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So sorry I didn't use my al anon tools...
(Preview)
I came home and found AH drunk on his day off from work. Our 13 year old was also home from school only an hour before. Son was upstairs in his room. I just lost it when I saw AH. My anger was seething. We had a huge argument in the garage and I told him to leave. We are legally separated but he has been living with...
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Jessmine
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11
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712
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No drunk enough or high enough to not know what you have done - a story of hope
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I watched an interview today with a celebrity who has been in recovery for many years. One of the things she said that really got my attention was that she learned that she couldn't get drunk enough or high enough not to know what she had really done and the shame of it. Three marriages that all ended for...
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grateful2be
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46
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1263
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Is it possible to work thru the anger and frustration and stay with the alcoholic?
(Preview)
I too am so confused. My husband is a fantastic guy - when he doesn't drink. He has had several times where he just doesn't drink which is fantastic and then it starts again. I really care about him but the drinking makes me soooo angry! It feels that by the time I come home from work I might as well have s...
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Toodles
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14
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718
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Working Acceptance
(Preview)
It feels like its not often that I can share something positive- and- I thought this may be helpful for when we're certain we're at the end of our rope, tied a knot and have been forever holding on. For those that dont know, Ive been estranged by my family of origin with the exception that I am, under limit...
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bud
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6
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611
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My friend works alot
(Preview)
I've texted my male friend off and on all day. It he only texted me one time early this morning answer my ? Of weather he could come by my place to have a cup of coffee he texted he was on his way to another town 40 mins away on an emergency call that he was on the road already so that being said I left it alone. It af...
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lookingup
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18
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830
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Said what I meant but didn't say it mean
(Preview)
I am prefacing this post with some background. It's my first time here and I'm grateful this is here. I love Al-Anon and all the people in it. I've been in Al-Anon for over 2 years and it has been my saving grace and my key to peace. I'm learning to depend on my HP more. I'm working my program more. The most, I'...
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alwaysLP13
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6
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706
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Procrastination and justification
(Preview)
This is just a rant. Again. I am absolutely sick of AH and his procrastination. He is helping daughter with a school project. I asked him to help her with it 2 weeks ago. So, he is working on it at the last minute of course. Doesn't surprise me. He tells me "if worse comes to worse, she can turn it in the n...
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Newlife girl
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31
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1255
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Suddenly spoiled for choice....
(Preview)
Interesting how when I finally gave in and decided to make peace with the idea of going to my parents, other offers started to roll in. I declined the 2 potential job offers because I was going to be living hours away in a city where jobs would be relatively easy to find. I spoke to daughter's school about t...
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missmeliss
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8
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553
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Trying to Follow Al Anon Rules
(Preview)
I've been trying to follow the list of Al Anon Do's and Don'ts and am unsure what to do in the current situation. My alcoholic daughter moved out of our house a little over 2 weeks ago, leaving her husband behind still living at our house. When she left she only took her backpack, dog, purse and a small pl...
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vm54
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1
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499
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I jumped right up.
(Preview)
Hi all - I've posted on here before about an extremely unhealthy relationship I had with my ex who is an alcoholic. I did everything for him and he was still a sack of s*** (cheating, lies, whatever). Anyway, we broke up a while ago. He text me this morning about coming to see office space I had offered him b...
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Forgiveness82
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2
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426
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Watching my codependence swing into action..
(Preview)
Really struck by my own feelings and how easily they can regress given the right triggers. Don't get me wrong, I'm moving forward and feeling a lot more positive about it now that a lot of the junk has been cleared from my house, and more options are opening up for me too. But over the weekend A went off to a...
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missmeliss
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5
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614
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Settling
(Preview)
This topic has been a big challenge for me in relationships and throughout the rest of my life. When I entered into recovery, it occurred to me that I had always settled for less than I wanted out of life. I settled for relationships that didn't work and that made me unhappy. I settled for jobs that wer...
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pinkchip
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23
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882
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How do I get a handle on anger and resentment?
(Preview)
I am just beginning the process of getting myself to a better place with my decision to leave my AH. I think the most difficult thing I am having trouble with is I can't seem to step back from my anger. It's almost like I am justifying it to myself that I have every right to be angry after all that I have let my A...
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kris4242
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7
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1319
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Yesterday I had answers today none.
(Preview)
Yesterday I started to talk to some one in line and they came right out and said I'm recovering alcholic . I said well nice to meet you thank you for being honest with me and your self . So since we had something in common already we started to talk about how alchol ruined our lives . Well he started to talk abo...
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Wisdom67
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5
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646
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Withdraws
(Preview)
Ok now I'm going into what I call relationship withdraws and withdraws from being with a man I fell in love with and all the good times we had yrs of it to this nothing .wow what a roller coaster ride this time that I just jumped off from .i feel like I'm on the wagon like someone said my addictions are relatio...
