Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bethinks · bethinks

Hi! My 71 year old Mom has been married to her 70 year old husband for 11 years. During this 11 years she has kicked him out 4 different times, each time telling my sister and I that she is done with his drinking. Two times she has kicked him out were after 2 very serious health issues, when he would never b...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Does anyone have experience with custody issues when the alcoholic hasn't had any public consequences (DUI, etc). we have two young children, one just a few months old, I can't trust him now with the kids and am scared joint custody will be enforced. With no "proof" it would be just my word...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't mean to be this way but I feel so sick I feel like I am going to puke! I ate some molasses straight up & ended up getting sick. I take it for arthritis. It seems to help but is it possible that I got a bad bottle? I am trying everything to get rid of the feeling that I have acid reflux or something! I may...

Sooverit · Sooverit

I am looking for any shred of hope that my husband can stop. I have gotten the wheels in motion to kick him out but i wonder if there's any chance in hell he will really stop this time. Tomorrow is my birthday, he asked what I wanted. I want him to stop drinking and get help. He said he wouldn't ask me for someth...

Debilyn · Debilyn

"To believe you will never make a mistake is arrogant." Star Trek NG Oh I learn the neatest things on my "therapy" shows! I thought about this one, how so many on here are always disappointed when they they made a mistake. I don't care one bit. I mean, I am not perfect, does not say an...

mrspengiun74 · mrspengiun74

My husband has been sober for 8mths, but I am scared I will ruin it with my doubts and fear. Every time I realised I am truly happy I fear the worse and accuse him of drinking. I just don't believe I deserve to happy.. I know this is my issue but not sure how to overcome it...Any one else experienced this, ho...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all went to open Aa meeting tonight with my Sober ABf, this meeting is open at the end of every month, I like this meeting because lots of al anon memebers attend and it is like we share OUR ESH from both sides of the fence. they have an al anon share and then AA. When it goes to the floor for sharing everyo...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Thus far, mother (who isn't feeling great) has been in a pretty awful mood, and it's my turn to be scapegoat. I had forgotten what it's like; it hasn't been my turn to be scapegoat for ages. No matter what i say or do, she sighs and huffs and acts as though my presence is the most trying experience of her life...

bijela · bijela

Just when I think I am rid of this stupid stoner alcoholic exboyfriend, he texts me again. The problem is that I can't go get a restraining order because he hasn't threatened me. He told me that he still loves me and he has a new job now. Of course I didn't respond to it. I just put this new number of his in the...

anm722 · anm722

I have been to a total of 3 meetings on here and I really enjoy them. I want to apply some of the things I have picked up from the advice I have recieved but right now I am still a little angry. The things I am mainly angry about are that my husband doesnt really listen when I try to tell him what I am feeling. I to...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

It's bigger on the bottom! lol. Well, it's a bit sad but it gave us a lot of laughs. Gluten-free-edible-tardis-like-blob.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had asked earlier about seeing this movie and ALL I can say is it's a MUST see for ANYONE who loves the books or the movie Mary Poppins. I will never ever watch that movie the same way. Actually after the movie the kids and I watched Mary Poppins, I guess the movie as a child had always left me feeling...

tortuga · tortuga

After all I've walked through, and with all that I'm learning, and with all that i still need to learn, I am not sure today that I will ever be able and feel secure if I would choose to live with an A. Sure we are all lovely people and need to be loved, A's, co-dep's we are all fighting an addiction. So I wonder t...

Lyne · Lyne

I've had a medical decision to face this week~take one medicine to help a serious problem, but the side effects may cause some other horrible things. I had to asks myself, have I, or can I, really turn my will over to HP? I thought, this is a test and it really counts. I don't know what the F--- to do, both...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is one of the shortest posts I will ever do. I am falling behind in some things in my life. Money is there for sure to do the things I need to do. I just need to take the time. I am doing things that I should be doing. I am giving up things that I should be giving up these days. I want to donate more stuff to char...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Happy Birthday to you! I am glad you are here! Sending you love and support on your special day!

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My former AB celebrated being 5 years sober on Monday..tonight my dad and I went to his celebration meeting..the place was packed!! :) :) :) Words can't describe how proud of him I am!! I'm crying as I write this..it's remarkable to see how far he's come!! On the other hand, my AM didn't come because...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

Hello, I finally started reading Paths to Recovery...How do I do this? do I read it alone? with a sponsor? how do I get s sponser? there's one Al-Anon group I've been to and like for the most part... I want to do *something* about my recovery..reading One Day at a Time and this book I'm sure will be and a...

mm830 · mm830

I have had such a good week, thank you so much HP. It's been really full, doing errands for my grandmother post surgery and my teenage kiddo has been a grump. But what's so wonderful is I am applying some advice I read here, Debilyn posted something about asking herself what the loving thing to do is to hel...

