Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

meow33 · meow33

Hi Everyone, I am new and have a super big problem this week. For starters, I am attending an open AA meeting this friday, it's a speaker meeting, i'm not sure what that is, but I will be finding out. I also plan to attend Al-Anon meeting as soon as possible, but with work and a toddler, I'm having a hard tim...

Valiant · Valiant

Hi, My Name is Valiant and I am a recovering meth addict, clean for 15 years. I got clean and sober when my father died of prostate cancer. I am now 54 years old. I was very high functioning in my addiction, nobody knew I was using except my connection and I was working and living in nice digs in Hollywood, C...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I attended my first Al-anon meeting last Tuesday. That particular group meets only once a week. So I decided to try another group meeting that meets on Friday nights at 8. Seems kinda late. Does it matter what night meetings are on in terms of the number of attendees? I got to thinking that perhaps o...

amanda07 · amanda07

I attended my first Al Anon meeting tonight. I was unsure what to expect, but I think I liked it and plan to attend another tomorrow night. After leaving my A bf of 2 years this weekend, I've felt a range of emotion. I've been angry, hurt, motivated, guilty. After attending the meeting tonight, I felt eve...

Lostinthisworld · Lostinthisworld

Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. There is nothing i want more then for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said that he would just stop drinking. His drinking has g...

Tracy · Tracy

HI everyone went to a convention this weekend with some other members who have never been to a convention before it was great to observe their amazment and growth. As for me got so so much as usual. I went without my sober BF because I am just coming out of a slip and to tell you the truth he did not want to g...

JPMyra · JPMyra

Happy Anniversay to me today.......!! One Year! Myra in NH

Skyla Rose · Skyla Rose

So I've been in a relationship with an addict for 17 years. I've been married to him for 11 and we have a child about to be 6. Two weeks ago I filed for a divorce. I have seen him since and I believe he's on the right path. Now, I have to focus on my healing for me and my daughter. I'm going to my first Al-anon meeti...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

Hello All, I felt like writing again since it is now about a month since my 27 year old son OD'ed on heroin and died here in MD where we live. I've reconstructed all the events leading up to his overdose, talked with police, gotten the med examiners report, etc and we had a memorial service for him on March...

onlythelonely · onlythelonely

This is my first time even attempting to talk out loud about my life. I come from a long line of alcoholism in my family. I am 27 years old and have a little bit of a drinking problem myself not to mention I am also an avid pot smoker. Well i might as well give you a quick run down of my childhood. I am the oldest...

nmike · nmike

Someone said this at an Alanon meeting recently. I tend to criticize others and find it hard to look at my part in all of this. I still react to the A (sober) who is in/out of my life. He gave me divorce papers a few weeks ago. I circled the errors and gave them back to him. He called irate because I circled the a...

member922 · member922

So I spent last year with the ABF. It was a beautiful day. We sat outside and laid in the sun. We also cooked Easter dinner together for the first time. So far so great. Of course he had to sneak away here and there to smoke, me being naive. By the time Easter dinner was served, he basically fell asleep in...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i drank too heavy several times when i was 18-22, i stopped because the hangovers just weren't worth it. eee-yecch. i've been a "sipper" during social events or holidays ever since. in my home, i've had good wine and brandy to cook with, and i've had mead because i usually enjoy it with a frie...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sitting here wondering if I should bother to make the trip home for my sister's wedding. I am 900 miles away & have to fly I think. My mom booked her flights a few months ago--come to find out the wedding wasn't planned until recently--around my mom's schedule. I found out yesterday. Can I spend a...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

AL-ANON guidelines The Shared Experience Of Al-Anon and Alateen Members. Taking a periodic group inventory helps to keep your group healthy and invigorated. Members can use the inventory to discuss new service opportunities and address major or minor concerns before the group's unity is disru...

kath · kath

Just need to vent. The AH and I have been separated for over a year now. Have not seen him since first of January. He sends text messages. Yesterday he sent one saying that our daughter is the victim in this situation because I have basically kidnapped her from him and that he does not have a drug problem an...

pineapple · pineapple

This may be off topic, or maybe not. I belong to another forum where members take turns sharing daily quotes. Whenever I see a good quote I add it to my list for when it's my turn to share. I was looking through the list tonight and thought there were a few that fit into the principles of alanon: ¨Life's cha...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi! So i've started going to meetings and I know who I want to ask to be my sponsor. We have talked alot, and I know she's the one. She has been so awesome to me since I've met her, calling me every day, coming with me to meetings, and saying she will be there for me. We have a date on Monday to get coffee and talk....

