Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

No more · No more

My husband is alcholic who is in denial..... I'm tired angry and soooo confused. How have I let him control my everything when his sad I'm sad when he is happy im happy and im scared of the damage to our girls mentally emotionally I want to scream and shout and walk out with my girls and never see him again bu...

Courtney · Courtney

Hello All! I am new to this site and wanted to introduce myself. I am the mom of three awesome little men, and currently married to an alcoholic. I have finally reached a point where I really do not know what to do any more. I can no longer continue in the cycle and hear the lies and deal with the broken promis...

sookie · sookie

UGH--last night my AH and I met with a lawyer--trying to move forward amicably which is a relief (as long as he doesn't suddenly go back on his word or change his mind). My AH cried and was really upset...I have been focusing SO much on how he is cleaning me out financially (I'm the one who makes literally A...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hey all, lately I have gotten calls from family members on wanting to know how to stop or how to manage their loved one's disease or how to "take care" of a loved one that is coming from recovery treatment. Usually I can suggest going to a meeting or two with me, or refer to them to this board. My A...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

You know when you think ok .. this is ok it's going to get better and everything is fine. Apparently I have some lessons to learn in that area because Verna's post about not being mad got me thinking .. LOL .. Ohhh I'm angry today. It's ok because it's going to pass, .. I kind of think I'm more afraid than I a...

Luiza · Luiza

So I have this neighbour who used to be my client. She is a bit helpless and I am used to help her a lot with pretty much every aspect of her life, however she is seldom "there" for me, lets me down a lot...that is fine. She is a lovely person and I like her a lot, I know she is disorganised and all over...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am unsure why this bothers me and I know to take what I like and leave the rest. I am trying to go back and read and catch up, I am seeing lots of advice giving and shoulding on people. I am pretty sure I have learned a lot in my years of al-anon and a big lesson was if I had it all figured out I wouldn't be here in th...

deramam · deramam

If you could recommend only 1 book... which would it be?

aquamom23 · aquamom23

well. Its been a mental weekend. Complete with a messy house which I hate and find so much harder to clean with an emotional hangover. Today I have finally worked out the est time conversion for online meetings,now that I have replaced my phone. The old one died after I threw it at the ground because my co...

Sean_82 · Sean_82

Hi all I had a terrible morning of self doubt and worry about where my life and marriage would go, but after reading this "Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackle all my problems at once." I realise that I had fallen into a deep dark hole, it can often happen so quickly t...

el-cee · el-cee

My exah has had a bad accident and is basically disabled and housebound for the next few months. So, my kids have actually made me very proud,they have been taking turns in looking after him. Anyway, I decided to phone him and tell him im thinking of him and if I can help to phone me. My kids have been gettin...

shellbell77 · shellbell77

My fiance has a drinking problem. He will admit it but thats as far as he will go. He says he wants help, but he says he has it under control. I love him very much. We have been together for a year and a half, and plan to marry next spring. I just dont know how to feel, what to say or do. He has lost jobs and hides it w...

kris4242 · kris4242

I have been married to my AH husband for almost 20 years. I have known for a long time that it will not work...I can't fix him. And he doesn't want to fix himself. Of course the problem that is killing me is "How do I leave this man I love so much?". I have been protecting him. And all that seems to ha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling today w/ the fact that I just want attention. Sometimes I feel like a spoiled brat that doesn't get her way. I am old enough now that I shouldn't suffer from this malady or make others suffer either. So, I beg for extra attention on here to. I want you all to listen to be & make me feel bett...

Venera · Venera

Got a phone call from jail last night from my husband asking to get him. He was asking me to go get him and he was acting mad at me. I actually went there with a baby at 1am (didn't want to do it the next say and miss job). But the officer told me that his bond amount wasn't released and I couldn't take him yet, so I...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So this really is it. 2 weeks to be out of here. A keeps trying to hook me into finding a place for all of us to live...but in essence he is behaving like a 12 year old who is cross that mummy is making him move house when he doesn't wanna. There is no adult contribution whatsoever; he looks up places on the inte...

Flower49 · Flower49

My AH called at 1030 last night to say he is moving today to the 3/4 way house, he said they "puked" him from the 1/2 way house. He will more than likely stay there for another 6 months. So he is happy. Me, I don't really care. He keeps saying we can now start doing all these things like marriage cou...

