Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Sallygcoe · Sallygcoe

Good morning, I am I great need of advice on what is the right thing to say to a dry drunk! My A son has recently gotten to the point where he has stopped or so he says drinking/druggin sometimes. He/We have been on this awful roller coaster for about a month. I am diligently trying to work my al-anon progra...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Please help me figure this one out. AH tries to point the finger at me all the time. I feel crazy...again. When he tries to make me feel bad, it works! I don't want to feel bad any more! About a week ago, he said it wold be awkward if he went to daughters bday party with my mom and sister there. He told me and dau...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I've been thinking a lot recently about the Bible story of the master giving his servants different numbers of talents, one got ten, one five and one received just one or two - not being an expert on the book, that is the gist I remember from the story, the details being less important than the message. Th...

lulu0603 · lulu0603

my husband is an alcoholic and has been for many years. his favorite choice is whiskey. for months now i have been stressed and depressed. it is so hard feeling like this all the time. my feelings are taking a toll on my children. i have been married to my husband for 11 years but the past year and a half has...

Mirandac · Mirandac

my mother wants to visit me with her bf for a few days and I really am not up for that. I am still in the grieving and mourning stage of my marriage Ending. She wanted to come when AH was still here and we were not getting along i said no. I had been down to visit her in June for 4 nights With my two sisters. she is...

Gaby · Gaby

missmeliss · missmeliss

3 weeks until the final, non-negotiable eviction date. All real estate applications unsuccessful. The rent is weeks behind thanks to A's latest gambling binge so, there's pretty much no hope of anyone approving an application at this stage. I simply don't have the money to pay his share; I don't hav...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I need all the ESH I can get today. This might be long, but I would appreciate any wisdom and encouragement I can get. I am thinking of a few statements I've heard here. "Don't go to the hardware store for bread." Today I heard a great one "I learned to listen with my eyes" (love it!) s...

andromeda · andromeda

Ok, so I had a VERY long talk with my sponsor last night about my concerns for my son. Mostly my fears revolve around his academics and my homeschooling of him. I worry constantly that I've let him down. I didn't know how to teach to his learning disabilities, I didn't place enough pressure on him or te...

Gailey · Gailey

and has not gone to one meeting yet. How disappointing! I am sure that he was drinking the day after he came out. I have to say that I was totally shocked about it. I have refrained from confronting him about it. What good would it do? I really can not be around him much anymore....drinking or not drinking....

Diva · Diva

That's me today. I lay on the sofa in the Key West room late this morning and slept through a couple of really bad morning programs, then decided to get up and get the body going. I went to Wal Mart to get business sized envelopes and found they had taken all the office "stuff" and stuffed it so...

Gaby · Gaby

Well it's been a while.. I'm doing ok, I am alive and taking life one second at a time. As far as my son, he is incarcerated and I thank god for intervening!! Mean while.. I have gone to visit him and when he gets released, he is going into a one year rehab program.. I will continue with my face to face meetings...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well it happened. My SO got laid off today and right now I'm a little lost. All I can do is let HP show me the way to do what is necessary to make ends meet. Me thinks it's time to sell the house sooner than later. My SO....he's a mess and is very mad at the world.....and I'm included because I won't marry hi...

Luiza · Luiza

So today the school where I work is closed for staff training and team building. I was invited by the bosses to attend the day. It meant that I had to take time off from my second job and arrange someone to take care of my daughter. It has been an interesting experience. First of all I arrive on the time I was t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...I've been peeking and I know you know cause I've been tapped a few times as I listened and learned more. I'm still quiet and have changed direction toward taking care of some of my needs as I've been taught and suggested. News...my sponsee who was lost on Oahu with his mother when the tr...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My cousin is home & seems to be safe now. I have to call her daughter still & get some details. Me, I am anxious & sad about a few things. I have made some somewhat major decisions lately. One: I decided not to fly for my 30th HS class reunion. I can't even go at all because I fear the worst. I know m...

ceak · ceak

First, I'd like to say that I'm thankful I found a group like this. Personally, I'm not in recovery, but my husband is. In all honestly, I really wish we had a NARAnon group closer to me becase I could really use it. Here's the BG - 10 months ago my husband decided to become clean and sober. He would drink occ...

sookie · sookie

If someone is on probation for multiple DUIs, are they not supposed to be drinking at all during that time? I know my AH has smoked pot (probably 2 months ago) and is probably drinking again. We are separated. If I called the police, would he get in major trouble--could they even do tests to see if he has be...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I need huge prayers for my cousin who has seemed to run away after a huge bout w/ depression & pain. She left her home in her van to travel many miles away to go to a church she basically grew up in on a day that most churches are closed. She has taken off before on foot to go see her son. She recently moved aw...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Little sister got in touch with me last night. She lives out of home part time- that means she wants somewhere to keep her large family of pet rats (she can't have them at my parents house anymore as my mum is allergic) but still has a bed and stuff at my parents and stays there when she has school. Before you...