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks.

stargal · stargal

Hey everyone. Just got the news that one of our friends....Well, I know her and didn't really have a problem with her. Well, she died tonight at quite a young age...early forties. She was one of my A's party buddies. I don't want to see anyone die. How tragic. I was listening to my A on the phone with...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hey everyone, in a post by Chelle 3, someone had mentioned in a reply how she read that: "Alcohol interferes with the dopamine pathways and the impulse control centers in the brain." Going on to say tthat this means things like choice and will power are effected. I've read about this and oth...

katfshh · katfshh

I was here last year. After weeks of my AF on a "bender" he got very sick, ran out of money, and went to detox. He then went to sober living for a little while, and then we moved in together. At six months sober, he was working his program and doing very well, started his own business etc. We decide...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Didn't want to hi-jack the other post. So here's goes mine on same topic, but different question. When you ask someone to be your sponsor, how much time are you asking that person to give you? Taking up their time is bothering me. But.... I haven't found someone that really feels right for me, even to...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

My families' ignorant spewings of wisdom and "what needs to happen" continue to drive me nuts. Now, it's my sister. My mom has settled down, my sister has stepped it up, and I've recently found out (through my sister) that dad said something to the effect of I should have not intervened when...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

So, I posted before...I found out last week my exabf has been seeing his ex. I'm still, 1 week later, going around in circles about this. Here is the thing. I have a LOT of anger about this. I've thrown pillows..I've kicked things..and I feel like I'm getting caught up in circular irrational thinking. B...

maresie · maresie

As many of you have been here know the ex A (who I was with for more than 7 years) crashed the truck I had bought and eventually through a number of carefully crafted actions got all the money from the insurance company (he knew people who worked for a towing company). Its a long involved story and the ex...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I tend to give in and am seeing I am about to get ripped off in the divorce. I want the kids primary through the week and with him on the weekends, he wants 50/50 and no weekends is what he has gotten so far, so he can drink and party through the weekends and obviously he pays no child support. I am giving him the...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i had to be in court with my ex-husband this week, over custody matters, after child abuse. i've been fighting this same case for 3 years! i was so scared!, he was right behind me. when he spoke, i didn't realize why i was afraid of him, he didn't even try. when i stood up to speak, i physically felt like a wal...

mslouise · mslouise

Hi there....haven't been here in a while but have been reading some. I've worked really hard on myself and getting away from the 3 years of hell from my ex-abf (now been apart for almost 2years). I am totally off all anxienty / depression meds thanks to Al-Anon and my exercise program!! However, I ha...

Evian · Evian

AH and I had court today.. If you read my previous posts, then you know that CAS was taking us to court. Well... we have to have our own lawyers, and he has one, and I am still in the process, so had to use duty counsel. Needless to say, that was bull. She (duty counsel) read me what they wanted in the order, and...

pinkdaisy · pinkdaisy

Am I crazy for wanting a normal fit life. I hate the circle I am in right now I am still angry at him then the next i love him and I am calling him.. Oh wow I have issues. I want to be wanted and loved and enjoyed.. I am tried of not feeling good enough or like i deserve this. I am so comfortable in my marriage I dont w...

KLotus · KLotus

HI Everyone, Thank you for the privilidge of allowing me to join your online forum! As you can see, I am new at this. I've been in Al-Anon for two years now. In that time, I have gotten married, and now have a baby. My husband has stopped and started drinking several times. My daughter and I are current...

maresie · maresie

Next week will be 4 years since I physically moved out from the now ex A. For more than a year after I moved out I had contact with him and had the same chaos/crisis/space that was pretty much part of our entire relationship. 4 years on my lfe is very very hard. The financial inpact of living with an end st...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I know the title is familiar to many. Trying to wrap my head around how all my efforts to protect myself a few years ago, really just postponed the inevitable while enabling my exAH and his A g/f at the same time. Bleh! I spent about 15K on a divorce, and now the reasons and the details behind them are nu...

Chelle3 · Chelle3

I know that understanding alcoholism is supposed to help us to better live with active a's. There is one element of alcoholism that I can't reconcile in my head as being a disease, that of being able to quit if your will is strong enough... Please let me tell you what's led up to this and why it's affecting...

tj · tj

I feel there is something wrong with me. That I am in some way sick. I have an addiction. Me? I've never done drugs before in my life? Me? I don't even drink to get drunk - a few glass a year... My addiction seems to be in not caring for myself to the degree I should, but rather in devoting my energy to my husband...

