Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

He will want some syrup to go with it. If you give him some syrup, he will want a napkin to wipe his mouth. And so on and so on. This is a great children's book that describes what I have experienced this last week. But my story involves accepting a dinner invitation with my AH. My daughter and I went out to ea...

texasgal · texasgal

I was a victim of domestic violence for many years. I was beaten at various times throughout my marriage. I am now separated from my soon to be ExAH. I have been able to heal or so I thought. The other day the doorbell rang I wasn't expecting anyone and I panicked. When I went to door it was a man selling newsp...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

You know when I look back at how things were between my exAH and I, it really used to bother me that I let so much go and didn't know any better. We got together when I was 17, that is only a year older than my oldest daughter. I came from abuse and dysfunction and had learned at a young age to walk on eggshells...

pinkchip · pinkchip

He was 72 and an alcoholic. He latched on to a little bit of AA towards the end (in the last 3 years or so). His quality of sobriety was questionable because of being so doped up on meds that it still seemed like he was drunk much of the time and he half-assed it with no step work so he still flipped out period...

Fifi · Fifi

I started posting and reading here years ago. I got so much help wisdom and gained strength. I left my alcoholic BF. Now I have another. he does not drink, but is not living an active recovery life. I feel sad and lonely and resentful a lot. I know it is time to work on ME. Thanks for still evening here.

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Sometimes it may seem like you can't figure it out by yourself. Sometimes will and strength and courage are not enough. Sometimes in your life you will need to call out for help. Call on HP. HP will be there.

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I don't know if this is disrespectful or hurtful to say, but, I so truly don't mean it to be. I mean it to be thankful. When I see some of you ladies talking here about your adult A sons it helps me to realise that my A's painful saga was going on long before I met him, and, it's probably going to go on long after I...

neshema2 · neshema2

I am the only one in my immediate sibling family who got into alanon and addressed the damage that alcoholic and dysfunctional/abusive families can do to a child....I am thriving in recovery and now help others to heal...I am the one who turned the evil and darkness into something positive and healin...

Ingwe · Ingwe

I have been on this roller coaster since 2004 with my AH son. Three years ago he was in rehab for a month and his girlfriend stood by him. After learning all about co-dependency, I believe she has been co-dependent on him since then. She had great hopes and dreams and has finally had enough. Things ha...

ladydiva0399 · ladydiva0399

My name is Deborah and I am a alcoholic/ addict in recovery. It was suggested for me to come to Alanon. Even though in recovery I really have an issue with being so obsessed with others, mostly my husband who has almost 9 years and I have 15 years. I am aware that I need to detach from my husband moves especia...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I have a share...and if you make it through reading this, I have a question at the end...LOL! Last night was a close call and I don't want to go through any more nights worrying about what the A is going to do. This past week I had decided to take the financial loss and let the A take the Jeep and all the tools I'...

Truth · Truth

I just went on the website that promotes the program we went through for parenting. I read the "success" story. It is my literally. I am really sad because I realized the very program that was "suppose" to help us was the program that got me to let go of my boundaries and the abuse st...

tortuga · tortuga

hello, am currently going to huge mood swings, from courage one second to feelings of despair in the next. I can't see my life unfold, am having a huge panic attack. and it's for me a dangerous place to be insitting in isolation, there is not much to do for the moment, other than reaching and sitting it thr...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

The last few days I have felt really depressed. I am feeling jealous of people who have a good marriage. I am mad at a co-worker who has lots of money and asks me questions about my family life. I am feeling like a failure because I am in a second failed marriage. My credit score is BAD...just looked it up a fe...

Truth · Truth

My ex-A asked for a visit tomorrow and Saturday. I said no because we have plans Friday and Saturday. He thinks I am not allowed to say no. I just no I don't think so and I am allowed to say no as he will not agree to a schedule. He told me he cannot have a schedule because of his work. I said well then I guess you wi...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well I have to say and I always new alcohol was bad. The disease it's self was brutal . This is nothing new to me . I think I'm just more open to realize that this is one tough habit to kick. I don't despise the drinker anymore , for me to cope and get threw this sickness I had to put myself in there shoes to see how...

