Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

My crazies. They are starting to kick in. I'm writing this out so I can see on the computer screen which is the least crazy option and maybe get some ESH from others. My gut is screaming that my AH is lying, lying, lying. My gut knows AH is planning either to hook up with his affair partner or to hide out an...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Sometimes you just feel so broken. You give EVERYTHING to something that falls apart and find yourself standing in the ruins trying to understand what went wrong. Functional Alcoholic. I think that is why so many of us end up in the mess we are in because at first we think the problems are normal couple p...

Debilyn · Debilyn

BORED!! I am freaking bored. sigh. I didn't even allow my kids or students to say that word! I have sat here as long as I can. Been reading a ton, that's cool. Everything that can be ready is. Pouring rain or I would do out and take my gliders apart.I love GREEN Oregon. This is crazy, a lot of you are in such tu...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...just dropping off the address to the new Al-Anon e-site. My wife and I were scanning it today and it is much more up-beat. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Give it a gander. In support (((hugs)))

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all, went to a great meeting tonight. Met a lot of new people which is always inspiring. It is a step meeting, and although I am still working on the first few steps, the group discussed step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I got t...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I really don`t know how to condense this but I will try. I also don`t mean to be throwing everyone in the mental health field under the bus so to speak but this has been predominately my experience. My grandaughter who is now 7 had been in my custody when she was about 3. Her dad who had just gotten out of pris...

mle612 · mle612

I started writing my story last night, but got too emotional to finish. I could write a book and I am only 5 months into my relationship. My fiance told me pretty much up front that he was a recovering A. I could live with someone in recovery...we all have our baggage. We would go out and he would drink a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://community.webshots.com/user/gypsygma Everyone of these babies were so loved. Even if they came in trying to kill us, and some did!But every single one, learned they were loved and safe and found a home. They turned so sweet. We only lost them to age, or they were too abused to live much longer...

Aimee · Aimee

Last night my RAH was out of town for work and he called me at night to go on and on about how awful his day was, he hates his job, he lost a big sale, blah, blah, blah. And then something different happened! Instead of joining him in his rotten mood, I continued to have a lovely night, watched Real Housewives...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I don't know what to do, think or feel. I have been with my Abf for almost three years. In that time, he has never taken a drink. he has been "sober" for 8 years. Or the more appropriate term, dry. He doesn't work his program so I've learned he's not truly sober. Through alanon I've learne...

lostinDC · lostinDC

I am new to this website (and group). I have spent the last few days reading alot of the old posts. WOW! I never thought I was completely alone, but I never thought that I would hear so many things that were almost exact to my situation. Thanks to everyone for sharing. My story in a nutshell: I met my AH o...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

As some of you know, I've begun to attend meetings and benefiting greatly. Kinda weird last night - my sister, who is a recovering A for 30+ years, went with me. We've never, ever been close! This was the first thing we've ever done together - just the 2 of us. The "Little Jewel I'm referring to is t...

Evian · Evian

My morning today was awesome! Talked with a really good friend of mine... she is always so hard to get a hold of.. and found out that I'm eligible for Gov't funding to go back to school... YAY!!! Then 1pm hits, knock at the door. It was the CAS worker, serving me with court papers.. looks like we are going to...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Maybe how we were brought up has a lot to do with accepting we cannot control an A or anyone else? I grew up not hearing the word should much. We innately knew the rules. No one told us not to drink, not to smoke, not to do drugs etc. My brothers, and I, dressed clean and nice, did not party, we had lots of fun, bu...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

So, I was so proud of myself-I did not contact my exabf on his birthday. Today, a friend of mine tells me, she saw him out with some girl..I really didn't want to know, but she tells me what the girl looked like. I know I shouldn't have, but I did some online sleuthing and found out, yes, he's been hanging out...

parfait624 · parfait624

So I have read in books, heard in meetings, and seen it on this board that most addicts want sex and do all sorts of things to get it. However I am curious because I have the opposite problem with my exabf. The reason I am asking is because we are going to be getting together in a week and a half to talk about s...

gladysg · gladysg

I am working hard on not verbally bashing my husband. I do not do it intentionally, but sometimes even the truth sounds so bad that I cant seem to sugar coat it to make sense. I wish I had some 1-liners to make it sound better or get out of providing an answer. This situation is gettign to the point that peop...

chastine · chastine

My husband Joshua and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. Before we got married he had just started recovery and he was doing really well. We had delt with all our issues about him lying to me about drinking and all the hurtful things that went along with his drinking. We were GREAT. We got married when I w...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My adult addicted son has been showing all the signs of reverting back to using again. I have been holding my breath since his rehab last Oct. hoping for a good out come, but last evening he came over to my house, very hostile when asked any questions, was not clean, eyes not clear. My heart has been poundi...

