Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

neshema2 · neshema2

Well, I thought I would stop by to say hello and check up on my fellow alanoners..... May spring bring us all new and good beginnings.........

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have my last final today and I will go spend time with her tomorrow. She seems to be fading fast and can barely stay awake when I call to check on her. They never had kids and her husband is so sweet and staying right by her side. I have so much I want to say to this wonderful Spirit, I just can't imagine my life...

Sunrise · Sunrise

I've been reading much about detachment lately. I'm trying not to let my AH's behavior get unhelpful reactions out of me. I'm trying to keep my mouth closed. I'm trying not to argue. Trying to say "you may be right." Then last night I engaged. My son wanted to watch tv. AH, son and I wer...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am more than making it--I am thriving. I love to get on here when I feel excellent!

karen18 · karen18

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting about 30 years ago. I had no idea the impact that Al-Anon would have on my whole life. I am an AUTHOR and have written a memoir of sorts detailing the painful and deliberate steps that I took over many years to finally recover from the disease of co-dependency.

sadsusie · sadsusie

Thank you Kenny for reminding me that I WILL still need to do my own therapy on these boards and continue my meetings. I had myself a mini fear session last night. I took it out on my "recovering" AH in not a particularly harsh way, but it was NOT how I want to feel or act or react. I was afraid of los...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

lol, wow. Here's a lesson in not trying to predict outcomes! I mentioned that A appears to be really crashing and burning in the real world and that I am just letting the crisis happen and doing what I need to for my girl and myself including job-hunting, house-hunting etc. I'm trying to make REAL choic...

neshema2 · neshema2

you all know about my having to separate from daughter #2 due to toxicity and abuse from her to me...well i separated from her AND my baby grandson who is innocent in this.....Sat. was his birthday and I did not get an invite that I recall....I called her to say "hey it was nice your party for Adrian...

Truth · Truth

I have my mediation session tomorrow. I was wondering if any of you would add me to your prayer list?

Gaby · Gaby

Yes my son relapsed again. And he's driving. Again he puts everything on me. He is staying with a friend is possibly going to lose his job and I know I have no control of nothing. I need to completely detach. I pray and pray. But this is taking a huge toll on me .. I love him but I hate his disease!!

hotrod · hotrod

Stephen KingBorn: 4 March 1966Passed Away: 6 May 2007Website: http://hotrod.last-memories.com/index.phpStephen King A heart of gold stopped beatingTwo shinning eyes at restGod broke my heartTo prove He only takes the best

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Not sure if it's resentment or not but I'm not happy. I think I'm getting a little to close to my son's situation and it's giving me hurt. When I have a video chat with him at home he is not changing in my eyes. I can't see any hope he's going to change and that in its self makes my hopes for him disappear. I...

texasgal · texasgal

My soon to be exAH sent me crazy text messages and phone calls yesterday. He was obviously drunk. He was on a total blame game trip and blamed me and everyone for the troubles of his own making. At first I was strong and did not engage but after the last message I told him not to contact me anymore that I was mo...

el-cee · el-cee

I know this is controversial but i worry that the getting them sober book is recommended to new comers at the expense of the full benefits of the alanon program. I read one volume and it is a good book with limited value, it is short and has very small bite size pieces of information and it can be empowering...

sookie · sookie

It's been a long time since I have posted here. it's been about 3 years of working my program and getting healthier but all the while still avoiding some serious decisions about my marriage to the AH. We have been separated for almost 3 years, but not divorced--we have 2 beautiful kids which we parent t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I had a great driving lesson yesterday. I just love this instructor. I do believe together we're actually going to get me licensed and in the not-too-distant future! Yesterday we drove all around the city and I actually had FUN. Ha! She's good at seeing the areas where I make things harder for myself th...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Hey there everyone. Things have, mostly, been good. But just recently I have felt old habits creeping in. I suspect drinking on his part, and not taking care of my own needs on mine. And the co-dependency...holy crap. 'See that old guy over there, how he's kinda haunches over? That's why you need to s...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

This is my thought for today. What would happen if newcomers came into a room of grim-faced people clenching their chairs with white knuckles? They're coming from a place of overly-serious hyper vigilance, always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and they thought they could be happy with us? Thank...

