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confused
(Preview)
HI, I'm brand new to this type of forum but I feel that this is a step in the right direction for me. I have not been to a meeting before but i know what the group is about. You see, my boyfriend of 1 yr is an alcoholic. He's 38 and has been drinking since he was 15. I would describe him as a functioning alcoholic....
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cbris
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3
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406
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still in limbo!
(Preview)
I can't believe myself sometimes--i am afraid to ask my mom & I never have been like this before! I am waiting to hear from her about going to see my family. It just dawned on me this morning that I really need to see my DAD if nothing else. I had a death dream last night that my dad died but not before I got t...
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Hoot Nanny
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0
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418
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ups and downs
(Preview)
Hi everyone, feeling very scared yet excited. My ABF is sober and has been for 7 months and the light is really gtting shinned on me. HP has brought me to a place were i can not hide anymore. My A is strong and has realised how sick we are together. I am not so strong and was clinging in there. You see he ha...
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Tracy
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4
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645
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son causing me grief
(Preview)
Unfortunately my son has started to cause me grief through alcohol, it has become very worrying. I have made the mistake of humouring with items, I purchased a boxing bag, had to go to a lot of bother to get it put up etc, now he want something else. It is all so wearing and I am very stressed with the whole st...
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maire rua
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3
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642
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I'm not honest now?
(Preview)
I seen my exABF this weekend for the first time in almost two months. It was at a party for a friend so there was not much oppertunity for him to catch me alone. When he did there he was the charming side....but this time I knew to look for that underlined sick person. Then it came out of him....a complime...
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parfait624
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9
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1042
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So afraid he will relapse AGAIN
(Preview)
I have been married for 25 yrs, and he has drank all thru these yrs with maybe a pause here and there, when he would get a DWI/DUI it would always be "I'm done, I quite drinking", or another good one is the cops were picking on him. This last one was just about a year ago, he hadn't had any tickets...
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granny07
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8
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1448
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relapsing
(Preview)
Hi everyone, This is my first time posting on this message board. I have been in al anon for over a year and it has helped me so much. I am in a state of panic and anxiety and grief right now, because my boyfriend of three years (anniversary is tomorrow) seems to be relapsing. He has been sober for a little ove...
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sszamo
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9
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899
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Courage to Change - A Share
(Preview)
Hi Group! Well I finally decided to get back to the basics. I got out my Courage to Change book last night and started hi-liting the things that are the most helpful to me. I was having a difficult time sleeping, hashing over the troubling events that occurred over the past week. One of the quotes at the...
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member922
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2
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568
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New Member -- Same Old Story
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I'm new to the addiction lifestyle and forum groups in general. I am currently in a relationship with an alcoholic; he has been in and out of rehabs on almost ten different occassions, is no longer working the steps, and is relapsing. We have been together for only a short time, and when I...
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CarrieO
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5
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988
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New... Consequences vs. controlling? (long)
(Preview)
I am just tonight realizing I need to be here, so I will first off apologize for knowing so little. Normally I lurk and learn, but this has been a rough day and I think I need to get it out there. AH has been half-heartedly attempting AA for the last year. The drinking has been better in frequency... from dai...
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fabmonkey
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4
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918
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I Just Don`t Know ... Is it Me? Maybe I`am just a pushover...
(Preview)
Right now I`am feeling very angry at my daughter for her behavior. Many of you know that I take on a lot of the responsibilty for my grandaughter. My daughter does not seem truly equipted to give the child what she needs. The child who is 7 is more responsible than the mom is in many ways. Drinking or not dri...
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Samsgram
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4
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937
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the A's confusing dance
(Preview)
my ex-A broke it off with me in email and "entirely" cut me and my daughter off from contact with him, he was really clear about it. except for an upcoming custody case where he needs to testify, he said no contact. but then ... he's emailed me twice more! and he even called my daughter's therap...
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purpleraven
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7
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1052
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checking out my signature
(Preview)
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Ruby
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1
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573
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Do what you can and leave the rest?
(Preview)
Give it to God. But somehow I don't think he can help me to get all my fence down to take to the cabin. He has given me a little energy to do it. Though every joint in my body feels like it is out!Have my sons van, I need an escalator to get in and out! lol I am hopeless, and short, and have only one knee. The uhaul is...
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Debilyn
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4
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1040
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'Operation Save My Kid" - a success!
(Preview)
Well, it can no way be compared to the biblical story of the Prodigal Son, but it wasn't Rambo either Regardless, I got my boy back. I phoned the school counselor on Thurs, and asked him to facilitate a meeting. He offered Mon or Tues morning. I said "too late", he said "today at 2&qu...
