Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Not sure if it's resentment or not but I'm not happy. I think I'm getting a little to close to my son's situation and it's giving me hurt. When I have a video chat with him at home he is not changing in my eyes. I can't see any hope he's going to change and that in its self makes my hopes for him disappear. I...

texasgal · texasgal

My soon to be exAH sent me crazy text messages and phone calls yesterday. He was obviously drunk. He was on a total blame game trip and blamed me and everyone for the troubles of his own making. At first I was strong and did not engage but after the last message I told him not to contact me anymore that I was mo...

el-cee · el-cee

I know this is controversial but i worry that the getting them sober book is recommended to new comers at the expense of the full benefits of the alanon program. I read one volume and it is a good book with limited value, it is short and has very small bite size pieces of information and it can be empowering...

sookie · sookie

It's been a long time since I have posted here. it's been about 3 years of working my program and getting healthier but all the while still avoiding some serious decisions about my marriage to the AH. We have been separated for almost 3 years, but not divorced--we have 2 beautiful kids which we parent t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I had a great driving lesson yesterday. I just love this instructor. I do believe together we're actually going to get me licensed and in the not-too-distant future! Yesterday we drove all around the city and I actually had FUN. Ha! She's good at seeing the areas where I make things harder for myself th...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Hey there everyone. Things have, mostly, been good. But just recently I have felt old habits creeping in. I suspect drinking on his part, and not taking care of my own needs on mine. And the co-dependency...holy crap. 'See that old guy over there, how he's kinda haunches over? That's why you need to s...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

This is my thought for today. What would happen if newcomers came into a room of grim-faced people clenching their chairs with white knuckles? They're coming from a place of overly-serious hyper vigilance, always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and they thought they could be happy with us? Thank...

Truth · Truth

So I had a brief discussion with the ex-a about what we will discuss in the mediation session. My main concern is having my son exposed to people who are displaying high risk behavior. He tried all the usual manipulations, denial, minimizing, making himself a victim, exposing my mistakes, phoning to...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I believe the Universe has given me as much pain as I need now. Definitely time to close some old doors and open new ones. I don't need to see it anymore...these vicious types... Over the past 24 hours I was on the exhausting, crazy train with yet another alcoholic who crossed my boundaries thinking it w...

CDK · CDK

Hello Sweet Ones. Its been a while. I need some ESH. I left my exA 2 years ago. Classic code/alcoholic relationship. Horrifying, painful, assaults, etc..just name it...it was probably there. I have not seen him or spoken to him. But, it appears that I am still afraid. I had a cluster this weekend...

MorningGlory · MorningGlory

Hello MIP Family,I have been checking in here, but mostly working on steps and doing on-line meetings and feeling better about MY recovery everyday! Got this from a friend and thought it was a joke but a lesson too, thought I would share:11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a...

Mattie · Mattie

Two updates on various things. First, the meeting with my friend who was drunk on the phone. Well, so far I've weaseled out of that one, though I know the hard work is coming. He had to change the time he was coming, and meanwhile one of my pipes started leaking through the wall, so I just said, "Th...

PleaseGodNoMore · PleaseGodNoMore

I've been lurking here for a few weeks now. Also started back to attending meetings in my local area and recently got a sponsor with whom I am starting to do the steps. I'm reading a few of the daily readings and praying for my AW and also for guidance and direction. I'm what I have learned is called a "...

grateful2be · grateful2be

After a harsh winter, MG's avatar of a beautiful morning glory is a reminder to me of some of my favorite springtime and summer colors and flowers. These blue hydrangea are especially precious to me because blue hydrangea are challenging to grow and can appear silvery depending on the blue hues and l...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I wanted to give an update. And mention something I was afraid to mention before. But I am tired of being afraid to talk about the horrible things I have dealt with these last few months. I can be subtle without mentioning details and I think it's ok to do this so I can start to heal. My AH and I were coworkers...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

