Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I've learned to deal with chronic pain pretty good for the most part. I do believe that attitude plays a huge part in how I feel physically :) I've been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, and do see a pain management specialist for steroid injections, which definitely help. I don't do any presc...

debilyn · debilyn

I read some of your other posts.I misunderstood.Those are your moms other kids? your sis and bros? I was thinking they were your kids. I am confused. love,debilyn

silverbrumby · silverbrumby

Sharing tonight on what it's like after my husband has been gone for 2 months. (I kicked him out) Have allowed him to come over for visits and have had lots of talks when he is sober. But they don't achieve anything... He continues to tell me that he loves me and will wait till I come to my senses!!! Another a...

JenniferN · JenniferN

This video was shown to me by my hunny. It's on his boss's myspace page. I was so moved by it, I put it on mine and wanted to share it with you all here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. blessings Jennifer

Jen · Jen

A newcomer at our meeting last night asked everyone to share "how you all respect yourself?" So I got to thinking about it some more today. Some of the things that came up were: eating right, exercising, asking myself what do I feel and what do I need, making meetings a priority, learning to s...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, Got the call with the info I was somewhat expecting; I just didn't know how it would be delivered. It was my AH, to tell me, in a nutshell, that the divorce needs to be off for now. Even though it is probably what we need to do, he needs to try and save our business so he just doesn't have the time or m...

glad · glad

My oldest daughter told me recently (she's 23) and beautiful I may add (bragging I know ) MOM I'm not gonna know to love myself like you loved me, I'm gonna love myself like I saw you love yourself! Made me wish I would have taken better care of myself, explored my interest and made more good friends when...

maresie · maresie

I am currently working the steps with the aide of a sponsor. One thing that leapt out off the page for me today in reviewing the steps is how I wait for happiness. I don't know what it is but I fear having happiness in the present moment. I do have some, thankfully largely in the shape of my pets who bring me...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I've made it through today. Came very close to having a job tomorrow through a temp agency. Who knows, perhaps if I call early enough in the morning, I may get something. We'll see. I've talked to him today a couple of times. And I've talked to my HP ALOT. I started reading "As We Understood". I...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Thank you. Your responses have been of great help and tell me over and over why I am here. I am here because I have gone through the bad times of living with an alcoholic and through the good times that produced wonderful memories. These memories are what have kept me hoping, and moving forward and when th...

Searching4Answers · Searching4Answers

I just discovered this forum. My husband is an alcoholic. Lately, it's been getting worse as far as his moods go when he is drinking. He has started to get very verbally angry with me, yelling at me and blaming me for everything that is wrong. How do you begin to leave a relationship and put some distan...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))), Could someone please post or pm with the Alanon traditions. I am very familiar with the Steps, but know very little (if anything) about the Traditions. Thanks so much. Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I took my daughter to a show at the House of Blues this weekend. It was her first concert and it was really great, very wild but fun anyway. For me it was somewhat of an eye opener. I saw a guy sitting with a kid that appeared to be younger than my daughter so I asked if we could join them. We were late gettin...

serendipity · serendipity

I am hurting. It has been a difficult weekend. For some reason, Gracie's death was haunting me and I was thinking about the ex. More than thinking, more like feeling like a shoe was about to drop kick me in the head out of nowhere. And sure enough.....I went to church and the whole freekin sermon was about...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel so grateful these days even though my life is still kinda crazy! I am tired too. My mom is on her way to her vacation for two weeks! I am glad she is getting time away & maybe this time I will miss her. I struggle a lot with my relationship with her but I do love her very much. My gratitude stems f...

glad · glad

Okay this is a share and a direct question - so those that feel they really are familiar with the Alanon "way" please direct me. I am tired of the "trash" ways in our life. Meaning beer cans everywhere, boyfriend's job is with all (dirty) blue collar workers and boss (as recent pos...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

((((Family)))) Today was my Mother in Laws birthday. The entire family gathered at her house. As we were driving up my AH made a comment that his alcoholic nephew was there. Many of you may remember the big blowup the 2 of them had a few months ago. It resulted in the police being called to his nephews hous...

Jen · Jen

I started to post this in response to Lou, but decided to just put it here. My AH is doing really well right now, and I still get really sad sometimes cause I wonder if its too late for me. I really do love him, but it seems the love is just buried so far down in the mess that I have a hard time seeing it anymore. It...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((((Family)))))))), To my Irish Alanonuts out there, just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! I know this is usually a day where people use the day to drink extra. But let's celebrate the Irish heritage and enjoy the day for what it is. I am not Irish (Rusian-Fili...