Overcome · Overcome

Boundaries was a topic at this mornings MIP meeting. Boy am I glad. I am really needing it this evening. My ex-husband and my daughter's father, and his father (the alcoholic and perpetrator of sex abuse to his son) are currently on the way to my house. I have told both of them that they are NOT welcome her...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Well school is going good, it is hard and I am struggling in one of my classes, always has to be one! My kids are doing really well in school, my oldest is getting straight A's and her best friend moved in with us for a couple months and that is going great. My 6 year old daughter is doing so much better than las...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

AH is upset I didn't invite him to daughters birthday party last weekend. I think that's why he is acting so awful. I posted already about bday party issues. So here comes the verbal abuse. I went to the house yesterday and texted him before I left...so he knew we were coming over so daughter could work w...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I don't understand only a few days ago I was feeling such freedom. The burden of living with an alcoholic was almost nonexistent, and today I'm feeling so depressed. Nothing has changed as far as my ah. He struggles to control it and is drinking about 1/4 of what he used to. This depression seems to have s...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So, A is being a total, complete and utter tool. That's not really important or surprising (it's actually good, he is making it so easy to not like him. It really feels like the guy i loved and this guy are 2 completely different human beings. The one I loved is in a coma and may never come out. This parody of...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Hello all, I'm new here. Funnily enough, I logged in and discovered the draft post I had written almost two weeks ago. Gee, my mind was racing and tired. I am glad I found this board, as attending face to face meetings is all but impossible for me. I have no babysitters. Its been a long long time sinc...

Carolina_H · Carolina_H

I used to be an active AFG member, but stopped going to meetings once I relocated to a new state. I tried a few times but was not a huge fan of how differently the meetings were run. Regardless, I'm seeking help and looking to get back into the program. My AH, who I thought had a healthy foot in recovery with o...

missmeliss · missmeliss

In the furthest town from anywhere I am likely to live; couldn't be much further away really lol but it's a start and a positive sign

Jerry F · Jerry F

Needed to come read and share a bit. Trying to do any kind of sane work within my messy head is like "___________" fill in your own ESH. It all applies. I got a call last evening from a "miracle" in recovery who I hadn't heard from for months yet had just minutes before thought of...

deramam · deramam

My AH's sister urgently requested we send her thousands of dollars in a check for our son's estate. He has a trust that is being set up from my AH's mother passing. We didn't know at the time that the trust would be set up by the lawyers after the estate settled. We sent her the check. We found out a couple mon...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So briefly, I am going to recap my weekend. I am so grateful that even though I didn't go to my reunion, I had a pretty good day. I am still seeing photos & I wish I could have been there for that(song lyrics again John Anderson). I am not sure how to take the photos. Should I be jealous or just enjoy them &a...

nichtdaisy · nichtdaisy

I've written to this forum a few times about my evolving situation with my ABF. We were both in denial about his alcoholism until he went on a bender, was arrested for drunk&disorderly on the 4th of July, and then kept up the drinking for another two days (we were out of touch). We don't live togeth...

Lyne · Lyne

I am annoyed with myself this morning. For two nights my spouse has logged between 12-14 hrs of sleep. Friday night she had stomach problems and last night her cheeks were flushed bright red. These are signs of drinking to me. I held it in as long as I could but this morning I asked her if she was drinki...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Thank you everyone in advance for being patient with my ruminating over my house. I have a choice to make. It's important. Everyone I know tells me to just let the house go into foreclosure...but let me tell you my options and please tell me what you would do in my situation. AH hasn't had a job since Janu...

milkwood · milkwood

Last week my/our relationship counsellor told me that I had 'distanced too far'. She is not a specialist in alcoholic relationships and has encouraged me to stay with AH and share our bed with him at times when, I think, I should have left. No blame, I made my own choices, but I did feel guilty and unsupp...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I thought it would be interesting to find out how many different countries we have on here. We can still be anonymous. I hope this question is ok to ask. I find it fascinating to hear from people across the world! Me? I've lived in California my whole life. -- Edited by Newlife girl on Wednesday 17th of S...

wifetoasaint · wifetoasaint

I am truly a walking soap opera. Seriously. Sometimes this is so unreal, my friends need proof to make sure I am not lying. This morning ( around 1am) I received a text message from my ex's phone (kindly labeled line 2), it was a response to the photo I sent him of our son in his Halloween costume we purch...

