Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sdisnie · sdisnie

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" ~ Christopher Robin to Pooh Without the support of friends and alanon and alanon friends, I probably would never have survived all the craziness I've lived through....

youghlake · youghlake

Friday Night was a disaster here at my house. My AH and I went shopping and running around and things. Nothing dramatic. I knew he had been drinking, he always drinks, 15,20,25 beer a day. We have been together for 11 years, and I have two children from a prior marriage, 17 and 18 yo. Daughter was at work,...

independentme · independentme

My husband, left me because even after 4 years of sobriety. He is still sick. So he has left to go work on whatever. While I am homeless, jobless and destitute. Yes, Now I feel like I am dealing with an alcoholic again and I remember those days. No rational. Baffling. Cunning. Aloof. Funny thing once an...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, that you all for your kind words and support. I haven't gone to the hospital....yet. Instead, I went to my parents house and hung out with them and my sister. I have a hard time reaching out but I'm glad I did cause otherwise I would have just sat here and starred at a wall. I called the hospita...

member922 · member922

Ok, so things have been going ok with the on again off again ABF lol. I just have to ask something, but not quite sure what. So I set my boundaries that I do not want him smoking pot around me and that he has to be able to pass a drug test to see my children. He has respected those boundaries thus far. So this...

Lila Frost · Lila Frost

In my situation I have a mother with psychiatric and alcohol abuse issues and a very private father who is always trying to downplay everything. She has never admitted to having a problem with her drinking except once when she was so drunk that she was in crisis. Every since then she minimizes everthi...

glad lee · glad lee

I've recently gotten out of a relationship, the first since my divorce in 2008. In fact, the only other Love I've had. I am so hurt that he ended it with me. Well, you know what they say... hurt people hurt people. The temptation for revenge has been enormous, my brain has come up with some delicious id...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, well, I haven't heard from AH yet and it's 11:15 am over here.. I spoke with AH last night around 11pm and he thought he'd be in the hospital for "a while longer". If you read my first update post - AH was talking about his heart and chest pain, minimizing alcohol's involvement. EK...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Some issues with wife again this week but really it's my inability to let it go, detach, not be codependant that is giving me a hard time. I don't know how to stop ruminating on the negative stuff. I do feel a little better insulated against depression. NOt as intense and not as long. I was sitting at my...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

a day can make. I have been struggling and for months over my 18yo daughter leaving home and her behavior and of course my over reacting, obsessing, controlling, etc actions. Thru the help I have been given from this program I have been learning to let go. let her live and try to focus on myself. This past...

tlcate · tlcate

So the post by MJ today about Right and Wrong got me thinking - and as usual I had an "ah ha" moment. The problem is, I don't see the answer yet. My parents weren't very forthcoming with love, in my mom's home if there were emotions it was anger, and in my Dad's there just were no emotions allowe...

living_with_my_a · living_with_my_a

I got into an argument at the online alanon meeting tonight about sharing. I don't yet know who the ops are or what the rules are in the meetings. Do we share when the op opping calls on us, or when ANY op calls on us? I raised my hand tonigh and did not get called on in the regular way. The whole room told me to s...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Well, AH went off to work respite today with a teenage boy with severe disabilities, has a breathing tube ect... My AH knows this family very well - they are VERY good to him. Kind loving people. Anyway, so he's been at work for 3.5 hours. He called me an hour ago to tell me the phone number to reach him at sin...

Speck · Speck

Some might say its inappropriate to look for the humour in the situations that members of this message board, including myself are going through. Personally I grab any opportunity I can to laugh at the problems of being with an alcoholic................... Never quite so funny to explain later i...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

Here I am again. ABF is the one who got tasered a few months ago, was sober for about 3 weeks, then went right back to drinking and I kicked him out. I've done really well at focusing on me and my daughter (she's not his daughter). But I still talk to him. And as much as I've detached, I still care about him. I st...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I've been going to Al Anon for about 3 months now, I believe. I understand the basic concepts and ideas behind it and it all makes sense to me and I can see how it can really help me deal with so much in my life, both alcohol related and not. That being said...I can't seem to put this into place to the degree tha...