After starting my day with my head in recovery. I had a counseling appointment that helped me to get balanced within regarding communicating my wants and needs to others. I went to the dentist and got a cleaning, worked out with a friend and I took my third final and got an A, I am happy right now. After s...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Alone with thoughts is a bad place to be - thoughts on my marriage to my AH - if you can call it that. There is no touch between us , there is NO trust in him, can't remember the last time something kind was said to me, and I am so sad. Trying to focus on kids and me but with 2 young kids its hard to not be around AH too...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

just saying. . i love everyones new flowery springy avatars. they make me smile when i read posts from you all. spring is taking forever to arrive here in my northeast state so these photos are of what is to come. . soon i hope. btw, i would upload one myself but from my tablet i cant seem to make it work,lol ;...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Well I'm officially out of a job but not quite. My job will end during the summer. I did apply for another in my dept. but it's been offered to someone else. I don't know who got it. I'm disappointed. The job was for my boss' boss who has her head on straight and is one of the few left who is holding tight to...

el-cee · el-cee

Im feeling a bit anxious tonight, a bit on edge. I feel that one door has closed and another will inevitably open and its the fear of the unknown. What makes it worse is that where I live days last a long time in the spring and summer. During the winter when I felt this way the days ended quickly and in a way thi...

mamachief · mamachief

It scares me when my AH drives....would it be wrong of me to call in a DUI driver in hopes he would get help? He would expect him mom to pay an attorney . If he had court ordered meetings?? The health insurance I found for him will pay for 30 days at a facility in Palm springs they only cost to us is flight and ab...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yep the world needs a group hug! I am especially in need of one today. No big deals, though, I just need my daily hug. So, it seems that days like today are sometimes rare but they happen when we least expect it. I am so grateful for the sunshine when it comes up here. Today it is kinda dreary but we had loads of...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, things with my AH are awful right now. Neither one of us is filing but I think one of us should just jump in and do it. We hate each other, there is no communication and he blames me because I don't like having conversations with him. He knows why, it's been made clear. He's been told how to find recov...

Mattie · Mattie

I thought I had a handle on who were the alcoholics in my life. But I just had an experience that shook me up. I got a call from an old friend. He said he was coming through town tomorrow and he thought of me. I said, "Hey, let's get together!" This is a person I don't have any romantic history w...

grateful2be · grateful2be

One of the things I appreciate on this board has to do with the lack of one up-man-ship that can often happen and does happen in some relationships and groups. Although I do see it on occasion - it is not the norm. Perhaps sharing our experience, strength and hope without correcting others or trying to...

Truth · Truth

I just read these words and thought what a great thing to share. "Remember that hope is not a strategy," she said. "Problems don't go away when you ignore them -- they get bigger." It reminded me of the "elephant in the room"

abell · abell

4 months pregnant now. I got pregnant because doctors told me i could never have a child so this was unexpected, esp. now i'm in my late 30's. During a relapse at Christmas with the exAH. He couldn't stay sober for a whole month, even after he knew about the pregnancy. A few weeks ago I had to leave for a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone My day started about 4am this morning. Got up got dressed got coffee and out the door by 5am. Took the trek up the hill to my x's house. Picked up him and his wife and we headed north to Flagstaff, AZ. Found the facility that had my son's personal items, laptop, computers etc etc etc. Next I...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Well, my AH is now a RAH. He did 30 days inpatient and another 45 in an Intensive outpatient while living in a 1/2 way house. He has learned all about his illness and what it did to our family. He was far from home so all our communication was by phone for the last 2 months, he sounds good and I am thankful...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well now .. been an interesting turn of events today .. first thing first I got my headlight taken care of to the tune of 18$ thank goodness it's done! Got a few other things done I'm having to apply for aide for my power bill .. however .. it is what it is and if it's available .. I'm taking it. The other news...

texasgal · texasgal

I got the job!! :) I'm so excited and everything happened with such little effort and worry on my part. I know it was all my HP I am so very grateful. I move in a couple of months so I have time to look for apt and pack. I look at my life very differently today. My soon to be exAH is not in a good place and one of the la...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I will be back on later tonight. it's been a busy tiring day. I wanted to share this with you all as a warm virtual hug, because I know we can all use a hug. I read your posts and sometimes I just don't have the words to express how deeply I empathize with you. So anyway, here is the hugs I promised! [video=h...

yankshirerose · yankshirerose

Someone told me a story about As and how they bend the situation that I thought was too good to not share. She told me about a friend who was heavily pregnant, with an AH, who'd recently moved house. The house needed work, and with a new baby coming as well, they needed to paint and decorate. The pregnan...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Hello my beautiful MIP family, I haven't been on for a while. I have been happily busy with my business so I have had a little/lot less free time to read and post. I want thank you all for you ongoing support through the hardest time of my life. I feel like I came to these boards a hopeless incoherent mess, w...