Akavanagh · Akavanagh

Or is it just getting numb to it? If you read my first post, I'm completely new and just have so many unanswered questions. When you walk in the room, and your alcoholic has been drinking, do you ignore them? Do you talk to them? Do you act like nothing is wrong and everything is just dandy in order to maint...

vivalove · vivalove

Hi, my name is Jean and I am new to Al-Anon. I grew up in an alcoholic home (my father got sober when I was 12). For almost a year, and sometimes today, I failed to accept that this is my truth, because I am fearful that I am labeling it (my father) as good or bad (as a person) - when intellectually I know that it...

el-cee · el-cee

I am back to step 1, my life has became unmanageable. My son who has been great lately and has been staying with me, looking for somewhere but taking his time about it, was drinking in my house the other night. I got home from work and he had a shady looking pal in and they denied it but they were drinking. I to...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My heartfelt thanks goes out to Elizabeth Vargas of ABC's Good Morning America for going pubic today about her alcoholism and sharing that AA has played a great part in her recovery. Hopefully, her story will inspire others. You can Google her name to view her interview that is available online. GE

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Things are going better than I could have imagined considering what is going on. First off, I didn't have to go to court .. that is huge. STBAX was sentenced .. I'm relieved that part is over .. I got dealt an unexpected surprise that there is not a no contact order in the final order and I'm disturbed abo...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Thanks for all your prayers. I got half way to my destination and had to turn back. White out conditions on major highways with foolish drivers still going 60 when they couldn't see anything and didn't know when the next snow drift was coming. I had talked with my Dad after learning where he'd be toda...

Stuckhere · Stuckhere

My husband is fixing to get out of Rehab at the Right Step Treatment Facility. He has not spoke to me untill last week to tell me that he will be coming home soon. That's literally all he said. Then 30 Sec to tell me to pick him up Tues at 11:30. During that 30 sec I some how convinced him to let me come to the last...

breamanic665 · breamanic665

Usually when I post i have a general direction to go with my posts. I will apologize that I am now venting only. I have to. I have to get this out of me and I wish there was something else to help cope. Im not able to get to meetings due to vehicle issues, but I do start therapy first thing on monday and im gratefu...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All I have a little story to tell. I have been playing Words with Friends with my son for a few years now. When he was playing actively I would know he was OK, when he stopped playing I would know he was drinking. Like clock work he would again play after about 4 days. Well, he stopped pla...

Katytexasmom · Katytexasmom

My son left treatment after 2 weeks. He's been white knuckling his 'sobriety'. He's been great to talk to and even helped us move this weekend. He's been discouraged about his job search....his misdomeaner possession charge keeps getting in the way. He wanted to go back to his dads, so we dropped him...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

We sometimes get a lot of newcomers to these boards and I wanted to start a conversation about how to take the focus off of the alcoholic/addict and put the focus where we need it to be(usually us and/or our children). Many times the question comes up and we all know hard it is to take our eyes off the quali...

Lyne · Lyne

Hello-Well yesterday morning my A asked me one question and in a nano-second I was back to my old self, pre-alanon brain. We had a very unpleasant talk, not a fight really, and both set out for our days in a less than pleasant mood. I stayed angry all day yesterday. Doesn't she remember the drinking, t...

maryf · maryf

My boyfriend just went into a rehab facility a week ago. I was allowed to visit him the first weekend after he entered and did. It seemed to go well. His family thinks that I shouldn't go every weekend because he needs to work on his sobriety. He needs to miss me and his family. They don't intend to go....

Milehi-tlc · Milehi-tlc

Something recently dropped at my feet that I am struggling with. Im not sure exactly if this is an alanon question but most of my life decisions are centered on working my program so here goes......I discovered my best friends SO has a dating profile on a dating website. They have been living togethe...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Heading away tomorrow morning for 4 days with family. Daughter's birthday on Saturday and we will celebrate it far away with my parents, aunt and cousins at my parent's beach-house. Daughter wants a Doctor Who cake so somehow on Saturday we will all pitch in and make an edible tardis. I will not get su...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

ok .. so maybe not an ulcer but a knot in the pit of my stomach, definitely .. feeling sick tonight and just needed to put it out here .. i have a situation that i absolutely can't change .. i can't even accept that i can't change it .. it seems like it should be so easy to do and yet it is so hard .. i am certain i nee...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I havent been on in awhile.. I have had this peace and realization of letting go and realized how much happier I am without my AH. I had atty drawing up seperation of property and lives etc.... and then his dad past away unexpectidly. WELL .... we all know what an active A does when something like this happ...

