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An awakening of sorts.
(Preview)
I took my daughter to a show at the House of Blues this weekend. It was her first concert and it was really great, very wild but fun anyway. For me it was somewhat of an eye opener. I saw a guy sitting with a kid that appeared to be younger than my daughter so I asked if we could join them. We were late gettin...
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carolinagirl
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8
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405
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I need some hugs
(Preview)
I am hurting. It has been a difficult weekend. For some reason, Gracie's death was haunting me and I was thinking about the ex. More than thinking, more like feeling like a shoe was about to drop kick me in the head out of nowhere. And sure enough.....I went to church and the whole freekin sermon was about...
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serendipity
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22
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556
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Gratitude!
(Preview)
I feel so grateful these days even though my life is still kinda crazy! I am tired too. My mom is on her way to her vacation for two weeks! I am glad she is getting time away & maybe this time I will miss her. I struggle a lot with my relationship with her but I do love her very much. My gratitude stems f...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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383
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"trash" and alanon way?
(Preview)
Okay this is a share and a direct question - so those that feel they really are familiar with the Alanon "way" please direct me. I am tired of the "trash" ways in our life. Meaning beer cans everywhere, boyfriend's job is with all (dirty) blue collar workers and boss (as recent pos...
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glad
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9
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424
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BIRTHDAY PARTY
(Preview)
((((Family)))) Today was my Mother in Laws birthday. The entire family gathered at her house. As we were driving up my AH made a comment that his alcoholic nephew was there. Many of you may remember the big blowup the 2 of them had a few months ago. It resulted in the police being called to his nephews hous...
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cookie1971
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9
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341
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Is it too late?
(Preview)
I started to post this in response to Lou, but decided to just put it here. My AH is doing really well right now, and I still get really sad sometimes cause I wonder if its too late for me. I really do love him, but it seems the love is just buried so far down in the mess that I have a hard time seeing it anymore. It...
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Jen
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7
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465
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HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!
(Preview)
((((((((((((Family)))))))), To my Irish Alanonuts out there, just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! I know this is usually a day where people use the day to drink extra. But let's celebrate the Irish heritage and enjoy the day for what it is. I am not Irish (Rusian-Fili...
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Karilynn
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3
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248
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trying to stay positive
(Preview)
He and I talked when he got up and we REALLY need to make sure we communicate!! I did move out. However, we are not broken up. I had a misunderstanding in thinking that he wanted me completely gone from his life. NO! He doesn't even really want me gone from the house, but I told him that this is what we both nee...
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JenniferN
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2
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265
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Chronic Apathy
(Preview)
Some time ago, ddub posted about Stress, and I found I could relate to every word she wrote. I have lived for the last thirty-three years with Chronic Stress and as a result in 2005 I ended up having a Nervous Breakdown. My doctor tells me that I have Reactive Depression not Clinical Depression, which fo...
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Heartbroken
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11
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2287
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I know this is going to sound horrible.
(Preview)
As most of you know I have 3 kids and for those of us who are parents of more than one we know that each child has their own personality and we relate differently to each. So here's my dilemma and I know this is horrible but it's true. I am having a really hard time finding the good in my middle child. This is t...
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carolinagirl
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15
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641
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WHAT ?
(Preview)
So I talked w my ex A tonite.He actually thinks hes going to be able to "go away and get himself straight" and come back to me !!!! Like Im a couch or something !!(those of you who have been keeping up w me , understand the couch pun !!) Can you believe that ?? I guess after paying for and going thru...
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MIDGET
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4
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453
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It's done
(Preview)
98% of my things are packed and I'll be moving back in with my mother today. It's not because of "her". It's because part of him wants to know what it would be like to be alone. He's never lived alone and he's 37 y/o. He's said this to me about a week ago; he's tired of taking care of other people, pa...
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JenniferN
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7
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425
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Making HP my parent/Thia ia WorkInProgress
(Preview)
so...I had a thought...I know HP loves me, looks out for me and gives me what I need when I need it. So......why then is it so much easier to focus on what my parents did to me or didn't do for me then it is to focus on how I know God is always with me and gives me what I need. Any thoughts?
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seekingserenity
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2
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509
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resisting an urge......
(Preview)
I was just going through the caller ID and noticed he deleted her number. WHY? am I being paranoid? am I letting my hormones get the better of me? or is it the unmistakeable gut feeling that something is wrong here? I called my sponsor, no answer. I don't know what to do. I have this urge to call her and find o...
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JenniferN
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9
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405
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And so it comes full circle
(Preview)
My sixteen year old came home drunk this am. He was sleeping over at a friends' house (supposidly). And I heard my AH yelling at him and part of his words were "you betrayed my trust". Hah some kind of bitter satisfaction as I have used those words against him and he has twisted them back at m...