Jerry F · Jerry F

to bring myself closer to the family look. All the beautiful flowers. Hawaii has only two seasons so we FLOWER!! all the time. This avatar is of my favorite flower which comes in two colors. I have the red one in file and show this, the Jade version. It is a very stunning flower in shape, size, color...

mynewlife · mynewlife

I started my recovery in al-anon 5 months ago and I can't express how grateful I am for this program. My brother has been a non-functioning alcoholic for the past 18 years, he will soon be 35 years old. He has lived with my parents his entire life except for probably 2-3 years and has only worked during tho...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

MAY 8 Among the many gifts we are offered in Al-Anon is freedom. When we are new in Al-Anon, we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair. Working with the program offers us release as we learn to understand the true nature of our situation. the gifts of Al-Anon are not without a price tag; freedom, f...

Gaby · Gaby

Today I came to work.. I'm ok at this moment. I am praying to god that he guides my son through his journey and praying for peace. I truly have to say to myself over and over that I did not make choices for my son. He made his own. I have cleaned my side of the street with him and apologized for pain I caused him, b...

bubba · bubba

Hi, I am in need of some help, my son is in rehab, he has put it in gods hands and let go.mthe problem is I cant seen to do the same. Im so afraid hes going to relapse. I feel like I need to be in control of everything. Hes 26 years old and I feel like hes 10. How do I do this???????????

Melly1248 · Melly1248

OK I'm going to try to put this into perspective. Excuse the boring story and repeat details lol. When I post on here I try to talk about what I am doing. Then when things are crazy with A I vent sometimes. The result is that I present myself as "trying so hard" and A as a "monster". I gu...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I was at a convention this past weekend and, unfortunately, had to witness a couple of my fellow club members demonstrate some pretty dysfunctional behavior after drinking from sun up to sundown. A fellow member, also witnessed their antics and suggested this mantra: "This is not my circus, I...

Gaby · Gaby

Today I found out my son lost his job due to again his addiction. Last year today was when he hit bottom and left to rehab on may 9.13. I am tired of being sick and tired. I again feel like I lost my son to his disease. I know I can't do nothing about it. The three C's. Through his adult life I have been dealing wit...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57511576/alanon-step-6/

Marina0719 · Marina0719

Good morning. I have never really spoke with anyone regarding this, and the reason being is that I was in denial that my husband had a problem- he was very manipulating and convincing. We got married young and the binge drinking was portrayed as something "all college kids do". As time prog...

afglin · afglin

When I walked in my first Alanon meeting over 21 years ago, I had so much fear and anger. Today I found a quote about fear. I plan to write it in my Alanon book. "Hope is stronger than fear." Another quote is "courage is fear that has said its prayers." That one helped me over the year...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well, I thought I would stop by to say hello and check up on my fellow alanoners..... May spring bring us all new and good beginnings.........

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have my last final today and I will go spend time with her tomorrow. She seems to be fading fast and can barely stay awake when I call to check on her. They never had kids and her husband is so sweet and staying right by her side. I have so much I want to say to this wonderful Spirit, I just can't imagine my life...

Sunrise · Sunrise

I've been reading much about detachment lately. I'm trying not to let my AH's behavior get unhelpful reactions out of me. I'm trying to keep my mouth closed. I'm trying not to argue. Trying to say "you may be right." Then last night I engaged. My son wanted to watch tv. AH, son and I wer...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am more than making it--I am thriving. I love to get on here when I feel excellent!

karen18 · karen18

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting about 30 years ago. I had no idea the impact that Al-Anon would have on my whole life. I am an AUTHOR and have written a memoir of sorts detailing the painful and deliberate steps that I took over many years to finally recover from the disease of co-dependency.

sadsusie · sadsusie

Thank you Kenny for reminding me that I WILL still need to do my own therapy on these boards and continue my meetings. I had myself a mini fear session last night. I took it out on my "recovering" AH in not a particularly harsh way, but it was NOT how I want to feel or act or react. I was afraid of los...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

lol, wow. Here's a lesson in not trying to predict outcomes! I mentioned that A appears to be really crashing and burning in the real world and that I am just letting the crisis happen and doing what I need to for my girl and myself including job-hunting, house-hunting etc. I'm trying to make REAL choic...

neshema2 · neshema2

you all know about my having to separate from daughter #2 due to toxicity and abuse from her to me...well i separated from her AND my baby grandson who is innocent in this.....Sat. was his birthday and I did not get an invite that I recall....I called her to say "hey it was nice your party for Adrian...

