Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, just wanted to let you all know i am feeling a lot better today. I reached out to al anon memebers and the support i recieved fro this site and memebers of my group pulled me through a difficult time again. As per usual there was a lesson within the pain from my Hp in fact more than one. Firstl...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi. I just wanted to share my experiences over the past couple weeks hoping it will help someone and maybe get some feedback from others who have been there. After 2 months of working the steps with his amazing sponsor I discovered that my AH cheated on me twice during his relapse this past winter. This t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well today is my last day at work before being laid off. Been here five years. Everyone think good thoughts for me :)

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Last week AH was in hospital (again!) with suspected internal bleeding. A blood transfusion, anti-withdrawal drugs and a lot of other care later he was discharged, still very unwell but, hey, this is the NHS (National Health Service: The British Healthcare system) and as soon as you can stand and w...

parfait624 · parfait624

Just looking for some outside input. I seen my exabf at a friends birthday party this weekend. It didn't go to bad he is still sober but is deeper then ever in his gambling addiction. He fully admited being at the casino the previous three nights till the early hours in the morning. Of course he didn't...

Chelle3 · Chelle3

I would love to hear stories of those who are "happily" married to an active alcoholic or at least at peace in the relationship. I feel somewhat at peace now, and have heard that Alanon has created peace for many marriages with alcoholism that is active. I think myself and others would fin...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

Hi everyone, here I am feeling fine about living on my own and great about my dettachment. My exAH was dropping off my 2 1/2 year old and he mentioned that there is a court ordered parenting class we have to attend and he wanted me to set it up since I have a more hectic schedule. I said sure no problem. He sa...

Tracy · Tracy

so my A is 7 months sober and really working on himself. we are having a break to concentrate on our recoveries. I am really battling with resentments, its so hard. My A loves me I know this but my needs have have gone unmet for so long. I am meeting my own needs as best I can but I desire a partner who is sup...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I know I've already said it before, but I cant express how grateful I am to have found this site. I have been in this situation before so many times - my Abf calls me or I call him and he's been drinking but completely denies it. I end up staying awake for a long time being really angry at him and thinking about...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

I wanted to let you all know, I took everyone's advice and refrained from sending anything to my ex, or texting him or anything. I have to admit, it was a little hard for me. I kept thinking, he's going to think I hate him...he's not going ot understand why I would ignore his birthday...times when we broke...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Have to vent. ugh My hands are arthritic and sorta numb. The dumb doorknobs in my farm house are cheap. All the fencing is up at the cabin. Yesterday I was preparing for one last trip up to stay at our new home. I didn't get the door shut. All my 6 dogs ran out the door. I freaked, no fence. Great Pyrenees, Newf...

Tracy · Tracy

I have to get away my sober abf is o.k now lots of supprt and I am on my knees he will not even answer the phone after all the times i was there for him. I am in such pain can not eat trying hard yohurts and stuff never slept last night tried to rest mcuh as can. I am havig panic attacks my parent and brother are tr...

Mrs_B · Mrs_B

Hi All, I'm new here so I haven't had the chance to navigate the website much quite yet, but I'll get there. :) While I have never been an active member of Al-Anon, I could have probably began using it since the day I was born. My mother and father are alcoholics/prior drug addicts, and my stepdad is a recov...

Evian · Evian

The kids and I went down to see AH this weekend. After a couple of weeks of feeling lost, lonely, anxious and all, I came to realize this weekend that there was really no need to feel that way. Yes, he spent time with the kids and my Dad on saturday, and they all had a great day. Late in the day on Saturday, AH an...

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

I'm interested in learning from others the ways they have personally been affected or were affected by another one's addiction and recovery tools if any they have found useful. Making lists helps me come out of denial and help me focus on helping myself. Hopefully others will like this topic too.

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

Just before admitting herself to the hospital my wife ended a 1 week binge by playing beach volleyball with a volleyball social group that she has done a lot of drinking with. One of the guys from the club ended taking her home and then dropping her off in the morning (while I was getting the kids ready f...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I am feeling like after I hit my bottom and felt so lost a couple months ago, out of my brokeness is such a rightness. I am finally feeling not only like I will survive being alone, but I will get healthier and comfortable in my own skin for once. I have been working my program and on myself and all of a sudden i...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i'm wondering if there are any books that address the specific needs of a young COA, 6-8 years old? not for my daughter to read, but for me to better understand what she's going through and better be able to help her? (i've got one of those "6 going on 40" kids with a memory like an elepant.) also...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I've read and heard numerous times that alcoholism can make us just as insane as our alcoholic. Now what crossed my mind when I read and hear this is this: Did living w/alcoholism makes us nuts, or did we have certain belief systems, and thus behaviors that correlate, lead us to Nutsville? Aren't th...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