Truth · Truth

So I had a brief discussion with the ex-a about what we will discuss in the mediation session. My main concern is having my son exposed to people who are displaying high risk behavior. He tried all the usual manipulations, denial, minimizing, making himself a victim, exposing my mistakes, phoning to...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I believe the Universe has given me as much pain as I need now. Definitely time to close some old doors and open new ones. I don't need to see it anymore...these vicious types... Over the past 24 hours I was on the exhausting, crazy train with yet another alcoholic who crossed my boundaries thinking it w...

CDK · CDK

Hello Sweet Ones. Its been a while. I need some ESH. I left my exA 2 years ago. Classic code/alcoholic relationship. Horrifying, painful, assaults, etc..just name it...it was probably there. I have not seen him or spoken to him. But, it appears that I am still afraid. I had a cluster this weekend...

MorningGlory · MorningGlory

Hello MIP Family,I have been checking in here, but mostly working on steps and doing on-line meetings and feeling better about MY recovery everyday! Got this from a friend and thought it was a joke but a lesson too, thought I would share:11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a...

Mattie · Mattie

Two updates on various things. First, the meeting with my friend who was drunk on the phone. Well, so far I've weaseled out of that one, though I know the hard work is coming. He had to change the time he was coming, and meanwhile one of my pipes started leaking through the wall, so I just said, "Th...

PleaseGodNoMore · PleaseGodNoMore

I've been lurking here for a few weeks now. Also started back to attending meetings in my local area and recently got a sponsor with whom I am starting to do the steps. I'm reading a few of the daily readings and praying for my AW and also for guidance and direction. I'm what I have learned is called a "...

grateful2be · grateful2be

After a harsh winter, MG's avatar of a beautiful morning glory is a reminder to me of some of my favorite springtime and summer colors and flowers. These blue hydrangea are especially precious to me because blue hydrangea are challenging to grow and can appear silvery depending on the blue hues and l...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I wanted to give an update. And mention something I was afraid to mention before. But I am tired of being afraid to talk about the horrible things I have dealt with these last few months. I can be subtle without mentioning details and I think it's ok to do this so I can start to heal. My AH and I were coworkers...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

After starting my day with my head in recovery. I had a counseling appointment that helped me to get balanced within regarding communicating my wants and needs to others. I went to the dentist and got a cleaning, worked out with a friend and I took my third final and got an A, I am happy right now. After s...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Alone with thoughts is a bad place to be - thoughts on my marriage to my AH - if you can call it that. There is no touch between us , there is NO trust in him, can't remember the last time something kind was said to me, and I am so sad. Trying to focus on kids and me but with 2 young kids its hard to not be around AH too...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

just saying. . i love everyones new flowery springy avatars. they make me smile when i read posts from you all. spring is taking forever to arrive here in my northeast state so these photos are of what is to come. . soon i hope. btw, i would upload one myself but from my tablet i cant seem to make it work,lol ;...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Well I'm officially out of a job but not quite. My job will end during the summer. I did apply for another in my dept. but it's been offered to someone else. I don't know who got it. I'm disappointed. The job was for my boss' boss who has her head on straight and is one of the few left who is holding tight to...

el-cee · el-cee

Im feeling a bit anxious tonight, a bit on edge. I feel that one door has closed and another will inevitably open and its the fear of the unknown. What makes it worse is that where I live days last a long time in the spring and summer. During the winter when I felt this way the days ended quickly and in a way thi...

mamachief · mamachief

It scares me when my AH drives....would it be wrong of me to call in a DUI driver in hopes he would get help? He would expect him mom to pay an attorney . If he had court ordered meetings?? The health insurance I found for him will pay for 30 days at a facility in Palm springs they only cost to us is flight and ab...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yep the world needs a group hug! I am especially in need of one today. No big deals, though, I just need my daily hug. So, it seems that days like today are sometimes rare but they happen when we least expect it. I am so grateful for the sunshine when it comes up here. Today it is kinda dreary but we had loads of...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, things with my AH are awful right now. Neither one of us is filing but I think one of us should just jump in and do it. We hate each other, there is no communication and he blames me because I don't like having conversations with him. He knows why, it's been made clear. He's been told how to find recov...

Mattie · Mattie

I thought I had a handle on who were the alcoholics in my life. But I just had an experience that shook me up. I got a call from an old friend. He said he was coming through town tomorrow and he thought of me. I said, "Hey, let's get together!" This is a person I don't have any romantic history w...

grateful2be · grateful2be

One of the things I appreciate on this board has to do with the lack of one up-man-ship that can often happen and does happen in some relationships and groups. Although I do see it on occasion - it is not the norm. Perhaps sharing our experience, strength and hope without correcting others or trying to...

