Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Rhivenn · Rhivenn

How do you go from saying out loud "I forgive you" to actually being able to let the thing go? Maybe it's different for each of us, but I'm really at a loss on how to do this. Some of you may have read my post about my ABF and his flirtatious texting with his ex (also in AA). I've reached the point whe...

maresie · maresie

I've been working in a dysfunctional, chaotic, completely unfair environment for 18 months. My contract is up in 5 months. For those 18 months I've spent a lot of time resenting, cataloguing the problems which are numerous and daily. With 5 months to go on the contract I've switched my energy to lo...

kari419 · kari419

Well as I posted before. I wrote my AH a letter and did give it to him. It went surprisely well. He was not angry, but did appear a little worried. We talked for a while I stood to my guns and am expecting him to join AA or some other support group and begin the process. I do understand that he can't do this for me...

Loonareclipse · Loonareclipse

My fiancé had been sober for 13 years when he relapsed during 4 months during 2009-10. He got sober again last February, and just celebrated his 1 year anniversary this week. I'm so proud of him, but should I be insecure about his recovery? During this past year we relocated from NYC back to our hometown...

Jozie · Jozie

The Following was not Writting by Me, but found it very Enlightening... I did "Alter" a Few Words just so it would fit our Forum... It Came from a Veteran Friends Article... Hope you all Enjoy it as Much as I did.... I've always thought that I Could get through just about Anything if HP would t...

Ferny · Ferny

This is my second post on here. I wrote on here last year in January about my ACOA fiance who was abusive to me, and also my ACOA Mom. I am going to write everything that has happened to me recently. I hope it helps someone in the way thatI have been helped by reading people's stories. Here goes I left an...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

AH and I had a very long talk today about a lot of things. Insecurities from our past, fears, anxieties about the future, and of course about drinking. It was very heartfelt and tearful on both ends. At the end of the conversation he says to me, "I was dreading how you were going to treat me after m...

Honeypie · Honeypie

I had a hard day today. My A bf kept texting me while I was working, I didn't answer because I can't at work. After about 10 texts, I checked the phone. BF wanted to borrow $20 for food since he has nothing to eat and said he was coming to my workplace. I told him I didn't have cash and I would talk to him after wo...

elpis · elpis

Is there a recommended interval between group inventories? The manual states periodic intervals. I was under the impression it was every 2-3 years. Is it necessary to ask all the questions in the G8 form? Our group did an inventory 3 years ago and found it exceptionally helpful. We learned a great...

Vickif · Vickif

Hi everyone. I'm new and have been reading some of the posts here. I see that my story isn't much different than the rest here but I feel very alone right now. I have been with my boyfriend, sometimes fiancé for 11 years. We have a six year old son together. I think, I hope, I have finally reached the end of my...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

of the rabbit hole I have fell in. I have been struggling for about 6 mos with unbearable FEAR, the type of fear that makes you sit straight up in bed at 2:00 A.M., the type that puts your stomach into a knot, I have lost about thirty pounds during the last four months because I have no desire to eat. I just ha...

kari419 · kari419

I have posted about my AH and how confused I have been regarding what to do next. Well I have decided that no matter how much I love my H I love my kids more. Period. So I wrote him a letter telling him how I feel about his drinking, past problems that probably contribute to his drinking, and that I am not goin...

athabascan indian · athabascan indian

I'm just learning to self focus and boy its tough. Had a relapse today after my AH behaviors were odd. i began obsessing. Ugg...didnt do so well. I prayed and prayed and prayed but I dont feel as if I get relief until I know for sure. Geez....to many broken promises....someone said in another post the...

Linistea · Linistea

Step Work Board

delhommefan · delhommefan

I decided this week that I wanted to find one and I did. Unfortunately I cannot go until next Wednesday due to being out of town and night I have my daughter. I am child free next Wednesday and I am counting down the days. I don't know what to expect...I don't even know if I will say anything but reading t...

Honeypie · Honeypie

Today A BF text this morning to ask if I had his glasses and to complain to me about his landlord. I told him I would look for his glasses and ignored the comment about the landlord because I know he wants me to feel sorry for him since I told him he had to leave my house yesterday. We text back and forth a couple...

faith84 · faith84

So, after months and months of continuously losing myself, fighting depression, anger, sadness, etc., because of my agony and obsession for my boyfriend's addiction, I finally see the light. I picked up a book for myself (two days ago) called Codependent No More, and was ABSOLUTELY blown away at...