You might remember my brother, who has been in and out of jail for DUI offenses and probation violations related to alcohol. He was released mid-January, and the first couple of weeks you could hear slurred speech whenever you talked to him on the phone. Sometimes it was sight, others it was severe. Re...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

Hi there everyone, it's me again. I am feeling more put together as of late and I know I did the right thing by moving out on my own months ago. I feel stronger and slowly being alone isn't as scary as it once was, I still have my moments, but more than not I am getting more comfy within my own skin. Having had m...

coco · coco

This may be a strange one but my A is ONLY interested in sex the day after drinking. I have heard of loss of desire and loss of erection but my A seems to get "juiced up sexually' from drinking. The sad thing is I just want to run away from him because of the old booze smell. I am new to this board but had...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

My sponsor is starting a step study at her house once a week with 6 women. I'm thinking about going. [Well ... my sponsor has "suggested" that I go - a strong suggestion. Lol. ] For anyone that has a done a step study like this, what is it like? Especially with respect to the 4th and 5th steps...

clep · clep

I know I have a hp and that I am guided and cared for. That often doesnt' stop me from taking the reigns and doing things on my own. I don't fully trust. It has been a long road. Recently I had the news that I was going to have to move. My business is in my home and the layout of the house makes a large differen...

Mattie · Mattie

I'm trying to use my program to handle a situation, but I'm having trouble seeing how to approach it. The back story is that my exAH used to cancel trips at the last minute. We'd have some wonderful trip planned, like a week in Hawaii, and he'd get cold feet and cancel a day or two before. He'd say, "I...

maresie · maresie

I am coming up to 4 years from leaving the ex A. I'm looking at I had all kinds of timelines and ideas about where I should be in that time. I have not even dated since I left him. I have not really been able to get stable, pay the bills employment. I've had some really awful jobs. I am still living with roomma...

Freya · Freya

I'm really struggling with myself. I've stopped blaming other people for the state of my life and can see how I've made choices right down the line that left me open to be hurt and emotionally battered, when other people would have walked away. I'm looking at my life and the state it's in and feel so muc...

purpleraven · purpleraven

my ex-A has been clean and sober for 26 years. i only met him 5 years ago. whenever i read any of the posts her, or the literature, or go to face-to-face meetings, so much of what i hear is people dealing with actively drinking alcoholics, or alcoholics in the process of starting recovery, or alcoholics w...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

My RAH packed up and moved away (like across the country) thought it was God opening the doors for him. Thought it would cure his problems. Thought it was the best thing for himself. Even though it is hard on me, I got left with all of the responsibities (once again). But atleast I get to sleep without chai...

searching4peace · searching4peace

I'm waffling. I know this is a decision only I can make. And it's not one to be made lightly or in the heat of the moment. I am seriously considering leaving. I plan of spending the next week considering prayerful all the options in front of me and asking my HP for guidance as I make this decision. I als...

roonpugs · roonpugs

I'd like to think that if the rolls were reversed and I was the alcoholic my husband would stand by me as I am him. But the question for myself is how far will I personally take these vows? What would be my breaking point? Does anyone living with an alcoholic ever define this "breaking point"...

Tracy · Tracy

At my meeting tonight we had two new comers, therefore we changed the topic to alcoholism is a disease. everytime this happens my brai says to me oh we have covered this so many times and every time I get adeeper understanding. you see it took me quite a while for it to really sink in that my patner was ill a...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

Hi, I've been lurking on here for a while. My story is.. 3.5 yrs off and on with my exbf. We broke up quite a few times...most of the time it was over alcohol. He has never EVER been able to swear off drinking altogether. He can not drink as MUCH..he can go for a while not getting drunk in front of me...but eve...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

As I posted a few weeks ago the wife came home with another pedigree puppy for the second time without even talking to me about it. (incidentally she said she needs money for clothes and I feel like telling her "you spent it on the puppy"). Now I fell in love with the Shih Tzu but I can't get into...

sarebaer · sarebaer

Just hate this uncontrolable sadness. Is it worth it? Will it ever change? What is "normal"? Feel very lost and alone. My boundry with my AH is when he picks up a drink I check out for the day physically. I can not be around him when he drinks so a leave. The past three nites I have had to close the s...