Southerngirl · Southerngirl

Last month I discovered a local Al-Anon group and I can already see that this is going to change my life. My husband of 21 years is an opiate addict on maintenance meds, so it never really occurred to me to find an alcoholics anonymous group. He's not an alcoholic. I had looked for a nar-anon group and ther...

jm · jm

Hi all... that's exactly what I want to know. I read my different recovery books in the morning. I write in my journal. I pray and try and listen. But my ex sends a text and tells me he wont survive unless he comes back home. He was drinking yesterday and he drank twice here in the last month. So I text back 'wh...

shortyj1978 · shortyj1978

I'm new to the forum but really have no one to talk to and am looking for some support and guidance. My sister entered rehab almost three months ago after living at my house. It was a very devastating time as we are close. I had to set boundaries and ask her to leave. Our family then banded together to come up...

Venera · Venera

Hi! Any esh would be great!! I am trying to not get myself punished by my own boundaries. After last AH's binge and my extreme reaction I had decided to not be around him while he is drinking which would include parties and outing. Instead of being in a restaurant worrying would that margarita lead to a ne...

cwya · cwya

I too have been away. I've had to deal with a lot in trying to find affordable housing. I was pretty much stranded up in the mountains with program people who just don't get it. The women told me if I wanted to connect with people I needed to go out to lunch with the ladies after the meeting. Pretty grim. The...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Ah dear. I've been listening to long recordings of things like crackling camp-fires and rain drumming on the roof, waves crashing to shore etc to sleep at night and, i have to say, i am sleeping very deeply and awake feeling almost cleansed, it's interesting how deep an effect it has on my sleep and stat...

grateful2be · grateful2be

A cartoon shows a dusty skeleton sitting in an office chair in front of a computer. In it's left hand is a telephone. An automatic voice keeps repeating, "Please stay on the line. Your call is very important to us." Sometimes, I can carry patience to the extreme, too. -- Edited by gratef...

Flower49 · Flower49

Giving and taking has been on my mind quite a bit! I have noticed that it seems I do an awful lot of giving and doing. These thoughts came to me after the weekend visit with my AH at the sober living house. During the course of our discussion he indicated that he was sad I wasn't sending so many letters to him e...

Lookingforanswers9 · Lookingforanswers9

Hello All! I will start by saying I wish anyone reading this good luck with whatever you are dealing with. I am trying to find a good site with discussion boards on drug addicts. I have been enabling one for far too long. I am at my breaking point. He has been on drugs for over a decade. It began with pain p...

Temple · Temple

Just saw a headline on AOL: Oklahoma City gun range with liquor license set to open this week. Well, that's just got good idea written all over it, hasn't it? Bless us and Keep us. Temple

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all i have been coming on this site for a while sometimes daily sometimes less often but I always return it has helped me so so much. Today my parter is active after two years dry attending AA but did not work the steps. He is progressing but I am detached with love but can not watch anymore. He broke a boun...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry AH is trying to get me out of the house. He did not like the home appraisal that came back, too high. He also had his business assets appraised real low. I knew ah would start playing dirty. He lives at his gf mostly and some at his mothers, now he states he needs to live at our home and i that I can not af...

vm54 · vm54

Our daughter drives drunk, all the time. She has come home to pick up belongings several times drunk. Our family has a difference of opinion about what should be done.Should someone call the police and tell them she is drunk driving? What if she is not drunk enough to be over the legal limit?Should s...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I met with my sponsee this afternoon who made it home with his near terminal mother from being on another island, homeless and on the streets for 8 days after being turned away from rehabilitation after she was approved for it. Dear God I thought I was catching heat and now understand that quite ofte...