Truth · Truth

I just read these words and thought what a great thing to share. "Remember that hope is not a strategy," she said. "Problems don't go away when you ignore them -- they get bigger." It reminded me of the "elephant in the room"

abell · abell

4 months pregnant now. I got pregnant because doctors told me i could never have a child so this was unexpected, esp. now i'm in my late 30's. During a relapse at Christmas with the exAH. He couldn't stay sober for a whole month, even after he knew about the pregnancy. A few weeks ago I had to leave for a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone My day started about 4am this morning. Got up got dressed got coffee and out the door by 5am. Took the trek up the hill to my x's house. Picked up him and his wife and we headed north to Flagstaff, AZ. Found the facility that had my son's personal items, laptop, computers etc etc etc. Next I...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Well, my AH is now a RAH. He did 30 days inpatient and another 45 in an Intensive outpatient while living in a 1/2 way house. He has learned all about his illness and what it did to our family. He was far from home so all our communication was by phone for the last 2 months, he sounds good and I am thankful...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well now .. been an interesting turn of events today .. first thing first I got my headlight taken care of to the tune of 18$ thank goodness it's done! Got a few other things done I'm having to apply for aide for my power bill .. however .. it is what it is and if it's available .. I'm taking it. The other news...

texasgal · texasgal

I got the job!! :) I'm so excited and everything happened with such little effort and worry on my part. I know it was all my HP I am so very grateful. I move in a couple of months so I have time to look for apt and pack. I look at my life very differently today. My soon to be exAH is not in a good place and one of the la...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I will be back on later tonight. it's been a busy tiring day. I wanted to share this with you all as a warm virtual hug, because I know we can all use a hug. I read your posts and sometimes I just don't have the words to express how deeply I empathize with you. So anyway, here is the hugs I promised! [video=h...

yankshirerose · yankshirerose

Someone told me a story about As and how they bend the situation that I thought was too good to not share. She told me about a friend who was heavily pregnant, with an AH, who'd recently moved house. The house needed work, and with a new baby coming as well, they needed to paint and decorate. The pregnan...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Hello my beautiful MIP family, I haven't been on for a while. I have been happily busy with my business so I have had a little/lot less free time to read and post. I want thank you all for you ongoing support through the hardest time of my life. I feel like I came to these boards a hopeless incoherent mess, w...

el-cee · el-cee

My son got justice today. Im happy for him but the what ifs are alive and kicking. What if he gets back on the drink now? What if it all starts again and something else happens to him? Ive been praying all week for the right outcome and it happened so I think i will keep on praying for my son. It seems to work.x

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Spent part of my morning at a funeral today. The lady we honored was a co-birthday person of mine. We were born on the same day many years apart. I was surprise because I didn't read her obituary fully. I read it on the program. Anyhow, she was a friend of my mom's as well. And as you know, my mom is in a mental f...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

My mind was quieter today and I was feeling more accepting of the situation in general. I mean what am I going to do, battle the windmills in my brain? Then the A just went and made things so much easier today. He had started ramping up his cycling again and it looks like he burned his last bridge with the lit...

bud · bud

Hi MIP family. I'm sorry I've been absent for a while- juggling so many things and trying not to drop anything... but pretty much just feeling super vulnerable and trying to throw a root down somewhere. I'm up late tonight, bothered by a trigger. Actually, it's a continuation of a trigger from las...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I can not help but feel resposible for my husband arrest . I was not feeling safe I left my house to go to a hotel no one new about. I was only going for the day to get my head cleared pray to my higher power for help . I was feeling unsure weather to bite the bullet and take my AH back home. Until he followed me to an...

Megan_E · Megan_E

My fiance' is 3 months sober after 5 years of binge drinking practically every day. While he was drinking, he was a compulsive liar. I was constantly catching him in lies that he told while drinking or about his drinking. Whether it was a big lie or a small lie, I couldn't trust a single thing he said. He wa...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Keeping My Mouth Shut .. Ohhhhhh myyyy is about all I can say at the moment. I need to take a BIG breath. Apparently my STBAX must have heard from his atty and must have been raked over the coals about more than a few things. Probably about paying the bills he just doesn't need to pay .. LOL .. I'm sure his a...