Steph444 · Steph444

I went out with the girls tonight. Very rare for me, but it was nice....I called my husband early in the day to make sure he'd be home...He said he would........Well, he didn't come home on time...My mother came over to watch our child which was wonderful of her. Husband left me a voicemail that I didn't...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

So, a month ago, I definitively told my exabf, "please do not contact me until and unless you get sober." I have been good about not contacting him this whole month. Well, his birthday is coming up on Monday. If you were me, would you send him a card? Just a simple card--no big words or pronounc...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My mom just emailed this to me and I had to laugh - fits perfectly with my emotions this morning - hope it makes others laugh, sometimes you gotta laugh, the alternative isn't as much fun! Subject: A woman and a man A woman is sitting on her deck with her husband and she says, "I love you." He asks...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This may been a little premature but I am going to CA to see my family especially my DAD & sister! Plans are being made as I am writing this--my mom already made flight reservations & I am leaving on the 10th of May & coming back on the 17th! I am excited & nervous at the same time. My mom made...

Tigger · Tigger

My personal bill of rightsI have the right to numerous choices beyond mere survivalI have the right to grieve over what I didn't get that I needed or what I got that I didn't need or wantI have the right to follow my own values and standardsI have the right to recognise and accept my own value system as ap...

Holly09 · Holly09

Hi all! I haven't posted here in so long. I've been out straight with taking my A boyfriends dad to his treatments and dr.'s appointments and my own 3 children to theirs. I am missing this site. My A boyfriend hasn't had a drink since Halloween and I am very thankful and proud of him for that. He told m...

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

Wow. Where do I start? Me and my exabf have been broke up for several months now. We were together for 3 years. I went through a lot when we were together due to his addiction. Well he cheated on me with his ex-gf who happened to be as he said just "his friend and his pill hook-up". Well I caught him...

searching4peace · searching4peace

Who knew? I sure didn't. LOL. I have spent so much of my life trying to be who other people want me to be that sometimes I am not sure who I am. I have based every action, opinion and even thought on what response it would get me. I tend to be a bit of a chameleon. Changing colour to best suit my suroundings...

member922 · member922

Well I have spoken a couple times to the (ex?) abf on the telephone. He wants to see me today, which means a big "I miss you" hug and falling into bed. I told him no. That it doesn't solve anything and will probably just make things worse. It never worked before and will just make us fall back in...

ConcernedinKS · ConcernedinKS

Just stumbled upon this site - thankfully. I have a brother who has been an alcoholic for a very long time. He has a young son and a wife, and has decided to go to rehab - for the third time - today. I dont know what I expect to get out of posting, but Im just so boggled by a slew of emotions and I really dont know wh...

gladysg · gladysg

I have realized via Step 4-6 that I am very fearful and controlling. It is due to a desire for family. I have picked someone very irresponsible. How can I accept that and move on? My expectations were too high. I have been trying to control the outcome of his lack of responsibility. To think that I did this...

username · username

I know someone who is currently living with his elderly parents but they can no longer handle him when he has been drinking. They feel like they're enabling him by providing him with a home regardless of his actions, but they cannot in good concience turn him out with nowhere to go. He cannot afford to li...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Things had been good around here. He was going to counseling with me, told me that I probably saved his life by getting the alcohol out of our lives, etc. Yet, I always knew in the back of my mind that it was too good to be true. I finally snooped(I know, bad idea) and found an open bottle. It just brings b...

Gailey · Gailey

As you know, in addition to my A son that I am always talking about on here, my younger son has a problem too. He is the one that is in the Navy and is in Guam right now while his daughter and wife are with me until the crisis in Japan is over. He has just recently went to a doctor in Guam about his uncontrollable d...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

It's been awhile since I have posted anything on here and find that I have missed sharing. I have come to a realization, I am a work in progress. Not that this is new but to me but I have not been working my program diligently as I had. So last night I found myself "teasing" my AH about his alcohol p...

floridawife · floridawife

Well I finally hit my breaking point lastnight and told my AH to leave. I'm tired of the lies and drinking and the toll this is taking on me (and my 2 small boys-who I HOPE haven't been affected yet). Last time we had and "episode" I told him if he wanted to stay in our house that he had to go to the Su...

glad lee · glad lee

There is no happiness; there are only moments of happiness. -- Spanish proverb How happy we are right now may hinge on dinnertime - whether it is just before or just after. It may also depend on whether we are examining ourselves to see if we are happy or not. There's nothing like a little introspection t...

kathyc · kathyc

I'm finally going to get out, it's been 20 years. I'm sad,anxious, scared and sick but I know it's the right thing to do for myself and my kids. My AH has depressed and disconnected with us for a long, long time now. It makes me feel like I am a bad person. I feel that my close friends and family all know whats g...

