The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today after work I stopped by my exAH's (divorce won't be final until July) house to grab my daughter's bag, the girls were at my house. He says want to stop by tonight for a movie? I want to say no, but I say maybe let's see how the night goes. Then my girlfriend's mom died yesterday and I found out she is going out tonight and I suddenly want to go out to a bar to see her and want to drink. I haven't drank in 7 years! I ran into my A's only drinking buddy in the grocery store parking lot only to have him draw me into a coversation about my AH and it was very inappropriate, i would never tell my A about it, but he triangulated things about my ex that he should have never said to me, than offered to hang out with me and keep it a secret for my sake, HUH?. Okay I am going crazy and losing faith in mankind and myself currently. It has been a slow climb of my in-laws turning on me to me isolating myself and now I feel like SCREAMING! I am fed up and overwhelmed. Trying to take it One Day at a Time, but the days seem to run together and I am very much wanting more from my life. Sorry I usually tey to be up beat but am in a mood tonight.
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
I am sorry for your struggles and problems right now, I feel them all to well.. just remind yourself "and this too shall pass" it won't always be this way. Hope is the best gift you can give yourself, and you will make it through.
It's ok to say no.. I struggle with this as well, being the co-dependent, feeling guilty, etc.. it's hard. My soon to be ex still constantly asks me to do things for him.. And I have to make myself say NO..
Draw your boundaries, and stick to them. once you have a finite line, and don't want it crossed, defend it, and don't move it for anyone. hugs.
It is hard. I think we're faced with opportunities to make the right choices (or not) every day. Until making the good choices becomes more automatic, it can be stressful every time. That's why we need to concentrate on our recovery so hard. You sound as if you have a lot of awareness! That's the crucial step. Keep on taking good care of yourself!
This to shall pass, thats something I find myself saying on days I have like the one your having....but its true.....it does pass. On challenging days I have to remember this and in challenging situations as well. Everything is subject to change, just because I feel one way today does not mean I will feel that way tomorrow or next week for that matter....this too shall pass...Hang tight and take it easy on days like that, they will pass......:)
I am sorry for your bad night. We all have them, but God has always promised a new day! I wake up refreshed and ready to start again. Do something for yourself - when I feel like you do, I get my nails done, get my hair done, go for a walk, go to a movie, read inspiring books, sit in the sun, get into my garden or do anything else that nurtures you and is good for you.
Sometimes journaling can help. We can remember how we overcame another stressful time in our lives.
Thanks everyone I made it through that day to wake up and feel refreshed, thank God! I really try not to isolate myself, but I am so vulnerable right now and like yesterday when I see a lot of people the day can and does go that way. I have to stop taking things so personally. When I get over tired I tend to get overwhelmed and make bad decisions. I didn't go out and drink atleast! I got to work on Let Go and Let God! Thanks for the support.
__________________
God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
Active alcoholics act impulsively and very often, immorally. My exabf's best drinking buddy came onto me after a party I invited him to. I was somewhat on the outs with my ex, so it wasn't TOTALLY a horrible thing to do. But it was still pretty slimy.
Now that same guy is in AA. And I'm sure he'd NEVER do anything like that.
But yeah, I know what you mean. Being in the middle of the madness of alcoholism makes you start to feel quite cynical about people.
flopadopilus wrote:
Today after work I stopped by my exAH's (divorce won't be final until July) house to grab my daughter's bag, the girls were at my house. He says want to stop by tonight for a movie? I want to say no, but I say maybe let's see how the night goes. Then my girlfriend's mom died yesterday and I found out she is going out tonight and I suddenly want to go out to a bar to see her and want to drink. I haven't drank in 7 years! I ran into my A's only drinking buddy in the grocery store parking lot only to have him draw me into a coversation about my AH and it was very inappropriate, i would never tell my A about it, but he triangulated things about my ex that he should have never said to me, than offered to hang out with me and keep it a secret for my sake, HUH?. Okay I am going crazy and losing faith in mankind and myself currently. It has been a slow climb of my in-laws turning on me to me isolating myself and now I feel like SCREAMING! I am fed up and overwhelmed. Trying to take it One Day at a Time, but the days seem to run together and I am very much wanting more from my life. Sorry I usually tey to be up beat but am in a mood tonight.
