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Quotes
(Preview)
This may be off topic, or maybe not. I belong to another forum where members take turns sharing daily quotes. Whenever I see a good quote I add it to my list for when it's my turn to share. I was looking through the list tonight and thought there were a few that fit into the principles of alanon: ¨Life's cha...
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pineapple
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8
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1726
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Sponsor Question
(Preview)
Hi! So i've started going to meetings and I know who I want to ask to be my sponsor. We have talked alot, and I know she's the one. She has been so awesome to me since I've met her, calling me every day, coming with me to meetings, and saying she will be there for me. We have a date on Monday to get coffee and talk....
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Aimee
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5
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876
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MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING
(Preview)
I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair the meeting for me. Thanks.
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shimo
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0
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579
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Having a Little Meltdown Tonight
(Preview)
Hey everyone. Just got the news that one of our friends....Well, I know her and didn't really have a problem with her. Well, she died tonight at quite a young age...early forties. She was one of my A's party buddies. I don't want to see anyone die. How tragic. I was listening to my A on the phone with...
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stargal
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12
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768
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the brain and relapses
(Preview)
Hey everyone, in a post by Chelle 3, someone had mentioned in a reply how she read that: "Alcohol interferes with the dopamine pathways and the impulse control centers in the brain." Going on to say tthat this means things like choice and will power are effected. I've read about this and oth...
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danielle0516
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11
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842
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Here we go again
(Preview)
I was here last year. After weeks of my AF on a "bender" he got very sick, ran out of money, and went to detox. He then went to sober living for a little while, and then we moved in together. At six months sober, he was working his program and doing very well, started his own business etc. We decide...
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katfshh
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8
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965
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Another Sponsor Question
(Preview)
Didn't want to hi-jack the other post. So here's goes mine on same topic, but different question. When you ask someone to be your sponsor, how much time are you asking that person to give you? Taking up their time is bothering me. But.... I haven't found someone that really feels right for me, even to...
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GailMichelle
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10
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409
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addiction & effects on extended family. Looking for some ESH
(Preview)
My families' ignorant spewings of wisdom and "what needs to happen" continue to drive me nuts. Now, it's my sister. My mom has settled down, my sister has stepped it up, and I've recently found out (through my sister) that dad said something to the effect of I should have not intervened when...
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danielle0516
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12
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1395
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need help with anger and acceptance
(Preview)
So, I posted before...I found out last week my exabf has been seeing his ex. I'm still, 1 week later, going around in circles about this. Here is the thing. I have a LOT of anger about this. I've thrown pillows..I've kicked things..and I feel like I'm getting caught up in circular irrational thinking. B...
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drummerchick423
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16
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879
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after the fleecing
(Preview)
As many of you have been here know the ex A (who I was with for more than 7 years) crashed the truck I had bought and eventually through a number of carefully crafted actions got all the money from the insurance company (he knew people who worked for a towing company). Its a long involved story and the ex...
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maresie
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5
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926
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Need advice on divorce with kids
(Preview)
I tend to give in and am seeing I am about to get ripped off in the divorce. I want the kids primary through the week and with him on the weekends, he wants 50/50 and no weekends is what he has gotten so far, so he can drink and party through the weekends and obviously he pays no child support. I am giving him the...
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flopadopilus
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8
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1041
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we won!
(Preview)
i had to be in court with my ex-husband this week, over custody matters, after child abuse. i've been fighting this same case for 3 years! i was so scared!, he was right behind me. when he spoke, i didn't realize why i was afraid of him, he didn't even try. when i stood up to speak, i physically felt like a wal...
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purpleraven
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6
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678
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How do I know what is normal and what is not anymore???
(Preview)
Hi there....haven't been here in a while but have been reading some. I've worked really hard on myself and getting away from the 3 years of hell from my ex-abf (now been apart for almost 2years). I am totally off all anxienty / depression meds thanks to Al-Anon and my exercise program!! However, I ha...
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mslouise
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6
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893
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Court today
(Preview)
AH and I had court today.. If you read my previous posts, then you know that CAS was taking us to court. Well... we have to have our own lawyers, and he has one, and I am still in the process, so had to use duty counsel. Needless to say, that was bull. She (duty counsel) read me what they wanted in the order, and...
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Evian
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4
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592
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RANDOMS
(Preview)
Am I crazy for wanting a normal fit life. I hate the circle I am in right now I am still angry at him then the next i love him and I am calling him.. Oh wow I have issues. I want to be wanted and loved and enjoyed.. I am tried of not feeling good enough or like i deserve this. I am so comfortable in my marriage I dont w...
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pinkdaisy
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6
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864
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Feigning Recovery and Marriage
(Preview)
HI Everyone, Thank you for the privilidge of allowing me to join your online forum! As you can see, I am new at this. I've been in Al-Anon for two years now. In that time, I have gotten married, and now have a baby. My husband has stopped and started drinking several times. My daughter and I are current...
