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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Cancelled Vacation
Post Info TOPIC: Cancelled Vacation
PP


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This forum and my al anon stuff is keeping me in a sane groove these past few days.  I had a rough weekend and, as a result, I was in an overly sensitive space and misinterpreted something my husband had said.  There was no fighting or loud words, but I did express my hurt and my perceptions and a bit of minor snarkiness.  Apparently, this did not sit well with him, as he unilaterally decided to cancel his vacation request for next week. I was not consulted or considered.  We were supposed to go somewhere for our wedding anniversary. I feel hurt, angry and confused.  I have received two different reasons as to why he rescinded the request.  His actions seem to be an overreaction to my reactions.  Anyway, onward I will go, putting one foot in front of the other, repeating the serenity prayer, giving it to God, taking care of my needs and attending my meeting on Thursday.  I am considering some fun options for myself, too, for next week.  Thanks for listening to my share.



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Paula
grateful2be


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I'm sorry, Paula. Sending you lots of encouragement and prayers for both of you. Somewhere in this is God at work. I so admire your willingness to take care of yourself one day at a time.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
PP


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Thank you, Catherine.



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Paula
KennyFenderjazz


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(((Paula)))

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hotrod


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That certainly is very disappointing Paula, and I am so very sorry that this has happened.

I am happy to read that you intend to use your tools, focus on your own happiness and refused to give your power away by engaging in a dispute Good work my friend

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Temple


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It's so disappointing when something like that happens.

You're very creative; I hope you come up with something to do--maybe with a good friend--that will make you happy.

Celebrate you. I celebrate the fact that I was a bride once, even though it doesn't seem to mean much to anybody but me and my daughter.
I'm happy for you that you have your daughter--and granddaughter?

(((((Paula)))))



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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread.  --Gray Charles

 
milkwood


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((((((Hugs))))))) Paula.

I can see just how disappointing this might feel, when things like that happen in this neck of the woods I easily find myself feeling undeserving and unduly punished. I hope you make some magical plans for next week. If this is a time when you would like to come to Italy then I'll get your bedroom ready. You would paint this landscape so beautifully.

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Spur


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Paula I'm sorry your plans were ruined. Do something nice for yourself next week like have lunch or dinner with a friend. Go see a movie. I believe everything happens for a reason so one door has closed, open another one.

Temple, I LOVE your idea of celebrating that you were once a bride. I'm going to gift that to myself. 

AH and I don't celebrate our anniversary. He always buys flowers, for the kids sake, and asks if I want to go out for dinner, which I don't. My marriage is nothing to celebrate. However, I would love to celebrate being a bride with some friends. My wedding day was a very happy time in my life and that's one thing I won't let alcohol take away from me.

Thank you for opening my mind and my heart.



-- Edited by Spur on Wednesday 17th of September 2014 03:28:24 AM

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PP


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(((Grateful, Kenny, Betty, Temple, Mlkwood, Spur))) Wouldn't a bride celebration be fun?  Temple, this idea is perfectsmile



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Paula
KennyFenderjazz


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I think the trip to Italy sounds better, but we do the best we can with what we have at the time smile



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PP


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I like that idea, too.  I need to get a passport....maybe I could find someone who could get me one in  24 hours?  I live near Detroit, bet I could hang out somewhere incognito and find a contact.



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Paula
milkwood


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Stunning new painting Paula. I'm sure that the passport office can do a rush job for you.


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PP


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Thank you, Milkwood.....



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Paula
grateful2be


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It sure grabs the eye with its vibrant colors and to me - the reminder that there are many layers and levels to the spiritual journey and in us. Thank you for sharing this with us, Paula.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
SerenityRUS


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It ain't easy being human .. my favorite like from the play dark of the moon .. I'm sorry you are going through this right now. Especially when it's suppose to be fun abd not stressful. King baby comes to mind and tantrum city .. I hope you do find things that soften the hurt and realize this says a whole lot more about him than you. You have a right to verbalize how you feel .. welcome to the human race .. He has a right to verbalize his reactions .. i hope you can find the humor today or next month .. seriously .. you had a rough week and this is his support? Seriously ... umm ok. You are suppose to be woo hoo over more disregard fOr your feelings. Ok. That's insanity at it's best .. lol

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Temple


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Paula, I don't think I ever told you how much I liked the previous painting, and now this one knocks my socks off.

He'd better be careful, dorking around with a woman who has that many colors on her pallette.