Jujubean · Jujubean

I have been dealing with this disease for 12 years now. Lots of pain the mistrust. Now I am retired and my husbanc is retiring in 2 days and I am wondering if I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have no faith in him. My trust is shattered and I dont know if I can be happy living like this. He says he...

Jen61 · Jen61

Even though it is a small book I have taken my time in reading it. I see myself in almost every page. I do think, for me, that this will be a book I can read again and again when I "slip" and say more than I should. I want to get healthy for me. I don't want to have that horrible feeling in the pit of...

Truth · Truth

I am so happy today. I love the days when the sun is shining. I get one task done and my son has an excellent day at daycare.

Sending all the new found Al-anon Family love and support today ......

Debilyn · Debilyn

Just had knee surgery. Its been hurting a year or more. Then the darn DVT started up again. (blood clots blocking veins) so that means meds injections done by me and oral meds. its NO stress. I say no even more now. am ok no energy or very little. do one thing at a time. allow me to do some work outside for jus...

Truth · Truth

So today at about 11am. Jekyll was gone and Hyde was back. Normal emails and communication. I like Hyde much easier to deal with. One more week and then freedom for a month.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Being productive is usually more along the lines of how to procrastinate and other not so healthy behaviors .. it's definitely something I'm working on because honestly .. I have used this on going legal battle to not face some of what I need to deal with .. kind of like dealing with the qualifier in my li...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

The past two days... Talk about a roller coaster. I'm posting from my phone so I hope this is semi coherent lol. So I had a great couple of days with experiencing some more breakthroughs in some difficult areas. I know I've received some potent blessings lately too:) but yesterday I sort of experienced...