lyndebi · lyndebi

My place is called Eden by the way. You guys have shared so much esh this last week, I am so humbled. thank you. I am sitting here wrapped up in a dark green feather blanket with my ginger cat winnie. sauvey the great Pyr is chewing on a bone, loudly! Zillions of red house finches are at the feeders not 4 feet f...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I hope no one minds but I felt I needed a separate thread for this. According to my therapist I am rigid in my thinking at times. i know what she means. I often have to counter my knee jerk reactions to things so as not to respond in the same old way, be open to new ideas etc. But as I explained to her while I a...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Uhhgg! I'm so frustrated and need some strength please:) As some of you might remember from previous posts - AH lost his job after being released from the psych ward because 30 days to mail a piece of paper to his work wasn't long enough, because I had the car one day, because he was sick, because .. well,...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I don't need to define this as I'm sure you all know what I mean in the title. My problem is this. If I'm being anxious about a future event, I can usually work with it by reminding myself that I can't predict the future. My issue is the present (and I guess the past to some degree). And it's usually about...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I am taking experience from you guys to write this down then read it like it is another member. I got an email from an old school mate guy. Was nice. We have been emailing back and forth for a week or so now. Eased the lonlies plus I like hearing about others lives. I got to where I asked do you smoke? drink? He i...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp Like Every other person in the World that is Currently Possesing a Heart, I am Completely Depleated... I wish I could blame my stress on the Holidays, and Maybe some of it is, but for me it seems just "Life" has me heading back into the way of Insanity... I am still Only Making But ONE of my T...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Tonight I surprised myself. My AH came home from work, ate and then took his usual horizontal position on the bed. During this time, I watched part of a movie with my older daughter and played marbles with my younger daughter. He then went to AA. During this time I watched home movies with my daughters. H...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Last night, I was channel surfing and landed upon the show "Intervention", which I typically don't watch, but have occasionally found interesting.... My 14-year old daughter was in the process of going to bed, but I let her stay up with me for awhile longer, and we watched a couple of the s...

SeekingPeace · SeekingPeace

Hi everyone. This is only my second post and I'm usually very quiet on this board. But, I wanted to share something great that happened today. My mother is the A in my life and she's been living with with my grandparents since she lost her home and job. They are trying to control her (we know this doesn't w...

Evian · Evian

This evening was my 8yr old daughters Christmas concert. AH knew about it, he knew our daughter wanted him there. Yet... as always, come noon, he started his drinking. I reminded him early this afternoon that she wanted him there, and he got mad at me.. Telling me how bad his back hurts ( ok, yes he has a ba...

rebc · rebc

Hi,I'm so glad i found this community. I've been married to my AH for almost 17 years. We have one child, an 11 year old boy. My highest priority is to protect him and try to make his life as normal as possible under the circumstances. I drink as well, but have cut way down (with no effort which was a huge...

stephaniej · stephaniej

My AH and I had our first huge fight in almost 2 months on the phone this morning. I am ashamed to say that my 7-year old heard my end of it. I am done (for the most part) obsessing over what my AH said and did. I'm trying to focus on how to discuss this with my 7-year old tonight when I get home from work. I want...

lyndebi · lyndebi

How do you ease the dang anxiety, like a rock in your gut? Since I went off Effexor I just cannot get my tummy right! Does Prozac cause this maybe? I have never felt this so awful. I wake up with it. My mind is not worrying either. I am grateful and my list is infinite. What is wrong with me???? About to go see my...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

I would appreciate members' ESH on how they walk the line between Alanon and the rest of the world. I imagine it would be best for me if I could simply practice Alanon principles in the world without referring to Alanon special vocabulary and slogans. I understand to an outsider, our vocab wouldn't car...

tryingtostaysane · tryingtostaysane

hi all, my husband and i have been marriage since january. i am 6 months pregnant. alcohol has been an issue all throughout dating as well, and we broke up over his argumentativeness, defensiveness, verbal aggression, all sparked by drinking. then we got back together during a period of him being sob...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I am feeling a little meloncholly today... this song hits home right now. I am still a phoenix though, don't you worry! I will transcend!

sdisnie · sdisnie

Well first off, I don't care about the cyber stalker anymore...haven't heard anything more, so hopefully it will stay that way, but I'm definately not going to let them make me feel like I can't interact on this site anymore!! So they always say that when one door closes, another door opens. Sometime...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...The consequences of following thru on trust over the course of this journey of recovery will work for my recovery. That promise has always come true sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. Most recently it came to pass in helping me properly participate in eye surgery. I was the o...

lilac21 · lilac21

Okay, I have worked out a lot of my resentment and misgivings about my AH. I realize it doesn't hurt anyone but me to hold on to this, yet there is one thing I am having a hard time working through. I am going to share with you all and hope that putting it on this board will help me work through this. This year I h...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

This song just makes me all excited for my recovery... I have no idea how to post it here, but I love it :) I am a firework! A Phoenix rising.... Thank you all! What songs do you like ????