JenniferN · JenniferN

He and I talked when he got up and we REALLY need to make sure we communicate!! I did move out. However, we are not broken up. I had a misunderstanding in thinking that he wanted me completely gone from his life. NO! He doesn't even really want me gone from the house, but I told him that this is what we both nee...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Some time ago, ddub posted about Stress, and I found I could relate to every word she wrote. I have lived for the last thirty-three years with Chronic Stress and as a result in 2005 I ended up having a Nervous Breakdown. My doctor tells me that I have Reactive Depression not Clinical Depression, which fo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

As most of you know I have 3 kids and for those of us who are parents of more than one we know that each child has their own personality and we relate differently to each. So here's my dilemma and I know this is horrible but it's true. I am having a really hard time finding the good in my middle child. This is t...

MIDGET · MIDGET

So I talked w my ex A tonite.He actually thinks hes going to be able to "go away and get himself straight" and come back to me !!!! Like Im a couch or something !!(those of you who have been keeping up w me , understand the couch pun !!) Can you believe that ?? I guess after paying for and going thru...

JenniferN · JenniferN

98% of my things are packed and I'll be moving back in with my mother today. It's not because of "her". It's because part of him wants to know what it would be like to be alone. He's never lived alone and he's 37 y/o. He's said this to me about a week ago; he's tired of taking care of other people, pa...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

so...I had a thought...I know HP loves me, looks out for me and gives me what I need when I need it. So......why then is it so much easier to focus on what my parents did to me or didn't do for me then it is to focus on how I know God is always with me and gives me what I need. Any thoughts?

JenniferN · JenniferN

I was just going through the caller ID and noticed he deleted her number. WHY? am I being paranoid? am I letting my hormones get the better of me? or is it the unmistakeable gut feeling that something is wrong here? I called my sponsor, no answer. I don't know what to do. I have this urge to call her and find o...

DeadOrAlive · DeadOrAlive

My sixteen year old came home drunk this am. He was sleeping over at a friends' house (supposidly). And I heard my AH yelling at him and part of his words were "you betrayed my trust". Hah some kind of bitter satisfaction as I have used those words against him and he has twisted them back at m...

glad · glad

Friday, BF got some bad news, he reacted like he always does and "made sad puppy dog eyes" saying he would deal with it but of course remaining so "sad and down". I of course reacted to his feelings and wanted to "fix" (control) the situation. Gosh I'm still learnin...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have gone from saying way too much, to almost being speechless when I am around my sober husband. He is finally opening his eyes to the wreck our life has become. Long story not as long, he sat me down today and asked about how I was doing financially. Basically, I told him I was working all I could and ga...

DeadOrAlive · DeadOrAlive

Sadly I have been in the grip of the obsessive search for "evidence" for about a month (ouch!). And really, why? It was 2 weeks ago that my AH again fell prey to his demons. Supposidly a bottom. yeah. I hate this, and haven't done it for years but it is back with a vengence. Honestly I am try...

debilyn · debilyn

When high stress hits me, helping my very loved old dogs in their death, sobbing because I just lost my old man potted pig Walter yesterday, something is horribly heavy but I have to do it. When I ran out to help tucker, there was Walter dieing.He is over 100 pounds.I prayed to Jehovah,please help me, I pi...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Tugg brought up this great question which has been rising from many spots laterly, Carolina Girl, etc. How do we love those that are hard to love? We can choose not to love them or we can choose to love them anyway. Maybe its also about how do you practice unconditional love and acceptance or is it even pos...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I really am trying to work this program. I'm trying to detach and not "fix" him this weekend. And so far, I'm doing pretty good, despite the PMS and the uncontrollable urge I've had for the past 45 mins. to scream my head off about the recent phone call from "HER". He's been "d...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

For some time now I have been wrestling with silence. I have been afraid of silence, I have been disappointed by silence, I have thought that I was utterly forgotten and I was not prepared to sit, wait and listen through the silence any longer, for I wanted answers and I wanted them after the count of thr...