Katy · Katy

Alot of what keeps me stuck is that I suffer rigid thinking, and also because I am a person that needs to understand how something works to beable to grasp the concept and so when it comes to something like an higher power, because I am wired the way I am, it is very difficult to trust something that I can't t...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

Today after work I stopped by my exAH's (divorce won't be final until July) house to grab my daughter's bag, the girls were at my house. He says want to stop by tonight for a movie? I want to say no, but I say maybe let's see how the night goes. Then my girlfriend's mom died yesterday and I found out she is goi...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My husband has been very active in recovery and had been doing very well. He is in two groups with a great bunch of Christian men. Last night, I suspected he had some alcohol. Not drunk, however, being around him for so many years that he got drunk, I know the signs. Speech not quite the same, some cra...

Ness · Ness

So my son has re-appeared, he's been spotted begging again. I'm led to believe he still has a roof over his head. He's in a right state. Its taken him 4 weeks to undo the 9 months of recovery he had, so back to the way he was and worse, seizures, self harm et al. My thoughts are swinging left and right over t...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

These boards are so comforting. I was so upset when I wrote my post and to see 15 posts with such wonderful information, advice and experiences has helped me so much. I love the lesson of "not asking questions when you already know the answer." I have done that in the past, but then my old se...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Again, In following up from my yesterday's post: The part regarding fear of either me having to leave, or him filing for divorce to punish me... In order for me to be able to make the best decisions in my best interest and my daughter's best interest (and ultimately my alcoholic husband's best inter...

member922 · member922

Now I am discovering more things about myself and my relationship with the A. For a short time now, he has respected not smoking around me. That is good. What I am now learning more about him. I think I was so concentrated on that, that I didn't realize that there are other things I don't like about him....

pinkdaisy · pinkdaisy

Tonight I finally went to a meeting.. Lets just say it was intresting... I found the topic was on compasion... Hmmm this was my first meeting and not the meeting I wanted tonight... I left tonight empty and hollow.. I came home shaken not knowing how to handle all of the emotions Compassion is somethin...

roonpugs · roonpugs

So I ran across an old external hard drive today and found a poem I started to write back in 2009 along with a journal I had started. It was a rough time dealing with a depressed drug/alcoholic/suicidal mother and depressed alcoholic/gaming husband. Reading my words from 2 years ago made me realize...

Debilyn · Debilyn

HI! Fell like I have been gone forever! It is BLUE sky absolutely beautiful up here! The moss on the trees looks so pretty in the sun. I have birds yelling at me from crows to stellars jays to get the dogs out of here. lol I do have lots of just bird areas I put food out. The river is almost azure again. I could no...

so very sad · so very sad

I am new to your site I am a wreck I have been with my ah for 24 years and have been married to him for 13 .He has been to two rehabs and we are bankrupt beacuse of his drinking which he blames me for the bankrupcy.I have dealt with the lies and the drinking trying to encourage him to stop in every way possible eve...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all... just wanted to let the group know that I won't be able to continue giving away the free GTS books anymore - money is pretty tight around my place these days, and I just can't afford it.... I believe that I have two book remaining, and after those have been given away, I will take down the post at th...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I kept the house that my then-husband and I have lived in since 1989. The house has a huge garage, which was built to acommodate all his power tools, kayaks, and other man toys. Other than his gun safe, which was too darn heavy for him and a friend to move, occupies this mostly empty garage. I do park my ve...

Mattie · Mattie

I've been having a hard time because I've been revisiting a place where my ex and I were very happy. It's hard not to fall into the old thinking, "If only I..." "I bet I could have made it work if..." "If I had just explained to him how his behavior made me feel..." &qu...

Tracy · Tracy

Any ESH would be appreciated. My aprtner has been sober for 8 months 5 months in rehab and 3 in supported living alot of people around him are saying he shou;ld not have a relationship within the first two years of his sobriety. We have cooled things off. In al anon I am also being tole after a big slip th...