HopefulMom · HopefulMom

Hello, I am new to this life. The world of self love. I have been abused my whole life. I am a divorced mom of 3. I am currently working on finding myself. Setting bounderies, and learning what makes me happy in life. I took care of both my parents when I was a child. They were both on drugs, and later...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, just wanted to let you all know i am feeling a lot better today. I reached out to al anon memebers and the support i recieved fro this site and memebers of my group pulled me through a difficult time again. As per usual there was a lesson within the pain from my Hp in fact more than one. Firstl...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi. I just wanted to share my experiences over the past couple weeks hoping it will help someone and maybe get some feedback from others who have been there. After 2 months of working the steps with his amazing sponsor I discovered that my AH cheated on me twice during his relapse this past winter. This t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well today is my last day at work before being laid off. Been here five years. Everyone think good thoughts for me :)

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Last week AH was in hospital (again!) with suspected internal bleeding. A blood transfusion, anti-withdrawal drugs and a lot of other care later he was discharged, still very unwell but, hey, this is the NHS (National Health Service: The British Healthcare system) and as soon as you can stand and w...

parfait624 · parfait624

Just looking for some outside input. I seen my exabf at a friends birthday party this weekend. It didn't go to bad he is still sober but is deeper then ever in his gambling addiction. He fully admited being at the casino the previous three nights till the early hours in the morning. Of course he didn't...

Chelle3 · Chelle3

I would love to hear stories of those who are "happily" married to an active alcoholic or at least at peace in the relationship. I feel somewhat at peace now, and have heard that Alanon has created peace for many marriages with alcoholism that is active. I think myself and others would fin...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

Hi everyone, here I am feeling fine about living on my own and great about my dettachment. My exAH was dropping off my 2 1/2 year old and he mentioned that there is a court ordered parenting class we have to attend and he wanted me to set it up since I have a more hectic schedule. I said sure no problem. He sa...

Tracy · Tracy

so my A is 7 months sober and really working on himself. we are having a break to concentrate on our recoveries. I am really battling with resentments, its so hard. My A loves me I know this but my needs have have gone unmet for so long. I am meeting my own needs as best I can but I desire a partner who is sup...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I know I've already said it before, but I cant express how grateful I am to have found this site. I have been in this situation before so many times - my Abf calls me or I call him and he's been drinking but completely denies it. I end up staying awake for a long time being really angry at him and thinking about...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

I wanted to let you all know, I took everyone's advice and refrained from sending anything to my ex, or texting him or anything. I have to admit, it was a little hard for me. I kept thinking, he's going to think I hate him...he's not going ot understand why I would ignore his birthday...times when we broke...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Have to vent. ugh My hands are arthritic and sorta numb. The dumb doorknobs in my farm house are cheap. All the fencing is up at the cabin. Yesterday I was preparing for one last trip up to stay at our new home. I didn't get the door shut. All my 6 dogs ran out the door. I freaked, no fence. Great Pyrenees, Newf...

Tracy · Tracy

I have to get away my sober abf is o.k now lots of supprt and I am on my knees he will not even answer the phone after all the times i was there for him. I am in such pain can not eat trying hard yohurts and stuff never slept last night tried to rest mcuh as can. I am havig panic attacks my parent and brother are tr...

Mrs_B · Mrs_B

Hi All, I'm new here so I haven't had the chance to navigate the website much quite yet, but I'll get there. :) While I have never been an active member of Al-Anon, I could have probably began using it since the day I was born. My mother and father are alcoholics/prior drug addicts, and my stepdad is a recov...

Evian · Evian

The kids and I went down to see AH this weekend. After a couple of weeks of feeling lost, lonely, anxious and all, I came to realize this weekend that there was really no need to feel that way. Yes, he spent time with the kids and my Dad on saturday, and they all had a great day. Late in the day on Saturday, AH an...

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

I'm interested in learning from others the ways they have personally been affected or were affected by another one's addiction and recovery tools if any they have found useful. Making lists helps me come out of denial and help me focus on helping myself. Hopefully others will like this topic too.