Newpaths · Newpaths

I've been going to 3-4 different Alanon meetings each week for the last 4 months. I've made numerous attempts to find a sponsor. I've spent time getting familiar with other members learning who's been there long enough to even sponsor. If those few Ive tried i either have been encourage to find a sp...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Daughter has a friend staying with us. Rather than staying at home trying to do things one handed and being angry and sad, I decided, stuff it, the weather is nice, the packing and cleaning aren't going anywhere, and I need to get a bit healthier and happier before I am going to make any headway with this j...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I like I said have recently returned to MIP but it feels like I never left. I feel so much support out there. It is refreshing to know that you are all still out there. I noticed some familiar names too. You are all gems! I miss the closeness I felt on here. I can't believe sometimes how much I have been missed...

AnnieH · AnnieH

I will try and be concise and not long winded. My husband has been a heavy, heavy drinker since we met. I drank too, I'd like to add so I don't think I realized his behavior as problematic then. After we married I was pregnant for two years in a row, nursing for babies until our last was nearly two so drinki...

Seahorse7 · Seahorse7

Is there any hope that marriage can work out when married to an alcoholic? I need something to grasp onto before I feel like I've wasted 20 years.

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

AH decided to work on a stranger's truck. People drive by our house and often stop and ask if he is selling one of the non-operating vehicles in our driveway. So he told me a guy stopped to talk to him about a car he has, and they started talking about a truck the guy owns that needs to be fixed. AH thinks it's a...

krazycutejenn · krazycutejenn

How do you explain to a 5 year old that her daddys drinking problem was not the only problem in our marriage? I dont want to tell her that he used to physically and emotionally abusive me (even though she witnessed quite a bit of that) and I really dont want to tell her that her daddy was seeing numerous othe...

katiep17 · katiep17

New here, I admit that I need help and support to cope. Daughter late 20's is an alcoholic, and other substances. I have cut off all financial aide and have tried to stop being co dependent. ( I have moved out of state) She works as a dancer in a club and is surrounded by drinking, she comes home earlier hour...

Kay10 · Kay10

I have no serenity. Zero. I'm begging for it but I'm a mess. No peace. All I do is worry. BUT!!!! Hearing your experience strength and hope makes me believe that some day I will have it!!! So I'm going to keep on keeping on..... my alcoholic husband has been sober 5 days. He's been to 2 AA meetings in 2 days n...

NL14 · NL14

It's a good thing he isn't home now because I need to detach and calm down before we talk. AH had a meeting with his company's HR dept today about a contract they were asking him to sign. It was legitimately a grossly unfair contract and he was justified in being unwilling to sign it. He told me ahead of time...

Luiza · Luiza

STBXAH is very passive aggressive. Even on a good day. I used to ignore or give it back. But now I can't ignore anymore. I just can't put up with anything from him anymore, specially in front of our daughter. She is observing more than ever and I would fail if I let her think you should allow people (spe...

andromeda · andromeda

My AH made a comment this AM and I'm not sure what to do with it or how to respond. Backstory: My mom and her husband are coming to visit in early November for my son's 16th birthday. I told my AH about their visit last week and told him we'd do the sleeping arrangements like last time. I put the futon mattre...

grateful2be · grateful2be

My grandson is in his high school Marching Band. Yesterday was their first competition. I was excited about going and then ended up with what I call a flare up of "my glop" and couldn't go. There were many storms predicted and that happened in his travels to the HS football field where he w...

Debb · Debb

I know that you should never take the verbal abuse personally, it is the disease ... but it is sometimes scarey for me when my AH comes at me like a mad dog. We have some furnace working that was suppose to start at noon today and AH took a half day and I work til 11:30am on Fridays. I got home in 35 minutes an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been so long since I posted on here; almost 5 mos. I was & still am a bit sick. I went through a rough time when my mom left for CA in May. But, low & behold she ended up coming back up here for a visit & ended up back in the hospital & committed this time. What a long journey it has been for b...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Currently, I have no active A's in my life, but I still try to make it to meetings and support my fellow Al-Anon members. One member and I have become good friends over the past year. She is going through some huge challenges right now: the loss of her job, possible loss of a place to live, estrangement wit...

vm54 · vm54

Many people have mentioned about how living with an A is like a rollercoaster. I believe it, because just when I think there is hope, it disappears. My married A daughter came back for a week (only leaving during the day to meet the alcoholic guy she had been with). Her husband found texts from this oth...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So...once again...today I am feeling like I just want to spend time with my daughter and her father (AH). I want to pretend like everything is ok so I can salve my emotional codependency. I want him to just give me a back rub like he used to. I want to visit with him like he wanted to visit with me a week ago......