Jozie · Jozie

I was Just Sitting Here thinking... Trying to Pin Point what "Triggers" me on a Daily Basis, wihle in my day, sometimes they are Triggers of Growth, "Ah Moments" I have Triggers of Guilt "Daily", triggers of "Intimacy" Or Lack there of... Growth, I Can be...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi, I've been thinking alot about step one and journaling alot trying to straighten out my thoughts and ideas. Sometimes when i just let my thoughts come out on the page eventually I will begin to make sense (and some times I don't ) Anyway, I realized today that although I can't say my life is unmanageab...

suave75 · suave75

I am having a hard time trusting my ABF. I think the moment he is alone he will pick up a drink or visit the dealer. How do I trust him with money when he has been irresponsible and spent his money all on alcohol/ drugs? He has stolen money out of my purse. He had lied to me. He has manipulated me. I've tried to l...

pinkchip · pinkchip

It seems strangely ironic (although completely sensible) that the main focus in Alanon is to put the focus on yourself, while one of the main points in AA is to stop thinking about yourself so much. How would one achieve balance working both programs? Anyone got suggestions?

kari419 · kari419

Hello All, I am new to this type of group. Unfortunately I'm not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband and I have been together for 7 years with two small boys. I husband is a good man with a very caring heart. He does not drink all the time and due to this it was difficult for me to convince that he was act...

roxygirl · roxygirl

Hi, My question is how do I detach with love from my 27 yr. old son? My son spent 3 months in rehab. and then I thought he was on his way to changing his life and getting on track to be a stable and sober individual. So I allowed him to live with me and my husband for 7 1/2 months until I couldn't take i...

Honeypie · Honeypie

My boyfriend of 2 years is an alcoholic. He was in recovery when I first met him but has been slowing sliding backward drinking first 1 quart of beer after work then 2 then 3. He has had many problems in his life created by drinking. He lost his job at the end of October and has not been able to find work. I hav...

arinna599 · arinna599

Hello, I was married for 11 years to an abusive volitile addict. A few years ago, I divorced him. During the relationship he sexually assaulted me on more than one occasion. He currently works for a prominant treatment facility as an addictions counselor. Though I am within my rights to prosecute hi...

Jennifer · Jennifer

My exah gets out of prison today. The last couple years has been a breeze of concentrating on myself and my program. I am trying not to project. I am having a hard time trying to either not feel or accept feeling this dread that I am about to be tested in so many different ways. Any tool suggestions and ESH...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Even though I'm frightened about challenges in grad school, I'm grateful I have the chance to do interesting projects that I care about. I am also grateful for those in my life (I am lucky to have a loving and supportive partner, friends, family and faculty advisers) who will accept and support me even...

weggie · weggie

It has started again. My A has been so good that I knew that something was about to happen or explode. He has not had a drink in one month and I told him how proud of him I was and that he can beat this with some help. To make a long story short, he started to drink again every night just a little but now it is bac...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Well on my journey... could not even walk this morn. Like my friend told me, u have used up all the beans in your jar, I said no, i lost all my marbles. She had to come get me, rush me to doc. I had no strength to fight it. Plus I am sick and WANT to get better. doc was great. friend went in with me. All the stuff you a...

clep · clep

After much thought about the situation, I let my A know that I will no longer live with an A that is not in active recovery. Even though he is physically sober, he is mentally not. I let him know it is not in my best interest to live with the progressive insanity that has seeped into our lives and either the i...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Last night AH and I were talking about how I felt about his renewed interest in drinking after 15 years of being sober. As I expressed my position, he grew concerned for me, not for himself and he said he'd get rid of all the alcohol in the house. Now, here was my response: NO, don't do that for me. I don't...

roxygirl · roxygirl

Hi, What are the Al-anon meetings all about? I know in AA you talk about keeping sober and practice a program for sobriety. So what do you learn in Al-anon meetings? Thank you, Roxygirl

RLC · RLC

I want to wish all of you a "Happy Valentine's Day". Enjoy your day ladies. Take care of yourself first..........And most important........ Do something special just for "YOU" today !!!!!!!! Here's A Big "Valentine's Day" HUG, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Monda...

