Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

el-cee · el-cee

Son has been officially living here for 8 days, don't get me wrong, hes been more or less back before that. Well, he comes in on Friday night drunk. The next morning I tell him he cant come here drunk or drinking. Tonight, he comes in drunk, three days later. Now, I feel like I must defend my boundary and tel...

Gaby · Gaby

As most of you all know my son is now living in an SLE and on Friday he was asked to leave for 5 days until he is able to test clean. Well Friday he stayed in his car and stayed in the parking garage at the SLE. He calls me Saturday asked to talked with me. We met and he says he never thought this would be his low slee...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Now my son is back at the hospital. He texted telling me it was all black and wide open.....not healing. What else can go wrong with him. I said OK and wished him well.....

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Daughter got up. It was raining and thundering. Too heavy to walk to school in. I wasn't pleased with the idea but I knocked on ABF's door and asked him if he would drive her to school as it was an absolute hurricane outside. Please note, we never ask him to do this but today the weather was just so bad. And I f...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

What HP didn't give me in men, he gave me in darlings. Capturing these guys like this today made me smile

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I thought I was doing alright for awhile, but the codie self-doubt is back. I haven't been stocking the larder for a few months now. When I do, I just buy things that I want, as opposed to my prior shopping habits which revolved around the A and his wants. I occasionally buy a few things the A eats, such as...

el-cee · el-cee

I can't remember how to use my Alanon tools. I know it sounds insane but since this happened with my son I cant seem to get myself back on track. I feel like Im losing it all over again. I am finding it hard to work on myself I want to block it out rather than work on recovery. I am not taking care of myself, Im los...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Dear Lord, I pray. I want to show my gratitude for all that you have given me. I am grateful for all the wonderful things and wonderful experiences. Today, I am sitting on my couch, watching football, enjoying some ice cream. nice and peaceful. Not every minute of my day has to be occupied and 'productiv...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I am reading a lot here today about trying not to rescue the alcoholic. This experience of mine I am sharing is in no way meant to judge anyone here - my only aim is to be helpful. Last night when I was at the Friends and Family Big Book Study meeting (this is a meeting where Alanons are all doing the steps usin...

neshema2 · neshema2

I think I need to back off to a bit of a degree........work on my steps book w/sponsor and stay in my own playground till I figure this out.......I think I am best suited for "next door" then for here......seems my posts are more of an abrasive on this side then just sharing my es&h which w...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well, that first part happened on Wednesday and I had court on Thursday and OMGOSH .. that was just a hoot. This was for the OP and no I'm not divorced yet .. LOL. I have an EOP until 1/30/14. This was my morning that day .. LOL .. I walk in and a deputy/bailiff had a lovely conversation. Pretty much .. him...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Everyone Since Sunday when I took my son in for the night and then Monday taking him back to his place, we have had contact. We have talked on the phone and I said things like I will help if you get your act together and find a job but not until then. MISTAKE Then he calls me one evening in a stupo...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Hi all, I've been trying to read and respond to posts I really have a hard time trying to respond on my phone. Still internet challenged and now the computer has decided to act up. LOL! Just rolling along because it is what it is :) I guess I should start off with stating that one of my best friends has rel...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I just returned from a nine day stay in Texas. I was there for Thanksgiving to visit my daughter and her family, and also to help my son-in-law take care of their two toddler-aged sons (my grandsons) while my daughter attended a four day conference out of state. I was so glad to have to my able to grab my &qu...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

It seems like there's always one slogan or tool that makes itself available when things are getting rough. Sometimes it just takes a while for me to see it. Since our "wonderful chat", ABF has been awful. No surprise there; he was on a high at the time full of big plans and pipe dreams and beer....

John · John

I posted earlier about Dec 6th being my birthday, well it is! Problem is, I completely missed acknowledging a year! I'm 55, not 54! (Dec 6th 1958) My sister says that during the first year of being separated from my ex, I was so emotionally sick, and didn't do anything that would have created any memo...