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Loupiness
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7
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1018
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working the 4th step again, "by the book"
(Preview)
two nights ago i decided to start doing my 4th step again, even though my face-to-face sponsor is unavailable at this time. because i'm going through a big crisis and my regular journaling was too unfocused and my thoughts would spin out of control, i knew i needed a workbook with blanks to fill. luckil...
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purpleraven
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2
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1435
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hi from insanity
(Preview)
Hi everyone need to reach out. I have shared how since my sober ABF got sober I have been on and off my own programme. He has been sober for 7 months and seems to be o.k. I on the other hand turned into persecuter. He told me that I was jepordising his recovery. He was right my behaviour was unacceptable....
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Tracy
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4
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833
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I'm SO Afraid of Becoming my Mother!
(Preview)
In some ways that would be good. She's a loving, attentive person (so am I). But she's probably a little too much so...overbearing that is. Anyway, my daughter is 4. She's a very funny, intelligent little girl. She's testy though! (as all 4 year olds are I'm sure...I have nothing to compare it too since...
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delhommefan
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3
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1026
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Just checking out my signature
(Preview)
On my last post, my name showed
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Ruby
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0
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452
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Ok so I am not perfect!
(Preview)
It is April Fool's Day & I can't think of a joke; oh well...the truth is I am not perfect! New's flash: I am not even close. I want to spend this day as light-hearted as possible. By the way, on a note, I have been recovered from surgery almost 6 mos. Where did the time go? I am so grateful for all of you who...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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885
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Not sure if I am doing the right thing
(Preview)
Hi guys, I had a little 'debate' with my partner, and now I am trying to work out if I did the right thing. It's all rather silly... He has been away for weeks and it's his first day back. Somehow things are always strained when this happens. He gets stressed because I have been reluctant to take responsibi...
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TheJeanGenie
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4
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1141
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Son is ‘’off the radar’’
(Preview)
No one has seen him for a week which is unusual as hes a very visible drunk, hes a wanderer.He picked up the drink again recently after 9 months in recovery and quickly deteriorated to the way he was before (and worse) so has been a frequent visitor to hospital and police stations. Hes had his phone stolen...
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Ness
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6
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1088
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I heard a story......
(Preview)
the last 2 weeks 3 different people have come to me out of concern for my husband. We live in a very small town and for the most part know what's going on with each other around here. So my divorce won't be final until July, but I moved out and try as I might to stay dettached with love to my A. We share our kids ha...
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flopadopilus
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9
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854
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Thought everything was ok
(Preview)
Hi again. It's been a long time since I posted. I thought I was dealing pretty well with my ABF, but now I have learned that I am not. He brings out the worst in me, making me feel bad about myself. I am still enabling, though I thought I was not. We are not good for each other, and I realize that. I think we a...
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member922
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10
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1076
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love!
(Preview)
I have been really struggling lately and practicing all the behaviours that got me here, the difference is now i know I know, where as before I didn't, this all started long before I met my a, and I have been asking god a lot lately to please help me to see whats wrong, and I you know what? I think he has. I thi...
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Katy
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1
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600
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Just a Thought For Today (a revelation I suppose)
(Preview)
This morning I was meditating which I've just recently started doing. I've worked my way up to 10 minutes, but it is still hard for me to completely erase my mind for that long and breathe the correct way. Today I kept forgetting to focus on my breathing, and it was almost like I was holding my breath. The...
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delhommefan
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2
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867
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Help! Going out of town this weekend...
(Preview)
Hi everyone, My husband has been sober for a little over 40 days, but we're still pretty new to all of this. His sobriety has been fairly easy so far--he can't drive, we haven't been in any situation where he'd be expected to drink, etc. What I'm struggling with right now is that I'm going out of town this w...
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TaylorAnn
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10
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1235
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"Hope for Today": and my encouragement - They [the A's] have the disease, I live with the dis-ease it causes.
(Preview)
Hi Family, Many of you will know that I have travelled a long journey over the last forty years, twenty of them with a very violent alcoholic, who ripped our family to shreds and has left a trail of damaged people behind him who are still struggling today to come to terms with all the abuse and violence and...
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Suzannah
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3
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1133
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Would this be controlling?...
(Preview)
I understand that I can't control the people in my life, but I'm trying to understand when it is OK to state your opinion. AH has bad allergies for the past few days that were absent when he travelled 5 hrs away for a couple days. Therefore, he's decided it must be something in our house. I've been through t...
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Chelle3
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13
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1318
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Self sabotage
(Preview)
I workout than eat, eat than workout, hmmm how come I lose only 1-3 lbs a month. I feel my mind not at peace and wrestling around with what? I am my own worst enemy. I feel insecure and inadequate around people, but it doesn't stop me from doing or saying things I later question. I am the first person to gree...
