Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lyne · Lyne

Last night my A was trying to pull a fast one. With roads turning to ice, my A announced she had to go "shopping" to pick up a prescription she doesn't need right now. I recognize this BS to mean she either needs to drink, eat, or gamble, so much so that she is willing to risk her life to take care...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Did I take advantage of him or did he just love me more than I deserved? I mean did my dad in the last stages of his life spend too much time enabling me? I know that he loved me but because of my illness could he have done it differently? I know that now is probably the wrong time to bring this up but I read a post j...

tortuga · tortuga

Do you get this sometimes? this confusion, when you think about the merry-go-round, when the fighting is over, when you stepped out or were forced due to circumstances to walk away? Sometimes I think, wow, how crazy we both were. then I think, how crazy he was for accusing me of things that are not me. T...

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes I try to connect with my higher power through reading my alanon books or looking at nature and appreciating it and sometimes through the happenings in my day to day life. Recently, I have felt like this forum is my connection too. I always seem to read something I need and I feel like the people...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

This is a quote that was sent to me. It is so true and such a good reminder to all of us who have been involved with an addict.I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot and will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I received another one of those "my life is crumbling around me" texts yesterday from my son, a 28-year old "dry drunk" addict - no crystal meth use for almost 8 years now, but he does use alcohol and some grass, and of course he doesn't go to meetings and he doesn't work a program. ...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am beside myself and just thought I could pull it off, but it was not going to happen. I need to decide by Friday if I want to try to take this class over accelerated in January or wait and take it slower next semester and give up my seat with my class now. STRESS!!!!

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes I get angry when I think of the pain and suffering these children of ours cause us, but whats the use of that? They are oblivious, totally ignorant of the horrible feeling in the stomach, sleepless nights, fear and worry. They don't have a clue. They may listen if you try to tell them but they do...

Gaby · Gaby

Our neighbors husband found my son on the side of the freeway in his car out of gas. They called me and that was my opportunity to take the car. And I did just that.. My son would have now been left with nothing other then the streets and some way some how he figured I'll get my last high an do the rehab again. So...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I just rediscovered this entry in my journal and wanted to share it with other parents who are hurting right now, like me. It's from the Al-Anon Forum: My dear daughter, You asked me to write a letter stating the impact your addiction to alcohol has had on me. Ive given a great deal of thought to th...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Im so angry and resentful. The deep seated kind of anger. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to deal with that? It is coming from the fact that my alcoholic boyfriend is playing crazy-making games with me. IE: treating me badly and then when I have boundaries and don't want to spend time with him b...

Carla042 · Carla042

Greetings, I am no stranger to this program though lately I feel I am because I'm not workin it...I have two children active and one that I just allowed to move back with me after being out for almost a year, and boy I'm stuck n the coulda woulda shoulda.He called and said he was living in a van,its cold ,no f...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Why do I always post in 2's lately? One to vent out what everyone else is doing wrong and then one to talk about me and vent some more...seems like. lol I'm so not on track right now. But I will be again. Saturday was a pretty hard day. It was the day I went with my daughter to buy her Christmas presents. She is g...

oldergal · oldergal

Just a reminder of the meaning of Codependent...it was helpful for me...just wanted to share....og Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissi...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi everyone, I have to go to work today. I am going to do my best to attend the Monday morning meeting. For those of you who know me, please send me a PM. I am having some weird stuff going on with my son coming home from college. I really need some support today. Thanks Robinks

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I opened my C2C this morning to read yesterdays reading but I first opened to August 31st. I think HP wanted me to read it today..... I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was lookin...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So I was just informed by my AD's twin sister, that my AD does not want to accept my invitation to meet with me (and her twin sister) for dinner over the holidays. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, but it still hurts so much. I still don't know what her issues are with me. If I did, it would be easier for me...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

I spent the weekend with my ABF after not seeing him or hearing from him for a week. He came over with flowers, shoveled out my extensive driveway, took me to dinner, movies, etc. Last night, we went to the market together, and got ingredients to make his fav meal. As I was cooking, he said he was going to ru...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

UNLESS I AM IN FOR A SURPRISE: I AM SPENDING TIME W/O MY FAMILY THIS YEAR. I AM FEELING THAT I WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME W/ STRANGERS THAN W/ THEM. THEY AREN'T REALLY THERE FOR ME ALL YEAR SO WHY SHOULD I CALL THEM, SEND CARDS OR GIFTS THIS YEAR? I HAVE BETTER FISH TO FRY & FRIENDS TO SPEND TIME W/. LAST YEAR I...

