am i getting worse? - Al-Anon Family Group

tweety23 · Veteran Member

am i getting worse?

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Ellen:

Have you tried the online meetings here? I know of them; however, I don't know how to access them. Others here could help.

Are you able to get literature that is Alanon approved, such as Courage to Change? Another book that is really good is Getting Them Sober.

Others will offer you some ideas.

tweety23 · Veteran Member

i do have those books.. yes.
i thought getting them sober was good but i couldn't really apply it to my situation my ah is "fine" most of the time but does some terrible binging once or twice a month. the rest of the time he is not drinking at all, or having one or two here or there. (though i spend the rest of the time worrying about the one or two times a month..)

member922 · Senior Member

tweety23,

I just want to say that the same kind of thing has happened to me. My person smokes pot. I used to think movies about smoking pot were funny and I wasn't even against it. Now the thought of watching them turns me off and I hope it never gets legalized.

I think it's because I am more aware of how rottenly it has affected me personally. I don't know if it makes me any worse. I just can't stand it because I've had to deal with the problem firsthand.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Tweety...we do that because we are affected by the disease of alcoholism. It scares us and angers us and we are globally concerned. You are a concerned person so good for you. I am also a concerned person who was taught the 3Cs of Al-Anon. I didn't CAUSE it, I cannot Control it and I will not CURE it. My imagination runs on messages my mind feeds it and most often since I'm not involved with "them" I am caught up within something I have no idea or information about.

I stay concerned about myself and others who have been affected by the cunning, powerful and baffling disease of alcoholism and do what I believe is directed by my Higher Power regarding it.

You're not (in my experience) getting worse...you're getting the same. You're a caring person...go ahead and care. Don't obsess. (((((hugs)))))

maryjane · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Tweety23,
Oh yeah, I did the same thing. I would feel all judgmental about the person on the street making 'wrong' choices....by my definition. And I would have to hold myself back to not 'save' them and show them the error of their ways. That is all part of your healing. Remember the 3- A's. The first one is awareness. Right now you are aware of your feelings about that random drunk on the street. It didn't used to be that way. This is just evidence that you are starting on the path to healing of yourself and the mental/emotional damage that has been done by this disease.

tweety23 · Veteran Member

thanks guys!! i really appreciate the responses. good to know i am not alone/crazy in this :) I know if i could attend meetings it would be so good for me but can't at the moment. i can't discuss any of this with friends or family cause nobody knows the scope of what i am dealing with.

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

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drummerchick423 · Senior Member

I know exactly what you mean. I hit my breaking point with my alcoholic boyfriend a few months ago and have since cut him out of my life, as I needed to do to stay sane.

But I now have trouble being in bars. It's like, when I see someone else drinking too much, it's a trigger for me. It brings back my scared feelings. I have a neighbor who I'm pretty sure is an alcoholic.

He's got that flushed, red face look and everytime I see him, he's carrying a 12-pack. At times I think, maybe I should do something! or tell someone! Then I have to remind myself I'm being codependent, and over someone I don't even know...

tweety23 wrote:

i should start off by saying at this moment in time i am unable to attend f2f meetings unfortunately. i have only been able to go to one but at the current time situation makes it impossible.

anyway i have always spent a lot of time anxious/stressing over Ah drinking but lately i find myself worrying about RANDOM people's drinking. what the heck?? this morning i saw a guy going home carrying cases of beer and i worried about this complete stranger for ages 'oh no, he is going to start drinking at 9am, he is going to drink that whole case..." blah blah blah.. .like who cares??? is this kind of typical of a worsening 'condition' or am i just super over anxious. ???!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.