Truth · Truth

I have my mediation session tomorrow. I was wondering if any of you would add me to your prayer list?

Gaby · Gaby

Yes my son relapsed again. And he's driving. Again he puts everything on me. He is staying with a friend is possibly going to lose his job and I know I have no control of nothing. I need to completely detach. I pray and pray. But this is taking a huge toll on me .. I love him but I hate his disease!!

hotrod · hotrod

Stephen KingBorn: 4 March 1966Passed Away: 6 May 2007Website: http://hotrod.last-memories.com/index.phpStephen King A heart of gold stopped beatingTwo shinning eyes at restGod broke my heartTo prove He only takes the best

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Not sure if it's resentment or not but I'm not happy. I think I'm getting a little to close to my son's situation and it's giving me hurt. When I have a video chat with him at home he is not changing in my eyes. I can't see any hope he's going to change and that in its self makes my hopes for him disappear. I...

texasgal · texasgal

My soon to be exAH sent me crazy text messages and phone calls yesterday. He was obviously drunk. He was on a total blame game trip and blamed me and everyone for the troubles of his own making. At first I was strong and did not engage but after the last message I told him not to contact me anymore that I was mo...

el-cee · el-cee

I know this is controversial but i worry that the getting them sober book is recommended to new comers at the expense of the full benefits of the alanon program. I read one volume and it is a good book with limited value, it is short and has very small bite size pieces of information and it can be empowering...

sookie · sookie

It's been a long time since I have posted here. it's been about 3 years of working my program and getting healthier but all the while still avoiding some serious decisions about my marriage to the AH. We have been separated for almost 3 years, but not divorced--we have 2 beautiful kids which we parent t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I had a great driving lesson yesterday. I just love this instructor. I do believe together we're actually going to get me licensed and in the not-too-distant future! Yesterday we drove all around the city and I actually had FUN. Ha! She's good at seeing the areas where I make things harder for myself th...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Hey there everyone. Things have, mostly, been good. But just recently I have felt old habits creeping in. I suspect drinking on his part, and not taking care of my own needs on mine. And the co-dependency...holy crap. 'See that old guy over there, how he's kinda haunches over? That's why you need to s...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

This is my thought for today. What would happen if newcomers came into a room of grim-faced people clenching their chairs with white knuckles? They're coming from a place of overly-serious hyper vigilance, always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and they thought they could be happy with us? Thank...

Truth · Truth

So I had a brief discussion with the ex-a about what we will discuss in the mediation session. My main concern is having my son exposed to people who are displaying high risk behavior. He tried all the usual manipulations, denial, minimizing, making himself a victim, exposing my mistakes, phoning to...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I believe the Universe has given me as much pain as I need now. Definitely time to close some old doors and open new ones. I don't need to see it anymore...these vicious types... Over the past 24 hours I was on the exhausting, crazy train with yet another alcoholic who crossed my boundaries thinking it w...

CDK · CDK

Hello Sweet Ones. Its been a while. I need some ESH. I left my exA 2 years ago. Classic code/alcoholic relationship. Horrifying, painful, assaults, etc..just name it...it was probably there. I have not seen him or spoken to him. But, it appears that I am still afraid. I had a cluster this weekend...

MorningGlory · MorningGlory

Hello MIP Family,I have been checking in here, but mostly working on steps and doing on-line meetings and feeling better about MY recovery everyday! Got this from a friend and thought it was a joke but a lesson too, thought I would share:11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a...

Mattie · Mattie

Two updates on various things. First, the meeting with my friend who was drunk on the phone. Well, so far I've weaseled out of that one, though I know the hard work is coming. He had to change the time he was coming, and meanwhile one of my pipes started leaking through the wall, so I just said, "Th...