oldergal · oldergal

This has been posted before and is worth posting again....Kahlil GibranOn Children And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. Th...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My daughter has been contacting us more frequently, wanting to talk...and talk....jumping from topic to topic, and unable to listen when we talk. This goes on for a day or so and then we hear nothing for a few days. She can hardly process what we say and we cannot follow her train of thought. She is both...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Does anyone ever build trust back with an ah? He's in his own treatment (funny to even at that... I know that's not possible) I look back and have been in same place last 6 Christmas' God is so against divorce. My ah will not seperate (why would he?) it puts it on me to file and make him leave. But I've got p...

Jessp98559 · Jessp98559

Hi everyone! I am new to this and really contemplated whether or not I should be posting based on my current situation, but I figured it wouldnt hurt to get advice. I am looking for advice from anyone who has or had experience with recovering alcoholics. I wrote a great deal about my background and why I a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

His father was coming down to visit and give him a gift for Christmas. Can't get a hold of him. I called his phone.....he's bombed out of his mind on something. I'M DONE and I hung up and text him so when he's sober he will read it because he won't remember the phone call I'm sure. I was not nice.... I told...

Gaby · Gaby

Well it's been 3 days now that I have no idea what is happening with my son. Today I again did not go to work. I am so depressed!!! It's really hurting.. BUT I believe he is coherent enough to know what he is doing. His baby's m calls me yesterday to ask me what is going on?? I really have no reason to talk to her b...

mm830 · mm830

Hi, I think after four conversations where A ranted and raved at me we are broken up. I think I am okay, his last words were I want to make.sure we have this crystal clear, f you. So I am going back to sleep, nothing I can do right now I hung up on him several times, but just need some warm hugs. Sorry I know that...

irukan · irukan

I quit drinking almost 2 years ago, and my husband and most of my friends drink (often heavily). I am at the point where I don't want continue to host gatherings where I know my husband and our friends will drink a lot. I also am seeing that alcohol is coming between my husband and I. For us to be intimate, I k...

el-cee · el-cee

My daughter is staying with her Dad at the moment and I asked her if she was coming to mine for Christmas dinner. Well she seemed unsure and she asked me if I would ask her Dad because he was going to be on his own and of course she would feel awkward leaving. So, due to the fact that we had spent some time togeth...

Mattie · Mattie

I came across an account of what it's like to be addicted, written by a doctor who is/was addicted to morphine. I always couldn't help but wonder, "Why does the A not think of his impact on us? Doesn't he see what's going on? Why does he lie like that? Does he even know he's lying?" This pie...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I need help. I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. I am lost. I have no direction. As an ACOA, I have never had any proper direction. I don't know what I am doing. I feel I am to far gone to have a prosperous, happy future. I am overext...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

Forgive me for throwing myself back into the ocean to drown myself. He has moved out all his stuff except for whats in the garage. I need the rest gone. I am losing my home because I can't afford the bills on my own. I have to be out by the 30th. After he lost this last job, he sought sobriety treatment, and de...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I was sitting here feeling frustrated, as usual. AH and I had a nasty conversation the other day about this whole house buying thing. Finally I told him that I'd be the one to move out and I will rent because there was not way in he** I was going to sign any papers to take on a second mortgage with him. He ma...

tortuga · tortuga

So our love is gone, our dreams are gone, our pregnancy is gone. I think I have never felt that lonely and hurt before...my self-worth too is at the bottom after all the accusations and name calling. I have done so many mistakes in the past months.... when I once thought i found my way to deal with life and b...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Thank you to everyone who sent out a prayer to me or sent me positive energy. Last night was the first night in two weeks that I slept through the night! This is such a difficult time for me and just having the power of those prayers was enough to restore my faith. xoxoxooxox

Gaby · Gaby

I need support all the support I can have.. I go to my meetings .. I go to AA meetings to understand the disease.. I get on line to share. I keep in contact with my Sponser.. I just need more support. I feel alone when I know I am not.. The last I seen my son was Friday around 2pm.. I extended myself again to get hi...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Answered the phone. I knew it was her. When the phone rings and it is her, my whole body sort of slumps and I have to take a few moments to consider...do I really want to do this? Do I have enough to give today? Don't get me wrong. I care about A's mum. She has a loving heart and, unlike any other "mother in...