el-cee · el-cee

My son got justice today. Im happy for him but the what ifs are alive and kicking. What if he gets back on the drink now? What if it all starts again and something else happens to him? Ive been praying all week for the right outcome and it happened so I think i will keep on praying for my son. It seems to work.x

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Spent part of my morning at a funeral today. The lady we honored was a co-birthday person of mine. We were born on the same day many years apart. I was surprise because I didn't read her obituary fully. I read it on the program. Anyhow, she was a friend of my mom's as well. And as you know, my mom is in a mental f...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

My mind was quieter today and I was feeling more accepting of the situation in general. I mean what am I going to do, battle the windmills in my brain? Then the A just went and made things so much easier today. He had started ramping up his cycling again and it looks like he burned his last bridge with the lit...

bud · bud

Hi MIP family. I'm sorry I've been absent for a while- juggling so many things and trying not to drop anything... but pretty much just feeling super vulnerable and trying to throw a root down somewhere. I'm up late tonight, bothered by a trigger. Actually, it's a continuation of a trigger from las...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I can not help but feel resposible for my husband arrest . I was not feeling safe I left my house to go to a hotel no one new about. I was only going for the day to get my head cleared pray to my higher power for help . I was feeling unsure weather to bite the bullet and take my AH back home. Until he followed me to an...

Megan_E · Megan_E

My fiance' is 3 months sober after 5 years of binge drinking practically every day. While he was drinking, he was a compulsive liar. I was constantly catching him in lies that he told while drinking or about his drinking. Whether it was a big lie or a small lie, I couldn't trust a single thing he said. He wa...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Keeping My Mouth Shut .. Ohhhhhh myyyy is about all I can say at the moment. I need to take a BIG breath. Apparently my STBAX must have heard from his atty and must have been raked over the coals about more than a few things. Probably about paying the bills he just doesn't need to pay .. LOL .. I'm sure his a...

Jujubean · Jujubean

I have been dealing with this disease for 12 years now. Lots of pain the mistrust. Now I am retired and my husbanc is retiring in 2 days and I am wondering if I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have no faith in him. My trust is shattered and I dont know if I can be happy living like this. He says he...

Jen61 · Jen61

Even though it is a small book I have taken my time in reading it. I see myself in almost every page. I do think, for me, that this will be a book I can read again and again when I "slip" and say more than I should. I want to get healthy for me. I don't want to have that horrible feeling in the pit of...

Truth · Truth

I am so happy today. I love the days when the sun is shining. I get one task done and my son has an excellent day at daycare.

Sending all the new found Al-anon Family love and support today ......

Debilyn · Debilyn

Just had knee surgery. Its been hurting a year or more. Then the darn DVT started up again. (blood clots blocking veins) so that means meds injections done by me and oral meds. its NO stress. I say no even more now. am ok no energy or very little. do one thing at a time. allow me to do some work outside for jus...

Truth · Truth

So today at about 11am. Jekyll was gone and Hyde was back. Normal emails and communication. I like Hyde much easier to deal with. One more week and then freedom for a month.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Being productive is usually more along the lines of how to procrastinate and other not so healthy behaviors .. it's definitely something I'm working on because honestly .. I have used this on going legal battle to not face some of what I need to deal with .. kind of like dealing with the qualifier in my li...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

The past two days... Talk about a roller coaster. I'm posting from my phone so I hope this is semi coherent lol. So I had a great couple of days with experiencing some more breakthroughs in some difficult areas. I know I've received some potent blessings lately too:) but yesterday I sort of experienced...

el-cee · el-cee

A new difficulty has arisen. I have been waiting on it and its here. My son was at court to testify against the man who assaulted him last year. So, ive been supporting him. Hes been up to high dough, really anxious and has been kept waiting for 2 days to testify. Today he did and he was so relieved. That, all...

