Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

vm54 · vm54

Our daughter drives drunk, all the time. She has come home to pick up belongings several times drunk. Our family has a difference of opinion about what should be done.Should someone call the police and tell them she is drunk driving? What if she is not drunk enough to be over the legal limit?Should s...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I met with my sponsee this afternoon who made it home with his near terminal mother from being on another island, homeless and on the streets for 8 days after being turned away from rehabilitation after she was approved for it. Dear God I thought I was catching heat and now understand that quite ofte...

Newpaths · Newpaths

I've been going to 3-4 different Alanon meetings each week for the last 4 months. I've made numerous attempts to find a sponsor. I've spent time getting familiar with other members learning who's been there long enough to even sponsor. If those few Ive tried i either have been encourage to find a sp...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Daughter has a friend staying with us. Rather than staying at home trying to do things one handed and being angry and sad, I decided, stuff it, the weather is nice, the packing and cleaning aren't going anywhere, and I need to get a bit healthier and happier before I am going to make any headway with this j...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I like I said have recently returned to MIP but it feels like I never left. I feel so much support out there. It is refreshing to know that you are all still out there. I noticed some familiar names too. You are all gems! I miss the closeness I felt on here. I can't believe sometimes how much I have been missed...

AnnieH · AnnieH

I will try and be concise and not long winded. My husband has been a heavy, heavy drinker since we met. I drank too, I'd like to add so I don't think I realized his behavior as problematic then. After we married I was pregnant for two years in a row, nursing for babies until our last was nearly two so drinki...

Seahorse7 · Seahorse7

Is there any hope that marriage can work out when married to an alcoholic? I need something to grasp onto before I feel like I've wasted 20 years.

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

AH decided to work on a stranger's truck. People drive by our house and often stop and ask if he is selling one of the non-operating vehicles in our driveway. So he told me a guy stopped to talk to him about a car he has, and they started talking about a truck the guy owns that needs to be fixed. AH thinks it's a...

krazycutejenn · krazycutejenn

How do you explain to a 5 year old that her daddys drinking problem was not the only problem in our marriage? I dont want to tell her that he used to physically and emotionally abusive me (even though she witnessed quite a bit of that) and I really dont want to tell her that her daddy was seeing numerous othe...

katiep17 · katiep17

New here, I admit that I need help and support to cope. Daughter late 20's is an alcoholic, and other substances. I have cut off all financial aide and have tried to stop being co dependent. ( I have moved out of state) She works as a dancer in a club and is surrounded by drinking, she comes home earlier hour...

Kay10 · Kay10

I have no serenity. Zero. I'm begging for it but I'm a mess. No peace. All I do is worry. BUT!!!! Hearing your experience strength and hope makes me believe that some day I will have it!!! So I'm going to keep on keeping on..... my alcoholic husband has been sober 5 days. He's been to 2 AA meetings in 2 days n...

NL14 · NL14

It's a good thing he isn't home now because I need to detach and calm down before we talk. AH had a meeting with his company's HR dept today about a contract they were asking him to sign. It was legitimately a grossly unfair contract and he was justified in being unwilling to sign it. He told me ahead of time...

Luiza · Luiza

STBXAH is very passive aggressive. Even on a good day. I used to ignore or give it back. But now I can't ignore anymore. I just can't put up with anything from him anymore, specially in front of our daughter. She is observing more than ever and I would fail if I let her think you should allow people (spe...

andromeda · andromeda

My AH made a comment this AM and I'm not sure what to do with it or how to respond. Backstory: My mom and her husband are coming to visit in early November for my son's 16th birthday. I told my AH about their visit last week and told him we'd do the sleeping arrangements like last time. I put the futon mattre...

grateful2be · grateful2be

My grandson is in his high school Marching Band. Yesterday was their first competition. I was excited about going and then ended up with what I call a flare up of "my glop" and couldn't go. There were many storms predicted and that happened in his travels to the HS football field where he w...