Jerry F · Jerry F

If anyone ever tries to tell me that we can't have fun when we want to I'm gonna tell them to "keep coming back". The meeting topic was Attitude which I will always show up for and then it was over and the food came out and then the "secret" by number gift exhange/swap and we got kno...

neshema2 · neshema2

I am at work...EVERYONE knows NOT to call me unless it is emergency.....My A brother (my close one) knows my days bc I tell him ea. Sunday, "these are my days....NO calls" I am on my boss's computer working on the G/L making sure accounts are "ok" and no adjustments needed and phon...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning all The son is on another cycle of drinking or drugs so will this time when he either gets hurt or comes down hard and he starts calling will I stay on my side of the street this time. Last time was my mistake of going to the hospital when I really didn't need to. This is like starting again for t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, every day is not rosey. I guess today could be one of those days if I let it. I am really just beginning my day. Time is going so fast that it is almost scary & hard to bear. But, in recovery we take it a day at a time. I am not an expert at anything but there are some things I do well. I am searching for more b...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi everyone....I am asking for some positive thoughts/prayers to be sent my way because I can't stop beating myself up. I am harder on myself than anyone else in my life. I am especially being hard on myself because I am very vulnerable right now as I go through a break up and an old qualifier is trying to w...

swood31 · swood31

For you that have read my past posts. My worst nightmare came true. My husband (34 years old) died suddenly in front of me on November 5th, 2013. I tried saving him & then the ambulance didn't make it in time. I had already called the ambulance earlier in the night when he started feeling really b...

Dotty2 · Dotty2

My son is coming up on 1 year clean and sober. I am suspecting an alcohol relapse. His behavior mimics old behavior. I detected a smell of what may be alcohol, and today his hands shook uncontrollably for several seconds. Ii know I am powerless, but I am filled with fear that it will escalate. He is on prob...

Gaby · Gaby

So my son left the SLE HOME yesterday morning.. I again went out to look for him why ?? Because I just can't seem to let go.. Yes I found him parked in front of a pond shop.. I pulled in asking I want the car back n he can live his life.. He said NO!! I told him your addiction is out of control he agrees then I said I'...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

The place I'm at now is strange. I feel pretty good but I don't know where God wants me. i mean, I kind of do but I kind of really don't know at all. I'm an Adult Child, Alanon AND an Alcoholic. I fit in everywhere but nowhere. It's weird. one thing I am experiencing is that I am at Step 1 in Alanon. I've been real...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Dear crazy neighbour. Thank-you for your unbelievably rude (and lengthy) note in my mailbox yesterday, and for the time you took to collect your patronising collection of pamphlets about "responsible pet ownership". I've never met you but I'm told that you are very advanced in age and p...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

What a very long week I have had. I allowed myself to become enmeshed in yet another situation that was not mine to take on. But, somehow I ended up smack in the middle of. Tues at 9AM a neighbor called and said the Sheriff was on the way to evict her. Not a huge surprise to me, she had not paid her mortgage in tw...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

A humble strategy to survive holiday gatherings. (1) Begin by considering what you have, as not the absolute worst thing to have. At least there is something to complain about when we have family.Think of children who survived the Holocaust who have no memories of their parents, or very few left...

Gaby · Gaby

He left the SLE HOUSE.. He is out there trying to get his next fix.. God is by me.. I feel the strength. I have done all I can do. All I can do now is pray !!! But I am so worried. I need peace !!

neshema2 · neshema2

MORE HELPFUL ACA/Al-Anon SAYINGSIf you've been around 12 Step programs at all,you've heard at least one of these.Here's just a SMALL list of some of the sayingsyou'll hear around the "rooms." "When you're home by yourself you're behind enemy lines." "If you share you...

oldergal · oldergal

If you buy a nice gift they will sell it, if you give them money they will drink it....funny, but not funny, I am stumped... og A nice dinner is what seems to come to my mind....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want!