Aimee · Aimee

Good afternoon friends! I haven't been to a f2f Al-anon meeting yet but I have been to a few AA meetings with my AH. It was a really great experience, and I heard a lot that rang true for me. Being a very shy, socially awkward person it was really comforting to go with my H and his sponsor and be kind of taken un...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Just wanted to tell you thank you for all your support during this time! Ya made me laugh and got me off my bum, helped me to understand things too. Son is on his way, I have all I need for the electric fence etc. I sure hope the dogs do ok. I have one area completely done for them, well Mac does. I was in Laundrom...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have felt led to post on this topic for a while now. It is controversial in a way, but I see it as a part of my ESH to share, and it may just help one person who doesn't know what he/she doesn't know. My exAH was drinking/using for many years and I just did not know it. Honestly, I just thought he was a jerk...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Well... I am still going to CA I think. I had a big bout of not being sure if I wanted to go. I told my mom that I didn't & then changed my mind. The other question is: do they have a plan for me while I am there? It has been 9 days since I reported in to you all. I have been to see a new counselor who is OK but is not t...

RunnerMom · RunnerMom

Yesterday I was told (while I said nothing and walked away 5 separate times) the following: - AH is not worrying about me he is simply telling me what he doesn't find acceptable (I have said something like this to him for months now) about my behavior and is finally standing up for himself. - I don't see my...

roonpugs · roonpugs

My AH is almost to week 3wks of sobriety and this week has been just horrible... I DO NOT know how to read him or react to him. He's burying himself into work again when he said he would put us (his family) first he is not, he is angry, depressed, grumpy, touchy, sad (I think) he won't really talk to me. Fo...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

RLC's reply on another thread reminded me of the Alanon reading about pigeons (can't remember if it's in Courage to Change or One Day at a Time). In a nutshell, just says that when you go to the park and sit under a tree with pigeons in it, and pigeons do what pigeons DO, you get pooped on. The pigeons aren...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i know it was just unfortunate timing but i need to transition to a new sponsor, my f2f won't be back til the end of the month and even then she is retiring from service work for a while at least. a bunch of crisis stuff happened literally just a day after she left for vacation and is unreachable. i am not doin...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