maryanne · maryanne

Just wanted to ask what is the first step in dealing with folks in our lives that keep putting us down. I have a problem of not answering back when someone is nasty to me. I don't like to confront any one on bad behavior. How do we know when is the time to be silent and when is the time to speak up. I don't like...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well, it won't fix everything however it's a good start thank you God! I have been out of work since November and it has been scary is putting it mildly. I was validated in ways I wasn't expecting. I knew that there were some things brewing at the temp job I had worked .. I received a call last month about...

anm722 · anm722

I absolutely HATE my husband for what he is putting me through. He just called from rehab because I needed to ask him a quick question and he sounds so normal and care free, while I'm out here in the real world feeling lost hopeless confused and angry. I hate this.

Lyne · Lyne

Yes, it's time to make some confessions. It is only now I can see the forest from the trees! Going back a few years, I need to share about some of the things I did in my futile attempt to cope with my A. I bought alcohol test strips that work from saliva. I snuck and looked at A's schedule to see when it look...

a new member.... · maryanne

I am so glad I found this place. I don't drive, and there are no meetings near when I live. I am so sad most of the time. I hurt. What I have been reading, has helped me a lot. Thanks for listening.

el-cee · el-cee

Ive been thinking about my progress and how ive been reacting most of the time lately and I think I have come up with a couple of answers, maybe. I think im too scared to fully live what im learning in alanon. when I connect with my higher power, let go of my own will and trust in the wisdom I have a good day. The...

Miamamamia · Miamamamia

How do I know ? Is my husband affected by the disease ? What are the signs ? Is it a dependency or is it alcoholic ? How much more can one take is it okay to walk away ? How can I make him see how can I help him change his ways ? He's not physically abusive, mentally i take my fair share daily, sometimes worst but nev...

mongowal · mongowal

AH has finally decided - He wants a divorce. He says his feelings of love for me are coming back but they will never be the same as the day he married me. Tried numerous times to blame mr for the the demise of our relationship (all of which are either completely irrational or completely false). For th...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Man. After coming here and sharing and making progress and everything I have tried to do, I feel like I am right back where I started. I have so much anger, and it reared its head today. I yelled at my husband. Twice. Full-on, top volume, roaring yell. I just got so sick of it. Everything is so awful, nothi...

anm722 · anm722

Hello all. I am a 27 year old female married with 3 kids. My husband and I have been together 11 years married 7. In the past 7 years my husband has been in and out of prison for different things. In the past 3 years I have found out that my husband had been doing heroin while we were seperated. After finding t...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

It disgusts me when people come off so selfish and unable to see beyond their own noses. And well I first found in in my addict Mother, everything too was about what she wanted, when, how and you better make it work out with all your might or be prepared! My exAH never once hit me, he got close and broke every...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

So careful to maneuver through the person that suffers from alcoholism. Even in the attempt to remain sober. I caught myself this time. I said NO! Not this time. I will not allow my recovery slide back not one single step this time! You may have the man I love still in your grips but I will not be yours toda...

grateful2be · grateful2be

My brother called me to let me know my 85 year old Dad has been hospitalized. I called my Dad who is usually concerned about me being on winter roads. I also know when he says, "Are you coming in?," he wants me there. He wants me to wait until Sunday since in his words: "It's too late now...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Car finally went to the mechanic today. Now I am no expert on cars by any means but i know a thing or 2, and I have told ABwhatever he is that the car sounds like it needs a new coil, which i had a spare one of, maybe some new ignition leads and that he could probably fix it himself for like $40. I even emailed him a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, what I am trying to say right now is that nothing really has changed lately but my outlook has changed. I am still in the grips of this disease daily I just know that I can overcome the trials & tribulations that go along w/ it. I guess I can say I am an overcomer even if it is just an affirmation. I am a l...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I heard a lady share in a meeting the other night that she had tried to "help" a friend by giving advice and the friend said she had to hang up the phone and would call right back...the lady's friend never called back. the lady went on to say she then decided she'd call the friend herself but the f...

OnMySignal · OnMySignal

As mentioned, this is my first time to post anything. I have an AW that I love very much who is sober 55 weeks now, and we are having some problems. We have been married 21 years and have had a wonderful marriage in all aspects, but the disease got to be too much and she got help a year and half ago. Here we are ov...

