Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tommyecat · tommyecat

When I was new to the program my alanon sponsor suggested I read the AA promises each day. (Our group permits the Big Book of AA as part of permitted literature to discuss in meetings). When I read these trying to identify how they would work for for me in my alanon program I said after each promise, &quo...

Aloha · Aloha

Just thought I'd run this by the group, particularly for those who've actually taken on the role of Sponsor for others (and subsequently my own Sponsor when she returns a message I just left her.) I've been sponsoring someone since the beginning of the year. This has been such a fantastic learning and...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF went to the ER last night. They discharged him with a perscription of Librium. He is home now, looks like crap. He is remoresful, and says he is going to get back to his recovery. He had 8 months until three weeks ago. I kicked him out on Tuesday. By Friday night he was miserable. I really think that if...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

"When I began to work at being really honest, I discovered that many of the things I thought I did unselfishly were pure rationalizations, tricks to get my own way about something." -Lois W. This is soooo true for me. When I got here, I really and truly believed that since my motives were so g...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Thank you for sharing your stories - I find they help me to feel less alone, more inspired. As I've written before, I am currently staying at my in-laws with my 11-month-old, while my husband has begun an outpatient treatment program and AA meetings. Today I am here alone with my daughter...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Real or imagined. Aloha Family...I just did another read of "dating recovering alcoholics" by Drummerchick and refocused...It's not about what is off kilter with "them" but what is off kilter with me...why I got into and stayed in recovery in Al-Anon and the major problem i...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Every so often I can look at a situation I handled and revel in the fact I did it differently. Now as each holiday passes, I am replacing bad memories with good. Toward the end of my marriage, there were many times when my exAH would choose not to come to a family function. Sometimes he stated illness or f...

atheos · atheos

I came to Al-Anon by way of another qualifier, but I am starting to wonder about my dad. Sometimes he's nice, sometimes he's mean (in a way that a lot of other Al-Anon members' sharing about their family members reminds me of!), and he does seem to have his mean times more often when there's alcohol invol...

louise_90 · louise_90

Hi, I'm Louise. Here's my story. I'm a 21 year old and for as long as I can remember my mum has been an alcoholic. She used to try to hide it from us when me and my brothers were younger and put us to bed early. But as we grew up we started to see her drinking more and it has effected our lives more every year. She is...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Yesterday, I posted a lovely thought about living the solution and not the problem. Lovely, wasn't it? Then, a crazy hits. And I decide to check up on my AH (AH is actively drinking extremely heavily and has had multiple affairs). AH found out I checked up on him. The result: an alcoholic rage full...

Evian · Evian

Hello everyone.... Talking to my AH the other day, and he was just in a rotten mood! I had just gotten home from work, and he called me, going off on me about how court went the week before. During that phone call, I realized exactly how far I've come since joining MIP and Al-Anon. I didn't react to him like I...

jocelgp · jocelgp

hello, the past months i have been trying to "detach" from my husbands drinking. If he would be going out or have a drink with friends i try to avoid being there. This coming friday he is asking me to go with him to a family friend's party. I know there's going to be drinking there. He told me...

Losthope · Losthope

Hi all, I'm brand new to this forum. I have attended about five face-to-face meetings so far and have found them very helpful. It has been tough for me to get to meetings because of other responsibilities and I don't have a sponser yet although I feel a strong need for one. My AH is an active drinker. He...

Wifey · Wifey

Hi, I'm a middle aged wife of an alcoholic and am in need of advice, guidance, or maybe just a good swift kick. My husband has been drinking for over 30 years, heavily on and off for the past 7 or so years. I had started therapy, so I've been able to begin addressing some of my issues, fears and concerns r...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

My brain is so tired of searching for the five G's that I decided to cave in and come here and see if anyone knows which book they are in and what they are. I do remember a couple of them such as Get off his back Get yourself to a meeting Thanks in advance for your help

Georgia · Georgia

I started out reading "Alcoholism, A Merry-Go-Round Name Denial." If you are familiar with that. It talks about the various roles people play in the A's life. The Enabler, The Victim and The Provoker. Is it possible for one person to be all 3 roles? Because I am "it" for my AH...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

Dear All, You have been of such help to me in my struggle with my 27 yr old addict son, especially Jerry F, Canadian Guy, Xeno59 and Karen L. Now, I am very sad because the police came last night to say my son had been found dead of an oxycontin overdose, in his squalid room in a house downtown on Sat. about 6 p...