Debb · Debb

I know that you should never take the verbal abuse personally, it is the disease ... but it is sometimes scarey for me when my AH comes at me like a mad dog. We have some furnace working that was suppose to start at noon today and AH took a half day and I work til 11:30am on Fridays. I got home in 35 minutes an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been so long since I posted on here; almost 5 mos. I was & still am a bit sick. I went through a rough time when my mom left for CA in May. But, low & behold she ended up coming back up here for a visit & ended up back in the hospital & committed this time. What a long journey it has been for b...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Currently, I have no active A's in my life, but I still try to make it to meetings and support my fellow Al-Anon members. One member and I have become good friends over the past year. She is going through some huge challenges right now: the loss of her job, possible loss of a place to live, estrangement wit...

vm54 · vm54

Many people have mentioned about how living with an A is like a rollercoaster. I believe it, because just when I think there is hope, it disappears. My married A daughter came back for a week (only leaving during the day to meet the alcoholic guy she had been with). Her husband found texts from this oth...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So...once again...today I am feeling like I just want to spend time with my daughter and her father (AH). I want to pretend like everything is ok so I can salve my emotional codependency. I want him to just give me a back rub like he used to. I want to visit with him like he wanted to visit with me a week ago......

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well since I been divorce I noticed my need to save ppl suddenly went a way UNTIL I went out on a day date and things were going good sitting at the bar which I wouldn't be caught dead at before . Ordered dinner he ordered a beer and I had my favorite drink of all times water with lemon and lime. My date say well t...

lookingup · lookingup

How do I go about getting. me a sponsor? I know I have to get to know the other alononers well but do I or can I just come out and ask for a sponsor I'm wanting to begin my 12 step work so bad.i just don't know what to do. Or where to start..

lgnutah · lgnutah

My AD suffers from depression, anxiety, self medicates with prescription medicines and with alcohol She is not in any kind of recovery program, in fact doesn't see she has a alcohol or drug abuse problem. Last week a dear (guy) friend (also A and prescription drug abusing) of hers committed suicide...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah has been in the basement the whole weekend. He was about 30 days sober. I don't think it has been 30 days anymore because I found a bottle of vodka under the coach, his normal stashing place. When I got on the chat room last night I learned not to control what happens and not care either way if he fails An...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Decided to take a walk....going down the road. took a header and landed on the knee. Dang it cut right to the bone just below the knee and on the knee. ER visit and 12 stitches later I'm home and relaxing. Lets see what going to be on the menu next week. ((( hugs )))

lookingup · lookingup

That was last nights topin here in mip was an awesome meeting like always glad I got to be there I've been really sick for over a week now with upperrespitory infections that don't seem to go away ,we had lots of shares on this topic I found it. Rey interesting although I didn't share ,only way we can help th...

Advocate_For_Steve · Advocate_For_Steve

Hello, friends! Something that's been on my mind, that I hope will be helpful in sharing (in the hopes of getting your feedback): My A is currently my fiance; we've been together for almost a year and a half. Her addiction is inactive, and has been for six months now. However, shortly after we became eng...

el-cee · el-cee

I am independant. I havent always been independant. I left my mums care, home, rules, influence and moved In with my exh at a young age, where I depended on him for my happiness, love, care, attention. Ive always worked and contributed financially mainly because his jobs came and went due to his chro...

littlelionman · littlelionman

I've gotten some great feedback about where I'm at with my marriage and I thank everyone for the support. I have a question since it seems my marriage is slightly different than most other people's experiences with alcoholics. From what I've read and heard, most people seem to have the highest leve...

IMEE · IMEE

Hello, I am new to this group and never sought help. I am married with one child and my husband has been an alcoholic for the past several years. Although there are days when things are normal, I always prepare my self when I get home from work that my husband is either throwing up or in bed pretending tha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm feeling pretty low today. I'm having no luck finding a place to live. The real estate agent has become unfriendly and today suggested I should move to another town. I was puzzled, she's always been friendly. I now learn A has been on a gambling binge and has not been paying his share of the rent, it is a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Was sitting outside before with kitty in my lap. He was rolling around in the sun being the happiest, purriest kitty in the world, enjoying belly scratches and rubbing his teeth on my face which I think passes for kissing in kitty-world. And then 2 birds landed in the yard and kitty changed...suddenly...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Happy Friday Everyone Over this couple of years it had been my AS I was detaching from and now I'm working on detaching from my SO. I am taking it one step/one day at a time. Well after two weeks I now leave for work without waking him up or bring him coffee...something I have done for 20 years with resent...

Mel-gfj · Mel-gfj

so i am having a hard time dealing with all my resentments and right now they are all directed towards my mother. although there is a long list including my own faults. things lately are crazy between her and i. i relize there will never be a true relationship between us but i it hurts and just sucks!!! she...