el-cee · el-cee

A new difficulty has arisen. I have been waiting on it and its here. My son was at court to testify against the man who assaulted him last year. So, ive been supporting him. Hes been up to high dough, really anxious and has been kept waiting for 2 days to testify. Today he did and he was so relieved. That, all...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Just stopping by to say hello (Preview) Well, I thought I would stop by to say hello and check up on my fellow alanoners..... May spring bring us all new and good beginnings.........	neshema2	5	281	May 7, 2014 by Rose50
	My sponsor who has been sooo instrumental in my recovery is in a nursing home now... (Preview) I have my last final today and I will go spend time with her tomorrow. She seems to be fading fast and can barely stay awake when I call to check on her. They never had kids and her husband is so sweet and staying right by her side. I have so much I want to say to this wonderful Spirit, I just can't imagine my life...	Breakingfree	13	428	May 7, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Detachment, Defending child, Losing that loving feeling (Preview) I've been reading much about detachment lately. I'm trying not to let my AH's behavior get unhelpful reactions out of me. I'm trying to keep my mouth closed. I'm trying not to argue. Trying to say "you may be right." Then last night I engaged. My son wanted to watch tv. AH, son and I wer...	Sunrise	6	558	May 7, 2014 by ct1203
	good day for sunshine (Preview) I am more than making it--I am thriving. I love to get on here when I feel excellent!	Hoot Nanny	1	236	May 7, 2014 by hotrod
	my personal story of hope... (Preview) I went to my first Al-Anon meeting about 30 years ago. I had no idea the impact that Al-Anon would have on my whole life. I am an AUTHOR and have written a memoir of sorts detailing the painful and deliberate steps that I took over many years to finally recover from the disease of co-dependency.	karen18	2	695	May 7, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	You (mip family) are right again; ) (Preview) Thank you Kenny for reminding me that I WILL still need to do my own therapy on these boards and continue my meetings. I had myself a mini fear session last night. I took it out on my "recovering" AH in not a particularly harsh way, but it was NOT how I want to feel or act or react. I was afraid of los...	sadsusie	8	499	May 7, 2014 by sadsusie
	We've noticed that your yearly ticket for the crazy-train is about to expire.... (Preview) lol, wow. Here's a lesson in not trying to predict outcomes! I mentioned that A appears to be really crashing and burning in the real world and that I am just letting the crisis happen and doing what I need to for my girl and myself including job-hunting, house-hunting etc. I'm trying to make REAL choic...	Melly1248	13	516	May 7, 2014 by yankshirerose
	I guess I am just going to trust that I am recovered enough.............. (Preview) you all know about my having to separate from daughter #2 due to toxicity and abuse from her to me...well i separated from her AND my baby grandson who is innocent in this.....Sat. was his birthday and I did not get an invite that I recall....I called her to say "hey it was nice your party for Adrian...	neshema2	6	368	May 7, 2014 by pinkchip
	Need Prayers (Preview) I have my mediation session tomorrow. I was wondering if any of you would add me to your prayer list?	Truth	9	408	May 7, 2014 by hotrod
	AGAIN!!! (Preview) Yes my son relapsed again. And he's driving. Again he puts everything on me. He is staying with a friend is possibly going to lose his job and I know I have no control of nothing. I need to completely detach. I pray and pray. But this is taking a huge toll on me .. I love him but I hate his disease!!	Gaby	8	437	May 6, 2014 by Jerry F
	Remembering my Son, Stephen who passed away from this disease 7 years ago tomorrow (Preview) Stephen KingBorn: 4 March 1966Passed Away: 6 May 2007Website: http://hotrod.last-memories.com/index.phpStephen King A heart of gold stopped beatingTwo shinning eyes at restGod broke my heartTo prove He only takes the best	hotrod	30	782	May 6, 2014 by neshema2
	Resentments?? (Preview) Not sure if it's resentment or not but I'm not happy. I think I'm getting a little to close to my son's situation and it's giving me hurt. When I have a video chat with him at home he is not changing in my eyes. I can't see any hope he's going to change and that in its self makes my hopes for him disappear. I...	Cathyinaz	12	635	May 6, 2014 by neshema2
	grateful for AlAnon :) (Preview) My soon to be exAH sent me crazy text messages and phone calls yesterday. He was obviously drunk. He was on a total blame game trip and blamed me and everyone for the troubles of his own making. At first I was strong and did not engage but after the last message I told him not to contact me anymore that I was mo...	texasgal	7	383	May 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	is getting them sober helping or hindering? (Preview) I know this is controversial but i worry that the getting them sober book is recommended to new comers at the expense of the full benefits of the alanon program. I read one volume and it is a good book with limited value, it is short and has very small bite size pieces of information and it can be empowering...	el-cee	33	855	May 6, 2014 by el-cee
	when the feelings die... (Preview) It's been a long time since I have posted here. it's been about 3 years of working my program and getting healthier but all the while still avoiding some serious decisions about my marriage to the AH. We have been separated for almost 3 years, but not divorced--we have 2 beautiful kids which we parent t...	sookie	8	553	May 6, 2014 by Ifnotforgrace