LWI · LWI

I have no clue if this is the right forum to just post something like this, but I really need some words of support/advice. New member as of 3 minutes ago. I am actually an alcoholic myself. This might not sound like acceptable rational to some, but the reason I am writing is that my fiance (boyfriend of 18...

John · John

When I first heard that the best way to help an alcoholic was to focus on myself, I thought Al-Anon was a heartless place where I would be forced to stop caring about my loved ones. I had decided never to return, but someone shared a thought that changed my mind. He said that although the desire to help anot...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This where I got my avatar picture we were wandering around OMGosh .. I thought the kids would kill me because we wound up in a brush of burrs .. LOL!

lenii263 · lenii263

I am 74 and still worrying about daughter who is 47 and has drank since she was 13. She has a S.O.(many relationships and 2 marriages) who supports and enables her, and has never asked for anything. It is just that I see she is dying, so thin now and looks awful. Her insides are so messed up she can't keep foo...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm so grateful for the Alanon program that has taught me some very basic lessons, .. lessons I didn't learn during my childhood because they just weren't available to me. This too shall pass .. (the AA version) like a kidney stone .. however it will pass. :) One door closes and another opens .. in the me...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I haven't heard from my mom today, however the reality is and it just dawned on me I won't "hear" from her, the entry point of surgery went through the front of her throat. She was suppose to be in the hospital for 3 days so we'll see .. I guess I figure no news is good news and knowing my mom .. lol ....