Otie · Otie

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8W110_cod.html

kath · kath

I broke down this weekend and wished my ah a happy easter. We met at a neutral spot and had a really nice time with our daughter. He snooped through my phone and looked at a phone call made to me by this a friend of mine who is a guy. Since I am a terrible liar, I told him that I went with him one evening to get out of...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I have been married for nearly 20 years and discovered last year my husband is a functional alcoholic. it was a shock at first but it all made sense. He has been drinking forever but became more sophisticated with age. He started collecting "vintage" wine and going to wine tastings, old or...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel very lost and sad. I have gone to alanon in the past, my bf is an addict and alcoholic. I am not sure if this is the place for me because I know what to say to sound like I am getting better and in recovery. I know the words that sound good... HE is not like I see describe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana....Good morning Family. I am following thru on a recovery practice that I have just renewed of reading daily from my old, old CAL. I mean old and it is very conforting and powerful because I've got notes and phone numbers and member statements from 1979. It is like opening a t...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

The Awakening~~ A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a bl...

torrylowenstein · torrylowenstein

Hello! I am new here. I am married to an alcoholic that has been through treatment, 8 years ago. He says that he has not had a drink since then. I just met him 3 years ago. Lately, he seems drunk...I am so puzzled. I don't smell anything. I have also been feeling drunk myself once in a while, and I don't drin...

Georgia · Georgia

It all seems so pointless. I have zero experience with alcoholics. I have no coping skills. I only recently made the connection that my husband (AH?) is an alcoholic. He has a family history of it. It is an almost daily issue. I guess he is what you call high functioning. He holds down a stressfu...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Yet another Al Anon skill appeared out of my toolbox without telling me. OMgosh, moving is EZ, even fun. The dealing with the world NO fun. Since March 23 I have been doing all I need to do to get satellite/internet/phone! It has been one cluster of bolony after another! I mean sending wrong stuff, liei...

mslouise · mslouise

This is a follow up to my previous post and I just need to vent. I was hard on myself, yet again, thinking that I'm just over analyzing things due to what I went through with my ex abf for years. Trust is hard for me, I know. I alway say I will listen better to my insticts then I always end up pushing them asid...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone:) My 11 year old daughter often gets frustrated in dealing with my mom (her grandma) and my sister (her aunt). I'm looking for some experience in dealing with similar situations or suggestions on how to handle these situations/how to discuss them with my daughter/what to say ect.. I do...

Suzannah · Suzannah

DON'T - I ask again - Are you thinking of quitting? You believed you could make a difference until they poured criticism and cold water on you. At that point you decided it was easier to adjust your expectations to their opinion and just give up. Don't do it; don't give up, keep smiling 'cos too much has...

maresie · maresie

Today I offered to cook a brunch for my housemates. I didn't expect too much and I really had to work hard on not making it a huge production. I got up at 6:00 a.m. to start preparation (one of them did help and it is a miracle in itself I actually asked!). One housemate who I suspect smokes dope left to go ove...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Hi everyone! Gosh it's been awhile since I've been here. Things are really good on the home front with AH. It's been a good three months since AH has had any alcohol. I am not sure what made him decide to stop drinking, but he did. He never told me he was going to stop. I guess he was just going to let his...

Steph444 · Steph444

Hey all. I just got an anonymous text message telling me that my wonderful husband is at the strip club. Gee...He isn't home at 11pm.....hhhmmm....Glad someone took the time to let me know. I just smiled and rolled my eyes. It makes no difference to me where he's at. As for me, I have immersed mys...

roonpugs · roonpugs

Just had my 2nd Al Anon mtg today and both times I just cried and could not talk. I am hoping to be able to get past the hurt and anger with these meetings. Do the meetings take a lot out of anyone else? Just wondering because I feel so worn out after. Thx!