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KLotus
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8
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7645
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4 years on new insights
(Preview)
Next week will be 4 years since I physically moved out from the now ex A. For more than a year after I moved out I had contact with him and had the same chaos/crisis/space that was pretty much part of our entire relationship. 4 years on my lfe is very very hard. The financial inpact of living with an end st...
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maresie
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5
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759
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paying for the sins of the A..
(Preview)
I know the title is familiar to many. Trying to wrap my head around how all my efforts to protect myself a few years ago, really just postponed the inevitable while enabling my exAH and his A g/f at the same time. Bleh! I spent about 15K on a divorce, and now the reasons and the details behind them are nu...
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Loupiness
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5
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843
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One thing I can't understand about alcoholism..
(Preview)
I know that understanding alcoholism is supposed to help us to better live with active a's. There is one element of alcoholism that I can't reconcile in my head as being a disease, that of being able to quit if your will is strong enough... Please let me tell you what's led up to this and why it's affecting...
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Chelle3
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25
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5821
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I might have an addiction?!
(Preview)
I feel there is something wrong with me. That I am in some way sick. I have an addiction. Me? I've never done drugs before in my life? Me? I don't even drink to get drunk - a few glass a year... My addiction seems to be in not caring for myself to the degree I should, but rather in devoting my energy to my husband...
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tj
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5
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925
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rigid thinking?
(Preview)
Alot of what keeps me stuck is that I suffer rigid thinking, and also because I am a person that needs to understand how something works to beable to grasp the concept and so when it comes to something like an higher power, because I am wired the way I am, it is very difficult to trust something that I can't t...
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Katy
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4
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782
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Going crazy
(Preview)
Today after work I stopped by my exAH's (divorce won't be final until July) house to grab my daughter's bag, the girls were at my house. He says want to stop by tonight for a movie? I want to say no, but I say maybe let's see how the night goes. Then my girlfriend's mom died yesterday and I found out she is goi...
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flopadopilus
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6
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669
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Help me with dealing with lying
(Preview)
My husband has been very active in recovery and had been doing very well. He is in two groups with a great bunch of Christian men. Last night, I suspected he had some alcohol. Not drunk, however, being around him for so many years that he got drunk, I know the signs. Speech not quite the same, some cra...
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wifeofalcoholic
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14
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1643
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Update.....back on the radar
(Preview)
So my son has re-appeared, he's been spotted begging again. I'm led to believe he still has a roof over his head. He's in a right state. Its taken him 4 weeks to undo the 9 months of recovery he had, so back to the way he was and worse, seizures, self harm et al. My thoughts are swinging left and right over t...
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Ness
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6
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651
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Thank You, Thank you
(Preview)
These boards are so comforting. I was so upset when I wrote my post and to see 15 posts with such wonderful information, advice and experiences has helped me so much. I love the lesson of "not asking questions when you already know the answer." I have done that in the past, but then my old se...
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wifeofalcoholic
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7
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731
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Child, marriage and thoughts on custody
(Preview)
Hi Again, In following up from my yesterday's post: The part regarding fear of either me having to leave, or him filing for divorce to punish me... In order for me to be able to make the best decisions in my best interest and my daughter's best interest (and ultimately my alcoholic husband's best inter...
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KLotus
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3
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775
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Some new discoveries
(Preview)
Now I am discovering more things about myself and my relationship with the A. For a short time now, he has respected not smoking around me. That is good. What I am now learning more about him. I think I was so concentrated on that, that I didn't realize that there are other things I don't like about him....
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member922
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3
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658
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First Meeting tonight
(Preview)
Tonight I finally went to a meeting.. Lets just say it was intresting... I found the topic was on compasion... Hmmm this was my first meeting and not the meeting I wanted tonight... I left tonight empty and hollow.. I came home shaken not knowing how to handle all of the emotions Compassion is somethin...
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pinkdaisy
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10
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824
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Funny how we tend to forget the past... LONG
(Preview)
So I ran across an old external hard drive today and found a poem I started to write back in 2009 along with a journal I had started. It was a rough time dealing with a depressed drug/alcoholic/suicidal mother and depressed alcoholic/gaming husband. Reading my words from 2 years ago made me realize...
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roonpugs
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6
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636
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Mountain lady....in a dress....
(Preview)
HI! Fell like I have been gone forever! It is BLUE sky absolutely beautiful up here! The moss on the trees looks so pretty in the sun. I have birds yelling at me from crows to stellars jays to get the dogs out of here. lol I do have lots of just bird areas I put food out. The river is almost azure again. I could no...