glad · glad

Came on here and looked up old post because I am so thankful, I no longer have that turning in my gut.. the constant pain that comes with allowing an Alcoholic room in my mind or heart... that feeling I was addicted to like an emotional cutter.... About two years ago.. I literally felt like it was death...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Dear friends Today is an important day for my A husband. He has an important meeting that could go very well or very poorly. He is so much better than he was one year ago, but the demons are still there. I am also much much healthier, but I still am worrying today about the "what ifs". What if he...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't seem to get the nerve or whatever motivation maybe to get some cards sent out to my friends & loved ones this year. I feel like I am always doing this & sometimes getting anxious & even frustrated w/ the whole process. I am doing things anonymously this year though. I am not going to to...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I just got back from my annual well woman visit. The doc found a mass under my right arm, in the armpit area next to my breast. She said it felt fluid filled, which I'm hoping is a good sign that it's not cancer. She wants me to get an ultrasound and a mammogram. I am already frustrated with insurance iss...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Things are crazy with finals next week Monday and Wednesday for my last 2 classes, I have passed and am done with the other 2 this week and passed them with A's, but the next 2 are the harder ones for sure. I need all the prayers and good thoughts my MIP family can muster. I have to score pretty good on Mondays...

BeeBee · BeeBee

I have been dealing with an alcoholic Aunt (half Aunt) since I was a child; (I am now 52) and she is 56. She has been in and out of treatment too many times to count, and was sober for almost 8 years and started drinking again about a year ago. She has not been able to hold down a job and has depended on the fam...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

So yeah, it takes a lot of work for me to enjoy this season, especially the past decade plus... My parents and only sibling are gone, and I have very little contact with my older sons, and none with my daughter. Long story short, bad bad divorce and aftermath. So this year, my 2 oldest sons are without vehi...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Any advice out there as to how people deal with their obsession and control? Can't seem to turn off my brain sometimes and just give it to my higher power. Any tools or coping mechanisms people have learned? Corgi