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Wow, my AH finally chose to go to rehab and now thinks he will do fine so he wants out early....lots of complaints about food, smoking, etc. etc.......I said that actions speak louder than words and that if he said he would do 30 days of inpatient , but leaves early.... than his actions show that he can't k...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How to handle my Mom when she takes her drunk husband back for the fourth time. (Preview) Hi! My 71 year old Mom has been married to her 70 year old husband for 11 years. During this 11 years she has kicked him out 4 different times, each time telling my sister and I that she is done with his drinking. Two times she has kicked him out were after 2 very serious health issues, when he would never b...	bethinks	8	499	Jan 28, 2014 by kerthinks
	Sharing custody with AH.... (Preview) Does anyone have experience with custody issues when the alcoholic hasn't had any public consequences (DUI, etc). we have two young children, one just a few months old, I can't trust him now with the kids and am scared joint custody will be enforced. With no "proof" it would be just my word...	Kerrymom	6	442	Jan 28, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	bad molasses; sick to my stomach; will it last? (Preview) I don't mean to be this way but I feel so sick I feel like I am going to puke! I ate some molasses straight up & ended up getting sick. I take it for arthritis. It seems to help but is it possible that I got a bad bottle? I am trying everything to get rid of the feeling that I have acid reflux or something! I may...	Hoot Nanny	4	1640	Jan 27, 2014 by Miamamamia
	Does anyone ever get better? (Preview) I am looking for any shred of hope that my husband can stop. I have gotten the wheels in motion to kick him out but i wonder if there's any chance in hell he will really stop this time. Tomorrow is my birthday, he asked what I wanted. I want him to stop drinking and get help. He said he wouldn't ask me for someth...	Sooverit	15	708	Jan 27, 2014 by imom
	Are you afraid to make a mistake? (Preview) "To believe you will never make a mistake is arrogant." Star Trek NG Oh I learn the neatest things on my "therapy" shows! I thought about this one, how so many on here are always disappointed when they they made a mistake. I don't care one bit. I mean, I am not perfect, does not say an...	Debilyn	10	706	Jan 27, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	Happy days being ruined by fear husband may drink again.. HELP (Preview) My husband has been sober for 8mths, but I am scared I will ruin it with my doubts and fear. Every time I realised I am truly happy I fear the worse and accuse him of drinking. I just don't believe I deserve to happy.. I know this is my issue but not sure how to overcome it...Any one else experienced this, ho...	mrspengiun74	11	426	Jan 27, 2014 by el-cee
	both sides of the fence. (Preview) Hi all went to open Aa meeting tonight with my Sober ABf, this meeting is open at the end of every month, I like this meeting because lots of al anon memebers attend and it is like we share OUR ESH from both sides of the fence. they have an al anon share and then AA. When it goes to the floor for sharing everyo...	Tracy	3	235	Jan 27, 2014 by DavidG
	Really? (Preview) Thus far, mother (who isn't feeling great) has been in a pretty awful mood, and it's my turn to be scapegoat. I had forgotten what it's like; it hasn't been my turn to be scapegoat for ages. No matter what i say or do, she sighs and huffs and acts as though my presence is the most trying experience of her life...	Melly1248	15	516	Jan 26, 2014 by Breakingfree
	He is still contacting me even after two months of breaking it off with him and being told not to contact me. (Preview) Just when I think I am rid of this stupid stoner alcoholic exboyfriend, he texts me again. The problem is that I can't go get a restraining order because he hasn't threatened me. He told me that he still loves me and he has a new job now. Of course I didn't respond to it. I just put this new number of his in the...	bijela	8	463	Jan 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	Please help!!!! (Preview) I have been to a total of 3 meetings on here and I really enjoy them. I want to apply some of the things I have picked up from the advice I have recieved but right now I am still a little angry. The things I am mainly angry about are that my husband doesnt really listen when I try to tell him what I am feeling. I to...	anm722	7	442	Jan 26, 2014 by Clear4
	lol, as promised :-) (Preview) It's bigger on the bottom! lol. Well, it's a bit sad but it gave us a lot of laughs. Gluten-free-edible-tardis-like-blob.	Melly1248	33	677	Jan 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	Saving Mr Banks (Update) :) (Preview) I had asked earlier about seeing this movie and ALL I can say is it's a MUST see for ANYONE who loves the books or the movie Mary Poppins. I will never ever watch that movie the same way. Actually after the movie the kids and I watched Mary Poppins, I guess the movie as a child had always left me feeling...	SerenityRUS	14	867	Jan 26, 2014 by hotrod
	how do you know which way to walk if you don't know where you want to end up? (Preview) After all I've walked through, and with all that I'm learning, and with all that i still need to learn, I am not sure today that I will ever be able and feel secure if I would choose to live with an A. Sure we are all lovely people and need to be loved, A's, co-dep's we are all fighting an addiction. So I wonder t...	tortuga	5	411	Jan 26, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Back to Step 3 (Preview) I've had a medical decision to face this week~take one medicine to help a serious problem, but the side effects may cause some other horrible things. I had to asks myself, have I, or can I, really turn my will over to HP? I thought, this is a test and it really counts. I don't know what the F--- to do, both...	Lyne	4	269	Jan 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	I am falling behind...can I move forward? (Preview) This is one of the shortest posts I will ever do. I am falling behind in some things in my life. Money is there for sure to do the things I need to do. I just need to take the time. I am doing things that I should be doing. I am giving up things that I should be giving up these days. I want to donate more stuff to char...	Hoot Nanny	1	230	Jan 26, 2014 by DavidG