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Get involved, knowingly, in an relationship with another A? I've asked myself this alot lately...wondering.... Being single and in the dating world I have discovered that this is an area I struggle with. I know social drinkers, I myself will have an occassional "social drink" once or t...

Fed Up in Canada · Fed Up in Canada

Hello Everyone, Nic here, from Canada. This might be a lengthy post, but I will try to make it quick and easy to read. Also, it is about my sister, who is not an alcoholic herself (our father was). I really hope I can still get advice... About myself I am 25. I'm not an alcoholic. I do drink, but not to that ex...

nunu89 · nunu89

Hello, I am new here & have a question. My Hubby is recovered for the past 6 yrs. We have been together for 18 1/2, married 13 & have 2 daughters.F For the past 1 1/2 I have been feeling very selfish. I have begun to drink 1-2 times wk. I have about 2 glasses of wine each time. Being on antidepressants...

Country Lover · Country Lover

Hello I am new here and struggling with a kind, generous big teddy bear AH. He's not abusive or mean but his habits are driving us quickly to financial ruin...he won't even discuss the problem. Seems he needs his booze and cigarettes before the bills get paid..what shoud I do?? I do not want to have to mov...

John · John

Hello Everyone, Each year at this time, I send out a simple request to all MIP members to consider sending holiday cards to the residents of Miracles In Progress Aftercare Recovery Homes. As many of us already know from our own experience, the holidays during early recovery can be very hard on newco...

Evian · Evian

Hi, Just wondering if anyone has any good tips for me. For the last few days, I have exhausted... I'm having a hard time getting out of bed, I'm on the couch most of the day, too tired to do anything, and like that until about 7 pm.. Then I seem to wake up a bit and can't get to sleep until 2 am.. Oh, yeah.. Gott...

RLC · RLC

Detachment questions come up many times in my f2f meetings and also on this board. I remember when I first entered the rooms of Al-Anon I knew the definition of detachment, but I didn't have a clue how to detach from the alcoholic in my life. Over time and with much practice detachment has become a ve...

SteppingUp · SteppingUp

Last Saturday night the family was at a holiday party and W got pretty drunk. Sunday she was paying for it. I made no mention of it and went about my day. We had another party on Sunday night. W didn't want to go so I took the boys. While there my 16 year-old son was sitting with a group of his friends chatting a...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

When I began alanon and working on my codependency issues, I thought I would never be able to even for one minute stop obsessing over others/things. I realize now that this is my symptom of my sickness. Just as alcoholics or drug addicts use a substance to stop feeling, I use other people to stop feeli...

david62 · david62

Hello Everyone, I was sitting in a meeting of my "other program" Sunday morning listening to the "speaker" talking about the subject of appropriate love, when the message turned a moment towards detachment. The thing he said that most stuck out to me was when he related a praye...

tweety23 · tweety23

Every year around the holidays I start having anxiety issues. I have little children and it is almost impossible for me to get to al-anon meetings. most of the year i can cope ok but as we get closer to christmas and new years I get panicky. Probably the sight of many bottles of wine and cases of beer enteri...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It sure is nice to get sleep & relax on a daily basis. If you were me, you would totally get what I am saying here. I am so grateful to God that He is taking care of me so I can relax & let him do it! Just have to turn it over on a daily basis & continue to accept the miracles & good experiences as t...

JustJill · JustJill

So I have been with alcholic Fiance for six years. I think I am really nearing the end of the line with him. For one, I have three kids that still live at home, 17,20,& 23. We get home from being at the cabin all weekend, to a driveway mostly dug out, but still some left. Also the snowplow has a towel jamme...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Ah told me this morning that he realized that he may in fact have an alcohol problem. He said that he realized he is drinking more and more and is starting to lose control. This came after drinking a lot this weekend which I posted about in another thread. He got really sick after drinking on Saturday and f...

kitty · kitty

Hello, every body. If you were in the meeting this morning, I think I am having a melt down. I aplogize. It seems obvious to me that I cannot chair the meetings anymore bc I do not want to be a police man of what people talk about in the chat room. I am here to work my recovery for me and I have to keep that as m...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I was struck today about how the realization that I have CHOICES has been instrumental in my recovery. When I got here, I didn't know I had many choices. Seemed to me like I had either choice A that was bad, or choice B that was even worse. Everything was just so black and white, and I didn't realize that...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

This comes up a lot. I don't like to fight with my wife (it never gets physical btw but she can get verbally abusive at times). But, there are times I do things that I know is right or something I have to do and I also know she is going to be mad and possibly start a fight over it. Case in point. Wife hired a lan...

youghlake · youghlake

Was wondering what literature is a 'must have' to read and comprehend and learn from. I have been looking through the site as well as Amazon, and it seems like there is so much I could purchase, but with the holidays I want to start gradually. Thank you. Dawn

freewilltoday · freewilltoday

Hey Everyone, I'm fairly new here, I've only posted twice. Let me give you a quick summary of my background. Started dating my A 3 years ago, had NO IDEA he was an A. He seemed to drink 'normally'. After 4 or 5 months in to the relationship he told me that he as an A. ( and had started drinking a month before we...