Naydel · Naydel

Hello. My name is Renee and I am codependent. Tonight I attended my first al anon meeting after much urging by alcoholic husband's counselors. Listening to all that they talked about the term codependent was sort of thrown around freely and it stuck with me. Really not understanding exactly how that...

stilllearning · stilllearning

Hello all, I'm trying to be mindful... be present.. and it hurts.. I just had to put an old friend down(13year old black lab) because his health was failing him and strangely enough I had to put his brother down (because of different health issues) a month ago.. Pretty weird... all these years togeth...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I thought I should say hello. I have been lurking around the board for a few weeks now and responding to posts here and there. I don't recognize a lot of names. It's good to see all the new family members have found their way to us. I also so a few names that I remember from when I was more active on the bo...

mm830 · mm830

Hi Everyone. I could use a little help understanding how to stay on my own side of the road, really struggling with what I think the A should and should not do, his mother completely enabling as in paying for a thousand dollar car repair this week then he is calling me for help with a utility bill, I want to p...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good evening everyone After my meltdown last weekend and telling my SO I'm DONE and I will be moving out, he freaked. He asked if we could at least try doing just one thing together on the weekend so we don't isolate each other. I agreed. Today I got up and asked..OK....I am going out are you going. He sa...

Lyne · Lyne

Today I must work at my mom's (she is 90) house, with my brother, and her live in companion is an active alcoholic. As a result he is angry all the time, unreasonable, stubborn, a real drag to deal with. I feel steady as I face this task. I think I will be reciting many slogans and using the Serenity Praye...

abbyal · abbyal

Yagottawanna - go to that first meeting as a step out of the pit of despair. Yagottawanna -go to meeting after meeting if you desire progress. Yagottawanna -Listen when you get there. Yagottawanna - Do what it says to do . Yagottawanna- Work the twelve steps , not merely analyze them. The progra...

decgirl1973 · decgirl1973

I've been lurking on here for a few days. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic who's been sober for 6 years. Al anon has been recommended to me several times but I always felt like I couldn't devote any more of my physical or emotional energy to "His" disease. I still have so much resentme...

John · John

Yes, today is my birthday. Thank you everyone who sent me happy birthday wishes on FB. Wow... 54 yrs old. There was a time in my life that I did not believe I would live past my 30's. Life has had its up's and down's, its good's and bad's, its joy and it's pain's.. but I wouldn't want to trade my life for any on...

abbyal · abbyal

As I try to live the Al-Anon program each day , I find myself with the right to and responsibility for a new set of values and attitudes , I still have the right to become upset but I find that I also have the responsibility to turn away from anger. I have the right to be supportive of others but the resp...

oldergal · oldergal

I am still here, although I am pretty messed up. The more you help me the lower my bottom has too be. I am smart, but effected by this disease, I feel like I am in hell when I try to come back to life. My brain has been altered so much that it doesn't function very good anymore. My body is so addicted that all i...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

After my last post about the concerns I have regarding my husband's health, I realized something that made me really sad. We are probably not going to grow old together. We are probably not going to get to retire to Vancouver together. Some days i wonder if I'll be a widow by the time I'm 40. Despite t...

Gaby · Gaby

I know I have been told many times I need to work my program.. I agree very much I do.. I need to gain my sanity back and let go and move out if my sons way and pray for him.. Some say he has hope. He's been down this road before and he has the tools to not go back where he was. I wish so much I was working my program str...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, here I go: I haven't been able to post on here for about 2 weeks I think. Anyhow, I am doing OK but have had some difficult moments since the last time I posted. I had a somewhat crappy Thanksgiving. My husband didn't honor my wishes & cooked the entire meal w/o any help from me. Normally to everyone...

Gaby · Gaby

Well it's going on day 3 that I have not spoken to my son. Yes it hurts because even through the times he was using we were still close or I maybe have been just enabling him and comforting him an nourishing him.. I miss him and will always love him. Right now I am to fragile to even call him where he is staying a...

Gaby · Gaby

I called the sle place where my son is and the house parent said he was worried about him he did not sleep all night. I choked up. Because I already know certain signs. He said my son has not been there all day. I believe I need to stop checking on my son. I'm driving myself crazy. I know my som had no phone. Even...

el-cee · el-cee

While participating in the nightmare weekend but in a detached way. I found that I was working my program and I was doing fine but on no it wasn't to last. Im feeling that old familiar dis-ease and I'm trying to work out what is going on with me. It could be:Im denying my feelings about what happened to my so...

oldergal · oldergal

I already see posts about Christmas Holidays. The dread of it all! Please figure out what Christmas and New Years really means to you, and then keep it simple. More money spent doesn't make it better. It seems I see more unhappiness during the holidays than anything else. It's enough to have to deal wit...

Gaby · Gaby

Yesterday was very tough.. My son as you all know is living in an SLE place. Well he called me yesterday from a random number and said that someone stoled his phone. Well I know for a fact that's not true.. I checked it all out went to his place and truly called him his bullshit..

Milehi-tlc · Milehi-tlc

I can really tell when I've not been working the program as much as I should. The real the gift of alanon is that I can now see what works and what doesn't work In my life. I've been through huge challenges in the past year and with the support and fellowship of the program I've made it through the worst of...