	Happy Birthday to DavidG (Preview) Happy Birthday to you! I am glad you are here! Sending you love and support on your special day!	Breakingfree	10	296	Jan 26, 2014 by Melly1248
	A celebration!! (Preview) My former AB celebrated being 5 years sober on Monday..tonight my dad and I went to his celebration meeting..the place was packed!! :) :) :) Words can't describe how proud of him I am!! I'm crying as I write this..it's remarkable to see how far he's come!! On the other hand, my AM didn't come because...	phoenixmagicgirl	9	380	Jan 26, 2014 by maryanne
	A question about getting a sponsor (Preview) Hello, I finally started reading Paths to Recovery...How do I do this? do I read it alone? with a sponsor? how do I get s sponser? there's one Al-Anon group I've been to and like for the most part... I want to do something about my recovery..reading One Day at a Time and this book I'm sure will be and a...	phoenixmagicgirl	3	325	Jan 26, 2014 by cwya
	Being more loving is terrific (Preview) I have had such a good week, thank you so much HP. It's been really full, doing errands for my grandmother post surgery and my teenage kiddo has been a grump. But what's so wonderful is I am applying some advice I read here, Debilyn posted something about asking herself what the loving thing to do is to hel...	mm830	2	338	Jan 25, 2014 by hotrod
	Do you ever truly get to the point where it doesnt bother you? (Preview) Or is it just getting numb to it? If you read my first post, I'm completely new and just have so many unanswered questions. When you walk in the room, and your alcoholic has been drinking, do you ignore them? Do you talk to them? Do you act like nothing is wrong and everything is just dandy in order to maint...	Akavanagh	13	619	Jan 25, 2014 by Debilyn
	So far, this seems to be exactly where I belong... (Preview) Hi, my name is Jean and I am new to Al-Anon. I grew up in an alcoholic home (my father got sober when I was 12). For almost a year, and sometimes today, I failed to accept that this is my truth, because I am fearful that I am labeling it (my father) as good or bad (as a person) - when intellectually I know that it...	vivalove	4	323	Jan 25, 2014 by Debilyn
	My life is unmanageable (Preview) I am back to step 1, my life has became unmanageable. My son who has been great lately and has been staying with me, looking for somewhere but taking his time about it, was drinking in my house the other night. I got home from work and he had a shady looking pal in and they denied it but they were drinking. I to...	el-cee	7	517	Jan 25, 2014 by grateful2be
	Thank You, Elizabeth Vargas (Preview) My heartfelt thanks goes out to Elizabeth Vargas of ABC's Good Morning America for going pubic today about her alcoholism and sharing that AA has played a great part in her recovery. Hopefully, her story will inspire others. You can Google her name to view her interview that is available online. GE	Green Eyes	2	351	Jan 25, 2014 by Debilyn
	Well .. lol .. (Preview) Things are going better than I could have imagined considering what is going on. First off, I didn't have to go to court .. that is huge. STBAX was sentenced .. I'm relieved that part is over .. I got dealt an unexpected surprise that there is not a no contact order in the final order and I'm disturbed abo...	SerenityRUS	6	442	Jan 25, 2014 by Debilyn
	Update on Dad and Road Travel (Preview) Thanks for all your prayers. I got half way to my destination and had to turn back. White out conditions on major highways with foolish drivers still going 60 when they couldn't see anything and didn't know when the next snow drift was coming. I had talked with my Dad after learning where he'd be toda...	grateful2be	38	613	Jan 25, 2014 by mercedes1959
	Anyone with experience with Family Group at Right Step Treatment Facility? Rehab Family Counseling (Preview) My husband is fixing to get out of Rehab at the Right Step Treatment Facility. He has not spoke to me untill last week to tell me that he will be coming home soon. That's literally all he said. Then 30 Sec to tell me to pick him up Tues at 11:30. During that 30 sec I some how convinced him to let me come to the last...	Stuckhere	3	333	Jan 24, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	now im the one that feels insane - looking for an e-pen pal sponser/supporter (Preview) Usually when I post i have a general direction to go with my posts. I will apologize that I am now venting only. I have to. I have to get this out of me and I wish there was something else to help cope. Im not able to get to meetings due to vehicle issues, but I do start therapy first thing on monday and im gratefu...	breamanic665	4	439	Jan 24, 2014 by MorningGlory
	Don't try and keep an eye on them (Preview) Good Morning All I have a little story to tell. I have been playing Words with Friends with my son for a few years now. When he was playing actively I would know he was OK, when he stopped playing I would know he was drinking. Like clock work he would again play after about 4 days. Well, he stopped pla...	Cathyinaz	9	528	Jan 24, 2014 by Rose50