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	coping with lies (Preview) Last night my A was trying to pull a fast one. With roads turning to ice, my A announced she had to go "shopping" to pick up a prescription she doesn't need right now. I recognize this BS to mean she either needs to drink, eat, or gamble, so much so that she is willing to risk her life to take care...	Lyne	2	587	Dec 18, 2013 by Debilyn
	did I take advantage of him? (Preview) Did I take advantage of him or did he just love me more than I deserved? I mean did my dad in the last stages of his life spend too much time enabling me? I know that he loved me but because of my illness could he have done it differently? I know that now is probably the wrong time to bring this up but I read a post j...	Hoot Nanny	3	538	Dec 18, 2013 by Mari1978
	when anger and guilt having a battle... (Preview) Do you get this sometimes? this confusion, when you think about the merry-go-round, when the fighting is over, when you stepped out or were forced due to circumstances to walk away? Sometimes I think, wow, how crazy we both were. then I think, how crazy he was for accusing me of things that are not me. T...	tortuga	6	451	Dec 18, 2013 by Mari1978
	Higher Power speaking here. (Preview) Sometimes I try to connect with my higher power through reading my alanon books or looking at nature and appreciating it and sometimes through the happenings in my day to day life. Recently, I have felt like this forum is my connection too. I always seem to read something I need and I feel like the people...	el-cee	7	332	Dec 18, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Life Lesson (Preview) This is a quote that was sent to me. It is so true and such a good reminder to all of us who have been involved with an addict.I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot and will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think...	wifeofalcoholic	5	344	Dec 18, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Seeking guidance and a sanity check - how to respond, if at all ?? (Preview) I received another one of those "my life is crumbling around me" texts yesterday from my son, a 28-year old "dry drunk" addict - no crystal meth use for almost 8 years now, but he does use alcohol and some grass, and of course he doesn't go to meetings and he doesn't work a program. ...	texas yankee	13	606	Dec 18, 2013 by texas yankee
	Failed my exam this morning (Preview) I am beside myself and just thought I could pull it off, but it was not going to happen. I need to decide by Friday if I want to try to take this class over accelerated in January or wait and take it slower next semester and give up my seat with my class now. STRESS!!!!	Breakingfree	11	531	Dec 18, 2013 by tortuga
	These Kids of ours!! (Preview) Sometimes I get angry when I think of the pain and suffering these children of ours cause us, but whats the use of that? They are oblivious, totally ignorant of the horrible feeling in the stomach, sleepless nights, fear and worry. They don't have a clue. They may listen if you try to tell them but they do...	el-cee	5	357	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	My son was found. (Preview) Our neighbors husband found my son on the side of the freeway in his car out of gas. They called me and that was my opportunity to take the car. And I did just that.. My son would have now been left with nothing other then the streets and some way some how he figured I'll get my last high an do the rehab again. So...	Gaby	10	601	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	A Letter to my AD (Preview) I just rediscovered this entry in my journal and wanted to share it with other parents who are hurting right now, like me. It's from the Al-Anon Forum: My dear daughter, You asked me to write a letter stating the impact your addiction to alcohol has had on me. Ive given a great deal of thought to th...	Green Eyes	5	379	Dec 17, 2013 by Rose50
	resentment, help. crazymaking…. (Preview) Im so angry and resentful. The deep seated kind of anger. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to deal with that? It is coming from the fact that my alcoholic boyfriend is playing crazy-making games with me. IE: treating me badly and then when I have boundaries and don't want to spend time with him b...	giraffe13	10	569	Dec 17, 2013 by PP
	Crawling back.... (Preview) Greetings, I am no stranger to this program though lately I feel I am because I'm not workin it...I have two children active and one that I just allowed to move back with me after being out for almost a year, and boy I'm stuck n the coulda woulda shoulda.He called and said he was living in a van,its cold ,no f...	Carla042	12	502	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Random pointless babble. (Preview) Why do I always post in 2's lately? One to vent out what everyone else is doing wrong and then one to talk about me and vent some more...seems like. lol I'm so not on track right now. But I will be again. Saturday was a pretty hard day. It was the day I went with my daughter to buy her Christmas presents. She is g...	Melly1248	19	582	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Some of us in Alanon are also Codependent... (Preview) Just a reminder of the meaning of Codependent...it was helpful for me...just wanted to share....og Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissi...	oldergal	5	421	Dec 17, 2013 by neshema2