Gaby · Gaby

I again did not go to work. This depression has kicked my a** all do to the fact that all I worry and fear about my son that at this time does not want to talk to me. It's really hurts but what can I do. I love him and really need to work my program. God bless.. -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 5th of December 2013 0...

milkwood · milkwood

I've been feeling a bit disconnected recently. We live in a beautiful part of Italy and there really isn't anything wrong with life at the moment but it is sometimes a bit lonely here so I find myself feeling listless and unmotivated. It will pass. So despite the fact that I might not be good company t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well. After over 2 weeks of hiding in his room, drinking, playing computer games, being a complete and utter A to me (interpret that how you will) and refusing to do anything about his job-situation, ABF's brother came to visit and managed to inspire him to come out of his room and rejoin the human race....

Jerry F · Jerry F

is making a decision. Aloha no family and this post is a response to some of the shares I've been reading this morning; the ones where the member speaks of deciding to take an action which may or may not be appropriate and/or work out positively...of course the oldtimers know that often times when oth...

Tigger · Tigger

Hi everyone, Following last nights business meeting, I thought it might useful to clarify OP staus. This is indicated by a gold symbol beside a person's name in the website chat room, or by a coloured icon in other chat programs. It is called OP "stautus" in computer chatroom terminolog...

el-cee · el-cee

My biggest fear as a Mother has just came true and believe it or not I am coping and coping quite well. My program has came to life for me in a different way entirely. My head has been filled with the 3c's, I have constantly said 'I am powerless' and Im here to tell you guys what I have been unable to say out loud...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Ok, I think I know the answer to this but I was looking for ESH here. My AH keeps talking about this daily bible devotional he wants to do with me. Talking about websites, should we do one for married people, what would I prefer, etc? Honestly, what I'd prefer is for him to move out. Just when I hit my wal...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I felt bad. I went to help. He lost keys phone can't get into his apt. Nobody to open the door. He has no where to go except with me. He has a open wound the size of a golf ball I'm crying right in front of him. I'm having a breakdown Please some esh. Using phone can't type on it. O god help me

Gaby · Gaby

I don't know why my post are double posting or does not allow me to finish.. So as I was saying I called him on his bullshit.. I had to go to a meeting and they allowed me to let it all out.. The last I told my son was I can not do this no more. I can't help him no more. I was done an I left. I love my son, but I am truly jus...

Katytexasmom · Katytexasmom

My sweet boy....I know that 'better' is temporary until you get some recovery, but when you tell me YOUR plans I just want to SMACK YOU!!!!!!! i have to laugh to keep from SCREAMING! My son informs me he is getting an apartment with his cousin, WORST person to be around! Neither of them have a car, a JOB,...

rehprof · rehprof

I can feel the big ol' weight of depression creeping up on me...I'm feeling overwhelmed by end of semester demands, endless minor details and paperwork, housework and oh, yah Christmas. I know I SHOULD be excited about Xmas...and decorating...but it always seems like a lot of mess and nonsense for...

abbyalana · abbyalana

Now that the exAH is out of my life...I finally get to see through the fog and begin working on ME! I'm not suggesting that prior to the divorce I didn't have my own issues, it's just very difficult to see them and work on them when the world is revolving around the alcoholic and you are very isolated from a...

HisMrsWright · HisMrsWright

Today is the day. The day I was "supposed" to file a divorce. I failed once again. I can't do it. I keep telling myself it's because I can't get him served but I know it's a lie. I have set at least one boundary I won't go back on. I won't let him come home until he goes to a real rehab. He hasn't asked t...

Gaby · Gaby

So fustrated at myself.. I love my son.. I truly feel like I may have abandoned him but truly I had to change things up. I needed to stick with my rental agreement.. There are consequences in life and I feel that he needs to pay them. I love him but I've done all I can do.. Now it's all up to him. And i will pray!!...

Not Alone · Not Alone

Well here I am again - I shouldn't have left really as I always found comfort in these boards. So much has happened since my last posts. Seems the last time I was on I had asked him to leave and he did. Not long after he left I found out I was pregnant. Yowza! He was out of the house for a while returning eventual...

Gaby · Gaby

I helped my son move into an SLE.. I give him to god.. I've done absolutely all I can do. I love him and care for him, but I had to stand my ground on having him out of my home. I can only pray. He is not far from home, or anything else and SLE.. It is not a recovery program. But if he truly wants it he would go to any ex...