Luiza · Luiza

STBX called early this morning from work to talk to our daughter. I put it on loudspeaker and hear him saying he will come home early straight from work. Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't but given yesterday's incident, I though he would so I let my daughter think he would. So she has been waitin...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

She's decided to show up to pay her last respects to my bf's mother. She asked to come through my bf's and her adult daughter instead of calling him directly despite having his phone number and then told his dau to tell him she wouldn't come if it would bother him or if there would be a scene lol Thank go...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

After much drama in the past few weekends and the turn over at work good grief. Nothing full time that I would be interested in at this point. I'm ok right where I am. I have said I will have to get myself back into a real job not just part time at some point. My kids do not understand how good they have had i...

Luiza · Luiza

He asked me to all the addresses and days/times of all the meetings I have been to, and he will go there and tell them how they ruined our family and his life by filling my head with this BS and putting me against him. I wish I could be a fly on the wall, I really do. Shall I give him the MIP link too?

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! STEP 4 has been posted to the step board Here is the link Please share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboar...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I do know I have people who love me even if we rarely see each other. But ya know how it feels when you are with someone who loves you? You get hugged or they make ya tea, or you laugh together? I am starving for that, have been for years. My son usually keeps in contact. He just quit his job as a number one lead ma...

Sallygcoe · Sallygcoe

Good morning, I am I great need of advice on what is the right thing to say to a dry drunk! My A son has recently gotten to the point where he has stopped or so he says drinking/druggin sometimes. He/We have been on this awful roller coaster for about a month. I am diligently trying to work my al-anon progra...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Please help me figure this one out. AH tries to point the finger at me all the time. I feel crazy...again. When he tries to make me feel bad, it works! I don't want to feel bad any more! About a week ago, he said it wold be awkward if he went to daughters bday party with my mom and sister there. He told me and dau...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I've been thinking a lot recently about the Bible story of the master giving his servants different numbers of talents, one got ten, one five and one received just one or two - not being an expert on the book, that is the gist I remember from the story, the details being less important than the message. Th...

lulu0603 · lulu0603

my husband is an alcoholic and has been for many years. his favorite choice is whiskey. for months now i have been stressed and depressed. it is so hard feeling like this all the time. my feelings are taking a toll on my children. i have been married to my husband for 11 years but the past year and a half has...

Mirandac · Mirandac

my mother wants to visit me with her bf for a few days and I really am not up for that. I am still in the grieving and mourning stage of my marriage Ending. She wanted to come when AH was still here and we were not getting along i said no. I had been down to visit her in June for 4 nights With my two sisters. she is...

Gaby · Gaby

missmeliss · missmeliss

3 weeks until the final, non-negotiable eviction date. All real estate applications unsuccessful. The rent is weeks behind thanks to A's latest gambling binge so, there's pretty much no hope of anyone approving an application at this stage. I simply don't have the money to pay his share; I don't hav...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I need all the ESH I can get today. This might be long, but I would appreciate any wisdom and encouragement I can get. I am thinking of a few statements I've heard here. "Don't go to the hardware store for bread." Today I heard a great one "I learned to listen with my eyes" (love it!) s...

andromeda · andromeda

Ok, so I had a VERY long talk with my sponsor last night about my concerns for my son. Mostly my fears revolve around his academics and my homeschooling of him. I worry constantly that I've let him down. I didn't know how to teach to his learning disabilities, I didn't place enough pressure on him or te...

Gailey · Gailey

and has not gone to one meeting yet. How disappointing! I am sure that he was drinking the day after he came out. I have to say that I was totally shocked about it. I have refrained from confronting him about it. What good would it do? I really can not be around him much anymore....drinking or not drinking....

Diva · Diva

That's me today. I lay on the sofa in the Key West room late this morning and slept through a couple of really bad morning programs, then decided to get up and get the body going. I went to Wal Mart to get business sized envelopes and found they had taken all the office "stuff" and stuffed it so...

Gaby · Gaby

Well it's been a while.. I'm doing ok, I am alive and taking life one second at a time. As far as my son, he is incarcerated and I thank god for intervening!! Mean while.. I have gone to visit him and when he gets released, he is going into a one year rehab program.. I will continue with my face to face meetings...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well it happened. My SO got laid off today and right now I'm a little lost. All I can do is let HP show me the way to do what is necessary to make ends meet. Me thinks it's time to sell the house sooner than later. My SO....he's a mess and is very mad at the world.....and I'm included because I won't marry hi...