MIDGET · MIDGET

So I evicted my AH and filed for a divorce.He was full blown,lost his job,laying around drinking all day.Got so drunk he peed on himself while laying on the couch (yuk !!).So he cashes in his stocks and goes to Fl to help his dying Brother. He recieved the divorce papers,and he said he wont fight me on any...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am a little drained but am hanging in there! Yesterday I went to one of our larger towns that is 60 miles away and my AH was kinda impatient. I needed a pair of black shoes and he got a little frustrated! We walked through the mall to get the shoes. Anyway, he hates when I get shoes, go figure? He figured tha...

getoverit · getoverit

bro in law needs prayers re open heart by pass surg t u n love n namaste getoverit

cookie1971 · cookie1971

((((Family)))) I tried to post a new thread after the"meeting" on Wed. nite, but I was quite ill both Wed nite and Thurs. so I never got a chance to finish it. When I got home from work on Wed. my AH was in a foul mood. I determined that I was not going to mention the meeting, and that if he still wa...

Christy · Christy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Tea!!!!! [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=yj6cbM-h8xg]

debilyn · debilyn

I finally made steps and am taking care of stressors. Had to put my two very old dogs down a few days ago. Tedirug and Herbert Hudson are no longer in pain and constantly starting fights. I have not slept all night for almost a year. Had to let them out allll the time,plus they woke me up grumbling. So I hav...

Aloha · Aloha

Ugh. Feeling down right now. Just when I finished my last post here, my AH calls me on my work line. First thing out of his mouth is "I've been trying to call you on your cell but you're not answering!" Sometimes my phone just gets into a dead spot and it won't ring. Sometimes I just don't hea...

search41 · search41

i havent been here in quite some time, but when i clicked on the chat room, it wont load for me. i get the little white square with the red x on the top left corner. does anyone know why that might be happening? obviously, the message board opens for me, but the chat room wont.... thanks in advance! searc...

glad · glad

"To forgive the unrepentant is like drawing pictures in a pond" (thanks Jennifer) He is sick, the reason I put up with it, danced a dance to try to fix it, turned myself inside out worrying about it, embarrassed myself over and over begging for it to be different was/ is because I "caug...

serendipity · serendipity

I am posting this mainly to document it. The 2 younger ones and I were at dinner. On the placemat were questions to start discussions. What would you do if you were president, if you had 3 wishes, if you could have a wild animal, etc. The last one was if you could go back in time where would you go and why. My l...

Codependent · Codependent

I feel like I should apologize at the beginning of my posts now because so much of it feels like I am "dumping" on you all. Yet, I need to be able to tell you all the truth of what is going on in my life. So with that in mind, The A did get 50 days in lock down. Some guy in jail called to tell me this with...

nmike · nmike

Listening to the Osmonds Reunion concert. Marie and Donny are singing "It takes two". I miss my AHsober. We went skiing together - his idea. He said it will be fun. It was. Just like old times. Then we went south to golf and warm up after this wicked winter. My idea. I said it will be fun. It was. N...

david62 · david62

(((Family))) I came on here to post about the topic of forgiveness and lo and behold I see Glad's post "to forgive the unrepentent" . Forgiveness was the topic of my ftf meeting last nite. We read pages 86 and 87 in "How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics". An...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I was pretty upset this morning when I came on here. I didn't want to post about what had happened, and I'm still not going to, because it's quite personal. So, I started reading. And I started with glad's post. That got me to thinking in a different direction and I posted my reply and with doing that, with...

optimistundone · optimistundone

I filed for divorce a month ago after months of agonizing and therapy, and years of making excuses. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done. I hate the fact that it has been difficult on my daughter. Yes, I have to carefully watch every penny. Yes, I have to lean on others. My XH is not happy with...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! This is a must share for me so that I can relieve the awareness pressure from my spirit that the disease has brought. My wife and I attended a wake and viewing this morning for a young (40) man who died as a result of cancer. They were friends from my wife's work place who had moved to Nev 7 yea...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I actually went to a meeting without my mom on Tuesday! I feel so great about it because I rarely go to meetings without her because of the fact that there are very few meetings in our town and she feels she needs to go to all of them so where does that leave me? Anyway, I went to a huge Alanon meeting 60 miles a...

Maria123 · Maria123

I just had to share this with y'all. This Mom just had to be an Alanoner laughter in recovery, Maria HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNERYou don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one..Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beauti...

glad · glad

My wanting to "help" my "A" ( by nagging, begging, "explaining" (loudly) healthy thinking) has been totally selfish. My way to try to excape my own "double bind" I put myself in, which is: I don't want to be in an unhealthy relationship, but I do want to be w...

qhgirl · qhgirl

I am new to alanon although not new to alcoholism. My boyfriend is an alcoholic. Last weekend he was given a DUI and spent the night in jail. MUCH to his credit he has not drank since. He is really trying to stop drinking. He has been to two AA meetings and has an appointment with his therapist on Thursday. I...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Had a pretty rough start this morning...I asked him last night to make sure I was up this morning when he got home from work (7a.m.)...he did(n't)... he said ONE thing to me this morning to wake me up...and that doesn't work...I was pretty upset when I finally woke up 40 minutes later. I told him that I was...

