The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After my last post about the concerns I have regarding my husband's health, I realized something that made me really sad. We are probably not going to grow old together. We are probably not going to get to retire to Vancouver together. Some days i wonder if I'll be a widow by the time I'm 40. Despite the fact that he is drinking less, that he's trying to go out and live his own life, that he has made lots of progress after the past year, he still drinks too much. And it's probably going to kill him early. And I can't do anything except watch it happen.
I may be over-reacting, or be in the habit of thinking the worst about everything, or whatever. But I'm pretty sure that unless something drastic happens this is the course of our life. Yay.
Hi. I have known several people who appeared to be dying right before my eyes of alcoholism or drug addiction. They appeared to be just a week, or a month, or a year from the grave. I was wrong. I couldn't predict what that person and their HP would do. There have been others I have known appearing to be in the peak of good health, young, life stretching out promising before them. They died suddenly. I just didn't know what I just didn't know. Remembering that all I truly have is today and all someone I love has is today is a way for me to live my life to its fullest and leave the future in God's hands.
Acceptance of Life on Life's terms means that I accept that "Death is a part of life. No one knows what the future will bring and that is why alanon strongly suggests the we live one day at a time.
For me this means that I leave the past in the past and the future in the future and live this one day with courage, serenity and wisdom.
I love the quote that states "If I knew the world would end tomorrow I would still plant a tree today."
Sometimes I worry that my AH and I will grow old together!
Anyway, these are just thoughts and thankfully not a reality that we have to believe in if we don't want to.
I love Hotrod's quote and I hope that you get to plant a tree today ((((hugs))))
I hear fear in your share it reminds me of how my brain placed tricks on me.
The what ifs used to have me paralized I never imagined that things could change for the better. It was as if I thought of the worst and accepted it then I could prepare. 15months ago my partner looked so ill, he was mentally in a really bad place he was living in the woods for a bit and I thought it would be inevitable that he would die or take his own life. I prayed and prayed and handed him over. I kept the focus on my recovery went to lots of meetings faced my fear head on using my al anon tools the phone my books, worked my steps slowly I trusted hp.
well all my what ifs were wrong today my partner has been sober for 15 months, we are engaged to be married, he holds a full time job, I have found myself have my own life and a beautiful relationship with my Hp.
I also have an alcoholic uncle who my mother has feared will die and detached herself completly from him years ago he is 72 now still drinking but still here!!!
Thank you, as always for kind words and support. One day at a time is a good idea.
It's funny how I've been mulling this over for most of the day, but lots of really crappy dominoes falling over through the course of the day and I'm all, 'Yeah, why don't you just gtfo of my life.' Of course, once we both have a chance to simmer down and breath things will probably be ok. Some nights you just need to let it all go.
We truly don't know what life will bring. Keep working Alanon and continue to move out from under the cloak of the disease where you will notice more choices.