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Debilyn
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7
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950
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Please if anyone has any advice I need it
(Preview)
I am new to your site I am a wreck I have been with my ah for 24 years and have been married to him for 13 .He has been to two rehabs and we are bankrupt beacuse of his drinking which he blames me for the bankrupcy.I have dealt with the lies and the drinking trying to encourage him to stop in every way possible eve...
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so very sad
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12
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1189
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No more free books.... :)
(Preview)
Hi all... just wanted to let the group know that I won't be able to continue giving away the free GTS books anymore - money is pretty tight around my place these days, and I just can't afford it.... I believe that I have two book remaining, and after those have been given away, I will take down the post at th...
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canadianguy
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6
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1173
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An Artifact of One of My Old Behaviors
(Preview)
I kept the house that my then-husband and I have lived in since 1989. The house has a huge garage, which was built to acommodate all his power tools, kayaks, and other man toys. Other than his gun safe, which was too darn heavy for him and a friend to move, occupies this mostly empty garage. I do park my ve...
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GailMichelle
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8
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665
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Even my subconscious knows
(Preview)
I've been having a hard time because I've been revisiting a place where my ex and I were very happy. It's hard not to fall into the old thinking, "If only I..." "I bet I could have made it work if..." "If I had just explained to him how his behavior made me feel..." &qu...
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Mattie
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7
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706
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sobriety/relationships
(Preview)
Any ESH would be appreciated. My aprtner has been sober for 8 months 5 months in rehab and 3 in supported living alot of people around him are saying he shou;ld not have a relationship within the first two years of his sobriety. We have cooled things off. In al anon I am also being tole after a big slip th...
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Tracy
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7
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3212
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AA meetings
(Preview)
Good afternoon friends! I haven't been to a f2f Al-anon meeting yet but I have been to a few AA meetings with my AH. It was a really great experience, and I heard a lot that rang true for me. Being a very shy, socially awkward person it was really comforting to go with my H and his sponsor and be kind of taken un...
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Aimee
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8
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635
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moven up and staying today
(Preview)
Just wanted to tell you thank you for all your support during this time! Ya made me laugh and got me off my bum, helped me to understand things too. Son is on his way, I have all I need for the electric fence etc. I sure hope the dogs do ok. I have one area completely done for them, well Mac does. I was in Laundrom...
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Debilyn
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5
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791
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"Forced" Recovery
(Preview)
I have felt led to post on this topic for a while now. It is controversial in a way, but I see it as a part of my ESH to share, and it may just help one person who doesn't know what he/she doesn't know. My exAH was drinking/using for many years and I just did not know it. Honestly, I just thought he was a jerk...
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Loupiness
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5
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740
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still uncertainty
(Preview)
Well... I am still going to CA I think. I had a big bout of not being sure if I wanted to go. I told my mom that I didn't & then changed my mind. The other question is: do they have a plan for me while I am there? It has been 9 days since I reported in to you all. I have been to see a new counselor who is OK but is not t...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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465
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Crazy making
(Preview)
Yesterday I was told (while I said nothing and walked away 5 separate times) the following: - AH is not worrying about me he is simply telling me what he doesn't find acceptable (I have said something like this to him for months now) about my behavior and is finally standing up for himself. - I don't see my...
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RunnerMom
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11
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1001
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Weeks keep getting worse...
(Preview)
My AH is almost to week 3wks of sobriety and this week has been just horrible... I DO NOT know how to read him or react to him. He's burying himself into work again when he said he would put us (his family) first he is not, he is angry, depressed, grumpy, touchy, sad (I think) he won't really talk to me. Fo...
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roonpugs
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8
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678
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Pigeons ... taking things personally
(Preview)
RLC's reply on another thread reminded me of the Alanon reading about pigeons (can't remember if it's in Courage to Change or One Day at a Time). In a nutshell, just says that when you go to the park and sit under a tree with pigeons in it, and pigeons do what pigeons DO, you get pooped on. The pigeons aren...
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White Rabbit
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7
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3554
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not doing well without sponsor
(Preview)
i know it was just unfortunate timing but i need to transition to a new sponsor, my f2f won't be back til the end of the month and even then she is retiring from service work for a while at least. a bunch of crisis stuff happened literally just a day after she left for vacation and is unreachable. i am not doin...
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purpleraven
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4
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737
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article: Addiction, Lying and Relationships
(Preview)
Thought you all might find this helpful. It does a good job explaining why we often end up feeling mentally ill when in a relationshp with an addict/alcoholic. Addiction, Lies and Relationships Floyd P. Garrett, M.D. Addiction means always having to say you are sorry ŕ and finally, when being sorry i...
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drummerchick423
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14
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1399
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NOTHING IS DIFFERENT
(Preview)
My "R"AH has a few weeks of sobriety strung together between periods of drinking a "few" beers (according to him- sure!). He talks a good game, pretends to or maybe is going to AA meetings a lot, has a therapist (who he tells me he sees to deal with my "abuse"?!). He is m...