Samsgram · Samsgram

http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/ashley-judd-reveals-sexual-abuse-as-child/6b7uh1s?q=Ashley+Judd&rel=msn&from=en-us_msnhp&form=MSNRLL&gt1=42010

searching4peace · searching4peace

My AH had his first day back at work yesterday. And I recieved the expected email asking me to get money for him to get beer and smokes after work. And I said no. We are broke at the moment. His time off work to 'quit drinking' has devastated our budget and I have already borrowed $100 from his Mom for gas a...

Aloha · Aloha

I've had a really interesting experience over the last month and thought I'd share. (It's long, sit down with a good cup of coffee or something.) A few weeks ago, I met a guy while hanging out with my boss. We didn't hit it off right away, just kept stealing glances at each other the night we met. I didn't th...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

it was such a loooong day and started out way too early. Than my job was over and I came home and went online and read some MIP shares and started smiling and even laughed. I have found some great knowledge and hope here after many a hard or emotionally depleting day. I am so appreciative to everyone who ha...

tweety23 · tweety23

i should start off by saying at this moment in time i am unable to attend f2f meetings unfortunately. i have only been able to go to one but at the current time situation makes it impossible. anyway i have always spent a lot of time anxious/stressing over Ah drinking but lately i find myself worrying abo...

Justpretending · Justpretending

I need help. (Sorry, it's a long post) My husband is an alcoholic. A functional alcoholic, if there is such a thing. He's rarely ever drunk in the "falling down, slurring speech, etc." sense of the word, although he is rarely ever sober by 7:00 p.m. (Not making excuses, just stating facts...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I know no one can give me the answers. I am looking for ESH to help me make healthy and safe choices. My AH wants to take our DD on a business trip with him to show her what he does-- a lovely, educational and bonding experience in the world of "normies." In the alcoholic world, it is much more pr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	feeling better. (Preview) Hi everyone, just wanted to let you all know i am feeling a lot better today. I reached out to al anon memebers and the support i recieved fro this site and memebers of my group pulled me through a difficult time again. As per usual there was a lesson within the pain from my Hp in fact more than one. Firstl...	Tracy	5	694	Apr 13, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Drinking, Cheating, & Moving On (Preview) Hi. I just wanted to share my experiences over the past couple weeks hoping it will help someone and maybe get some feedback from others who have been there. After 2 months of working the steps with his amazing sponsor I discovered that my AH cheated on me twice during his relapse this past winter. This t...	Aimee	13	1872	Apr 13, 2011 by Aimee
	Last day (Preview) Well today is my last day at work before being laid off. Been here five years. Everyone think good thoughts for me :)	carolinagirl	3	793	Apr 13, 2011 by roonpugs
	Disappointed - again! (Preview) Last week AH was in hospital (again!) with suspected internal bleeding. A blood transfusion, anti-withdrawal drugs and a lot of other care later he was discharged, still very unwell but, hey, this is the NHS (National Health Service: The British Healthcare system) and as soon as you can stand and w...	Tattyhead	8	1129	Apr 13, 2011 by Tattyhead
	How do I approach this? (Preview) Just looking for some outside input. I seen my exabf at a friends birthday party this weekend. It didn't go to bad he is still sober but is deeper then ever in his gambling addiction. He fully admited being at the casino the previous three nights till the early hours in the morning. Of course he didn't...	parfait624	11	938	Apr 13, 2011 by parfait624
	Those coping well with marriage to an active alcoholic.... (Preview) I would love to hear stories of those who are "happily" married to an active alcoholic or at least at peace in the relationship. I feel somewhat at peace now, and have heard that Alanon has created peace for many marriages with alcoholism that is active. I think myself and others would fin...	Chelle3	11	1105	Apr 13, 2011 by wildthang86
	Let down again (Preview) Hi everyone, here I am feeling fine about living on my own and great about my dettachment. My exAH was dropping off my 2 1/2 year old and he mentioned that there is a court ordered parenting class we have to attend and he wanted me to set it up since I have a more hectic schedule. I said sure no problem. He sa...	flopadopilus	9	835	Apr 13, 2011 by White Rabbit
	acceptance (Preview) so my A is 7 months sober and really working on himself. we are having a break to concentrate on our recoveries. I am really battling with resentments, its so hard. My A loves me I know this but my needs have have gone unmet for so long. I am meeting my own needs as best I can but I desire a partner who is sup...	Tracy	6	773	Apr 13, 2011 by missmikey