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

Just before admitting herself to the hospital my wife ended a 1 week binge by playing beach volleyball with a volleyball social group that she has done a lot of drinking with. One of the guys from the club ended taking her home and then dropping her off in the morning (while I was getting the kids ready f...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I am feeling like after I hit my bottom and felt so lost a couple months ago, out of my brokeness is such a rightness. I am finally feeling not only like I will survive being alone, but I will get healthier and comfortable in my own skin for once. I have been working my program and on myself and all of a sudden i...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i'm wondering if there are any books that address the specific needs of a young COA, 6-8 years old? not for my daughter to read, but for me to better understand what she's going through and better be able to help her? (i've got one of those "6 going on 40" kids with a memory like an elepant.) also...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I've read and heard numerous times that alcoholism can make us just as insane as our alcoholic. Now what crossed my mind when I read and hear this is this: Did living w/alcoholism makes us nuts, or did we have certain belief systems, and thus behaviors that correlate, lead us to Nutsville? Aren't th...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

You might remember my brother, who has been in and out of jail for DUI offenses and probation violations related to alcohol. He was released mid-January, and the first couple of weeks you could hear slurred speech whenever you talked to him on the phone. Sometimes it was sight, others it was severe. Re...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

Hi there everyone, it's me again. I am feeling more put together as of late and I know I did the right thing by moving out on my own months ago. I feel stronger and slowly being alone isn't as scary as it once was, I still have my moments, but more than not I am getting more comfy within my own skin. Having had m...

coco · coco

This may be a strange one but my A is ONLY interested in sex the day after drinking. I have heard of loss of desire and loss of erection but my A seems to get "juiced up sexually' from drinking. The sad thing is I just want to run away from him because of the old booze smell. I am new to this board but had...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

My sponsor is starting a step study at her house once a week with 6 women. I'm thinking about going. [Well ... my sponsor has "suggested" that I go - a strong suggestion. Lol. ] For anyone that has a done a step study like this, what is it like? Especially with respect to the 4th and 5th steps...

clep · clep

I know I have a hp and that I am guided and cared for. That often doesnt' stop me from taking the reigns and doing things on my own. I don't fully trust. It has been a long road. Recently I had the news that I was going to have to move. My business is in my home and the layout of the house makes a large differen...

Mattie · Mattie

I'm trying to use my program to handle a situation, but I'm having trouble seeing how to approach it. The back story is that my exAH used to cancel trips at the last minute. We'd have some wonderful trip planned, like a week in Hawaii, and he'd get cold feet and cancel a day or two before. He'd say, "I...

maresie · maresie

I am coming up to 4 years from leaving the ex A. I'm looking at I had all kinds of timelines and ideas about where I should be in that time. I have not even dated since I left him. I have not really been able to get stable, pay the bills employment. I've had some really awful jobs. I am still living with roomma...

Freya · Freya

I'm really struggling with myself. I've stopped blaming other people for the state of my life and can see how I've made choices right down the line that left me open to be hurt and emotionally battered, when other people would have walked away. I'm looking at my life and the state it's in and feel so muc...

purpleraven · purpleraven

my ex-A has been clean and sober for 26 years. i only met him 5 years ago. whenever i read any of the posts her, or the literature, or go to face-to-face meetings, so much of what i hear is people dealing with actively drinking alcoholics, or alcoholics in the process of starting recovery, or alcoholics w...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

My RAH packed up and moved away (like across the country) thought it was God opening the doors for him. Thought it would cure his problems. Thought it was the best thing for himself. Even though it is hard on me, I got left with all of the responsibities (once again). But atleast I get to sleep without chai...

searching4peace · searching4peace

I'm waffling. I know this is a decision only I can make. And it's not one to be made lightly or in the heat of the moment. I am seriously considering leaving. I plan of spending the next week considering prayerful all the options in front of me and asking my HP for guidance as I make this decision. I als...

roonpugs · roonpugs

I'd like to think that if the rolls were reversed and I was the alcoholic my husband would stand by me as I am him. But the question for myself is how far will I personally take these vows? What would be my breaking point? Does anyone living with an alcoholic ever define this "breaking point"...

Tracy · Tracy

At my meeting tonight we had two new comers, therefore we changed the topic to alcoholism is a disease. everytime this happens my brai says to me oh we have covered this so many times and every time I get adeeper understanding. you see it took me quite a while for it to really sink in that my patner was ill a...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

Hi, I've been lurking on here for a while. My story is.. 3.5 yrs off and on with my exbf. We broke up quite a few times...most of the time it was over alcohol. He has never EVER been able to swear off drinking altogether. He can not drink as MUCH..he can go for a while not getting drunk in front of me...but eve...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

As I posted a few weeks ago the wife came home with another pedigree puppy for the second time without even talking to me about it. (incidentally she said she needs money for clothes and I feel like telling her "you spent it on the puppy"). Now I fell in love with the Shih Tzu but I can't get into...

sarebaer · sarebaer

Just hate this uncontrolable sadness. Is it worth it? Will it ever change? What is "normal"? Feel very lost and alone. My boundry with my AH is when he picks up a drink I check out for the day physically. I can not be around him when he drinks so a leave. The past three nites I have had to close the s...