Temple · Temple

Today another woman took part of her power back. And an Angel got its wings. And I don't mean to exclude our brothers. There are men on here who have suffered/are suffering, as well. I have a friend who is being double-teamed by diseases in the generation before and the one after him, and it is devastat...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I awakened today grateful for a host of things. I made sure to identify them for myself and some with my sponsor. After running a few errands and doing some things I needed to do around my home, I went outside to sit in the sun - aware that I'm probably catching a cold and it wouldn't hurt to place my body in...

joker · joker

its hard for me to believe my abf, has now been sober for 13 days. This is a man that could not stay sober for more than 3 days. He says he is thinking and feeling so much better and feels hope. He has been praying daily and reading his bible and going to AA meetings. Not everyday but when I drive him to a meeting...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi all. I am new here and would appreciate advise on how to handle my AH. He has really bad mood swings, very negative and manipulates conversations until I am confused about my feelings. I have been having really bad anxiety, yet the thought of leaving him gives me even more anxiety. Can anyone expl...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I'm sure everyone who has an A adult child has confronted this issue. You are at a social gathering and meet up with someone from your (now adult) child's past. Or you are at a grocery store or somewhere public, and you run into someone a few times a year (not someone you care to share every detail of your...

el-cee · el-cee

Its a dreecht nicht the nicht but its the night when my country has spoken either for or against independence. I cant see around corners only my hp can so my vote was based on my limited view and understanding. I have faith that whatever it is, 6am this morn, it will be the right decision. Thanks alanon, t...

Luz2014 · Luz2014

Hi there. First of all, I want to say that I've been reading a lot of these posts and I appreciate how everyone directs us back to ourselves. I grew up with a mom who was a child of an alcoholic; I'm grateful that I did not have an alcoholic in my immediate family. But it is all around us in her family and I've g...

Collateral Damage · Collateral Damage

Hello. I am the wife of an alcoholic. We've been married for 14 years, 12 of which he's been an alcoholic. We have an 11 year old daughter (read: she's never known her father to be sober). We have started over financially four times already due to his drinking, and I am now dealing with round 5. Two w...

Jessmine · Jessmine

My AH says if our marriage ends, then he will kill himself. I have no doubt that he will. And he won't wait -- he'll do it right away. I have no doubt. Please help. He has been to inpatient treatment 9 times. The last time for 4 months. I don't know what to do & would appreciate any advice. I cannot live w...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Need to spend all of my waking hours listening to and for HP so I can attempt to gain and maintain my peace of mind and serenity. Stay the course. Will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. (((((MIP)))))

sookie · sookie

So, my AH, who moved out 3 years ago, and I are finally going for a divorce. It's been pretty awful in terms of the financial impact on me (I have a great job--he works 15 hours a week for minimum wage--so I am screwed with the spousal support, etc...) plus he has decided he agrees with the law and is entitled...

Spur · Spur

I'm already detached from my AH and we live separate lives however, the kids don't see him for who he is and that's okay, but I do worry that one day they'll realize fathers are suppose to be more than what they got. So, last week my daughter who's a senior asked if she could have her class out here for a bonfi...

Spur · Spur

I have been reading several books on recovery but this one really speaks to me and I'd like to recommend it to everyone here. Author is Lisa Frederiksen. -- Edited by Spur on Wednesday 17th of September 2014 12:52:12 PM

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I sold my van when I moved and that was about what .. 5 months ago. I gave all of the necessary paperwork I did not have a title to the van (I lost it) I had my STBAX, my self and the woman who bought sign what I was given from the DMV. Fast forward 2-3 months into that mess I am contacted saying she needs a POA s...

Luiza · Luiza

I spent the whole day feeling so happy. After two days off work STBXH went out to work early and I finally could relax at home a bit more. I kept imagining all the changes I will do once he moves out, how I will organise the furniture, how I will keep the home and specially my bedroom nice and clean (mission im...

littlelionman · littlelionman

I know in al anon they say to not make any major life decisions for at least 6 months after your first meeting. Considering how often my perspective has changed/evolved over the last 7 weeks since my first meeting I can see why! Here's where I'm at and how I got here: At my first meeting I had to admit my w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, another little house has come up, within my price-range. It just appeared on the local real estate website. Don't know if it's pet-friendly....fingers crossed...it's perfect so far from what i can see...I will go and check it out tomorrow and put in an application if so. Otherwise it's going t...

Katy · Katy

I am verging on thinking it's my codependency, so I came home after six weeks away, I came home because he kept asking me to, telling me he missed me, I came home because I missed him, I missed parts of us and our life together, and my family unit, what I didn't miss was the manipulation, the total lack of re...