	Having trouble with my son (Preview) Hi everyone, I have to go to work today. I am going to do my best to attend the Monday morning meeting. For those of you who know me, please send me a PM. I am having some weird stuff going on with my son coming home from college. I really need some support today. Thanks Robinks	mercedes1959	7	450	Dec 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	C2C (Preview) I opened my C2C this morning to read yesterdays reading but I first opened to August 31st. I think HP wanted me to read it today..... I have often tried to change other people to suit my own desires. I knew what I needed, and if those needs weren't met, the problem was with the other person. I was lookin...	Cathyinaz	5	421	Dec 17, 2013 by el-cee
	AD Doesn't Want to Meet with Me Over the Holidays (Preview) So I was just informed by my AD's twin sister, that my AD does not want to accept my invitation to meet with me (and her twin sister) for dinner over the holidays. I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, but it still hurts so much. I still don't know what her issues are with me. If I did, it would be easier for me...	Green Eyes	9	507	Dec 17, 2013 by mercedes1959
	The EGO and being called JUDGEMENTAL - ANY TAKERS? (Preview) I spent the weekend with my ABF after not seeing him or hearing from him for a week. He came over with flowers, shoveled out my extensive driveway, took me to dinner, movies, etc. Last night, we went to the market together, and got ingredients to make his fav meal. As I was cooking, he said he was going to ru...	breamanic665	9	2870	Dec 17, 2013 by abbyal
	LIFE W/O FAMILY ON THE HOLIDAY... (Preview) UNLESS I AM IN FOR A SURPRISE: I AM SPENDING TIME W/O MY FAMILY THIS YEAR. I AM FEELING THAT I WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME W/ STRANGERS THAN W/ THEM. THEY AREN'T REALLY THERE FOR ME ALL YEAR SO WHY SHOULD I CALL THEM, SEND CARDS OR GIFTS THIS YEAR? I HAVE BETTER FISH TO FRY & FRIENDS TO SPEND TIME W/. LAST YEAR I...	Hoot Nanny	2	333	Dec 17, 2013 by Tricia911
	Your Children (Preview) This has been posted before and is worth posting again....Kahlil GibranOn Children And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children." And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. Th...	oldergal	7	441	Dec 17, 2013 by Tricia911
	A daughter sounded less rational (Preview) My daughter has been contacting us more frequently, wanting to talk...and talk....jumping from topic to topic, and unable to listen when we talk. This goes on for a day or so and then we hear nothing for a few days. She can hardly process what we say and we cannot follow her train of thought. She is both...	lgnutah	8	546	Dec 17, 2013 by neshema2
	Time??trust?! (Preview) Does anyone ever build trust back with an ah? He's in his own treatment (funny to even at that... I know that's not possible) I look back and have been in same place last 6 Christmas' God is so against divorce. My ah will not seperate (why would he?) it puts it on me to file and make him leave. But I've got p...	sweeetr	13	670	Dec 16, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	relationship with a recovering alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone! I am new to this and really contemplated whether or not I should be posting based on my current situation, but I figured it wouldnt hurt to get advice. I am looking for advice from anyone who has or had experience with recovering alcoholics. I wrote a great deal about my background and why I a...	Jessp98559	7	849	Dec 16, 2013 by Tasha
	I Vented BIG TIME TO MY SON (Preview) His father was coming down to visit and give him a gift for Christmas. Can't get a hold of him. I called his phone.....he's bombed out of his mind on something. I'M DONE and I hung up and text him so when he's sober he will read it because he won't remember the phone call I'm sure. I was not nice.... I told...	Cathyinaz	10	561	Dec 16, 2013 by pinkchip
	Day 3... (Preview) Well it's been 3 days now that I have no idea what is happening with my son. Today I again did not go to work. I am so depressed!!! It's really hurting.. BUT I believe he is coherent enough to know what he is doing. His baby's m calls me yesterday to ask me what is going on?? I really have no reason to talk to her b...	Gaby	4	518	Dec 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	Need some hugs or something (Preview) Hi, I think after four conversations where A ranted and raved at me we are broken up. I think I am okay, his last words were I want to make.sure we have this crystal clear, f you. So I am going back to sleep, nothing I can do right now I hung up on him several times, but just need some warm hugs. Sorry I know that...	mm830	14	517	Dec 16, 2013 by Hoot Nanny
	Anti-alcohol. Another choice? (Preview) I quit drinking almost 2 years ago, and my husband and most of my friends drink (often heavily). I am at the point where I don't want continue to host gatherings where I know my husband and our friends will drink a lot. I also am seeing that alcohol is coming between my husband and I. For us to be intimate, I k...	irukan	9	582	Dec 16, 2013 by abbyalana
	What a lovely time of the year this is!!!! (Preview) My daughter is staying with her Dad at the moment and I asked her if she was coming to mine for Christmas dinner. Well she seemed unsure and she asked me if I would ask her Dad because he was going to be on his own and of course she would feel awkward leaving. So, due to the fact that we had spent some time togeth...	el-cee	9	505	Dec 16, 2013 by neshema2
	View of addiction from the inside (Preview) I came across an account of what it's like to be addicted, written by a doctor who is/was addicted to morphine. I always couldn't help but wonder, "Why does the A not think of his impact on us? Doesn't he see what's going on? Why does he lie like that? Does he even know he's lying?" This pie...	Mattie	8	559	Dec 16, 2013 by breamanic665
