Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

whispa · whispa

hi all, my partner of nearly 12 years is (was) a drinker he has been sober 20 days today and is going to AA. we have been through it all before but im hopefull that this time it works as i love him to bits. the problem is me, i feel like i want to smash things up and screem and shout. i can be watching tv, be in the pa...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Okay the reality is we got poked by the crumby economy this first half of the month and we don't have any power over it. My spouse is distraught by it and outwardly looks bad...like it's frightenly out of control. It is out of our control and we have learned things to do about it rather than to worry and co...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I moved out ...My AH is having a hard time excepting that i'm gone. His drinking and pill taking seem to have gone out of control...Now he wants to come to MY house to "see the cat"...I feel bad..so bad. He's lost, out of control and has no one else. No family or friends....Is this setting a boun...

Screaming Barbie · Screaming Barbie

I am posting daily thoughts and such on a page about recovery-type things. This is for Al-Anon and AA people. I am looking for stories or tales about how people sometimes seek revenge but end up hurting themselves more than the person they were wanting to hurt. Or any other topic such as Letting Go and O...

roxygirl · roxygirl

I'm confused, please help me understand. Why do people who are an Al-anon member, do the 12 step program? I thought it was just for the addict? Please forgive my ignorance. Thanks, Roxygirl

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

38 years ago I was blessed w/ a very loving & special brother! I often feel a connection to him that may not always be healthy because maybe I love him too much. One time I told him I loved him & missed him & he said Ahh! I felt so sad that he didn't say it back--it hurt it really did but maybe he jus...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi my sober ABf is in Aa a newcomer asked if he would get me to ring his wife as she was going to attend her first meeting and was a bit nervous. I rang and we had a little chat she is going to a meeting tonight, I said its not my regular meeting but would meet her there if it would help. they say in al anon let it be...

jocelgp · jocelgp

my husband has not had a drink for 3 weeks now, that's according to him for i have stopped tracking. last night he told me he's only going to have a few bottles of beer with friends, of course that's to get my "approval". i don't really care if he drinks or not, i am trying to condition myself no...

xeno59 · xeno59

I have been down with the cold/flu bug Should I be late ( as my sleep is erratic) I am hoping someone will step up to chair. Thanks for your understanding Blessings xeno

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, I haven't been as active on hear in a while but I have been lurking daily and randomly replying just cant seem to find energy to do much anymore other than that which I have to do which I feel Is way too much to handle but I know its not (or didnt used to be) it's just how I feel as a result of how my lif...

dani2304 · dani2304

I am in a relationship going on 4 yrs. I was living with my boyfriend with him n my 3 kids from a previous marriage. he loved the like his own and was great to them. He has a pretty bad drinking problem. its not an every day thing, but when he drinks it cant be just a few, it turns to 15 or more beers n he becomes cr...

freeagain · freeagain

What do you do to stop feeling judgemental? It's bringing ME down and upsetting me but for whatever reason (refusal to examine my OWN issues/character defects) I can't seem to stop. I am so filled with resentments I can't even consentrate on doing a 4th step.....UGH!!!! And quick tricks to get me on th...

John · John

Hi Everyone, You recently had an exchange on this board with Arinna599, who had posted in the past few days about her previous marriage of 11 years, and the abuses she endured at the hands of her ex husband. I read her post, your replies to it, and her husbands post.. I am not sure exactly why, but I was co...

MarshaB · MarshaB

My 37year old single daughter is addicted to prescription drugs - in May 2010, we brought her home from Texas - not realizing this - she lived with grandma for a couple of months - found a minimum wage job and moved out (family insisted). In this short time she has lost 2 jobs (minimum wage type - she has a c...

Mary K · Mary K

Daughter has relapsed - child's father threatening to break up relationship - etc., etc., she just doesn't get it and i guess hasn't hit bottom yet - i am struggling with letting go and letting God! I love her and my grandson and hate to see them struggling so much - just wish they could all see that addic...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I'm angry at the 12 Steps! How dare they be worded so simply, yet be so hard to do! So, I'm angry at them today. I'm angry because I know I have to do the work, but the work is hard. I want someone else to do it for me. So, I'm angry! I want to run away. I want to run as far and as fast as I can. And when I get tir...

Debilyn · Debilyn

You know those places ya see on tv, where if you want a cup of tea someone brings it? And there are group therapy sessions and private ones? I picture all my dogs are super clean and my bedding is white. I can live in a white nightgown. Not have to think about anything. Trying not to now. Put my potted pigs on C...