Steph444 · Steph444

I went out with the girls tonight. Very rare for me, but it was nice....I called my husband early in the day to make sure he'd be home...He said he would........Well, he didn't come home on time...My mother came over to watch our child which was wonderful of her. Husband left me a voicemail that I didn't...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

So, a month ago, I definitively told my exabf, "please do not contact me until and unless you get sober." I have been good about not contacting him this whole month. Well, his birthday is coming up on Monday. If you were me, would you send him a card? Just a simple card--no big words or pronounc...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My mom just emailed this to me and I had to laugh - fits perfectly with my emotions this morning - hope it makes others laugh, sometimes you gotta laugh, the alternative isn't as much fun! Subject: A woman and a man A woman is sitting on her deck with her husband and she says, "I love you." He asks...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This may been a little premature but I am going to CA to see my family especially my DAD & sister! Plans are being made as I am writing this--my mom already made flight reservations & I am leaving on the 10th of May & coming back on the 17th! I am excited & nervous at the same time. My mom made...

Tigger · Tigger

My personal bill of rightsI have the right to numerous choices beyond mere survivalI have the right to grieve over what I didn't get that I needed or what I got that I didn't need or wantI have the right to follow my own values and standardsI have the right to recognise and accept my own value system as ap...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling my crazies starting to build (Preview) My crazies. They are starting to kick in. I'm writing this out so I can see on the computer screen which is the least crazy option and maybe get some ESH from others. My gut is screaming that my AH is lying, lying, lying. My gut knows AH is planning either to hook up with his affair partner or to hide out an...	Very Very Tired	11	896	Apr 16, 2011 by RunnerMom
	Functional Alcoholic (Preview) Sometimes you just feel so broken. You give EVERYTHING to something that falls apart and find yourself standing in the ruins trying to understand what went wrong. Functional Alcoholic. I think that is why so many of us end up in the mess we are in because at first we think the problems are normal couple p...	likemyheart	10	3355	Apr 16, 2011 by mle612
	Am going to say a bad word! (Preview) BORED!! I am freaking bored. sigh. I didn't even allow my kids or students to say that word! I have sat here as long as I can. Been reading a ton, that's cool. Everything that can be ready is. Pouring rain or I would do out and take my gliders apart.I love GREEN Oregon. This is crazy, a lot of you are in such tu...	Debilyn	4	696	Apr 15, 2011 by Loupiness
	Check it out!! (Preview) Aloha Family...just dropping off the address to the new Al-Anon e-site. My wife and I were scanning it today and it is much more up-beat. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Give it a gander. In support (((hugs)))	Jerry F	4	1060	Apr 15, 2011 by danielle0516
	Need some advice... (Preview) Hi all, went to a great meeting tonight. Met a lot of new people which is always inspiring. It is a step meeting, and although I am still working on the first few steps, the group discussed step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I got t...	Corgi2	6	744	Apr 15, 2011 by Corgi2
	I need some help or suggestions... (Preview) I really don`t know how to condense this but I will try. I also don`t mean to be throwing everyone in the mental health field under the bus so to speak but this has been predominately my experience. My grandaughter who is now 7 had been in my custody when she was about 3. Her dad who had just gotten out of pris...	Samsgram	10	983	Apr 15, 2011 by Samsgram
	New to this (Preview) I started writing my story last night, but got too emotional to finish. I could write a book and I am only 5 months into my relationship. My fiance told me pretty much up front that he was a recovering A. I could live with someone in recovery...we all have our baggage. We would go out and he would drink a...	mle612	9	892	Apr 15, 2011 by mle612
	For Otie (Preview) http://community.webshots.com/user/gypsygma Everyone of these babies were so loved. Even if they came in trying to kill us, and some did!But every single one, learned they were loved and safe and found a home. They turned so sweet. We only lost them to age, or they were too abused to live much longer...	Debilyn	0	571	Apr 15, 2011 by Debilyn
	Patting myself on the back * pat pat * (Preview) Last night my RAH was out of town for work and he called me at night to go on and on about how awful his day was, he hates his job, he lost a big sale, blah, blah, blah. And then something different happened! Instead of joining him in his rotten mood, I continued to have a lovely night, watched Real Housewives...	Aimee	3	829	Apr 15, 2011 by Debilyn