Truth · Truth

He is denying the abuse and pretending he is the agreeable one. I did react however, I set boundaries. I restated my boundary to him "if he continues to deny the abuse and harassment, I will have to report him to the police. " He tried to say the stories are made up again. He is pretending he is ag...

ann margaret · ann margaret

I don't think that it would be a struggle for me to accept that I am venturing into a new form of me. I have always wanted to have a nice life and to feel freedom from all of the aches. I felt that I belong in my al-Anon family because its a nice feeling to have that opportunity to finally see how a family should...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57392387/alanon-step-5/

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

So I haven't been here in a very long time. Something about typing my thoughts and feelings out makes them feel more real. AH was sober for about 3-4 months a couple years ago. It was a pretty nice time. But naturally, it slipped. Now, the drinking isn't as often as he used to, but more prolonged when...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Since my son was released a year ago from prison due to a technical violation of his parole, I have known that it was only a matter of time without his willingness to enter a recovery program in earnest that the disease would drag him back down. Instead of worrying about when the next shoe would drop, I ch...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Good morning all, I had a very long talk with two people last night my STBAX's s/mom who I used to be very close to and my sponsor. S/mom has been avoiding me as I wanted to talk to her before the kids started seeing her again .. she needed to be aware of why the parenting agreement is the way it is ... I had tal...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

feels like awhile since i have connected. . its been a strange and emotional couple of weeks. as you know about about a month ago i was planning my divorce. . and then i stayed. now after that must admitt i think my ah was shook up a bit. he adjusted his ways. made some effort and has been actuallt trying. hes...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I really think I hit the jackpot here. It is still very new and I am taking my time, but this guy seems so healthy. He has a great job and is a hard worker, great dad to his kids, is a softball coach for one of their teams and just seems so well rounded. We have been hanging out and talking and I am just amazed. He h...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

After my nice little outburst today, I left the house to get the emissions checked on the little car I bought in February. It hadn't passed the initial smog check and for lack of funds I had to get an extension so that I could do the repairs. My extension had expired a few days ago and I'd been so afraid that I...