Lizzie Hay · Lizzie Hay

Morning everyone. Just want to pop in for some support as my partner is an alcoholic. :( Anyway. I'll tell you a bit about us. I am in my late 20's and him in his late 30's. I live with my parents and he live with his. It's been like that since we met 5 years ago (his boozing wasn't obvious or so bad back then). I...

delhommefan · delhommefan

Ok maybe I shouldn't use the word crazy to refer to my mom but I am.... Over the weekend my parents very graciously invited my daughter and I to spend the weekend with them at the beach. It was a fun trip and my daughter had a GREAT time...she absolutely adores her grandparents. But the trip was rather de...

faith84 · faith84

I just can't seem to stop. I think about him and his habit constantly. I have read every book I can find on addiction and different effects from different drugs. I am constantly online reading sites on drug abuse, forums and stories. I know and understand that I cannot help him if he does not want to help h...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Hi there,Things have been going well in my relationship with Alcoholic fiance. He has been making an effort to be sober. And also being very supportive of me with recent health issue I've been frightened about. Tomorrow we are supposed to go away for a night at a hotel for Valentine's day.Now, he has ju...

jadebangle09 · jadebangle09

I am new to this website and forum. My husband did not drink THAT much when we met...I would have called it socially, but then again, I was young (still am), naive (perhaps still am as well) and probably too in love to notice. After we had a baby almost a year and a half ago, his drinking increased and incr...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi, I'm very new to all of this so please be gentle with me . I am just starting to learn about recovery and exploring step one. I agree 100% that I am powerless over alcohol, but I really wouldn't say that my life is "unmanageable". Sure, I have ups and downs just like everyone else, but I have to...

brook2 · brook2

I do not know where to start... I have entered in a relationship with a sober alcoholic (8years sober). After almost three years living together, I have ended it, 4 days ago. .....The first 4 months was a fairytail...Now, I feel so empty and just like my life was sucked out of me. I have never lived wi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I keep telling myself: I can't control this. I can't control him. I didn't cause this. You all know the drill but none of it is giving me any comfort. I am so d*mn angry; at him, at my dad, at society(for whatever reason, I don't even know right now, LOL), and even at myself because it was my decision to s...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I gotta puncture the airtight bag around this resentment and then turn it over again and again. My wife and I were shopping for floor tiles at the local HomeDepot Store and in the same space was another guy and his partner? wife? spouse...whoever and there were kinda sorta looking at the same stuff as we...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Happy Valentine's Day all - thank you for being here! I've been checking in every day and it is helping to keep me sane . My valentine wrote in his card that he would "try my best to not let you and the kids down". Made me sad. He is trying to moderate his drinking and I feel like I'm waiting for...

Shelly · Shelly

Have made the decision to get A to move out as our situation has gotten not very healthy for us or our four children. Now need the strength to carry my decision through, no excuses even though there are many I could use. I know my children are counting on me to be there for them and that A isn't going to realis...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Sorry just need to have a bit of a rant. I'm a very grateful member of al-anon and working on the steps. hmmm. I'm not good at the moment. I've been off work for the last 5 months with stress, anxiety and depression - my ex wife made a load of false allegations last year and it resulted in having to go back to th...

gingermason · gingermason

I have been married to a very high functioning alcoholic for 22 years. He has never missed work or been late. He makes a very healthy salary and pays all the bills on time. He is military, never had a DUI or any type of negative attention from his drinking. But, by 8 or 9 pm he is often no longer "h...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi Everyone. I'm so happy to be here. Two days ago I found out my husband has been drinking (and hiding it) after 12 years of being sober. He has gotten drunk on several occasions, and I had no clue. He was the designated driver a few times and drove myself and our friends home completly drunk. He put our liv...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

Hello, I have been on here before, but never been to actual treatment, I just wanted to share what I have written about my AH. "I feel selfish sometimes for being sad about my life, because so many people have it worse. There is starvation, death, murders and shattered dreams, but no matter how mu...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

So, I work nights/weekends and in order to make my kids safe I sent them to "Nana's" tonight as my AH was insistant on going out (which means drinking and driving). My middle child (9) was really distressed and kept calling my cell. I may have to give up my job to give the kids the support they ne...

messedupmom · messedupmom

I am married for 15 years to the love of my life....or so I thought. He is sober 10 months. The last episode early this year was my last straw. I asked for a separation. However, because of our 3 small children we have continued to live together. It has been terrible. I'm sad every day. I know that I nee...

bekind · bekind

I have been reading the posts here and it is really helpful. I have a 22 year old child that is an alcoholic. There is a court date Monday and I am sure my child will be going to jail. My head tells me this is not a bad thing, but my heart is really struggling with it. We have enabled the drinking by paying la...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, my AH hasn't been drinking much at all and things have been pretty normal around here. That is, until today. I know he likes to drink while I am gone on weekends taking our son to tennis tournaments. I came home early because our son lost his second match and the first thing he says is, "you're...

chelarenee · chelarenee

I am in crises mode. I married a wonderful man in October- since he is from Mexico, we decided to move back to his home town, a huge city called Guadalajara. We have been together for 2 years. We have been here since December, and 3 weeks ago my husband left and started using crack. He was gone for one day, th...