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Last night, for my bedtime reading, I turned to the Big Book and read the chapter on "Acceptance was the Answer." I was struck by this quote: "When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away." (p.417) The lightbulb went off in the dark ni...

meow33 · meow33

Hi Everyone, I am new and have a super big problem this week. For starters, I am attending an open AA meeting this friday, it's a speaker meeting, i'm not sure what that is, but I will be finding out. I also plan to attend Al-Anon meeting as soon as possible, but with work and a toddler, I'm having a hard tim...

Valiant · Valiant

Hi, My Name is Valiant and I am a recovering meth addict, clean for 15 years. I got clean and sober when my father died of prostate cancer. I am now 54 years old. I was very high functioning in my addiction, nobody knew I was using except my connection and I was working and living in nice digs in Hollywood, C...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I attended my first Al-anon meeting last Tuesday. That particular group meets only once a week. So I decided to try another group meeting that meets on Friday nights at 8. Seems kinda late. Does it matter what night meetings are on in terms of the number of attendees? I got to thinking that perhaps o...

amanda07 · amanda07

I attended my first Al Anon meeting tonight. I was unsure what to expect, but I think I liked it and plan to attend another tomorrow night. After leaving my A bf of 2 years this weekend, I've felt a range of emotion. I've been angry, hurt, motivated, guilty. After attending the meeting tonight, I felt eve...

Lostinthisworld · Lostinthisworld

Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. There is nothing i want more then for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said that he would just stop drinking. His drinking has g...

Tracy · Tracy

HI everyone went to a convention this weekend with some other members who have never been to a convention before it was great to observe their amazment and growth. As for me got so so much as usual. I went without my sober BF because I am just coming out of a slip and to tell you the truth he did not want to g...

JPMyra · JPMyra

Happy Anniversay to me today.......!! One Year! Myra in NH

Skyla Rose · Skyla Rose

So I've been in a relationship with an addict for 17 years. I've been married to him for 11 and we have a child about to be 6. Two weeks ago I filed for a divorce. I have seen him since and I believe he's on the right path. Now, I have to focus on my healing for me and my daughter. I'm going to my first Al-anon meeti...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

Hello All, I felt like writing again since it is now about a month since my 27 year old son OD'ed on heroin and died here in MD where we live. I've reconstructed all the events leading up to his overdose, talked with police, gotten the med examiners report, etc and we had a memorial service for him on March...

onlythelonely · onlythelonely

This is my first time even attempting to talk out loud about my life. I come from a long line of alcoholism in my family. I am 27 years old and have a little bit of a drinking problem myself not to mention I am also an avid pot smoker. Well i might as well give you a quick run down of my childhood. I am the oldest...

nmike · nmike

Someone said this at an Alanon meeting recently. I tend to criticize others and find it hard to look at my part in all of this. I still react to the A (sober) who is in/out of my life. He gave me divorce papers a few weeks ago. I circled the errors and gave them back to him. He called irate because I circled the a...

member922 · member922

So I spent last year with the ABF. It was a beautiful day. We sat outside and laid in the sun. We also cooked Easter dinner together for the first time. So far so great. Of course he had to sneak away here and there to smoke, me being naive. By the time Easter dinner was served, he basically fell asleep in...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i drank too heavy several times when i was 18-22, i stopped because the hangovers just weren't worth it. eee-yecch. i've been a "sipper" during social events or holidays ever since. in my home, i've had good wine and brandy to cook with, and i've had mead because i usually enjoy it with a frie...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sitting here wondering if I should bother to make the trip home for my sister's wedding. I am 900 miles away & have to fly I think. My mom booked her flights a few months ago--come to find out the wedding wasn't planned until recently--around my mom's schedule. I found out yesterday. Can I spend a...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

AL-ANON guidelines The Shared Experience Of Al-Anon and Alateen Members. Taking a periodic group inventory helps to keep your group healthy and invigorated. Members can use the inventory to discuss new service opportunities and address major or minor concerns before the group's unity is disru...

kath · kath

Just need to vent. The AH and I have been separated for over a year now. Have not seen him since first of January. He sends text messages. Yesterday he sent one saying that our daughter is the victim in this situation because I have basically kidnapped her from him and that he does not have a drug problem an...

pineapple · pineapple

This may be off topic, or maybe not. I belong to another forum where members take turns sharing daily quotes. Whenever I see a good quote I add it to my list for when it's my turn to share. I was looking through the list tonight and thought there were a few that fit into the principles of alanon: ¨Life's cha...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi! So i've started going to meetings and I know who I want to ask to be my sponsor. We have talked alot, and I know she's the one. She has been so awesome to me since I've met her, calling me every day, coming with me to meetings, and saying she will be there for me. We have a date on Monday to get coffee and talk....