Luiza · Luiza

So today the school where I work is closed for staff training and team building. I was invited by the bosses to attend the day. It meant that I had to take time off from my second job and arrange someone to take care of my daughter. It has been an interesting experience. First of all I arrive on the time I was t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...I've been peeking and I know you know cause I've been tapped a few times as I listened and learned more. I'm still quiet and have changed direction toward taking care of some of my needs as I've been taught and suggested. News...my sponsee who was lost on Oahu with his mother when the tr...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My cousin is home & seems to be safe now. I have to call her daughter still & get some details. Me, I am anxious & sad about a few things. I have made some somewhat major decisions lately. One: I decided not to fly for my 30th HS class reunion. I can't even go at all because I fear the worst. I know m...

ceak · ceak

First, I'd like to say that I'm thankful I found a group like this. Personally, I'm not in recovery, but my husband is. In all honestly, I really wish we had a NARAnon group closer to me becase I could really use it. Here's the BG - 10 months ago my husband decided to become clean and sober. He would drink occ...

sookie · sookie

If someone is on probation for multiple DUIs, are they not supposed to be drinking at all during that time? I know my AH has smoked pot (probably 2 months ago) and is probably drinking again. We are separated. If I called the police, would he get in major trouble--could they even do tests to see if he has be...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I need huge prayers for my cousin who has seemed to run away after a huge bout w/ depression & pain. She left her home in her van to travel many miles away to go to a church she basically grew up in on a day that most churches are closed. She has taken off before on foot to go see her son. She recently moved aw...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Little sister got in touch with me last night. She lives out of home part time- that means she wants somewhere to keep her large family of pet rats (she can't have them at my parents house anymore as my mum is allergic) but still has a bed and stuff at my parents and stays there when she has school. Before you...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Confused I want to leave him but have doubts (Preview) My husband is alcholic who is in denial..... I'm tired angry and soooo confused. How have I let him control my everything when his sad I'm sad when he is happy im happy and im scared of the damage to our girls mentally emotionally I want to scream and shout and walk out with my girls and never see him again bu...	No more	7	601	Oct 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Ok So I am New Here.... (Preview) Hello All! I am new to this site and wanted to introduce myself. I am the mom of three awesome little men, and currently married to an alcoholic. I have finally reached a point where I really do not know what to do any more. I can no longer continue in the cycle and hear the lies and deal with the broken promis...	Courtney	9	488	Oct 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	guilt about divorce (Preview) UGH--last night my AH and I met with a lawyer--trying to move forward amicably which is a relief (as long as he doesn't suddenly go back on his word or change his mind). My AH cried and was really upset...I have been focusing SO much on how he is cleaning me out financially (I'm the one who makes literally A...	sookie	11	740	Oct 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Help and Advice Needed (Preview) Hey all, lately I have gotten calls from family members on wanting to know how to stop or how to manage their loved one's disease or how to "take care" of a loved one that is coming from recovery treatment. Usually I can suggest going to a meeting or two with me, or refer to them to this board. My A...	Flower49	1	243	Oct 2, 2014 by grateful2be
	You know when .. (Preview) You know when you think ok .. this is ok it's going to get better and everything is fine. Apparently I have some lessons to learn in that area because Verna's post about not being mad got me thinking .. LOL .. Ohhh I'm angry today. It's ok because it's going to pass, .. I kind of think I'm more afraid than I a...	SerenityRUS	14	591	Oct 2, 2014 by bud
	Rant. Should really stop the habit of helping/rescuing people. (Preview) So I have this neighbour who used to be my client. She is a bit helpless and I am used to help her a lot with pretty much every aspect of her life, however she is seldom "there" for me, lets me down a lot...that is fine. She is a lovely person and I like her a lot, I know she is disorganised and all over...	Luiza	7	580	Oct 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Don't should on me... my rant! (Preview) I am unsure why this bothers me and I know to take what I like and leave the rest. I am trying to go back and read and catch up, I am seeing lots of advice giving and shoulding on people. I am pretty sure I have learned a lot in my years of al-anon and a big lesson was if I had it all figured out I wouldn't be here in th...	Breakingfree	12	759	Oct 2, 2014 by bud