Cross610 · Cross610

Hi everyone,As of late, I have been doing a lot of al-anon reading, working on making boundaries and NOT ultimatums, and accepting my powerlessness over my ABF's addiction. I am working on, and improving in my ability to step back from situations and not have a knee-jerk reaction to try and save him fr...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been awhile since I have posted. I am still traveling this journey towards welllness. But today I am very nervous about my mental health. I did get a chance to talk to my counselor but not until after my husband ended up in the hospital on Sunday. He is doing OK but we really had a major scare over his...

Evian · Evian

Today was pretty much like any other day. AH started drinking by 11 am. I just went on with my day, let him do whatever like usual.. Later on in the afternoon with our 8yr old daughter sitting there at the kitchen table, he says to me.. " tell me the truth.. are we fighting a losing battle? can we survi...

Hayes · Hayes

I am so frustrated this morning. What in the hell is he doing again? Okay so its two days after my f2f meeting and what is sticking in my head is the first part of step 1. So I am sitting here trying to remind myself I am powerless. There is nothing I can say or do that's going to change what's happening right no...

B_L · B_L

My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and while she has been in recovery lately, she slipped into a pretty bad relapse this last week or so... I'm sure I'm enabling her to drink, but I don't have enough perspective on things to see how I'm doing it. So let me run down our usual daily routine for y'all, and hop...

swisfun1 · swisfun1

First time writing here but I really need some extra support. My boyfriend has been relapsing for the past year and is now at my house. For the past few days he has been drinking to the point of passing out for a few hours then waking up to drink more. I am emotionally exhausted. I keep telling myself th...

