Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

NL14 · NL14

It's a good thing he isn't home now because I need to detach and calm down before we talk. AH had a meeting with his company's HR dept today about a contract they were asking him to sign. It was legitimately a grossly unfair contract and he was justified in being unwilling to sign it. He told me ahead of time...

Luiza · Luiza

STBXAH is very passive aggressive. Even on a good day. I used to ignore or give it back. But now I can't ignore anymore. I just can't put up with anything from him anymore, specially in front of our daughter. She is observing more than ever and I would fail if I let her think you should allow people (spe...

andromeda · andromeda

My AH made a comment this AM and I'm not sure what to do with it or how to respond. Backstory: My mom and her husband are coming to visit in early November for my son's 16th birthday. I told my AH about their visit last week and told him we'd do the sleeping arrangements like last time. I put the futon mattre...

grateful2be · grateful2be

My grandson is in his high school Marching Band. Yesterday was their first competition. I was excited about going and then ended up with what I call a flare up of "my glop" and couldn't go. There were many storms predicted and that happened in his travels to the HS football field where he w...

Debb · Debb

I know that you should never take the verbal abuse personally, it is the disease ... but it is sometimes scarey for me when my AH comes at me like a mad dog. We have some furnace working that was suppose to start at noon today and AH took a half day and I work til 11:30am on Fridays. I got home in 35 minutes an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been so long since I posted on here; almost 5 mos. I was & still am a bit sick. I went through a rough time when my mom left for CA in May. But, low & behold she ended up coming back up here for a visit & ended up back in the hospital & committed this time. What a long journey it has been for b...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Currently, I have no active A's in my life, but I still try to make it to meetings and support my fellow Al-Anon members. One member and I have become good friends over the past year. She is going through some huge challenges right now: the loss of her job, possible loss of a place to live, estrangement wit...

vm54 · vm54

Many people have mentioned about how living with an A is like a rollercoaster. I believe it, because just when I think there is hope, it disappears. My married A daughter came back for a week (only leaving during the day to meet the alcoholic guy she had been with). Her husband found texts from this oth...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So...once again...today I am feeling like I just want to spend time with my daughter and her father (AH). I want to pretend like everything is ok so I can salve my emotional codependency. I want him to just give me a back rub like he used to. I want to visit with him like he wanted to visit with me a week ago......

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well since I been divorce I noticed my need to save ppl suddenly went a way UNTIL I went out on a day date and things were going good sitting at the bar which I wouldn't be caught dead at before . Ordered dinner he ordered a beer and I had my favorite drink of all times water with lemon and lime. My date say well t...

lookingup · lookingup

How do I go about getting. me a sponsor? I know I have to get to know the other alononers well but do I or can I just come out and ask for a sponsor I'm wanting to begin my 12 step work so bad.i just don't know what to do. Or where to start..

lgnutah · lgnutah

My AD suffers from depression, anxiety, self medicates with prescription medicines and with alcohol She is not in any kind of recovery program, in fact doesn't see she has a alcohol or drug abuse problem. Last week a dear (guy) friend (also A and prescription drug abusing) of hers committed suicide...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah has been in the basement the whole weekend. He was about 30 days sober. I don't think it has been 30 days anymore because I found a bottle of vodka under the coach, his normal stashing place. When I got on the chat room last night I learned not to control what happens and not care either way if he fails An...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Decided to take a walk....going down the road. took a header and landed on the knee. Dang it cut right to the bone just below the knee and on the knee. ER visit and 12 stitches later I'm home and relaxing. Lets see what going to be on the menu next week. ((( hugs )))

lookingup · lookingup

That was last nights topin here in mip was an awesome meeting like always glad I got to be there I've been really sick for over a week now with upperrespitory infections that don't seem to go away ,we had lots of shares on this topic I found it. Rey interesting although I didn't share ,only way we can help th...

Advocate_For_Steve · Advocate_For_Steve

Hello, friends! Something that's been on my mind, that I hope will be helpful in sharing (in the hopes of getting your feedback): My A is currently my fiance; we've been together for almost a year and a half. Her addiction is inactive, and has been for six months now. However, shortly after we became eng...

el-cee · el-cee

I am independant. I havent always been independant. I left my mums care, home, rules, influence and moved In with my exh at a young age, where I depended on him for my happiness, love, care, attention. Ive always worked and contributed financially mainly because his jobs came and went due to his chro...

littlelionman · littlelionman

I've gotten some great feedback about where I'm at with my marriage and I thank everyone for the support. I have a question since it seems my marriage is slightly different than most other people's experiences with alcoholics. From what I've read and heard, most people seem to have the highest leve...