	If you could... (Preview) If you could recommend only 1 book... which would it be?	deramam	12	591	Oct 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	back on the recovery wagon. (Preview) well. Its been a mental weekend. Complete with a messy house which I hate and find so much harder to clean with an emotional hangover. Today I have finally worked out the est time conversion for online meetings,now that I have replaced my phone. The old one died after I threw it at the ground because my co...	aquamom23	8	528	Oct 1, 2014 by bud
	"Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackle all my probelms at once." (Preview) Hi all I had a terrible morning of self doubt and worry about where my life and marriage would go, but after reading this "Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackle all my problems at once." I realise that I had fallen into a deep dark hole, it can often happen so quickly t...	Sean_82	8	518	Oct 1, 2014 by bud
	right or wrong? (Preview) My exah has had a bad accident and is basically disabled and housebound for the next few months. So, my kids have actually made me very proud,they have been taking turns in looking after him. Anyway, I decided to phone him and tell him im thinking of him and if I can help to phone me. My kids have been gettin...	el-cee	32	849	Oct 1, 2014 by bud
	Brand new to it all... (Preview) My fiance has a drinking problem. He will admit it but thats as far as he will go. He says he wants help, but he says he has it under control. I love him very much. We have been together for a year and a half, and plan to marry next spring. I just dont know how to feel, what to say or do. He has lost jobs and hides it w...	shellbell77	3	240	Oct 1, 2014 by Southerngirl
	How do I Leave Him? (Preview) I have been married to my AH husband for almost 20 years. I have known for a long time that it will not work...I can't fix him. And he doesn't want to fix himself. Of course the problem that is killing me is "How do I leave this man I love so much?". I have been protecting him. And all that seems to ha...	kris4242	23	686	Oct 1, 2014 by kris4242
	I guess I just want attenion... (Preview) I am struggling today w/ the fact that I just want attention. Sometimes I feel like a spoiled brat that doesn't get her way. I am old enough now that I shouldn't suffer from this malady or make others suffer either. So, I beg for extra attention on here to. I want you all to listen to be & make me feel bett...	Hoot Nanny	4	444	Oct 1, 2014 by Debilyn
	Dwi... Please some good thoughts!(( (Preview) Got a phone call from jail last night from my husband asking to get him. He was asking me to go get him and he was acting mad at me. I actually went there with a baby at 1am (didn't want to do it the next say and miss job). But the officer told me that his bond amount wasn't released and I couldn't take him yet, so I...	Venera	14	3339	Sep 30, 2014 by pinkchip
	This is a moan about A and his behaviour in our final days. Sorry, some whinging and sarcasm contained within... (Preview) So this really is it. 2 weeks to be out of here. A keeps trying to hook me into finding a place for all of us to live...but in essence he is behaving like a 12 year old who is cross that mummy is making him move house when he doesn't wanna. There is no adult contribution whatsoever; he looks up places on the inte...	missmeliss	37	703	Sep 30, 2014 by pinkchip
	Moving to 3/4 way house (Preview) My AH called at 1030 last night to say he is moving today to the 3/4 way house, he said they "puked" him from the 1/2 way house. He will more than likely stay there for another 6 months. So he is happy. Me, I don't really care. He keeps saying we can now start doing all these things like marriage cou...	Flower49	11	596	Sep 30, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Boundaries (Preview) Boundaries was a topic at this mornings MIP meeting. Boy am I glad. I am really needing it this evening. My ex-husband and my daughter's father, and his father (the alcoholic and perpetrator of sex abuse to his son) are currently on the way to my house. I have told both of them that they are NOT welcome her...	Overcome	10	569	Sep 30, 2014 by Overcome
	Update on me and the going ons in my life with recovery! (Preview) Well school is going good, it is hard and I am struggling in one of my classes, always has to be one! My kids are doing really well in school, my oldest is getting straight A's and her best friend moved in with us for a couple months and that is going great. My 6 year old daughter is doing so much better than las...	Breakingfree	8	510	Sep 30, 2014 by PP
	Tools to cope with verbal abuse (Preview) AH is upset I didn't invite him to daughters birthday party last weekend. I think that's why he is acting so awful. I posted already about bday party issues. So here comes the verbal abuse. I went to the house yesterday and texted him before I left...so he knew we were coming over so daughter could work w...	Newlife girl	16	568	Sep 30, 2014 by hotrod