SarahRock · SarahRock

Hi, I'm very conerned about my husband and his drinking. I'm not sure if it should be classified as problem drinking, but it's becoming a problem for me. I worry that my perception is sweked since I don't drink at all - maybe I'm overreacting and have no frame of reference? I don't know. I do know that my...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Resentments, and how do I let them go? (Preview) How do you go from saying out loud "I forgive you" to actually being able to let the thing go? Maybe it's different for each of us, but I'm really at a loss on how to do this. Some of you may have read my post about my ABF and his flirtatious texting with his ex (also in AA). I've reached the point whe...	Rhivenn	9	928	Feb 18, 2011 by maresie
	Making choices (Preview) I've been working in a dysfunctional, chaotic, completely unfair environment for 18 months. My contract is up in 5 months. For those 18 months I've spent a lot of time resenting, cataloguing the problems which are numerous and daily. With 5 months to go on the contract I've switched my energy to lo...	maresie	2	543	Feb 18, 2011 by hotrod
	wait and see game (Preview) Well as I posted before. I wrote my AH a letter and did give it to him. It went surprisely well. He was not angry, but did appear a little worried. We talked for a while I stood to my guns and am expecting him to join AA or some other support group and begin the process. I do understand that he can't do this for me...	kari419	1	556	Feb 18, 2011 by Bettina
	Fiancé has been sober for 1 year, is it too soon to get married this spring? (Preview) My fiancé had been sober for 13 years when he relapsed during 4 months during 2009-10. He got sober again last February, and just celebrated his 1 year anniversary this week. I'm so proud of him, but should I be insecure about his recovery? During this past year we relocated from NYC back to our hometown...	Loonareclipse	12	1169	Feb 18, 2011 by Mattie
	Driving in the Dark.... (Preview) The Following was not Writting by Me, but found it very Enlightening... I did "Alter" a Few Words just so it would fit our Forum... It Came from a Veteran Friends Article... Hope you all Enjoy it as Much as I did.... I've always thought that I Could get through just about Anything if HP would t...	Jozie	2	1144	Feb 18, 2011 by stariana
	My Story-- Broke my engagement to ACOA (Preview) This is my second post on here. I wrote on here last year in January about my ACOA fiance who was abusive to me, and also my ACOA Mom. I am going to write everything that has happened to me recently. I hope it helps someone in the way thatI have been helped by reading people's stories. Here goes I left an...	Ferny	5	2071	Feb 18, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	It works! (Preview) AH and I had a very long talk today about a lot of things. Insecurities from our past, fears, anxieties about the future, and of course about drinking. It was very heartfelt and tearful on both ends. At the end of the conversation he says to me, "I was dreading how you were going to treat me after m...	ilovedogs	2	687	Feb 18, 2011 by faith84
	Had a hard day (Preview) I had a hard day today. My A bf kept texting me while I was working, I didn't answer because I can't at work. After about 10 texts, I checked the phone. BF wanted to borrow $20 for food since he has nothing to eat and said he was coming to my workplace. I told him I didn't have cash and I would talk to him after wo...	Honeypie	8	821	Feb 18, 2011 by pinkchip
	group inventory (Preview) Is there a recommended interval between group inventories? The manual states periodic intervals. I was under the impression it was every 2-3 years. Is it necessary to ask all the questions in the G8 form? Our group did an inventory 3 years ago and found it exceptionally helpful. We learned a great...	elpis	4	1279	Feb 18, 2011 by hotrod
	Hi. New here. (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new and have been reading some of the posts here. I see that my story isn't much different than the rest here but I feel very alone right now. I have been with my boyfriend, sometimes fiancé for 11 years. We have a six year old son together. I think, I hope, I have finally reached the end of my...	Vickif	4	570	Feb 18, 2011 by athabascan indian
	Trying To Crawl Out...... (Preview) of the rabbit hole I have fell in. I have been struggling for about 6 mos with unbearable FEAR, the type of fear that makes you sit straight up in bed at 2:00 A.M., the type that puts your stomach into a knot, I have lost about thirty pounds during the last four months because I have no desire to eat. I just ha...	DreamsOver	5	837	Feb 17, 2011 by Jerry F
	Made a decision (Preview) I have posted about my AH and how confused I have been regarding what to do next. Well I have decided that no matter how much I love my H I love my kids more. Period. So I wrote him a letter telling him how I feel about his drinking, past problems that probably contribute to his drinking, and that I am not goin...	kari419	5	541	Feb 17, 2011 by canadianguy
	learning to self focus (Preview) I'm just learning to self focus and boy its tough. Had a relapse today after my AH behaviors were odd. i began obsessing. Ugg...didnt do so well. I prayed and prayed and prayed but I dont feel as if I get relief until I know for sure. Geez....to many broken promises....someone said in another post the...	athabascan indian	4	668	Feb 17, 2011 by athabascan indian
	Step 6 is posted on the step work board (Preview) Step Work Board	Linistea	1	568	Feb 17, 2011 by hotrod
	I'm really excited to attend my meeting!!! (Preview) I decided this week that I wanted to find one and I did. Unfortunately I cannot go until next Wednesday due to being out of town and night I have my daughter. I am child free next Wednesday and I am counting down the days. I don't know what to expect...I don't even know if I will say anything but reading t...	delhommefan	2	638	Feb 17, 2011 by Jerry F