Thought you all might find this helpful. It does a good job explaining why we often end up feeling mentally ill when in a relationshp with an addict/alcoholic. Addiction, Lies and Relationships Floyd P. Garrett, M.D. Addiction means always having to say you are sorry à and finally, when being sorry i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Taking the wrong steps?? (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am new and have a super big problem this week. For starters, I am attending an open AA meeting this friday, it's a speaker meeting, i'm not sure what that is, but I will be finding out. I also plan to attend Al-Anon meeting as soon as possible, but with work and a toddler, I'm having a hard tim...	meow33	6	626	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Intro-15 years clean and sober, new to Al anon! (Preview) Hi, My Name is Valiant and I am a recovering meth addict, clean for 15 years. I got clean and sober when my father died of prostate cancer. I am now 54 years old. I was very high functioning in my addiction, nobody knew I was using except my connection and I was working and living in nice digs in Hollywood, C...	Valiant	6	789	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Friday Night Al-anon Meetings (Preview) I attended my first Al-anon meeting last Tuesday. That particular group meets only once a week. So I decided to try another group meeting that meets on Friday nights at 8. Seems kinda late. Does it matter what night meetings are on in terms of the number of attendees? I got to thinking that perhaps o...	GailMichelle	4	1089	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Went to my first f2f Al Anon tonight (Preview) I attended my first Al Anon meeting tonight. I was unsure what to expect, but I think I liked it and plan to attend another tomorrow night. After leaving my A bf of 2 years this weekend, I've felt a range of emotion. I've been angry, hurt, motivated, guilty. After attending the meeting tonight, I felt eve...	amanda07	6	939	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	my dad (Preview) Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. There is nothing i want more then for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said that he would just stop drinking. His drinking has g...	Lostinthisworld	7	735	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	convention = growth (Preview) HI everyone went to a convention this weekend with some other members who have never been to a convention before it was great to observe their amazment and growth. As for me got so so much as usual. I went without my sober BF because I am just coming out of a slip and to tell you the truth he did not want to g...	Tracy	3	869	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	My One Year Anniversary Today.............. (Preview) Happy Anniversay to me today.......!! One Year! Myra in NH	JPMyra	3	567	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hello, my name is Skyla and I'm a codependent. (Preview) So I've been in a relationship with an addict for 17 years. I've been married to him for 11 and we have a child about to be 6. Two weeks ago I filed for a divorce. I have seen him since and I believe he's on the right path. Now, I have to focus on my healing for me and my daughter. I'm going to my first Al-anon meeti...	Skyla Rose	7	937	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	Month since son's death (Preview) Hello All, I felt like writing again since it is now about a month since my 27 year old son OD'ed on heroin and died here in MD where we live. I've reconstructed all the events leading up to his overdose, talked with police, gotten the med examiners report, etc and we had a memorial service for him on March...	Fiddleman	17	960	Apr 25, 2011 by tommyecat
	I just dont understand!!! (Preview) This is my first time even attempting to talk out loud about my life. I come from a long line of alcoholism in my family. I am 27 years old and have a little bit of a drinking problem myself not to mention I am also an avid pot smoker. Well i might as well give you a quick run down of my childhood. I am the oldest...	onlythelonely	9	895	Apr 24, 2011 by Debilyn
	If you can spot it, you've got it (Preview) Someone said this at an Alanon meeting recently. I tend to criticize others and find it hard to look at my part in all of this. I still react to the A (sober) who is in/out of my life. He gave me divorce papers a few weeks ago. I circled the errors and gave them back to him. He called irate because I circled the a...	nmike	4	1093	Apr 24, 2011 by maresie
	Easter flashback (Preview) So I spent last year with the ABF. It was a beautiful day. We sat outside and laid in the sun. We also cooked Easter dinner together for the first time. So far so great. Of course he had to sneak away here and there to smoke, me being naive. By the time Easter dinner was served, he basically fell asleep in...	member922	3	772	Apr 24, 2011 by member922
	scared of alcohol (Preview) i drank too heavy several times when i was 18-22, i stopped because the hangovers just weren't worth it. eee-yecch. i've been a "sipper" during social events or holidays ever since. in my home, i've had good wine and brandy to cook with, and i've had mead because i usually enjoy it with a frie...	purpleraven	9	1137	Apr 24, 2011 by Aloha