Seahorse7 · Seahorse7

first time ever having this kind of interaction about this topic. I'm an introverted non joiner and have avoided al anon meetings for that reason. But I am so lonely now, I need help. I don't have many friends And my family is not the type i can turn to. My high functioning AH of almost 20 years is wonder...

jm · jm

Hi all don't post often but need to now. Its 520am and I'm finding it hard to sleep. Finally got my ex to leave the house yesterday as I could no longer put up with his madness and my anger would be very bad when he would start with his mad thinking (no excuse I know I have to work on anger). But when I was droppi...

PP · PP

This forum and my al anon stuff is keeping me in a sane groove these past few days. I had a rough weekend and, as a result, I was in an overly sensitive space and misinterpreted something my husband had said. There was no fighting or loud words, but I did express my hurt and my perceptions and a bit of minor...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I have been attending Al-Anon f2f meetings weekly for almost 5 months, and I come here to fill the gap between my meetings. I want to thank each of you for your ESH for without you all and my f2f meetings, I'm not sure where I would be. I have begun working step 4 (am working from Blueprint for Progress, Al-...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Tonight AH asked me to bring him over some ginger ale and Immodium. He had been having diarrhea all day I guess. At first I said yes. Then when I got off the phone I texted him back and said I didn't feel right doing it. So I didn't do it. he later told me he drove to the store and got it himself...then he quickly...

Temple · Temple

A beautiful, slender, rather small bright yellow bird just landed in the hackberry tree outside my window. He'was breathtaking. A little grey on his back. Is he a wild canary? When we lived in Oklahoma City, there was a wonderful woman who was married to one of the control freaks in Husband's compa...

phiphi · phiphi

HELP ! I am not sure about how to deal with this. I depend on my AH for finances. I gave up my job three years ago when my baby was born and even though I start working next year my earnings can never be enough to support the family. So it looks like I will be dependent on him all my life. The problem is, AH seems t...