	Feeling Overwhelmed/lost (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I need help. I am feeling very overwhelmed right now. I am lost. I have no direction. As an ACOA, I have never had any proper direction. I don't know what I am doing. I feel I am to far gone to have a prosperous, happy future. I am overext...	slogan_jim	12	777	Dec 16, 2013 by mercedes1959
	How I am drowning myself (Preview) Forgive me for throwing myself back into the ocean to drown myself. He has moved out all his stuff except for whats in the garage. I need the rest gone. I am losing my home because I can't afford the bills on my own. I have to be out by the 30th. After he lost this last job, he sought sobriety treatment, and de...	breamanic665	3	563	Dec 16, 2013 by breamanic665
	LOL! I feel like I need to post daily these days! (Preview) I was sitting here feeling frustrated, as usual. AH and I had a nasty conversation the other day about this whole house buying thing. Finally I told him that I'd be the one to move out and I will rent because there was not way in he** I was going to sign any papers to take on a second mortgage with him. He ma...	ilovedogs	13	482	Dec 16, 2013 by el-cee
	Awareness-Acceptance-Action...and Coping with Withdrawal from the A (Preview) So our love is gone, our dreams are gone, our pregnancy is gone. I think I have never felt that lonely and hurt before...my self-worth too is at the bottom after all the accusations and name calling. I have done so many mistakes in the past months.... when I once thought i found my way to deal with life and b...	tortuga	5	920	Dec 16, 2013 by tortuga
	I felt the support (Preview) Thank you to everyone who sent out a prayer to me or sent me positive energy. Last night was the first night in two weeks that I slept through the night! This is such a difficult time for me and just having the power of those prayers was enough to restore my faith. xoxoxooxox	Corgi2	4	306	Dec 15, 2013 by PP
	My son is MIA!!! It hurts.. (Preview) I need support all the support I can have.. I go to my meetings .. I go to AA meetings to understand the disease.. I get on line to share. I keep in contact with my Sponser.. I just need more support. I feel alone when I know I am not.. The last I seen my son was Friday around 2pm.. I extended myself again to get hi...	Gaby	14	550	Dec 15, 2013 by oldergal
	Talking to the A's mum (Preview) Answered the phone. I knew it was her. When the phone rings and it is her, my whole body sort of slumps and I have to take a few moments to consider...do I really want to do this? Do I have enough to give today? Don't get me wrong. I care about A's mum. She has a loving heart and, unlike any other "mother in...	Melly1248	18	631	Dec 15, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	Super Saturday Al-Anon Christmas Party. (Preview) If anyone ever tries to tell me that we can't have fun when we want to I'm gonna tell them to "keep coming back". The meeting topic was Attitude which I will always show up for and then it was over and the food came out and then the "secret" by number gift exhange/swap and we got kno...	Jerry F	6	537	Dec 15, 2013 by hotrod
	Oh no!!! Hes at it again (Preview) I am at work...EVERYONE knows NOT to call me unless it is emergency.....My A brother (my close one) knows my days bc I tell him ea. Sunday, "these are my days....NO calls" I am on my boss's computer working on the G/L making sure accounts are "ok" and no adjustments needed and phon...	neshema2	6	489	Dec 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	Another cycle (Preview) Good Morning all The son is on another cycle of drinking or drugs so will this time when he either gets hurt or comes down hard and he starts calling will I stay on my side of the street this time. Last time was my mistake of going to the hospital when I really didn't need to. This is like starting again for t...	Cathyinaz	5	393	Dec 15, 2013 by hotrod
	every day is not rosey (Preview) So, every day is not rosey. I guess today could be one of those days if I let it. I am really just beginning my day. Time is going so fast that it is almost scary & hard to bear. But, in recovery we take it a day at a time. I am not an expert at anything but there are some things I do well. I am searching for more b...	Hoot Nanny	4	386	Dec 15, 2013 by Melly1248
	Asking for prayers.... (Preview) Hi everyone....I am asking for some positive thoughts/prayers to be sent my way because I can't stop beating myself up. I am harder on myself than anyone else in my life. I am especially being hard on myself because I am very vulnerable right now as I go through a break up and an old qualifier is trying to w...	Corgi2	6	359	Dec 15, 2013 by mm830
	My husband died (Preview) For you that have read my past posts. My worst nightmare came true. My husband (34 years old) died suddenly in front of me on November 5th, 2013. I tried saving him & then the ambulance didn't make it in time. I had already called the ambulance earlier in the night when he started feeling really b...	swood31	33	1171	Dec 15, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Not In Control And So Sad (Preview) My son is coming up on 1 year clean and sober. I am suspecting an alcohol relapse. His behavior mimics old behavior. I detected a smell of what may be alcohol, and today his hands shook uncontrollably for several seconds. Ii know I am powerless, but I am filled with fear that it will escalate. He is on prob...	Dotty2	9	636	Dec 15, 2013 by afglin
	This is a horrible feeling... (Preview) So my son left the SLE HOME yesterday morning.. I again went out to look for him why ?? Because I just can't seem to let go.. Yes I found him parked in front of a pond shop.. I pulled in asking I want the car back n he can live his life.. He said NO!! I told him your addiction is out of control he agrees then I said I'...	Gaby	8	552	Dec 15, 2013 by el-cee