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks.

stargal · stargal

Hey everyone. Just got the news that one of our friends....Well, I know her and didn't really have a problem with her. Well, she died tonight at quite a young age...early forties. She was one of my A's party buddies. I don't want to see anyone die. How tragic. I was listening to my A on the phone with...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hey everyone, in a post by Chelle 3, someone had mentioned in a reply how she read that: "Alcohol interferes with the dopamine pathways and the impulse control centers in the brain." Going on to say tthat this means things like choice and will power are effected. I've read about this and oth...

katfshh · katfshh

I was here last year. After weeks of my AF on a "bender" he got very sick, ran out of money, and went to detox. He then went to sober living for a little while, and then we moved in together. At six months sober, he was working his program and doing very well, started his own business etc. We decide...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Didn't want to hi-jack the other post. So here's goes mine on same topic, but different question. When you ask someone to be your sponsor, how much time are you asking that person to give you? Taking up their time is bothering me. But.... I haven't found someone that really feels right for me, even to...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

My families' ignorant spewings of wisdom and "what needs to happen" continue to drive me nuts. Now, it's my sister. My mom has settled down, my sister has stepped it up, and I've recently found out (through my sister) that dad said something to the effect of I should have not intervened when...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

So, I posted before...I found out last week my exabf has been seeing his ex. I'm still, 1 week later, going around in circles about this. Here is the thing. I have a LOT of anger about this. I've thrown pillows..I've kicked things..and I feel like I'm getting caught up in circular irrational thinking. B...