	should I or shouldn't I ? need advice! (Preview) I am sitting here wondering if I should bother to make the trip home for my sister's wedding. I am 900 miles away & have to fly I think. My mom booked her flights a few months ago--come to find out the wedding wasn't planned until recently--around my mom's schedule. I found out yesterday. Can I spend a...	Hoot Nanny	7	1108	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Taking a group inventory (Preview) AL-ANON guidelines The Shared Experience Of Al-Anon and Alateen Members. Taking a periodic group inventory helps to keep your group healthy and invigorated. Members can use the inventory to discuss new service opportunities and address major or minor concerns before the group's unity is disru...	RobinKSC	3	1145	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Not reacting (Preview) Just need to vent. The AH and I have been separated for over a year now. Have not seen him since first of January. He sends text messages. Yesterday he sent one saying that our daughter is the victim in this situation because I have basically kidnapped her from him and that he does not have a drug problem an...	kath	10	871	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Quotes (Preview) This may be off topic, or maybe not. I belong to another forum where members take turns sharing daily quotes. Whenever I see a good quote I add it to my list for when it's my turn to share. I was looking through the list tonight and thought there were a few that fit into the principles of alanon: ¨Life's cha...	pineapple	8	1847	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sponsor Question (Preview) Hi! So i've started going to meetings and I know who I want to ask to be my sponsor. We have talked alot, and I know she's the one. She has been so awesome to me since I've met her, calling me every day, coming with me to meetings, and saying she will be there for me. We have a date on Monday to get coffee and talk....	Aimee	5	885	Apr 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks.	shimo	0	587	Apr 24, 2011 by shimo
	Having a Little Meltdown Tonight (Preview) Hey everyone. Just got the news that one of our friends....Well, I know her and didn't really have a problem with her. Well, she died tonight at quite a young age...early forties. She was one of my A's party buddies. I don't want to see anyone die. How tragic. I was listening to my A on the phone with...	stargal	12	776	Apr 24, 2011 by Bettina
	the brain and relapses (Preview) Hey everyone, in a post by Chelle 3, someone had mentioned in a reply how she read that: "Alcohol interferes with the dopamine pathways and the impulse control centers in the brain." Going on to say tthat this means things like choice and will power are effected. I've read about this and oth...	danielle0516	11	852	Apr 23, 2011 by Otie
	Here we go again (Preview) I was here last year. After weeks of my AF on a "bender" he got very sick, ran out of money, and went to detox. He then went to sober living for a little while, and then we moved in together. At six months sober, he was working his program and doing very well, started his own business etc. We decide...	katfshh	8	980	Apr 23, 2011 by katfshh
	Another Sponsor Question (Preview) Didn't want to hi-jack the other post. So here's goes mine on same topic, but different question. When you ask someone to be your sponsor, how much time are you asking that person to give you? Taking up their time is bothering me. But.... I haven't found someone that really feels right for me, even to...	GailMichelle	10	422	Apr 23, 2011 by GailMichelle
	addiction & effects on extended family. Looking for some ESH (Preview) My families' ignorant spewings of wisdom and "what needs to happen" continue to drive me nuts. Now, it's my sister. My mom has settled down, my sister has stepped it up, and I've recently found out (through my sister) that dad said something to the effect of I should have not intervened when...	danielle0516	12	1407	Apr 22, 2011 by danielle0516
	need help with anger and acceptance (Preview) So, I posted before...I found out last week my exabf has been seeing his ex. I'm still, 1 week later, going around in circles about this. Here is the thing. I have a LOT of anger about this. I've thrown pillows..I've kicked things..and I feel like I'm getting caught up in circular irrational thinking. B...	drummerchick423	16	887	Apr 22, 2011 by drummerchick423
	after the fleecing (Preview) As many of you have been here know the ex A (who I was with for more than 7 years) crashed the truck I had bought and eventually through a number of carefully crafted actions got all the money from the insurance company (he knew people who worked for a towing company). Its a long involved story and the ex...	maresie	5	934	Apr 22, 2011 by Jerry F
	Need advice on divorce with kids (Preview) I tend to give in and am seeing I am about to get ripped off in the divorce. I want the kids primary through the week and with him on the weekends, he wants 50/50 and no weekends is what he has gotten so far, so he can drink and party through the weekends and obviously he pays no child support. I am giving him the...	flopadopilus	8	1049	Apr 22, 2011 by Mattie
	we won! (Preview) i had to be in court with my ex-husband this week, over custody matters, after child abuse. i've been fighting this same case for 3 years! i was so scared!, he was right behind me. when he spoke, i didn't realize why i was afraid of him, he didn't even try. when i stood up to speak, i physically felt like a wal...	purpleraven	6	686	Apr 22, 2011 by youfoundme
	How do I know what is normal and what is not anymore??? (Preview) Hi there....haven't been here in a while but have been reading some. I've worked really hard on myself and getting away from the 3 years of hell from my ex-abf (now been apart for almost 2years). I am totally off all anxienty / depression meds thanks to Al-Anon and my exercise program!! However, I ha...	mslouise	6	901	Apr 22, 2011 by maresie
	Court today (Preview) AH and I had court today.. If you read my previous posts, then you know that CAS was taking us to court. Well... we have to have our own lawyers, and he has one, and I am still in the process, so had to use duty counsel. Needless to say, that was bull. She (duty counsel) read me what they wanted in the order, and...	Evian	4	601	Apr 22, 2011 by maresie