	24 hours later (Preview) Today A BF text this morning to ask if I had his glasses and to complain to me about his landlord. I told him I would look for his glasses and ignored the comment about the landlord because I know he wants me to feel sorry for him since I told him he had to leave my house yesterday. We text back and forth a couple...	Honeypie	9	1078	Feb 17, 2011 by pinkchip
	I've realized my co-dependency, probably should NOT have told him! (Preview) So, after months and months of continuously losing myself, fighting depression, anger, sadness, etc., because of my agony and obsession for my boyfriend's addiction, I finally see the light. I picked up a book for myself (two days ago) called Codependent No More, and was ABSOLUTELY blown away at...	faith84	9	722	Feb 17, 2011 by pinkchip
	How Is it??? (Preview) I was Just Sitting Here thinking... Trying to Pin Point what "Triggers" me on a Daily Basis, wihle in my day, sometimes they are Triggers of Growth, "Ah Moments" I have Triggers of Guilt "Daily", triggers of "Intimacy" Or Lack there of... Growth, I Can be...	Jozie	4	580	Feb 16, 2011 by danielle0516
	Step 1 lightbulb moment today (Preview) Hi, I've been thinking alot about step one and journaling alot trying to straighten out my thoughts and ideas. Sometimes when i just let my thoughts come out on the page eventually I will begin to make sense (and some times I don't ) Anyway, I realized today that although I can't say my life is unmanageab...	Aimee	2	823	Feb 16, 2011 by hotrod
	Trusting again.... How do I stop worrying? (Preview) I am having a hard time trusting my ABF. I think the moment he is alone he will pick up a drink or visit the dealer. How do I trust him with money when he has been irresponsible and spent his money all on alcohol/ drugs? He has stolen money out of my purse. He had lied to me. He has manipulated me. I've tried to l...	suave75	8	1015	Feb 16, 2011 by suave75
	Odd contrast (Preview) It seems strangely ironic (although completely sensible) that the main focus in Alanon is to put the focus on yourself, while one of the main points in AA is to stop thinking about yourself so much. How would one achieve balance working both programs? Anyone got suggestions?	pinkchip	7	726	Feb 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	New to this (Preview) Hello All, I am new to this type of group. Unfortunately I'm not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband and I have been together for 7 years with two small boys. I husband is a good man with a very caring heart. He does not drink all the time and due to this it was difficult for me to convince that he was act...	kari419	3	627	Feb 16, 2011 by ilovedogs
	DETACHING WITH LOVE! (Preview) Hi, My question is how do I detach with love from my 27 yr. old son? My son spent 3 months in rehab. and then I thought he was on his way to changing his life and getting on track to be a stable and sober individual. So I allowed him to live with me and my husband for 7 1/2 months until I couldn't take i...	roxygirl	4	1140	Feb 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Please help me understand (Preview) My boyfriend of 2 years is an alcoholic. He was in recovery when I first met him but has been slowing sliding backward drinking first 1 quart of beer after work then 2 then 3. He has had many problems in his life created by drinking. He lost his job at the end of October and has not been able to find work. I hav...	Honeypie	6	822	Feb 16, 2011 by Honeypie
	a question about amends (Preview) Hello, I was married for 11 years to an abusive volitile addict. A few years ago, I divorced him. During the relationship he sexually assaulted me on more than one occasion. He currently works for a prominant treatment facility as an addictions counselor. Though I am within my rights to prosecute hi...	arinna599	16	1314	Feb 16, 2011 by clep
	Nervous (Preview) My exah gets out of prison today. The last couple years has been a breeze of concentrating on myself and my program. I am trying not to project. I am having a hard time trying to either not feel or accept feeling this dread that I am about to be tested in so many different ways. Any tool suggestions and ESH...	Jennifer	4	679	Feb 16, 2011 by abbyal
	what do you feel glad about today? (Preview) Even though I'm frightened about challenges in grad school, I'm grateful I have the chance to do interesting projects that I care about. I am also grateful for those in my life (I am lucky to have a loving and supportive partner, friends, family and faculty advisers) who will accept and support me even...	Imogen421	6	749	Feb 16, 2011 by pineapple
	I'am Back (Preview) It has started again. My A has been so good that I knew that something was about to happen or explode. He has not had a drink in one month and I told him how proud of him I was and that he can beat this with some help. To make a long story short, he started to drink again every night just a little but now it is bac...	weggie	4	620	Feb 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	I've lost all my marbles (Preview) Well on my journey... could not even walk this morn. Like my friend told me, u have used up all the beans in your jar, I said no, i lost all my marbles. She had to come get me, rush me to doc. I had no strength to fight it. Plus I am sick and WANT to get better. doc was great. friend went in with me. All the stuff you a...	Debilyn	9	733	Feb 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Set the boundary (Preview) After much thought about the situation, I let my A know that I will no longer live with an A that is not in active recovery. Even though he is physically sober, he is mentally not. I let him know it is not in my best interest to live with the progressive insanity that has seeped into our lives and either the i...	clep	5	609	Feb 15, 2011 by clep