maresie · maresie

As many of you have been here know the ex A (who I was with for more than 7 years) crashed the truck I had bought and eventually through a number of carefully crafted actions got all the money from the insurance company (he knew people who worked for a towing company). Its a long involved story and the ex...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The AA 9th Step Promises (Preview) When I was new to the program my alanon sponsor suggested I read the AA promises each day. (Our group permits the Big Book of AA as part of permitted literature to discuss in meetings). When I read these trying to identify how they would work for for me in my alanon program I said after each promise, &quo...	tommyecat	4	6550	Apr 28, 2011 by linbaba
	Sponsor question #3! (Preview) Just thought I'd run this by the group, particularly for those who've actually taken on the role of Sponsor for others (and subsequently my own Sponsor when she returns a message I just left her.) I've been sponsoring someone since the beginning of the year. This has been such a fantastic learning and...	Aloha	5	803	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	He is home, update (Preview) My AF went to the ER last night. They discharged him with a perscription of Librium. He is home now, looks like crap. He is remoresful, and says he is going to get back to his recovery. He had 8 months until three weeks ago. I kicked him out on Tuesday. By Friday night he was miserable. I really think that if...	katfshh	6	1150	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	"Unselfish" actions (Preview) "When I began to work at being really honest, I discovered that many of the things I thought I did unselfishly were pure rationalizations, tricks to get my own way about something." -Lois W. This is soooo true for me. When I got here, I really and truly believed that since my motives were so g...	White Rabbit	6	1011	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Easter - alone, sick, and trying to surrender with Trust. (Preview) Hi Everyone, Thank you for sharing your stories - I find they help me to feel less alone, more inspired. As I've written before, I am currently staying at my in-laws with my 11-month-old, while my husband has begun an outpatient treatment program and AA meetings. Today I am here alone with my daughter...	KLotus	6	1077	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	The problem is me (Preview) Real or imagined. Aloha Family...I just did another read of "dating recovering alcoholics" by Drummerchick and refocused...It's not about what is off kilter with "them" but what is off kilter with me...why I got into and stayed in recovery in Al-Anon and the major problem i...	Jerry F	11	1220	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	doing it differently (Preview) Every so often I can look at a situation I handled and revel in the fact I did it differently. Now as each holiday passes, I am replacing bad memories with good. Toward the end of my marriage, there were many times when my exAH would choose not to come to a family function. Sometimes he stated illness or f...	Loupiness	6	751	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	How do you tell if someone is an alcoholic? (Preview) I came to Al-Anon by way of another qualifier, but I am starting to wonder about my dad. Sometimes he's nice, sometimes he's mean (in a way that a lot of other Al-Anon members' sharing about their family members reminds me of!), and he does seem to have his mean times more often when there's alcohol invol...	atheos	9	1387	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	It's gone on for too long. (Preview) Hi, I'm Louise. Here's my story. I'm a 21 year old and for as long as I can remember my mum has been an alcoholic. She used to try to hide it from us when me and my brothers were younger and put us to bed early. But as we grew up we started to see her drinking more and it has effected our lives more every year. She is...	louise_90	8	1098	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Need to get this out of my head (Preview) Yesterday, I posted a lovely thought about living the solution and not the problem. Lovely, wasn't it? Then, a crazy hits. And I decide to check up on my AH (AH is actively drinking extremely heavily and has had multiple affairs). AH found out I checked up on him. The result: an alcoholic rage full...	Very Very Tired	12	1146	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Good Morning all! (Preview) Hello everyone.... Talking to my AH the other day, and he was just in a rotten mood! I had just gotten home from work, and he called me, going off on me about how court went the week before. During that phone call, I realized exactly how far I've come since joining MIP and Al-Anon. I didn't react to him like I...	Evian	5	979	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	SOS, what do i do? (Preview) hello, the past months i have been trying to "detach" from my husbands drinking. If he would be going out or have a drink with friends i try to avoid being there. This coming friday he is asking me to go with him to a family friend's party. I know there's going to be drinking there. He told me...	jocelgp	8	1121	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Brand new here (Preview) Hi all, I'm brand new to this forum. I have attended about five face-to-face meetings so far and have found them very helpful. It has been tough for me to get to meetings because of other responsibilities and I don't have a sponser yet although I feel a strong need for one. My AH is an active drinker. He...	Losthope	9	881	Apr 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	New here, needing help understanding the alcoholic's thinking process (Preview) Hi, I'm a middle aged wife of an alcoholic and am in need of advice, guidance, or maybe just a good swift kick. My husband has been drinking for over 30 years, heavily on and off for the past 7 or so years. I had started therapy, so I've been able to begin addressing some of my issues, fears and concerns r...	Wifey	20	6258	Apr 27, 2011 by purpleraven