IMEE · IMEE

Hello, I am new to this group and never sought help. I am married with one child and my husband has been an alcoholic for the past several years. Although there are days when things are normal, I always prepare my self when I get home from work that my husband is either throwing up or in bed pretending tha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm feeling pretty low today. I'm having no luck finding a place to live. The real estate agent has become unfriendly and today suggested I should move to another town. I was puzzled, she's always been friendly. I now learn A has been on a gambling binge and has not been paying his share of the rent, it is a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Was sitting outside before with kitty in my lap. He was rolling around in the sun being the happiest, purriest kitty in the world, enjoying belly scratches and rubbing his teeth on my face which I think passes for kissing in kitty-world. And then 2 birds landed in the yard and kitty changed...suddenly...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Happy Friday Everyone Over this couple of years it had been my AS I was detaching from and now I'm working on detaching from my SO. I am taking it one step/one day at a time. Well after two weeks I now leave for work without waking him up or bring him coffee...something I have done for 20 years with resent...

Mel-gfj · Mel-gfj

so i am having a hard time dealing with all my resentments and right now they are all directed towards my mother. although there is a long list including my own faults. things lately are crazy between her and i. i relize there will never be a true relationship between us but i it hurts and just sucks!!! she...

Temple · Temple

Today another woman took part of her power back. And an Angel got its wings. And I don't mean to exclude our brothers. There are men on here who have suffered/are suffering, as well. I have a friend who is being double-teamed by diseases in the generation before and the one after him, and it is devastat...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I awakened today grateful for a host of things. I made sure to identify them for myself and some with my sponsor. After running a few errands and doing some things I needed to do around my home, I went outside to sit in the sun - aware that I'm probably catching a cold and it wouldn't hurt to place my body in...

joker · joker

its hard for me to believe my abf, has now been sober for 13 days. This is a man that could not stay sober for more than 3 days. He says he is thinking and feeling so much better and feels hope. He has been praying daily and reading his bible and going to AA meetings. Not everyday but when I drive him to a meeting...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi all. I am new here and would appreciate advise on how to handle my AH. He has really bad mood swings, very negative and manipulates conversations until I am confused about my feelings. I have been having really bad anxiety, yet the thought of leaving him gives me even more anxiety. Can anyone expl...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I'm sure everyone who has an A adult child has confronted this issue. You are at a social gathering and meet up with someone from your (now adult) child's past. Or you are at a grocery store or somewhere public, and you run into someone a few times a year (not someone you care to share every detail of your...

el-cee · el-cee

Its a dreecht nicht the nicht but its the night when my country has spoken either for or against independence. I cant see around corners only my hp can so my vote was based on my limited view and understanding. I have faith that whatever it is, 6am this morn, it will be the right decision. Thanks alanon, t...

Luz2014 · Luz2014

Hi there. First of all, I want to say that I've been reading a lot of these posts and I appreciate how everyone directs us back to ourselves. I grew up with a mom who was a child of an alcoholic; I'm grateful that I did not have an alcoholic in my immediate family. But it is all around us in her family and I've g...

Collateral Damage · Collateral Damage

Hello. I am the wife of an alcoholic. We've been married for 14 years, 12 of which he's been an alcoholic. We have an 11 year old daughter (read: she's never known her father to be sober). We have started over financially four times already due to his drinking, and I am now dealing with round 5. Two w...

Jessmine · Jessmine

My AH says if our marriage ends, then he will kill himself. I have no doubt that he will. And he won't wait -- he'll do it right away. I have no doubt. Please help. He has been to inpatient treatment 9 times. The last time for 4 months. I don't know what to do & would appreciate any advice. I cannot live w...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Need to spend all of my waking hours listening to and for HP so I can attempt to gain and maintain my peace of mind and serenity. Stay the course. Will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. (((((MIP)))))

sookie · sookie

So, my AH, who moved out 3 years ago, and I are finally going for a divorce. It's been pretty awful in terms of the financial impact on me (I have a great job--he works 15 hours a week for minimum wage--so I am screwed with the spousal support, etc...) plus he has decided he agrees with the law and is entitled...

