The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks for all your prayers. I got half way to my destination and had to turn back. White out conditions on major highways with foolish drivers still going 60 when they couldn't see anything and didn't know when the next snow drift was coming. I had talked with my Dad after learning where he'd be today and booking my motel. Once again, he didn't want me on the roads although I had not told him about the wind or blowing snow. I waited until the slick road ways had melted some and although I hit some rough spots - kept going forward. I chose to turn back because I knew that blizzard like white-outs would be the same for many, many miles. Still took me awhile to get home, but arrived safely. Called my SIL who told me things are rough there because of blowing and drifting snow, too. My Dad is still very sick and they're testing him now for H1N1 on top of the other health issues. The plan is to move him to a skilled nursing facility after my POA brother meets with the Social Worker tomorrow and decides what my Dad's options might be. I'm still frustrated by the weather, but this is one of those Step 1 things. I'll just have to be with my Dad in another way for now.
Thanks for all your prayers. I got half way to my destination and had to turn back. White out conditions on major highways with foolish drivers still going 60 when they couldn't see anything and didn't know when the next snow drift was coming. I had talked with my Dad after learning where he'd be today and booking my motel. Once again, he didn't want me on the roads although I had not told him about the wind or blowing snow. I waited until the slick road ways had melted some and although I hit some rough spots - kept going forward. I chose to turn back because I knew that blizzard like white-outs would be the same for many, many miles. Still took me awhile to get home, but arrived safely. Called my SIL who told me things are rough there because of blowing and drifting snow, too. My Dad is still very sick and they're testing him now for H1N1 on top of the other health issues. The plan is to move him to a skilled nursing facility after my POA brother meets with the Social Worker tomorrow and decides what my Dad's options might be. I'm still frustrated by the weather, but this is one of those Step 1 things. I'll just have to be with my Dad in another way for now.
glad you made it back safe...Hey..you tried...Thats all we can do...and yep, sometimes we just have to work a step one and wait till HP shows us another way........
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I'm happy your home safely. I can't imagine what you go through. On this side of the country when I want to go I go. Not sure I have ever had to turn back because of weather. Will continue to pray your dad will be OK and gets all the help he needs. He is not alone...
(((( hugs )))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Thanks again, all. I'm sitting in my livingroom looking at no wind and sunshine. Frustrating. I know the roads to my Dad are awful - even the motel clerk who helped me book and I called to cancel told me a young couple had booked a room with them shortly before I called because it was too dangerous on the roads and they couldn't see. From my view on the couch, it just doesn't seem true, but it is. It was determined my Dad doesn't have Sepsis - thank heaven, but is still a very sick puppy. Your prayers for him can't be anything but a help. Your support of me helps to keep me in program rather than pacing the floors worried or projecting.
When my parents have been sick, I am so thankful for my siblings. Glad your brother and SIL are there for him until you can be. Stay safe!! Have said a prayer.
__________________
"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
I learned that both of them are having major health issues, too, and they've been exposed unknowingly to infectious diseases in being present for Dad. So has my other brother who is handling the POA part of Dad's care. My brother's stress level is so high, my SIL takes all the calls now - concerned for my brother's heart condition and out of control diabetes. She, too, has recently been hospitalized for heart. I'm healthy as a horse and can't get there. Well, I don't know if I'm as healthy as a horse, really. But, I am healthy! I have no on-going medical issues that require little stress to maintain them. At first, I was concerned about my Dad. When I got home, I learned the rest of the story about my siblings living closest to my Dad by another sibling 700 miles away who has heart problems himself. Boy! This sure isn't like childhood! We could ride bikes and play chicken with the best of them followed by kick the can until the street lights went on. Now, its more like: "Okay, everyone! Whose not near death's door today? Anybody need help out of their chair?" And I'm the oldest!
Please keep praying - they're all in bad shape down there - with no relief in sight. And I'm nice and comfortable on my couch. It feels so uncomfortable not to be able to be there with them to sit with Dad and let the younger ones take care of themselves for awhile.
Well, Betty, truth be told - it was hard to turn around. I wanted to keep pressing forward, but a memory of you saying "Take care of yourself first" yesterday was like an angel on my shoulder saying, "Come on. Let's be smart about this." Smile.
Continued prayers for your Dad. You tried and I'm glad you put safety first. Your love and prayers will still reach your Dad until you are able to provide them face to face.
I'm glad that you are safe and healthy.
Being English, I consider myself an expert on the weather and know without a doubt that we can not control it!!! I also know that it always changes and gets better eventually
Prayers for your family and (((((((hugs)))))))) for you.
Thank you. The weather prediction for here and for my Dad is increasingly difficult weather. I won't be going today either. My fear is that I won't be with my Dad if it's time for him to go on. When my Mom died, by the time I got the call that she was close to death, I was hours away from her. She died two hours before I could have gotten to her. Dad is very, very sick and 85. I'm feeling frustrated because once again, I got the call a day after I could get there in time and would know where to stay in relationship to him. C2C's I will know what I need to know when I know it, helps me try to remember that if I'm meant to be there, I'll be there. Just right now, its a wrestling match to stay program focused and to let go of family expectations (that my siblings will call before its too late for me to be with my Dad like they did my Mom) and the resultant resentments. I also know that in this case, it is weather and not knowing where my Dad will be moved that prevents my being where I want to be and even that is something I'm wrestling with today. Thanks for listening.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 20th of January 2014 08:44:58 AM
Oh how frustrating. Grateful, is there anything you can do in the meantime, write your dad letters, make a scrapbook about how much he means to you, anything that would keep you busy and actively doing something for him while you wait for clear weather? Just a thought I don't know if it would help, I know you are scared for him and frustrated about the weather which is understandable. I will continue to pray for you and your family.