	Step one is a battle (Preview) I know I've already said it before, but I cant express how grateful I am to have found this site. I have been in this situation before so many times - my Abf calls me or I call him and he's been drinking but completely denies it. I end up staying awake for a long time being really angry at him and thinking about...	Corgi2	9	822	Apr 12, 2011 by Corgi2
	my exabf's birthday (Preview) I wanted to let you all know, I took everyone's advice and refrained from sending anything to my ex, or texting him or anything. I have to admit, it was a little hard for me. I kept thinking, he's going to think I hate him...he's not going ot understand why I would ignore his birthday...times when we broke...	drummerchick423	3	423	Apr 12, 2011 by maresie
	Nightmare day (Preview) Have to vent. ugh My hands are arthritic and sorta numb. The dumb doorknobs in my farm house are cheap. All the fencing is up at the cabin. Yesterday I was preparing for one last trip up to stay at our new home. I didn't get the door shut. All my 6 dogs ran out the door. I freaked, no fence. Great Pyrenees, Newf...	Debilyn	9	923	Apr 12, 2011 by pineapple
	panic (Preview) I have to get away my sober abf is o.k now lots of supprt and I am on my knees he will not even answer the phone after all the times i was there for him. I am in such pain can not eat trying hard yohurts and stuff never slept last night tried to rest mcuh as can. I am havig panic attacks my parent and brother are tr...	Tracy	9	596	Apr 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	New Here. Hi. (Preview) Hi All, I'm new here so I haven't had the chance to navigate the website much quite yet, but I'll get there. :) While I have never been an active member of Al-Anon, I could have probably began using it since the day I was born. My mother and father are alcoholics/prior drug addicts, and my stepdad is a recov...	Mrs_B	8	872	Apr 12, 2011 by Mrs_B
	WOW!! What a real eye opener! (Preview) The kids and I went down to see AH this weekend. After a couple of weeks of feeling lost, lonely, anxious and all, I came to realize this weekend that there was really no need to feel that way. Yes, he spent time with the kids and my Dad on saturday, and they all had a great day. Late in the day on Saturday, AH an...	Evian	12	897	Apr 12, 2011 by Evian
	How have YOU been affected by someone's alcohol/drug addiction? (Preview) I'm interested in learning from others the ways they have personally been affected or were affected by another one's addiction and recovery tools if any they have found useful. Making lists helps me come out of denial and help me focus on helping myself. Hopefully others will like this topic too.	Stillalive2dream	12	862	Apr 12, 2011 by judthryn
	up then down - long (Preview) Just before admitting herself to the hospital my wife ended a 1 week binge by playing beach volleyball with a volleyball social group that she has done a lot of drinking with. One of the guys from the club ended taking her home and then dropping her off in the morning (while I was getting the kids ready f...	DadtoCandE	8	1357	Apr 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	Brokenness (Preview) I am feeling like after I hit my bottom and felt so lost a couple months ago, out of my brokeness is such a rightness. I am finally feeling not only like I will survive being alone, but I will get healthier and comfortable in my own skin for once. I have been working my program and on myself and all of a sudden i...	flopadopilus	5	1008	Apr 11, 2011 by Corgi2
	too young for Alateen, how to help a child? (Preview) i'm wondering if there are any books that address the specific needs of a young COA, 6-8 years old? not for my daughter to read, but for me to better understand what she's going through and better be able to help her? (i've got one of those "6 going on 40" kids with a memory like an elepant.) also...	purpleraven	8	1681	Apr 11, 2011 by pinkchip
	Been Contemplating This for a Long While (Preview) I've read and heard numerous times that alcoholism can make us just as insane as our alcoholic. Now what crossed my mind when I read and hear this is this: Did living w/alcoholism makes us nuts, or did we have certain belief systems, and thus behaviors that correlate, lead us to Nutsville? Aren't th...	GailMichelle	14	1156	Apr 11, 2011 by searching4peace
	Just when things were going well (Preview) You might remember my brother, who has been in and out of jail for DUI offenses and probation violations related to alcohol. He was released mid-January, and the first couple of weeks you could hear slurred speech whenever you talked to him on the phone. Sometimes it was sight, others it was severe. Re...	NCSUgeology	8	923	Apr 11, 2011 by Debilyn