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well since I been divorce I noticed my need to save ppl suddenly went a way UNTIL I went out on a day date and things were going good sitting at the bar which I wouldn't be caught dead at before . Ordered dinner he ordered a beer and I had my favorite drink of all times water with lemon and lime. My date say well t...

lookingup · lookingup

How do I go about getting. me a sponsor? I know I have to get to know the other alononers well but do I or can I just come out and ask for a sponsor I'm wanting to begin my 12 step work so bad.i just don't know what to do. Or where to start..

lgnutah · lgnutah

My AD suffers from depression, anxiety, self medicates with prescription medicines and with alcohol She is not in any kind of recovery program, in fact doesn't see she has a alcohol or drug abuse problem. Last week a dear (guy) friend (also A and prescription drug abusing) of hers committed suicide...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah has been in the basement the whole weekend. He was about 30 days sober. I don't think it has been 30 days anymore because I found a bottle of vodka under the coach, his normal stashing place. When I got on the chat room last night I learned not to control what happens and not care either way if he fails An...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Decided to take a walk....going down the road. took a header and landed on the knee. Dang it cut right to the bone just below the knee and on the knee. ER visit and 12 stitches later I'm home and relaxing. Lets see what going to be on the menu next week. ((( hugs )))

lookingup · lookingup

That was last nights topin here in mip was an awesome meeting like always glad I got to be there I've been really sick for over a week now with upperrespitory infections that don't seem to go away ,we had lots of shares on this topic I found it. Rey interesting although I didn't share ,only way we can help th...

Advocate_For_Steve · Advocate_For_Steve

Hello, friends! Something that's been on my mind, that I hope will be helpful in sharing (in the hopes of getting your feedback): My A is currently my fiance; we've been together for almost a year and a half. Her addiction is inactive, and has been for six months now. However, shortly after we became eng...