Spur · Spur

I'm already detached from my AH and we live separate lives however, the kids don't see him for who he is and that's okay, but I do worry that one day they'll realize fathers are suppose to be more than what they got. So, last week my daughter who's a senior asked if she could have her class out here for a bonfi...

Spur · Spur

I have been reading several books on recovery but this one really speaks to me and I'd like to recommend it to everyone here. Author is Lisa Frederiksen. -- Edited by Spur on Wednesday 17th of September 2014 12:52:12 PM

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I sold my van when I moved and that was about what .. 5 months ago. I gave all of the necessary paperwork I did not have a title to the van (I lost it) I had my STBAX, my self and the woman who bought sign what I was given from the DMV. Fast forward 2-3 months into that mess I am contacted saying she needs a POA s...

Luiza · Luiza

I spent the whole day feeling so happy. After two days off work STBXH went out to work early and I finally could relax at home a bit more. I kept imagining all the changes I will do once he moves out, how I will organise the furniture, how I will keep the home and specially my bedroom nice and clean (mission im...

littlelionman · littlelionman

I know in al anon they say to not make any major life decisions for at least 6 months after your first meeting. Considering how often my perspective has changed/evolved over the last 7 weeks since my first meeting I can see why! Here's where I'm at and how I got here: At my first meeting I had to admit my w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, another little house has come up, within my price-range. It just appeared on the local real estate website. Don't know if it's pet-friendly....fingers crossed...it's perfect so far from what i can see...I will go and check it out tomorrow and put in an application if so. Otherwise it's going t...

Katy · Katy

I am verging on thinking it's my codependency, so I came home after six weeks away, I came home because he kept asking me to, telling me he missed me, I came home because I missed him, I missed parts of us and our life together, and my family unit, what I didn't miss was the manipulation, the total lack of re...

Seahorse7 · Seahorse7

first time ever having this kind of interaction about this topic. I'm an introverted non joiner and have avoided al anon meetings for that reason. But I am so lonely now, I need help. I don't have many friends And my family is not the type i can turn to. My high functioning AH of almost 20 years is wonder...

jm · jm

Hi all don't post often but need to now. Its 520am and I'm finding it hard to sleep. Finally got my ex to leave the house yesterday as I could no longer put up with his madness and my anger would be very bad when he would start with his mad thinking (no excuse I know I have to work on anger). But when I was droppi...

PP · PP

This forum and my al anon stuff is keeping me in a sane groove these past few days. I had a rough weekend and, as a result, I was in an overly sensitive space and misinterpreted something my husband had said. There was no fighting or loud words, but I did express my hurt and my perceptions and a bit of minor...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I have been attending Al-Anon f2f meetings weekly for almost 5 months, and I come here to fill the gap between my meetings. I want to thank each of you for your ESH for without you all and my f2f meetings, I'm not sure where I would be. I have begun working step 4 (am working from Blueprint for Progress, Al-...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Tonight AH asked me to bring him over some ginger ale and Immodium. He had been having diarrhea all day I guess. At first I said yes. Then when I got off the phone I texted him back and said I didn't feel right doing it. So I didn't do it. he later told me he drove to the store and got it himself...then he quickly...

Temple · Temple

A beautiful, slender, rather small bright yellow bird just landed in the hackberry tree outside my window. He'was breathtaking. A little grey on his back. Is he a wild canary? When we lived in Oklahoma City, there was a wonderful woman who was married to one of the control freaks in Husband's compa...

phiphi · phiphi

HELP ! I am not sure about how to deal with this. I depend on my AH for finances. I gave up my job three years ago when my baby was born and even though I start working next year my earnings can never be enough to support the family. So it looks like I will be dependent on him all my life. The problem is, AH seems t...

missmeliss · missmeliss

We went to a friends for lunch today, and when I arrived I realised, I didn't have my phone with me. Now I've known this friend for a year or so and when I started going over, I would check my phone constantly. It was usually a Sunday, I had usually been fighting with ABF and I was usually in a state of awful tur...

Kah27 · Kah27

I don't even know where to start. This year has been a roller coaster that never seems to end. ofcourse I never seem to get off of it. I had a chance to leave my ah a week ago. Lease was almost up he had gone to the strip club yet again this time drinking and driving home. I was staying with my parents prepared to...