EstellineGirl · EstellineGirl

My husband and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary 4 days ago. He hit the bottle again last night. I, of course, did what I always do when this happens and became very hateful. I say mean things. Which is of course better than what I want to do, which is squeeze his head off of his neck. Not really of course,...

kyrie · kyrie

Good morning, I went to 3 alanon meetings in the last 2 weeks. I haven't said a word. Honestly, I don't know where to begin. I said I was a "newcomer" at the first meeting, but I wasn't in a strict sense. I attend alanon about 5 times 2 years ago. I'm just not sure if this is where I belong but I know t...

Worth It · Worth It

Am I suppose to ignore my addicted husband's denial? I sent him out of the house to get help, he's getting it, but cannot come back until I feel ready for him to return home. My condition is that he is to be an actively recovering person if he chooses to live with me and the kids. He has discovered his ch...

Vickif · Vickif

Frustrating morning. He came home around 3am slamming doors and cursing. I pretended to be asleep. Don't know what all the anger was for, don't really care. When I got up this morning, I walked out to the laundry room and there was a girls watch and scarf just sitting there. How rude of him. Sitting there...

Sandy_K · Sandy_K

It's been so hard for me to know just where to begin. I had decided in December (I think) to begin going to Al-anon as hubby said he was going to begin AA meetingss. We were gone for a week of vacation, and a week after we returned our youngest son committed suicie at 23. I was fortunate to find this site a few w...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

for my life lately. The bills are never ending - I manage all the finances alone despite many offers to share the responsibility w/my AH. The parenting - yup, got it. The kids have been having a really hard time lately, they sense that things are not right, they pick up on my anxiety, add to that snow da...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I finally got my message across at an open AA meeting last night. I can't say all I shared but I think I opened some of the AAs eyes there. I guess what I needed was a captive audience & I got it! I can't say that I don't get through at an alanon meeting but they are so small & I missed my monthly big ala...

RLC · RLC

MIP Family FYI I just received a phone call from John. He told me to relay to everyone that it will be 2:00 pm est tomorrow (Sunday) before the video he posted today can be uploaded on the MIP site due to technical problems. He has no computer available today. He said he is so far out in the country toda...

B_L · B_L

So my sometimes in-recovery girlfriend seems to have turned over a new leaf since last week. Last Friday she was so drunk she ended up in the hospital (0.5 BAC, no that's not a typo). Her bloodwork showed liver problems. Having a bunch of usually jaded ER docs tell her that her "normal" level...

parfait624 · parfait624

My ABF sent me a text two weeks ago....it said I don't want any contact with you. We had been having problems and going back and fourth about a lot. It started at thanksgiving. He has been sober for three years so he says. He has become addicted to poker. We hadn't seen each other in two weeks when I got...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I found a meeting in my area but I won't be able to go until next week. I'm a little nervous because I don't know what to expect but I know I really need to go. I read some of the FAQs on the website and read the 12 steps and some of the meeting materials. I am a little confused though. A lot of the stuff I read s...

faith84 · faith84

This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. I have started recognizing my severity of codependency. I mentioned this to my AB, and he was completely confused by the fact that I have been blaming him for months and months because of my anger, depression, etc., and now I am blaming myself. I tried to e...

david62 · david62

http://www.nick.com/videos/clip/kids-of-alcoholics-full.html

Rhivenn · Rhivenn

How do you go from saying out loud "I forgive you" to actually being able to let the thing go? Maybe it's different for each of us, but I'm really at a loss on how to do this. Some of you may have read my post about my ABF and his flirtatious texting with his ex (also in AA). I've reached the point whe...

maresie · maresie

I've been working in a dysfunctional, chaotic, completely unfair environment for 18 months. My contract is up in 5 months. For those 18 months I've spent a lot of time resenting, cataloguing the problems which are numerous and daily. With 5 months to go on the contract I've switched my energy to lo...

kari419 · kari419

Well as I posted before. I wrote my AH a letter and did give it to him. It went surprisely well. He was not angry, but did appear a little worried. We talked for a while I stood to my guns and am expecting him to join AA or some other support group and begin the process. I do understand that he can't do this for me...

Loonareclipse · Loonareclipse

My fiancé had been sober for 13 years when he relapsed during 4 months during 2009-10. He got sober again last February, and just celebrated his 1 year anniversary this week. I'm so proud of him, but should I be insecure about his recovery? During this past year we relocated from NYC back to our hometown...