Gaby · Gaby

So fustrated at myself.. I love my son.. I truly feel like I may have abandoned him but truly I had to change things up. I needed to stick with my rental agreement.. There are consequences in life and I feel that he needs to pay them. I love him but I've done all I can do.. Now it's all up to him. And i will pray!!...

DavidG · DavidG

I wanted to post this up... ... a song of love, it bought ears to my eyes... um... tears to my eyes... its sunday am here already... a neighbour lost his dog and came round to seek help... grandkids, 5 out of six will be filling the house and backyard in one hour... having some adult time... Sundays as a k...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I understand and accept that I have no control over my husband's drinking, but I think it's starting to seriously affect his health. The past several nights he's thrown up within a few minutes of eating. He thinks it's a stomach bug, but bugs don't last that long. I'd like him to go see the doc, but he d...

ALotToLearn · ALotToLearn

After 20+ years of having a sober father, I am now watching him slip into his old ways. Along with watching him slip I am watching my mom in turn to her old ways of enabling him. This time around, they are ultimately shutting me and my older siblings out. Most of our phone calls are not answered, excuses are...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Good afternoon every one , we have another crisis here at home . And I'm one of those uncertainly what this is caused bye . Me and my husband sorted out our Boundarys we stay away from the topics that would bring us to the ring . I have my skills up to date he good on his end , but now the children are back at it aga...

marmoset · marmoset

As all of us do, I have a long story. My life has taken me to a place where I am not entirely sure what to do. To sum up, I am deeply involved with an alcoholic who is beginning recovery, but I am not his wife. He already has one. I am a 41YO woman. For almost 3 years I have been in a relationship with a man, an old fr...

Minibee · Minibee

I took the plunge and told my mum how I was feeling ( nervous on edge waiting for the criticism ... & after the usual initial response of well I just won't come and I'll keep my mouth shut like I normally do...) she told me the real reason. She feels it's all about me, I never contact her, do anything for h...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

