Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

parfait624 · parfait624

It's been a few months since my A-BF broke up with me for what seems to be the 1000th time. I have gone through feelings of anxiety, saddness, betrayal, anger, and frustration. We broke up for a year and a half the first time. He was on his sixth step in AA when we got back together he had been sober from al...

GreenK · GreenK

I took some time to read some posts and replies and I'm already calming down. I was headed in a very bad direction about an hour ago and was in a pretty bad state of mind but I was able to pay attention to my thoughts. They were, "Really? Is this all there is? Are you kidding me?" And, "Wh...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I am frustrated with myself for slipping. Or maybe I am just frustrated. I just need to vent so stop reading if you arent up to hearing my venting! I was doing so well with focusing on self, not taking it personally, and staying centered. Then the AH had a couple days of interrogating me and then sile...

mslouise · mslouise

I have to remember to just breath today.......cause things have been great. My life has been great. Things with my new wonderful boyfriend are beyond my wildest dreams of what a man could be. Me....I'm stronger, Better, but I'm still a work in progress. I started to see a counselor about the speci...

sirchef · sirchef

Since we had such fun with acceptence here's another one Ican't get past. Hope we all need it to get through this mess. But isn't hope just another projection of our idea of reality? Or do we really just hope for something other than present reality and take what ever that may be? Is hope a projection?...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

STrange title but I never know what to call things. I had a moment yesterday where I realised that alot of my thinking is certainly 'past' based. I had a birthday banner up for a party that I had in April. Didn't want it taken down as I liked it. It was strung up withsticky tape between two poles which are c...

xeno59 · xeno59

I know I don't post to often although I love reading the posts and reply (causiously lol) when I think I may have something to offer and I attend our morning meetings on a daily basis. Should someone have told me 3 years ago that any online support group would have any benefit to me what so ever I would have...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I have to remember to "let go" when someone is doing something I don't like. I know that people are all individuals and that they can do as they wish, just as I do. When I let go of out comes, I can continue to live in this very moment instead of worrying and projecting about what "might&q...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

I need to share what is on my heart. The grief that I thought I had laid to rest has resurfaced this year. Here's my story: When my dad, due to his drinking, mental illness, and abusive behavior, became too unstable and unsafe for us to be in contact with, we cut our ties and lost touch with him for many yea...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Well the past few days have been interesting to say the least. The man that was released on Wednesday was not the man that went in their a month ago. I'm in shock. Completely. He's sweet, kind and giving. He's not starting arguements and he's asking to talk to me about things. He's been to an AA meeti...

KLotus · KLotus

Today has been very trying. I feel that if I don't reach out in times like this that I will feel isolated. So, today I spoke with my husband while at work, asking him to pick up our daughter because I may not be out in time, and it saves her the misery of having to be in 1.5 hours of traffic, which has been tou...

Gailey · Gailey

I wanted to post some of the good things that are happening in my life regarding my A son or should I really say sons. Yes, my son that is in the military and lives in Japan with his family has issues with alcohol too. I really wanted to post something so I could show off my new grandson born in Japan on 8/10 whi...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

I'm somewhat shocked. Wait, more than somewhat. It's more like struck by lightning, but not as "fry your flesh"-ey. I've been giving all of this my all. The advice, the steps, the traditions. . . slowly (As slowly and thoughtfully as I can). I've just been given a glimmer of hope, I think, th...

Ruby · Ruby

I'm so ashamed, I just allowed my al/ad daughter and her adult son, with anger management issues and drug abuse issues, to stay at my house until her apt. is ready on the 1st. I feel so bad that I wasn't able to continue my strong stance with "No." she did agree to go to aa meeting while they are...

chinup · chinup

what my mother always told us growing up,and i feel like that lonesome sooooo lonesome and wanting of a good companion,but scared to cause of falling into a codependent one or worse a alcoholic/ addict one ,lol not much to pick from huh,but im older and wiser now and know what works and what dont and will...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all, been a while. I have been so busy with working and bills bills bills! Just read a reminder in the blue book that its easy to forget how frantic you felt when you first came into AlAnon. When you have even a moment of serenity, its so easy to forget how frustrated and insane you felt. I know this happen...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

Sober AH has been bemoaning how much he hates AA, but he can't stop going because of how he thinks I'll treat him. He resents that he feels like he has to go (because of me, of course). I looked at him and said, "I don't give a &*%$ if you go. Go because you get something out of it, or because you enj...

