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Today is A very hard day
(Preview)
I can not help but feel resposible for my husband arrest . I was not feeling safe I left my house to go to a hotel no one new about. I was only going for the day to get my head cleared pray to my higher power for help . I was feeling unsure weather to bite the bullet and take my AH back home. Until he followed me to an...
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Wisdom67
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19
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1020
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Lying while in recovery....How should I react?
(Preview)
My fiance' is 3 months sober after 5 years of binge drinking practically every day. While he was drinking, he was a compulsive liar. I was constantly catching him in lies that he told while drinking or about his drinking. Whether it was a big lie or a small lie, I couldn't trust a single thing he said. He wa...
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Megan_E
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23
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1135
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KMMS .. Oi!
(Preview)
Keeping My Mouth Shut .. Ohhhhhh myyyy is about all I can say at the moment. I need to take a BIG breath. Apparently my STBAX must have heard from his atty and must have been raked over the coals about more than a few things. Probably about paying the bills he just doesn't need to pay .. LOL .. I'm sure his a...
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SerenityRUS
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12
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357
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Wondering how to cope.
(Preview)
I have been dealing with this disease for 12 years now. Lots of pain the mistrust. Now I am retired and my husbanc is retiring in 2 days and I am wondering if I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have no faith in him. My trust is shattered and I dont know if I can be happy living like this. He says he...
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Jujubean
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5
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534
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Just finished reading Getting Them Sober
(Preview)
Even though it is a small book I have taken my time in reading it. I see myself in almost every page. I do think, for me, that this will be a book I can read again and again when I "slip" and say more than I should. I want to get healthy for me. I don't want to have that horrible feeling in the pit of...
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Jen61
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9
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690
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Love These Days
(Preview)
I am so happy today. I love the days when the sun is shining. I get one task done and my son has an excellent day at daycare. Sending all the new found Al-anon Family love and support today ......
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Truth
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2
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257
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Need to be brave and get info....
(Preview)
Just had knee surgery. Its been hurting a year or more. Then the darn DVT started up again. (blood clots blocking veins) so that means meds injections done by me and oral meds. its NO stress. I say no even more now. am ok no energy or very little. do one thing at a time. allow me to do some work outside for jus...
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Debilyn
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6
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437
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Back to the other behavior.
(Preview)
So today at about 11am. Jekyll was gone and Hyde was back. Normal emails and communication. I like Hyde much easier to deal with. One more week and then freedom for a month.
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Truth
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4
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256
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Being productive ..
(Preview)
Being productive is usually more along the lines of how to procrastinate and other not so healthy behaviors .. it's definitely something I'm working on because honestly .. I have used this on going legal battle to not face some of what I need to deal with .. kind of like dealing with the qualifier in my li...
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SerenityRUS
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5
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383
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The waiting is the hardest part
(Preview)
The past two days... Talk about a roller coaster. I'm posting from my phone so I hope this is semi coherent lol. So I had a great couple of days with experiencing some more breakthroughs in some difficult areas. I know I've received some potent blessings lately too:) but yesterday I sort of experienced...
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Raven Juniper
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7
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514
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another reason to be grateful
(Preview)
A new difficulty has arisen. I have been waiting on it and its here. My son was at court to testify against the man who assaulted him last year. So, ive been supporting him. Hes been up to high dough, really anxious and has been kept waiting for 2 days to testify. Today he did and he was so relieved. That, all...
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el-cee
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7
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381
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He has started it again....
(Preview)
He is denying the abuse and pretending he is the agreeable one. I did react however, I set boundaries. I restated my boundary to him "if he continues to deny the abuse and harassment, I will have to report him to the police. " He tried to say the stories are made up again. He is pretending he is ag...
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Truth
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23
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589
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on being brave in facing my new life..new beginning.
(Preview)
I don't think that it would be a struggle for me to accept that I am venturing into a new form of me. I have always wanted to have a nice life and to feel freedom from all of the aches. I felt that I belong in my al-Anon family because its a nice feeling to have that opportunity to finally see how a family should...
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ann margaret
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6
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372
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STEP 5
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57392387/alanon-step-5/
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hotrod
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2
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682
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I don't want to talk about it
(Preview)
So I haven't been here in a very long time. Something about typing my thoughts and feelings out makes them feel more real. AH was sober for about 3-4 months a couple years ago. It was a pretty nice time. But naturally, it slipped. Now, the drinking isn't as often as he used to, but more prolonged when...
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Hot Chicka
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12
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480
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My son
(Preview)
Since my son was released a year ago from prison due to a technical violation of his parole, I have known that it was only a matter of time without his willingness to enter a recovery program in earnest that the disease would drag him back down. Instead of worrying about when the next shoe would drop, I ch...