	I said the stupidest thing (Preview) Last night AH and I were talking about how I felt about his renewed interest in drinking after 15 years of being sober. As I expressed my position, he grew concerned for me, not for himself and he said he'd get rid of all the alcohol in the house. Now, here was my response: NO, don't do that for me. I don't...	ilovedogs	8	786	Feb 15, 2011 by Bettina
	QUESTION? (Preview) Hi, What are the Al-anon meetings all about? I know in AA you talk about keeping sober and practice a program for sobriety. So what do you learn in Al-anon meetings? Thank you, Roxygirl	roxygirl	4	570	Feb 15, 2011 by Mandy123
	To All The Ladies Of MIP (Preview) I want to wish all of you a "Happy Valentine's Day". Enjoy your day ladies. Take care of yourself first..........And most important........ Do something special just for "YOU" today !!!!!!!! Here's A Big "Valentine's Day" HUG, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Monda...	RLC	10	1005	Feb 15, 2011 by Jerry F
	Hi, newbie here (Preview) Morning everyone. Just want to pop in for some support as my partner is an alcoholic. :( Anyway. I'll tell you a bit about us. I am in my late 20's and him in his late 30's. I live with my parents and he live with his. It's been like that since we met 5 years ago (his boozing wasn't obvious or so bad back then). I...	Lizzie Hay	5	582	Feb 15, 2011 by stephaniej
	Am I The Crazy One??? (Preview) Ok maybe I shouldn't use the word crazy to refer to my mom but I am.... Over the weekend my parents very graciously invited my daughter and I to spend the weekend with them at the beach. It was a fun trip and my daughter had a GREAT time...she absolutely adores her grandparents. But the trip was rather de...	delhommefan	4	726	Feb 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	I am addicted to his addiction (Preview) I just can't seem to stop. I think about him and his habit constantly. I have read every book I can find on addiction and different effects from different drugs. I am constantly online reading sites on drug abuse, forums and stories. I know and understand that I cannot help him if he does not want to help h...	faith84	7	1292	Feb 15, 2011 by faith84
	React or not, and how? (Preview) Hi there,Things have been going well in my relationship with Alcoholic fiance. He has been making an effort to be sober. And also being very supportive of me with recent health issue I've been frightened about. Tomorrow we are supposed to go away for a night at a hotel for Valentine's day.Now, he has ju...	Imogen421	3	669	Feb 15, 2011 by Imogen421
	AH wants to stop (Preview) I am new to this website and forum. My husband did not drink THAT much when we met...I would have called it socially, but then again, I was young (still am), naive (perhaps still am as well) and probably too in love to notice. After we had a baby almost a year and a half ago, his drinking increased and incr...	jadebangle09	7	660	Feb 15, 2011 by jadebangle09
	What does unmanageable mean to you? (Preview) Hi, I'm very new to all of this so please be gentle with me . I am just starting to learn about recovery and exploring step one. I agree 100% that I am powerless over alcohol, but I really wouldn't say that my life is "unmanageable". Sure, I have ups and downs just like everyone else, but I have to...	Aimee	6	3084	Feb 15, 2011 by Aimee
	Please need help (Preview) I do not know where to start... I have entered in a relationship with a sober alcoholic (8years sober). After almost three years living together, I have ended it, 4 days ago. .....The first 4 months was a fairytail...Now, I feel so empty and just like my life was sucked out of me. I have never lived wi...	brook2	3	694	Feb 14, 2011 by Merianne
	Why am I so angry? (Preview) I keep telling myself: I can't control this. I can't control him. I didn't cause this. You all know the drill but none of it is giving me any comfort. I am so d*mn angry; at him, at my dad, at society(for whatever reason, I don't even know right now, LOL), and even at myself because it was my decision to s...	ilovedogs	9	886	Feb 14, 2011 by RLC
	You just gotta be kidding!! (Preview) I gotta puncture the airtight bag around this resentment and then turn it over again and again. My wife and I were shopping for floor tiles at the local HomeDepot Store and in the same space was another guy and his partner? wife? spouse...whoever and there were kinda sorta looking at the same stuff as we...	Jerry F	15	684	Feb 14, 2011 by Jozie
	stay in the day (Preview) Happy Valentine's Day all - thank you for being here! I've been checking in every day and it is helping to keep me sane . My valentine wrote in his card that he would "try my best to not let you and the kids down". Made me sad. He is trying to moderate his drinking and I feel like I'm waiting for...	newleaf66	1	598	Feb 14, 2011 by hotrod
	Needing strength to carry through (Preview) Have made the decision to get A to move out as our situation has gotten not very healthy for us or our four children. Now need the strength to carry my decision through, no excuses even though there are many I could use. I know my children are counting on me to be there for them and that A isn't going to realis...	Shelly	3	1120	Feb 14, 2011 by Loupiness
	Unhappy, Lonely, Sad, Flat. (Preview) Sorry just need to have a bit of a rant. I'm a very grateful member of al-anon and working on the steps. hmmm. I'm not good at the moment. I've been off work for the last 5 months with stress, anxiety and depression - my ex wife made a load of false allegations last year and it resulted in having to go back to th...	jitsuka	4	1158	Feb 14, 2011 by jitsuka