	The 5 G's (Preview) My brain is so tired of searching for the five G's that I decided to cave in and come here and see if anyone knows which book they are in and what they are. I do remember a couple of them such as Get off his back Get yourself to a meeting Thanks in advance for your help	Mobirdie	4	2053	Apr 27, 2011 by tealexis
	i have a couple of questions as i am reading some of the material (Preview) I started out reading "Alcoholism, A Merry-Go-Round Name Denial." If you are familiar with that. It talks about the various roles people play in the A's life. The Enabler, The Victim and The Provoker. Is it possible for one person to be all 3 roles? Because I am "it" for my AH...	Georgia	5	971	Apr 27, 2011 by abbyal
	Son died of overdose yesterday, please pray for me (Preview) Dear All, You have been of such help to me in my struggle with my 27 yr old addict son, especially Jerry F, Canadian Guy, Xeno59 and Karen L. Now, I am very sad because the police came last night to say my son had been found dead of an oxycontin overdose, in his squalid room in a house downtown on Sat. about 6 p...	Fiddleman	38	2322	Apr 26, 2011 by MichaelW
	In Gratitude/Codependency and detachment (Preview) http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8W110_cod.html	Otie	2	3996	Apr 26, 2011 by Chelle3
	need to vent (Preview) I broke down this weekend and wished my ah a happy easter. We met at a neutral spot and had a really nice time with our daughter. He snooped through my phone and looked at a phone call made to me by this a friend of mine who is a guy. Since I am a terrible liar, I told him that I went with him one evening to get out of...	kath	6	1040	Apr 26, 2011 by kath
	need an online sponsor Take 2 (Preview) I have been married for nearly 20 years and discovered last year my husband is a functional alcoholic. it was a shock at first but it all made sense. He has been drinking forever but became more sophisticated with age. He started collecting "vintage" wine and going to wine tastings, old or...	Crazy Frog	6	1525	Apr 26, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Hello (Preview) I don't know what to do anymore. I feel very lost and sad. I have gone to alanon in the past, my bf is an addict and alcoholic. I am not sure if this is the place for me because I know what to say to sound like I am getting better and in recovery. I know the words that sound good... HE is not like I see describe...	youfoundme	9	961	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	ODAAT-Page 13 (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana....Good morning Family. I am following thru on a recovery practice that I have just renewed of reading daily from my old, old CAL. I mean old and it is very conforting and powerful because I've got notes and phone numbers and member statements from 1979. It is like opening a t...	Jerry F	10	1408	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	The Awakening!! (Preview) The Awakening~~ A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a bl...	Peggy7	9	860	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	Question... (Preview) Hello! I am new here. I am married to an alcoholic that has been through treatment, 8 years ago. He says that he has not had a drink since then. I just met him 3 years ago. Lately, he seems drunk...I am so puzzled. I don't smell anything. I have also been feeling drunk myself once in a while, and I don't drin...	torrylowenstein	12	1164	Apr 26, 2011 by maresie
	Newbie....will attend my first Al Anon meeting tonight..updated (Preview) It all seems so pointless. I have zero experience with alcoholics. I have no coping skills. I only recently made the connection that my husband (AH?) is an alcoholic. He has a family history of it. It is an almost daily issue. I guess he is what you call high functioning. He holds down a stressfu...	Georgia	9	1464	Apr 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	Oh, just get over it! (Preview) Yet another Al Anon skill appeared out of my toolbox without telling me. OMgosh, moving is EZ, even fun. The dealing with the world NO fun. Since March 23 I have been doing all I need to do to get satellite/internet/phone! It has been one cluster of bolony after another! I mean sending wrong stuff, liei...	Debilyn	12	1322	Apr 26, 2011 by Debilyn
	Update on what's normal and what's not - a women should always trust her intsticts (Preview) This is a follow up to my previous post and I just need to vent. I was hard on myself, yet again, thinking that I'm just over analyzing things due to what I went through with my ex abf for years. Trust is hard for me, I know. I alway say I will listen better to my insticts then I always end up pushing them asid...	mslouise	5	1144	Apr 26, 2011 by justjudy
	Raising my daughter to stand up for herself. Looking for some suggestions. (Preview) Hi everyone:) My 11 year old daughter often gets frustrated in dealing with my mom (her grandma) and my sister (her aunt). I'm looking for some experience in dealing with similar situations or suggestions on how to handle these situations/how to discuss them with my daughter/what to say ect.. I do...	danielle0516	11	1394	Apr 26, 2011 by DreamXL
	Are you thinking of quitting? (Preview) DON'T - I ask again - Are you thinking of quitting? You believed you could make a difference until they poured criticism and cold water on you. At that point you decided it was easier to adjust your expectations to their opinion and just give up. Don't do it; don't give up, keep smiling 'cos too much has...	Suzannah	5	1197	Apr 25, 2011 by GailMichelle