el-cee · el-cee

I am independant. I havent always been independant. I left my mums care, home, rules, influence and moved In with my exh at a young age, where I depended on him for my happiness, love, care, attention. Ive always worked and contributed financially mainly because his jobs came and went due to his chro...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Need advice on what is the correct thing to say to a dry drunk! (Preview) Good morning, I am I great need of advice on what is the right thing to say to a dry drunk! My A son has recently gotten to the point where he has stopped or so he says drinking/druggin sometimes. He/We have been on this awful roller coaster for about a month. I am diligently trying to work my al-anon progra...	Sallygcoe	13	399	Sep 28, 2014 by Mattie
	AH acting crazy on our daughter's birthday (Preview) Please help me figure this one out. AH tries to point the finger at me all the time. I feel crazy...again. When he tries to make me feel bad, it works! I don't want to feel bad any more! About a week ago, he said it wold be awkward if he went to daughters bday party with my mom and sister there. He told me and dau...	Newlife girl	15	759	Sep 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	Talents - what are yours? (Preview) I've been thinking a lot recently about the Bible story of the master giving his servants different numbers of talents, one got ten, one five and one received just one or two - not being an expert on the book, that is the gist I remember from the story, the details being less important than the message. Th...	likemyheart	8	552	Sep 28, 2014 by andromeda
	if it were simple.... (Preview) my husband is an alcoholic and has been for many years. his favorite choice is whiskey. for months now i have been stressed and depressed. it is so hard feeling like this all the time. my feelings are taking a toll on my children. i have been married to my husband for 11 years but the past year and a half has...	lulu0603	5	387	Sep 28, 2014 by Debilyn
	Mother to visit (Preview) my mother wants to visit me with her bf for a few days and I really am not up for that. I am still in the grieving and mourning stage of my marriage Ending. She wanted to come when AH was still here and we were not getting along i said no. I had been down to visit her in June for 4 nights With my two sisters. she is...	Mirandac	18	519	Sep 27, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Morning all !!! (Preview)	Gaby	2	240	Sep 27, 2014 by hotrod
	The good, the bad and the gaaaaah. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) 3 weeks until the final, non-negotiable eviction date. All real estate applications unsuccessful. The rent is weeks behind thanks to A's latest gambling binge so, there's pretty much no hope of anyone approving an application at this stage. I simply don't have the money to pay his share; I don't hav...	missmeliss	49	1131	Sep 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	I have to stop torturing myself (Preview) I need all the ESH I can get today. This might be long, but I would appreciate any wisdom and encouragement I can get. I am thinking of a few statements I've heard here. "Don't go to the hardware store for bread." Today I heard a great one "I learned to listen with my eyes" (love it!) s...	Newlife girl	18	654	Sep 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	Worrying about your kids (Preview) Ok, so I had a VERY long talk with my sponsor last night about my concerns for my son. Mostly my fears revolve around his academics and my homeschooling of him. I worry constantly that I've let him down. I didn't know how to teach to his learning disabilities, I didn't place enough pressure on him or te...	andromeda	11	538	Sep 27, 2014 by Debilyn
	A son out of rehab 1 week (Preview) and has not gone to one meeting yet. How disappointing! I am sure that he was drinking the day after he came out. I have to say that I was totally shocked about it. I have refrained from confronting him about it. What good would it do? I really can not be around him much anymore....drinking or not drinking....	Gailey	13	988	Sep 27, 2014 by pinkchip
	Ever get just tired out? (Preview) That's me today. I lay on the sofa in the Key West room late this morning and slept through a couple of really bad morning programs, then decided to get up and get the body going. I went to Wal Mart to get business sized envelopes and found they had taken all the office "stuff" and stuffed it so...	Diva	4	513	Sep 27, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Hello all !!! (Preview) Well it's been a while.. I'm doing ok, I am alive and taking life one second at a time. As far as my son, he is incarcerated and I thank god for intervening!! Mean while.. I have gone to visit him and when he gets released, he is going into a one year rehab program.. I will continue with my face to face meetings...	Gaby	7	422	Sep 27, 2014 by Gaby
	This weeks problem (Preview) Well it happened. My SO got laid off today and right now I'm a little lost. All I can do is let HP show me the way to do what is necessary to make ends meet. Me thinks it's time to sell the house sooner than later. My SO....he's a mess and is very mad at the world.....and I'm included because I won't marry hi...	Cathyinaz	5	509	Sep 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	Having an interesting day... (Preview) So today the school where I work is closed for staff training and team building. I was invited by the bosses to attend the day. It meant that I had to take time off from my second job and arrange someone to take care of my daughter. It has been an interesting experience. First of all I arrive on the time I was t...	Luiza	4	416	Sep 26, 2014 by Kerrymom
	Peeking...know you won't mind.... (Preview) Aloha Family...I've been peeking and I know you know cause I've been tapped a few times as I listened and learned more. I'm still quiet and have changed direction toward taking care of some of my needs as I've been taught and suggested. News...my sponsee who was lost on Oahu with his mother when the tr...	Jerry F	12	554	Sep 26, 2014 by Jen61