Beulah · Beulah

Hi all, I have a 53 year old brother who retired early (because of a buy-out), has no wife/children, nor responsibilities. He retired to the mountains in an area where he is surrounded by a lot of extended family in a small town in Virginia. He went through rehab and was clean/sober from 1997 to 2010. I...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hello everyone! Sometimes I find myself really having great debates with myself, when I catch myself I say OOOPs and remember to turn it over, relax, etc. Lately my debate with myself comes about when every time I attend a house activity with my AH, I am bombarded with his housemates, counselors, croi...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

There are a few things that I have come to realize in terms of the divorce and how long that it's taken. That is a good thing. I could have done without the expense .. there is a reason it did take this long and I am feeling mentally and emotionally healthier than I have for a long time. Like since I left my f...

vm54 · vm54

Our daughter has been gone for days at a time for the last month saying she was working 80 - 90 hours a week. She has gambling and alcohol addictions, but she just recently admitted the alcohol problem. She gambled heavily in June and July with huge losses, but then turned almost exclusively to alcohol...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi all would like some advice about when to tackle issues with AH. He's been really stressed at work & has a very high powered job. This was his excuse for binging this week which resulted in him having an awful hangover, clearly annoyed at himself for using drink to escape & him taking time off w...

Temple · Temple

I think recovery will perhaps mean being surprised at nothing. Not there yet. Here's the story: When DDH spent his 6 months or so in AA many, many years ago, he met a man who was apparently in pretty bad shape. And I guess husband was doing a 12 step exercise, because he gave him my bicycle--without aski...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Liam Neeson. On GMA. Now! Thank you, HP! And now, he's gone from the screen. Oh, well. All good things must come to an end. -- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 17th of September 2014 07:49:25 AM

andromeda · andromeda

Yep, it's all my fault, just ask him. AH approached me today to figure out when we're going to do this separation. Putting pressure on me to iron out details and find a job, etc. I told him that we had agreed that I would finish our son's sophomore year and that I needed time to get my resume together, etc...

Temple · Temple

Don't know how to cut and paste a link here. You can probably Google it. Kerry Washington is working to raise awareness of financial abuse. She says that is the reason so many women stay. Good for her! Temple