Aloha · Aloha

I had a testing moment this evening when I got home from work. My AH was out on the driveway washing his bike and his moped. I went inside for a bit, and then came across something that needed to be put in the garage, so I went to the garage to put that something away and noticed one of our good bath towels han...

omajoy · omajoy

This morning I wrote about being angry and had every intention of having a successful day of even temperament. It is twelve hours later. My heart is breaking in half and I don't know if I am angry or just what I am feeling. Grandbaby and son here this afternoon. Marigolds planted. Lots of love and hugs an...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Just wanted to say thanks to ya'll for the ESH and to let ya'll know that I did apologize to him when I got home. I thought about it more after my post and realized it wasn't really that important to be/stay upset over. So, I amitted I was wrong, apologized, and moved on! (oh and I'll be using the alarm on my ce...

grizmom · grizmom

I am married to an alcoholic who is presently in an intensive rehab provided by the Department of Corrections - a special program for DUI felonly offenders. He is due to be released soon, coming home to family and job, under the watch of probation. He recently asked what he could do to make our marriage...

glad · glad

Well I have discovered over the last few days I may want to do some things just because I want to. I just realized that in the (recent) past I have had some really weird thoughts in my head. Examples: I'll clean the house really good today, maybe light some candles (my boyfriend will like it when he c...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Could use some positive vibes today. (Preview) I've learned to deal with chronic pain pretty good for the most part. I do believe that attitude plays a huge part in how I feel physically :) I've been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, and do see a pain management specialist for steroid injections, which definitely help. I don't do any presc...	Tenderheartsks	5	532	Mar 20, 2008 by Heartbroken
	JenniferN oops!! (Preview) I read some of your other posts.I misunderstood.Those are your moms other kids? your sis and bros? I was thinking they were your kids. I am confused. love,debilyn	debilyn	1	265	Mar 19, 2008 by JenniferN
	Talking doesn't achieve anything with an A! (Preview) Sharing tonight on what it's like after my husband has been gone for 2 months. (I kicked him out) Have allowed him to come over for visits and have had lots of talks when he is sober. But they don't achieve anything... He continues to tell me that he loves me and will wait till I come to my senses!!! Another a...	silverbrumby	7	624	Mar 19, 2008 by debilyn
	A Video for Everyone (Preview) This video was shown to me by my hunny. It's on his boss's myspace page. I was so moved by it, I put it on mine and wanted to share it with you all here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. blessings Jennifer	JenniferN	1	251	Mar 19, 2008 by debilyn
	Respecting Self (Preview) A newcomer at our meeting last night asked everyone to share "how you all respect yourself?" So I got to thinking about it some more today. Some of the things that came up were: eating right, exercising, asking myself what do I feel and what do I need, making meetings a priority, learning to s...	Jen	11	408	Mar 19, 2008 by maresie
	speechless.....again! (Preview) Hi Friends, Got the call with the info I was somewhat expecting; I just didn't know how it would be delivered. It was my AH, to tell me, in a nutshell, that the divorce needs to be off for now. Even though it is probably what we need to do, he needs to try and save our business so he just doesn't have the time or m...	Loupiness	5	320	Mar 19, 2008 by serendipity
	Kids-who knew??? (Preview) My oldest daughter told me recently (she's 23) and beautiful I may add (bragging I know ) MOM I'm not gonna know to love myself like you loved me, I'm gonna love myself like I saw you love yourself! Made me wish I would have taken better care of myself, explored my interest and made more good friends when...	glad	6	370	Mar 19, 2008 by Jen
	Waiting for Happiness (Preview) I am currently working the steps with the aide of a sponsor. One thing that leapt out off the page for me today in reviewing the steps is how I wait for happiness. I don't know what it is but I fear having happiness in the present moment. I do have some, thankfully largely in the shape of my pets who bring me...	maresie	4	313	Mar 19, 2008 by java
	One Day at A Time (Preview) I've made it through today. Came very close to having a job tomorrow through a temp agency. Who knows, perhaps if I call early enough in the morning, I may get something. We'll see. I've talked to him today a couple of times. And I've talked to my HP ALOT. I started reading "As We Understood". I...	JenniferN	1	389	Mar 19, 2008 by java