PleaseGodNoMore · PleaseGodNoMore

I've been lurking here for a few weeks now. Also started back to attending meetings in my local area and recently got a sponsor with whom I am starting to do the steps. I'm reading a few of the daily readings and praying for my AW and also for guidance and direction. I'm what I have learned is called a "...

grateful2be · grateful2be

After a harsh winter, MG's avatar of a beautiful morning glory is a reminder to me of some of my favorite springtime and summer colors and flowers. These blue hydrangea are especially precious to me because blue hydrangea are challenging to grow and can appear silvery depending on the blue hues and l...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I wanted to give an update. And mention something I was afraid to mention before. But I am tired of being afraid to talk about the horrible things I have dealt with these last few months. I can be subtle without mentioning details and I think it's ok to do this so I can start to heal. My AH and I were coworkers...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

After starting my day with my head in recovery. I had a counseling appointment that helped me to get balanced within regarding communicating my wants and needs to others. I went to the dentist and got a cleaning, worked out with a friend and I took my third final and got an A, I am happy right now. After s...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Alone with thoughts is a bad place to be - thoughts on my marriage to my AH - if you can call it that. There is no touch between us , there is NO trust in him, can't remember the last time something kind was said to me, and I am so sad. Trying to focus on kids and me but with 2 young kids its hard to not be around AH too...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

just saying. . i love everyones new flowery springy avatars. they make me smile when i read posts from you all. spring is taking forever to arrive here in my northeast state so these photos are of what is to come. . soon i hope. btw, i would upload one myself but from my tablet i cant seem to make it work,lol ;...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Well I'm officially out of a job but not quite. My job will end during the summer. I did apply for another in my dept. but it's been offered to someone else. I don't know who got it. I'm disappointed. The job was for my boss' boss who has her head on straight and is one of the few left who is holding tight to...

el-cee · el-cee

Im feeling a bit anxious tonight, a bit on edge. I feel that one door has closed and another will inevitably open and its the fear of the unknown. What makes it worse is that where I live days last a long time in the spring and summer. During the winter when I felt this way the days ended quickly and in a way thi...