	New and feeling lost (Preview) I have been married to a very high functioning alcoholic for 22 years. He has never missed work or been late. He makes a very healthy salary and pays all the bills on time. He is military, never had a DUI or any type of negative attention from his drinking. But, by 8 or 9 pm he is often no longer "h...	gingermason	7	745	Feb 14, 2011 by Jerry F
	New to Recovery After 12 Years of Denial. (Preview) Hi Everyone. I'm so happy to be here. Two days ago I found out my husband has been drinking (and hiding it) after 12 years of being sober. He has gotten drunk on several occasions, and I had no clue. He was the designated driver a few times and drove myself and our friends home completly drunk. He put our liv...	Aimee	1	904	Feb 14, 2011 by Jerry F
	what I have written about my AH and life (Preview) Hello, I have been on here before, but never been to actual treatment, I just wanted to share what I have written about my AH. "I feel selfish sometimes for being sad about my life, because so many people have it worse. There is starvation, death, murders and shattered dreams, but no matter how mu...	Rachel262612	7	744	Feb 13, 2011 by Rachel262612
	did you have to change your job? (Preview) So, I work nights/weekends and in order to make my kids safe I sent them to "Nana's" tonight as my AH was insistant on going out (which means drinking and driving). My middle child (9) was really distressed and kept calling my cell. I may have to give up my job to give the kids the support they ne...	newleaf66	6	713	Feb 13, 2011 by newleaf66
	Please help me (Preview) I am married for 15 years to the love of my life....or so I thought. He is sober 10 months. The last episode early this year was my last straw. I asked for a separation. However, because of our 3 small children we have continued to live together. It has been terrible. I'm sad every day. I know that I nee...	messedupmom	9	743	Feb 13, 2011 by messedupmom
	Dreading Monday (Preview) I have been reading the posts here and it is really helpful. I have a 22 year old child that is an alcoholic. There is a court date Monday and I am sure my child will be going to jail. My head tells me this is not a bad thing, but my heart is really struggling with it. We have enabled the drinking by paying la...	bekind	5	734	Feb 13, 2011 by Janin906
	Help me keep my mouth shut! (Preview) So, my AH hasn't been drinking much at all and things have been pretty normal around here. That is, until today. I know he likes to drink while I am gone on weekends taking our son to tennis tournaments. I came home early because our son lost his second match and the first thing he says is, "you're...	ilovedogs	16	1092	Feb 13, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Husband is an addict- help!!! (Preview) I am in crises mode. I married a wonderful man in October- since he is from Mexico, we decided to move back to his home town, a huge city called Guadalajara. We have been together for 2 years. We have been here since December, and 3 weeks ago my husband left and started using crack. He was gone for one day, th...	chelarenee	13	783	Feb 13, 2011 by chelarenee
	How to handle the sadness? Advice needed... (Preview) Hi everyone,As of late, I have been doing a lot of al-anon reading, working on making boundaries and NOT ultimatums, and accepting my powerlessness over my ABF's addiction. I am working on, and improving in my ability to step back from situations and not have a knee-jerk reaction to try and save him fr...	Cross610	9	5081	Feb 13, 2011 by gingermason
	seems like...just when things are getting better... (Preview) It has been awhile since I have posted. I am still traveling this journey towards welllness. But today I am very nervous about my mental health. I did get a chance to talk to my counselor but not until after my husband ended up in the hospital on Sunday. He is doing OK but we really had a major scare over his...	Hoot Nanny	2	560	Feb 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	Hoping I'm doing everything right (Preview) Today was pretty much like any other day. AH started drinking by 11 am. I just went on with my day, let him do whatever like usual.. Later on in the afternoon with our 8yr old daughter sitting there at the kitchen table, he says to me.. " tell me the truth.. are we fighting a losing battle? can we survi...	Evian	4	862	Feb 13, 2011 by White Rabbit
	I am powerless (Preview) I am so frustrated this morning. What in the hell is he doing again? Okay so its two days after my f2f meeting and what is sticking in my head is the first part of step 1. So I am sitting here trying to remind myself I am powerless. There is nothing I can say or do that's going to change what's happening right no...	Hayes	12	1068	Feb 13, 2011 by Myrtie
	I Want to Stop Enabling, But Don't Know How (Preview) My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and while she has been in recovery lately, she slipped into a pretty bad relapse this last week or so... I'm sure I'm enabling her to drink, but I don't have enough perspective on things to see how I'm doing it. So let me run down our usual daily routine for y'all, and hop...	B_L	9	1371	Feb 12, 2011 by glad lee
	need some guidance (Preview) First time writing here but I really need some extra support. My boyfriend has been relapsing for the past year and is now at my house. For the past few days he has been drinking to the point of passing out for a few hours then waking up to drink more. I am emotionally exhausted. I keep telling myself th...	swisfun1	3	756	Feb 12, 2011 by suave75
	New Here - Very Uncertain (Preview) Hi, I'm very conerned about my husband and his drinking. I'm not sure if it should be classified as problem drinking, but it's becoming a problem for me. I worry that my perception is sweked since I don't drink at all - maybe I'm overreacting and have no frame of reference? I don't know. I do know that my...	SarahRock	6	843	Feb 12, 2011 by suave75
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.