	RANDOMS (Preview) Am I crazy for wanting a normal fit life. I hate the circle I am in right now I am still angry at him then the next i love him and I am calling him.. Oh wow I have issues. I want to be wanted and loved and enjoyed.. I am tried of not feeling good enough or like i deserve this. I am so comfortable in my marriage I dont w...	pinkdaisy	6	873	Apr 22, 2011 by maresie
	Feigning Recovery and Marriage recovery marriage (Preview) HI Everyone, Thank you for the privilidge of allowing me to join your online forum! As you can see, I am new at this. I've been in Al-Anon for two years now. In that time, I have gotten married, and now have a baby. My husband has stopped and started drinking several times. My daughter and I are current...	KLotus	8	8239	Apr 22, 2011 by pinkchip
	4 years on new insights (Preview) Next week will be 4 years since I physically moved out from the now ex A. For more than a year after I moved out I had contact with him and had the same chaos/crisis/space that was pretty much part of our entire relationship. 4 years on my lfe is very very hard. The financial inpact of living with an end st...	maresie	5	767	Apr 22, 2011 by Ness
	paying for the sins of the A.. (Preview) I know the title is familiar to many. Trying to wrap my head around how all my efforts to protect myself a few years ago, really just postponed the inevitable while enabling my exAH and his A g/f at the same time. Bleh! I spent about 15K on a divorce, and now the reasons and the details behind them are nu...	Loupiness	5	857	Apr 21, 2011 by maresie
	One thing I can't understand about alcoholism.. (Preview) I know that understanding alcoholism is supposed to help us to better live with active a's. There is one element of alcoholism that I can't reconcile in my head as being a disease, that of being able to quit if your will is strong enough... Please let me tell you what's led up to this and why it's affecting...	Chelle3	25	6037	Apr 21, 2011 by maresie
	I might have an addiction?! (Preview) I feel there is something wrong with me. That I am in some way sick. I have an addiction. Me? I've never done drugs before in my life? Me? I don't even drink to get drunk - a few glass a year... My addiction seems to be in not caring for myself to the degree I should, but rather in devoting my energy to my husband...	tj	5	933	Apr 21, 2011 by glad lee
	rigid thinking? (Preview) Alot of what keeps me stuck is that I suffer rigid thinking, and also because I am a person that needs to understand how something works to beable to grasp the concept and so when it comes to something like an higher power, because I am wired the way I am, it is very difficult to trust something that I can't t...	Katy	4	790	Apr 21, 2011 by Freya
	Going crazy (Preview) Today after work I stopped by my exAH's (divorce won't be final until July) house to grab my daughter's bag, the girls were at my house. He says want to stop by tonight for a movie? I want to say no, but I say maybe let's see how the night goes. Then my girlfriend's mom died yesterday and I found out she is goi...	flopadopilus	6	681	Apr 21, 2011 by drummerchick423
	Help me with dealing with lying (Preview) My husband has been very active in recovery and had been doing very well. He is in two groups with a great bunch of Christian men. Last night, I suspected he had some alcohol. Not drunk, however, being around him for so many years that he got drunk, I know the signs. Speech not quite the same, some cra...	wifeofalcoholic	14	1657	Apr 20, 2011 by drummerchick423
	Update.....back on the radar (Preview) So my son has re-appeared, he's been spotted begging again. I'm led to believe he still has a roof over his head. He's in a right state. Its taken him 4 weeks to undo the 9 months of recovery he had, so back to the way he was and worse, seizures, self harm et al. My thoughts are swinging left and right over t...	Ness	6	660	Apr 20, 2011 by hotrod
	Thank You, Thank you (Preview) These boards are so comforting. I was so upset when I wrote my post and to see 15 posts with such wonderful information, advice and experiences has helped me so much. I love the lesson of "not asking questions when you already know the answer." I have done that in the past, but then my old se...	wifeofalcoholic	7	739	Apr 20, 2011 by John
	Child, marriage and thoughts on custody (Preview) Hi Again, In following up from my yesterday's post: The part regarding fear of either me having to leave, or him filing for divorce to punish me... In order for me to be able to make the best decisions in my best interest and my daughter's best interest (and ultimately my alcoholic husband's best inter...	KLotus	3	791	Apr 20, 2011 by Otie
	Some new discoveries (Preview) Now I am discovering more things about myself and my relationship with the A. For a short time now, he has respected not smoking around me. That is good. What I am now learning more about him. I think I was so concentrated on that, that I didn't realize that there are other things I don't like about him....	member922	3	667	Apr 20, 2011 by member922
	First Meeting tonight (Preview) Tonight I finally went to a meeting.. Lets just say it was intresting... I found the topic was on compasion... Hmmm this was my first meeting and not the meeting I wanted tonight... I left tonight empty and hollow.. I came home shaken not knowing how to handle all of the emotions Compassion is somethin...	pinkdaisy	10	832	Apr 20, 2011 by Otie
	Funny how we tend to forget the past... LONG (Preview) So I ran across an old external hard drive today and found a poem I started to write back in 2009 along with a journal I had started. It was a rough time dealing with a depressed drug/alcoholic/suicidal mother and depressed alcoholic/gaming husband. Reading my words from 2 years ago made me realize...	roonpugs	6	648	Apr 20, 2011 by roonpugs