	Another rough night!!! (Preview) My son left treatment after 2 weeks. He's been white knuckling his 'sobriety'. He's been great to talk to and even helped us move this weekend. He's been discouraged about his job search....his misdomeaner possession charge keeps getting in the way. He wanted to go back to his dads, so we dropped him...	Katytexasmom	13	474	Jan 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Focusing on the alcoholic (Preview) We sometimes get a lot of newcomers to these boards and I wanted to start a conversation about how to take the focus off of the alcoholic/addict and put the focus where we need it to be(usually us and/or our children). Many times the question comes up and we all know hard it is to take our eyes off the quali...	ilovedogs	9	475	Jan 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Got stuck in the quicksand but didn't go down! (Preview) Hello-Well yesterday morning my A asked me one question and in a nano-second I was back to my old self, pre-alanon brain. We had a very unpleasant talk, not a fight really, and both set out for our days in a less than pleasant mood. I stayed angry all day yesterday. Doesn't she remember the drinking, t...	Lyne	6	335	Jan 24, 2014 by el-cee
	Completely new with many questions (Preview) My boyfriend just went into a rehab facility a week ago. I was allowed to visit him the first weekend after he entered and did. It seemed to go well. His family thinks that I shouldn't go every weekend because he needs to work on his sobriety. He needs to miss me and his family. They don't intend to go....	maryf	12	420	Jan 24, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Dilema (Preview) Something recently dropped at my feet that I am struggling with. Im not sure exactly if this is an alanon question but most of my life decisions are centered on working my program so here goes......I discovered my best friends SO has a dating profile on a dating website. They have been living togethe...	Milehi-tlc	14	329	Jan 24, 2014 by pinkchip
	Away. (Preview) Heading away tomorrow morning for 4 days with family. Daughter's birthday on Saturday and we will celebrate it far away with my parents, aunt and cousins at my parent's beach-house. Daughter wants a Doctor Who cake so somehow on Saturday we will all pitch in and make an edible tardis. I will not get su...	Melly1248	23	537	Jan 24, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	4th step ulcer//change .. (Preview) ok .. so maybe not an ulcer but a knot in the pit of my stomach, definitely .. feeling sick tonight and just needed to put it out here .. i have a situation that i absolutely can't change .. i can't even accept that i can't change it .. it seems like it should be so easy to do and yet it is so hard .. i am certain i nee...	MeTwo2	15	394	Jan 24, 2014 by milkwood
	goin backwards ... NNNOOOOOOO ! (Preview) I havent been on in awhile.. I have had this peace and realization of letting go and realized how much happier I am without my AH. I had atty drawing up seperation of property and lives etc.... and then his dad past away unexpectidly. WELL .... we all know what an active A does when something like this happ...	sweeetr	7	437	Jan 24, 2014 by maryanne
	A co-dependent question?????? (Preview) Just wanted to ask what is the first step in dealing with folks in our lives that keep putting us down. I have a problem of not answering back when someone is nasty to me. I don't like to confront any one on bad behavior. How do we know when is the time to be silent and when is the time to speak up. I don't like...	maryanne	18	581	Jan 24, 2014 by Ifnotforgrace
	Turn of events .. woot woot :) (Preview) Well, it won't fix everything however it's a good start thank you God! I have been out of work since November and it has been scary is putting it mildly. I was validated in ways I wasn't expecting. I knew that there were some things brewing at the temp job I had worked .. I received a call last month about...	SerenityRUS	15	351	Jan 23, 2014 by Green Eyes
	So angry (Preview) I absolutely HATE my husband for what he is putting me through. He just called from rehab because I needed to ask him a quick question and he sounds so normal and care free, while I'm out here in the real world feeling lost hopeless confused and angry. I hate this.	anm722	23	388	Jan 23, 2014 by cwya
	past embarrassing behaviors (Preview) Yes, it's time to make some confessions. It is only now I can see the forest from the trees! Going back a few years, I need to share about some of the things I did in my futile attempt to cope with my A. I bought alcohol test strips that work from saliva. I snuck and looked at A's schedule to see when it look...	Lyne	8	414	Jan 23, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	a new member.... (Preview) I am so glad I found this place. I don't drive, and there are no meetings near when I live. I am so sad most of the time. I hurt. What I have been reading, has helped me a lot. Thanks for listening.	maryanne	6	321	Jan 23, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Trust issues (Preview) Ive been thinking about my progress and how ive been reacting most of the time lately and I think I have come up with a couple of answers, maybe. I think im too scared to fully live what im learning in alanon. when I connect with my higher power, let go of my own will and trust in the wisdom I have a good day. The...	el-cee	20	591	Jan 23, 2014 by ryanhearted
	how do you know Is Al-anon for me (Preview) How do I know ? Is my husband affected by the disease ? What are the signs ? Is it a dependency or is it alcoholic ? How much more can one take is it okay to walk away ? How can I make him see how can I help him change his ways ? He's not physically abusive, mentally i take my fair share daily, sometimes worst but nev...	Miamamamia	13	726	Jan 23, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Divorce (Preview) AH has finally decided - He wants a divorce. He says his feelings of love for me are coming back but they will never be the same as the day he married me. Tried numerous times to blame mr for the the demise of our relationship (all of which are either completely irrational or completely false). For th...	mongowal	7	497	Jan 22, 2014 by Beatrice