	A frivolous share about driving lessons :-) (Preview) I had a great driving lesson yesterday. I just love this instructor. I do believe together we're actually going to get me licensed and in the not-too-distant future! Yesterday we drove all around the city and I actually had FUN. Ha! She's good at seeing the areas where I make things harder for myself th...	Melly1248	12	549	May 6, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Back. Think I lost myself for a bit... (Preview) Hey there everyone. Things have, mostly, been good. But just recently I have felt old habits creeping in. I suspect drinking on his part, and not taking care of my own needs on mine. And the co-dependency...holy crap. 'See that old guy over there, how he's kinda haunches over? That's why you need to s...	SpiderArcana	8	616	May 6, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Lighten Up (Preview) This is my thought for today. What would happen if newcomers came into a room of grim-faced people clenching their chairs with white knuckles? They're coming from a place of overly-serious hyper vigilance, always waiting for the other shoe to drop - and they thought they could be happy with us? Thank...	WorkingThroughIt	3	311	May 6, 2014 by el-cee
	High Risk Behavior (Preview) So I had a brief discussion with the ex-a about what we will discuss in the mediation session. My main concern is having my son exposed to people who are displaying high risk behavior. He tried all the usual manipulations, denial, minimizing, making himself a victim, exposing my mistakes, phoning to...	Truth	5	451	May 6, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	I believe God is continuing to show me my Direction (Preview) I believe the Universe has given me as much pain as I need now. Definitely time to close some old doors and open new ones. I don't need to see it anymore...these vicious types... Over the past 24 hours I was on the exhausting, crazy train with yet another alcoholic who crossed my boundaries thinking it w...	WorkingThroughIt	9	505	May 5, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Dealing with mutual friend triggers years later..esh (Preview) Hello Sweet Ones. Its been a while. I need some ESH. I left my exA 2 years ago. Classic code/alcoholic relationship. Horrifying, painful, assaults, etc..just name it...it was probably there. I have not seen him or spoken to him. But, it appears that I am still afraid. I had a cluster this weekend...	CDK	9	446	May 5, 2014 by CDK
	Are you Joking? (Preview) Hello MIP Family,I have been checking in here, but mostly working on steps and doing on-line meetings and feeling better about MY recovery everyday! Got this from a friend and thought it was a joke but a lesson too, thought I would share:11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a...	MorningGlory	7	498	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	Two Updates (Preview) Two updates on various things. First, the meeting with my friend who was drunk on the phone. Well, so far I've weaseled out of that one, though I know the hard work is coming. He had to change the time he was coming, and meanwhile one of my pipes started leaking through the wall, so I just said, "Th...	Mattie	4	483	May 5, 2014 by ilovedogs
	New, Seeking and Kinda PO'd (Preview) I've been lurking here for a few weeks now. Also started back to attending meetings in my local area and recently got a sponsor with whom I am starting to do the steps. I'm reading a few of the daily readings and praying for my AW and also for guidance and direction. I'm what I have learned is called a "...	PleaseGodNoMore	14	518	May 5, 2014 by Onlyhope
	What are your favorite spring and summer flowers and colors? (Preview) After a harsh winter, MG's avatar of a beautiful morning glory is a reminder to me of some of my favorite springtime and summer colors and flowers. These blue hydrangea are especially precious to me because blue hydrangea are challenging to grow and can appear silvery depending on the blue hues and l...	grateful2be	35	1129	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	I have to be kind to....me!! An update (Preview) I wanted to give an update. And mention something I was afraid to mention before. But I am tired of being afraid to talk about the horrible things I have dealt with these last few months. I can be subtle without mentioning details and I think it's ok to do this so I can start to heal. My AH and I were coworkers...	Newlife girl	4	387	May 5, 2014 by milkwood
	My 3 daily readings today hit me so fresh and new it was amazing (Preview) After starting my day with my head in recovery. I had a counseling appointment that helped me to get balanced within regarding communicating my wants and needs to others. I went to the dentist and got a cleaning, worked out with a friend and I took my third final and got an A, I am happy right now. After s...	Breakingfree	5	424	May 5, 2014 by Breakingfree
	If I hear he has control over drinking 1 more time!!! (Preview) Alone with thoughts is a bad place to be - thoughts on my marriage to my AH - if you can call it that. There is no touch between us , there is NO trust in him, can't remember the last time something kind was said to me, and I am so sad. Trying to focus on kids and me but with 2 young kids its hard to not be around AH too...	Kerrymom	8	528	May 5, 2014 by el-cee
	i love the new avatars (Preview) just saying. . i love everyones new flowery springy avatars. they make me smile when i read posts from you all. spring is taking forever to arrive here in my northeast state so these photos are of what is to come. . soon i hope. btw, i would upload one myself but from my tablet i cant seem to make it work,lol ;...	Theoceancalls	6	340	May 5, 2014 by Katy
	Going Forward Odaat (Preview) Well I'm officially out of a job but not quite. My job will end during the summer. I did apply for another in my dept. but it's been offered to someone else. I don't know who got it. I'm disappointed. The job was for my boss' boss who has her head on straight and is one of the few left who is holding tight to...	tiredtonite	6	354	May 4, 2014 by hotrod