Jozie · Jozie

The Following was not Writting by Me, but found it very Enlightening... I did "Alter" a Few Words just so it would fit our Forum... It Came from a Veteran Friends Article... Hope you all Enjoy it as Much as I did.... I've always thought that I Could get through just about Anything if HP would t...

Ferny · Ferny

This is my second post on here. I wrote on here last year in January about my ACOA fiance who was abusive to me, and also my ACOA Mom. I am going to write everything that has happened to me recently. I hope it helps someone in the way thatI have been helped by reading people's stories. Here goes I left an...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

AH and I had a very long talk today about a lot of things. Insecurities from our past, fears, anxieties about the future, and of course about drinking. It was very heartfelt and tearful on both ends. At the end of the conversation he says to me, "I was dreading how you were going to treat me after m...

Honeypie · Honeypie

I had a hard day today. My A bf kept texting me while I was working, I didn't answer because I can't at work. After about 10 texts, I checked the phone. BF wanted to borrow $20 for food since he has nothing to eat and said he was coming to my workplace. I told him I didn't have cash and I would talk to him after wo...

elpis · elpis

Is there a recommended interval between group inventories? The manual states periodic intervals. I was under the impression it was every 2-3 years. Is it necessary to ask all the questions in the G8 form? Our group did an inventory 3 years ago and found it exceptionally helpful. We learned a great...

Vickif · Vickif

Hi everyone. I'm new and have been reading some of the posts here. I see that my story isn't much different than the rest here but I feel very alone right now. I have been with my boyfriend, sometimes fiancé for 11 years. We have a six year old son together. I think, I hope, I have finally reached the end of my...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

of the rabbit hole I have fell in. I have been struggling for about 6 mos with unbearable FEAR, the type of fear that makes you sit straight up in bed at 2:00 A.M., the type that puts your stomach into a knot, I have lost about thirty pounds during the last four months because I have no desire to eat. I just ha...

kari419 · kari419

I have posted about my AH and how confused I have been regarding what to do next. Well I have decided that no matter how much I love my H I love my kids more. Period. So I wrote him a letter telling him how I feel about his drinking, past problems that probably contribute to his drinking, and that I am not goin...

athabascan indian · athabascan indian

I'm just learning to self focus and boy its tough. Had a relapse today after my AH behaviors were odd. i began obsessing. Ugg...didnt do so well. I prayed and prayed and prayed but I dont feel as if I get relief until I know for sure. Geez....to many broken promises....someone said in another post the...

Linistea · Linistea

Step Work Board

delhommefan · delhommefan

I decided this week that I wanted to find one and I did. Unfortunately I cannot go until next Wednesday due to being out of town and night I have my daughter. I am child free next Wednesday and I am counting down the days. I don't know what to expect...I don't even know if I will say anything but reading t...

Honeypie · Honeypie

Today A BF text this morning to ask if I had his glasses and to complain to me about his landlord. I told him I would look for his glasses and ignored the comment about the landlord because I know he wants me to feel sorry for him since I told him he had to leave my house yesterday. We text back and forth a couple...

faith84 · faith84

So, after months and months of continuously losing myself, fighting depression, anger, sadness, etc., because of my agony and obsession for my boyfriend's addiction, I finally see the light. I picked up a book for myself (two days ago) called Codependent No More, and was ABSOLUTELY blown away at...

Jozie · Jozie

I was Just Sitting Here thinking... Trying to Pin Point what "Triggers" me on a Daily Basis, wihle in my day, sometimes they are Triggers of Growth, "Ah Moments" I have Triggers of Guilt "Daily", triggers of "Intimacy" Or Lack there of... Growth, I Can be...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi, I've been thinking alot about step one and journaling alot trying to straighten out my thoughts and ideas. Sometimes when i just let my thoughts come out on the page eventually I will begin to make sense (and some times I don't ) Anyway, I realized today that although I can't say my life is unmanageab...

suave75 · suave75

I am having a hard time trusting my ABF. I think the moment he is alone he will pick up a drink or visit the dealer. How do I trust him with money when he has been irresponsible and spent his money all on alcohol/ drugs? He has stolen money out of my purse. He had lied to me. He has manipulated me. I've tried to l...

pinkchip · pinkchip

It seems strangely ironic (although completely sensible) that the main focus in Alanon is to put the focus on yourself, while one of the main points in AA is to stop thinking about yourself so much. How would one achieve balance working both programs? Anyone got suggestions?

kari419 · kari419

Hello All, I am new to this type of group. Unfortunately I'm not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband and I have been together for 7 years with two small boys. I husband is a good man with a very caring heart. He does not drink all the time and due to this it was difficult for me to convince that he was act...

roxygirl · roxygirl

Hi, My question is how do I detach with love from my 27 yr. old son? My son spent 3 months in rehab. and then I thought he was on his way to changing his life and getting on track to be a stable and sober individual. So I allowed him to live with me and my husband for 7 1/2 months until I couldn't take i...