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grateful2be
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16
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487
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Denial and other things ..
(Preview)
Good morning all, I had a very long talk with two people last night my STBAX's s/mom who I used to be very close to and my sponsor. S/mom has been avoiding me as I wanted to talk to her before the kids started seeing her again .. she needed to be aware of why the parenting agreement is the way it is ... I had tal...
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SerenityRUS
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8
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448
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doing ok
(Preview)
feels like awhile since i have connected. . its been a strange and emotional couple of weeks. as you know about about a month ago i was planning my divorce. . and then i stayed. now after that must admitt i think my ah was shook up a bit. he adjusted his ways. made some effort and has been actuallt trying. hes...
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Theoceancalls
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5
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411
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Okay getting excited about the new man in my life.....
(Preview)
I really think I hit the jackpot here. It is still very new and I am taking my time, but this guy seems so healthy. He has a great job and is a hard worker, great dad to his kids, is a softball coach for one of their teams and just seems so well rounded. We have been hanging out and talking and I am just amazed. He h...
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Breakingfree
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11
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382
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Mysterious ways
(Preview)
After my nice little outburst today, I left the house to get the emissions checked on the little car I bought in February. It hadn't passed the initial smog check and for lack of funds I had to get an extension so that I could do the repairs. My extension had expired a few days ago and I'd been so afraid that I...
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Raven Juniper
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7
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420
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Just Breathe
(Preview)
As I was washing the dishes a few moments ago asking, "what do I do", I hear the words of a song "just breathe". To me that means attend to me and stay in this moment. The event that pushed me into this place was the news that my 11 year old granddaughter is displaying increased sig...
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PP
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15
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545
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Oh Well. What am I going to do?
(Preview)
Apparently, A hit someone at work today. I actually sympathised for a while as he told me how this guy had "provoked him" until I realised..hang on...isn't that what he's always says about me? It's amazing that I bought into it at first. It's amazing that I always have bought into his tales o...
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Melly1248
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10
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559
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My life after RLC
(Preview)
I've been thinking about Rodney a lot lately. I miss him every day and I think he is with me. I have divorced my husband moved to Birmingham and started my life over again. I have met a great man who is the opposite of an addict and loves and respects me. I left my alcoholic husband over a year ago when he waved...
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MDK
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5
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376
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tears of love & support
(Preview)
I really feel the love on MIP. I am so grateful for all of you. I just recently read a reply from my post that started me to cry a little. I appreciate all the comments & times when I need them the most, you faithful members always come through for me. Even w/ all the struggles w/ my mom over the long haul &a...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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240
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Foot in mouth alert!
(Preview)
I made the mistake of asking that my feelings be given the same rating as a visitor might get this morning. What was I thinking! Well I wasn't (thinking) really was I!! Anyway, it unleashed a load of stuff and hurtful words from me as well as from AH. Why, oh why, did I think it was worth saying any of it? ...
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milkwood
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6
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388
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The interview
(Preview)
The trip was great. I was nervous at the interview but I did my best and they will let me know if I am hired. She asked me why I was moving so far from home. I told the truth I said I was getting divorced and I was looking for a fresh start and that I had always wanted to live in a big city. I told her I did the applicat...
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texasgal
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7
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235
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Smoking and stuffing emotions
(Preview)
Discovery... I use smoking to stuff emotions. Hmmm now the processing will begin.
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Truth
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14
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568
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Sat and confered with my Sponsor.
(Preview)
Amazing that I got the distinct feeling and impression that both his HP and mine were sitting there. My sponsor works hard at listening and filtering what he hears thru his own experiences. I love and appreciate that...he is not flash answers, not one shoe, mine fits all and I could see him listeni...
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Jerry F
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5
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352
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How did you have The Talk?
(Preview)
Hi everyone I'm new here. Really glad to have found this forum. I need a bit of sanity at the moment. I know there's no magic bullet and no instant answer to my question, but I'm hoping you can offer some advice. How did you have The Talk? (the one about your A's drinking and how it impacted you) and ho...
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yankshirerose
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14
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531
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Court stuff ..
(Preview)
Well, here's the bottom line .. it is important legally for me to document these things and DO need legal proof of things that are occurring I can document that is not as strong as the police being involved. I did ask my atty to ask my STBAX's atty if he knew where he was? Was he in jail? Was he in the hospit...