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lookingup
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7
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548
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Need suggestions.
(Preview)
I'm looking for inspiration, strength, something to get me headed in the right direction. I know all the right answers but actually following through is more difficult than it seems. I do not want to lose my husband but I also do not want to lose myself. I want to live my life, be happy, move ahead and...
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JustLea
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5
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451
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I have a problem with time limits!
(Preview)
I just pay too much attention to the time it's taking me to get it, not only that then I can forget I actually got it and thats where reminders come in, other peoples, I am sooooooooooooo hard on myself most times always wanting to be independent always wanting things to end on a good note, I forget I am only...
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Katy
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4
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603
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The purge.
(Preview)
Had a surprisingly good day yesterday, just packing packing packing and purging...the garage is almost empty. It's hard to believe. We got all of the rubbish out in one gigantic trailer-load and I have to say throwing it all down into the pit was sooooo satisfying. Videos...like I'm ever going to wat...
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missmeliss
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6
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525
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hi! I'm new :)
(Preview)
hello! I'm Fairlee. Married 19 years to a great guy, if it wasn't for his alcohol addiction. He has been a heavy drinker as long as I have known him, but things are starting to progress in a very negative direction, affecting our livelihood (which he denies...we are self-employed, which makes his drin...
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Fairlee
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9
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812
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Sharing an eye-opening suggestion...
(Preview)
Note to self...NEVER assign a specific iPhone pre-loaded text/ring tone to your significant other. Ive learned my lesson-LOL. Although we split quite some time ago, it's amazing how I still react to this. I was in a meeting the other day and someone kept getting text message alerts with the same t...
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LiveLaughLove
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5
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536
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Business Meeting tonight to follow regular meeting
(Preview)
Please be there so you can help make a difference! Tricia
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Tricia911
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1
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373
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Dislike vs Acceptance
(Preview)
Thought I would start a separate topic of discussion instead of posing this onto someone's similar topic, do not want to take away from their discussion!! Was wondering about acceptance and disliking the situation at the same t...
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Debb
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12
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780
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Alcoholism and domestic abuse
(Preview)
Hi. Just wondering if alcoholism goes hand and hand with domestic abuse/name calling/harassement etc or this is down to the individual's personality?
My STBXH's drinking bothers me a lot but if he was a quiet/passive/tame drunk I think I would stay in the relationship albeit unhappy. It is the lac...
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Luiza
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9
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826
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Sunday Morning MIP Chat room Spiritual Meeting
(Preview)
I'm BACKkkkkk! I will be doing the Sunday morning Spiritual Meetings again, we will just wing it this morning; but starting next Sunday morning I should have my scripts back up and running (I hope) and we will start on Chapter 3, of Having had a Spiritual Awaking; which to the best of my knowledge is wher...
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Overcome
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0
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362
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Suicide, Mental Hospital, and Alcoholics
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I am new here and am joining after a very hard week. As a bit of background, my husband has a sister and mother who are alcoholics and they live several states away. His sister has a niece who we are now caring for. I will call her Suzy for sake of anonymnimity. Suzy has been abused all of he...
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enonymous
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11
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772
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Re: Told I'm game playing
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I'm pretty new to MIP. I've been working hard on Step 1 and Step 2 but I keep running into the same problem with my active alcoholic partner that he is getting angry with me making changes to how I relate to him in our relationship and he keeps saying that I am just game playing. How do I get him to take what I am...
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rainbow
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40
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2986
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The fun begins.
(Preview)
Parents came today to help me patch up the damage here, pack stuff, nothing has worked out in any way house-wise so, daughter and I are moving in with them for lack of any alternatives whatsoever. It's not an outcome I would have asked for. Ever. Of course I am grateful that we have a safe place to go but it i...
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missmeliss
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11
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794
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My old girl got bit!
(Preview)
Daisy, our oldest dog, was bit by our neighbor's dog on Friday. We just moved to a new house, and have already had problems with one of their dogs, Coda. Coda is old, and has very bad hip dysplasia and should last another 6 months. or so. But in the meantime she's on steroids and oxycodone, and is stoned...
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KennyFenderjazz
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30
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1101
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I miss Tom.
(Preview)
I clicked on a new thread and saw his picture came up and I was so excited. And Maresie and Jen and another one or two I remember from back in the day. Thom was such a help to so many. It was a comfort every time he posted. It was a comfort once when he removed one of my posts, just to know he was watching. I won...
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Temple
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7
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579
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Pushy Sponsors
(Preview)
Hi again, I have just got a sponsor, but did not pick her she asked me if I would like her to be my sponsor and because we drive to the meetings together I thought why not. Now that she is my sponsor she has turned in to a very pushy person and is always asking me about my husband who is the alcoholic. She is tr...