Have you thought of doing something for him? In black, grue and bruise, say?

Milkwood, I have been napping and didn't realize you are in Italy. I truly hope that mitigates the suffering. You know how we humans are--If I were in Italy/had tons of money/could look at Liam every day, everything would be wonderful. (All that would do for a start, btw)

I may get out a wedding picture and frame and hang it--the one of me by myownself. Although my favorite was always the coming back up the aisle shot, where we were laughing because we'd both just stepped on the bottom of my gown.




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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread.  --Gray Charles

 
grateful2be


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My wedding day was awful. I'll come to the party, but I'll take the part of the clergyperson or the bridesmaid (since I got an annulment in the Catholic Church - I am a spinster with two children so I can be the bridesmaid or the maid of honor rather than the matron of honor) and Italy would be the perfect place for us all to go to celebrate "Brides Day!"  If I'm bridesmaid, I get to catch all the bouquets.  If I'm clergy, I get to do all the blessings.



-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 17th of September 2014 08:30:47 AM



-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 17th of September 2014 08:31:22 AM

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
milkwood


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OK the sofa bed is up and running as well - lets aim for a full house! Wild flower garlands all round?





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grateful2be


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Sounds very, very fine, MW. I'll just bring my own air mattress though. I'll just suck it all up with a vacuum sweeper hose and tuck it neatly into plastic rain bonnet size and put it in a pocket of my carry on. I hope you have a vacuum on the other end for when I need to re-board the plane? Never mind. I'll just leave it there for the next visit.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
missmeliss


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Can I come too?
I'll let them know at liquorland tomorrow that I will be requiring a couple of weeks off to go to Italy before I start.

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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
missmeliss


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Paula I love the new painting too. There is a beautiful place near here where the setting sun makes the water glow pink and deep orange and vivid blue at the same time and this takes me there. Magic!
I'm sorry about your holiday. I hope you can turn it around and do something nice for you instead.

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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Debilyn


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How very hurtful!In a marriage there are always misunderstandings and some snarkiness! His reaction was sure quite severe. Hurt for you.

If things have calmed down, would it be appropriate to ask him if he would like to go out to dinner or something? I know with an A, using or not, they usually don't know how to fix things or be the one to come to the non A. They don't know how.

I do hope you do some anti stressers to heal your broken heart! You are such a warm, loving person, no way you deserve this treatment!

I would be finding some girl friends and heading away to do something!

sending you love and let us know how you are doing!



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PP


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Oh my, I come home from a days work and I find you lovelies chatting away...this is how our visit to Milkwood would besmile I thank you for enjoying my painting, I enjoy sharing...before al anon, all my work was sheepishly stashed away.  

I am planning a get away next week to visit a precious friend.  At this point, I have no interest in planning anything with my husband.  He has had enough recovery work to know what maturity looks like and what he needs to do for himself.  He has stopped working his recovery program and has been AWOL at meetings for about 6 weeks.  Contact with his sponsor is not happening, either.  So, this is the result...a dry A.  We all know what that looks like.  And I am planning some fun times in spite of my anger and sadness.  Hugs to allaww



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Paula
pinkchip


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Bride? What is that? That was missing from my wedding.

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PP


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Because you had the most special kind of wedding, unique and different....I had a boring traditional one, actually maybe this bride was missing, too....



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Paula
cloudyskies


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I am sorry to hear about your vacation, PP. Do something to pamper yourself. smile I love the watercolor. Did you paint that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



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Look for the rainbow after the storm, and I'm sending you a double dose of HOPE. H-hold  O-on  P-pain E-ends

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PP


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Thank you, cloudy skies, I did paint it and used alcohol inkssmile



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Paula
Spur


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PP your painting is gorgeous and if it was for sale I would be a customer. Have you considered selling your art on The Etsy website?

"Alcohol inks"... that's a good chuckle!


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PP


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Oh thank you, Spur!  I do have a site on Etsy and have sold a few paintings.  Last night I set up an account with FineArtAmerica, I just need to upload the picturessmile.  



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Paula
Luiza


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PP I absolutely love your painting. It is so beautiful. I will show it to my daughter. She is into arts and she says she will be a painter and a book illustrator.

Paula, I am sorry about the cancelation of your vacation and I hope you find something even better to do, something that will make you really happy and loved.

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PP


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Thank you Luiza for your heart.  I would enjoy seeing some of your daughter's artworkaww



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Paula
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