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flopadopilus
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7
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1213
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cleaning up the A's mess
(Preview)
i'm really grateful for all the support i find here. in fact this morning i was very, very close to self-injuring because i felt absolutely hopeless, i couldn't even connect with my HP at the time. i just knew i had to get here and look for any guidance i could find, to beg my HP to show me anything that could...
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purpleraven
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4
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840
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Trying to focus
(Preview)
Tough week. Husband took out a money market fund account, although not knowing what one is. He wants me to go to the bank to get it changed back. He said the banker did everything and he had nothing to do with it. He doesn't want to accept his part in anything and wants me to fix everything. I'm tired of fixin...
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gladysg
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3
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698
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"Operation Save My Kid" coming together
(Preview)
Wow! The love and support I feel from all of you with your posts and pms is overwhelming. Thank you! I do not have time to to write much as it is a new day again! Let me just say that with daylight and friends and professionals supporting me comes some clarity. I came up with a 'new" plan yesterday m...
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Loupiness
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5
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1063
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bewildered
(Preview)
I havent vented in such a long time, because there was nothing to vent about. Until the last few days. I am bewildered and bothered, but not bewitched. A couple of years ago I became friends with this lady on f/B, she seemed nice enough and she had lost a son thru a drug overdose and she created a group for...
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Bettina
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13
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1150
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Expectations
(Preview)
Have you ever realised that sometimes the exact piece of advice you need is the one you find yourself giving to someone else. I am always grateful for those moments when I hear myself say something to someone and it seems to take on a bit of a ring. It reverberates in my head. And I realize that it is the a...
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searching4peace
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7
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927
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Was just thinking
(Preview)
Having to do all this stuff on my own I have noticed something. NOTHING has gone smoothly. I think I have my tv thing all tied up and done. Instalation day set, order done, price done. They sent the wrong receiver. I call them, they go on about all this bolony. I took notes I KNOW what he told me. So now they ar...
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Debilyn
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0
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475
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Forgot to keep reality where it belonged!!
(Preview)
For the month of January my Ah and his drinking buddy take the month off from drinking to prove they can. They usually dont make the entire month. But mine did this year. I told him I have mixed feelings because I get to see what a "normal" life could be like without his drinking then get shoved b...
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sarebaer
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7
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1067
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New to Al-Anon...sister just completed inpatient for narcotics and alcohol
(Preview)
We live in different states and my other siblings and I were not included in therapy sessions during her two weeks of rehab. I tried to talk to my brother-in-law about my sister's strange behaviors (not paying attention to her kids, ages 4 and 3, always arguing and angry at me and our other sister) and d...
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vols2001
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4
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882
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abandonment
(Preview)
I just left a very tough therapy session. As I often do, I sat in my car crying. I've cried more in the last month than I have in my entire life. Not only has my husband told me that he doesn't love me anymore. His entire family will no longer speak to me. They haven't spoken to me since august. I didn't do anyth...
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Steph444
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13
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1360
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this is WAY bigger than me.. call the cops?
(closed)
(Preview)
I have been posting about my 17 yr old son and how he is living with a friend right now. I will save the regret and guilt I have about this for another post, for I really need some guidance right now. We were following the guidance of a counselor who suggested we do different than we always have, and allow ou...
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Loupiness
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12
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1204
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My da
(Preview)
Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. Ther is nothing i want more for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said the famous line that he would just stop drinking. His drink...
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Lostinthisworld
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4
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786
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Detachment?
(Preview)
From the little bit of reading I've done on detachment, I've done nothing more than confuse myself. Is it in a physical or emotional form? Both? Can I remove myself from my relationship but still be there to provide occassional support and still consider myself 'detached?' Again, I'm confused. What...
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amanda07
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4
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1349
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Marisie where are you??
(Preview)
Please check in if you can. Been too long. love,debilyn
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Debilyn
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2
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665
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Couples Behavior Therapy to treat alcoholism....
(Preview)
This is my 1st post. I am active in Alanon in my town and have attended a couple online meetings here. To make a long story short, I have an AH who I've been married to for 18 yrs. We have 2 daughters, 15 & 17. He had a "nervous breakdown"" 6 months ago and afterwards became verbally abus...
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Chelle3
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22
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1385
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When and How to Tell People about the group
(Preview)
I was just wondering how open you veterans have been about your recovery. I am somewhat embarassed to tell people about the meetings, which is probably ridiculous. I guess it's kind of like going to a therapist...it's personal and I was never one to share with many people what I was doing. I really do wa...