	Staying in the light...and fighting again Chronic Apathy (Preview) Thank you. Your responses have been of great help and tell me over and over why I am here. I am here because I have gone through the bad times of living with an alcoholic and through the good times that produced wonderful memories. These memories are what have kept me hoping, and moving forward and when th...	Heartbroken	6	728	Mar 19, 2008 by carosie
	New and Need Some Advice (Preview) I just discovered this forum. My husband is an alcoholic. Lately, it's been getting worse as far as his moods go when he is drinking. He has started to get very verbally angry with me, yelling at me and blaming me for everything that is wrong. How do you begin to leave a relationship and put some distan...	Searching4Answers	11	466	Mar 19, 2008 by Searching4Answers
	Traditions (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))), Could someone please post or pm with the Alanon traditions. I am very familiar with the Steps, but know very little (if anything) about the Traditions. Thanks so much. Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty	Karilynn	5	386	Mar 19, 2008 by Karilynn
	An awakening of sorts. (Preview) I took my daughter to a show at the House of Blues this weekend. It was her first concert and it was really great, very wild but fun anyway. For me it was somewhat of an eye opener. I saw a guy sitting with a kid that appeared to be younger than my daughter so I asked if we could join them. We were late gettin...	carolinagirl	8	410	Mar 19, 2008 by maire rua
	I need some hugs (Preview) I am hurting. It has been a difficult weekend. For some reason, Gracie's death was haunting me and I was thinking about the ex. More than thinking, more like feeling like a shoe was about to drop kick me in the head out of nowhere. And sure enough.....I went to church and the whole freekin sermon was about...	serendipity	22	560	Mar 18, 2008 by cookie1971
	Gratitude! (Preview) I feel so grateful these days even though my life is still kinda crazy! I am tired too. My mom is on her way to her vacation for two weeks! I am glad she is getting time away & maybe this time I will miss her. I struggle a lot with my relationship with her but I do love her very much. My gratitude stems f...	Hoot Nanny	1	387	Mar 18, 2008 by Aloha
	"trash" and alanon way? (Preview) Okay this is a share and a direct question - so those that feel they really are familiar with the Alanon "way" please direct me. I am tired of the "trash" ways in our life. Meaning beer cans everywhere, boyfriend's job is with all (dirty) blue collar workers and boss (as recent pos...	glad	9	425	Mar 18, 2008 by Aloha
	BIRTHDAY PARTY (Preview) ((((Family)))) Today was my Mother in Laws birthday. The entire family gathered at her house. As we were driving up my AH made a comment that his alcoholic nephew was there. Many of you may remember the big blowup the 2 of them had a few months ago. It resulted in the police being called to his nephews hous...	cookie1971	9	345	Mar 18, 2008 by maresie
	Is it too late? (Preview) I started to post this in response to Lou, but decided to just put it here. My AH is doing really well right now, and I still get really sad sometimes cause I wonder if its too late for me. I really do love him, but it seems the love is just buried so far down in the mess that I have a hard time seeing it anymore. It...	Jen	7	471	Mar 18, 2008 by Jen
	HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! (Preview) ((((((((((((Family)))))))), To my Irish Alanonuts out there, just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! I know this is usually a day where people use the day to drink extra. But let's celebrate the Irish heritage and enjoy the day for what it is. I am not Irish (Rusian-Fili...	Karilynn	3	252	Mar 18, 2008 by maresie
	trying to stay positive (Preview) He and I talked when he got up and we REALLY need to make sure we communicate!! I did move out. However, we are not broken up. I had a misunderstanding in thinking that he wanted me completely gone from his life. NO! He doesn't even really want me gone from the house, but I told him that this is what we both nee...	JenniferN	2	266	Mar 18, 2008 by maresie
	Chronic Apathy (Preview) Some time ago, ddub posted about Stress, and I found I could relate to every word she wrote. I have lived for the last thirty-three years with Chronic Stress and as a result in 2005 I ended up having a Nervous Breakdown. My doctor tells me that I have Reactive Depression not Clinical Depression, which fo...	Heartbroken	11	2324	Mar 18, 2008 by Diva