to everyone that expressed concern and well-wishes over my no-refrigerator situation. Just a few days ago, my grandmother conveniently decided to upgrade to a new fridge, leaving her (perfectly good and relatively new) fridge free to a good home. She offered to buy me a new fridge several times and...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Back on the merrygoround (Preview) Son has been officially living here for 8 days, don't get me wrong, hes been more or less back before that. Well, he comes in on Friday night drunk. The next morning I tell him he cant come here drunk or drinking. Tonight, he comes in drunk, three days later. Now, I feel like I must defend my boundary and tel...	el-cee	7	425	Dec 10, 2013 by PP
	Not sure if I am helping or I enabled?? (Preview) As most of you all know my son is now living in an SLE and on Friday he was asked to leave for 5 days until he is able to test clean. Well Friday he stayed in his car and stayed in the parking garage at the SLE. He calls me Saturday asked to talked with me. We met and he says he never thought this would be his low slee...	Gaby	5	364	Dec 10, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Hospital (Preview) Now my son is back at the hospital. He texted telling me it was all black and wide open.....not healing. What else can go wrong with him. I said OK and wished him well.....	Cathyinaz	29	419	Dec 10, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Hello, monster. (Preview) Daughter got up. It was raining and thundering. Too heavy to walk to school in. I wasn't pleased with the idea but I knocked on ABF's door and asked him if he would drive her to school as it was an absolute hurricane outside. Please note, we never ask him to do this but today the weather was just so bad. And I f...	Melly1248	17	693	Dec 9, 2013 by sadsusie
	Awww (Preview) What HP didn't give me in men, he gave me in darlings. Capturing these guys like this today made me smile	Melly1248	8	366	Dec 9, 2013 by Jen61
	is this wrong? (Preview) I thought I was doing alright for awhile, but the codie self-doubt is back. I haven't been stocking the larder for a few months now. When I do, I just buy things that I want, as opposed to my prior shopping habits which revolved around the A and his wants. I occasionally buy a few things the A eats, such as...	Raven Juniper	6	401	Dec 9, 2013 by neshema2
	I've forgot how to do it! (Preview) I can't remember how to use my Alanon tools. I know it sounds insane but since this happened with my son I cant seem to get myself back on track. I feel like Im losing it all over again. I am finding it hard to work on myself I want to block it out rather than work on recovery. I am not taking care of myself, Im los...	el-cee	19	512	Dec 9, 2013 by hotrod
	Lord, I ask for help. A prayer to my higher power. (Preview) Dear Lord, I pray. I want to show my gratitude for all that you have given me. I am grateful for all the wonderful things and wonderful experiences. Today, I am sitting on my couch, watching football, enjoying some ice cream. nice and peaceful. Not every minute of my day has to be occupied and 'productiv...	slogan_jim	10	364	Dec 9, 2013 by mm830
	Boundaries (Preview) I am reading a lot here today about trying not to rescue the alcoholic. This experience of mine I am sharing is in no way meant to judge anyone here - my only aim is to be helpful. Last night when I was at the Friends and Family Big Book Study meeting (this is a meeting where Alanons are all doing the steps usin...	WorkingThroughIt	4	418	Dec 9, 2013 by el-cee
	is what is best for the common group staying in my own sandbox (Preview) I think I need to back off to a bit of a degree........work on my steps book w/sponsor and stay in my own playground till I figure this out.......I think I am best suited for "next door" then for here......seems my posts are more of an abrasive on this side then just sharing my es&h which w...	neshema2	3	399	Dec 9, 2013 by el-cee
	Update Part 2 (Preview) Well, that first part happened on Wednesday and I had court on Thursday and OMGOSH .. that was just a hoot. This was for the OP and no I'm not divorced yet .. LOL. I have an EOP until 1/30/14. This was my morning that day .. LOL .. I walk in and a deputy/bailiff had a lovely conversation. Pretty much .. him...	SerenityRUS	5	334	Dec 9, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	I Have to Stop Again (Preview) Good Morning Everyone Since Sunday when I took my son in for the night and then Monday taking him back to his place, we have had contact. We have talked on the phone and I said things like I will help if you get your act together and find a job but not until then. MISTAKE Then he calls me one evening in a stupo...	Cathyinaz	15	544	Dec 9, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Update Part 1 (Preview) Hi all, I've been trying to read and respond to posts I really have a hard time trying to respond on my phone. Still internet challenged and now the computer has decided to act up. LOL! Just rolling along because it is what it is :) I guess I should start off with stating that one of my best friends has rel...	SerenityRUS	0	243	Dec 8, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Practicing Step 12 (Preview) I just returned from a nine day stay in Texas. I was there for Thanksgiving to visit my daughter and her family, and also to help my son-in-law take care of their two toddler-aged sons (my grandsons) while my daughter attended a four day conference out of state. I was so glad to have to my able to grab my &qu...	Green Eyes	7	465	Dec 9, 2013 by Green Eyes
	Pick-a-slogan (Preview) It seems like there's always one slogan or tool that makes itself available when things are getting rough. Sometimes it just takes a while for me to see it. Since our "wonderful chat", ABF has been awful. No surprise there; he was on a high at the time full of big plans and pipe dreams and beer....	Melly1248	15	471	Dec 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	I discovered something yesterday.. my birthday! (Preview) I posted earlier about Dec 6th being my birthday, well it is! Problem is, I completely missed acknowledging a year! I'm 55, not 54! (Dec 6th 1958) My sister says that during the first year of being separated from my ex, I was so emotionally sick, and didn't do anything that would have created any memo...	John	7	232	Dec 8, 2013 by Peggy7