	Guilt (Preview) Hi there everyone, it's me again. I am feeling more put together as of late and I know I did the right thing by moving out on my own months ago. I feel stronger and slowly being alone isn't as scary as it once was, I still have my moments, but more than not I am getting more comfy within my own skin. Having had m...	flopadopilus	3	699	Apr 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	alcohol and sexual desire (Preview) This may be a strange one but my A is ONLY interested in sex the day after drinking. I have heard of loss of desire and loss of erection but my A seems to get "juiced up sexually' from drinking. The sad thing is I just want to run away from him because of the old booze smell. I am new to this board but had...	coco	5	1222	Apr 11, 2011 by B_L
	Step Study group - question (Preview) My sponsor is starting a step study at her house once a week with 6 women. I'm thinking about going. [Well ... my sponsor has "suggested" that I go - a strong suggestion. Lol. ] For anyone that has a done a step study like this, what is it like? Especially with respect to the 4th and 5th steps...	White Rabbit	7	4318	Apr 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Trust in hp finally has happened (Preview) I know I have a hp and that I am guided and cared for. That often doesnt' stop me from taking the reigns and doing things on my own. I don't fully trust. It has been a long road. Recently I had the news that I was going to have to move. My business is in my home and the layout of the house makes a large differen...	clep	10	942	Apr 11, 2011 by member922
	Flashback to old experiences (Preview) I'm trying to use my program to handle a situation, but I'm having trouble seeing how to approach it. The back story is that my exAH used to cancel trips at the last minute. We'd have some wonderful trip planned, like a week in Hawaii, and he'd get cold feet and cancel a day or two before. He'd say, "I...	Mattie	6	963	Apr 10, 2011 by White Rabbit
	4 years on (Preview) I am coming up to 4 years from leaving the ex A. I'm looking at I had all kinds of timelines and ideas about where I should be in that time. I have not even dated since I left him. I have not really been able to get stable, pay the bills employment. I've had some really awful jobs. I am still living with roomma...	maresie	9	986	Apr 10, 2011 by maresie
	Fed up of being sick and tired! (Preview) I'm really struggling with myself. I've stopped blaming other people for the state of my life and can see how I've made choices right down the line that left me open to be hurt and emotionally battered, when other people would have walked away. I'm looking at my life and the state it's in and feel so muc...	Freya	3	968	Apr 10, 2011 by Mattie
	i'm stuck! the A who hasn't had a drink in 26 years (Preview) my ex-A has been clean and sober for 26 years. i only met him 5 years ago. whenever i read any of the posts her, or the literature, or go to face-to-face meetings, so much of what i hear is people dealing with actively drinking alcoholics, or alcoholics in the process of starting recovery, or alcoholics w...	purpleraven	7	843	Apr 10, 2011 by Otie
	Everyone tells me that my head is in the sand??? (Preview) My RAH packed up and moved away (like across the country) thought it was God opening the doors for him. Thought it would cure his problems. Thought it was the best thing for himself. Even though it is hard on me, I got left with all of the responsibities (once again). But atleast I get to sleep without chai...	KimmyJo	4	987	Apr 9, 2011 by hotrod
	Do I stay or do I go. (Preview) I'm waffling. I know this is a decision only I can make. And it's not one to be made lightly or in the heat of the moment. I am seriously considering leaving. I plan of spending the next week considering prayerful all the options in front of me and asking my HP for guidance as I make this decision. I als...	searching4peace	3	926	Apr 9, 2011 by Debilyn
	"For better or WORSE" that was the vow... (Preview) I'd like to think that if the rolls were reversed and I was the alcoholic my husband would stand by me as I am him. But the question for myself is how far will I personally take these vows? What would be my breaking point? Does anyone living with an alcoholic ever define this "breaking point"...	roonpugs	11	1118	Apr 9, 2011 by supermom
	disease (Preview) At my meeting tonight we had two new comers, therefore we changed the topic to alcoholism is a disease. everytime this happens my brai says to me oh we have covered this so many times and every time I get adeeper understanding. you see it took me quite a while for it to really sink in that my patner was ill a...	Tracy	2	732	Apr 9, 2011 by pineapple
	I'm new. I miss my exabf sooo much. It hurts terribly. (Preview) Hi, I've been lurking on here for a while. My story is.. 3.5 yrs off and on with my exbf. We broke up quite a few times...most of the time it was over alcohol. He has never EVER been able to swear off drinking altogether. He can not drink as MUCH..he can go for a while not getting drunk in front of me...but eve...	drummerchick423	7	765	Apr 9, 2011 by Corgi2
	Angry at a puppy and not liking myself for it. (Preview) As I posted a few weeks ago the wife came home with another pedigree puppy for the second time without even talking to me about it. (incidentally she said she needs money for clothes and I feel like telling her "you spent it on the puppy"). Now I fell in love with the Shih Tzu but I can't get into...	mjhyankees	15	1054	Apr 9, 2011 by Otie