	feeling such freedom then depression (Preview) I don't understand only a few days ago I was feeling such freedom. The burden of living with an alcoholic was almost nonexistent, and today I'm feeling so depressed. Nothing has changed as far as my ah. He struggles to control it and is drinking about 1/4 of what he used to. This depression seems to have s...	cloudyskies	21	560	Sep 30, 2014 by milkwood
	....and a house, maybe... (Preview) So, A is being a total, complete and utter tool. That's not really important or surprising (it's actually good, he is making it so easy to not like him. It really feels like the guy i loved and this guy are 2 completely different human beings. The one I loved is in a coma and may never come out. This parody of...	missmeliss	10	523	Sep 30, 2014 by el-cee
	new here but not to the dis-ease: hi everyone. (Preview) Hello all, I'm new here. Funnily enough, I logged in and discovered the draft post I had written almost two weeks ago. Gee, my mind was racing and tired. I am glad I found this board, as attending face to face meetings is all but impossible for me. I have no babysitters. Its been a long long time sinc...	aquamom23	8	517	Sep 30, 2014 by el-cee
	New to board - AH Relapse after 21 months (Preview) I used to be an active AFG member, but stopped going to meetings once I relocated to a new state. I tried a few times but was not a huge fan of how differently the meetings were run. Regardless, I'm seeking help and looking to get back into the program. My AH, who I thought had a healthy foot in recovery with o...	Carolina_H	6	492	Sep 29, 2014 by hotrod
	Job!!! (Preview) In the furthest town from anywhere I am likely to live; couldn't be much further away really lol but it's a start and a positive sign	missmeliss	25	830	Sep 29, 2014 by bud
	How to help ourselves... (Preview) Needed to come read and share a bit. Trying to do any kind of sane work within my messy head is like "___________" fill in your own ESH. It all applies. I got a call last evening from a "miracle" in recovery who I hadn't heard from for months yet had just minutes before thought of...	Jerry F	9	485	Sep 29, 2014 by bud
	AH's sister (Preview) My AH's sister urgently requested we send her thousands of dollars in a check for our son's estate. He has a trust that is being set up from my AH's mother passing. We didn't know at the time that the trust would be set up by the lawyers after the estate settled. We sent her the check. We found out a couple mon...	deramam	4	373	Sep 29, 2014 by deramam
	made it through the weekend...now here goes another week! (Preview) So briefly, I am going to recap my weekend. I am so grateful that even though I didn't go to my reunion, I had a pretty good day. I am still seeing photos & I wish I could have been there for that(song lyrics again John Anderson). I am not sure how to take the photos. Should I be jealous or just enjoy them &a...	Hoot Nanny	2	244	Sep 29, 2014 by Temple
	Breaking up and Boundaries (Preview) I've written to this forum a few times about my evolving situation with my ABF. We were both in denial about his alcoholism until he went on a bender, was arrested for drunk&disorderly on the 4th of July, and then kept up the drinking for another two days (we were out of touch). We don't live togeth...	nichtdaisy	2	369	Sep 29, 2014 by Temple
	old habits die hard (Preview) I am annoyed with myself this morning. For two nights my spouse has logged between 12-14 hrs of sleep. Friday night she had stomach problems and last night her cheeks were flushed bright red. These are signs of drinking to me. I held it in as long as I could but this morning I asked her if she was drinki...	Lyne	6	385	Sep 29, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Need thoughts desperately about my house choices (Preview) Thank you everyone in advance for being patient with my ruminating over my house. I have a choice to make. It's important. Everyone I know tells me to just let the house go into foreclosure...but let me tell you my options and please tell me what you would do in my situation. AH hasn't had a job since Janu...	Newlife girl	27	563	Sep 29, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Thoughts on distancing (Preview) Last week my/our relationship counsellor told me that I had 'distanced too far'. She is not a specialist in alcoholic relationships and has encouraged me to stay with AH and share our bed with him at times when, I think, I should have left. No blame, I made my own choices, but I did feel guilty and unsupp...	milkwood	11	576	Sep 29, 2014 by milkwood
	Where is everyone from? ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) I thought it would be interesting to find out how many different countries we have on here. We can still be anonymous. I hope this question is ok to ask. I find it fascinating to hear from people across the world! Me? I've lived in California my whole life. -- Edited by Newlife girl on Wednesday 17th of S...	Newlife girl	89	1813	Sep 29, 2014 by jitsuka