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DeadOrAlive
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7
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444
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I've blown it all weekend!
(Preview)
Friday, BF got some bad news, he reacted like he always does and "made sad puppy dog eyes" saying he would deal with it but of course remaining so "sad and down". I of course reacted to his feelings and wanted to "fix" (control) the situation. Gosh I'm still learnin...
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glad
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5
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604
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and the pendulum swings...
(Preview)
I have gone from saying way too much, to almost being speechless when I am around my sober husband. He is finally opening his eyes to the wreck our life has become. Long story not as long, he sat me down today and asked about how I was doing financially. Basically, I told him I was working all I could and ga...
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Loupiness
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7
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313
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The obsessive search
(Preview)
Sadly I have been in the grip of the obsessive search for "evidence" for about a month (ouch!). And really, why? It was 2 weeks ago that my AH again fell prey to his demons. Supposidly a bottom. yeah. I hate this, and haven't done it for years but it is back with a vengence. Honestly I am try...
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DeadOrAlive
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6
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394
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Do ya'll do this?
(Preview)
When high stress hits me, helping my very loved old dogs in their death, sobbing because I just lost my old man potted pig Walter yesterday, something is horribly heavy but I have to do it. When I ran out to help tucker, there was Walter dieing.He is over 100 pounds.I prayed to Jehovah,please help me, I pi...
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debilyn
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6
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395
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How do we love those that are hard to love?
(Preview)
Tugg brought up this great question which has been rising from many spots laterly, Carolina Girl, etc. How do we love those that are hard to love? We can choose not to love them or we can choose to love them anyway. Maybe its also about how do you practice unconditional love and acceptance or is it even pos...
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Jean4444
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7
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640
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I'm trying....
(Preview)
I really am trying to work this program. I'm trying to detach and not "fix" him this weekend. And so far, I'm doing pretty good, despite the PMS and the uncontrollable urge I've had for the past 45 mins. to scream my head off about the recent phone call from "HER". He's been "d...
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JenniferN
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1
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475
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A human being, not a human doing...
(Preview)
For some time now I have been wrestling with silence. I have been afraid of silence, I have been disappointed by silence, I have thought that I was utterly forgotten and I was not prepared to sit, wait and listen through the silence any longer, for I wanted answers and I wanted them after the count of thr...
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Heartbroken
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7
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501
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just needing a little support
(Preview)
So I evicted my AH and filed for a divorce.He was full blown,lost his job,laying around drinking all day.Got so drunk he peed on himself while laying on the couch (yuk !!).So he cashes in his stocks and goes to Fl to help his dying Brother. He recieved the divorce papers,and he said he wont fight me on any...
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MIDGET
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11
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666
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A little drained!
(Preview)
I am a little drained but am hanging in there! Yesterday I went to one of our larger towns that is 60 miles away and my AH was kinda impatient. I needed a pair of black shoes and he got a little frustrated! We walked through the mall to get the shoes. Anyway, he hates when I get shoes, go figure? He figured tha...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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392
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bro in law surg prayers pls
(Preview)
bro in law needs prayers re open heart by pass surg t u n love n namaste getoverit
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getoverit
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6
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436
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UPDATE ON "THE MEETING"
(Preview)
((((Family)))) I tried to post a new thread after the"meeting" on Wed. nite, but I was quite ill both Wed nite and Thurs. so I never got a chance to finish it. When I got home from work on Wed. my AH was in a foul mood. I determined that I was not going to mention the meeting, and that if he still wa...
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cookie1971
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6
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458
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY .................
(Preview)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Tea!!!!! [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=yj6cbM-h8xg]
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Christy
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9
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406
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Was feeling wierd
(Preview)
I finally made steps and am taking care of stressors. Had to put my two very old dogs down a few days ago. Tedirug and Herbert Hudson are no longer in pain and constantly starting fights. I have not slept all night for almost a year. Had to let them out allll the time,plus they woke me up grumbling. So I hav...
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debilyn
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7
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489
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Why do I open my mouth sometimes...
(Preview)
Ugh. Feeling down right now.
Just when I finished my last post here, my AH calls me on my work line.
First thing out of his mouth is "I've been trying to call you on your cell but you're not answering!" Sometimes my phone just gets into a dead spot and it won't ring. Sometimes I just don't hea...
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Aloha
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4
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430
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cant get in chat room
(Preview)
i havent been here in quite some time, but when i clicked on the chat room, it wont load for me. i get the little white square with the red x on the top left corner. does anyone know why that might be happening? obviously, the message board opens for me, but the chat room wont.... thanks in advance! searc...
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search41
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2
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388
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To forgive the unrepentant...