	Dragging bottom today (Preview) Just hate this uncontrolable sadness. Is it worth it? Will it ever change? What is "normal"? Feel very lost and alone. My boundry with my AH is when he picks up a drink I check out for the day physically. I can not be around him when he drinks so a leave. The past three nites I have had to close the s...	sarebaer	4	672	Apr 9, 2011 by Otie
	How to respond?? (Preview) I went out with the girls tonight. Very rare for me, but it was nice....I called my husband early in the day to make sure he'd be home...He said he would........Well, he didn't come home on time...My mother came over to watch our child which was wonderful of her. Husband left me a voicemail that I didn't...	Steph444	8	831	Apr 9, 2011 by pinkchip
	just wanted to get ya'al's opinions re: exabf's birthday coming up. (Preview) So, a month ago, I definitively told my exabf, "please do not contact me until and unless you get sober." I have been good about not contacting him this whole month. Well, his birthday is coming up on Monday. If you were me, would you send him a card? Just a simple card--no big words or pronounc...	drummerchick423	15	1186	Apr 9, 2011 by pinkchip
	Perfect joke for my frame of mind right now (Preview) My mom just emailed this to me and I had to laugh - fits perfectly with my emotions this morning - hope it makes others laugh, sometimes you gotta laugh, the alternative isn't as much fun! Subject: A woman and a man A woman is sitting on her deck with her husband and she says, "I love you." He asks...	likemyheart	3	656	Apr 9, 2011 by Tracy
	going to CA (Preview) This may been a little premature but I am going to CA to see my family especially my DAD & sister! Plans are being made as I am writing this--my mom already made flight reservations & I am leaving on the 10th of May & coming back on the 17th! I am excited & nervous at the same time. My mom made...	Hoot Nanny	4	730	Apr 9, 2011 by Tattyhead
	My Personal Bill of Rights (Preview) My personal bill of rightsI have the right to numerous choices beyond mere survivalI have the right to grieve over what I didn't get that I needed or what I got that I didn't need or wantI have the right to follow my own values and standardsI have the right to recognise and accept my own value system as ap...	Tigger	6	5629	Apr 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
	not taking responsibility for his problem? (Preview) Hi all! I haven't posted here in so long. I've been out straight with taking my A boyfriends dad to his treatments and dr.'s appointments and my own 3 children to theirs. I am missing this site. My A boyfriend hasn't had a drink since Halloween and I am very thankful and proud of him for that. He told m...	Holly09	6	769	Apr 9, 2011 by Holly09
	Insanity/blaming/lying/lack of emotions (Preview) Wow. Where do I start? Me and my exabf have been broke up for several months now. We were together for 3 years. I went through a lot when we were together due to his addiction. Well he cheated on me with his ex-gf who happened to be as he said just "his friend and his pill hook-up". Well I caught him...	Stillalive2dream	4	784	Apr 9, 2011 by drummerchick423
	I like pink (Preview) Who knew? I sure didn't. LOL. I have spent so much of my life trying to be who other people want me to be that sometimes I am not sure who I am. I have based every action, opinion and even thought on what response it would get me. I tend to be a bit of a chameleon. Changing colour to best suit my suroundings...	searching4peace	9	925	Apr 8, 2011 by Aloha
	Trying to stay strong (Preview) Well I have spoken a couple times to the (ex?) abf on the telephone. He wants to see me today, which means a big "I miss you" hug and falling into bed. I told him no. That it doesn't solve anything and will probably just make things worse. It never worked before and will just make us fall back in...	member922	2	793	Apr 8, 2011 by member922
	Just needing a place to vent (Preview) Just stumbled upon this site - thankfully. I have a brother who has been an alcoholic for a very long time. He has a young son and a wife, and has decided to go to rehab - for the third time - today. I dont know what I expect to get out of posting, but Im just so boggled by a slew of emotions and I really dont know wh...	ConcernedinKS	5	828	Apr 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	Need help with acceptance (Preview) I have realized via Step 4-6 that I am very fearful and controlling. It is due to a desire for family. I have picked someone very irresponsible. How can I accept that and move on? My expectations were too high. I have been trying to control the outcome of his lack of responsibility. To think that I did this...	gladysg	8	982	Apr 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	shelter for someone who doesn't want to quit (Preview) I know someone who is currently living with his elderly parents but they can no longer handle him when he has been drinking. They feel like they're enabling him by providing him with a home regardless of his actions, but they cannot in good concience turn him out with nowhere to go. He cannot afford to li...	