	Save me from my sick head (Preview) I don't know what to do, think or feel. I have been with my Abf for almost three years. In that time, he has never taken a drink. he has been "sober" for 8 years. Or the more appropriate term, dry. He doesn't work his program so I've learned he's not truly sober. Through alanon I've learne...	lizzakiss	5	947	Apr 15, 2011 by hotrod
	new here and surprised so many stories sound like mine (Preview) I am new to this website (and group). I have spent the last few days reading alot of the old posts. WOW! I never thought I was completely alone, but I never thought that I would hear so many things that were almost exact to my situation. Thanks to everyone for sharing. My story in a nutshell: I met my AH o...	lostinDC	6	784	Apr 15, 2011 by Jerry F
	A Little Jewel (Preview) As some of you know, I've begun to attend meetings and benefiting greatly. Kinda weird last night - my sister, who is a recovering A for 30+ years, went with me. We've never, ever been close! This was the first thing we've ever done together - just the 2 of us. The "Little Jewel I'm referring to is t...	GailMichelle	8	759	Apr 14, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Good news day and then.... (Preview) My morning today was awesome! Talked with a really good friend of mine... she is always so hard to get a hold of.. and found out that I'm eligible for Gov't funding to go back to school... YAY!!! Then 1pm hits, knock at the door. It was the CAS worker, serving me with court papers.. looks like we are going to...	Evian	6	948	Apr 14, 2011 by Jerry F
	Just dawned on me, and what about you? (Preview) Maybe how we were brought up has a lot to do with accepting we cannot control an A or anyone else? I grew up not hearing the word should much. We innately knew the rules. No one told us not to drink, not to smoke, not to do drugs etc. My brothers, and I, dressed clean and nice, did not party, we had lots of fun, bu...	Debilyn	6	551	Apr 14, 2011 by danielle0516
	AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, need support (Preview) So, I was so proud of myself-I did not contact my exabf on his birthday. Today, a friend of mine tells me, she saw him out with some girl..I really didn't want to know, but she tells me what the girl looked like. I know I shouldn't have, but I did some online sleuthing and found out, yes, he's been hanging out...	drummerchick423	13	938	Apr 14, 2011 by drummerchick423
	Let's talk about sex (Preview) So I have read in books, heard in meetings, and seen it on this board that most addicts want sex and do all sorts of things to get it. However I am curious because I have the opposite problem with my exabf. The reason I am asking is because we are going to be getting together in a week and a half to talk about s...	parfait624	22	6059	Apr 14, 2011 by parfait624
	Watch my tongue! (Preview) I am working hard on not verbally bashing my husband. I do not do it intentionally, but sometimes even the truth sounds so bad that I cant seem to sugar coat it to make sense. I wish I had some 1-liners to make it sound better or get out of providing an answer. This situation is gettign to the point that peop...	gladysg	7	873	Apr 14, 2011 by White Rabbit
	husband was sober for 4yrs now drinking (Preview) My husband Joshua and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. Before we got married he had just started recovery and he was doing really well. We had delt with all our issues about him lying to me about drinking and all the hurtful things that went along with his drinking. We were GREAT. We got married when I w...	chastine	13	3356	Apr 14, 2011 by chastine
	Seeing The Signs (Again)... (Preview) My adult addicted son has been showing all the signs of reverting back to using again. I have been holding my breath since his rehab last Oct. hoping for a good out come, but last evening he came over to my house, very hostile when asked any questions, was not clean, eyes not clear. My heart has been poundi...	DreamsOver	6	801	Apr 14, 2011 by maff52
	New to Life on my own... (Preview) Hello, I am new to this life. The world of self love. I have been abused my whole life. I am a divorced mom of 3. I am currently working on finding myself. Setting bounderies, and learning what makes me happy in life. I took care of both my parents when I was a child. They were both on drugs, and later...	HopefulMom	4	423	Apr 13, 2011 by flopadopilus
	feeling better. (Preview) Hi everyone, just wanted to let you all know i am feeling a lot better today. I reached out to al anon memebers and the support i recieved fro this site and memebers of my group pulled me through a difficult time again. As per usual there was a lesson within the pain from my Hp in fact more than one. Firstl...	Tracy	5	721	Apr 13, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Drinking, Cheating, & Moving On (Preview) Hi. I just wanted to share my experiences over the past couple weeks hoping it will help someone and maybe get some feedback from others who have been there. After 2 months of working the steps with his amazing sponsor I discovered that my AH cheated on me twice during his relapse this past winter. This t...	Aimee	13	1904	Apr 13, 2011 by Aimee