(Preview)
"To forgive the unrepentant is like drawing pictures in a pond" (thanks Jennifer) He is sick, the reason I put up with it, danced a dance to try to fix it, turned myself inside out worrying about it, embarrassed myself over and over begging for it to be different was/ is because I "caug...
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glad
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5
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1743
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on death and heaven and God
(Preview)
I am posting this mainly to document it. The 2 younger ones and I were at dinner. On the placemat were questions to start discussions. What would you do if you were president, if you had 3 wishes, if you could have a wild animal, etc. The last one was if you could go back in time where would you go and why. My l...
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serendipity
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1
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537
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More of my stuff
(Preview)
I feel like I should apologize at the beginning of my posts now because so much of it feels like I am "dumping" on you all. Yet, I need to be able to tell you all the truth of what is going on in my life. So with that in mind, The A did get 50 days in lock down. Some guy in jail called to tell me this with...
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Codependent
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4
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365
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It takes two....
(Preview)
Listening to the Osmonds Reunion concert. Marie and Donny are singing "It takes two". I miss my AHsober. We went skiing together - his idea. He said it will be fun. It was. Just like old times. Then we went south to golf and warm up after this wicked winter. My idea. I said it will be fun. It was. N...
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nmike
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4
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358
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There is No Justifiable Judgement
(Preview)
(((Family))) I came on here to post about the topic of forgiveness and lo and behold I see Glad's post "to forgive the unrepentent" . Forgiveness was the topic of my ftf meeting last nite. We read pages 86 and 87 in "How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics". An...
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david62
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3
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761
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Thanks glad....
(Preview)
I was pretty upset this morning when I came on here. I didn't want to post about what had happened, and I'm still not going to, because it's quite personal. So, I started reading. And I started with glad's post. That got me to thinking in a different direction and I posted my reply and with doing that, with...
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JenniferN
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1
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386
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Yes, the grass is greener.
(Preview)
I filed for divorce a month ago after months of agonizing and therapy, and years of making excuses. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done. I hate the fact that it has been difficult on my daughter. Yes, I have to carefully watch every penny. Yes, I have to lean on others. My XH is not happy with...
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optimistundone
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5
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553
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Cunning - Powerful - Baffling
(Preview)
Aloha Family!! This is a must share for me so that I can relieve the awareness pressure from my spirit that the disease has brought. My wife and I attended a wake and viewing this morning for a young (40) man who died as a result of cancer. They were friends from my wife's work place who had moved to Nev 7 yea...
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Jerry F
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14
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499
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Without MOM!
(Preview)
I actually went to a meeting without my mom on Tuesday! I feel so great about it because I rarely go to meetings without her because of the fact that there are very few meetings in our town and she feels she needs to go to all of them so where does that leave me? Anyway, I went to a huge Alanon meeting 60 miles a...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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415
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Give us this day . . . our daily Laughter
(Preview)
I just had to share this with y'all. This Mom just had to be an Alanoner laughter in recovery, Maria HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNERYou don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one..Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beauti...
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Maria123
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9
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652
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I created my own double bind!
(Preview)
My wanting to "help" my "A" ( by nagging, begging, "explaining" (loudly) healthy thinking) has been totally selfish. My way to try to excape my own "double bind" I put myself in, which is: I don't want to be in an unhealthy relationship, but I do want to be w...
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glad
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3
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494
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new to alanon just wondering if anyone has info for me
(Preview)
I am new to alanon although not new to alcoholism. My boyfriend is an alcoholic. Last weekend he was given a DUI and spent the night in jail. MUCH to his credit he has not drank since. He is really trying to stop drinking. He has been to two AA meetings and has an appointment with his therapist on Thursday. I...
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qhgirl
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14
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571
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Rough Start to a Beautiful Day...so far
(Preview)
Had a pretty rough start this morning...I asked him last night to make sure I was up this morning when he got home from work (7a.m.)...he did(n't)... he said ONE thing to me this morning to wake me up...and that doesn't work...I was pretty upset when I finally woke up 40 minutes later. I told him that I was...
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JenniferN
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7
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590
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There is no rule I must return anger with anger
(Preview)
I had a testing moment this evening when I got home from work.
My AH was out on the driveway washing his bike and his moped. I went inside for a bit, and then came across something that needed to be put in the garage, so I went to the garage to put that something away and noticed one of our good bath towels han...
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Aloha
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9
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494
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Twelve hours later...failed!
(Preview)
This morning I wrote about being angry and had every intention of having a successful day of even temperament. It is twelve hours later. My heart is breaking in half and I don't know if I am angry or just what I am feeling. Grandbaby and son here this afternoon. Marigolds planted. Lots of love and hugs an...