Honeypie · Honeypie

My boyfriend of 2 years is an alcoholic. He was in recovery when I first met him but has been slowing sliding backward drinking first 1 quart of beer after work then 2 then 3. He has had many problems in his life created by drinking. He lost his job at the end of October and has not been able to find work. I hav...

arinna599 · arinna599

Hello, I was married for 11 years to an abusive volitile addict. A few years ago, I divorced him. During the relationship he sexually assaulted me on more than one occasion. He currently works for a prominant treatment facility as an addictions counselor. Though I am within my rights to prosecute hi...

Jennifer · Jennifer

My exah gets out of prison today. The last couple years has been a breeze of concentrating on myself and my program. I am trying not to project. I am having a hard time trying to either not feel or accept feeling this dread that I am about to be tested in so many different ways. Any tool suggestions and ESH...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Even though I'm frightened about challenges in grad school, I'm grateful I have the chance to do interesting projects that I care about. I am also grateful for those in my life (I am lucky to have a loving and supportive partner, friends, family and faculty advisers) who will accept and support me even...

weggie · weggie

It has started again. My A has been so good that I knew that something was about to happen or explode. He has not had a drink in one month and I told him how proud of him I was and that he can beat this with some help. To make a long story short, he started to drink again every night just a little but now it is bac...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Well on my journey... could not even walk this morn. Like my friend told me, u have used up all the beans in your jar, I said no, i lost all my marbles. She had to come get me, rush me to doc. I had no strength to fight it. Plus I am sick and WANT to get better. doc was great. friend went in with me. All the stuff you a...