I hope you find a way to travel to travel soon. This is such a hard thing. My thoughts and prayers are with you every step. We had one of the worst blizzards on record when my son was dying but I believe (on my better days) that God made this so for a reason. I am even grateful sometimes when I can manage it because sometimes desire surpasses knowledge and logic. When grief is involved my ability to accept is almost nonexistent.
I know God has a purpose in this for you and like others have said your father would rather you were ok than physically at his bedside. I'm praying your burden you feel with the As in your family also might be lifted. You can be there spiritually for him I know and you're with the angels watching over him.
My prayers are with you Catherine. I pray what you want and what you need will be there for you soon.
I was not with my dad either when he passed. I was on my way home after just leaving him. I didn't know and it hurt. I did go back the next day and helped my sister with the arrangements. It was sad but I couldn't change it no matter how much I wanted to. I was powerless..
((( hugs ))))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I made it! Just left Dad's hospital room. He was sooooo happy to see me. He's still very, very sick. We all have to wear masks and gloves because he has two infectious diseases. He had a rough time of it this afternoon, but loved that I snuck in a peanut butter cup. Nothing else appeals to him to eat - his blood sugars looked good - so, I waited until staff left the room to give him his surprise. Like a kid in a candy store.
Funny thing is, I'd made up my mind I'd just go to work and spend the next storm there for a few days. I unpacked my car and put the suitcases in it. Then, I went off to do errands for the office and buy food to eat there for me. As I started on from the grocery to the next errand, I saw "check gauges" come on. To make a long story shorter, I ended up taking the van back to my home drive because the anti-coolant gauge was off the mark on the red. The van wasn't steaming, so I called my assistant and told her I was going to let the van cool down for a few hours and check whether or not we needed a wrecker or if there was some minor problem. I was still stewing about Dad and concerned for my family members who lived here. I called the hospital at 2 and my Dad told me the highways were fine (how he could see that from his hospital bed and thinking this is March, I don't know.) My brother said, "Come on in. We're doing okay. The storm now is coming in tonight." I repacked the car, called my assistant and said goodbye for the week. Smooth sailing straight to the hospital after I called yesterday's motel who still had my reservation on file and needed nothing from me.
It's now turning cold and a biting wind is blowing up, but I'm here and that is all I care about. Thanks for your prayers, everybody. My siblings were glad to see me, too. My POA brother wanted to take his wife out tonight for a birthday dinner. My other brother and his wife have to go back to work tomorrow. They can do what they need to do for themselves and I can do what I need to do for me and for my Dad, too. (((family)))
I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Dad and I shared 65 years of our lives together. He has always been there for me. I want to be there for him. To see his face light up when I entered his room - half hidden behind a mask and gloves - was so incredibly moving for me. To watch his blue eyes twinkle over his glasses when he saw the orange wrapper that hid one cup in it for him and his now thin arm and stroke-affected hand snatch the bar from mine - $1,000,000,000 couldn't replace it for me. The both of us grinning together that the nurse had left the room and we could behave like two little kids happy about 1 small treat at our ages will be a memory I'll always cherish. Thanks for caring and letting me share this.
G2B--so very glad you got there safely and had such a wonderful moment with your Dad. I could hear the affection, trust and respect in your share and it was a blessing to me. Sometimes the tiniest instants become our most treasured memories. Reminded me of some of the ones I have had with those who I look forward to seeing again in joy. Give your Dad some hugs from us.
Now, for the thornier problem....Melly1248, it is just not possible to distill into only a few words the truly epic bondage the Reece's Peanut Butter Cup has had over the last 6 or 7 generations in the USA. They make 'em big, they make 'em medium, they make 'em teeny tiny little things and they are gobbled up in everything from popcorn to cakes. Originally, they were a patty of peanut butter flavored stuff the consistency of generally a mint pattie surrounded by milk chocolat. If you have M&Ms there, the littler ones are about that size and you can get them now in dark chocolat, I've heard tell. My mother absolutely adored them and they never lasted long, which I considered unfair since no other treat was kept on hand...except for dill pickles and olives for me and my father. If its pickled, we probably had it in the frig. I assume you can get them where you live though I would imagine the duty-free shops make a hefty chunk of change off them, sort of like Toblerone and cigarettes in the old days.
I recognize what I am about to say is nigh unto heresy worthy of impressment, but I just never could understand the allure of peanut butter. Its a great source of protein for the poorer amongst us but ehh, I can take it or leave it. I now prepare to be vilified.
LOL, wow, now I'm intrigued. I'm going to track them down and try them. The asian supermarket seems to specialise in american treats; (we go there to buy Dr pepper lol). I bet they will have some. I'll let you know what I think, I'm sure you will all be waiting with bated breath...
Reece's Peanut Butter Cups....OH my. When I was in Parker over Christmas we went into a Circle K and sitting there was a Reece's......two cups....one pound each. I just about fell over because I never seen them so big.
I wish I would have bought them then because I haven't seen any here yet.
Good stuff.
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I'm not a big peanut butter lover either, CWYA, but wrapped in milk chocolate -mmmmm. Little story. I knew a nun once who would eat candy once a week as a treat - chocolate. The gals she lived with loved how she lavished herself on her chocolate treats. They found her a t-shirt that read: "Just give me my chocolate and nobody will get hurt." Small, frail, white-haired gal dressed in a threatening shirt - cute beyond cute.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 22nd of January 2014 06:16:16 PM