PP · PP

As I was washing the dishes a few moments ago asking, "what do I do", I hear the words of a song "just breathe". To me that means attend to me and stay in this moment. The event that pushed me into this place was the news that my 11 year old granddaughter is displaying increased sig...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Apparently, A hit someone at work today. I actually sympathised for a while as he told me how this guy had "provoked him" until I realised..hang on...isn't that what he's always says about me? It's amazing that I bought into it at first. It's amazing that I always have bought into his tales o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Resentments?? (Preview) Not sure if it's resentment or not but I'm not happy. I think I'm getting a little to close to my son's situation and it's giving me hurt. When I have a video chat with him at home he is not changing in my eyes. I can't see any hope he's going to change and that in its self makes my hopes for him disappear. I...	Cathyinaz	12	597	May 6, 2014 by neshema2
	grateful for AlAnon :) (Preview) My soon to be exAH sent me crazy text messages and phone calls yesterday. He was obviously drunk. He was on a total blame game trip and blamed me and everyone for the troubles of his own making. At first I was strong and did not engage but after the last message I told him not to contact me anymore that I was mo...	texasgal	7	350	May 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	is getting them sober helping or hindering? (Preview) I know this is controversial but i worry that the getting them sober book is recommended to new comers at the expense of the full benefits of the alanon program. I read one volume and it is a good book with limited value, it is short and has very small bite size pieces of information and it can be empowering...	el-cee	33	807	May 6, 2014 by el-cee
	when the feelings die... (Preview) It's been a long time since I have posted here. it's been about 3 years of working my program and getting healthier but all the while still avoiding some serious decisions about my marriage to the AH. We have been separated for almost 3 years, but not divorced--we have 2 beautiful kids which we parent t...	sookie	8	519	May 6, 2014 by Ifnotforgrace
	A frivolous share about driving lessons :-) (Preview) I had a great driving lesson yesterday. I just love this instructor. I do believe together we're actually going to get me licensed and in the not-too-distant future! Yesterday we drove all around the city and I actually had FUN. Ha! She's good at seeing the areas where I make things harder for myself th...	Melly1248	12	513	May 6, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Back. Think I lost myself for a bit... (Preview) Hey there everyone. Things have, mostly, been good. But just recently I have felt old habits creeping in. I suspect drinking on his part, and not taking care of my own needs on mine. And the co-dependency...holy crap. 'See that old guy over there, how he's kinda haunches over? That's why you need to s...	SpiderArcana	8	577	May 6, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Lighten Up (Preview) This is my thought for today. What would happen if newcomers came into a room of grim-faced people clenching their chairs with white knuckles? They're coming from a place of overly-serious hyper vigilance, always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and they thought they could be happy with us? Thank...	WorkingThroughIt	3	280	May 6, 2014 by el-cee
	High Risk Behavior (Preview) So I had a brief discussion with the ex-a about what we will discuss in the mediation session. My main concern is having my son exposed to people who are displaying high risk behavior. He tried all the usual manipulations, denial, minimizing, making himself a victim, exposing my mistakes, phoning to...	Truth	5	415	May 6, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	I believe God is continuing to show me my Direction (Preview) I believe the Universe has given me as much pain as I need now. Definitely time to close some old doors and open new ones. I don't need to see it anymore...these vicious types... Over the past 24 hours I was on the exhausting, crazy train with yet another alcoholic who crossed my boundaries thinking it w...	WorkingThroughIt	9	473	May 5, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Dealing with mutual friend triggers years later..esh (Preview) Hello Sweet Ones. Its been a while. I need some ESH. I left my exA 2 years ago. Classic code/alcoholic relationship. Horrifying, painful, assaults, etc..just name it...it was probably there. I have not seen him or spoken to him. But, it appears that I am still afraid. I had a cluster this weekend...	CDK	9	415	May 5, 2014 by CDK
	Are you Joking? (Preview) Hello MIP Family,I have been checking in here, but mostly working on steps and doing on-line meetings and feeling better about MY recovery everyday! Got this from a friend and thought it was a joke but a lesson too, thought I would share:11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a...	MorningGlory	7	465	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	Two Updates (Preview) Two updates on various things. First, the meeting with my friend who was drunk on the phone. Well, so far I've weaseled out of that one, though I know the hard work is coming. He had to change the time he was coming, and meanwhile one of my pipes started leaking through the wall, so I just said, "Th...	Mattie	4	451	May 5, 2014 by ilovedogs
	New, Seeking and Kinda PO'd (Preview) I've been lurking here for a few weeks now. Also started back to attending meetings in my local area and recently got a sponsor with whom I am starting to do the steps. I'm reading a few of the daily readings and praying for my AW and also for guidance and direction. I'm what I have learned is called a "...	PleaseGodNoMore	14	487	May 5, 2014 by Onlyhope