	Scary Spring (Preview) Im feeling a bit anxious tonight, a bit on edge. I feel that one door has closed and another will inevitably open and its the fear of the unknown. What makes it worse is that where I live days last a long time in the spring and summer. During the winter when I felt this way the days ended quickly and in a way thi...	el-cee	16	601	May 4, 2014 by oldergal
	Would it be wrong? (Preview) It scares me when my AH drives....would it be wrong of me to call in a DUI driver in hopes he would get help? He would expect him mom to pay an attorney . If he had court ordered meetings?? The health insurance I found for him will pay for 30 days at a facility in Palm springs they only cost to us is flight and ab...	mamachief	5	493	May 4, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	the world needs a group hug! (Preview) Yep the world needs a group hug! I am especially in need of one today. No big deals, though, I just need my daily hug. So, it seems that days like today are sometimes rare but they happen when we least expect it. I am so grateful for the sunshine when it comes up here. Today it is kinda dreary but we had loads of...	Hoot Nanny	8	589	May 4, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	Need your ESH (Preview) So, things with my AH are awful right now. Neither one of us is filing but I think one of us should just jump in and do it. We hate each other, there is no communication and he blames me because I don't like having conversations with him. He knows why, it's been made clear. He's been told how to find recov...	ilovedogs	17	576	May 4, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Shaken up (Preview) I thought I had a handle on who were the alcoholics in my life. But I just had an experience that shook me up. I got a call from an old friend. He said he was coming through town tomorrow and he thought of me. I said, "Hey, let's get together!" This is a person I don't have any romantic history w...	Mattie	14	609	May 4, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	One up-man-ship - subtle violence (Preview) One of the things I appreciate on this board has to do with the lack of one up-man-ship that can often happen and does happen in some relationships and groups. Although I do see it on occasion - it is not the norm. Perhaps sharing our experience, strength and hope without correcting others or trying to...	grateful2be	14	577	May 4, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Hope is not a strategy... (Preview) I just read these words and thought what a great thing to share. "Remember that hope is not a strategy," she said. "Problems don't go away when you ignore them -- they get bigger." It reminded me of the "elephant in the room"	Truth	7	432	May 4, 2014 by milkwood
	Pregnant Scared & Running Away (Preview) 4 months pregnant now. I got pregnant because doctors told me i could never have a child so this was unexpected, esp. now i'm in my late 30's. During a relapse at Christmas with the exAH. He couldn't stay sober for a whole month, even after he knew about the pregnancy. A few weeks ago I had to leave for a...	abell	8	417	May 3, 2014 by Debilyn
	400 Miles Today (Preview) Hi Everyone My day started about 4am this morning. Got up got dressed got coffee and out the door by 5am. Took the trek up the hill to my x's house. Picked up him and his wife and we headed north to Flagstaff, AZ. Found the facility that had my son's personal items, laptop, computers etc etc etc. Next I...	Cathyinaz	10	438	May 3, 2014 by Beatrice
	He's coming home and I'm okay..... (Preview) Well, my AH is now a RAH. He did 30 days inpatient and another 45 in an Intensive outpatient while living in a 1/2 way house. He has learned all about his illness and what it did to our family. He was far from home so all our communication was by phone for the last 2 months, he sounds good and I am thankful...	jillybean1	8	456	May 3, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Turn of events and some explanation .. (Preview) Well now .. been an interesting turn of events today .. first thing first I got my headlight taken care of to the tune of 18$ thank goodness it's done! Got a few other things done I'm having to apply for aide for my power bill .. however .. it is what it is and if it's available .. I'm taking it. The other news...	SerenityRUS	6	503	May 3, 2014 by Truth
	job (Preview) I got the job!! :) I'm so excited and everything happened with such little effort and worry on my part. I know it was all my HP I am so very grateful. I move in a couple of months so I have time to look for apt and pack. I look at my life very differently today. My soon to be exAH is not in a good place and one of the la...	texasgal	12	448	May 3, 2014 by grateful2be
	More free hugs and warm fuzziness (Preview) I will be back on later tonight. it's been a busy tiring day. I wanted to share this with you all as a warm virtual hug, because I know we can all use a hug. I read your posts and sometimes I just don't have the words to express how deeply I empathize with you. So anyway, here is the hugs I promised! [video=h...	Raven Juniper	4	287	May 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	Story to share (Preview) Someone told me a story about As and how they bend the situation that I thought was too good to not share. She told me about a friend who was heavily pregnant, with an AH, who'd recently moved house. The house needed work, and with a new baby coming as well, they needed to paint and decorate. The pregnan...	yankshirerose	7	538	May 2, 2014 by Beatrice