Evian · Evian

Is it just me, or does any one else have this problem? I can't seem to get close to my AH. I mean, anything to do with intimacy or any thing remotely close, makes me sick to my stomach. Is this normal?

Evian · Evian

Hi! Not sure where to begin, how to start healing, and not get dragged down by this disease. I'm married to an alcoholic, and we have 3 kids. He said he wants to seek treatment, but seems to be putting things off. The fights, the arguments are getting worse and I feel like I'm going crazy. He says he drinks b...

RLC · RLC

When I try to pull up the MIP web site the whole screen has the words "You Have Been Hacked" with a black backgournd. The only way I was able to get on to post this message is by clicking on a PM I received yesterday that I still had in my email and that took me to the site. Is anyone else having thi...

Overcome · Overcome

Would like some input on a situation and how you 'ol-timer's (and new timer's )might have handled a particular situation. background info: Ex-father-in-law sexually molested my ex-husband from the time he was 3-11. Physically, mentally and emotionally abused him the rest of his childhood. Men...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Gads I was out fixing the bird feeders, did not latch the door, all of a sudden 8 dogs go storming past me. I got the big ones in but the 5 little idiots, ran a mile down my road to the busy road! AND of course two people are just then taking their daily walk. I warn them my little monster dogs got out, the guy says...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	You're braver than you think..... (Preview) "Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" ~ Christopher Robin to Pooh Without the support of friends and alanon and alanon friends, I probably would never have survived all the craziness I've lived through....	sdisnie	3	759	Dec 20, 2010 by SteppingUp
	Still Frustrated, Can't get a grip. (Preview) Friday Night was a disaster here at my house. My AH and I went shopping and running around and things. Nothing dramatic. I knew he had been drinking, he always drinks, 15,20,25 beer a day. We have been together for 11 years, and I have two children from a prior marriage, 17 and 18 yo. Daughter was at work,...	youghlake	12	710	Dec 20, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	New Comer. Pissed but happy to be here. (Preview) My husband, left me because even after 4 years of sobriety. He is still sick. So he has left to go work on whatever. While I am homeless, jobless and destitute. Yes, Now I feel like I am dealing with an alcoholic again and I remember those days. No rational. Baffling. Cunning. Aloof. Funny thing once an...	independentme	4	819	Dec 20, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Update on AH's passing out at work crisis/hospital stay (Preview) Hi everyone, that you all for your kind words and support. I haven't gone to the hospital....yet. Instead, I went to my parents house and hung out with them and my sister. I have a hard time reaching out but I'm glad I did cause otherwise I would have just sat here and starred at a wall. I called the hospita...	danielle0516	5	570	Dec 20, 2010 by sdisnie
	Questions, boundaries and detachment... (Preview) Ok, so things have been going ok with the on again off again ABF lol. I just have to ask something, but not quite sure what. So I set my boundaries that I do not want him smoking pot around me and that he has to be able to pass a drug test to see my children. He has respected those boundaries thus far. So this...	member922	5	783	Dec 20, 2010 by member922
	Realistic boundaries (Preview) In my situation I have a mother with psychiatric and alcohol abuse issues and a very private father who is always trying to downplay everything. She has never admitted to having a problem with her drinking except once when she was so drunk that she was in crisis. Every since then she minimizes everthi...	Lila Frost	7	662	Dec 19, 2010 by Lila Frost
	resentment prayer (Preview) I've recently gotten out of a relationship, the first since my divorce in 2008. In fact, the only other Love I've had. I am so hurt that he ended it with me. Well, you know what they say... hurt people hurt people. The temptation for revenge has been enormous, my brain has come up with some delicious id...	glad lee	4	5044	Dec 19, 2010 by Tracy
	Update #2 AH in hospital passing out at work (Preview) Hi everyone, well, I haven't heard from AH yet and it's 11:15 am over here.. I spoke with AH last night around 11pm and he thought he'd be in the hospital for "a while longer". If you read my first update post - AH was talking about his heart and chest pain, minimizing alcohol's involvement. EK...	danielle0516	5	681	Dec 19, 2010 by lyndebi
	Tough week....how to let it go? (Preview) Some issues with wife again this week but really it's my inability to let it go, detach, not be codependant that is giving me a hard time. I don't know how to stop ruminating on the negative stuff. I do feel a little better insulated against depression. NOt as intense and not as long. I was sitting at my...	mjhyankees	10	760	Dec 19, 2010 by flinn66