	Last day (Preview) Well today is my last day at work before being laid off. Been here five years. Everyone think good thoughts for me :)	carolinagirl	3	826	Apr 13, 2011 by roonpugs
	Disappointed - again! (Preview) Last week AH was in hospital (again!) with suspected internal bleeding. A blood transfusion, anti-withdrawal drugs and a lot of other care later he was discharged, still very unwell but, hey, this is the NHS (National Health Service: The British Healthcare system) and as soon as you can stand and w...	Tattyhead	8	1162	Apr 13, 2011 by Tattyhead
	How do I approach this? (Preview) Just looking for some outside input. I seen my exabf at a friends birthday party this weekend. It didn't go to bad he is still sober but is deeper then ever in his gambling addiction. He fully admited being at the casino the previous three nights till the early hours in the morning. Of course he didn't...	parfait624	11	970	Apr 13, 2011 by parfait624
	Those coping well with marriage to an active alcoholic.... (Preview) I would love to hear stories of those who are "happily" married to an active alcoholic or at least at peace in the relationship. I feel somewhat at peace now, and have heard that Alanon has created peace for many marriages with alcoholism that is active. I think myself and others would fin...	Chelle3	11	1140	Apr 13, 2011 by wildthang86
	Let down again (Preview) Hi everyone, here I am feeling fine about living on my own and great about my dettachment. My exAH was dropping off my 2 1/2 year old and he mentioned that there is a court ordered parenting class we have to attend and he wanted me to set it up since I have a more hectic schedule. I said sure no problem. He sa...	flopadopilus	9	863	Apr 13, 2011 by White Rabbit
	acceptance (Preview) so my A is 7 months sober and really working on himself. we are having a break to concentrate on our recoveries. I am really battling with resentments, its so hard. My A loves me I know this but my needs have have gone unmet for so long. I am meeting my own needs as best I can but I desire a partner who is sup...	Tracy	6	801	Apr 13, 2011 by missmikey
	Step one is a battle (Preview) I know I've already said it before, but I cant express how grateful I am to have found this site. I have been in this situation before so many times - my Abf calls me or I call him and he's been drinking but completely denies it. I end up staying awake for a long time being really angry at him and thinking about...	Corgi2	9	849	Apr 12, 2011 by Corgi2
	my exabf's birthday (Preview) I wanted to let you all know, I took everyone's advice and refrained from sending anything to my ex, or texting him or anything. I have to admit, it was a little hard for me. I kept thinking, he's going to think I hate him...he's not going ot understand why I would ignore his birthday...times when we broke...	drummerchick423	3	450	Apr 12, 2011 by maresie
	Nightmare day (Preview) Have to vent. ugh My hands are arthritic and sorta numb. The dumb doorknobs in my farm house are cheap. All the fencing is up at the cabin. Yesterday I was preparing for one last trip up to stay at our new home. I didn't get the door shut. All my 6 dogs ran out the door. I freaked, no fence. Great Pyrenees, Newf...	Debilyn	9	950	Apr 12, 2011 by pineapple
	panic (Preview) I have to get away my sober abf is o.k now lots of supprt and I am on my knees he will not even answer the phone after all the times i was there for him. I am in such pain can not eat trying hard yohurts and stuff never slept last night tried to rest mcuh as can. I am havig panic attacks my parent and brother are tr...	Tracy	9	624	Apr 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	New Here. Hi. (Preview) Hi All, I'm new here so I haven't had the chance to navigate the website much quite yet, but I'll get there. :) While I have never been an active member of Al-Anon, I could have probably began using it since the day I was born. My mother and father are alcoholics/prior drug addicts, and my stepdad is a recov...	Mrs_B	8	900	Apr 12, 2011 by Mrs_B
	WOW!! What a real eye opener! (Preview) The kids and I went down to see AH this weekend. After a couple of weeks of feeling lost, lonely, anxious and all, I came to realize this weekend that there was really no need to feel that way. Yes, he spent time with the kids and my Dad on saturday, and they all had a great day. Late in the day on Saturday, AH an...	Evian	12	926	Apr 12, 2011 by Evian
	How have YOU been affected by someone's alcohol/drug addiction? (Preview) I'm interested in learning from others the ways they have personally been affected or were affected by another one's addiction and recovery tools if any they have found useful. Making lists helps me come out of denial and help me focus on helping myself. Hopefully others will like this topic too.	Stillalive2dream	12	920	Apr 12, 2011 by judthryn