	X AH already engaged just days after divorce (Preview) I am truly a walking soap opera. Seriously. Sometimes this is so unreal, my friends need proof to make sure I am not lying. This morning ( around 1am) I received a text message from my ex's phone (kindly labeled line 2), it was a response to the photo I sent him of our son in his Halloween costume we purch...	wifetoasaint	8	444	Sep 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	How to introduce the programme to a 7 year old? (Preview) STBX called early this morning from work to talk to our daughter. I put it on loudspeaker and hear him saying he will come home early straight from work. Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't but given yesterday's incident, I though he would so I let my daughter think he would. So she has been waitin...	Luiza	8	422	Sep 29, 2014 by Luiza
	More drama from his ex (Preview) She's decided to show up to pay her last respects to my bf's mother. She asked to come through my bf's and her adult daughter instead of calling him directly despite having his phone number and then told his dau to tell him she wouldn't come if it would bother him or if there would be a scene lol Thank go...	tiredtonite	10	575	Sep 28, 2014 by hotrod
	Big weekend :) (Preview) After much drama in the past few weekends and the turn over at work good grief. Nothing full time that I would be interested in at this point. I'm ok right where I am. I have said I will have to get myself back into a real job not just part time at some point. My kids do not understand how good they have had i...	SerenityRUS	2	314	Sep 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	STBXH will go to Al-Anon meetings... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) He asked me to all the addresses and days/times of all the meetings I have been to, and he will go there and tell them how they ruined our family and his life by filling my head with this BS and putting me against him. I wish I could be a fly on the wall, I really do. Shall I give him the MIP link too?	Luiza	42	888	Sep 28, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Step 4 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! STEP 4 has been posted to the step board Here is the link Please share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboar...	hotrod	0	242	Sep 28, 2014 by hotrod
	feeling being loved. (Preview) I do know I have people who love me even if we rarely see each other. But ya know how it feels when you are with someone who loves you? You get hugged or they make ya tea, or you laugh together? I am starving for that, have been for years. My son usually keeps in contact. He just quit his job as a number one lead ma...	Debilyn	15	425	Sep 28, 2014 by jitsuka
	Need advice on what is the correct thing to say to a dry drunk! (Preview) Good morning, I am I great need of advice on what is the right thing to say to a dry drunk! My A son has recently gotten to the point where he has stopped or so he says drinking/druggin sometimes. He/We have been on this awful roller coaster for about a month. I am diligently trying to work my al-anon progra...	Sallygcoe	13	365	Sep 28, 2014 by Mattie
	AH acting crazy on our daughter's birthday (Preview) Please help me figure this one out. AH tries to point the finger at me all the time. I feel crazy...again. When he tries to make me feel bad, it works! I don't want to feel bad any more! About a week ago, he said it wold be awkward if he went to daughters bday party with my mom and sister there. He told me and dau...	Newlife girl	15	723	Sep 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	Talents - what are yours? (Preview) I've been thinking a lot recently about the Bible story of the master giving his servants different numbers of talents, one got ten, one five and one received just one or two - not being an expert on the book, that is the gist I remember from the story, the details being less important than the message. Th...	likemyheart	8	500	Sep 28, 2014 by andromeda
	if it were simple.... (Preview) my husband is an alcoholic and has been for many years. his favorite choice is whiskey. for months now i have been stressed and depressed. it is so hard feeling like this all the time. my feelings are taking a toll on my children. i have been married to my husband for 11 years but the past year and a half has...	lulu0603	5	351	Sep 28, 2014 by Debilyn
	Mother to visit (Preview) my mother wants to visit me with her bf for a few days and I really am not up for that. I am still in the grieving and mourning stage of my marriage Ending. She wanted to come when AH was still here and we were not getting along i said no. I had been down to visit her in June for 4 nights With my two sisters. she is...	Mirandac	18	483	Sep 27, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Morning all !!! (Preview)	Gaby	2	208	Sep 27, 2014 by hotrod