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SerenityRUS
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7
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438
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Update on 'my story' at meeting
(Preview)
Ok, so I was sitting at the front table and people kept filing in, I mean like more and more and more people and they had to borrow chairs from AA's room, etc. It was the most packed I've seen our room EVER! Yep, no pressure, just 60 sets(Ok, maybe 55) of eyes on me. One of my friends looks at all the people c...
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ilovedogs
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9
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481
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My alcoholic brother
(Preview)
I dont even know where to start. He has been drinking heavily for 10 years. He is now 35. Still lives with my mother who is on disability. She pays all of the bills with the little bit of money she gets & he doesnt give her much to live there. His paycheck goes to alcohol. He walks all over her & she let...
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pkm
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9
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534
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I'm scared and anxiety all at once
(Preview)
I had a blow up with the person I live with. He told me to get the F out now. I not going right this minute but I'm leaving as soon as possible. My anxiety is because now I have to find a place to live and get my stuff moved and it is giving me anxiety and fear. I know this is best. I have to get some money togeth...
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Cathyinaz
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20
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701
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Wellness Check ..
(Preview)
Because I'm not sure how to handle the whole no show .. I totally understood it after he was arrested for violating the OP (yes and no .. it would have been simple NOT to contact me and still see the kids). He ducked out on the kids for almost 8 months I didn't have to have contact closer to about 9 I think. An...
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SerenityRUS
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7
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692
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Should've known better
(Preview)
I could feel it rising up in me. My addiction was rearing its ugly head. After a mostly quiet patch, his using in all forms has been ramping up and along with it, my stress, in the physical and mental forms. I tend to get cold sores under stress and it's funny how I've been feeling the tingling pain of a blist...
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Raven Juniper
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6
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405
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I am so anxious that I want to post every time I get a chance...
(Preview)
Today I feel compelled to post. I haven't in a few days. My mom is back in the hospital. I am OK w/ it. My family is coming up to take her back home. I am actually OK w/ it & look forward to her leaving. I have already spent nearly 20 years basically keeping her occupied. Now it is time for her to be taken care...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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287
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evil alcoholic
(Preview)
My A has two sides: a grotesque, huge, monster-like personna that puts addiction first and is willing to destroy herself and our marriage. Then there is a caring, helpful, and can-count-on-person who always comes through in an emergency. At times in the past, the monster was as big as godzilla, a...
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Lyne
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23
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667
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The greatest thing...
(Preview)
Lois and Bill did not have any kids of their own, but they had all of us!
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DavidG
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8
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400
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Debilyn says: DROP THE ROCK!
(Preview)
I love this! Thanks so much Debilyn, what a FANTASTIC new slogan for me this week! YIPEEEE, I got another tool! Hugs, J.
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Jean4444
|
4
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556
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Back home with dad....Different vibe.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Well, as I mentioned in the past I am temporarily back with my dad to save some money for buying a home. So far, so good. Yesterday, he helped me move and he was fine. Sober. Last night he went out, this morning he seemed fine. Didn't ap...
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slogan_jim
|
4
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288
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Little apology
(Preview)
Sorry I was in the meeting this morning and I was heading out and my ride showed up and I forgot to log off so if anyone was talking to me, the reason I didn't answer is because I wasn't there. Ooops. My bad.
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Wolfie55
|
0
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172
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Addiction to a person?
(Preview)
Has anyone ever heard of someone being totally addicted to another person. My AS seems to be addicted to a girl. He met her about 3 1/2 yrs ago and that is when his troubles started. I think she is an A too. But he just does not seen to be abel to stay away from her anymore than he can stay sober. At least the bott...
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Sallygcoe
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6
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269
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Proud of Myself
(Preview)
Okay so I wanted to share my progress. I have been trying to work this program and reading up on self-help books to help me detach with love and not be codependent. Yesterday my A decided that he wanted to go to visit some friends and drink all night. I did not argue and he stated that he had a ride. I was not gi...
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ct1203
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7
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241
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Got my boundaries crossed
(Preview)
even with a sign out front on my driveway saying "No trespassing", "No Turn Arounds"...lots of people do that; drive off the main drag down our private drive, into my driveway to turn around so they won't have to back out where they came in. None leave any sort of funds to repair...
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Jerry F
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16
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552
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This too shall pass .. however ..
(Preview)
I'm soooo in the middle of a very dark fantasy. STBAX has not contacted me or the kids about visitation this weekend. This screams of him drinking which is none of my business however .. it is one of those situations that is so completely predictable. I haven't heard from him since Monday when I set my...
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SerenityRUS
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18
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700
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Stuck between a Rock and hard place
(Preview)
I have two problems that I am trying to work through at the moment and not sure how to resolve or move forward with them. Any guidance would be extremely helpfulFirst are boundaries with A. It was agreed that A would undertake a home detox and I would help them do this but once they had completed this the...