	I know this is going to sound horrible. (Preview) As most of you know I have 3 kids and for those of us who are parents of more than one we know that each child has their own personality and we relate differently to each. So here's my dilemma and I know this is horrible but it's true. I am having a really hard time finding the good in my middle child. This is t...	carolinagirl	15	648	Mar 18, 2008 by Peggy7
	WHAT ? (Preview) So I talked w my ex A tonite.He actually thinks hes going to be able to "go away and get himself straight" and come back to me !!!! Like Im a couch or something !!(those of you who have been keeping up w me , understand the couch pun !!) Can you believe that ?? I guess after paying for and going thru...	MIDGET	4	457	Mar 17, 2008 by Tuggboat
	It's done (Preview) 98% of my things are packed and I'll be moving back in with my mother today. It's not because of "her". It's because part of him wants to know what it would be like to be alone. He's never lived alone and he's 37 y/o. He's said this to me about a week ago; he's tired of taking care of other people, pa...	JenniferN	7	434	Mar 17, 2008 by maresie
	Making HP my parent/Thia ia WorkInProgress (Preview) so...I had a thought...I know HP loves me, looks out for me and gives me what I need when I need it. So......why then is it so much easier to focus on what my parents did to me or didn't do for me then it is to focus on how I know God is always with me and gives me what I need. Any thoughts?	seekingserenity	2	514	Mar 17, 2008 by Jerry F
	resisting an urge...... (Preview) I was just going through the caller ID and noticed he deleted her number. WHY? am I being paranoid? am I letting my hormones get the better of me? or is it the unmistakeable gut feeling that something is wrong here? I called my sponsor, no answer. I don't know what to do. I have this urge to call her and find o...	JenniferN	9	410	Mar 17, 2008 by canadianguy
	And so it comes full circle (Preview) My sixteen year old came home drunk this am. He was sleeping over at a friends' house (supposidly). And I heard my AH yelling at him and part of his words were "you betrayed my trust". Hah some kind of bitter satisfaction as I have used those words against him and he has twisted them back at m...	DeadOrAlive	7	448	Mar 17, 2008 by canadianguy
	I've blown it all weekend! (Preview) Friday, BF got some bad news, he reacted like he always does and "made sad puppy dog eyes" saying he would deal with it but of course remaining so "sad and down". I of course reacted to his feelings and wanted to "fix" (control) the situation. Gosh I'm still learnin...	glad	5	608	Mar 17, 2008 by ESH
	and the pendulum swings... (Preview) I have gone from saying way too much, to almost being speechless when I am around my sober husband. He is finally opening his eyes to the wreck our life has become. Long story not as long, he sat me down today and asked about how I was doing financially. Basically, I told him I was working all I could and ga...	Loupiness	7	317	Mar 17, 2008 by carolinagirl
	The obsessive search (Preview) Sadly I have been in the grip of the obsessive search for "evidence" for about a month (ouch!). And really, why? It was 2 weeks ago that my AH again fell prey to his demons. Supposidly a bottom. yeah. I hate this, and haven't done it for years but it is back with a vengence. Honestly I am try...	DeadOrAlive	6	399	Mar 17, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Do ya'll do this? (Preview) When high stress hits me, helping my very loved old dogs in their death, sobbing because I just lost my old man potted pig Walter yesterday, something is horribly heavy but I have to do it. When I ran out to help tucker, there was Walter dieing.He is over 100 pounds.I prayed to Jehovah,please help me, I pi...	debilyn	6	396	Mar 17, 2008 by Heartbroken
	How do we love those that are hard to love? (Preview) Tugg brought up this great question which has been rising from many spots laterly, Carolina Girl, etc. How do we love those that are hard to love? We can choose not to love them or we can choose to love them anyway. Maybe its also about how do you practice unconditional love and acceptance or is it even pos...	Jean4444	7	650	Mar 17, 2008 by Jen
	I'm trying.... (Preview) I really am trying to work this program. I'm trying to detach and not "fix" him this weekend. And so far, I'm doing pretty good, despite the PMS and the uncontrollable urge I've had for the past 45 mins. to scream my head off about the recent phone call from "HER". He's been "d...	JenniferN	1	480	Mar 16, 2008 by Jerry F
	A human being, not a human doing... (Preview) For some time now I have been wrestling with silence. I have been afraid of silence, I have been disappointed by silence, I have thought that I was utterly forgotten and I was not prepared to sit, wait and listen through the silence any longer, for I wanted answers and I wanted them after the count of thr...	Heartbroken	7	505	Mar 16, 2008 by Heartbroken