	progress not perfection (Preview) Today I offered to cook a brunch for my housemates. I didn't expect too much and I really had to work hard on not making it a huge production. I got up at 6:00 a.m. to start preparation (one of them did help and it is a miracle in itself I actually asked!). One housemate who I suspect smokes dope left to go ove...	maresie	7	1528	Apr 25, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Hi everyone! It's been awhile! (Preview) Hi everyone! Gosh it's been awhile since I've been here. Things are really good on the home front with AH. It's been a good three months since AH has had any alcohol. I am not sure what made him decide to stop drinking, but he did. He never told me he was going to stop. I guess he was just going to let his...	kimmy1975	2	1068	Apr 25, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Text Messages (Preview) Hey all. I just got an anonymous text message telling me that my wonderful husband is at the strip club. Gee...He isn't home at 11pm.....hhhmmm....Glad someone took the time to let me know. I just smiled and rolled my eyes. It makes no difference to me where he's at. As for me, I have immersed mys...	Steph444	7	924	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Meetings and after math feelings (Preview) Just had my 2nd Al Anon mtg today and both times I just cried and could not talk. I am hoping to be able to get past the hurt and anger with these meetings. Do the meetings take a lot out of anyone else? Just wondering because I feel so worn out after. Thx!	roonpugs	9	902	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Solutions (Preview) Last night, for my bedtime reading, I turned to the Big Book and read the chapter on "Acceptance was the Answer." I was struck by this quote: "When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away." (p.417) The lightbulb went off in the dark ni...	Very Very Tired	5	1002	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Taking the wrong steps?? (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new and have a super big problem this week. For starters, I am attending an open AA meeting this friday, it's a speaker meeting, i'm not sure what that is, but I will be finding out. I also plan to attend Al-Anon meeting as soon as possible, but with work and a toddler, I'm having a hard tim...	meow33	6	705	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Intro-15 years clean and sober, new to Al anon! (Preview) Hi, My Name is Valiant and I am a recovering meth addict, clean for 15 years. I got clean and sober when my father died of prostate cancer. I am now 54 years old. I was very high functioning in my addiction, nobody knew I was using except my connection and I was working and living in nice digs in Hollywood, C...	Valiant	6	878	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Friday Night Al-anon Meetings (Preview) I attended my first Al-anon meeting last Tuesday. That particular group meets only once a week. So I decided to try another group meeting that meets on Friday nights at 8. Seems kinda late. Does it matter what night meetings are on in terms of the number of attendees? I got to thinking that perhaps o...	GailMichelle	4	1178	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Went to my first f2f Al Anon tonight (Preview) I attended my first Al Anon meeting tonight. I was unsure what to expect, but I think I liked it and plan to attend another tomorrow night. After leaving my A bf of 2 years this weekend, I've felt a range of emotion. I've been angry, hurt, motivated, guilty. After attending the meeting tonight, I felt eve...	amanda07	6	1020	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	my dad (Preview) Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. There is nothing i want more then for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said that he would just stop drinking. His drinking has g...	Lostinthisworld	7	828	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	convention = growth (Preview) HI everyone went to a convention this weekend with some other members who have never been to a convention before it was great to observe their amazment and growth. As for me got so so much as usual. I went without my sober BF because I am just coming out of a slip and to tell you the truth he did not want to g...	Tracy	3	945	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	My One Year Anniversary Today.............. (Preview) Happy Anniversay to me today.......!! One Year! Myra in NH	JPMyra	3	649	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hello, my name is Skyla and I'm a codependent. (Preview) So I've been in a relationship with an addict for 17 years. I've been married to him for 11 and we have a child about to be 6. Two weeks ago I filed for a divorce. I have seen him since and I believe he's on the right path. Now, I have to focus on my healing for me and my daughter. I'm going to my first Al-anon meeti...	Skyla Rose	7	1021	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Month since son's death (Preview) Hello All, I felt like writing again since it is now about a month since my 27 year old son OD'ed on heroin and died here in MD where we live. I've reconstructed all the events leading up to his overdose, talked with police, gotten the med examiners report, etc and we had a memorial service for him on March...	Fiddleman	17	1052	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	I just dont understand!!! (Preview) This is my first time even attempting to talk out loud about my life. I come from a long line of alcoholism in my family. I am 27 years old and have a little bit of a drinking problem myself not to mention I am also an avid pot smoker. Well i might as well give you a quick run down of my childhood. I am the oldest...	onlythelonely	9	982	Apr 24, 2011 by Debilyn