clep · clep

After much thought about the situation, I let my A know that I will no longer live with an A that is not in active recovery. Even though he is physically sober, he is mentally not. I let him know it is not in my best interest to live with the progressive insanity that has seeped into our lives and either the i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	about to explode.... (Preview) hi all, my partner of nearly 12 years is (was) a drinker he has been sober 20 days today and is going to AA. we have been through it all before but im hopefull that this time it works as i love him to bits. the problem is me, i feel like i want to smash things up and screem and shout. i can be watching tv, be in the pa...	whispa	6	535	Feb 23, 2011 by whispa
	Powerless and grateful for it... (Preview) Okay the reality is we got poked by the crumby economy this first half of the month and we don't have any power over it. My spouse is distraught by it and outwardly looks bad...like it's frightenly out of control. It is out of our control and we have learned things to do about it rather than to worry and co...	Jerry F	1	757	Feb 23, 2011 by Jennifer
	Where are the boundaries? (Preview) I moved out ...My AH is having a hard time excepting that i'm gone. His drinking and pill taking seem to have gone out of control...Now he wants to come to MY house to "see the cat"...I feel bad..so bad. He's lost, out of control and has no one else. No family or friends....Is this setting a boun...	alexmaui	5	946	Feb 22, 2011 by pinkchip
	Looking for Stories or Parables applicable to those in recovery. (closed) (Preview) I am posting daily thoughts and such on a page about recovery-type things. This is for Al-Anon and AA people. I am looking for stories or tales about how people sometimes seek revenge but end up hurting themselves more than the person they were wanting to hurt. Or any other topic such as Letting Go and O...	Screaming Barbie	5	1682	Feb 22, 2011 by Peggy7
	Question? (Preview) I'm confused, please help me understand. Why do people who are an Al-anon member, do the 12 step program? I thought it was just for the addict? Please forgive my ignorance. Thanks, Roxygirl	roxygirl	6	762	Feb 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	this is my bro.s day! (Preview) 38 years ago I was blessed w/ a very loving & special brother! I often feel a connection to him that may not always be healthy because maybe I love him too much. One time I told him I loved him & missed him & he said Ahh! I felt so sad that he didn't say it back--it hurt it really did but maybe he jus...	Hoot Nanny	1	627	Feb 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	supporting new comers (Preview) Hi my sober ABf is in Aa a newcomer asked if he would get me to ring his wife as she was going to attend her first meeting and was a bit nervous. I rang and we had a little chat she is going to a meeting tonight, I said its not my regular meeting but would meet her there if it would help. they say in al anon let it be...	Tracy	5	749	Feb 22, 2011 by Tracy
	tried to detach & focus on myself but he makes life difficult for me (Preview) my husband has not had a drink for 3 weeks now, that's according to him for i have stopped tracking. last night he told me he's only going to have a few bottles of beer with friends, of course that's to get my "approval". i don't really care if he drinks or not, i am trying to condition myself no...	jocelgp	4	892	Feb 22, 2011 by Bettina
	Tuesday am meeting 2/23 (Preview) I have been down with the cold/flu bug Should I be late ( as my sleep is erratic) I am hoping someone will step up to chair. Thanks for your understanding Blessings xeno	xeno59	0	456	Feb 22, 2011 by xeno59
	My update (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't been as active on hear in a while but I have been lurking daily and randomly replying just cant seem to find energy to do much anymore other than that which I have to do which I feel Is way too much to handle but I know its not (or didnt used to be) it's just how I feel as a result of how my lif...	danielle0516	5	794	Feb 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	Just need an ear to listen to me... advice lended ear support (Preview) I am in a relationship going on 4 yrs. I was living with my boyfriend with him n my 3 kids from a previous marriage. he loved the like his own and was great to them. He has a pretty bad drinking problem. its not an every day thing, but when he drinks it cant be just a few, it turns to 15 or more beers n he becomes cr...	dani2304	5	8683	Feb 21, 2011 by EstellineGirl
	Judgement (Preview) What do you do to stop feeling judgemental? It's bringing ME down and upsetting me but for whatever reason (refusal to examine my OWN issues/character defects) I can't seem to stop. I am so filled with resentments I can't even consentrate on doing a 4th step.....UGH!!!! And quick tricks to get me on th...	freeagain	4	1729	Feb 21, 2011 by maryjane
	Letting Go, Letting God, Reclaiming our Lives, Releaseing Resentment - (Dedicated Video) (Preview) Hi Everyone, You recently had an exchange on this board with Arinna599, who had posted in the past few days about her previous marriage of 11 years, and the abuses she endured at the hands of her ex husband. I read her post, your replies to it, and her husbands post.. I am not sure exactly why, but I was co...	John	6	1254	Feb 21, 2011 by hotrod
	Don't know how to handle situation (Preview) My 37year old single daughter is addicted to prescription drugs - in May 2010, we brought her home from Texas - not realizing this - she lived with grandma for a couple of months - found a minimum wage job and moved out (family insisted). In this short time she has lost 2 jobs (minimum wage type - she has a c...	MarshaB	9	1424	Feb 21, 2011 by maresie