	What are your favorite spring and summer flowers and colors? (Preview) After a harsh winter, MG's avatar of a beautiful morning glory is a reminder to me of some of my favorite springtime and summer colors and flowers. These blue hydrangea are especially precious to me because blue hydrangea are challenging to grow and can appear silvery depending on the blue hues and l...	grateful2be	35	1036	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	I have to be kind to....me!! An update (Preview) I wanted to give an update. And mention something I was afraid to mention before. But I am tired of being afraid to talk about the horrible things I have dealt with these last few months. I can be subtle without mentioning details and I think it's ok to do this so I can start to heal. My AH and I were coworkers...	Newlife girl	4	356	May 5, 2014 by milkwood
	My 3 daily readings today hit me so fresh and new it was amazing (Preview) After starting my day with my head in recovery. I had a counseling appointment that helped me to get balanced within regarding communicating my wants and needs to others. I went to the dentist and got a cleaning, worked out with a friend and I took my third final and got an A, I am happy right now. After s...	Breakingfree	5	386	May 5, 2014 by Breakingfree
	If I hear he has control over drinking 1 more time!!! (Preview) Alone with thoughts is a bad place to be - thoughts on my marriage to my AH - if you can call it that. There is no touch between us , there is NO trust in him, can't remember the last time something kind was said to me, and I am so sad. Trying to focus on kids and me but with 2 young kids its hard to not be around AH too...	Kerrymom	8	493	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	i love the new avatars (Preview) just saying. . i love everyones new flowery springy avatars. they make me smile when i read posts from you all. spring is taking forever to arrive here in my northeast state so these photos are of what is to come. . soon i hope. btw, i would upload one myself but from my tablet i cant seem to make it work,lol ;...	Theoceancalls	6	306	May 5, 2014 by Katy
	Going Forward Odaat (Preview) Well I'm officially out of a job but not quite. My job will end during the summer. I did apply for another in my dept. but it's been offered to someone else. I don't know who got it. I'm disappointed. The job was for my boss' boss who has her head on straight and is one of the few left who is holding tight to...	tiredtonite	6	320	May 4, 2014 by hotrod
	Scary Spring (Preview) Im feeling a bit anxious tonight, a bit on edge. I feel that one door has closed and another will inevitably open and its the fear of the unknown. What makes it worse is that where I live days last a long time in the spring and summer. During the winter when I felt this way the days ended quickly and in a way thi...	el-cee	16	565	May 4, 2014 by oldergal
	Would it be wrong? (Preview) It scares me when my AH drives....would it be wrong of me to call in a DUI driver in hopes he would get help? He would expect him mom to pay an attorney . If he had court ordered meetings?? The health insurance I found for him will pay for 30 days at a facility in Palm springs they only cost to us is flight and ab...	mamachief	5	460	May 4, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	the world needs a group hug! (Preview) Yep the world needs a group hug! I am especially in need of one today. No big deals, though, I just need my daily hug. So, it seems that days like today are sometimes rare but they happen when we least expect it. I am so grateful for the sunshine when it comes up here. Today it is kinda dreary but we had loads of...	Hoot Nanny	8	534	May 4, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	Need your ESH (Preview) So, things with my AH are awful right now. Neither one of us is filing but I think one of us should just jump in and do it. We hate each other, there is no communication and he blames me because I don't like having conversations with him. He knows why, it's been made clear. He's been told how to find recov...	ilovedogs	17	545	May 4, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Shaken up (Preview) I thought I had a handle on who were the alcoholics in my life. But I just had an experience that shook me up. I got a call from an old friend. He said he was coming through town tomorrow and he thought of me. I said, "Hey, let's get together!" This is a person I don't have any romantic history w...	Mattie	14	572	May 4, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	One up-man-ship - subtle violence (Preview) One of the things I appreciate on this board has to do with the lack of one up-man-ship that can often happen and does happen in some relationships and groups. Although I do see it on occasion - it is not the norm. Perhaps sharing our experience, strength and hope without correcting others or trying to...	grateful2be	14	542	May 4, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Hope is not a strategy... (Preview) I just read these words and thought what a great thing to share. "Remember that hope is not a strategy," she said. "Problems don't go away when you ignore them -- they get bigger." It reminded me of the "elephant in the room"	Truth	7	399	May 4, 2014 by milkwood
	Pregnant Scared & Running Away (Preview) 4 months pregnant now. I got pregnant because doctors told me i could never have a child so this was unexpected, esp. now i'm in my late 30's. During a relapse at Christmas with the exAH. He couldn't stay sober for a whole month, even after he knew about the pregnancy. A few weeks ago I had to leave for a...	abell	8	386	May 3, 2014 by Debilyn
	400 Miles Today (Preview) Hi Everyone My day started about 4am this morning. Got up got dressed got coffee and out the door by 5am. Took the trek up the hill to my x's house. Picked up him and his wife and we headed north to Flagstaff, AZ. Found the facility that had my son's personal items, laptop, computers etc etc etc. Next I...	Cathyinaz	10	406	May 3, 2014 by Beatrice