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delhommefan
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8
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734
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megacrisis time, need a sponsor
(Preview)
my A boyfriend of 5 years has "broken up" and come back so many times, i've joked that i need to install a revolving door. i've learned so much from the offline meetings i've been able to attend as well as this group, and i'm getting the hang of detachment. however, Wednesday when the A broke up...
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purpleraven
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13
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955
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HP Gives of Challenges Right?
(Preview)
Right as I start this whole process, I feel like I am being tested. (That's ok...just hard) Sadly my BF called last night with horrible news. He's been at the hospital with his Dad for the past 3 days and they've been running all these tests on him. They diagnosed him with pancreatic cancer last night and...
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delhommefan
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5
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756
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Today Would've Been 8 Years of Marriage
(Preview)
I left my husband for good reason. Very good reason. One of the women in the meeting I went to last night said she'd been part of Al-Anon for 7 years and in all her meetings she sees about 50% of people who can and will stay married to the alcoholic and 50% who cannot and will not. I was part of the cannot/will n...
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delhommefan
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9
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949
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I still cried!!
(Preview)
I watched, "Bicentennial Man" spell? I found myself crying at the end. Though I cannot remember, blocked out, the strong love we had. my A and I, things will make me cry. AFter all these years! What Dreams may come gets me too, and Ghost. Some is my first A husband who died, some is my dear ex AH k...
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Debilyn
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3
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777
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Intro for sick-and-tired
(Preview)
Hello. I don't even know where to really start. Bare with me..as this might be a little long. My alcoholic is my mother. She was diagnosed with cirrhoses of the liver about 3 years ago. They put her on hospice (an agency for the terminally ill) The disease ran its course pretty quick, and within the year s...
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sick-and-tired
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11
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1101
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Not sure hpw much more I can take!!!!
(Preview)
I was married to an alcoholic/co-dependent. My mom is very co-dependent and is now addicted to pills. I've been in a relationship now for two year with a man who I love very much. He is also an addict but he has only had one slip up during our this 2+ years and has sporadically attended NA meetings (not enou...
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delhommefan
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13
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1328
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First time - Need help
(Preview)
Hello group, My name is Mike and this is where I am at. I myself am a recovering addict with 16 years. However, this side of this is new to me and I am now learning what I put my loved ones through when I was active in my addiction. Recently, (this week Wednesday) I had to put my foot down with my wife. Actuall...
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badvox
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9
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940
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I Think I Did This The Right Way...
(Preview)
Since A-BF's relapse over the weekend, I have been so hurt and angry. But I am still focusing on my recovery. I was scolding myself for being angry, but it is what it is. I feel like I have that right, as long as I don't react. I have been trying very hard to detach from the situation. If he calls me and starts w...
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delhommefan
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2
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632
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"moderation" .... update
(Preview)
So. I talked to my AH last night. Took care of the kids, did some journalling and soul searching and then woke him up and said we need to talk. I told him "you need to go to rehab or AA and the alcohol stops today. You need to accompany me to marriage counselling if you still want a marriage. I love yo...
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newleaf66
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4
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750
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To Embed a Youtube video - how?
(Preview)
At times, some have shared helpful youtube videos on this board. How does one do that?
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GailMichelle
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4
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1130
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First time
(Preview)
I have a Social Work degree, so I have always had a need to nurture and 'help' others in need. However, I never thought I'd allow myself to remain in an unhealthy, toxic relationship. I even did my undergraduate internship with a chemical dependency support program, so I know the signs. I've been datin...
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amanda07
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8
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1088
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Update
(Preview)
Hi family..........my long trip is over. Ive had no computer for the last 2 months on the road..... it was an old laptop and finally gave out. Ive missed checking in here at MIP and now have lots of catching up to do. The trip has been healing for both husb & I....taking ourselves away from the disease...
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Ness
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5
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790
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Just keep thinking that divorce is the only answer...
(Preview)
My wife and I are basically a year into this situation...a year ago it was becoming apparent that there was a problem with her drinking...the other issues in our relationship were there previously; and the other individual issues in our lives have been there for many, many years, long before we knew e...
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usedtobeanyer
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12
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1120
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Need some ideas please
(Preview)
This may not be all that important in the larger scheme of life, but it is driving me crazy. Everytime my husband is home in the evenings and I am studying, he finds things to try and fight about. Everything could be perfect and he would find SOMETHING. If I'm just watching tv or cooking, he doesn't do i...
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Steph444
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13
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986
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In desperate need of advice.
(Preview)
Ive been living with an addict for a couple years now, in the form of my sister. Me and my sister used to have a really good relationship, but after she came back home from college her drinking took over. She started doing other drugs as well. After the past couple years, Ive grown to have a immense dislike...
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Issy18
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6
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1081
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