	Relapse (Preview) Daughter has relapsed - child's father threatening to break up relationship - etc., etc., she just doesn't get it and i guess hasn't hit bottom yet - i am struggling with letting go and letting God! I love her and my grandson and hate to see them struggling so much - just wish they could all see that addic...	Mary K	2	667	Feb 21, 2011 by Tracy
	I'm angry (Preview) I'm angry at the 12 Steps! How dare they be worded so simply, yet be so hard to do! So, I'm angry at them today. I'm angry because I know I have to do the work, but the work is hard. I want someone else to do it for me. So, I'm angry! I want to run away. I want to run as far and as fast as I can. And when I get tir...	Very Very Tired	11	1780	Feb 21, 2011 by Canadiangrrl
	someone commit me please.... (Preview) You know those places ya see on tv, where if you want a cup of tea someone brings it? And there are group therapy sessions and private ones? I picture all my dogs are super clean and my bedding is white. I can live in a white nightgown. Not have to think about anything. Trying not to now. Put my potted pigs on C...	Debilyn	12	1354	Feb 20, 2011 by RLC
	I don't know what to do anymore (Preview) My husband and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary 4 days ago. He hit the bottle again last night. I, of course, did what I always do when this happens and became very hateful. I say mean things. Which is of course better than what I want to do, which is squeeze his head off of his neck. Not really of course,...	EstellineGirl	4	1144	Feb 20, 2011 by Tattyhead
	Not sure where I belong..but I'm terrified (Preview) Good morning, I went to 3 alanon meetings in the last 2 weeks. I haven't said a word. Honestly, I don't know where to begin. I said I was a "newcomer" at the first meeting, but I wasn't in a strict sense. I attend alanon about 5 times 2 years ago. I'm just not sure if this is where I belong but I know t...	kyrie	6	850	Feb 20, 2011 by pinkchip
	Need Help with letting go (Preview) Am I suppose to ignore my addicted husband's denial? I sent him out of the house to get help, he's getting it, but cannot come back until I feel ready for him to return home. My condition is that he is to be an actively recovering person if he chooses to live with me and the kids. He has discovered his ch...	Worth It	5	854	Feb 20, 2011 by Karilynn
	Trying not to scream at him (Preview) Frustrating morning. He came home around 3am slamming doors and cursing. I pretended to be asleep. Don't know what all the anger was for, don't really care. When I got up this morning, I walked out to the laundry room and there was a girls watch and scarf just sitting there. How rude of him. Sitting there...	Vickif	7	1094	Feb 20, 2011 by Mattie
	A Start (Preview) It's been so hard for me to know just where to begin. I had decided in December (I think) to begin going to Al-anon as hubby said he was going to begin AA meetingss. We were gone for a week of vacation, and a week after we returned our youngest son committed suicie at 23. I was fortunate to find this site a few w...	Sandy_K	4	617	Feb 19, 2011 by Peggy7
	unmanageable is exactly the right word... (Preview) for my life lately. The bills are never ending - I manage all the finances alone despite many offers to share the responsibility w/my AH. The parenting - yup, got it. The kids have been having a really hard time lately, they sense that things are not right, they pick up on my anxiety, add to that snow da...	newleaf66	4	1236	Feb 19, 2011 by Debilyn
	finally at an open AA meeting! (Preview) I finally got my message across at an open AA meeting last night. I can't say all I shared but I think I opened some of the AAs eyes there. I guess what I needed was a captive audience & I got it! I can't say that I don't get through at an alanon meeting but they are so small & I missed my monthly big ala...	Hoot Nanny	1	787	Feb 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Message Form John (Preview) MIP Family FYI I just received a phone call from John. He told me to relay to everyone that it will be 2:00 pm est tomorrow (Sunday) before the video he posted today can be uploaded on the MIP site due to technical problems. He has no computer available today. He said he is so far out in the country toda...	RLC	0	614	Feb 19, 2011 by RLC
	She's Newly Recovering, and Wants to Move In (Preview) So my sometimes in-recovery girlfriend seems to have turned over a new leaf since last week. Last Friday she was so drunk she ended up in the hospital (0.5 BAC, no that's not a typo). Her bloodwork showed liver problems. Having a bunch of usually jaded ER docs tell her that her "normal" level...	B_L	10	868	Feb 19, 2011 by Tracy
	Working on myself but today I miss him (Preview) My ABF sent me a text two weeks ago....it said I don't want any contact with you. We had been having problems and going back and fourth about a lot. It started at thanksgiving. He has been sober for three years so he says. He has become addicted to poker. We hadn't seen each other in two weeks when I got...	parfait624	2	857	Feb 19, 2011 by Tracy
	Question About Meetings (Preview) I found a meeting in my area but I won't be able to go until next week. I'm a little nervous because I don't know what to expect but I know I really need to go. I read some of the FAQs on the website and read the 12 steps and some of the meeting materials. I am a little confused though. A lot of the stuff I read s...	delhommefan	3	679	Feb 19, 2011 by Mobirdie
	So, he's left me... (Preview) This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. I have started recognizing my severity of codependency. I mentioned this to my AB, and he was completely confused by the fact that I have been blaming him for months and months because of my anger, depression, etc., and now I am blaming myself. I tried to e...	faith84	6	837	Feb 19, 2011 by pinkchip