username	7	948	Apr 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	Could use some prayer as I think things through (Preview) Things had been good around here. He was going to counseling with me, told me that I probably saved his life by getting the alcohol out of our lives, etc. Yet, I always knew in the back of my mind that it was too good to be true. I finally snooped(I know, bad idea) and found an open bottle. It just brings b...	ilovedogs	7	1016	Apr 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	Help (Preview) As you know, in addition to my A son that I am always talking about on here, my younger son has a problem too. He is the one that is in the Navy and is in Guam right now while his daughter and wife are with me until the crisis in Japan is over. He has just recently went to a doctor in Guam about his uncontrollable d...	Gailey	5	659	Apr 8, 2011 by Gailey
	Realizations of last night... WHY? (Preview) It's been awhile since I have posted anything on here and find that I have missed sharing. I have come to a realization, I am a work in progress. Not that this is new but to me but I have not been working my program diligently as I had. So last night I found myself "teasing" my AH about his alcohol p...	wildthang86	13	962	Apr 8, 2011 by ythannah
	I made him leave (Preview) Well I finally hit my breaking point lastnight and told my AH to leave. I'm tired of the lies and drinking and the toll this is taking on me (and my 2 small boys-who I HOPE haven't been affected yet). Last time we had and "episode" I told him if he wanted to stay in our house that he had to go to the Su...	floridawife	5	882	Apr 7, 2011 by pinkchip
	Today's thought - Happiness (Preview) There is no happiness; there are only moments of happiness. -- Spanish proverb How happy we are right now may hinge on dinnertime - whether it is just before or just after. It may also depend on whether we are examining ourselves to see if we are happy or not. There's nothing like a little introspection t...	glad lee	2	1015	Apr 7, 2011 by member922
	Should have left a lon time ago (Preview) I'm finally going to get out, it's been 20 years. I'm sad,anxious, scared and sick but I know it's the right thing to do for myself and my kids. My AH has depressed and disconnected with us for a long, long time now. It makes me feel like I am a bad person. I feel that my close friends and family all know whats g...	kathyc	6	907	Apr 7, 2011 by drummerchick423
	Ashley Judd (Mentions Recovery as part of her healing) (Preview) http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/ashley-judd-reveals-sexual-abuse-as-child/6b7uh1s?q=Ashley+Judd&rel=msn&from=en-us_msnhp&form=MSNRLL&gt1=42010	Samsgram	4	2314	Apr 7, 2011 by tealexis
	Why is this so hard? (Preview) My AH had his first day back at work yesterday. And I recieved the expected email asking me to get money for him to get beer and smokes after work. And I said no. We are broke at the moment. His time off work to 'quit drinking' has devastated our budget and I have already borrowed $100 from his Mom for gas a...	searching4peace	7	834	Apr 7, 2011 by searching4peace
	God does for me what I cannot do for myself (Preview) I've had a really interesting experience over the last month and thought I'd share. (It's long, sit down with a good cup of coffee or something.) A few weeks ago, I met a guy while hanging out with my boss. We didn't hit it off right away, just kept stealing glances at each other the night we met. I didn't th...	Aloha	6	1709	Apr 7, 2011 by Rora
	Long hard day...... (Preview) it was such a loooong day and started out way too early. Than my job was over and I came home and went online and read some MIP shares and started smiling and even laughed. I have found some great knowledge and hope here after many a hard or emotionally depleting day. I am so appreciative to everyone who ha...	flopadopilus	1	613	Apr 7, 2011 by Bettina
	am i getting worse? (Preview) i should start off by saying at this moment in time i am unable to attend f2f meetings unfortunately. i have only been able to go to one but at the current time situation makes it impossible. anyway i have always spent a lot of time anxious/stressing over Ah drinking but lately i find myself worrying abo...	tweety23	8	701	Apr 7, 2011 by drummerchick423
	Am I doing the right things??.... (Preview) I need help. (Sorry, it's a long post) My husband is an alcoholic. A functional alcoholic, if there is such a thing. He's rarely ever drunk in the "falling down, slurring speech, etc." sense of the word, although he is rarely ever sober by 7:00 p.m. (Not making excuses, just stating facts...	Justpretending	7	998	Apr 6, 2011 by roonpugs
	Looking for some ESH regarding AH and travel with children (Preview) I know no one can give me the answers. I am looking for ESH to help me make healthy and safe choices. My AH wants to take our DD on a business trip with him to show her what he does-- a lovely, educational and bonding experience in the world of "normies." In the alcoholic world, it is much more pr...	Very Very Tired	4	753	Apr 6, 2011 by Very Very Tired
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