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Bothered
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8
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1300
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He bonded himself out
(Preview)
Yesterday he bonded himself out of jail by putting his car title up bond was set at 500 bondsman dropped him off at my driveway he came walking in scared me to death took me by surprise he always has tricks up his sleeve which is scary I've always called him the master mind he can figure out anything and I me...
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lookingup
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7
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678
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Resentment, honesty, and fear
(Preview)
Hi all, I've been working through Blueprint for Recovery as part of my 4th step. It's such a great, eye-opening exercise to address all these topics--from money, to intimacy, to responsibilities--and to literally take an inventory. I've found so much good in myself, and also so many areas that need...
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NL14
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15
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1558
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Holy crap, how did we get here?
(Preview)
i haven't been here in awhile, but I'd still been using the AlAnon tools. Looking after myself, not getting involved in anything that made the crazy-brain start, letting go. Usual stuff, and things were going well. On Monday, my AH looked me in the face and said, 'I'm done. No more drinking.' I was...
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SpiderArcana
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4
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480
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Heartbroken
(Preview)
I wrote my AH a letter today. I have not been able to talk to him. He's never sober anymore. I have to make a boundary. This has been very hard for me. I found out (looked at phone records) that he is still communicating with other woman. This makes me so sad. Just had our anniversary a week ago. I tho...
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Hullibee
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32
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862
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Sarcasm, silencing, shunning, scorn
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Recently, I spent some time with some folks who I've known for a long while. My experience with most of them was a pleasant one. One of the group, however, uses sarcasm to express scorn, attempts to silence or tunes out to what is being said for reasons of his own. I can only wonder if alcoholism has pl...
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grateful2be
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46
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1560
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Kids.. dos and donts
(Preview)
I am very new to this program, so I am just starting to learn. I have been listening to the alanon speakers on YouTube, reading books, going to f2f and MIP. So I am really getting confused as to what is the right behavior towards them and where my responsibility ends. Is there a good book or another source t...
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Venera
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6
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640
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He is all packed up.
(Preview)
STBX has no place to go to, but he is packing everything up. All the plates, cutlery, pots and pans...cups and glasses...I don't know how I am going to use the kitchen tomorrow. I really don't have time (and money) to go and buy a whole household stuff but I will have to sort something out immediately. Tha...
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Luiza
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17
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798
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Working things out (in my mind .. LOL)
(Preview)
Not with him .. LOL! I just wanted to clarify that part of the deal. I'm so grateful I know I would not go back if I was paid to go back. That decision has been solidified in my mind, heart and soul. I would never want to go back to that kind of abuse again. I have really positive news I will have to wait to s...
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SerenityRUS
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5
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660
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Scared out of wits
(Preview)
As you prolly have figured out by me not posting in such a long time and being the ultimate codependent that I am that yes I did take x ab back into my home,now to fill y'all in on the rest of what's happened bf went to work so he said stayed gone out of town for 2days would call me one time a day to say hi and that th...
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lookingup
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11
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817
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why can't I just do what I want?(sorry long)
(Preview)
Well the need for attention is not present today...I am just grateful for friends & family & how much I need them & they need me. I am often asked for my opinion & it really matters to people. I don't have to put on "airs" anymore. The program has taught me how to better deal w/ p...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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702
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What he says hurts
(Preview)
I still need to grow a thicker skin. AH has a tone of voice with me that's hard to hear. He just can't be polite and civil. he hangs up on me a lot even when I am just talking about daughter and her schedule. So I asked him to please sound better in front of daughter and he says "why do you suddenly want to be...
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Newlife girl
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8
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670
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I wonder if this has ever happened.
(Preview)
I never did climb on DDH about his drinking back in the day, because he didn't do it very often for the longest time, and when he did, he was able to drive well enough to fool me, and he was very happy and wasn't abusive and I didn't realize for 14 years that he was an alcoholic. (Duh) A few times I did try to exp...
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Temple
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20
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692
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If we teach people how to treat us, I'm satified with how I responded this week anyway
(Preview)
I've been having some interesting experiences this week that tested my boundaries and worth. I've been assigned to a new team at work. Two members on the team well.. there is no other way to say it but than to just say it.. each of them is their own universe. One of them is the head of the team and enjoys em...
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tiredtonite
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5
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568
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Having trouble with a terrible defect
(Preview)
I'm struggling with this and don't know which program tools to use to dig myself out of this hole. I'm so overwhelmed I can't see straight and would appreciate some ESH. Because my XAH is so incapable, raising our child has fallen to me. My XAH pays no childcare (I might be able to get a court order for a s...
