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I havent been on in awhile.. I have had this peace and realization of letting go and realized how much happier I am without my AH. I had atty drawing up seperation of property and lives etc.... and then his dad past away unexpectidly. WELL .... we all know what an active A does when something like this happens
So papers on hold, he had no clue he was being served. I tried to be supportive "wife" ... at funeral home he smelled so strong of vodka I thought I was gonna vomit during the rosary. That was the only time I had to sit by him. His alcoholic buddies all hugged, cried and carried on. So I visited with a few of my friends that came to support me.
Now ... this father son relationship was not a close one.. His dad was a drug dealer and really an all around A$$. My AH has been following in his footsteps best I can tell as he ages. So I go to my Father in laws house to get rid of alcohol and drugs since my husband was going there to escape his pain .... guess ppl beat me there. But whatever ..... Then father in laws phone rang... YEP you guessed it... His "drug contact" man ! He didnt know he had past. He I guess had been watching the house he asked about a few vehicles that had been around more often that he hadnt saw before. (One being mine, and my AH work truck)
Anyway ... I will be labeled the bi%%h from he!! .... this gave him a great excuse to act a fool .... He dissapeared to our lake house after funeral day for a few days ...wont answer calls so ppl call me . ... he called today to come home. I said stay at lake or your dads house ... Ive been dealing with a stressed out child etc ... not becasue he was close to his grandpa but becasue his drunk dad .. was drunk infront of him and dissapeared for a few days ......
SADDEST .. MOST SELFISH THING I'VE EVER WITNESSED !..... Oh and to top it off he went to court for a DWI charge two days after funeral .. and BOUGHT his way to a lesser charge !!! Gotta love the system.....NOT !
Had to vent ...
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..."expecting the world to treat you fairly because your a good person, is like expecting a bull to not attack you because your a vegetarian "
I am glad to hear from you and am sorry to here all you are dealing with. I am glad you came back to your MIP family who can understand this disease and crazy making that comes with it. Sending you much love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I am so sorry that you are experiencing this difficult situation and pray that your Higher Power will guide your way today. I missed you and am glad to see that you are back and sharing your thoughts.
your post is titled going back Nooo .. not sure what the meaning was for you but when i read it i realised how many times i ended up back in situations i thought were done because there was yet again more .. for me to learn .. sorta like reading the readings over and over again until bam .. it hits us .. after step 3 nothing happens by mistake in recovery .. loved hearing that because it helped me with acceptance of situations as well .. and with the more for me to learn about alcoholism and learning the wisdom to know the difference between alcoholism and recovery .. i recognise today i needed to know everything about living with alcohol First so i could be lead toward Fully appreciating living with higher power ..
the selfishness ? yes . it's Mind Boggling .. Manipulative Baffling as all get out .. cunning and powerful .. crazy when Our eyes start opening and we can see it .. it is unbelievable indeed .. Either way I seem to walk around in disbelief .. Either I don't believe yet again how selfish this disease is .. or once again I don't believe how powerful and good higher power is ..
the buying of a lesser charge surprises but does Not surprise me either .. my x is in prison for 16 months .. Boy does that blow me Away .. this is his how manieth offense ? just sayin .. jails are full .. used to have such a fear of god before steps .. hp all of it .. then one day even with the fear of being judged by him, i was reminded God is a fair judge .. not like the judges down here sometimes who withhold evidence or courts of law with nothing but yes or no answers .. Even the system has been effected..
What surprises me more than any of it ?? I have seen so much and I can Still be surprised I'm surprised at times !!!! devastating disease ..
Such a hard time for everybody - the death of a loved one - no matter how sick they were or they are. Much encouragement and support for you and prayers for them.
Glad to meet you Sweeetr. Doesn't sound to me like goin' backwards, looks like forward all the way. It took a lot of courage and recovery to be able to maintain your boundaries with your STBXAH. You also chose well in shielding your child from the booze and the behavior the booze allows to run rampant. From a double winner, it is sometimes hard to differentiate between the person and the disease. So congratulations on holding to your recovery. Sending you (((hugs))) and an hoorah!