	she's home & hopefully safe(but there is more) I am anxious & sad. (Preview) My cousin is home & seems to be safe now. I have to call her daughter still & get some details. Me, I am anxious & sad about a few things. I have made some somewhat major decisions lately. One: I decided not to fly for my 30th HS class reunion. I can't even go at all because I fear the worst. I know m...	Hoot Nanny	2	315	Sep 26, 2014 by hotrod
	Needing some advice, I'm the wife of a recovering addict (Preview) First, I'd like to say that I'm thankful I found a group like this. Personally, I'm not in recovery, but my husband is. In all honestly, I really wish we had a NARAnon group closer to me becase I could really use it. Here's the BG - 10 months ago my husband decided to become clean and sober. He would drink occ...	ceak	11	594	Sep 26, 2014 by Mattie
	Probation violation (Preview) If someone is on probation for multiple DUIs, are they not supposed to be drinking at all during that time? I know my AH has smoked pot (probably 2 months ago) and is probably drinking again. We are separated. If I called the police, would he get in major trouble--could they even do tests to see if he has be...	sookie	8	859	Sep 26, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	my sweet cousin; why did you go away? (Preview) I need huge prayers for my cousin who has seemed to run away after a huge bout w/ depression & pain. She left her home in her van to travel many miles away to go to a church she basically grew up in on a day that most churches are closed. She has taken off before on foot to go see her son. She recently moved aw...	Hoot Nanny	3	409	Sep 25, 2014 by Debilyn
	Interesting development. (Preview) Little sister got in touch with me last night. She lives out of home part time- that means she wants somewhere to keep her large family of pet rats (she can't have them at my parents house anymore as my mum is allergic) but still has a bed and stuff at my parents and stays there when she has school. Before you...	missmeliss	7	511	Sep 25, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	I'm so glad I found you (Preview) Last month I discovered a local Al-Anon group and I can already see that this is going to change my life. My husband of 21 years is an opiate addict on maintenance meds, so it never really occurred to me to find an alcoholics anonymous group. He's not an alcoholic. I had looked for a nar-anon group and ther...	Southerngirl	5	352	Sep 25, 2014 by PP
	HOW DO YOU STOP YOUR BRAIN THINKING ABOUT THEM? (Preview) Hi all... that's exactly what I want to know. I read my different recovery books in the morning. I write in my journal. I pray and try and listen. But my ex sends a text and tells me he wont survive unless he comes back home. He was drinking yesterday and he drank twice here in the last month. So I text back 'wh...	jm	12	617	Sep 25, 2014 by karma13
	Sister relapsed and I could use some help.... (Preview) I'm new to the forum but really have no one to talk to and am looking for some support and guidance. My sister entered rehab almost three months ago after living at my house. It was a very devastating time as we are close. I had to set boundaries and ask her to leave. Our family then banded together to come up...	shortyj1978	11	648	Sep 25, 2014 by grateful2be
	Boundaries and parties (Preview) Hi! Any esh would be great!! I am trying to not get myself punished by my own boundaries. After last AH's binge and my extreme reaction I had decided to not be around him while he is drinking which would include parties and outing. Instead of being in a restaurant worrying would that margarita lead to a ne...	Venera	15	747	Sep 25, 2014 by Spur
	back in the bosom of my dysfunctional family (Preview) I too have been away. I've had to deal with a lot in trying to find affordable housing. I was pretty much stranded up in the mountains with program people who just don't get it. The women told me if I wanted to connect with people I needed to go out to lunch with the ladies after the meeting. Pretty grim. The...	cwya	5	532	Sep 25, 2014 by cwya
	So much for a restful sleep LOL. (Preview) Ah dear. I've been listening to long recordings of things like crackling camp-fires and rain drumming on the roof, waves crashing to shore etc to sleep at night and, i have to say, i am sleeping very deeply and awake feeling almost cleansed, it's interesting how deep an effect it has on my sleep and stat...	missmeliss	13	507	Sep 25, 2014 by PP
	Patience to the extreme (Preview) A cartoon shows a dusty skeleton sitting in an office chair in front of a computer. In it's left hand is a telephone. An automatic voice keeps repeating, "Please stay on the line. Your call is very important to us." Sometimes, I can carry patience to the extreme, too. -- Edited by gratef...	grateful2be	8	413	Sep 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Giving and Taking (Preview) Giving and taking has been on my mind quite a bit! I have noticed that it seems I do an awful lot of giving and doing. These thoughts came to me after the weekend visit with my AH at the sober living house. During the course of our discussion he indicated that he was sad I wasn't sending so many letters to him e...	Flower49	14	582	Sep 24, 2014 by el-cee
	I need advice! This is not alcoholism but drug use. (Preview) Hello All! I will start by saying I wish anyone reading this good luck with whatever you are dealing with. I am trying to find a good site with discussion boards on drug addicts. I have been enabling one for far too long. I am at my breaking point. He has been on drugs for over a decade. It began with pain p...	Lookingforanswers9	4	310	Sep 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	This will warm your cockles. (Preview) Just saw a headline on AOL: Oklahoma City gun range with liquor license set to open this week. Well, that's just got good idea written all over it, hasn't it? Bless us and Keep us. Temple	Temple	23	638	Sep 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Being your own best friend (Preview) Hi all i have been coming on this site for a while sometimes daily sometimes less often but I always return it has helped me so so much. Today my parter is active after two years dry attending AA but did not work the steps. He is progressing but I am detached with love but can not watch anymore. He broke a boun...	Tracy	6	552	Sep 24, 2014 by andromeda