	Back to square one (Preview) Man. After coming here and sharing and making progress and everything I have tried to do, I feel like I am right back where I started. I have so much anger, and it reared its head today. I yelled at my husband. Twice. Full-on, top volume, roaring yell. I just got so sick of it. Everything is so awful, nothi...	SpiderArcana	10	473	Jan 22, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	New to all of this and need major help/advice (Preview) Hello all. I am a 27 year old female married with 3 kids. My husband and I have been together 11 years married 7. In the past 7 years my husband has been in and out of prison for different things. In the past 3 years I have found out that my husband had been doing heroin while we were seperated. After finding t...	anm722	24	546	Jan 22, 2014 by anm722
	Why am I attracted to big selfish egos? (Preview) It disgusts me when people come off so selfish and unable to see beyond their own noses. And well I first found in in my addict Mother, everything too was about what she wanted, when, how and you better make it work out with all your might or be prepared! My exAH never once hit me, he got close and broke every...	Breakingfree	10	655	Jan 22, 2014 by Melly1248
	Saying NO to the disease. (Preview) So careful to maneuver through the person that suffers from alcoholism. Even in the attempt to remain sober. I caught myself this time. I said NO! Not this time. I will not allow my recovery slide back not one single step this time! You may have the man I love still in your grips but I will not be yours toda...	Mari1978	6	681	Jan 22, 2014 by Breakingfree
	My Dad (Preview) My brother called me to let me know my 85 year old Dad has been hospitalized. I called my Dad who is usually concerned about me being on winter roads. I also know when he says, "Are you coming in?," he wants me there. He wants me to wait until Sunday since in his words: "It's too late now...	grateful2be	24	357	Jan 21, 2014 by mercedes1959
	I didn't say it!!! (Preview) Car finally went to the mechanic today. Now I am no expert on cars by any means but i know a thing or 2, and I have told ABwhatever he is that the car sounds like it needs a new coil, which i had a spare one of, maybe some new ignition leads and that he could probably fix it himself for like $40. I even emailed him a...	Melly1248	14	667	Jan 21, 2014 by bud
	things are the same but different.. (Preview) So, what I am trying to say right now is that nothing really has changed lately but my outlook has changed. I am still in the grips of this disease daily I just know that I can overcome the trials & tribulations that go along w/ it. I guess I can say I am an overcomer even if it is just an affirmation. I am a l...	Hoot Nanny	3	293	Jan 21, 2014 by bud
	Leaving Well Enough Alone (Preview) I heard a lady share in a meeting the other night that she had tried to "help" a friend by giving advice and the friend said she had to hang up the phone and would call right back...the lady's friend never called back. the lady went on to say she then decided she'd call the friend herself but the f...	WorkingThroughIt	11	541	Jan 21, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	First Timer, Needs Some Veteran Advice (Preview) As mentioned, this is my first time to post anything. I have an AW that I love very much who is sober 55 weeks now, and we are having some problems. We have been married 21 years and have had a wonderful marriage in all aspects, but the disease got to be too much and she got help a year and half ago. Here we are ov...	OnMySignal	9	571	Jan 21, 2014 by OnMySignal
	Is this the right forum... (Preview) I have no clue if this is the right forum to just post something like this, but I really need some words of support/advice. New member as of 3 minutes ago. I am actually an alcoholic myself. This might not sound like acceptable rational to some, but the reason I am writing is that my fiance (boyfriend of 18...	LWI	6	360	Jan 21, 2014 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change (Yesterdays Reading) (Preview) When I first heard that the best way to help an alcoholic was to focus on myself, I thought Al-Anon was a heartless place where I would be forced to stop caring about my loved ones. I had decided never to return, but someone shared a thought that changed my mind. He said that although the desire to help anot...	John	9	1534	Jan 21, 2014 by DavidG
	Fall Pictures Part 2 (Preview) This where I got my avatar picture we were wandering around OMGosh .. I thought the kids would kill me because we wound up in a brush of burrs .. LOL!	SerenityRUS	0	171	Jan 20, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	How can one stop worrying? (Preview) I am 74 and still worrying about daughter who is 47 and has drank since she was 13. She has a S.O.(many relationships and 2 marriages) who supports and enables her, and has never asked for anything. It is just that I see she is dying, so thin now and looks awful. Her insides are so messed up she can't keep foo...	lenii263	3	380	Jan 20, 2014 by Katytexasmom
	Moving Forward . . (Preview) I'm so grateful for the Alanon program that has taught me some very basic lessons, .. lessons I didn't learn during my childhood because they just weren't available to me. This too shall pass .. (the AA version) like a kidney stone .. however it will pass. :) One door closes and another opens .. in the me...	SerenityRUS	6	404	Jan 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	Update and such :) (Preview) I haven't heard from my mom today, however the reality is and it just dawned on me I won't "hear" from her, the entry point of surgery went through the front of her throat. She was suppose to be in the hospital for 3 days so we'll see .. I guess I figure no news is good news and knowing my mom .. lol ....	SerenityRUS	8	369	Jan 20, 2014 by Breakingfree
	He wants out of rehab! (Preview) Wow, my AH finally chose to go to rehab and now thinks he will do fine so he wants out early....lots of complaints about food, smoking, etc. etc.......I said that actions speak louder than words and that if he said he would do 30 days of inpatient , but leaves early.... than his actions show that he can't k...	jillybean1	10	618	Jan 20, 2014 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.