	just needing a little support (Preview) So I evicted my AH and filed for a divorce.He was full blown,lost his job,laying around drinking all day.Got so drunk he peed on himself while laying on the couch (yuk !!).So he cashes in his stocks and goes to Fl to help his dying Brother. He recieved the divorce papers,and he said he wont fight me on any...	MIDGET	11	667	Mar 16, 2008 by Tuggboat
	A little drained! (Preview) I am a little drained but am hanging in there! Yesterday I went to one of our larger towns that is 60 miles away and my AH was kinda impatient. I needed a pair of black shoes and he got a little frustrated! We walked through the mall to get the shoes. Anyway, he hates when I get shoes, go figure? He figured tha...	Hoot Nanny	3	396	Mar 15, 2008 by cookie1971
	bro in law surg prayers pls (Preview) bro in law needs prayers re open heart by pass surg t u n love n namaste getoverit	getoverit	6	440	Mar 15, 2008 by cookie1971
	UPDATE ON "THE MEETING" (Preview) ((((Family)))) I tried to post a new thread after the"meeting" on Wed. nite, but I was quite ill both Wed nite and Thurs. so I never got a chance to finish it. When I got home from work on Wed. my AH was in a foul mood. I determined that I was not going to mention the meeting, and that if he still wa...	cookie1971	6	464	Mar 15, 2008 by cookie1971
	HAPPY BIRTHDAY ................. (Preview) HAPPY BIRTHDAY Tea!!!!! [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=yj6cbM-h8xg]	Christy	9	410	Mar 15, 2008 by tea2
	Was feeling wierd (Preview) I finally made steps and am taking care of stressors. Had to put my two very old dogs down a few days ago. Tedirug and Herbert Hudson are no longer in pain and constantly starting fights. I have not slept all night for almost a year. Had to let them out allll the time,plus they woke me up grumbling. So I hav...	debilyn	7	493	Mar 15, 2008 by Tuggboat
	Why do I open my mouth sometimes... (Preview) Ugh. Feeling down right now. Just when I finished my last post here, my AH calls me on my work line. First thing out of his mouth is "I've been trying to call you on your cell but you're not answering!" Sometimes my phone just gets into a dead spot and it won't ring. Sometimes I just don't hea...	Aloha	4	434	Mar 15, 2008 by Tuggboat
	cant get in chat room (Preview) i havent been here in quite some time, but when i clicked on the chat room, it wont load for me. i get the little white square with the red x on the top left corner. does anyone know why that might be happening? obviously, the message board opens for me, but the chat room wont.... thanks in advance! searc...	search41	2	391	Mar 15, 2008 by Maria123
	To forgive the unrepentant... (Preview) "To forgive the unrepentant is like drawing pictures in a pond" (thanks Jennifer) He is sick, the reason I put up with it, danced a dance to try to fix it, turned myself inside out worrying about it, embarrassed myself over and over begging for it to be different was/ is because I "caug...	glad	5	1750	Mar 14, 2008 by Tuggboat
	on death and heaven and God (Preview) I am posting this mainly to document it. The 2 younger ones and I were at dinner. On the placemat were questions to start discussions. What would you do if you were president, if you had 3 wishes, if you could have a wild animal, etc. The last one was if you could go back in time where would you go and why. My l...	serendipity	1	541	Mar 14, 2008 by lin0606
	More of my stuff (Preview) I feel like I should apologize at the beginning of my posts now because so much of it feels like I am "dumping" on you all. Yet, I need to be able to tell you all the truth of what is going on in my life. So with that in mind, The A did get 50 days in lock down. Some guy in jail called to tell me this with...	Codependent	4	368	Mar 14, 2008 by lin0606
	It takes two.... (Preview) Listening to the Osmonds Reunion concert. Marie and Donny are singing "It takes two". I miss my AHsober. We went skiing together - his idea. He said it will be fun. It was. Just like old times. Then we went south to golf and warm up after this wicked winter. My idea. I said it will be fun. It was. N...	nmike	4	362	Mar 14, 2008 by Maria123
	There is No Justifiable Judgement (Preview) (((Family))) I came on here to post about the topic of forgiveness and lo and behold I see Glad's post "to forgive the unrepentent" . Forgiveness was the topic of my ftf meeting last nite. We read pages 86 and 87 in "How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics". An...	david62	3	769	Mar 14, 2008 by Jean4444
	Thanks glad.... (Preview) I was pretty upset this morning when I came on here. I didn't want to post about what had happened, and I'm still not going to, because it's quite personal. So, I started reading. And I started with glad's post. That got me to thinking in a different direction and I posted my reply and with doing that, with...	JenniferN	1	390	Mar 14, 2008 by Jerry F