missmeliss · missmeliss

We went to a friends for lunch today, and when I arrived I realised, I didn't have my phone with me. Now I've known this friend for a year or so and when I started going over, I would check my phone constantly. It was usually a Sunday, I had usually been fighting with ABF and I was usually in a state of awful tur...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What To Do With Drunk Drivers (Preview) Our daughter drives drunk, all the time. She has come home to pick up belongings several times drunk. Our family has a difference of opinion about what should be done.Should someone call the police and tell them she is drunk driving? What if she is not drunk enough to be over the legal limit?Should s...	vm54	13	527	Sep 24, 2014 by Diva
	Standing still and listening for the most part. (Preview) I met with my sponsee this afternoon who made it home with his near terminal mother from being on another island, homeless and on the streets for 8 days after being turned away from rehabilitation after she was approved for it. Dear God I thought I was catching heat and now understand that quite ofte...	Jerry F	17	605	Sep 23, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Need help finding a Sponsor (Preview) I've been going to 3-4 different Alanon meetings each week for the last 4 months. I've made numerous attempts to find a sponsor. I've spent time getting familiar with other members learning who's been there long enough to even sponsor. If those few Ive tried i either have been encourage to find a sp...	Newpaths	5	418	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Difficult doesn't have to mean miserable. (Preview) Daughter has a friend staying with us. Rather than staying at home trying to do things one handed and being angry and sad, I decided, stuff it, the weather is nice, the packing and cleaning aren't going anywhere, and I need to get a bit healthier and happier before I am going to make any headway with this j...	missmeliss	14	513	Sep 23, 2014 by Debb
	being back makes me cry (Preview) I like I said have recently returned to MIP but it feels like I never left. I feel so much support out there. It is refreshing to know that you are all still out there. I noticed some familiar names too. You are all gems! I miss the closeness I felt on here. I can't believe sometimes how much I have been missed...	Hoot Nanny	6	438	Sep 23, 2014 by hotrod
	Insight Into Husband's Drinking: (Preview) I will try and be concise and not long winded. My husband has been a heavy, heavy drinker since we met. I drank too, I'd like to add so I don't think I realized his behavior as problematic then. After we married I was pregnant for two years in a row, nursing for babies until our last was nearly two so drinki...	AnnieH	5	527	Sep 23, 2014 by Auntyaya
	Are happy endings possible? (Preview) Is there any hope that marriage can work out when married to an alcoholic? I need something to grasp onto before I feel like I've wasted 20 years.	Seahorse7	7	476	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	A job! (Preview) AH decided to work on a stranger's truck. People drive by our house and often stop and ask if he is selling one of the non-operating vehicles in our driveway. So he told me a guy stopped to talk to him about a car he has, and they started talking about a truck the guy owns that needs to be fixed. AH thinks it's a...	Newlife girl	3	424	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Explaing the effects of Addiction to a 5 Year old (Preview) How do you explain to a 5 year old that her daddys drinking problem was not the only problem in our marriage? I dont want to tell her that he used to physically and emotionally abusive me (even though she witnessed quite a bit of that) and I really dont want to tell her that her daddy was seeing numerous othe...	krazycutejenn	8	447	Sep 23, 2014 by missmeliss
	new to Al Anon (Preview) New here, I admit that I need help and support to cope. Daughter late 20's is an alcoholic, and other substances. I have cut off all financial aide and have tried to stop being co dependent. ( I have moved out of state) She works as a dancer in a club and is surrounded by drinking, she comes home earlier hour...	katiep17	9	385	Sep 23, 2014 by katiep17
	I admire the serenity in this arena. I'm a mess but thankful for you all. (Preview) I have no serenity. Zero. I'm begging for it but I'm a mess. No peace. All I do is worry. BUT!!!! Hearing your experience strength and hope makes me believe that some day I will have it!!! So I'm going to keep on keeping on..... my alcoholic husband has been sober 5 days. He's been to 2 AA meetings in 2 days n...	Kay10	14	476	Sep 23, 2014 by cloudyskies
	AH quit his job. Trying to remember my tools... (Preview) It's a good thing he isn't home now because I need to detach and calm down before we talk. AH had a meeting with his company's HR dept today about a contract they were asking him to sign. It was legitimately a grossly unfair contract and he was justified in being unwilling to sign it. He told me ahead of time...	NL14	11	505	Sep 23, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Passive-agressive behaviour (Preview) STBXAH is very passive aggressive. Even on a good day. I used to ignore or give it back. But now I can't ignore anymore. I just can't put up with anything from him anymore, specially in front of our daughter. She is observing more than ever and I would fail if I let her think you should allow people (spe...	Luiza	12	572	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Dilemma (Preview) My AH made a comment this AM and I'm not sure what to do with it or how to respond. Backstory: My mom and her husband are coming to visit in early November for my son's 16th birthday. I told my AH about their visit last week and told him we'd do the sleeping arrangements like last time. I put the futon mattre...	andromeda	18	595	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Rainbows and the underdog (Preview) My grandson is in his high school Marching Band. Yesterday was their first competition. I was excited about going and then ended up with what I call a flare up of "my glop" and couldn't go. There were many storms predicted and that happened in his travels to the HS football field where he w...	grateful2be	18	555	Sep 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Just need a little reminding ... It's the week-end!! ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I know that you should never take the verbal abuse personally, it is the disease ... but it is sometimes scarey for me when my AH comes at me like a mad dog. We have some furnace working that was suppose to start at noon today and AH took a half day and I work til 11:30am on Fridays. I got home in 35 minutes an...	Debb	45	858	Sep 23, 2014 by Luiza