Temple · Temple

Is that a plaid dog, or is wearing a sweater? Hugs, Temple

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	AH quit his job. Trying to remember my tools... (Preview) It's a good thing he isn't home now because I need to detach and calm down before we talk. AH had a meeting with his company's HR dept today about a contract they were asking him to sign. It was legitimately a grossly unfair contract and he was justified in being unwilling to sign it. He told me ahead of time...	NL14	11	499	Sep 23, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Passive-agressive behaviour (Preview) STBXAH is very passive aggressive. Even on a good day. I used to ignore or give it back. But now I can't ignore anymore. I just can't put up with anything from him anymore, specially in front of our daughter. She is observing more than ever and I would fail if I let her think you should allow people (spe...	Luiza	12	565	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Dilemma (Preview) My AH made a comment this AM and I'm not sure what to do with it or how to respond. Backstory: My mom and her husband are coming to visit in early November for my son's 16th birthday. I told my AH about their visit last week and told him we'd do the sleeping arrangements like last time. I put the futon mattre...	andromeda	18	588	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Rainbows and the underdog (Preview) My grandson is in his high school Marching Band. Yesterday was their first competition. I was excited about going and then ended up with what I call a flare up of "my glop" and couldn't go. There were many storms predicted and that happened in his travels to the HS football field where he w...	grateful2be	18	552	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Just need a little reminding ... It's the week-end!! ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I know that you should never take the verbal abuse personally, it is the disease ... but it is sometimes scarey for me when my AH comes at me like a mad dog. We have some furnace working that was suppose to start at noon today and AH took a half day and I work til 11:30am on Fridays. I got home in 35 minutes an...	Debb	45	846	Sep 23, 2014 by Luiza
	man, it has been a long time! Did you miss me? (Preview) It has been so long since I posted on here; almost 5 mos. I was & still am a bit sick. I went through a rough time when my mom left for CA in May. But, low & behold she ended up coming back up here for a visit & ended up back in the hospital & committed this time. What a long journey it has been for b...	Hoot Nanny	6	386	Sep 23, 2014 by milkwood
	Supporting Fellow Al-Anoners (Preview) Currently, I have no active A's in my life, but I still try to make it to meetings and support my fellow Al-Anon members. One member and I have become good friends over the past year. She is going through some huge challenges right now: the loss of her job, possible loss of a place to live, estrangement wit...	Green Eyes	13	588	Sep 22, 2014 by Green Eyes
	Difficult Choices (Preview) Many people have mentioned about how living with an A is like a rollercoaster. I believe it, because just when I think there is hope, it disappears. My married A daughter came back for a week (only leaving during the day to meet the alcoholic guy she had been with). Her husband found texts from this oth...	vm54	11	600	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	I will do different things today to avoid doing what I think I want to do (Preview) So...once again...today I am feeling like I just want to spend time with my daughter and her father (AH). I want to pretend like everything is ok so I can salve my emotional codependency. I want him to just give me a back rub like he used to. I want to visit with him like he wanted to visit with me a week ago......	Newlife girl	8	502	Sep 22, 2014 by yanksfan51
	Old habits started to creep up again (Preview) Well since I been divorce I noticed my need to save ppl suddenly went a way UNTIL I went out on a day date and things were going good sitting at the bar which I wouldn't be caught dead at before . Ordered dinner he ordered a beer and I had my favorite drink of all times water with lemon and lime. My date say well t...	Wisdom67	11	451	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	Getting a sponser (Preview) How do I go about getting. me a sponsor? I know I have to get to know the other alononers well but do I or can I just come out and ask for a sponsor I'm wanting to begin my 12 step work so bad.i just don't know what to do. Or where to start..	lookingup	6	407	Sep 22, 2014 by lookingup
	inappropriate comment? (Preview) My AD suffers from depression, anxiety, self medicates with prescription medicines and with alcohol She is not in any kind of recovery program, in fact doesn't see she has a alcohol or drug abuse problem. Last week a dear (guy) friend (also A and prescription drug abusing) of hers committed suicide...	lgnutah	4	504	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	Went to first meeting online, and applied what I learned immediately! (Preview) My ah has been in the basement the whole weekend. He was about 30 days sober. I don't think it has been 30 days anymore because I found a bottle of vodka under the coach, his normal stashing place. When I got on the chat room last night I learned not to control what happens and not care either way if he fails An...	Helpangel	6	560	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	This weeks accident (Preview) Decided to take a walk....going down the road. took a header and landed on the knee. Dang it cut right to the bone just below the knee and on the knee. ER visit and 12 stitches later I'm home and relaxing. Lets see what going to be on the menu next week. ((( hugs )))	Cathyinaz	15	385	Sep 22, 2014 by el-cee