	He's coming home and I'm okay..... (Preview) Well, my AH is now a RAH. He did 30 days inpatient and another 45 in an Intensive outpatient while living in a 1/2 way house. He has learned all about his illness and what it did to our family. He was far from home so all our communication was by phone for the last 2 months, he sounds good and I am thankful...	jillybean1	8	424	May 3, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Turn of events and some explanation .. (Preview) Well now .. been an interesting turn of events today .. first thing first I got my headlight taken care of to the tune of 18$ thank goodness it's done! Got a few other things done I'm having to apply for aide for my power bill .. however .. it is what it is and if it's available .. I'm taking it. The other news...	SerenityRUS	6	472	May 3, 2014 by Truth
	job (Preview) I got the job!! :) I'm so excited and everything happened with such little effort and worry on my part. I know it was all my HP I am so very grateful. I move in a couple of months so I have time to look for apt and pack. I look at my life very differently today. My soon to be exAH is not in a good place and one of the la...	texasgal	12	416	May 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	More free hugs and warm fuzziness (Preview) I will be back on later tonight. it's been a busy tiring day. I wanted to share this with you all as a warm virtual hug, because I know we can all use a hug. I read your posts and sometimes I just don't have the words to express how deeply I empathize with you. So anyway, here is the hugs I promised! [video=h...	Raven Juniper	4	255	May 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	Story to share (Preview) Someone told me a story about As and how they bend the situation that I thought was too good to not share. She told me about a friend who was heavily pregnant, with an AH, who'd recently moved house. The house needed work, and with a new baby coming as well, they needed to paint and decorate. The pregnan...	yankshirerose	7	502	May 2, 2014 by Beatrice
	Just checkin in.. (Preview) Hello my beautiful MIP family, I haven't been on for a while. I have been happily busy with my business so I have had a little/lot less free time to read and post. I want thank you all for you ongoing support through the hardest time of my life. I feel like I came to these boards a hopeless incoherent mess, w...	sadsusie	3	388	May 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	praying (Preview) My son got justice today. Im happy for him but the what ifs are alive and kicking. What if he gets back on the drink now? What if it all starts again and something else happens to him? Ive been praying all week for the right outcome and it happened so I think i will keep on praying for my son. It seems to work.x	el-cee	5	252	May 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	so tired but I still get a lot done! (Preview) Spent part of my morning at a funeral today. The lady we honored was a co-birthday person of mine. We were born on the same day many years apart. I was surprise because I didn't read her obituary fully. I read it on the program. Anyhow, she was a friend of my mom's as well. And as you know, my mom is in a mental f...	Hoot Nanny	1	265	May 2, 2014 by el-cee
	Keeping it simple (Preview) My mind was quieter today and I was feeling more accepting of the situation in general. I mean what am I going to do, battle the windmills in my brain? Then the A just went and made things so much easier today. He had started ramping up his cycling again and it looks like he burned his last bridge with the lit...	Raven Juniper	3	323	May 2, 2014 by milkwood
	need help with trigger management (Preview) Hi MIP family. I'm sorry I've been absent for a while- juggling so many things and trying not to drop anything... but pretty much just feeling super vulnerable and trying to throw a root down somewhere. I'm up late tonight, bothered by a trigger. Actually, it's a continuation of a trigger from las...	bud	9	377	May 2, 2014 by bud
	Today is A very hard day (Preview) I can not help but feel resposible for my husband arrest . I was not feeling safe I left my house to go to a hotel no one new about. I was only going for the day to get my head cleared pray to my higher power for help . I was feeling unsure weather to bite the bullet and take my AH back home. Until he followed me to an...	Wisdom67	19	1043	May 2, 2014 by hotrod
	Lying while in recovery....How should I react? (Preview) My fiance' is 3 months sober after 5 years of binge drinking practically every day. While he was drinking, he was a compulsive liar. I was constantly catching him in lies that he told while drinking or about his drinking. Whether it was a big lie or a small lie, I couldn't trust a single thing he said. He wa...	Megan_E	23	1162	May 2, 2014 by Wisdom67
	KMMS .. Oi! (Preview) Keeping My Mouth Shut .. Ohhhhhh myyyy is about all I can say at the moment. I need to take a BIG breath. Apparently my STBAX must have heard from his atty and must have been raked over the coals about more than a few things. Probably about paying the bills he just doesn't need to pay .. LOL .. I'm sure his a...	SerenityRUS	12	377	May 2, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Wondering how to cope. (Preview) I have been dealing with this disease for 12 years now. Lots of pain the mistrust. Now I am retired and my husbanc is retiring in 2 days and I am wondering if I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have no faith in him. My trust is shattered and I dont know if I can be happy living like this. He says he...	Jujubean	5	549	May 1, 2014 by grateful2be