	man, it has been a long time! Did you miss me? (Preview) It has been so long since I posted on here; almost 5 mos. I was & still am a bit sick. I went through a rough time when my mom left for CA in May. But, low & behold she ended up coming back up here for a visit & ended up back in the hospital & committed this time. What a long journey it has been for b...	Hoot Nanny	6	393	Sep 23, 2014 by milkwood
	Supporting Fellow Al-Anoners (Preview) Currently, I have no active A's in my life, but I still try to make it to meetings and support my fellow Al-Anon members. One member and I have become good friends over the past year. She is going through some huge challenges right now: the loss of her job, possible loss of a place to live, estrangement wit...	Green Eyes	13	594	Sep 22, 2014 by Green Eyes
	Difficult Choices (Preview) Many people have mentioned about how living with an A is like a rollercoaster. I believe it, because just when I think there is hope, it disappears. My married A daughter came back for a week (only leaving during the day to meet the alcoholic guy she had been with). Her husband found texts from this oth...	vm54	11	606	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	I will do different things today to avoid doing what I think I want to do (Preview) So...once again...today I am feeling like I just want to spend time with my daughter and her father (AH). I want to pretend like everything is ok so I can salve my emotional codependency. I want him to just give me a back rub like he used to. I want to visit with him like he wanted to visit with me a week ago......	Newlife girl	8	506	Sep 22, 2014 by yanksfan51
	Old habits started to creep up again (Preview) Well since I been divorce I noticed my need to save ppl suddenly went a way UNTIL I went out on a day date and things were going good sitting at the bar which I wouldn't be caught dead at before . Ordered dinner he ordered a beer and I had my favorite drink of all times water with lemon and lime. My date say well t...	Wisdom67	11	457	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	Getting a sponser (Preview) How do I go about getting. me a sponsor? I know I have to get to know the other alononers well but do I or can I just come out and ask for a sponsor I'm wanting to begin my 12 step work so bad.i just don't know what to do. Or where to start..	lookingup	6	413	Sep 22, 2014 by lookingup
	inappropriate comment? (Preview) My AD suffers from depression, anxiety, self medicates with prescription medicines and with alcohol She is not in any kind of recovery program, in fact doesn't see she has a alcohol or drug abuse problem. Last week a dear (guy) friend (also A and prescription drug abusing) of hers committed suicide...	lgnutah	4	509	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	Went to first meeting online, and applied what I learned immediately! (Preview) My ah has been in the basement the whole weekend. He was about 30 days sober. I don't think it has been 30 days anymore because I found a bottle of vodka under the coach, his normal stashing place. When I got on the chat room last night I learned not to control what happens and not care either way if he fails An...	Helpangel	6	566	Sep 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	This weeks accident (Preview) Decided to take a walk....going down the road. took a header and landed on the knee. Dang it cut right to the bone just below the knee and on the knee. ER visit and 12 stitches later I'm home and relaxing. Lets see what going to be on the menu next week. ((( hugs )))	Cathyinaz	15	392	Sep 22, 2014 by el-cee
	Helping the alcohoilc (Preview) That was last nights topin here in mip was an awesome meeting like always glad I got to be there I've been really sick for over a week now with upperrespitory infections that don't seem to go away ,we had lots of shares on this topic I found it. Rey interesting although I didn't share ,only way we can help th...	lookingup	8	481	Sep 22, 2014 by lookingup
	Tigers Are Not Good Pets AA Al-Anon engaged breakup fear projecting disease (Preview) Hello, friends! Something that's been on my mind, that I hope will be helpful in sharing (in the hopes of getting your feedback): My A is currently my fiance; we've been together for almost a year and a half. Her addiction is inactive, and has been for six months now. However, shortly after we became eng...	Advocate_For_Steve	14	10062	Sep 22, 2014 by PP
	independant (Preview) I am independant. I havent always been independant. I left my mums care, home, rules, influence and moved In with my exh at a young age, where I depended on him for my happiness, love, care, attention. Ive always worked and contributed financially mainly because his jobs came and went due to his chro...	el-cee	8	566	Sep 22, 2014 by jm
	A question about conflict in marriage (Preview) I've gotten some great feedback about where I'm at with my marriage and I thank everyone for the support. I have a question since it seems my marriage is slightly different than most other people's experiences with alcoholics. From what I've read and heard, most people seem to have the highest leve...	littlelionman	15	647	Sep 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	Feeling very frustrated (Preview) Hello, I am new to this group and never sought help. I am married with one child and my husband has been an alcoholic for the past several years. Although there are days when things are normal, I always prepare my self when I get home from work that my husband is either throwing up or in bed pretending tha...	IMEE	7	573	Sep 21, 2014 by cloudyskies