	Waiting for God to reveal more (Preview) The place I'm at now is strange. I feel pretty good but I don't know where God wants me. i mean, I kind of do but I kind of really don't know at all. I'm an Adult Child, Alanon AND an Alcoholic. I fit in everywhere but nowhere. It's weird. one thing I am experiencing is that I am at Step 1 in Alanon. I've been real...	WorkingThroughIt	6	596	Dec 14, 2013 by Jerry F
	Thanks, neighbour! (Preview) Dear crazy neighbour. Thank-you for your unbelievably rude (and lengthy) note in my mailbox yesterday, and for the time you took to collect your patronising collection of pamphlets about "responsible pet ownership". I've never met you but I'm told that you are very advanced in age and p...	Melly1248	18	577	Dec 14, 2013 by sadsusie
	A look back on my week and when I did and did not use my Al-Anon principles! (Preview) What a very long week I have had. I allowed myself to become enmeshed in yet another situation that was not mine to take on. But, somehow I ended up smack in the middle of. Tues at 9AM a neighbor called and said the Sheriff was on the way to evict her. Not a huge surprise to me, she had not paid her mortgage in tw...	Tricia911	6	493	Dec 14, 2013 by el-cee
	My strategy for surviving the holidays. (Preview) A humble strategy to survive holiday gatherings. (1) Begin by considering what you have, as not the absolute worst thing to have. At least there is something to complain about when we have family.Think of children who survived the Holocaust who have no memories of their parents, or very few left...	Tricia911	3	1119	Dec 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Again!!! My son is out there again.. (Preview) He left the SLE HOUSE.. He is out there trying to get his next fix.. God is by me.. I feel the strength. I have done all I can do. All I can do now is pray !!! But I am so worried. I need peace !!	Gaby	12	613	Dec 14, 2013 by PP
	some Alanon/ACOA sayings....swiped from houstonacas.com... (Preview) MORE HELPFUL ACA/Al-Anon SAYINGSIf you've been around 12 Step programs at all,*you've heard at least one of these.Here's just a SMALL list of some of the sayingsyou'll hear around the "rooms."* "When you're home by yourself you're behind enemy lines." "If you share you...	neshema2	9	739	Dec 14, 2013 by Tricia911
	HMMM....what do you buy an alcoholic/addict for Christmas (Preview) If you buy a nice gift they will sell it, if you give them money they will drink it....funny, but not funny, I am stumped... og A nice dinner is what seems to come to my mind....	oldergal	15	758	Dec 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	quote (Preview) Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want!	Hoot Nanny	4	275	Dec 14, 2013 by milkwood
	Replacing bad memories with new Good memories... (Preview) Came on here and looked up old post because I am so thankful, I no longer have that turning in my gut.. the constant pain that comes with allowing an Alcoholic room in my mind or heart... that feeling I was addicted to like an emotional cutter.... About two years ago.. I literally felt like it was death...	glad	7	672	Dec 14, 2013 by kn1228
	Extra prayers please (Preview) Dear friends Today is an important day for my A husband. He has an important meeting that could go very well or very poorly. He is so much better than he was one year ago, but the demons are still there. I am also much much healthier, but I still am worrying today about the "what ifs". What if he...	ParisMemories	10	374	Dec 14, 2013 by kn1228
	trying to send some holiday cheer... (Preview) I can't seem to get the nerve or whatever motivation maybe to get some cards sent out to my friends & loved ones this year. I feel like I am always doing this & sometimes getting anxious & even frustrated w/ the whole process. I am doing things anonymously this year though. I am not going to to...	Hoot Nanny	6	387	Dec 14, 2013 by mm830
	OT: doc found a mass (Preview) I just got back from my annual well woman visit. The doc found a mass under my right arm, in the armpit area next to my breast. She said it felt fluid filled, which I'm hoping is a good sign that it's not cancer. She wants me to get an ultrasound and a mammogram. I am already frustrated with insurance iss...	ilovedogs	22	760	Dec 14, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Update on me (Preview) Things are crazy with finals next week Monday and Wednesday for my last 2 classes, I have passed and am done with the other 2 this week and passed them with A's, but the next 2 are the harder ones for sure. I need all the prayers and good thoughts my MIP family can muster. I have to score pretty good on Mondays...	Breakingfree	6	372	Dec 13, 2013 by grateful2be
	Should I feel guilty about this? (Preview) I have been dealing with an alcoholic Aunt (half Aunt) since I was a child; (I am now 52) and she is 56. She has been in and out of treatment too many times to count, and was sober for almost 8 years and started drinking again about a year ago. She has not been able to hold down a job and has depended on the fam...	BeeBee	8	631	Dec 13, 2013 by Tricia911
	Working through the holidays-Upsetting:( (Preview) So yeah, it takes a lot of work for me to enjoy this season, especially the past decade plus... My parents and only sibling are gone, and I have very little contact with my older sons, and none with my daughter. Long story short, bad bad divorce and aftermath. So this year, my 2 oldest sons are without vehi...	Raven Juniper	4	677	Dec 13, 2013 by Tricia911
	Obsession & Control (Preview) Any advice out there as to how people deal with their obsession and control? Can't seem to turn off my brain sometimes and just give it to my higher power. Any tools or coping mechanisms people have learned? Corgi	Corgi2	11	631	Dec 13, 2013 by Cathyinaz
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.