	Helping the alcohoilc (Preview) That was last nights topin here in mip was an awesome meeting like always glad I got to be there I've been really sick for over a week now with upperrespitory infections that don't seem to go away ,we had lots of shares on this topic I found it. Rey interesting although I didn't share ,only way we can help th...	lookingup	8	474	Sep 22, 2014 by lookingup
	Tigers Are Not Good Pets AA Al-Anon engaged breakup fear projecting disease (Preview) Hello, friends! Something that's been on my mind, that I hope will be helpful in sharing (in the hopes of getting your feedback): My A is currently my fiance; we've been together for almost a year and a half. Her addiction is inactive, and has been for six months now. However, shortly after we became eng...	Advocate_For_Steve	14	9764	Sep 22, 2014 by PP
	independant (Preview) I am independant. I havent always been independant. I left my mums care, home, rules, influence and moved In with my exh at a young age, where I depended on him for my happiness, love, care, attention. Ive always worked and contributed financially mainly because his jobs came and went due to his chro...	el-cee	8	560	Sep 22, 2014 by jm
	A question about conflict in marriage (Preview) I've gotten some great feedback about where I'm at with my marriage and I thank everyone for the support. I have a question since it seems my marriage is slightly different than most other people's experiences with alcoholics. From what I've read and heard, most people seem to have the highest leve...	littlelionman	15	642	Sep 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	Feeling very frustrated (Preview) Hello, I am new to this group and never sought help. I am married with one child and my husband has been an alcoholic for the past several years. Although there are days when things are normal, I always prepare my self when I get home from work that my husband is either throwing up or in bed pretending tha...	IMEE	7	568	Sep 21, 2014 by cloudyskies
	My big friday whinge. (Preview) I'm feeling pretty low today. I'm having no luck finding a place to live. The real estate agent has become unfriendly and today suggested I should move to another town. I was puzzled, she's always been friendly. I now learn A has been on a gambling binge and has not been paying his share of the rent, it is a...	missmeliss	30	768	Sep 21, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	A cat is a cat. (Preview) Was sitting outside before with kitty in my lap. He was rolling around in the sun being the happiest, purriest kitty in the world, enjoying belly scratches and rubbing his teeth on my face which I think passes for kissing in kitty-world. And then 2 birds landed in the yard and kitty changed...suddenly...	missmeliss	7	260	Sep 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	Little Changes that make it right (Preview) Happy Friday Everyone Over this couple of years it had been my AS I was detaching from and now I'm working on detaching from my SO. I am taking it one step/one day at a time. Well after two weeks I now leave for work without waking him up or bring him coffee...something I have done for 20 years with resent...	Cathyinaz	12	601	Sep 21, 2014 by andromeda
	resentments (Preview) so i am having a hard time dealing with all my resentments and right now they are all directed towards my mother. although there is a long list including my own faults. things lately are crazy between her and i. i relize there will never be a true relationship between us but i it hurts and just sucks!!! she...	Mel-gfj	9	518	Sep 21, 2014 by PP
	Starting a new topic in hopes everybody will read it. (Preview) Today another woman took part of her power back. And an Angel got its wings. And I don't mean to exclude our brothers. There are men on here who have suffered/are suffering, as well. I have a friend who is being double-teamed by diseases in the generation before and the one after him, and it is devastat...	Temple	8	463	Sep 21, 2014 by PP
	Surprises and gratitude (Preview) I awakened today grateful for a host of things. I made sure to identify them for myself and some with my sponsor. After running a few errands and doing some things I needed to do around my home, I went outside to sit in the sun - aware that I'm probably catching a cold and it wouldn't hurt to place my body in...	grateful2be	13	423	Sep 21, 2014 by PP
	a miracle (Preview) its hard for me to believe my abf, has now been sober for 13 days. This is a man that could not stay sober for more than 3 days. He says he is thinking and feeling so much better and feels hope. He has been praying daily and reading his bible and going to AA meetings. Not everyday but when I drive him to a meeting...	joker	4	451	Sep 20, 2014 by cloudyskies
	New and need advice about AH and 30 days dry (Preview) Hi all. I am new here and would appreciate advise on how to handle my AH. He has really bad mood swings, very negative and manipulates conversations until I am confused about my feelings. I have been having really bad anxiety, yet the thought of leaving him gives me even more anxiety. Can anyone expl...	Helpangel	11	478	Sep 20, 2014 by hotrod
	so, how do you answer their questions about your adult alcoholic child without sounding curt? (Preview) I'm sure everyone who has an A adult child has confronted this issue. You are at a social gathering and meet up with someone from your (now adult) child's past. Or you are at a grocery store or somewhere public, and you run into someone a few times a year (not someone you care to share every detail of your...	lgnutah	3	442	Sep 20, 2014 by Debilyn
	the power of prayer (Preview) Its a dreecht nicht the nicht but its the night when my country has spoken either for or against independence. I cant see around corners only my hp can so my vote was based on my limited view and understanding. I have faith that whatever it is, 6am this morn, it will be the right decision. Thanks alanon, t...	el-cee	14	512	Sep 20, 2014 by Debb