	Hello. My name is Renee and I am codependent. (Preview) Hello. My name is Renee and I am codependent. Tonight I attended my first al anon meeting after much urging by alcoholic husband's counselors. Listening to all that they talked about the term codependent was sort of thrown around freely and it stuck with me. Really not understanding exactly how that...	Naydel	11	2597	Dec 8, 2013 by Tricia911
	Grieving the loss of my two 13 year old black labs...:( (Preview) Hello all, I'm trying to be mindful... be present.. and it hurts.. I just had to put an old friend down(13year old black lab) because his health was failing him and strangely enough I had to put his brother down (because of different health issues) a month ago.. Pretty weird... all these years togeth...	stilllearning	13	587	Dec 8, 2013 by Peggy7
	Who's that lurking (Preview) Hi all, I thought I should say hello. I have been lurking around the board for a few weeks now and responding to posts here and there. I don't recognize a lot of names. It's good to see all the new family members have found their way to us. I also so a few names that I remember from when I was more active on the bo...	Mandy123	7	346	Dec 8, 2013 by Peggy7
	Staying on your side of the road - suggestions (Preview) Hi Everyone. I could use a little help understanding how to stay on my own side of the road, really struggling with what I think the A should and should not do, his mother completely enabling as in paying for a thousand dollar car repair this week then he is calling me for help with a utility bill, I want to p...	mm830	10	1011	Dec 8, 2013 by maryjane
	Good Day (Preview) Good evening everyone After my meltdown last weekend and telling my SO I'm DONE and I will be moving out, he freaked. He asked if we could at least try doing just one thing together on the weekend so we don't isolate each other. I agreed. Today I got up and asked..OK....I am going out are you going. He sa...	Cathyinaz	13	470	Dec 8, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	dealing with an active alcoholic today (Preview) Today I must work at my mom's (she is 90) house, with my brother, and her live in companion is an active alcoholic. As a result he is angry all the time, unreasonable, stubborn, a real drag to deal with. I feel steady as I face this task. I think I will be reciting many slogans and using the Serenity Praye...	Lyne	4	355	Dec 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	YAGOTTAWANNA (Preview) Yagottawanna - go to that first meeting as a step out of the pit of despair. Yagottawanna -go to meeting after meeting if you desire progress. Yagottawanna -Listen when you get there. Yagottawanna - Do what it says to do . Yagottawanna- Work the twelve steps , not merely analyze them. The progra...	abbyal	9	445	Dec 8, 2013 by neshema2
	Ready to find ME!! (Preview) I've been lurking on here for a few days. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic who's been sober for 6 years. Al anon has been recommended to me several times but I always felt like I couldn't devote any more of my physical or emotional energy to "His" disease. I still have so much resentme...	decgirl1973	7	398	Dec 7, 2013 by neshema2
	Today is my birthday... (Preview) Yes, today is my birthday. Thank you everyone who sent me happy birthday wishes on FB. Wow... 54 yrs old. There was a time in my life that I did not believe I would live past my 30's. Life has had its up's and down's, its good's and bad's, its joy and it's pain's.. but I wouldn't want to trade my life for any on...	John	16	543	Dec 7, 2013 by lgnutah
	A piece of literature from an old Forum magazine that helped me to become the person I wanted to be (Preview) As I try to live the Al-Anon program each day , I find myself with the right to and responsibility for a new set of values and attitudes , I still have the right to become upset but I find that I also have the responsibility to turn away from anger. I have the right to be supportive of others but the resp...	abbyal	8	280	Dec 7, 2013 by neshema2
	To Mom, From Your Son Who Loves You (Preview) I am still here, although I am pretty messed up. The more you help me the lower my bottom has too be. I am smart, but effected by this disease, I feel like I am in hell when I try to come back to life. My brain has been altered so much that it doesn't function very good anymore. My body is so addicted that all i...	oldergal	7	325	Dec 6, 2013 by PP
	A realization that set in to a bout of sadness (Preview) After my last post about the concerns I have regarding my husband's health, I realized something that made me really sad. We are probably not going to grow old together. We are probably not going to get to retire to Vancouver together. Some days i wonder if I'll be a widow by the time I'm 40. Despite t...	SpiderArcana	8	386	Dec 6, 2013 by bud
	Just need to vent.. (Preview) I know I have been told many times I need to work my program.. I agree very much I do.. I need to gain my sanity back and let go and move out if my sons way and pray for him.. Some say he has hope. He's been down this road before and he has the tools to not go back where he was. I wish so much I was working my program str...	Gaby	8	414	Dec 6, 2013 by bud
	I have been missing you all... (Preview) So, here I go: I haven't been able to post on here for about 2 weeks I think. Anyhow, I am doing OK but have had some difficult moments since the last time I posted. I had a somewhat crappy Thanksgiving. My husband didn't honor my wishes & cooked the entire meal w/o any help from me. Normally to everyone...	Hoot Nanny	3	314	Dec 6, 2013 by el-cee