	What a difference... (Preview) a day can make. I have been struggling and for months over my 18yo daughter leaving home and her behavior and of course my over reacting, obsessing, controlling, etc actions. Thru the help I have been given from this program I have been learning to let go. let her live and try to focus on myself. This past...	Ginger90	6	607	Dec 19, 2010 by Ginger90
	Rigid Thinking (Preview) So the post by MJ today about Right and Wrong got me thinking - and as usual I had an "ah ha" moment. The problem is, I don't see the answer yet. My parents weren't very forthcoming with love, in my mom's home if there were emotions it was anger, and in my Dad's there just were no emotions allowe...	tlcate	5	762	Dec 19, 2010 by glad lee
	I feel bad (online meeting) (Preview) I got into an argument at the online alanon meeting tonight about sharing. I don't yet know who the ops are or what the rules are in the meetings. Do we share when the op opping calls on us, or when ANY op calls on us? I raised my hand tonigh and did not get called on in the regular way. The whole room told me to s...	living_with_my_a	9	1219	Dec 19, 2010 by Courage
	Next Big Crisis and I didn't "save him" but I'm SO worried (Preview) Well, AH went off to work respite today with a teenage boy with severe disabilities, has a breathing tube ect... My AH knows this family very well - they are VERY good to him. Kind loving people. Anyway, so he's been at work for 3.5 hours. He called me an hour ago to tell me the phone number to reach him at sin...	danielle0516	13	890	Dec 19, 2010 by danielle0516
	Try and laugh! (Preview) Some might say its inappropriate to look for the humour in the situations that members of this message board, including myself are going through. Personally I grab any opportunity I can to laugh at the problems of being with an alcoholic................... Never quite so funny to explain later i...	Speck	3	624	Dec 19, 2010 by Speck
	I'm frightened (Preview) Here I am again. ABF is the one who got tasered a few months ago, was sober for about 3 weeks, then went right back to drinking and I kicked him out. I've done really well at focusing on me and my daughter (she's not his daughter). But I still talk to him. And as much as I've detached, I still care about him. I st...	jettiesgirl	10	496	Dec 19, 2010 by jettiesgirl
	Talking the talk but not walking the walk (Preview) I've been going to Al Anon for about 3 months now, I believe. I understand the basic concepts and ideas behind it and it all makes sense to me and I can see how it can really help me deal with so much in my life, both alcohol related and not. That being said...I can't seem to put this into place to the degree tha...	usedtobeanyer	12	903	Dec 18, 2010 by Jerry F
	saturday eden (Preview) My place is called Eden by the way. You guys have shared so much esh this last week, I am so humbled. thank you. I am sitting here wrapped up in a dark green feather blanket with my ginger cat winnie. sauvey the great Pyr is chewing on a bone, loudly! Zillions of red house finches are at the feeders not 4 feet f...	lyndebi	2	441	Dec 18, 2010 by tlcate
	Right and Wrong.... (Preview) I hope no one minds but I felt I needed a separate thread for this. According to my therapist I am rigid in my thinking at times. i know what she means. I often have to counter my knee jerk reactions to things so as not to respond in the same old way, be open to new ideas etc. But as I explained to her while I a...	mjhyankees	8	841	Dec 18, 2010 by Mattie
	AHH so frustrated and second guessing myself (Preview) Uhhgg! I'm so frustrated and need some strength please:) As some of you might remember from previous posts - AH lost his job after being released from the psych ward because 30 days to mail a piece of paper to his work wasn't long enough, because I had the car one day, because he was sick, because .. well,...	danielle0516	8	990	Dec 18, 2010 by lyndebi
	Problems with "stinkin' thinkin' ".... (Preview) I don't need to define this as I'm sure you all know what I mean in the title. My problem is this. If I'm being anxious about a future event, I can usually work with it by reminding myself that I can't predict the future. My issue is the present (and I guess the past to some degree). And it's usually about...	mjhyankees	5	704	Dec 18, 2010 by failte
	geez another A/Venting (Preview) I am taking experience from you guys to write this down then read it like it is another member. I got an email from an old school mate guy. Was nice. We have been emailing back and forth for a week or so now. Eased the lonlies plus I like hearing about others lives. I got to where I asked do you smoke? drink? He i...	lyndebi	20	878	Dec 18, 2010 by lyndebi