	Supporting my cousin? (Preview) Hi there. First of all, I want to say that I've been reading a lot of these posts and I appreciate how everyone directs us back to ourselves. I grew up with a mom who was a child of an alcoholic; I'm grateful that I did not have an alcoholic in my immediate family. But it is all around us in her family and I've g...	Luz2014	4	606	Sep 20, 2014 by Luz2014
	New here .... (Preview) Hello. I am the wife of an alcoholic. We've been married for 14 years, 12 of which he's been an alcoholic. We have an 11 year old daughter (read: she's never known her father to be sober). We have started over financially four times already due to his drinking, and I am now dealing with round 5. Two w...	Collateral Damage	8	472	Sep 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	Suicide (Preview) My AH says if our marriage ends, then he will kill himself. I have no doubt that he will. And he won't wait -- he'll do it right away. I have no doubt. Please help. He has been to inpatient treatment 9 times. The last time for 4 months. I don't know what to do & would appreciate any advice. I cannot live w...	Jessmine	13	793	Sep 20, 2014 by lgnutah
	Going quiet for now. (Preview) Need to spend all of my waking hours listening to and for HP so I can attempt to gain and maintain my peace of mind and serenity. Stay the course. Will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. (((((MIP)))))	Jerry F	17	624	Sep 19, 2014 by bud
	a light at the end of the tunnel (Preview) So, my AH, who moved out 3 years ago, and I are finally going for a divorce. It's been pretty awful in terms of the financial impact on me (I have a great job--he works 15 hours a week for minimum wage--so I am screwed with the spousal support, etc...) plus he has decided he agrees with the law and is entitled...	sookie	10	545	Sep 19, 2014 by Debb
	Same Ol' Same Ol' (Preview) I'm already detached from my AH and we live separate lives however, the kids don't see him for who he is and that's okay, but I do worry that one day they'll realize fathers are suppose to be more than what they got. So, last week my daughter who's a senior asked if she could have her class out here for a bonfi...	Spur	13	632	Sep 19, 2014 by Hullibee
	If You Loved Me You'd Stop-Read It (Preview) I have been reading several books on recovery but this one really speaks to me and I'd like to recommend it to everyone here. Author is Lisa Frederiksen. -- Edited by Spur on Wednesday 17th of September 2014 12:52:12 PM	Spur	10	486	Sep 19, 2014 by Flower49
	My karma with Cars .. LOL (Preview) So I sold my van when I moved and that was about what .. 5 months ago. I gave all of the necessary paperwork I did not have a title to the van (I lost it) I had my STBAX, my self and the woman who bought sign what I was given from the DMV. Fast forward 2-3 months into that mess I am contacted saying she needs a POA s...	SerenityRUS	4	475	Sep 19, 2014 by bud
	Lots of mixed emotions (Preview) I spent the whole day feeling so happy. After two days off work STBXH went out to work early and I finally could relax at home a bit more. I kept imagining all the changes I will do once he moves out, how I will organise the furniture, how I will keep the home and specially my bedroom nice and clean (mission im...	Luiza	5	481	Sep 19, 2014 by Luiza
	I don't see how our marriage can work (Preview) I know in al anon they say to not make any major life decisions for at least 6 months after your first meeting. Considering how often my perspective has changed/evolved over the last 7 weeks since my first meeting I can see why! Here's where I'm at and how I got here: At my first meeting I had to admit my w...	littlelionman	17	1074	Sep 19, 2014 by Spur
	Let's try that again :-) ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Well, another little house has come up, within my price-range. It just appeared on the local real estate website. Don't know if it's pet-friendly....fingers crossed...it's perfect so far from what i can see...I will go and check it out tomorrow and put in an application if so. Otherwise it's going t...	missmeliss	42	1113	Sep 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	love or codepedency? (Preview) I am verging on thinking it's my codependency, so I came home after six weeks away, I came home because he kept asking me to, telling me he missed me, I came home because I missed him, I missed parts of us and our life together, and my family unit, what I didn't miss was the manipulation, the total lack of re...	Katy	10	501	Sep 18, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Lonely in my marriage (Preview) first time ever having this kind of interaction about this topic. I'm an introverted non joiner and have avoided al anon meetings for that reason. But I am so lonely now, I need help. I don't have many friends And my family is not the type i can turn to. My high functioning AH of almost 20 years is wonder...	Seahorse7	7	510	Sep 18, 2014 by Debilyn
	Games people will play (Preview) Hi all don't post often but need to now. Its 520am and I'm finding it hard to sleep. Finally got my ex to leave the house yesterday as I could no longer put up with his madness and my anger would be very bad when he would start with his mad thinking (no excuse I know I have to work on anger). But when I was droppi...	jm	7	605	Sep 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	Cancelled Vacation (Preview) This forum and my al anon stuff is keeping me in a sane groove these past few days. I had a rough weekend and, as a result, I was in an overly sensitive space and misinterpreted something my husband had said. There was no fighting or loud words, but I did express my hurt and my perceptions and a bit of minor...	PP	30	772	Sep 18, 2014 by PP