	Out of the house (Preview) My dry AH is trying to get me out of the house. He did not like the home appraisal that came back, too high. He also had his business assets appraised real low. I knew ah would start playing dirty. He lives at his gf mostly and some at his mothers, now he states he needs to live at our home and i that I can not af...	Mirandac	17	550	Sep 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	What To Do With Drunk Drivers (Preview) Our daughter drives drunk, all the time. She has come home to pick up belongings several times drunk. Our family has a difference of opinion about what should be done.Should someone call the police and tell them she is drunk driving? What if she is not drunk enough to be over the legal limit?Should s...	vm54	13	576	Sep 24, 2014 by Diva
	Standing still and listening for the most part. (Preview) I met with my sponsee this afternoon who made it home with his near terminal mother from being on another island, homeless and on the streets for 8 days after being turned away from rehabilitation after she was approved for it. Dear God I thought I was catching heat and now understand that quite ofte...	Jerry F	17	644	Sep 23, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Need help finding a Sponsor (Preview) I've been going to 3-4 different Alanon meetings each week for the last 4 months. I've made numerous attempts to find a sponsor. I've spent time getting familiar with other members learning who's been there long enough to even sponsor. If those few Ive tried i either have been encourage to find a sp...	Newpaths	5	464	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Difficult doesn't have to mean miserable. (Preview) Daughter has a friend staying with us. Rather than staying at home trying to do things one handed and being angry and sad, I decided, stuff it, the weather is nice, the packing and cleaning aren't going anywhere, and I need to get a bit healthier and happier before I am going to make any headway with this j...	missmeliss	14	555	Sep 23, 2014 by Debb
	being back makes me cry (Preview) I like I said have recently returned to MIP but it feels like I never left. I feel so much support out there. It is refreshing to know that you are all still out there. I noticed some familiar names too. You are all gems! I miss the closeness I felt on here. I can't believe sometimes how much I have been missed...	Hoot Nanny	6	477	Sep 23, 2014 by hotrod
	Insight Into Husband's Drinking: (Preview) I will try and be concise and not long winded. My husband has been a heavy, heavy drinker since we met. I drank too, I'd like to add so I don't think I realized his behavior as problematic then. After we married I was pregnant for two years in a row, nursing for babies until our last was nearly two so drinki...	AnnieH	5	572	Sep 23, 2014 by Auntyaya
	Are happy endings possible? (Preview) Is there any hope that marriage can work out when married to an alcoholic? I need something to grasp onto before I feel like I've wasted 20 years.	Seahorse7	7	518	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	A job! (Preview) AH decided to work on a stranger's truck. People drive by our house and often stop and ask if he is selling one of the non-operating vehicles in our driveway. So he told me a guy stopped to talk to him about a car he has, and they started talking about a truck the guy owns that needs to be fixed. AH thinks it's a...	Newlife girl	3	466	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Explaing the effects of Addiction to a 5 Year old (Preview) How do you explain to a 5 year old that her daddys drinking problem was not the only problem in our marriage? I dont want to tell her that he used to physically and emotionally abusive me (even though she witnessed quite a bit of that) and I really dont want to tell her that her daddy was seeing numerous othe...	krazycutejenn	8	489	Sep 23, 2014 by missmeliss
	new to Al Anon (Preview) New here, I admit that I need help and support to cope. Daughter late 20's is an alcoholic, and other substances. I have cut off all financial aide and have tried to stop being co dependent. ( I have moved out of state) She works as a dancer in a club and is surrounded by drinking, she comes home earlier hour...	katiep17	9	436	Sep 23, 2014 by katiep17
	I admire the serenity in this arena. I'm a mess but thankful for you all. (Preview) I have no serenity. Zero. I'm begging for it but I'm a mess. No peace. All I do is worry. BUT!!!! Hearing your experience strength and hope makes me believe that some day I will have it!!! So I'm going to keep on keeping on..... my alcoholic husband has been sober 5 days. He's been to 2 AA meetings in 2 days n...	Kay10	14	523	Sep 23, 2014 by cloudyskies