	Prayed and Prayed.. For hope and faith !! (Preview) Well it's going on day 3 that I have not spoken to my son. Yes it hurts because even through the times he was using we were still close or I maybe have been just enabling him and comforting him an nourishing him.. I miss him and will always love him. Right now I am to fragile to even call him where he is staying a...	Gaby	2	300	Dec 5, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I really have to let things out here before I go crazy with all this pain.. (Preview) I called the sle place where my son is and the house parent said he was worried about him he did not sleep all night. I choked up. Because I already know certain signs. He said my son has not been there all day. I believe I need to stop checking on my son. I'm driving myself crazy. I know my som had no phone. Even...	Gaby	9	570	Dec 5, 2013 by el-cee
	Spoke too soon! (Preview) While participating in the nightmare weekend but in a detached way. I found that I was working my program and I was doing fine but on no it wasn't to last. Im feeling that old familiar dis-ease and I'm trying to work out what is going on with me. It could be:Im denying my feelings about what happened to my so...	el-cee	5	252	Dec 5, 2013 by el-cee
	KEEP IT SIMPLE (Preview) I already see posts about Christmas Holidays. The dread of it all! Please figure out what Christmas and New Years really means to you, and then keep it simple. More money spent doesn't make it better. It seems I see more unhappiness during the holidays than anything else. It's enough to have to deal wit...	oldergal	10	955	Dec 5, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Went to a face to face meeting.. (Preview) Yesterday was very tough.. My son as you all know is living in an SLE place. Well he called me yesterday from a random number and said that someone stoled his phone. Well I know for a fact that's not true.. I checked it all out went to his place and truly called him his bullshit..	Gaby	3	214	Dec 5, 2013 by Tracy
	Focus and gratitude (Preview) I can really tell when I've not been working the program as much as I should. The real the gift of alanon is that I can now see what works and what doesn't work In my life. I've been through huge challenges in the past year and with the support and fellowship of the program I've made it through the worst of...	Milehi-tlc	3	330	Dec 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	Today was another tough day.. (Preview) I again did not go to work. This depression has kicked my a** all do to the fact that all I worry and fear about my son that at this time does not want to talk to me. It's really hurts but what can I do. I love him and really need to work my program. God bless.. -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 5th of December 2013 0...	Gaby	4	240	Dec 5, 2013 by milkwood
	Just saying hello (Preview) I've been feeling a bit disconnected recently. We live in a beautiful part of Italy and there really isn't anything wrong with life at the moment but it is sometimes a bit lonely here so I find myself feeling listless and unmotivated. It will pass. So despite the fact that I might not be good company t...	milkwood	27	594	Dec 5, 2013 by PP
	Down the rabbit hole. (Preview) Well. After over 2 weeks of hiding in his room, drinking, playing computer games, being a complete and utter A to me (interpret that how you will) and refusing to do anything about his job-situation, ABF's brother came to visit and managed to inspire him to come out of his room and rejoin the human race....	Melly1248	10	542	Dec 5, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Not making a decision (Preview) is making a decision. Aloha no family and this post is a response to some of the shares I've been reading this morning; the ones where the member speaks of deciding to take an action which may or may not be appropriate and/or work out positively...of course the oldtimers know that often times when oth...	Jerry F	4	371	Dec 4, 2013 by Tasha
	WHAT IS A CHAT ROOM MEETING "OP"? (Preview) Hi everyone, Following last nights business meeting, I thought it might useful to clarify OP staus. This is indicated by a gold symbol beside a person's name in the website chat room, or by a coloured icon in other chat programs. It is called OP "stautus" in computer chatroom terminolog...	Tigger	2	274	Dec 4, 2013 by hotrod
	Nightmare before Christmas!!! (Preview) My biggest fear as a Mother has just came true and believe it or not I am coping and coping quite well. My program has came to life for me in a different way entirely. My head has been filled with the 3c's, I have constantly said 'I am powerless' and Im here to tell you guys what I have been unable to say out loud...	el-cee	11	541	Dec 4, 2013 by neshema2
	Don't want him to get better? WHY? (Preview) Ok, I think I know the answer to this but I was looking for ESH here. My AH keeps talking about this daily bible devotional he wants to do with me. Talking about websites, should we do one for married people, what would I prefer, etc? Honestly, what I'd prefer is for him to move out. Just when I hit my wal...	ilovedogs	16	569	Dec 4, 2013 by abbyal
	I went to the crisis (Preview) I felt bad. I went to help. He lost keys phone can't get into his apt. Nobody to open the door. He has no where to go except with me. He has a open wound the size of a golf ball I'm crying right in front of him. I'm having a breakdown Please some esh. Using phone can't type on it. O god help me	Cathyinaz	34	785	Dec 4, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Continued.. (Preview) I don't know why my post are double posting or does not allow me to finish.. So as I was saying I called him on his bullshit.. I had to go to a meeting and they allowed me to let it all out.. The last I told my son was I can not do this no more. I can't help him no more. I was done an I left. I love my son, but I am truly jus...	Gaby	5	214	Dec 4, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	You are going to do WHAT? (Preview) My sweet boy....I know that 'better' is temporary until you get some recovery, but when you tell me YOUR plans I just want to SMACK YOU!!!!!!! i have to laugh to keep from SCREAMING! My son informs me he is getting an apartment with his cousin, WORST person to be around! Neither of them have a car, a JOB,...	Katytexasmom	8	525	Dec 4, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Fighting the funk... (Preview) I can feel the big ol' weight of depression creeping up on me...I'm feeling overwhelmed by end of semester demands, endless minor details and paperwork, housework and oh, yah Christmas. I know I SHOULD be excited about Xmas...and decorating...but it always seems like a lot of mess and nonsense for...	rehprof	7	334	Dec 3, 2013 by Debilyn