	Just Trying to Hold On!!!! (Preview) Welp Like Every other person in the World that is Currently Possesing a Heart, I am Completely Depleated... I wish I could blame my stress on the Holidays, and Maybe some of it is, but for me it seems just "Life" has me heading back into the way of Insanity... I am still Only Making But ONE of my T...	Jozie	5	1099	Dec 18, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Breakthrough, but still sad... (Preview) Tonight I surprised myself. My AH came home from work, ate and then took his usual horizontal position on the bed. During this time, I watched part of a movie with my older daughter and played marbles with my younger daughter. He then went to AA. During this time I watched home movies with my daughters. H...	looking_for_peace	3	735	Dec 18, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Watching "Intervention".... (Preview) Last night, I was channel surfing and landed upon the show "Intervention", which I typically don't watch, but have occasionally found interesting.... My 14-year old daughter was in the process of going to bed, but I let her stay up with me for awhile longer, and we watched a couple of the s...	canadianguy	12	885	Dec 18, 2010 by Andrea12
	Spoke with interventionist - empowered today (Preview) Hi everyone. This is only my second post and I'm usually very quiet on this board. But, I wanted to share something great that happened today. My mother is the A in my life and she's been living with with my grandparents since she lost her home and job. They are trying to control her (we know this doesn't w...	SeekingPeace	2	382	Dec 18, 2010 by kitty
	Disappointed again....yet not surprised (Preview) This evening was my 8yr old daughters Christmas concert. AH knew about it, he knew our daughter wanted him there. Yet... as always, come noon, he started his drinking. I reminded him early this afternoon that she wanted him there, and he got mad at me.. Telling me how bad his back hurts ( ok, yes he has a ba...	Evian	11	1050	Dec 17, 2010 by Evian
	New and very glad I'm here (Preview) Hi,I'm so glad i found this community. I've been married to my AH for almost 17 years. We have one child, an 11 year old boy. My highest priority is to protect him and try to make his life as normal as possible under the circumstances. I drink as well, but have cut way down (with no effort which was a huge...	rebc	6	854	Dec 17, 2010 by lyndebi
	Need some ESH (Preview) My AH and I had our first huge fight in almost 2 months on the phone this morning. I am ashamed to say that my 7-year old heard my end of it. I am done (for the most part) obsessing over what my AH said and did. I'm trying to focus on how to discuss this with my 7-year old tonight when I get home from work. I want...	stephaniej	4	613	Dec 17, 2010 by clep
	tiny question (Preview) How do you ease the dang anxiety, like a rock in your gut? Since I went off Effexor I just cannot get my tummy right! Does Prozac cause this maybe? I have never felt this so awful. I wake up with it. My mind is not worrying either. I am grateful and my list is infinite. What is wrong with me???? About to go see my...	lyndebi	8	724	Dec 17, 2010 by lyndebi
	how to "translate" your alanon self to your close friends? (Preview) I would appreciate members' ESH on how they walk the line between Alanon and the rest of the world. I imagine it would be best for me if I could simply practice Alanon principles in the world without referring to Alanon special vocabulary and slogans. I understand to an outsider, our vocab wouldn't car...	Imogen421	9	789	Dec 17, 2010 by Imogen421
	new here (Preview) hi all, my husband and i have been marriage since january. i am 6 months pregnant. alcohol has been an issue all throughout dating as well, and we broke up over his argumentativeness, defensiveness, verbal aggression, all sparked by drinking. then we got back together during a period of him being sob...	tryingtostaysane	13	797	Dec 17, 2010 by failte
	Good morning... need some positive energy today... (Preview) I am feeling a little meloncholly today... this song hits home right now. I am still a phoenix though, don't you worry! I will transcend!	sunflowergirl	8	808	Dec 17, 2010 by movinforward
	One door closes....another one opens (Preview) Well first off, I don't care about the cyber stalker anymore...haven't heard anything more, so hopefully it will stay that way, but I'm definately not going to let them make me feel like I can't interact on this site anymore!! So they always say that when one door closes, another door opens. Sometime...	sdisnie	13	1015	Dec 17, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	When the student is ready...the teacher arrives (Preview) Aloha Family...The consequences of following thru on trust over the course of this journey of recovery will work for my recovery. That promise has always come true sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. Most recently it came to pass in helping me properly participate in eye surgery. I was the o...	Jerry F	4	1178	Dec 17, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Something I Need to Work On (Preview) Okay, I have worked out a lot of my resentment and misgivings about my AH. I realize it doesn't hurt anyone but me to hold on to this, yet there is one thing I am having a hard time working through. I am going to share with you all and hope that putting it on this board will help me work through this. This year I h...	lilac21	7	759	Dec 16, 2010 by xeno59