	Nick News Program About children of alcoholism (Preview) http://www.nick.com/videos/clip/kids-of-alcoholics-full.html	david62	2	831	Feb 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Resentments, and how do I let them go? (Preview) How do you go from saying out loud "I forgive you" to actually being able to let the thing go? Maybe it's different for each of us, but I'm really at a loss on how to do this. Some of you may have read my post about my ABF and his flirtatious texting with his ex (also in AA). I've reached the point whe...	Rhivenn	9	983	Feb 18, 2011 by maresie
	Making choices (Preview) I've been working in a dysfunctional, chaotic, completely unfair environment for 18 months. My contract is up in 5 months. For those 18 months I've spent a lot of time resenting, cataloguing the problems which are numerous and daily. With 5 months to go on the contract I've switched my energy to lo...	maresie	2	592	Feb 18, 2011 by hotrod
	wait and see game (Preview) Well as I posted before. I wrote my AH a letter and did give it to him. It went surprisely well. He was not angry, but did appear a little worried. We talked for a while I stood to my guns and am expecting him to join AA or some other support group and begin the process. I do understand that he can't do this for me...	kari419	1	606	Feb 18, 2011 by Bettina
	Fiancé has been sober for 1 year, is it too soon to get married this spring? (Preview) My fiancé had been sober for 13 years when he relapsed during 4 months during 2009-10. He got sober again last February, and just celebrated his 1 year anniversary this week. I'm so proud of him, but should I be insecure about his recovery? During this past year we relocated from NYC back to our hometown...	Loonareclipse	12	1220	Feb 18, 2011 by Mattie
	Driving in the Dark.... (Preview) The Following was not Writting by Me, but found it very Enlightening... I did "Alter" a Few Words just so it would fit our Forum... It Came from a Veteran Friends Article... Hope you all Enjoy it as Much as I did.... I've always thought that I Could get through just about Anything if HP would t...	Jozie	2	1194	Feb 18, 2011 by stariana
	My Story-- Broke my engagement to ACOA (Preview) This is my second post on here. I wrote on here last year in January about my ACOA fiance who was abusive to me, and also my ACOA Mom. I am going to write everything that has happened to me recently. I hope it helps someone in the way thatI have been helped by reading people's stories. Here goes I left an...	Ferny	5	2136	Feb 18, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	It works! (Preview) AH and I had a very long talk today about a lot of things. Insecurities from our past, fears, anxieties about the future, and of course about drinking. It was very heartfelt and tearful on both ends. At the end of the conversation he says to me, "I was dreading how you were going to treat me after m...	ilovedogs	2	731	Feb 18, 2011 by faith84
	Had a hard day (Preview) I had a hard day today. My A bf kept texting me while I was working, I didn't answer because I can't at work. After about 10 texts, I checked the phone. BF wanted to borrow $20 for food since he has nothing to eat and said he was coming to my workplace. I told him I didn't have cash and I would talk to him after wo...	Honeypie	8	875	Feb 18, 2011 by pinkchip
	group inventory (Preview) Is there a recommended interval between group inventories? The manual states periodic intervals. I was under the impression it was every 2-3 years. Is it necessary to ask all the questions in the G8 form? Our group did an inventory 3 years ago and found it exceptionally helpful. We learned a great...	elpis	4	1436	Feb 18, 2011 by hotrod
	Hi. New here. (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new and have been reading some of the posts here. I see that my story isn't much different than the rest here but I feel very alone right now. I have been with my boyfriend, sometimes fiancé for 11 years. We have a six year old son together. I think, I hope, I have finally reached the end of my...	Vickif	4	614	Feb 18, 2011 by athabascan indian
	Trying To Crawl Out...... (Preview) of the rabbit hole I have fell in. I have been struggling for about 6 mos with unbearable FEAR, the type of fear that makes you sit straight up in bed at 2:00 A.M., the type that puts your stomach into a knot, I have lost about thirty pounds during the last four months because I have no desire to eat. I just ha...	DreamsOver	5	891	Feb 17, 2011 by Jerry F
	Made a decision (Preview) I have posted about my AH and how confused I have been regarding what to do next. Well I have decided that no matter how much I love my H I love my kids more. Period. So I wrote him a letter telling him how I feel about his drinking, past problems that probably contribute to his drinking, and that I am not goin...	kari419	5	589	Feb 17, 2011 by canadianguy
	learning to self focus (Preview) I'm just learning to self focus and boy its tough. Had a relapse today after my AH behaviors were odd. i began obsessing. Ugg...didnt do so well. I prayed and prayed and prayed but I dont feel as if I get relief until I know for sure. Geez....to many broken promises....someone said in another post the...	athabascan indian	4	732	Feb 17, 2011 by athabascan indian
	Step 6 is posted on the step work board (Preview) Step Work Board	Linistea	1	625	Feb 17, 2011 by hotrod
	I'm really excited to attend my meeting!!! (Preview) I decided this week that I wanted to find one and I did. Unfortunately I cannot go until next Wednesday due to being out of town and night I have my daughter. I am child free next Wednesday and I am counting down the days. I don't know what to expect...I don't even know if I will say anything but reading t...	delhommefan	2	684	Feb 17, 2011 by Jerry F