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southernlass
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4
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388
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Rejection ..
(Preview)
Ok .. I'm big on self introspection today .. I just kind of have tried to keep busy and just be .. I did have an interesting thought today about what has been going on and here it is that I did the rejecting of my STBAX .. hey I told him I didn't want him just stopping by and he still beat me to the punch of making th...
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SerenityRUS
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13
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402
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Job interview
(Preview)
I have a job interview on Monday in the morning in a city 5 hrs away. I leave tomorrow. I found an economical hotel close to the interview. I am nervous I purchased a new outfit and got car ready. I have been meditating and praying to HP. I have made wonderful friends in Alanon and at my work. I would miss them...
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texasgal
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11
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335
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Mediation Session Moved Again - A Good Thing?
(Preview)
So my mediation session was moved again, which is okay because it gives me more time to prepare. My ex-A has not contacted my son or myself since that last incident. However, that day he was trying to get me talk about mediation before mediation. He did state "that he wants me to acknowledge that h...
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Truth
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8
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308
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step 5 rethink
(Preview)
I recently met with my sponsor and told her some of my shortcomings, not all but easy does it, and so ive been thinking what do I do now, do I just move on to the next step? I have felt that this step needs more time and attention than that. Ive only done one part, ive admitted to another human being but I need to...
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el-cee
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3
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343
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In tears every day this week
(Preview)
I am not a crier. Never really have been. My dad used to shut down my tears quickly and my husband used to accuse me of using tears to manipulate him. So, I learned to control it. This week I have found that I am constantly fighting back tears. My AH saw me with little glistening tears in my eyes last nig...
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ilovedogs
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13
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576
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Coming back/Loneliness/Resenment
(Preview)
I haven't been to any F2F meetings for a few months. I used to go to a regular one once a week however I stopped going because I didn't feel like I was working my program in all areas of my life. I felt like when it was my time to share I would end up sounding like I was contradicting myself. My warped judgement o...
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sportychick
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5
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501
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Free Hugs Here! ;)
(Preview)
So I was just lurking around this morning and I've read so many beautiful, heartbreaking and inspiring shares. And I have to get out of here and go to work, and I don't want to. I feel bad that I don't have the ability to translate what my soul wants to say and fire off some eloquent replies. You are all my bro...
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Raven Juniper
|
9
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286
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testing times
(Preview)
The isms of this disease live on in my family and sometimes they are very clear to see. There is drama going on in my family right now. I dont know exactly what it is because, I resisted turning into a detective, I did not snoop or pry and I did not manipulate people to get involved and fix. Its interesting b...
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el-cee
|
9
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306
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observing the A
(Preview)
Hi all~Have been home sick all week and as my A is semi-retired, have had a window into the A's new life. A has lots of free time. Hd I not joined alanon a year ago I think I would have spent the week angry as well as sick! My A WAS going to 3 meetings a week and working with a sponsor. Now the A goes to 1 meeting...
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Lyne
|
6
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458
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What am I missing?
(Preview)
I have been struggling so much with extreme anxiety over my situation. I cant put my finger on any one event just life with my AS in general. I completely understand and get the 3 c's. In theory I truly believe in "let go and let God" but in practice I just cannot turn off the anxiety and sadness o...
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Sallygcoe
|
10
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539
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My A Son is doing well
(Preview)
He is now the proud father and I am a proud grama of a beautiful baby boy born today! And I do take some credit, I put lots of Alanon studying and memorizing and practicing and came to this board for support, in order to have the strength to say NO even if it killed me inside. I stuck to it and gave him boundarie...
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oldergal
|
8
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400
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Anxiety ..
(Preview)
I honestly didn't know how much anxiety I have been carrying for a long time because I didn't know what it was in terms of a "feeling". I figured that out last August when the kids and I started seeing our respected therapists. The EMDR therapy I did was huge especially in conjunction with A...
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SerenityRUS
|
9
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400
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|
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Depressed
(Preview)
I'm not sure why I came on the boards today (except to see Mark's good news, LOL), because I'm in a such a bad place today. I just got back last night after spending a week at my mom's across the country. It was hard to be in the car with AH and I realized that if I didn't speak and talk about the trip, he wasn't...
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ilovedogs
|
14
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657
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Just need to share tonight
(Preview)
So I haven't posted on here for about a year. I wasn't very active before, but some things have come up recently. My brother is an addict. He has used any and every drug to the maximum he could tolerate for 10 years. Most recent was meth and he would shoot it as well as heroin occasionally. His drug of c...
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Sam813
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4
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228
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