	Just finished reading Getting Them Sober (Preview) Even though it is a small book I have taken my time in reading it. I see myself in almost every page. I do think, for me, that this will be a book I can read again and again when I "slip" and say more than I should. I want to get healthy for me. I don't want to have that horrible feeling in the pit of...	Jen61	9	710	May 1, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Love These Days (Preview) I am so happy today. I love the days when the sun is shining. I get one task done and my son has an excellent day at daycare. Sending all the new found Al-anon Family love and support today ......	Truth	2	272	May 1, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Need to be brave and get info.... (Preview) Just had knee surgery. Its been hurting a year or more. Then the darn DVT started up again. (blood clots blocking veins) so that means meds injections done by me and oral meds. its NO stress. I say no even more now. am ok no energy or very little. do one thing at a time. allow me to do some work outside for jus...	Debilyn	6	454	May 1, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Back to the other behavior. (Preview) So today at about 11am. Jekyll was gone and Hyde was back. Normal emails and communication. I like Hyde much easier to deal with. One more week and then freedom for a month.	Truth	4	272	May 1, 2014 by Truth
	Being productive .. (Preview) Being productive is usually more along the lines of how to procrastinate and other not so healthy behaviors .. it's definitely something I'm working on because honestly .. I have used this on going legal battle to not face some of what I need to deal with .. kind of like dealing with the qualifier in my li...	SerenityRUS	5	402	May 1, 2014 by Truth
	The waiting is the hardest part (Preview) The past two days... Talk about a roller coaster. I'm posting from my phone so I hope this is semi coherent lol. So I had a great couple of days with experiencing some more breakthroughs in some difficult areas. I know I've received some potent blessings lately too:) but yesterday I sort of experienced...	Raven Juniper	7	532	May 1, 2014 by Breakingfree
	another reason to be grateful (Preview) A new difficulty has arisen. I have been waiting on it and its here. My son was at court to testify against the man who assaulted him last year. So, ive been supporting him. Hes been up to high dough, really anxious and has been kept waiting for 2 days to testify. Today he did and he was so relieved. That, all...	el-cee	7	395	May 1, 2014 by Breakingfree
	He has started it again.... (Preview) He is denying the abuse and pretending he is the agreeable one. I did react however, I set boundaries. I restated my boundary to him "if he continues to deny the abuse and harassment, I will have to report him to the police. " He tried to say the stories are made up again. He is pretending he is ag...	Truth	23	607	May 1, 2014 by yankshirerose
	on being brave in facing my new life..new beginning. (Preview) I don't think that it would be a struggle for me to accept that I am venturing into a new form of me. I have always wanted to have a nice life and to feel freedom from all of the aches. I felt that I belong in my al-Anon family because its a nice feeling to have that opportunity to finally see how a family should...	ann margaret	6	387	May 1, 2014 by Breakingfree
	STEP 5 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57392387/alanon-step-5/	hotrod	2	707	May 1, 2014 by hotrod
	I don't want to talk about it (Preview) So I haven't been here in a very long time. Something about typing my thoughts and feelings out makes them feel more real. AH was sober for about 3-4 months a couple years ago. It was a pretty nice time. But naturally, it slipped. Now, the drinking isn't as often as he used to, but more prolonged when...	Hot Chicka	12	495	Apr 30, 2014 by Theoceancalls
	My son (Preview) Since my son was released a year ago from prison due to a technical violation of his parole, I have known that it was only a matter of time without his willingness to enter a recovery program in earnest that the disease would drag him back down. Instead of worrying about when the next shoe would drop, I ch...	grateful2be	16	505	Apr 30, 2014 by Rose50
	Denial and other things .. (Preview) Good morning all, I had a very long talk with two people last night my STBAX's s/mom who I used to be very close to and my sponsor. S/mom has been avoiding me as I wanted to talk to her before the kids started seeing her again .. she needed to be aware of why the parenting agreement is the way it is ... I had tal...	SerenityRUS	8	467	Apr 30, 2014 by grateful2be
	doing ok (Preview) feels like awhile since i have connected. . its been a strange and emotional couple of weeks. as you know about about a month ago i was planning my divorce. . and then i stayed. now after that must admitt i think my ah was shook up a bit. he adjusted his ways. made some effort and has been actuallt trying. hes...	Theoceancalls	5	427	Apr 30, 2014 by Jen61
	Okay getting excited about the new man in my life..... (Preview) I really think I hit the jackpot here. It is still very new and I am taking my time, but this guy seems so healthy. He has a great job and is a hard worker, great dad to his kids, is a softball coach for one of their teams and just seems so well rounded. We have been hanging out and talking and I am just amazed. He h...	Breakingfree	11	394	Apr 30, 2014 by PP
	Mysterious ways (Preview) After my nice little outburst today, I left the house to get the emissions checked on the little car I bought in February. It hadn't passed the initial smog check and for lack of funds I had to get an extension so that I could do the repairs. My extension had expired a few days ago and I'd been so afraid that I...	Raven Juniper	7	438	Apr 30, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Just Breathe (Preview) As I was washing the dishes a few moments ago asking, "what do I do", I hear the words of a song "just breathe". To me that means attend to me and stay in this moment. The event that pushed me into this place was the news that my 11 year old granddaughter is displaying increased sig...	PP	15	561	Apr 29, 2014 by PP
	Oh Well. What am I going to do? (Preview) Apparently, A hit someone at work today. I actually sympathised for a while as he told me how this guy had "provoked him" until I realised..hang on...isn't that what he's always says about me? It's amazing that I bought into it at first. It's amazing that I always have bought into his tales o...	Melly1248	10	577	Apr 29, 2014 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.