	If you can spot it, you've got it (Preview) Someone said this at an Alanon meeting recently. I tend to criticize others and find it hard to look at my part in all of this. I still react to the A (sober) who is in/out of my life. He gave me divorce papers a few weeks ago. I circled the errors and gave them back to him. He called irate because I circled the a...	nmike	4	1183	Apr 24, 2011 by maresie
	Easter flashback (Preview) So I spent last year with the ABF. It was a beautiful day. We sat outside and laid in the sun. We also cooked Easter dinner together for the first time. So far so great. Of course he had to sneak away here and there to smoke, me being naive. By the time Easter dinner was served, he basically fell asleep in...	member922	3	857	Apr 24, 2011 by member922
	scared of alcohol (Preview) i drank too heavy several times when i was 18-22, i stopped because the hangovers just weren't worth it. eee-yecch. i've been a "sipper" during social events or holidays ever since. in my home, i've had good wine and brandy to cook with, and i've had mead because i usually enjoy it with a frie...	purpleraven	9	1230	Apr 24, 2011 by Aloha
	should I or shouldn't I ? need advice! (Preview) I am sitting here wondering if I should bother to make the trip home for my sister's wedding. I am 900 miles away & have to fly I think. My mom booked her flights a few months ago--come to find out the wedding wasn't planned until recently--around my mom's schedule. I found out yesterday. Can I spend a...	Hoot Nanny	7	1200	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Taking a group inventory (Preview) AL-ANON guidelines The Shared Experience Of Al-Anon and Alateen Members. Taking a periodic group inventory helps to keep your group healthy and invigorated. Members can use the inventory to discuss new service opportunities and address major or minor concerns before the group's unity is disru...	RobinKSC	3	1298	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Not reacting (Preview) Just need to vent. The AH and I have been separated for over a year now. Have not seen him since first of January. He sends text messages. Yesterday he sent one saying that our daughter is the victim in this situation because I have basically kidnapped her from him and that he does not have a drug problem an...	kath	10	951	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Quotes (Preview) This may be off topic, or maybe not. I belong to another forum where members take turns sharing daily quotes. Whenever I see a good quote I add it to my list for when it's my turn to share. I was looking through the list tonight and thought there were a few that fit into the principles of alanon: ¨Life's cha...	pineapple	8	2139	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sponsor Question (Preview) Hi! So i've started going to meetings and I know who I want to ask to be my sponsor. We have talked alot, and I know she's the one. She has been so awesome to me since I've met her, calling me every day, coming with me to meetings, and saying she will be there for me. We have a date on Monday to get coffee and talk....	Aimee	5	969	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks.	shimo	0	664	Apr 24, 2011 by shimo
	Having a Little Meltdown Tonight (Preview) Hey everyone. Just got the news that one of our friends....Well, I know her and didn't really have a problem with her. Well, she died tonight at quite a young age...early forties. She was one of my A's party buddies. I don't want to see anyone die. How tragic. I was listening to my A on the phone with...	stargal	12	857	Apr 24, 2011 by Bettina
	the brain and relapses (Preview) Hey everyone, in a post by Chelle 3, someone had mentioned in a reply how she read that: "Alcohol interferes with the dopamine pathways and the impulse control centers in the brain." Going on to say tthat this means things like choice and will power are effected. I've read about this and oth...	danielle0516	11	928	Apr 23, 2011 by Otie
	Here we go again (Preview) I was here last year. After weeks of my AF on a "bender" he got very sick, ran out of money, and went to detox. He then went to sober living for a little while, and then we moved in together. At six months sober, he was working his program and doing very well, started his own business etc. We decide...	katfshh	8	1068	Apr 23, 2011 by katfshh
	Another Sponsor Question (Preview) Didn't want to hi-jack the other post. So here's goes mine on same topic, but different question. When you ask someone to be your sponsor, how much time are you asking that person to give you? Taking up their time is bothering me. But.... I haven't found someone that really feels right for me, even to...	GailMichelle	10	511	Apr 23, 2011 by GailMichelle
	addiction & effects on extended family. Looking for some ESH (Preview) My families' ignorant spewings of wisdom and "what needs to happen" continue to drive me nuts. Now, it's my sister. My mom has settled down, my sister has stepped it up, and I've recently found out (through my sister) that dad said something to the effect of I should have not intervened when...	danielle0516	12	1497	Apr 22, 2011 by danielle0516
	need help with anger and acceptance (Preview) So, I posted before...I found out last week my exabf has been seeing his ex. I'm still, 1 week later, going around in circles about this. Here is the thing. I have a LOT of anger about this. I've thrown pillows..I've kicked things..and I feel like I'm getting caught up in circular irrational thinking. B...	drummerchick423	16	970	Apr 22, 2011 by drummerchick423
	after the fleecing (Preview) As many of you have been here know the ex A (who I was with for more than 7 years) crashed the truck I had bought and eventually through a number of carefully crafted actions got all the money from the insurance company (he knew people who worked for a towing company). Its a long involved story and the ex...	maresie	5	1016	Apr 22, 2011 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.