	I am learning how to forgive myself. (Preview) I have been attending Al-Anon f2f meetings weekly for almost 5 months, and I come here to fill the gap between my meetings. I want to thank each of you for your ESH for without you all and my f2f meetings, I'm not sure where I would be. I have begun working step 4 (am working from Blueprint for Progress, Al-...	cloudyskies	9	547	Sep 18, 2014 by Debilyn
	Can't decide if I made the right decision (Preview) Tonight AH asked me to bring him over some ginger ale and Immodium. He had been having diarrhea all day I guess. At first I said yes. Then when I got off the phone I texted him back and said I didn't feel right doing it. So I didn't do it. he later told me he drove to the store and got it himself...then he quickly...	Newlife girl	4	447	Sep 18, 2014 by Advocate_For_Steve
	Any Birders on here? (Preview) A beautiful, slender, rather small bright yellow bird just landed in the hackberry tree outside my window. He'was breathtaking. A little grey on his back. Is he a wild canary? When we lived in Oklahoma City, there was a wonderful woman who was married to one of the control freaks in Husband's compa...	Temple	28	415	Sep 18, 2014 by PP
	Being so dependent my alcoholic (Preview) HELP ! I am not sure about how to deal with this. I depend on my AH for finances. I gave up my job three years ago when my baby was born and even though I start working next year my earnings can never be enough to support the family. So it looks like I will be dependent on him all my life. The problem is, AH seems t...	phiphi	8	467	Sep 18, 2014 by hotrod
	Yay for Sunday. (Preview) We went to a friends for lunch today, and when I arrived I realised, I didn't have my phone with me. Now I've known this friend for a year or so and when I started going over, I would check my phone constantly. It was usually a Sunday, I had usually been fighting with ABF and I was usually in a state of awful tur...	missmeliss	6	396	Sep 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	I don't know what to do (Preview) I don't even know where to start. This year has been a roller coaster that never seems to end. ofcourse I never seem to get off of it. I had a chance to leave my ah a week ago. Lease was almost up he had gone to the strip club yet again this time drinking and driving home. I was staying with my parents prepared to...	Kah27	4	642	Sep 17, 2014 by Kah27
	First Message on Board - Advice needed (Preview) Hi all, I have a 53 year old brother who retired early (because of a buy-out), has no wife/children, nor responsibilities. He retired to the mountains in an area where he is surrounded by a lot of extended family in a small town in Virginia. He went through rehab and was clean/sober from 1997 to 2010. I...	Beulah	4	831	Sep 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Debating myself (Preview) Hello everyone! Sometimes I find myself really having great debates with myself, when I catch myself I say OOOPs and remember to turn it over, relax, etc. Lately my debate with myself comes about when every time I attend a house activity with my AH, I am bombarded with his housemates, counselors, croi...	Flower49	9	646	Sep 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	New Truths for me .. (Preview) There are a few things that I have come to realize in terms of the divorce and how long that it's taken. That is a good thing. I could have done without the expense .. there is a reason it did take this long and I am feeling mentally and emotionally healthier than I have for a long time. Like since I left my f...	SerenityRUS	11	627	Sep 17, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Advice For Alcoholic Daughter Wanting To Come Home (Preview) Our daughter has been gone for days at a time for the last month saying she was working 80 - 90 hours a week. She has gambling and alcohol addictions, but she just recently admitted the alcohol problem. She gambled heavily in June and July with huge losses, but then turned almost exclusively to alcohol...	vm54	4	477	Sep 17, 2014 by hotrod
	When to detach & when to speak? (Preview) Hi all would like some advice about when to tackle issues with AH. He's been really stressed at work & has a very high powered job. This was his excuse for binging this week which resulted in him having an awful hangover, clearly annoyed at himself for using drink to escape & him taking time off w...	Tash2	19	648	Sep 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	Want to hear a funny? (Preview) I think recovery will perhaps mean being surprised at nothing. Not there yet. Here's the story: When DDH spent his 6 months or so in AA many, many years ago, he met a man who was apparently in pretty bad shape. And I guess husband was doing a 12 step exercise, because he gave him my bicycle--without aski...	Temple	15	578	Sep 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Gratitude List (Preview) Liam Neeson. On GMA. Now! Thank you, HP! And now, he's gone from the screen. Oh, well. All good things must come to an end. -- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 17th of September 2014 07:49:25 AM	grateful2be	13	396	Sep 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	It's all my fault (Preview) Yep, it's all my fault, just ask him. AH approached me today to figure out when we're going to do this separation. Putting pressure on me to iron out details and find a job, etc. I told him that we had agreed that I would finish our son's sophomore year and that I needed time to get my resume together, etc...	andromeda	23	869	Sep 17, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Kerry Washington on Financial Abuse (Preview) Don't know how to cut and paste a link here. You can probably Google it. Kerry Washington is working to raise awareness of financial abuse. She says that is the reason so many women stay. Good for her! Temple	Temple	3	375	Sep 17, 2014 by Temple
	Debilyn, I just have to asK: (Preview) Is that a plaid dog, or is wearing a sweater? Hugs, Temple	Temple	14	716	Sep 16, 2014 by Flower49
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.