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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> The good, the bad and the gaaaaah.
Post Info TOPIC: The good, the bad and the gaaaaah.
missmeliss


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RE: The good, the bad and the gaaaaah.
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You've said that before Temple, that you guys are awake when I'm sleeping (when I was alone and freaked out) and it's quite a nice comforting thought you know !! I like it.

I took a very, very long walk on the beach today until it was sunset and then it was dark, it was great. I took a heap of pictures and loved being alive and thought up a stack of new options to try. I felt great.
Then I dropped my phone in the water and it doesn't take pictures anymore because the lens got filled with sand and moisture. Although it still sort of works in a filled with moisture malfunctiony sort of way.

lol.
It was a crappy phone anyway. And the stupid thing is I have a waterproof camera which I bought specifically for taking pictures on the beach but I forgot to take it with me. Clever!!!
Whatever, it's just stuff.

I'm good, back on the horse and all that. I hadn't really ever experienced "happy" before the past 6 months or so, there were just varying degrees of fear for as far back as I can remember. I'm often happy now and it's not contingent on anyone else at all. It's just within me. it's new and its precious to me and I don't want to deliberately insert myself into a horrible situation if I can do anything at all to help it. I like my life and i would like to continue liking my life as much as possible.It doesn't have to be perfect, it's just frustrating to have so many obstacles keep leaping up in front of me lately. I don't spend much time dwelling on it anyway, but I'm preferring to examine yukky feelings than ignore them and let them fester these days. Most of them are garbage but I don't know that until I look at them. I've had to pack up and move and go through this business of not knowing where to go 5 times now since my daughter was born 11 years ago. It feels like "here we go again" and yeah, I am really over going through this, especially now when i feel like I was just getting my sea legs and starting to learn how to be good at life. But you know, its a done deal now so, I can be pissy all i want, it's still happening.

10711068_739266116156099_7062055375472248889_n_zps870ed874.jpg


I like that one.

And here's the last picture my phone took before it leapt to it's watery grave...

IMG_20140927_184612_zpsbe14db64.jpg

 

I love those colors, I love it when the sun sets at low tide. It's just magic. Makes my heart happy

 

 



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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Temple


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Suicidal cell phone. That's a new one.

I love the picture and the colors remind me of Paula's paintings. I'm so happy for you that you are going to get to own a print. Is that Husky boy? Do you know somebody or bodies that you would absolutely trust to keep him and Michael Douglas for you until you can get a place where you could have them? (If there's a place that you could get without pets?)

Blessings,Temple

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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread.  --Gray Charles

 
grateful2be


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Love the "can do" attitude, the poetry, and the sunset at the beach, Melly of ours. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
missmeliss


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Worst case scenario will be go to mothers, negotiate pets, at worst they go to my aunts until I find a pet friendly home to live in. There''s no question of giving them away because it isn't necessary, and they are family. It's not a desirable option and would suck on so many levels but if I haven't found anywhere by next weekend then that will be the plan. I will be motivated to get out of there and back to here or somewhere near here fast, anyway.
But I will find somewhere, I have had a bunch of new ideas today, a couple of nearbye towns I hadn't even thought of until a lady in a shop told me they have heaps of rentals and super cheap because no-one wants to live there (they are sort of ghost towns). I don't care, suits me, any port in a storm. I looked them up anyway and lo and behold, she was right. So now I need to find a way to pay A's missing rent so our record looks better and then start applying for places until I get one. One place is only $200 a week, on the beach (lol, it's like catnip to me) and pet friendy and it's all done in my fave colors inside too. Tomorrow I will be brave and drive there and have a peek in the windows etc. (Its sunday, real estate agent will be shut). But there's lots of them anyway. Surprised I hadn't thought of it before.
It's only a 25 minute drive or so back to here, I might do more than that just living in the suburbs and driving to town each day so, big deal. All highway driving though so actually a lot of distance, big $$ in petrol.
Fingers crossed anyway, I feel a lot better after writing out my woes, having a good sleep and a good long walk this afternoon too.
It'll be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end. As my mother reminds me constantly lol.


__________________

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
missmeliss


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I'll share a couple more since it was my phone's swan-song, lol. It was only cheap but it always captured the light and colors better than my expensive camera. I'll miss it.

 

IMG_20140927_182052_zps4578bafd.jpg

Yes, he's chasing the sea-gull. It's his favorite past-time. The gulls love it too, they circle around again and again and swoop him to get his attention. I've watched dogs and birds play together so many times and it amazes me; there's this whole level to their intelligence that we have no idea about. Birds are way smarter than dogs and for some reason love to tease them. I love it, I could watch it all day.

IMG_20140927_184523_zpsde3ee7a2.jpg

 

IMG_20140927_184446_zps5ee1e308.jpg

 

 

 

 



__________________

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
el-cee


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Glad to hear your plan b mel, was getting pretty worried there. Gorgeous photos too thank you for them.x

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grateful2be


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Gorgeous - especially the green, blue and rose colored sky. Your dog appears to be a wolf to me. Powerful animals. Glad some new options have opened up for you. Happy sleep.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
missmeliss


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Huskies are more or less domesticated wolves as I understand. I have a thing for wolves so he is a good match for me.
He is very precious to me. I had a pit-bull that i loved dearly many years ago and had to have her put down at 2 years old in the same month my cat was killed by a car. I resisted having animals for more than 20 years because i didn't ever want to deal with those feelings again; I was actually adamant that I would never have a pet again, ever. The grief was just so overwhelming. My daughter talked me into a cat and then a dog a couple of years ago. I'm not in a hurry to abandon them, believe me.
Thanks el-cee, I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and scared myself, I guess I had to re-adjust my thinking. Usually problems like this have fairly easy solutions but this time around it's really, really hard and maybe that's a good thing because I am being forced to think very, very hard about my priorities.


__________________

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
missmeliss


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Lol the town I am looking at is called St Leonards, so I looked up St Leonard and apparently his claim to fame was that he freed prisoners from bondage, he could look at them and "the chains fell from their arms".
I like it. Being all into symbolism and all, as I am.

__________________

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
grateful2be


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smile



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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> The good, the bad and the gaaaaah.