	Working on me (Preview) Now that the exAH is out of my life...I finally get to see through the fog and begin working on ME! I'm not suggesting that prior to the divorce I didn't have my own issues, it's just very difficult to see them and work on them when the world is revolving around the alcoholic and you are very isolated from a...	abbyalana	7	318	Dec 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	I failed. Once again. (Preview) Today is the day. The day I was "supposed" to file a divorce. I failed once again. I can't do it. I keep telling myself it's because I can't get him served but I know it's a lie. I have set at least one boundary I won't go back on. I won't let him come home until he goes to a real rehab. He hasn't asked t...	HisMrsWright	15	461	Dec 3, 2013 by abbyal
	Uggggg!!! (Preview) So fustrated at myself.. I love my son.. I truly feel like I may have abandoned him but truly I had to change things up. I needed to stick with my rental agreement.. There are consequences in life and I feel that he needs to pay them. I love him but I've done all I can do.. Now it's all up to him. And i will pray!!...	Gaby	3	598	Dec 3, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Baaaack (Preview) Well here I am again - I shouldn't have left really as I always found comfort in these boards. So much has happened since my last posts. Seems the last time I was on I had asked him to leave and he did. Not long after he left I found out I was pregnant. Yowza! He was out of the house for a while returning eventual...	Not Alone	4	343	Dec 3, 2013 by Tracy
	Well son moved in to an SLE.. (Preview) I helped my son move into an SLE.. I give him to god.. I've done absolutely all I can do. I love him and care for him, but I had to stand my ground on having him out of my home. I can only pray. He is not far from home, or anything else and SLE.. It is not a recovery program. But if he truly wants it he would go to any ex...	Gaby	4	258	Dec 2, 2013 by Rose50
	Uggggg!!! (Preview) So fustrated at myself.. I love my son.. I truly feel like I may have abandoned him but truly I had to change things up. I needed to stick with my rental agreement.. There are consequences in life and I feel that he needs to pay them. I love him but I've done all I can do.. Now it's all up to him. And i will pray!!...	Gaby	1	202	Dec 2, 2013 by deacon
	A song for Sunday... (Preview) I wanted to post this up... ... a song of love, it bought ears to my eyes... um... tears to my eyes... its sunday am here already... a neighbour lost his dog and came round to seek help... grandkids, 5 out of six will be filling the house and backyard in one hour... having some adult time... Sundays as a k...	DavidG	3	331	Dec 2, 2013 by DavidG
	Health concerns (Preview) I understand and accept that I have no control over my husband's drinking, but I think it's starting to seriously affect his health. The past several nights he's thrown up within a few minutes of eating. He thinks it's a stomach bug, but bugs don't last that long. I'd like him to go see the doc, but he d...	SpiderArcana	6	284	Dec 2, 2013 by SpiderArcana
	Feelings of abandonment...again (Preview) After 20+ years of having a sober father, I am now watching him slip into his old ways. Along with watching him slip I am watching my mom in turn to her old ways of enabling him. This time around, they are ultimately shutting me and my older siblings out. Most of our phone calls are not answered, excuses are...	ALotToLearn	5	173	Dec 2, 2013 by PP
	He say she say / with children (Preview) Good afternoon every one , we have another crisis here at home . And I'm one of those uncertainly what this is caused bye . Me and my husband sorted out our Boundarys we stay away from the topics that would bring us to the ring . I have my skills up to date he good on his end , but now the children are back at it aga...	Wisdom67	4	282	Dec 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	conundrum (Preview) As all of us do, I have a long story. My life has taken me to a place where I am not entirely sure what to do. To sum up, I am deeply involved with an alcoholic who is beginning recovery, but I am not his wife. He already has one. I am a 41YO woman. For almost 3 years I have been in a relationship with a man, an old fr...	marmoset	4	279	Dec 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	Follow up to my mums turning into the alcoholic in my life (Preview) I took the plunge and told my mum how I was feeling ( nervous on edge waiting for the criticism ... & after the usual initial response of well I just won't come and I'll keep my mouth shut like I normally do...) she told me the real reason. She feels it's all about me, I never contact her, do anything for h...	Minibee	2	270	Dec 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Oh and also.. (Preview) to everyone that expressed concern and well-wishes over my no-refrigerator situation. Just a few days ago, my grandmother conveniently decided to upgrade to a new fridge, leaving her (perfectly good and relatively new) fridge free to a good home. She offered to buy me a new fridge several times and...	Melly1248	7	384	Dec 1, 2013 by neshema2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.