	24 hours later (Preview) Today A BF text this morning to ask if I had his glasses and to complain to me about his landlord. I told him I would look for his glasses and ignored the comment about the landlord because I know he wants me to feel sorry for him since I told him he had to leave my house yesterday. We text back and forth a couple...	Honeypie	9	1163	Feb 17, 2011 by pinkchip
	I've realized my co-dependency, probably should NOT have told him! (Preview) So, after months and months of continuously losing myself, fighting depression, anger, sadness, etc., because of my agony and obsession for my boyfriend's addiction, I finally see the light. I picked up a book for myself (two days ago) called Codependent No More, and was ABSOLUTELY blown away at...	faith84	9	771	Feb 17, 2011 by pinkchip
	How Is it??? (Preview) I was Just Sitting Here thinking... Trying to Pin Point what "Triggers" me on a Daily Basis, wihle in my day, sometimes they are Triggers of Growth, "Ah Moments" I have Triggers of Guilt "Daily", triggers of "Intimacy" Or Lack there of... Growth, I Can be...	Jozie	4	629	Feb 16, 2011 by danielle0516
	Step 1 lightbulb moment today (Preview) Hi, I've been thinking alot about step one and journaling alot trying to straighten out my thoughts and ideas. Sometimes when i just let my thoughts come out on the page eventually I will begin to make sense (and some times I don't ) Anyway, I realized today that although I can't say my life is unmanageab...	Aimee	2	876	Feb 16, 2011 by hotrod
	Trusting again.... How do I stop worrying? (Preview) I am having a hard time trusting my ABF. I think the moment he is alone he will pick up a drink or visit the dealer. How do I trust him with money when he has been irresponsible and spent his money all on alcohol/ drugs? He has stolen money out of my purse. He had lied to me. He has manipulated me. I've tried to l...	suave75	8	1071	Feb 16, 2011 by suave75
	Odd contrast (Preview) It seems strangely ironic (although completely sensible) that the main focus in Alanon is to put the focus on yourself, while one of the main points in AA is to stop thinking about yourself so much. How would one achieve balance working both programs? Anyone got suggestions?	pinkchip	7	775	Feb 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	New to this (Preview) Hello All, I am new to this type of group. Unfortunately I'm not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband and I have been together for 7 years with two small boys. I husband is a good man with a very caring heart. He does not drink all the time and due to this it was difficult for me to convince that he was act...	kari419	3	681	Feb 16, 2011 by ilovedogs
	DETACHING WITH LOVE! (Preview) Hi, My question is how do I detach with love from my 27 yr. old son? My son spent 3 months in rehab. and then I thought he was on his way to changing his life and getting on track to be a stable and sober individual. So I allowed him to live with me and my husband for 7 1/2 months until I couldn't take i...	roxygirl	4	1188	Feb 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Please help me understand (Preview) My boyfriend of 2 years is an alcoholic. He was in recovery when I first met him but has been slowing sliding backward drinking first 1 quart of beer after work then 2 then 3. He has had many problems in his life created by drinking. He lost his job at the end of October and has not been able to find work. I hav...	Honeypie	6	879	Feb 16, 2011 by Honeypie
	a question about amends (Preview) Hello, I was married for 11 years to an abusive volitile addict. A few years ago, I divorced him. During the relationship he sexually assaulted me on more than one occasion. He currently works for a prominant treatment facility as an addictions counselor. Though I am within my rights to prosecute hi...	arinna599	16	1368	Feb 16, 2011 by clep
	Nervous (Preview) My exah gets out of prison today. The last couple years has been a breeze of concentrating on myself and my program. I am trying not to project. I am having a hard time trying to either not feel or accept feeling this dread that I am about to be tested in so many different ways. Any tool suggestions and ESH...	Jennifer	4	731	Feb 16, 2011 by abbyal
	what do you feel glad about today? (Preview) Even though I'm frightened about challenges in grad school, I'm grateful I have the chance to do interesting projects that I care about. I am also grateful for those in my life (I am lucky to have a loving and supportive partner, friends, family and faculty advisers) who will accept and support me even...	Imogen421	6	797	Feb 16, 2011 by pineapple
	I'am Back (Preview) It has started again. My A has been so good that I knew that something was about to happen or explode. He has not had a drink in one month and I told him how proud of him I was and that he can beat this with some help. To make a long story short, he started to drink again every night just a little but now it is bac...	weggie	4	676	Feb 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	I've lost all my marbles (Preview) Well on my journey... could not even walk this morn. Like my friend told me, u have used up all the beans in your jar, I said no, i lost all my marbles. She had to come get me, rush me to doc. I had no strength to fight it. Plus I am sick and WANT to get better. doc was great. friend went in with me. All the stuff you a...	Debilyn	9	782	Feb 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Set the boundary (Preview) After much thought about the situation, I let my A know that I will no longer live with an A that is not in active recovery. Even though he is physically sober, he is mentally not. I let him know it is not in my best interest to live with the progressive insanity that has seeped into our lives and either the i...	clep	5	657	Feb 15, 2011 by clep
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.