	Yes, the grass is greener. (Preview) I filed for divorce a month ago after months of agonizing and therapy, and years of making excuses. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done. I hate the fact that it has been difficult on my daughter. Yes, I have to carefully watch every penny. Yes, I have to lean on others. My XH is not happy with...	optimistundone	5	562	Mar 14, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Cunning - Powerful - Baffling (Preview) Aloha Family!! This is a must share for me so that I can relieve the awareness pressure from my spirit that the disease has brought. My wife and I attended a wake and viewing this morning for a young (40) man who died as a result of cancer. They were friends from my wife's work place who had moved to Nev 7 yea...	Jerry F	14	500	Mar 14, 2008 by Karilynn
	Without MOM! (Preview) I actually went to a meeting without my mom on Tuesday! I feel so great about it because I rarely go to meetings without her because of the fact that there are very few meetings in our town and she feels she needs to go to all of them so where does that leave me? Anyway, I went to a huge Alanon meeting 60 miles a...	Hoot Nanny	3	417	Mar 14, 2008 by glad
	Give us this day . . . our daily Laughter (Preview) I just had to share this with y'all. This Mom just had to be an Alanoner laughter in recovery, Maria HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNERYou don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one..Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beauti...	Maria123	9	657	Mar 14, 2008 by Karilynn
	I created my own double bind! (Preview) My wanting to "help" my "A" ( by nagging, begging, "explaining" (loudly) healthy thinking) has been totally selfish. My way to try to excape my own "double bind" I put myself in, which is: I don't want to be in an unhealthy relationship, but I do want to be w...	glad	3	497	Mar 14, 2008 by debilyn
	new to alanon just wondering if anyone has info for me (Preview) I am new to alanon although not new to alcoholism. My boyfriend is an alcoholic. Last weekend he was given a DUI and spent the night in jail. MUCH to his credit he has not drank since. He is really trying to stop drinking. He has been to two AA meetings and has an appointment with his therapist on Thursday. I...	qhgirl	14	575	Mar 14, 2008 by Karilynn
	Rough Start to a Beautiful Day...so far (Preview) Had a pretty rough start this morning...I asked him last night to make sure I was up this morning when he got home from work (7a.m.)...he did(n't)... he said ONE thing to me this morning to wake me up...and that doesn't work...I was pretty upset when I finally woke up 40 minutes later. I told him that I was...	JenniferN	7	596	Mar 14, 2008 by glad
	There is no rule I must return anger with anger (Preview) I had a testing moment this evening when I got home from work. My AH was out on the driveway washing his bike and his moped. I went inside for a bit, and then came across something that needed to be put in the garage, so I went to the garage to put that something away and noticed one of our good bath towels han...	Aloha	9	497	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	Twelve hours later...failed! (Preview) This morning I wrote about being angry and had every intention of having a successful day of even temperament. It is twelve hours later. My heart is breaking in half and I don't know if I am angry or just what I am feeling. Grandbaby and son here this afternoon. Marigolds planted. Lots of love and hugs an...	omajoy	10	434	Mar 13, 2008 by maresie
	quick update (Preview) Just wanted to say thanks to ya'll for the ESH and to let ya'll know that I did apologize to him when I got home. I thought about it more after my post and realized it wasn't really that important to be/stay upset over. So, I amitted I was wrong, apologized, and moved on! (oh and I'll be using the alarm on my ce...	JenniferN	0	231	Mar 13, 2008 by JenniferN
	This is where I am at.. (Preview) I am married to an alcoholic who is presently in an intensive rehab provided by the Department of Corrections - a special program for DUI felonly offenders. He is due to be released soon, coming home to family and job, under the watch of probation. He recently asked what he could do to make our marriage...	grizmom	15	651	Mar 13, 2008 by round3
	Anybody else ever do this? (Preview) Well I have discovered over the last few days I may want to do some things just because I want to. I just realized that in the (recent) past I have had some really weird thoughts in my head. Examples: I'll clean the house really good today, maybe light some candles (my boyfriend will like it when he c...	glad	3	521	Mar 13, 2008 by lin0606
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.