The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been lurking on here for a few days. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic who's been sober for 6 years. Al anon has been recommended to me several times but I always felt like I couldn't devote any more of my physical or emotional energy to "His" disease. I still have so much resentment especially because he never made amends to me. I've brought it up several times but have been invalidated. Hoping al anon can help me and hoping to hear from those of you with similar experience and how al anon helped you.
Welcome decgirl! Absolutely there is so much support, experience, sharing and hope that you will find here. It has made a wonderful and positive difference in my life and many others. Keep coming back!
Hi. Al-Anon helps us. We learn to keep the focus on ourselves and not on our loved ones. We don't devote our physical or emotional energy to "his" disease. That's why we end up in Al-Anon in the first place. Because we devoted our physical and emotional energy to him and to his disease. We learn how to devote energy to ourselves with the help of others who understand this disease and how we are affected by it. I'm glad you've listened to the recommendations and are planning on following through in Al-Anon. We suggest face to face meetings in your area, getting the literature, and trying at least 6 different meetings before deciding if Al-Anon is right for you. Most of us don't walk through the doors of a meeting until we've had enough pain to last a lifetime. We go for us and not for the Alcoholic - recovering or not. We have also been affected by this disease and we also need help to recover from the anger, frustration, bitterness and resentments that we carry. Please keep coming back here, too.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Thursday 5th of December 2013 09:30:14 PM
Aloha decgirl and welcome to the board...nice to stop lurking and get involved...join the family!! The resentment you harbor likely is stopping you from doing anything "suggested" regarding the disease of alcoholism. Al-Anon can handle the resentments problem also. I carried a ton of resentments against my alcoholic/addict wife and though I did attend a few meetings before making a commitment to my own peace of mind and serenity, I pretty well destroyed the peace of the meeting with my anger, resentments and unwillingness to just sit and listen. Sooooo I left and many months later went back sicker than ever. When I finally got it to the program for real I was done and didn't move under my own power. I followed the suggestions given to me by the old timers, one of which was to do 90 meetings in 90 days and since there were over 439 meetings a month in the area I lived in (combined AA and Al-Anon) I did that and then decided to stay. 3 months of meetings was nothing compared to the amount of years I had lived in the disease and I'm glad I kept coming back over and over. When I got into the program there were very few men in the groups and so it was the women of Al-Anon that saved my butt for me. The women of Al-Anon are beyond special for me and always will be.
Welcome to the board. No doubt you know where the Al-Anon meetings are in your area. Go early, get your chair, sit down and listen with an open mind, learn and then duplicate that the very next time you can. Get the literature and phone numbers and find a trash can for your resentments and anger. Keep coming back here also. ((((hugs))))
YES Al-Anon saved my life, my sanity, my children, and also ended up saving my marriage:)
My husband and I are on this journey TOGETHER but the only way that happens is for him to be a member of AA & I to be a very grateful and blessed member of Al-Anon! My going to Al-Anon has nothing to do with my husband today! It has everything to do with me, my life is beyond my wildest dreams today because of the time I have been willing to put into me in Al-Anon with my sponsor, working the 12 steps, reading the daily literature, helping newcomers, making phone calls, going to conventions, going to program peoples (which I choose to call MY FAMILY OF CHOICE) childrens functions, picnics, speaker meetings,I could go on & on to what Al-Anon has given me!! It will you has well as soon as you choose to BE WILLING TO GO TO ANY LENGTHS as stated in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:) I am grateful I am willing:) Hugs to you
Al-anon has saved me from a string of miserable days merely survived, to becoming an overcomer, excited to live and share the al-anon message. Life can be so much better with al-anon and serenity in it. Sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I've been lurking on here for a few days. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic who's been sober for 6 years. Al anon has been recommended to me several times but I always felt like I couldn't devote any more of my physical or emotional energy to "His" disease. I still have so much resentment especially because he never made amends to me. I've brought it up several times but have been invalidated. Hoping al anon can help me and hoping to hear from those of you with similar experience and how al anon helped you.
hello and welcome...alanon is for US...NOT them.....and i am glad u r done w/spending your valuable energy on "his" stuff.....as to the resentment....u had unrealistic expectations of someone who could not make those amends, he can't even take care of himself, so the expectations from someone who cannot or will not take responsbility bred the resentment.....i would give up any notions he is going to make amends, if he does one day?? bc he is working a strong program, then great....but a lot of them don't if they are not working a serious program....
alanon is for you...its your survival guide for life....whether you leave him or stay, alanon will show you how to live your life for you, with you and be healthier.....alanon is a survival guide for the non drinking spouse who wants the abundent, fullfilled life we are all deserving of...but...we have to reach out for that better life by working our program.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