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omajoy
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10
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428
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quick update
(Preview)
Just wanted to say thanks to ya'll for the ESH and to let ya'll know that I did apologize to him when I got home. I thought about it more after my post and realized it wasn't really that important to be/stay upset over. So, I amitted I was wrong, apologized, and moved on! (oh and I'll be using the alarm on my ce...
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JenniferN
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0
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230
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This is where I am at..
(Preview)
I am married to an alcoholic who is presently in an intensive rehab provided by the Department of Corrections - a special program for DUI felonly offenders. He is due to be released soon, coming home to family and job, under the watch of probation. He recently asked what he could do to make our marriage...
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grizmom
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15
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644
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Anybody else ever do this?
(Preview)
Well I have discovered over the last few days I may want to do some things just because I want to. I just realized that in the (recent) past I have had some really weird thoughts in my head. Examples: I'll clean the house really good today, maybe light some candles (my boyfriend will like it when he c...
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glad
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3
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518
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Newbie to Al-Anon, should I leave him? PLEASE HELP!
(Preview)
If he gets drunk while he is suppose to care for our 3-month-old daughter, should I leave him? He has never been physically abusive, but is emotionally abusive to me when he is drunk. He suffers from depression. His father is also an Alcoholic, and encourages him to drink. He admits he has a problem and...
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NewMom07
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10
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659
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If nothing changes, nothing changes...
(Preview)
A few months ago I had my granddaughter overnight, and had to take her to her mother's the next day (my alcoholic/addict 30 year old daughter). The daughter had been out of jail for some time, and was living with a new 'bf', someone she had met through the small church she's been attending since she's bee...
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Tenderheartsks
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9
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667
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shrivelled, ghoulish and toothless
(Preview)
I am a support worker and go into homes of those who are frail because of illness or age. Most of my clients are dying of preventable diseases and the ones who confront me the most of course are those dying of alcoholism. Some have wives who are nursing them and others are alone with their television sets...
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silverbrumby
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5
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325
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Speaker
(Preview)
Last night I was a speaker at an al-anon meeting. Its kind of my home group. I was really scared. I mean, I have done a ton of public speaking but this was really different. It was super hard but I did it and I shared some things that were very personal and very painful. It really brought some stuff back up for...
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Jean4444
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6
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439
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Tuesday's Gratitude
(Preview)
Having just finished an email to my sponsor because I felt it was too late to call, I thought I'd share some good things that happened yesterday/today. ****side note first: you all are COMPLETELY AWESOME!!!**** I've been thinking the past couple of days how funny typing "my A" or "th...
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JenniferN
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5
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426
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oops, I think I messed up!
(Preview)
okay silly question / post about boundries, but just in case you guys never hear from me again you'll know why- (kidding I promise) BF ask me/ offered for me to use his truck to go to my work appointments because my car is really dangerous at the moment, something wrong with axel. In his truck at last minu...
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glad
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6
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575
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More ok than I thought!
(Preview)
Been working on,ok what would make me feel better inside. So doing stuff here to make my home not such a muck up Today I drove from stupid Mapquests directions to pick up a ewe an ewe? wierd, anyway,got sorta lost.drove up, I mean UP this winding steep road wayyyyyyy up to the sky, truck ran out of gas.wond...
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debilyn
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7
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475
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displaced anger
(Preview)
I have had some discussions recently with my counselor about anger. It seems that is the emotion I am most frequently experiencing lately...the one which undoes me in my quest for recovery and peace. He has gently pointed out to me that I have lots of reasons to be angry at the world the past months. My...
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omajoy
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8
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1893
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Courage to change...
(Preview)
I have been thinking a lot lately about what this really means in general, and specifically to me in my life. I think a lot of times courage is about getting past crippling fears and doing what is right. Then other times courage is doing the right thing even though it's not what I want to do or it's not com...
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carolinagirl
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8
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397
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Need ESH
(Preview)
I've had 3 1/2 months with little to no contact from my A. During this time, I've discovered (and rediscovered) some things about myself. Thanks to this board and the program, I have opened up my eyes to lots of truths. I'm still digesting some of them and learning so many important things. So I go out...
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round3
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9
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346
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Better!
(Preview)
Things are getting better slowly but surely. I am starting to let go of some of my character defects that are coming back to me lately. I mean past experiences are reminding me how truly "imperfect" I am. I am letting go of the need to control others, how I tend to be in the "all about m...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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351
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CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC
(Preview)
((((Family)))) Having a discussion with the AH today, and he comes up with "Didn't you say your meeting also has AA on Wednesday Night?" So I say yes it does. Then he says I think I'll go with you tomorrow night. Hmmm. Mind you now, this man has attended only 2 AA meetings so far, so I'm not reall...
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cookie1971
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6
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437
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