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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> How to help ourselves...
Post Info TOPIC: How to help ourselves...
Jerry F


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How to help ourselves...
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Needed to come read and share a bit.  Trying to do any kind of sane work within my messy head is like "___________" fill in your own ESH.  It all applies.  I got a call last evening from a "miracle" in recovery who I hadn't heard from for months yet had just minutes before thought of.  He made a "can you help" call out of the blue and it wasn't for him and someone else; a newbie with 32 days clean and sober who had lately had a last (maybe final) escape from the chemicals.  HP is telling me some thing because this man's name is the same as my eldest son's who went back out and remains back out as far as I know right now.  We haven't had communications as a family unit and I know everyone is paying attention.   Also several of the last newbies in recovery I have chanced to meet have the same name.  HP is messaging telling me to "watch". Anyway....We hit it right off because of the similarities of the disease and and our experiences and  when we got to the meeting I turned him over to the fellowship cause I've learned the group can do much much more than I can which is true after listening to his reaction and responses after the meeting, which was on the gift of working with others, getting out of self.  The consequences of working with others is huge and a handful of the fellowship (AA) from 39 years to 10 months shared their ESH with the hope of passing it on along with the welcome back.  The first 9 years of my recovery this is exactly what the Al-Anon Family Groups did until they turned me over to AA so that I could learn more cause I needed to learn more.  I have a physical life today because of that for which I am often grateful.

My early sponsorship taught me "If you want to know if this program works...give it away to someone else and watch them work it".  This morning was another practice of that suggestion and now I get to watch...without expectation to what come out of the meeting of the wills...HP's and the newbie.  As we say in the AFG..."it works when you work it".   Thanks for supporting me.   (((((hugs))))) smile



-- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 28th of September 2014 04:44:34 PM

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grateful2be


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There are times when I meet people with the same name or appearance as my son or my sibs. I've chosen to see those times as opportunities to pray for my loved ones and to do for the person if present to me what I want to do for or with my loved ones that I can't do. Sounds like you do some of the same? I love that you see that this isn't a me or I program, too. There are so many different folks with different areas of expertise and experiences who together walk the walk. I love that you are part of the fellowship affected by alcoholism that can be there for others in ways that some of us cannot be and can allow others to be there when you cannot be. Glad to see you up and about, Jerry.



-- Edited by grateful2be on Sunday 28th of September 2014 04:51:58 PM



-- Edited by grateful2be on Sunday 28th of September 2014 05:45:38 PM

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DavidG


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... Kia miharo eJerry... its a family illness, sure enough...

spent the weekend mostly relaxing; but did something similar, across 12 step programmes, and across nations...

...I don't post here much at all now. My sponsor, some time ago, left Alanon for good. And that was her choice and that is working for her. I decided that I wanted to be a lifetime member. Period.

I have moved onto another 12 Step Programme and follow what the AA BB says- ~half measures avail us nothing~. I used this Alanon meeting here,  on this board as my springboard for this... and in a sense this group became my temporary sponsor.

I did get to meet one of the hotumanawa's [livewires] on this board in person- which was much much more than a treat! It was awesome!

So this is where I am at... it is a family proramme and we are all family... whanau.

aroha~nui,

-Da.



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Gaby


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Jerry F.. I had a mother reach out to me 1 week ago today to try to help her adult addict daughter. I am not an addict. But I am a mother of an addict and I know I could not help him, but I did all I could to help my son. I had to move out of gods way for my son to get help, but with this all said. I know the pain this mother is feeling. I knew nothing of this adult addict, but I was going to pray on it and use the same sources to guide her to get help. She calls me today and got into a recovery program. She was so grateful. I pray she works her program and stays on her journey of recovery.. She thanked me for not giving up on her, but I give all the glory to God.. I just needed to share this.. I too was desperate for any one to help me to help my son, but I had to get help for myself first.. And I thank everyone that was there for me and helped me realize my sons life was his own journey. And now I share the same to this mom.. Have a great day :))

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Gaby 
PP


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Hugs to all of you for doing what we now identify in the mainstream as  " paying it forward " and knowing we are all one.  Thank you for this reminder today.



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Paula
hotrod


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Hi Jerry, so nice to read your message and to see you back posting once again. HP does work in mysterious ways and I know when I bump into people in program with the same name as my sons, it causes me to pause , sometimes a warm sweet memory comes and other times the if onlys surface.

I do know that I cannot keep this program unless I give it away , and I'm very grateful for the support and tools that I have been given.

We are all family and it certainly was a pleasure meeting you David when you came to New York City.

Prayers and positive energy being held for you Jerry and your family

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

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Debilyn


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I don't know why but I need to ask you, "are you ok?" You may seem like you have it all together, yes you do, but.... You give so  much to all of us here at mip, I sure hope you know you can vent here too.

Just checking in with you grampa jer, love,debilyn



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tiredtonite


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Thanks so much Jerry for the wonderful 12th step reminder.  For me, there's no better program tool for getting out of my own head than doing service in this program and also out in the community. Working the program by action brings so many special gifts - enlightenment, serenity, new friendships and feeling the presence of my higher power again in my life after an absence of that feeling.  We're told "The only way out is through" when we talk about working the 12 steps. Thanks for sharing your recovery here with us. You and your family continue in my prayers.  ((hugs))  TT



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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Jerry F


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Deb thanks for the poke...My condition is marginal and HP and the fellowship is taking up the slack, keeping me in my own dinghy distracting me from the waves just outside the rail.  I'm not alone in the dinghy.  There are others with me some truly asking for help and wanting to keep the sea sickness away.  Others are doing great keeping themselves from being seriously ill and helping others also and then some are "stuck" with "blinders" on thinking they can outlast the disease of that it isn't as bad as others might seem and then for me  there are the "others" who I must stay on top of my program  for who have and bring an entirely different form of insanity with them.  HP's been handed that part while I keep ready to do mine.  I've dealt with several different forms of 'isms" in my days and often the "break" I need comes from within helping others.   "This too will pass...Now would be good"  from another Al-Anon friend a couple years ago.    (((hugs))) smile



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bud


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Glad to see your post Jerry. I'm so grateful for our wonderful supportive family and for a good reminder to keep plugged into all of the steps. (((hugs)))

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