	My big friday whinge. (Preview) I'm feeling pretty low today. I'm having no luck finding a place to live. The real estate agent has become unfriendly and today suggested I should move to another town. I was puzzled, she's always been friendly. I now learn A has been on a gambling binge and has not been paying his share of the rent, it is a...	missmeliss	30	774	Sep 21, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	A cat is a cat. (Preview) Was sitting outside before with kitty in my lap. He was rolling around in the sun being the happiest, purriest kitty in the world, enjoying belly scratches and rubbing his teeth on my face which I think passes for kissing in kitty-world. And then 2 birds landed in the yard and kitty changed...suddenly...	missmeliss	7	266	Sep 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	Little Changes that make it right (Preview) Happy Friday Everyone Over this couple of years it had been my AS I was detaching from and now I'm working on detaching from my SO. I am taking it one step/one day at a time. Well after two weeks I now leave for work without waking him up or bring him coffee...something I have done for 20 years with resent...	Cathyinaz	12	607	Sep 21, 2014 by andromeda
	resentments (Preview) so i am having a hard time dealing with all my resentments and right now they are all directed towards my mother. although there is a long list including my own faults. things lately are crazy between her and i. i relize there will never be a true relationship between us but i it hurts and just sucks!!! she...	Mel-gfj	9	524	Sep 21, 2014 by PP
	Starting a new topic in hopes everybody will read it. (Preview) Today another woman took part of her power back. And an Angel got its wings. And I don't mean to exclude our brothers. There are men on here who have suffered/are suffering, as well. I have a friend who is being double-teamed by diseases in the generation before and the one after him, and it is devastat...	Temple	8	471	Sep 21, 2014 by PP
	Surprises and gratitude (Preview) I awakened today grateful for a host of things. I made sure to identify them for myself and some with my sponsor. After running a few errands and doing some things I needed to do around my home, I went outside to sit in the sun - aware that I'm probably catching a cold and it wouldn't hurt to place my body in...	grateful2be	13	430	Sep 21, 2014 by PP
	a miracle (Preview) its hard for me to believe my abf, has now been sober for 13 days. This is a man that could not stay sober for more than 3 days. He says he is thinking and feeling so much better and feels hope. He has been praying daily and reading his bible and going to AA meetings. Not everyday but when I drive him to a meeting...	joker	4	457	Sep 20, 2014 by cloudyskies
	New and need advice about AH and 30 days dry (Preview) Hi all. I am new here and would appreciate advise on how to handle my AH. He has really bad mood swings, very negative and manipulates conversations until I am confused about my feelings. I have been having really bad anxiety, yet the thought of leaving him gives me even more anxiety. Can anyone expl...	Helpangel	11	486	Sep 20, 2014 by hotrod
	so, how do you answer their questions about your adult alcoholic child without sounding curt? (Preview) I'm sure everyone who has an A adult child has confronted this issue. You are at a social gathering and meet up with someone from your (now adult) child's past. Or you are at a grocery store or somewhere public, and you run into someone a few times a year (not someone you care to share every detail of your...	lgnutah	3	449	Sep 20, 2014 by Debilyn
	the power of prayer (Preview) Its a dreecht nicht the nicht but its the night when my country has spoken either for or against independence. I cant see around corners only my hp can so my vote was based on my limited view and understanding. I have faith that whatever it is, 6am this morn, it will be the right decision. Thanks alanon, t...	el-cee	14	518	Sep 20, 2014 by Debb
	Supporting my cousin? (Preview) Hi there. First of all, I want to say that I've been reading a lot of these posts and I appreciate how everyone directs us back to ourselves. I grew up with a mom who was a child of an alcoholic; I'm grateful that I did not have an alcoholic in my immediate family. But it is all around us in her family and I've g...	Luz2014	4	611	Sep 20, 2014 by Luz2014
	New here .... (Preview) Hello. I am the wife of an alcoholic. We've been married for 14 years, 12 of which he's been an alcoholic. We have an 11 year old daughter (read: she's never known her father to be sober). We have started over financially four times already due to his drinking, and I am now dealing with round 5. Two w...	Collateral Damage	8	480	Sep 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	Suicide (Preview) My AH says if our marriage ends, then he will kill himself. I have no doubt that he will. And he won't wait -- he'll do it right away. I have no doubt. Please help. He has been to inpatient treatment 9 times. The last time for 4 months. I don't know what to do & would appreciate any advice. I cannot live w...	Jessmine	13	799	Sep 20, 2014 by lgnutah
	Going quiet for now. (Preview) Need to spend all of my waking hours listening to and for HP so I can attempt to gain and maintain my peace of mind and serenity. Stay the course. Will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. (((((MIP)))))	Jerry F	17	631	Sep 19, 2014 by bud
	a light at the end of the tunnel (Preview) So, my AH, who moved out 3 years ago, and I are finally going for a divorce. It's been pretty awful in terms of the financial impact on me (I have a great job--he works 15 hours a week for minimum wage--so I am screwed with the spousal support, etc...) plus he has decided he agrees with the law and is entitled...	sookie	10	554	Sep 19, 2014 by Debb