	Katy Perry Firework Song (Preview) This song just makes me all excited for my recovery... I have no idea how to post it here, but I love it :) I am a firework! A Phoenix rising.... Thank you all! What songs do you like ????	sunflowergirl	11	3897	Dec 16, 2010 by clep
	Knowing what you know now...Would you ever??? (Preview) Get involved, knowingly, in an relationship with another A? I've asked myself this alot lately...wondering.... Being single and in the dating world I have discovered that this is an area I struggle with. I know social drinkers, I myself will have an occassional "social drink" once or t...	shellyj123	24	2076	Dec 16, 2010 by hotrod
	(Firt post) I feel like a monster :/ It's a long one, but your input will be extremely appreciated. (Preview) Hello Everyone, Nic here, from Canada. This might be a lengthy post, but I will try to make it quick and easy to read. Also, it is about my sister, who is not an alcoholic herself (our father was). I really hope I can still get advice... About myself I am 25. I'm not an alcoholic. I do drink, but not to that ex...	Fed Up in Canada	19	867	Dec 16, 2010 by abbyal
	New Here w/ Question about my actions lately....Hubby recovered for 6 yrs (Preview) Hello, I am new here & have a question. My Hubby is recovered for the past 6 yrs. We have been together for 18 1/2, married 13 & have 2 daughters.F For the past 1 1/2 I have been feeling very selfish. I have begun to drink 1-2 times wk. I have about 2 glasses of wine each time. Being on antidepressants...	nunu89	21	951	Dec 16, 2010 by nunu89
	How to respond to AH when financial disaster is upon us?? (Preview) Hello I am new here and struggling with a kind, generous big teddy bear AH. He's not abusive or mean but his habits are driving us quickly to financial ruin...he won't even discuss the problem. Seems he needs his booze and cigarettes before the bills get paid..what shoud I do?? I do not want to have to mov...	Country Lover	9	632	Dec 16, 2010 by Country Lover
	Annual Holiday Card Request (Preview) Hello Everyone, Each year at this time, I send out a simple request to all MIP members to consider sending holiday cards to the residents of Miracles In Progress Aftercare Recovery Homes. As many of us already know from our own experience, the holidays during early recovery can be very hard on newco...	John	0	594	Dec 16, 2010 by John
	Any tips? (Preview) Hi, Just wondering if anyone has any good tips for me. For the last few days, I have exhausted... I'm having a hard time getting out of bed, I'm on the couch most of the day, too tired to do anything, and like that until about 7 pm.. Then I seem to wake up a bit and can't get to sleep until 2 am.. Oh, yeah.. Gott...	Evian	9	1037	Dec 16, 2010 by abbyal
	Detachment.....How do you Detach? (Preview) Detachment questions come up many times in my f2f meetings and also on this board. I remember when I first entered the rooms of Al-Anon I knew the definition of detachment, but I didn't have a clue how to detach from the alcoholic in my life. Over time and with much practice detachment has become a ve...	RLC	22	1896	Dec 15, 2010 by RLC
	How much (if anything) to say... (Preview) Last Saturday night the family was at a holiday party and W got pretty drunk. Sunday she was paying for it. I made no mention of it and went about my day. We had another party on Sunday night. W didn't want to go so I took the boys. While there my 16 year-old son was sitting with a group of his friends chatting a...	SteppingUp	14	901	Dec 15, 2010 by SteppingUp
	I don't have to obsess about anything anymore (Preview) When I began alanon and working on my codependency issues, I thought I would never be able to even for one minute stop obsessing over others/things. I realize now that this is my symptom of my sickness. Just as alcoholics or drug addicts use a substance to stop feeling, I use other people to stop feeli...	sunflowergirl	9	712	Dec 15, 2010 by tlcate
	Detachment (Preview) Hello Everyone, I was sitting in a meeting of my "other program" Sunday morning listening to the "speaker" talking about the subject of appropriate love, when the message turned a moment towards detachment. The thing he said that most stuck out to me was when he related a praye...	david62	10	1096	Dec 15, 2010 by glad lee
	Holidays with an A but also with little ones. (Preview) Every year around the holidays I start having anxiety issues. I have little children and it is almost impossible for me to get to al-anon meetings. most of the year i can cope ok but as we get closer to christmas and new years I get panicky. Probably the sight of many bottles of wine and cases of beer enteri...	tweety23	3	628	Dec 15, 2010 by clep