mamachief · mamachief

It scares me when my AH drives....would it be wrong of me to call in a DUI driver in hopes he would get help? He would expect him mom to pay an attorney . If he had court ordered meetings?? The health insurance I found for him will pay for 30 days at a facility in Palm springs they only cost to us is flight and ab...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yep the world needs a group hug! I am especially in need of one today. No big deals, though, I just need my daily hug. So, it seems that days like today are sometimes rare but they happen when we least expect it. I am so grateful for the sunshine when it comes up here. Today it is kinda dreary but we had loads of...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	If You Give a Pig a Pancake... (Preview) He will want some syrup to go with it. If you give him some syrup, he will want a napkin to wipe his mouth. And so on and so on. This is a great children's book that describes what I have experienced this last week. But my story involves accepting a dinner invitation with my AH. My daughter and I went out to ea...	Newlife girl	8	603	May 11, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	domestic violence (Preview) I was a victim of domestic violence for many years. I was beaten at various times throughout my marriage. I am now separated from my soon to be ExAH. I have been able to heal or so I thought. The other day the doorbell rang I wasn't expecting anyone and I panicked. When I went to door it was a man selling newsp...	texasgal	12	1258	May 11, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Perspective is huge! (Preview) You know when I look back at how things were between my exAH and I, it really used to bother me that I let so much go and didn't know any better. We got together when I was 17, that is only a year older than my oldest daughter. I came from abuse and dysfunction and had learned at a young age to walk on eggshells...	Breakingfree	10	531	May 10, 2014 by Fifi
	Partner's father died (Preview) He was 72 and an alcoholic. He latched on to a little bit of AA towards the end (in the last 3 years or so). His quality of sobriety was questionable because of being so doped up on meds that it still seemed like he was drunk much of the time and he half-assed it with no step work so he still flipped out period...	pinkchip	15	566	May 10, 2014 by el-cee
	Back years later. (Preview) I started posting and reading here years ago. I got so much help wisdom and gained strength. I left my alcoholic BF. Now I have another. he does not drink, but is not living an active recovery life. I feel sad and lonely and resentful a lot. I know it is time to work on ME. Thanks for still evening here.	Fifi	7	486	May 10, 2014 by Fifi
	Reading my message from HP (Preview) Sometimes it may seem like you can't figure it out by yourself. Sometimes will and strength and courage are not enough. Sometimes in your life you will need to call out for help. Call on HP. HP will be there.	Cathyinaz	6	345	May 10, 2014 by oldergal
	When you talk about adult sons.. (Preview) I don't know if this is disrespectful or hurtful to say, but, I so truly don't mean it to be. I mean it to be thankful. When I see some of you ladies talking here about your adult A sons it helps me to realise that my A's painful saga was going on long before I met him, and, it's probably going to go on long after I...	Melly1248	10	602	May 10, 2014 by Jill
	the "shame" of being in recovery (Preview) I am the only one in my immediate sibling family who got into alanon and addressed the damage that alcoholic and dysfunctional/abusive families can do to a child....I am thriving in recovery and now help others to heal...I am the one who turned the evil and darkness into something positive and healin...	neshema2	21	686	May 10, 2014 by neshema2
	I did it .. (Preview) I have been on this roller coaster since 2004 with my AH son. Three years ago he was in rehab for a month and his girlfriend stood by him. After learning all about co-dependency, I believe she has been co-dependent on him since then. She had great hopes and dreams and has finally had enough. Things ha...	Ingwe	7	469	May 10, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	codependency and obession/Newcomer (Preview) My name is Deborah and I am a alcoholic/ addict in recovery. It was suggested for me to come to Alanon. Even though in recovery I really have an issue with being so obsessed with others, mostly my husband who has almost 9 years and I have 15 years. I am aware that I need to detach from my husband moves especia...	ladydiva0399	6	661	May 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	ESH on liability, anyone? (Preview) I have a share...and if you make it through reading this, I have a question at the end...LOL! Last night was a close call and I don't want to go through any more nights worrying about what the A is going to do. This past week I had decided to take the financial loss and let the A take the Jeep and all the tools I'...	Raven Juniper	8	659	May 9, 2014 by Beatrice
	Feeling Sad (Preview) I just went on the website that promotes the program we went through for parenting. I read the "success" story. It is my literally. I am really sad because I realized the very program that was "suppose" to help us was the program that got me to let go of my boundaries and the abuse st...	Truth	1	297	May 9, 2014 by Truth