	The good, the bad and the gaaaaah. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) 3 weeks until the final, non-negotiable eviction date. All real estate applications unsuccessful. The rent is weeks behind thanks to A's latest gambling binge so, there's pretty much no hope of anyone approving an application at this stage. I simply don't have the money to pay his share; I don't hav...	missmeliss	49	1076	Sep 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	I have to stop torturing myself (Preview) I need all the ESH I can get today. This might be long, but I would appreciate any wisdom and encouragement I can get. I am thinking of a few statements I've heard here. "Don't go to the hardware store for bread." Today I heard a great one "I learned to listen with my eyes" (love it!) s...	Newlife girl	18	618	Sep 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	Worrying about your kids (Preview) Ok, so I had a VERY long talk with my sponsor last night about my concerns for my son. Mostly my fears revolve around his academics and my homeschooling of him. I worry constantly that I've let him down. I didn't know how to teach to his learning disabilities, I didn't place enough pressure on him or te...	andromeda	11	503	Sep 27, 2014 by Debilyn
	A son out of rehab 1 week (Preview) and has not gone to one meeting yet. How disappointing! I am sure that he was drinking the day after he came out. I have to say that I was totally shocked about it. I have refrained from confronting him about it. What good would it do? I really can not be around him much anymore....drinking or not drinking....	Gailey	13	945	Sep 27, 2014 by pinkchip
	Ever get just tired out? (Preview) That's me today. I lay on the sofa in the Key West room late this morning and slept through a couple of really bad morning programs, then decided to get up and get the body going. I went to Wal Mart to get business sized envelopes and found they had taken all the office "stuff" and stuffed it so...	Diva	4	480	Sep 27, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Hello all !!! (Preview) Well it's been a while.. I'm doing ok, I am alive and taking life one second at a time. As far as my son, he is incarcerated and I thank god for intervening!! Mean while.. I have gone to visit him and when he gets released, he is going into a one year rehab program.. I will continue with my face to face meetings...	Gaby	7	392	Sep 27, 2014 by Gaby
	This weeks problem (Preview) Well it happened. My SO got laid off today and right now I'm a little lost. All I can do is let HP show me the way to do what is necessary to make ends meet. Me thinks it's time to sell the house sooner than later. My SO....he's a mess and is very mad at the world.....and I'm included because I won't marry hi...	Cathyinaz	5	481	Sep 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	Having an interesting day... (Preview) So today the school where I work is closed for staff training and team building. I was invited by the bosses to attend the day. It meant that I had to take time off from my second job and arrange someone to take care of my daughter. It has been an interesting experience. First of all I arrive on the time I was t...	Luiza	4	381	Sep 26, 2014 by Kerrymom
	Peeking...know you won't mind.... (Preview) Aloha Family...I've been peeking and I know you know cause I've been tapped a few times as I listened and learned more. I'm still quiet and have changed direction toward taking care of some of my needs as I've been taught and suggested. News...my sponsee who was lost on Oahu with his mother when the tr...	Jerry F	12	527	Sep 26, 2014 by Jen61
	she's home & hopefully safe(but there is more) I am anxious & sad. (Preview) My cousin is home & seems to be safe now. I have to call her daughter still & get some details. Me, I am anxious & sad about a few things. I have made some somewhat major decisions lately. One: I decided not to fly for my 30th HS class reunion. I can't even go at all because I fear the worst. I know m...	Hoot Nanny	2	279	Sep 26, 2014 by hotrod
	Needing some advice, I'm the wife of a recovering addict (Preview) First, I'd like to say that I'm thankful I found a group like this. Personally, I'm not in recovery, but my husband is. In all honestly, I really wish we had a NARAnon group closer to me becase I could really use it. Here's the BG - 10 months ago my husband decided to become clean and sober. He would drink occ...	ceak	11	557	Sep 26, 2014 by Mattie
	Probation violation (Preview) If someone is on probation for multiple DUIs, are they not supposed to be drinking at all during that time? I know my AH has smoked pot (probably 2 months ago) and is probably drinking again. We are separated. If I called the police, would he get in major trouble--could they even do tests to see if he has be...	sookie	8	810	Sep 26, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	my sweet cousin; why did you go away? (Preview) I need huge prayers for my cousin who has seemed to run away after a huge bout w/ depression & pain. She left her home in her van to travel many miles away to go to a church she basically grew up in on a day that most churches are closed. She has taken off before on foot to go see her son. She recently moved aw...	Hoot Nanny	3	369	Sep 25, 2014 by Debilyn
	Interesting development. (Preview) Little sister got in touch with me last night. She lives out of home part time- that means she wants somewhere to keep her large family of pet rats (she can't have them at my parents house anymore as my mum is allergic) but still has a bed and stuff at my parents and stays there when she has school. Before you...	missmeliss	7	480	Sep 25, 2014 by Cathyinaz
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.