	up then down - long (Preview) Just before admitting herself to the hospital my wife ended a 1 week binge by playing beach volleyball with a volleyball social group that she has done a lot of drinking with. One of the guys from the club ended taking her home and then dropping her off in the morning (while I was getting the kids ready f...	DadtoCandE	8	1389	Apr 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	Brokenness (Preview) I am feeling like after I hit my bottom and felt so lost a couple months ago, out of my brokeness is such a rightness. I am finally feeling not only like I will survive being alone, but I will get healthier and comfortable in my own skin for once. I have been working my program and on myself and all of a sudden i...	flopadopilus	5	1037	Apr 11, 2011 by Corgi2
	too young for Alateen, how to help a child? (Preview) i'm wondering if there are any books that address the specific needs of a young COA, 6-8 years old? not for my daughter to read, but for me to better understand what she's going through and better be able to help her? (i've got one of those "6 going on 40" kids with a memory like an elepant.) also...	purpleraven	8	1712	Apr 11, 2011 by pinkchip
	Been Contemplating This for a Long While (Preview) I've read and heard numerous times that alcoholism can make us just as insane as our alcoholic. Now what crossed my mind when I read and hear this is this: Did living w/alcoholism makes us nuts, or did we have certain belief systems, and thus behaviors that correlate, lead us to Nutsville? Aren't th...	GailMichelle	14	1188	Apr 11, 2011 by searching4peace
	Just when things were going well (Preview) You might remember my brother, who has been in and out of jail for DUI offenses and probation violations related to alcohol. He was released mid-January, and the first couple of weeks you could hear slurred speech whenever you talked to him on the phone. Sometimes it was sight, others it was severe. Re...	NCSUgeology	8	956	Apr 11, 2011 by Debilyn
	Guilt (Preview) Hi there everyone, it's me again. I am feeling more put together as of late and I know I did the right thing by moving out on my own months ago. I feel stronger and slowly being alone isn't as scary as it once was, I still have my moments, but more than not I am getting more comfy within my own skin. Having had m...	flopadopilus	3	730	Apr 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	alcohol and sexual desire (Preview) This may be a strange one but my A is ONLY interested in sex the day after drinking. I have heard of loss of desire and loss of erection but my A seems to get "juiced up sexually' from drinking. The sad thing is I just want to run away from him because of the old booze smell. I am new to this board but had...	coco	5	1255	Apr 11, 2011 by B_L
	Step Study group - question (Preview) My sponsor is starting a step study at her house once a week with 6 women. I'm thinking about going. [Well ... my sponsor has "suggested" that I go - a strong suggestion. Lol. ] For anyone that has a done a step study like this, what is it like? Especially with respect to the 4th and 5th steps...	White Rabbit	7	4447	Apr 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Trust in hp finally has happened (Preview) I know I have a hp and that I am guided and cared for. That often doesnt' stop me from taking the reigns and doing things on my own. I don't fully trust. It has been a long road. Recently I had the news that I was going to have to move. My business is in my home and the layout of the house makes a large differen...	clep	10	971	Apr 11, 2011 by member922
	Flashback to old experiences (Preview) I'm trying to use my program to handle a situation, but I'm having trouble seeing how to approach it. The back story is that my exAH used to cancel trips at the last minute. We'd have some wonderful trip planned, like a week in Hawaii, and he'd get cold feet and cancel a day or two before. He'd say, "I...	Mattie	6	994	Apr 10, 2011 by White Rabbit
	4 years on (Preview) I am coming up to 4 years from leaving the ex A. I'm looking at I had all kinds of timelines and ideas about where I should be in that time. I have not even dated since I left him. I have not really been able to get stable, pay the bills employment. I've had some really awful jobs. I am still living with roomma...	maresie	9	1020	Apr 10, 2011 by maresie
	Fed up of being sick and tired! (Preview) I'm really struggling with myself. I've stopped blaming other people for the state of my life and can see how I've made choices right down the line that left me open to be hurt and emotionally battered, when other people would have walked away. I'm looking at my life and the state it's in and feel so muc...	Freya	3	997	Apr 10, 2011 by Mattie