	need help (Preview) hello, am currently going to huge mood swings, from courage one second to feelings of despair in the next. I can't see my life unfold, am having a huge panic attack. and it's for me a dangerous place to be insitting in isolation, there is not much to do for the moment, other than reaching and sitting it thr...	tortuga	8	553	May 9, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	I am really hurting...life looks hopeless :( (Preview) The last few days I have felt really depressed. I am feeling jealous of people who have a good marriage. I am mad at a co-worker who has lots of money and asks me questions about my family life. I am feeling like a failure because I am in a second failed marriage. My credit score is BAD...just looked it up a fe...	Newlife girl	16	674	May 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	He thinks I am "not allowed to say no" (Preview) My ex-A asked for a visit tomorrow and Saturday. I said no because we have plans Friday and Saturday. He thinks I am not allowed to say no. I just no I don't think so and I am allowed to say no as he will not agree to a schedule. He told me he cannot have a schedule because of his work. I said well then I guess you wi...	Truth	10	1142	May 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	Alcoholism is the worst (Preview) Well I have to say and I always new alcohol was bad. The disease it's self was brutal . This is nothing new to me . I think I'm just more open to realize that this is one tough habit to kick. I don't despise the drinker anymore , for me to cope and get threw this sickness I had to put myself in there shoes to see how...	Wisdom67	8	694	May 9, 2014 by PP
	Had to change the Avatar (Preview) to bring myself closer to the family look. All the beautiful flowers. Hawaii has only two seasons so we FLOWER!! all the time. This avatar is of my favorite flower which comes in two colors. I have the red one in file and show this, the Jade version. It is a very stunning flower in shape, size, color...	Jerry F	23	572	May 9, 2014 by el-cee
	New here....this is my story (long post) (Preview) I started my recovery in al-anon 5 months ago and I can't express how grateful I am for this program. My brother has been a non-functioning alcoholic for the past 18 years, he will soon be 35 years old. He has lived with my parents his entire life except for probably 2-3 years and has only worked during tho...	mynewlife	8	760	May 8, 2014 by Breakingfree
	One Day At A Time (the little blue book) - MAY 8 (Preview) MAY 8 Among the many gifts we are offered in Al-Anon is freedom. When we are new in Al-Anon, we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair. Working with the program offers us release as we learn to understand the true nature of our situation. the gifts of Al-Anon are not without a price tag; freedom, f...	WorkingThroughIt	6	2213	May 8, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Praying through every second.. (Preview) Today I came to work.. I'm ok at this moment. I am praying to god that he guides my son through his journey and praying for peace. I truly have to say to myself over and over that I did not make choices for my son. He made his own. I have cleaned my side of the street with him and apologized for pain I caused him, b...	Gaby	10	600	May 8, 2014 by neshema2
	letting go (Preview) Hi, I am in need of some help, my son is in rehab, he has put it in gods hands and let go.mthe problem is I cant seen to do the same. Im so afraid hes going to relapse. I feel like I need to be in control of everything. Hes 26 years old and I feel like hes 10. How do I do this???????????	bubba	9	455	May 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Not Rapunzel. (Preview) OK I'm going to try to put this into perspective. Excuse the boring story and repeat details lol. When I post on here I try to talk about what I am doing. Then when things are crazy with A I vent sometimes. The result is that I present myself as "trying so hard" and A as a "monster". I gu...	Melly1248	7	678	May 8, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Not My Circus (Preview) I was at a convention this past weekend and, unfortunately, had to witness a couple of my fellow club members demonstrate some pretty dysfunctional behavior after drinking from sun up to sundown. A fellow member, also witnessed their antics and suggested this mantra: "This is not my circus, I...	Green Eyes	9	596	May 8, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Hurting.. (Preview) Today I found out my son lost his job due to again his addiction. Last year today was when he hit bottom and left to rehab on may 9.13. I am tired of being sick and tired. I again feel like I lost my son to his disease. I know I can't do nothing about it. The three C's. Through his adult life I have been dealing wit...	Gaby	8	849	May 8, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Step 6 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57511576/alanon-step-6/	hotrod	0	1017	May 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Dealing with a loved one in denial (Preview) Good morning. I have never really spoke with anyone regarding this, and the reason being is that I was in denial that my husband had a problem- he was very manipulating and convincing. We got married young and the binge drinking was portrayed as something "all college kids do". As time prog...	Marina0719	3	567	May 7, 2014 by Sunrise
	Fear (Preview) When I walked in my first Alanon meeting over 21 years ago, I had so much fear and anger. Today I found a quote about fear. I plan to write it in my Alanon book. "Hope is stronger than fear." Another quote is "courage is fear that has said its prayers." That one helped me over the year...	afglin	2	381	May 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	Just stopping by to say hello (Preview) Well, I thought I would stop by to say hello and check up on my fellow alanoners..... May spring bring us all new and good beginnings.........	neshema2	5	343	May 7, 2014 by Rose50
	My sponsor who has been sooo instrumental in my recovery is in a nursing home now... (Preview) I have my last final today and I will go spend time with her tomorrow. She seems to be fading fast and can barely stay awake when I call to check on her. They never had kids and her husband is so sweet and staying right by her side. I have so much I want to say to this wonderful Spirit, I just can't imagine my life...	Breakingfree	13	487	May 7, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Detachment, Defending child, Losing that loving feeling (Preview) I've been reading much about detachment lately. I'm trying not to let my AH's behavior get unhelpful reactions out of me. I'm trying to keep my mouth closed. I'm trying not to argue. Trying to say "you may be right." Then last night I engaged. My son wanted to watch tv. AH, son and I wer...	Sunrise	6	622	May 7, 2014 by ct1203