	Same Ol' Same Ol' (Preview) I'm already detached from my AH and we live separate lives however, the kids don't see him for who he is and that's okay, but I do worry that one day they'll realize fathers are suppose to be more than what they got. So, last week my daughter who's a senior asked if she could have her class out here for a bonfi...	Spur	13	640	Sep 19, 2014 by Hullibee
	If You Loved Me You'd Stop-Read It (Preview) I have been reading several books on recovery but this one really speaks to me and I'd like to recommend it to everyone here. Author is Lisa Frederiksen. -- Edited by Spur on Wednesday 17th of September 2014 12:52:12 PM	Spur	10	493	Sep 19, 2014 by Flower49
	My karma with Cars .. LOL (Preview) So I sold my van when I moved and that was about what .. 5 months ago. I gave all of the necessary paperwork I did not have a title to the van (I lost it) I had my STBAX, my self and the woman who bought sign what I was given from the DMV. Fast forward 2-3 months into that mess I am contacted saying she needs a POA s...	SerenityRUS	4	483	Sep 19, 2014 by bud
	Lots of mixed emotions (Preview) I spent the whole day feeling so happy. After two days off work STBXH went out to work early and I finally could relax at home a bit more. I kept imagining all the changes I will do once he moves out, how I will organise the furniture, how I will keep the home and specially my bedroom nice and clean (mission im...	Luiza	5	489	Sep 19, 2014 by Luiza
	I don't see how our marriage can work (Preview) I know in al anon they say to not make any major life decisions for at least 6 months after your first meeting. Considering how often my perspective has changed/evolved over the last 7 weeks since my first meeting I can see why! Here's where I'm at and how I got here: At my first meeting I had to admit my w...	littlelionman	17	1081	Sep 19, 2014 by Spur
	Let's try that again :-) ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Well, another little house has come up, within my price-range. It just appeared on the local real estate website. Don't know if it's pet-friendly....fingers crossed...it's perfect so far from what i can see...I will go and check it out tomorrow and put in an application if so. Otherwise it's going t...	missmeliss	42	1126	Sep 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	love or codepedency? (Preview) I am verging on thinking it's my codependency, so I came home after six weeks away, I came home because he kept asking me to, telling me he missed me, I came home because I missed him, I missed parts of us and our life together, and my family unit, what I didn't miss was the manipulation, the total lack of re...	Katy	10	508	Sep 18, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Lonely in my marriage (Preview) first time ever having this kind of interaction about this topic. I'm an introverted non joiner and have avoided al anon meetings for that reason. But I am so lonely now, I need help. I don't have many friends And my family is not the type i can turn to. My high functioning AH of almost 20 years is wonder...	Seahorse7	7	515	Sep 18, 2014 by Debilyn
	Games people will play (Preview) Hi all don't post often but need to now. Its 520am and I'm finding it hard to sleep. Finally got my ex to leave the house yesterday as I could no longer put up with his madness and my anger would be very bad when he would start with his mad thinking (no excuse I know I have to work on anger). But when I was droppi...	jm	7	612	Sep 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	Cancelled Vacation (Preview) This forum and my al anon stuff is keeping me in a sane groove these past few days. I had a rough weekend and, as a result, I was in an overly sensitive space and misinterpreted something my husband had said. There was no fighting or loud words, but I did express my hurt and my perceptions and a bit of minor...	PP	30	781	Sep 18, 2014 by PP
	I am learning how to forgive myself. (Preview) I have been attending Al-Anon f2f meetings weekly for almost 5 months, and I come here to fill the gap between my meetings. I want to thank each of you for your ESH for without you all and my f2f meetings, I'm not sure where I would be. I have begun working step 4 (am working from Blueprint for Progress, Al-...	cloudyskies	9	555	Sep 18, 2014 by Debilyn
	Can't decide if I made the right decision (Preview) Tonight AH asked me to bring him over some ginger ale and Immodium. He had been having diarrhea all day I guess. At first I said yes. Then when I got off the phone I texted him back and said I didn't feel right doing it. So I didn't do it. he later told me he drove to the store and got it himself...then he quickly...	Newlife girl	4	454	Sep 18, 2014 by Advocate_For_Steve
	Any Birders on here? (Preview) A beautiful, slender, rather small bright yellow bird just landed in the hackberry tree outside my window. He'was breathtaking. A little grey on his back. Is he a wild canary? When we lived in Oklahoma City, there was a wonderful woman who was married to one of the control freaks in Husband's compa...	Temple	28	422	Sep 18, 2014 by PP
	Being so dependent my alcoholic (Preview) HELP ! I am not sure about how to deal with this. I depend on my AH for finances. I gave up my job three years ago when my baby was born and even though I start working next year my earnings can never be enough to support the family. So it looks like I will be dependent on him all my life. The problem is, AH seems t...	phiphi	8	475	Sep 18, 2014 by hotrod
	Yay for Sunday. (Preview) We went to a friends for lunch today, and when I arrived I realised, I didn't have my phone with me. Now I've known this friend for a year or so and when I started going over, I would check my phone constantly. It was usually a Sunday, I had usually been fighting with ABF and I was usually in a state of awful tur...	missmeliss	6	405	Sep 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.