The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been thinking alot about step one and journaling alot trying to straighten out my thoughts and ideas. Sometimes when i just let my thoughts come out on the page eventually I will begin to make sense (and some times I don't )
Anyway, I realized today that although I can't say my life is unmanageable, I can say for sure that I gave up manageing my life somewhere along the way. I've been so busy manageing everyone else's life for them, including and especially my AH's life, I somehow forgot to manage my own. As a result I don't have a life outside my relationship with my husband and children. I have no close friends, no hobbies or passions, I have absolutely nothing that's just me. I don't even really know who I am outside of the relationship with my husband.
Just wanted to share this with everyone. It probably sounds like old news to alot of you but to be this realization really gets the wheels turning inside my head. I've been thinking about him for so long it is a novel idea to really think about me for once.
I have a suggestion. Tomorrow do something nice for yourself. Something special. The next day do it again, but so something different. Make yourself special for a change. Start taking care of Aimee first. She deserves it. Keep doing something special just for yourself everyday until it becomes a habit. Change your addiction from your AH to you.
I found out their really is a life out there when I stopped being consumed by the disease. I found out my AW could actually make it on her own without my help and interference. Gives me more time to take care of me. Try it you will like it, and the program gives you permission to do it.
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Wednesday 16th of February 2011 12:41:02 AM
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