	Mountain lady....in a dress.... (Preview) HI! Fell like I have been gone forever! It is BLUE sky absolutely beautiful up here! The moss on the trees looks so pretty in the sun. I have birds yelling at me from crows to stellars jays to get the dogs out of here. lol I do have lots of just bird areas I put food out. The river is almost azure again. I could no...	Debilyn	7	958	Apr 20, 2011 by Otie
	Please if anyone has any advice I need it (Preview) I am new to your site I am a wreck I have been with my ah for 24 years and have been married to him for 13 .He has been to two rehabs and we are bankrupt beacuse of his drinking which he blames me for the bankrupcy.I have dealt with the lies and the drinking trying to encourage him to stop in every way possible eve...	so very sad	12	1203	Apr 19, 2011 by so very sad
	No more free books.... :) (Preview) Hi all... just wanted to let the group know that I won't be able to continue giving away the free GTS books anymore - money is pretty tight around my place these days, and I just can't afford it.... I believe that I have two book remaining, and after those have been given away, I will take down the post at th...	canadianguy	6	1180	Apr 19, 2011 by Debilyn
	An Artifact of One of My Old Behaviors (Preview) I kept the house that my then-husband and I have lived in since 1989. The house has a huge garage, which was built to acommodate all his power tools, kayaks, and other man toys. Other than his gun safe, which was too darn heavy for him and a friend to move, occupies this mostly empty garage. I do park my ve...	GailMichelle	8	673	Apr 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Even my subconscious knows (Preview) I've been having a hard time because I've been revisiting a place where my ex and I were very happy. It's hard not to fall into the old thinking, "If only I..." "I bet I could have made it work if..." "If I had just explained to him how his behavior made me feel..." &qu...	Mattie	7	721	Apr 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	sobriety/relationships (Preview) Any ESH would be appreciated. My aprtner has been sober for 8 months 5 months in rehab and 3 in supported living alot of people around him are saying he shou;ld not have a relationship within the first two years of his sobriety. We have cooled things off. In al anon I am also being tole after a big slip th...	Tracy	7	3297	Apr 19, 2011 by Tracy
	AA meetings (Preview) Good afternoon friends! I haven't been to a f2f Al-anon meeting yet but I have been to a few AA meetings with my AH. It was a really great experience, and I heard a lot that rang true for me. Being a very shy, socially awkward person it was really comforting to go with my H and his sponsor and be kind of taken un...	Aimee	8	649	Apr 19, 2011 by Aimee
	moven up and staying today (Preview) Just wanted to tell you thank you for all your support during this time! Ya made me laugh and got me off my bum, helped me to understand things too. Son is on his way, I have all I need for the electric fence etc. I sure hope the dogs do ok. I have one area completely done for them, well Mac does. I was in Laundrom...	Debilyn	5	806	Apr 19, 2011 by DreamsOver
	"Forced" Recovery (Preview) I have felt led to post on this topic for a while now. It is controversial in a way, but I see it as a part of my ESH to share, and it may just help one person who doesn't know what he/she doesn't know. My exAH was drinking/using for many years and I just did not know it. Honestly, I just thought he was a jerk...	Loupiness	5	749	Apr 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	still uncertainty (Preview) Well... I am still going to CA I think. I had a big bout of not being sure if I wanted to go. I told my mom that I didn't & then changed my mind. The other question is: do they have a plan for me while I am there? It has been 9 days since I reported in to you all. I have been to see a new counselor who is OK but is not t...	Hoot Nanny	2	474	Apr 18, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Crazy making (Preview) Yesterday I was told (while I said nothing and walked away 5 separate times) the following: - AH is not worrying about me he is simply telling me what he doesn't find acceptable (I have said something like this to him for months now) about my behavior and is finally standing up for himself. - I don't see my...	RunnerMom	11	1009	Apr 18, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Weeks keep getting worse... (Preview) My AH is almost to week 3wks of sobriety and this week has been just horrible... I DO NOT know how to read him or react to him. He's burying himself into work again when he said he would put us (his family) first he is not, he is angry, depressed, grumpy, touchy, sad (I think) he won't really talk to me. Fo...	roonpugs	8	686	Apr 18, 2011 by Loupiness
	Pigeons ... taking things personally (Preview) RLC's reply on another thread reminded me of the Alanon reading about pigeons (can't remember if it's in Courage to Change or One Day at a Time). In a nutshell, just says that when you go to the park and sit under a tree with pigeons in it, and pigeons do what pigeons DO, you get pooped on. The pigeons aren...	White Rabbit	7	3777	Apr 17, 2011 by danielle0516
	not doing well without sponsor (Preview) i know it was just unfortunate timing but i need to transition to a new sponsor, my f2f won't be back til the end of the month and even then she is retiring from service work for a while at least. a bunch of crisis stuff happened literally just a day after she left for vacation and is unreachable. i am not doin...	purpleraven	4	751	Apr 17, 2011 by purpleraven
	article: Addiction, Lying and Relationships (Preview) Thought you all might find this helpful. It does a good job explaining why we often end up feeling mentally ill when in a relationshp with an addict/alcoholic. Addiction, Lies and Relationships Floyd P. Garrett, M.D. Addiction means always having to say you are sorry à and finally, when being sorry i...	drummerchick423	14	1411	Apr 17, 2011 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.