	boy it is sure is nice... (Preview) It sure is nice to get sleep & relax on a daily basis. If you were me, you would totally get what I am saying here. I am so grateful to God that He is taking care of me so I can relax & let him do it! Just have to turn it over on a daily basis & continue to accept the miracles & good experiences as t...	Hoot Nanny	3	603	Dec 15, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	For people that have gotten out of the realtionship (Preview) So I have been with alcholic Fiance for six years. I think I am really nearing the end of the line with him. For one, I have three kids that still live at home, 17,20,& 23. We get home from being at the cabin all weekend, to a driveway mostly dug out, but still some left. Also the snowplow has a towel jamme...	JustJill	11	877	Dec 15, 2010 by failte
	Trying not to get my hopes up (Preview) Ah told me this morning that he realized that he may in fact have an alcohol problem. He said that he realized he is drinking more and more and is starting to lose control. This came after drinking a lot this weekend which I posted about in another thread. He got really sick after drinking on Saturday and f...	kimmy1975	5	755	Dec 14, 2010 by glad lee
	Sunday Chair ~ Melted Down today (Preview) Hello, every body. If you were in the meeting this morning, I think I am having a melt down. I aplogize. It seems obvious to me that I cannot chair the meetings anymore bc I do not want to be a police man of what people talk about in the chat room. I am here to work my recovery for me and I have to keep that as m...	kitty	5	743	Dec 14, 2010 by maresie
	Choices (Preview) I was struck today about how the realization that I have CHOICES has been instrumental in my recovery. When I got here, I didn't know I had many choices. Seemed to me like I had either choice A that was bad, or choice B that was even worse. Everything was just so black and white, and I didn't realize that...	White Rabbit	6	609	Dec 14, 2010 by SteppingUp
	How do I not get anxious about a fight? (Preview) This comes up a lot. I don't like to fight with my wife (it never gets physical btw but she can get verbally abusive at times). But, there are times I do things that I know is right or something I have to do and I also know she is going to be mad and possibly start a fight over it. Case in point. Wife hired a lan...	mjhyankees	14	821	Dec 14, 2010 by Jerry F
	Literature (Preview) Was wondering what literature is a 'must have' to read and comprehend and learn from. I have been looking through the site as well as Amazon, and it seems like there is so much I could purchase, but with the holidays I want to start gradually. Thank you. Dawn	youghlake	7	691	Dec 14, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	What to expect at a meeting....also 'novel' attached (Preview) Hey Everyone, I'm fairly new here, I've only posted twice. Let me give you a quick summary of my background. Started dating my A 3 years ago, had NO IDEA he was an A. He seemed to drink 'normally'. After 4 or 5 months in to the relationship he told me that he as an A. ( and had started drinking a month before we...	freewilltoday	5	746	Dec 14, 2010 by ythannah
	Is it just me? (Preview) Is it just me, or does any one else have this problem? I can't seem to get close to my AH. I mean, anything to do with intimacy or any thing remotely close, makes me sick to my stomach. Is this normal?	Evian	13	1031	Dec 13, 2010 by ythannah
	New here, and need some help/advice ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi! Not sure where to begin, how to start healing, and not get dragged down by this disease. I'm married to an alcoholic, and we have 3 kids. He said he wants to seek treatment, but seems to be putting things off. The fights, the arguments are getting worse and I feel like I'm going crazy. He says he drinks b...	Evian	40	1925	Dec 13, 2010 by youghlake
	Hacked ?????????????? (Preview) When I try to pull up the MIP web site the whole screen has the words "You Have Been Hacked" with a black backgournd. The only way I was able to get on to post this message is by clicking on a PM I received yesterday that I still had in my email and that took me to the site. Is anyone else having thi...	RLC	12	1075	Dec 13, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Acoholic Ex-Father-in-Law with sexual addiction verbally attacks grand-daughter (Preview) Would like some input on a situation and how you 'ol-timer's (and new timer's )might have handled a particular situation. background info: Ex-father-in-law sexually molested my ex-husband from the time he was 3-11. Physically, mentally and emotionally abused him the rest of his childhood. Men...	Overcome	4	1816	Dec 13, 2010 by canadianguy
	Dogs gone bad at Eden (Preview) Gads I was out fixing the bird feeders, did not latch the door, all of a sudden 8 dogs go storming past me. I got the big ones in but the 5 little idiots, ran a mile down my road to the busy road! AND of course two people are just then taking their daily walk. I warn them my little monster dogs got out, the guy says...	lyndebi	6	529	Dec 13, 2010 by Flora123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.