	i'm stuck! the A who hasn't had a drink in 26 years (Preview) my ex-A has been clean and sober for 26 years. i only met him 5 years ago. whenever i read any of the posts her, or the literature, or go to face-to-face meetings, so much of what i hear is people dealing with actively drinking alcoholics, or alcoholics in the process of starting recovery, or alcoholics w...	purpleraven	7	871	Apr 10, 2011 by Otie
	Everyone tells me that my head is in the sand??? (Preview) My RAH packed up and moved away (like across the country) thought it was God opening the doors for him. Thought it would cure his problems. Thought it was the best thing for himself. Even though it is hard on me, I got left with all of the responsibities (once again). But atleast I get to sleep without chai...	KimmyJo	4	1016	Apr 9, 2011 by hotrod
	Do I stay or do I go. (Preview) I'm waffling. I know this is a decision only I can make. And it's not one to be made lightly or in the heat of the moment. I am seriously considering leaving. I plan of spending the next week considering prayerful all the options in front of me and asking my HP for guidance as I make this decision. I als...	searching4peace	3	956	Apr 9, 2011 by Debilyn
	"For better or WORSE" that was the vow... (Preview) I'd like to think that if the rolls were reversed and I was the alcoholic my husband would stand by me as I am him. But the question for myself is how far will I personally take these vows? What would be my breaking point? Does anyone living with an alcoholic ever define this "breaking point"...	roonpugs	11	1148	Apr 9, 2011 by supermom
	disease (Preview) At my meeting tonight we had two new comers, therefore we changed the topic to alcoholism is a disease. everytime this happens my brai says to me oh we have covered this so many times and every time I get adeeper understanding. you see it took me quite a while for it to really sink in that my patner was ill a...	Tracy	2	762	Apr 9, 2011 by pineapple
	I'm new. I miss my exabf sooo much. It hurts terribly. (Preview) Hi, I've been lurking on here for a while. My story is.. 3.5 yrs off and on with my exbf. We broke up quite a few times...most of the time it was over alcohol. He has never EVER been able to swear off drinking altogether. He can not drink as MUCH..he can go for a while not getting drunk in front of me...but eve...	drummerchick423	7	797	Apr 9, 2011 by Corgi2
	Angry at a puppy and not liking myself for it. (Preview) As I posted a few weeks ago the wife came home with another pedigree puppy for the second time without even talking to me about it. (incidentally she said she needs money for clothes and I feel like telling her "you spent it on the puppy"). Now I fell in love with the Shih Tzu but I can't get into...	mjhyankees	15	1081	Apr 9, 2011 by Otie
	Dragging bottom today (Preview) Just hate this uncontrolable sadness. Is it worth it? Will it ever change? What is "normal"? Feel very lost and alone. My boundry with my AH is when he picks up a drink I check out for the day physically. I can not be around him when he drinks so a leave. The past three nites I have had to close the s...	sarebaer	4	706	Apr 9, 2011 by Otie
	How to respond?? (Preview) I went out with the girls tonight. Very rare for me, but it was nice....I called my husband early in the day to make sure he'd be home...He said he would........Well, he didn't come home on time...My mother came over to watch our child which was wonderful of her. Husband left me a voicemail that I didn't...	Steph444	8	864	Apr 9, 2011 by pinkchip
	just wanted to get ya'al's opinions re: exabf's birthday coming up. (Preview) So, a month ago, I definitively told my exabf, "please do not contact me until and unless you get sober." I have been good about not contacting him this whole month. Well, his birthday is coming up on Monday. If you were me, would you send him a card? Just a simple card--no big words or pronounc...	drummerchick423	15	1238	Apr 9, 2011 by pinkchip
	Perfect joke for my frame of mind right now (Preview) My mom just emailed this to me and I had to laugh - fits perfectly with my emotions this morning - hope it makes others laugh, sometimes you gotta laugh, the alternative isn't as much fun! Subject: A woman and a man A woman is sitting on her deck with her husband and she says, "I love you." He asks...	likemyheart	3	686	Apr 9, 2011 by Tracy
	going to CA (Preview) This may been a little premature but I am going to CA to see my family especially my DAD & sister! Plans are being made as I am writing this--my mom already made flight reservations & I am leaving on the 10th of May & coming back on the 17th! I am excited & nervous at the same time. My mom made...	Hoot Nanny	4	758	Apr 9, 2011 by Tattyhead
	My Personal Bill of Rights (Preview) My personal bill of rightsI have the right to numerous choices beyond mere survivalI have the right to grieve over what I didn't get that I needed or what I got that I didn't need or wantI have the right to follow my own values and standardsI have the right to recognise and accept my own value system as ap...	Tigger	6	5799	Apr 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.