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RunnerMom
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7
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1160
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Carolina Girl...
(Preview)
Watching the news and seeing the devastation of the tornadoes in North Carolina, and wondering how Carolina Girl is... Please let us know! Lou
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Loupiness
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1
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513
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Introduction
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I'm having quite a tough week. Well, more like a tough few months or even years. I have been with my partner for 10 years. He is alcoholic and sometimes drug user. Why I have stayed this long is beyond me. We've gone through the whole cycle of me kicking him out. Promises made, he come...
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stargal
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8
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672
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Prespective??, Precieve??
(Preview)
You Know it is Funny at times the Things I learn in al-anon /Life... resently I have went thru a few hurdles in my life, and tho some are Very Hurtful and Very Real... I have learned that when someone speaks of "Perspective" its funny the differance from one person to another in how they "...
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Jozie
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3
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1039
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Silent treatment
(Preview)
as anybody experienced the silent treatment? is it a "normal" behavior for an alcoholic? some days the AH talks non stop about Tv shows (yay!) and some days its complete silence. if i try to talk about hockey (big sport in canada) or kid or anything that might interest him i get silence. at f...
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Crazy Frog
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8
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4313
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Happy Weekend!!!
(Preview)
I am planning on a wonderful weekend. My "whatever" back and forth A will spend a little time together. I am going to take some time to myself rather than waste it getting irritated with him and his behavior. I will spend half with him and half on my own. Guess we are trying for the millionth t...
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member922
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8
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803
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Thanking Debilyn for her babies
(Preview)
Thanks Debilyn for the pictures of your sweet animals. I look forward to seeing them. My days have been so difficult lately---and just seeing them reconnects me to my soul for a brief moment. Gratefully, Otie.
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Otie
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3
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625
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Seeing recovery working for me
(Preview)
Me and my really long posts again... My HP really, REALLY wanted me to somehow, some way, get involved with the Big Island Bash this year - it's an AA convention with Al-Anon participation. The local AA district primarily puts this on and Al-Anon members volunteer to help out. We've known the Bash was c...
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Aloha
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1
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577
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Emotions running high with newly recovering AH
(Preview)
Hi All, So it has been just over two weeks since my AH or do I call him my RAH stopped drinking. He said he's going to try it for awhile and see if it makes a difference in how he feels etc. I just wanted to get some feedback on what other's have experienced when their alcoholic was quitting or attempting reco...
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roonpugs
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13
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798
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Made a good choice, but a broken record
(Preview)
So I decided to spend this evening at home alone. I just got home and called the A after work. Guess what?? Ugh, he sounded stoned stoned stoned! I am so glad that I stuck to my guns and stayed home instead of dealing with that crap firsthand. Now I am hesitant to go over there tomorrow. I CANNOT stand t...
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member922
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7
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766
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Feeling my crazies starting to build
(Preview)
My crazies. They are starting to kick in. I'm writing this out so I can see on the computer screen which is the least crazy option and maybe get some ESH from others. My gut is screaming that my AH is lying, lying, lying. My gut knows AH is planning either to hook up with his affair partner or to hide out an...
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Very Very Tired
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11
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801
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Functional Alcoholic
(Preview)
Sometimes you just feel so broken. You give EVERYTHING to something that falls apart and find yourself standing in the ruins trying to understand what went wrong. Functional Alcoholic. I think that is why so many of us end up in the mess we are in because at first we think the problems are normal couple p...
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likemyheart
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10
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2836
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Am going to say a bad word!
(Preview)
BORED!! I am freaking bored. sigh. I didn't even allow my kids or students to say that word! I have sat here as long as I can. Been reading a ton, that's cool. Everything that can be ready is. Pouring rain or I would do out and take my gliders apart.I love GREEN Oregon. This is crazy, a lot of you are in such tu...
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Debilyn
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4
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599
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Check it out!!
(Preview)
Aloha Family...just dropping off the address to the new Al-Anon e-site. My wife and I were scanning it today and it is much more up-beat. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Give it a gander. In support (((hugs)))
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Jerry F
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4
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971
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Need some advice...
(Preview)
Hi all, went to a great meeting tonight. Met a lot of new people which is always inspiring. It is a step meeting, and although I am still working on the first few steps, the group discussed step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I got t...
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Corgi2
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6
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647
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I need some help or suggestions...
(Preview)
I really don`t know how to condense this but I will try. I also don`t mean to be throwing everyone in the mental health field under the bus so to speak but this has been predominately my experience. My grandaughter who is now 7 had been in my custody when she was about 3. Her dad who had just gotten out of pris...
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Samsgram
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10
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882
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