	good day for sunshine (Preview) I am more than making it--I am thriving. I love to get on here when I feel excellent!	Hoot Nanny	1	296	May 7, 2014 by hotrod
	my personal story of hope... (Preview) I went to my first Al-Anon meeting about 30 years ago. I had no idea the impact that Al-Anon would have on my whole life. I am an AUTHOR and have written a memoir of sorts detailing the painful and deliberate steps that I took over many years to finally recover from the disease of co-dependency.	karen18	2	774	May 7, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	You (mip family) are right again; ) (Preview) Thank you Kenny for reminding me that I WILL still need to do my own therapy on these boards and continue my meetings. I had myself a mini fear session last night. I took it out on my "recovering" AH in not a particularly harsh way, but it was NOT how I want to feel or act or react. I was afraid of los...	sadsusie	8	564	May 7, 2014 by sadsusie
	We've noticed that your yearly ticket for the crazy-train is about to expire.... (Preview) lol, wow. Here's a lesson in not trying to predict outcomes! I mentioned that A appears to be really crashing and burning in the real world and that I am just letting the crisis happen and doing what I need to for my girl and myself including job-hunting, house-hunting etc. I'm trying to make REAL choic...	Melly1248	13	582	May 7, 2014 by yankshirerose
	I guess I am just going to trust that I am recovered enough.............. (Preview) you all know about my having to separate from daughter #2 due to toxicity and abuse from her to me...well i separated from her AND my baby grandson who is innocent in this.....Sat. was his birthday and I did not get an invite that I recall....I called her to say "hey it was nice your party for Adrian...	neshema2	6	433	May 7, 2014 by pinkchip
	Need Prayers (Preview) I have my mediation session tomorrow. I was wondering if any of you would add me to your prayer list?	Truth	9	471	May 7, 2014 by hotrod
	AGAIN!!! (Preview) Yes my son relapsed again. And he's driving. Again he puts everything on me. He is staying with a friend is possibly going to lose his job and I know I have no control of nothing. I need to completely detach. I pray and pray. But this is taking a huge toll on me .. I love him but I hate his disease!!	Gaby	8	503	May 6, 2014 by Jerry F
	Remembering my Son, Stephen who passed away from this disease 7 years ago tomorrow (Preview) Stephen KingBorn: 4 March 1966Passed Away: 6 May 2007Website: http://hotrod.last-memories.com/index.phpStephen King A heart of gold stopped beatingTwo shinning eyes at restGod broke my heartTo prove He only takes the best	hotrod	30	857	May 6, 2014 by neshema2
	Resentments?? (Preview) Not sure if it's resentment or not but I'm not happy. I think I'm getting a little to close to my son's situation and it's giving me hurt. When I have a video chat with him at home he is not changing in my eyes. I can't see any hope he's going to change and that in its self makes my hopes for him disappear. I...	Cathyinaz	12	697	May 6, 2014 by neshema2
	grateful for AlAnon :) (Preview) My soon to be exAH sent me crazy text messages and phone calls yesterday. He was obviously drunk. He was on a total blame game trip and blamed me and everyone for the troubles of his own making. At first I was strong and did not engage but after the last message I told him not to contact me anymore that I was mo...	texasgal	7	452	May 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	is getting them sober helping or hindering? (Preview) I know this is controversial but i worry that the getting them sober book is recommended to new comers at the expense of the full benefits of the alanon program. I read one volume and it is a good book with limited value, it is short and has very small bite size pieces of information and it can be empowering...	el-cee	33	923	May 6, 2014 by el-cee
	when the feelings die... (Preview) It's been a long time since I have posted here. it's been about 3 years of working my program and getting healthier but all the while still avoiding some serious decisions about my marriage to the AH. We have been separated for almost 3 years, but not divorced--we have 2 beautiful kids which we parent t...	sookie	8	631	May 6, 2014 by Ifnotforgrace
	A frivolous share about driving lessons :-) (Preview) I had a great driving lesson yesterday. I just love this instructor. I do believe together we're actually going to get me licensed and in the not-too-distant future! Yesterday we drove all around the city and I actually had FUN. Ha! She's good at seeing the areas where I make things harder for myself th...	Melly1248	12	608	May 6, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Back. Think I lost myself for a bit... (Preview) Hey there everyone. Things have, mostly, been good. But just recently I have felt old habits creeping in. I suspect drinking on his part, and not taking care of my own needs on mine. And the co-dependency...holy crap. 'See that old guy over there, how he's kinda haunches over? That's why you need to s...	SpiderArcana	8	686	May 6, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Lighten Up (Preview) This is my thought for today. What would happen if newcomers came into a room of grim-faced people clenching their chairs with white knuckles? They're coming from a place of overly-serious hyper vigilance, always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and they thought they could be happy with us? Thank...	WorkingThroughIt	3	371	May 6, 2014 by el-cee