	Just checkin in.. (Preview) Hello my beautiful MIP family, I haven't been on for a while. I have been happily busy with my business so I have had a little/lot less free time to read and post. I want thank you all for you ongoing support through the hardest time of my life. I feel like I came to these boards a hopeless incoherent mess, w...	sadsusie	3	422	May 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	praying (Preview) My son got justice today. Im happy for him but the what ifs are alive and kicking. What if he gets back on the drink now? What if it all starts again and something else happens to him? Ive been praying all week for the right outcome and it happened so I think i will keep on praying for my son. It seems to work.x	el-cee	5	289	May 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	so tired but I still get a lot done! (Preview) Spent part of my morning at a funeral today. The lady we honored was a co-birthday person of mine. We were born on the same day many years apart. I was surprise because I didn't read her obituary fully. I read it on the program. Anyhow, she was a friend of my mom's as well. And as you know, my mom is in a mental f...	Hoot Nanny	1	300	May 2, 2014 by el-cee
	Keeping it simple (Preview) My mind was quieter today and I was feeling more accepting of the situation in general. I mean what am I going to do, battle the windmills in my brain? Then the A just went and made things so much easier today. He had started ramping up his cycling again and it looks like he burned his last bridge with the lit...	Raven Juniper	3	354	May 2, 2014 by milkwood
	need help with trigger management (Preview) Hi MIP family. I'm sorry I've been absent for a while- juggling so many things and trying not to drop anything... but pretty much just feeling super vulnerable and trying to throw a root down somewhere. I'm up late tonight, bothered by a trigger. Actually, it's a continuation of a trigger from las...	bud	9	406	May 2, 2014 by bud
	Today is A very hard day (Preview) I can not help but feel resposible for my husband arrest . I was not feeling safe I left my house to go to a hotel no one new about. I was only going for the day to get my head cleared pray to my higher power for help . I was feeling unsure weather to bite the bullet and take my AH back home. Until he followed me to an...	Wisdom67	19	1097	May 2, 2014 by hotrod
	Lying while in recovery....How should I react? (Preview) My fiance' is 3 months sober after 5 years of binge drinking practically every day. While he was drinking, he was a compulsive liar. I was constantly catching him in lies that he told while drinking or about his drinking. Whether it was a big lie or a small lie, I couldn't trust a single thing he said. He wa...	Megan_E	23	1203	May 2, 2014 by Wisdom67
	KMMS .. Oi! (Preview) Keeping My Mouth Shut .. Ohhhhhh myyyy is about all I can say at the moment. I need to take a BIG breath. Apparently my STBAX must have heard from his atty and must have been raked over the coals about more than a few things. Probably about paying the bills he just doesn't need to pay .. LOL .. I'm sure his a...	SerenityRUS	12	409	May 2, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Wondering how to cope. (Preview) I have been dealing with this disease for 12 years now. Lots of pain the mistrust. Now I am retired and my husbanc is retiring in 2 days and I am wondering if I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have no faith in him. My trust is shattered and I dont know if I can be happy living like this. He says he...	Jujubean	5	581	May 1, 2014 by grateful2be
	Just finished reading Getting Them Sober (Preview) Even though it is a small book I have taken my time in reading it. I see myself in almost every page. I do think, for me, that this will be a book I can read again and again when I "slip" and say more than I should. I want to get healthy for me. I don't want to have that horrible feeling in the pit of...	Jen61	9	742	May 1, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Love These Days (Preview) I am so happy today. I love the days when the sun is shining. I get one task done and my son has an excellent day at daycare. Sending all the new found Al-anon Family love and support today ......	Truth	2	303	May 1, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Need to be brave and get info.... (Preview) Just had knee surgery. Its been hurting a year or more. Then the darn DVT started up again. (blood clots blocking veins) so that means meds injections done by me and oral meds. its NO stress. I say no even more now. am ok no energy or very little. do one thing at a time. allow me to do some work outside for jus...	Debilyn	6	486	May 1, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Back to the other behavior. (Preview) So today at about 11am. Jekyll was gone and Hyde was back. Normal emails and communication. I like Hyde much easier to deal with. One more week and then freedom for a month.	Truth	4	306	May 1, 2014 by Truth
	Being productive .. (Preview) Being productive is usually more along the lines of how to procrastinate and other not so healthy behaviors .. it's definitely something I'm working on because honestly .. I have used this on going legal battle to not face some of what I need to deal with .. kind of like dealing with the qualifier in my li...	SerenityRUS	5	434	May 1, 2014 by Truth
	The waiting is the hardest part (Preview) The past two days... Talk about a roller coaster. I'm posting from my phone so I hope this is semi coherent lol. So I had a great couple of days with experiencing some more breakthroughs in some difficult areas. I know I've received some potent blessings lately too:) but yesterday I sort of experienced...	Raven Juniper	7	566	May 1, 2014 by Breakingfree
	another reason to be grateful (Preview) A new difficulty has arisen. I have been waiting on it and its here. My son was at court to testify against the man who assaulted him last year. So, ive been supporting him. Hes been up to high dough, really anxious and has been kept waiting for 2 days to testify. Today he did and he was so relieved. That, all...	el-cee	7	428	May 1, 2014 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.