	AH quit his job. Trying to remember my tools... (Preview) It's a good thing he isn't home now because I need to detach and calm down before we talk. AH had a meeting with his company's HR dept today about a contract they were asking him to sign. It was legitimately a grossly unfair contract and he was justified in being unwilling to sign it. He told me ahead of time...	NL14	11	542	Sep 23, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Passive-agressive behaviour (Preview) STBXAH is very passive aggressive. Even on a good day. I used to ignore or give it back. But now I can't ignore anymore. I just can't put up with anything from him anymore, specially in front of our daughter. She is observing more than ever and I would fail if I let her think you should allow people (spe...	Luiza	12	616	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Dilemma (Preview) My AH made a comment this AM and I'm not sure what to do with it or how to respond. Backstory: My mom and her husband are coming to visit in early November for my son's 16th birthday. I told my AH about their visit last week and told him we'd do the sleeping arrangements like last time. I put the futon mattre...	andromeda	18	645	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Rainbows and the underdog (Preview) My grandson is in his high school Marching Band. Yesterday was their first competition. I was excited about going and then ended up with what I call a flare up of "my glop" and couldn't go. There were many storms predicted and that happened in his travels to the HS football field where he w...	grateful2be	18	595	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Just need a little reminding ... It's the week-end!! ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I know that you should never take the verbal abuse personally, it is the disease ... but it is sometimes scarey for me when my AH comes at me like a mad dog. We have some furnace working that was suppose to start at noon today and AH took a half day and I work til 11:30am on Fridays. I got home in 35 minutes an...	Debb	45	923	Sep 23, 2014 by Luiza
	man, it has been a long time! Did you miss me? (Preview) It has been so long since I posted on here; almost 5 mos. I was & still am a bit sick. I went through a rough time when my mom left for CA in May. But, low & behold she ended up coming back up here for a visit & ended up back in the hospital & committed this time. What a long journey it has been for b...	Hoot Nanny	6	439	Sep 23, 2014 by milkwood
	Supporting Fellow Al-Anoners (Preview) Currently, I have no active A's in my life, but I still try to make it to meetings and support my fellow Al-Anon members. One member and I have become good friends over the past year. She is going through some huge challenges right now: the loss of her job, possible loss of a place to live, estrangement wit...	Green Eyes	13	643	Sep 22, 2014 by Green Eyes
	Difficult Choices (Preview) Many people have mentioned about how living with an A is like a rollercoaster. I believe it, because just when I think there is hope, it disappears. My married A daughter came back for a week (only leaving during the day to meet the alcoholic guy she had been with). Her husband found texts from this oth...	vm54	11	658	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	I will do different things today to avoid doing what I think I want to do (Preview) So...once again...today I am feeling like I just want to spend time with my daughter and her father (AH). I want to pretend like everything is ok so I can salve my emotional codependency. I want him to just give me a back rub like he used to. I want to visit with him like he wanted to visit with me a week ago......	Newlife girl	8	556	Sep 22, 2014 by yanksfan51
	Old habits started to creep up again (Preview) Well since I been divorce I noticed my need to save ppl suddenly went a way UNTIL I went out on a day date and things were going good sitting at the bar which I wouldn't be caught dead at before . Ordered dinner he ordered a beer and I had my favorite drink of all times water with lemon and lime. My date say well t...	Wisdom67	11	494	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	Getting a sponser (Preview) How do I go about getting. me a sponsor? I know I have to get to know the other alononers well but do I or can I just come out and ask for a sponsor I'm wanting to begin my 12 step work so bad.i just don't know what to do. Or where to start..	lookingup	6	462	Sep 22, 2014 by lookingup
	inappropriate comment? (Preview) My AD suffers from depression, anxiety, self medicates with prescription medicines and with alcohol She is not in any kind of recovery program, in fact doesn't see she has a alcohol or drug abuse problem. Last week a dear (guy) friend (also A and prescription drug abusing) of hers committed suicide...	lgnutah	4	554	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	Went to first meeting online, and applied what I learned immediately! (Preview) My ah has been in the basement the whole weekend. He was about 30 days sober. I don't think it has been 30 days anymore because I found a bottle of vodka under the coach, his normal stashing place. When I got on the chat room last night I learned not to control what happens and not care either way if he fails An...	Helpangel	6	615	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	This weeks accident (Preview) Decided to take a walk....going down the road. took a header and landed on the knee. Dang it cut right to the bone just below the knee and on the knee. ER visit and 12 stitches later I'm home and relaxing. Lets see what going to be on the menu next week. ((( hugs )))	Cathyinaz	15	437	Sep 22, 2014 by el-cee
	Helping the alcohoilc (Preview) That was last nights topin here in mip was an awesome meeting like always glad I got to be there I've been really sick for over a week now with upperrespitory infections that don't seem to go away ,we had lots of shares on this topic I found it. Rey interesting although I didn't share ,only way we can help th...	lookingup	8	526	Sep 22, 2014 by lookingup
	Tigers Are Not Good Pets AA Al-Anon engaged breakup fear projecting disease (Preview) Hello, friends! Something that's been on my mind, that I hope will be helpful in sharing (in the hopes of getting your feedback): My A is currently my fiance; we've been together for almost a year and a half. Her addiction is inactive, and has been for six months now. However, shortly after we became eng...	Advocate_For_Steve	14	11475	Sep 22, 2014 by PP
	independant (Preview) I am independant. I havent always been independant. I left my mums care, home, rules, influence and moved In with my exh at a young age, where I depended on him for my happiness, love, care, attention. Ive always worked and contributed financially mainly because his jobs came and went due to his chro...	el-cee	8	611	Sep 22, 2014 by jm
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.