	High Risk Behavior (Preview) So I had a brief discussion with the ex-a about what we will discuss in the mediation session. My main concern is having my son exposed to people who are displaying high risk behavior. He tried all the usual manipulations, denial, minimizing, making himself a victim, exposing my mistakes, phoning to...	Truth	5	517	May 6, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	I believe God is continuing to show me my Direction (Preview) I believe the Universe has given me as much pain as I need now. Definitely time to close some old doors and open new ones. I don't need to see it anymore...these vicious types... Over the past 24 hours I was on the exhausting, crazy train with yet another alcoholic who crossed my boundaries thinking it w...	WorkingThroughIt	9	572	May 5, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Dealing with mutual friend triggers years later..esh (Preview) Hello Sweet Ones. Its been a while. I need some ESH. I left my exA 2 years ago. Classic code/alcoholic relationship. Horrifying, painful, assaults, etc..just name it...it was probably there. I have not seen him or spoken to him. But, it appears that I am still afraid. I had a cluster this weekend...	CDK	9	513	May 5, 2014 by CDK
	Are you Joking? (Preview) Hello MIP Family,I have been checking in here, but mostly working on steps and doing on-line meetings and feeling better about MY recovery everyday! Got this from a friend and thought it was a joke but a lesson too, thought I would share:11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a...	MorningGlory	7	564	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	Two Updates (Preview) Two updates on various things. First, the meeting with my friend who was drunk on the phone. Well, so far I've weaseled out of that one, though I know the hard work is coming. He had to change the time he was coming, and meanwhile one of my pipes started leaking through the wall, so I just said, "Th...	Mattie	4	553	May 5, 2014 by ilovedogs
	New, Seeking and Kinda PO'd (Preview) I've been lurking here for a few weeks now. Also started back to attending meetings in my local area and recently got a sponsor with whom I am starting to do the steps. I'm reading a few of the daily readings and praying for my AW and also for guidance and direction. I'm what I have learned is called a "...	PleaseGodNoMore	14	578	May 5, 2014 by Onlyhope
	What are your favorite spring and summer flowers and colors? (Preview) After a harsh winter, MG's avatar of a beautiful morning glory is a reminder to me of some of my favorite springtime and summer colors and flowers. These blue hydrangea are especially precious to me because blue hydrangea are challenging to grow and can appear silvery depending on the blue hues and l...	grateful2be	35	1275	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	I have to be kind to....me!! An update (Preview) I wanted to give an update. And mention something I was afraid to mention before. But I am tired of being afraid to talk about the horrible things I have dealt with these last few months. I can be subtle without mentioning details and I think it's ok to do this so I can start to heal. My AH and I were coworkers...	Newlife girl	4	453	May 5, 2014 by milkwood
	My 3 daily readings today hit me so fresh and new it was amazing (Preview) After starting my day with my head in recovery. I had a counseling appointment that helped me to get balanced within regarding communicating my wants and needs to others. I went to the dentist and got a cleaning, worked out with a friend and I took my third final and got an A, I am happy right now. After s...	Breakingfree	5	485	May 5, 2014 by Breakingfree
	If I hear he has control over drinking 1 more time!!! (Preview) Alone with thoughts is a bad place to be - thoughts on my marriage to my AH - if you can call it that. There is no touch between us , there is NO trust in him, can't remember the last time something kind was said to me, and I am so sad. Trying to focus on kids and me but with 2 young kids its hard to not be around AH too...	Kerrymom	8	600	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	i love the new avatars (Preview) just saying. . i love everyones new flowery springy avatars. they make me smile when i read posts from you all. spring is taking forever to arrive here in my northeast state so these photos are of what is to come. . soon i hope. btw, i would upload one myself but from my tablet i cant seem to make it work,lol ;...	Theoceancalls	6	409	May 5, 2014 by Katy
	Going Forward Odaat (Preview) Well I'm officially out of a job but not quite. My job will end during the summer. I did apply for another in my dept. but it's been offered to someone else. I don't know who got it. I'm disappointed. The job was for my boss' boss who has her head on straight and is one of the few left who is holding tight to...	tiredtonite	6	422	May 4, 2014 by hotrod
	Scary Spring (Preview) Im feeling a bit anxious tonight, a bit on edge. I feel that one door has closed and another will inevitably open and its the fear of the unknown. What makes it worse is that where I live days last a long time in the spring and summer. During the winter when I felt this way the days ended quickly and in a way thi...	el-cee	16	667	May 4, 2014 by oldergal
	Would it be wrong? (Preview) It scares me when my AH drives....would it be wrong of me to call in a DUI driver in hopes he would get help? He would expect him mom to pay an attorney . If he had court ordered meetings?? The health insurance I found for him will pay for 30 days at a facility in Palm springs they only cost to us is flight and ab...	mamachief	5	551	May 4, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	the world needs a group hug! (Preview) Yep the world needs a group hug! I am especially in need of one today. No big deals, though, I just need my daily hug. So, it seems that days like today are sometimes rare but they happen when we least expect it. I am so grateful for the sunshine when it comes up here. Today it is kinda dreary but we had loads of...	Hoot Nanny	8	680	May 4, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.