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Mattie
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13
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697
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"He who would have beautiful roses in his garden must have beautiful roses in his heart"
(Preview)
Love this quote really helped me today hope it helps you too. :)
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Sean_82
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4
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666
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Confused I want to leave him but have doubts
(Preview)
My husband is alcholic who is in denial..... I'm tired angry and soooo confused. How have I let him control my everything when his sad I'm sad when he is happy im happy and im scared of the damage to our girls mentally emotionally I want to scream and shout and walk out with my girls and never see him again bu...
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No more
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7
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744
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Ok So I am New Here....
(Preview)
Hello All! I am new to this site and wanted to introduce myself. I am the mom of three awesome little men, and currently married to an alcoholic. I have finally reached a point where I really do not know what to do any more. I can no longer continue in the cycle and hear the lies and deal with the broken promis...
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Courtney
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9
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616
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guilt about divorce
(Preview)
UGH--last night my AH and I met with a lawyer--trying to move forward amicably which is a relief (as long as he doesn't suddenly go back on his word or change his mind). My AH cried and was really upset...I have been focusing SO much on how he is cleaning me out financially (I'm the one who makes literally A...
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sookie
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11
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874
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Help and Advice Needed
(Preview)
Hey all, lately I have gotten calls from family members on wanting to know how to stop or how to manage their loved one's disease or how to "take care" of a loved one that is coming from recovery treatment. Usually I can suggest going to a meeting or two with me, or refer to them to this board. My A...
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Flower49
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1
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385
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You know when ..
(Preview)
You know when you think ok .. this is ok it's going to get better and everything is fine. Apparently I have some lessons to learn in that area because Verna's post about not being mad got me thinking .. LOL .. Ohhh I'm angry today. It's ok because it's going to pass, .. I kind of think I'm more afraid than I a...
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SerenityRUS
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14
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707
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Rant. Should really stop the habit of helping/rescuing people.
(Preview)
So I have this neighbour who used to be my client. She is a bit helpless and I am used to help her a lot with pretty much every aspect of her life, however she is seldom "there" for me, lets me down a lot...that is fine. She is a lovely person and I like her a lot, I know she is disorganised and all over...
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Luiza
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7
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713
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Don't should on me... my rant!
(Preview)
I am unsure why this bothers me and I know to take what I like and leave the rest. I am trying to go back and read and catch up, I am seeing lots of advice giving and shoulding on people. I am pretty sure I have learned a lot in my years of al-anon and a big lesson was if I had it all figured out I wouldn't be here in th...
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Breakingfree
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12
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895
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If you could...
(Preview)
If you could recommend only 1 book... which would it be?
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deramam
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12
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717
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back on the recovery wagon.
(Preview)
well. Its been a mental weekend. Complete with a messy house which I hate and find so much harder to clean with an emotional hangover. Today I have finally worked out the est time conversion for online meetings,now that I have replaced my phone. The old one died after I threw it at the ground because my co...
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aquamom23
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8
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662
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"Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackle all my probelms at once."
(Preview)
Hi all I had a terrible morning of self doubt and worry about where my life and marriage would go, but after reading this "Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackle all my problems at once." I realise that I had fallen into a deep dark hole, it can often happen so quickly t...
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Sean_82
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8
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636
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right or wrong?
(Preview)
My exah has had a bad accident and is basically disabled and housebound for the next few months. So, my kids have actually made me very proud,they have been taking turns in looking after him. Anyway, I decided to phone him and tell him im thinking of him and if I can help to phone me. My kids have been gettin...
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el-cee
|
32
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980
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Brand new to it all...
(Preview)
My fiance has a drinking problem. He will admit it but thats as far as he will go. He says he wants help, but he says he has it under control. I love him very much. We have been together for a year and a half, and plan to marry next spring. I just dont know how to feel, what to say or do. He has lost jobs and hides it w...
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shellbell77
|
3
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368
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How do I Leave Him?
(Preview)
I have been married to my AH husband for almost 20 years. I have known for a long time that it will not work...I can't fix him. And he doesn't want to fix himself. Of course the problem that is killing me is "How do I leave this man I love so much?". I have been protecting him. And all that seems to ha...
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kris4242
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23
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821
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I guess I just want attenion...
(Preview)
I am struggling today w/ the fact that I just want attention. Sometimes I feel like a spoiled brat that doesn't get her way. I am old enough now that I shouldn't suffer from this malady or make others suffer either. So, I beg for extra attention on here to. I want you all to listen to be & make me feel bett...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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568
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Dwi... Please some good thoughts!((
(Preview)
Got a phone call from jail last night from my husband asking to get him. He was asking me to go get him and he was acting mad at me. I actually went there with a baby at 1am (didn't want to do it the next say and miss job). But the officer told me that his bond amount wasn't released and I couldn't take him yet, so I...
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Venera
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14
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3795
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