Katy · Katy

Light bulb moment whoop whoop, it's that time of the month again when I thought I could be excused of myself because I usually am not at all myself, but today I can feel what I am feeling, our lad has been pressing my buttons big time, and he even tells me he is doing it as he does it, just as I begin to take the po...

Ruby · Ruby

I attempted to send a reply and closed appeared and the message wasn't sent. That was the 1st time that has happened to me, wondering if it was something I did wrong? Ruby!

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

When I'm feeling all mopey and gloomy, nothing irritates me more than a funny joke that makes me laugh when I don't want to. That being said, a coworker told me this joke last week, and it irritated me TWICE! Once when he told me right in the middle of me trying to indulge in feeling like a victim, and the...

Jennifer · Jennifer

As I mentioned in my previous post I am doing a medical treatment for the next couple weeks ... and I fully realize that I have a few thousand milligrams of steroids pumping through my brain and body right now. But my head is going to explode ... I was fine until my exAH showed up this morning to talk to me...

sirchef · sirchef

Struggle with this so much. Is there a fundamental difference between acceptance, resignation and giving up? Are they all exactly the same ? Just different in our mind set. Where we happen to be at this moment? Any thoughts?

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I lifted this quote (see below) from YFM's post. It was written by that guy up North -Tom. Well, as I grew in my recovery, I discovered the truth, and (of course) I couldn't fix anyone else, etc.... The cool thing was - Step 1 changed for me, from being "weak" to one that both empowered me, AN...

Ness · Ness

Morning all......just want to throw this around a bit....I value your support and feedback as you know.I feel change is in the air for my Ason, but what I dont know.He has been phoning off and on the last couple of weeks, just to talk to me, no demands, no poor me's, he accepts he is where he is because of his...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Step one . . . yep, still hung up on step one. Well, not intellectually -- in my mind I totally got it. Give up the power. Let go and let God. Half of it I have nailed. Solid as stone it fits in my soul like the last piece of an immense jigsaw puzzle. Click! True. My life has become unmanageable. That part is easy...

chinup · chinup

i dont understand how to start a date or have a date or keep it going with out letting them think im headoverheals in love at 1st site ive been dumped soo many times,it hurts,feeling unworthy and i dont know how to act i dont know how to say no and they have their way with me ,its like i feel their dominate and s...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Ok, so I got this contraption. It's really a spiffy, high-tech, thinga-ma-jobber. It's got whiz-bangits, and whamdoozles. So many whooza-whatsits, it's hard to know which doo-hickey activates all of its whatcha-jiggies. Alright, enough technical jargon. The really cool thing is what is DOE...

maresie · maresie

I grew up around people with no boundaries. My parents couldn't say "boo" to their relatives. Our uncles, cousins, neighbors came and stayed whenever they felt like it. One of my cousins friends came and lived with my mother for 2 years, rentfree, she fed him too. I resented the enmeshm...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I have no idea what posessed me this afternoon/this evening I have identified lately, that whenever I start to feel a bit of calmness, I go and do something to stir the pot??? I don't realise it until afterwards. I feel calm enough to have a calm discussion, so I do... it never is though!!! Well someti...

chinup · chinup

i do need some esh here cause i dont know whats healthy behavior is,ive just invited a handicapped guy to my home to stay for a week that ive been talking to on the internet on a dateing site ,ive never known what healthy is in my whole intire life when it comes to relationships all ive really learned is to st...

daisygirl · daisygirl

It has been a roller coaster ride from the beginning. I am stopping the ride and getting off for good. I have been in a relationship with my AB for just over 4 years now. I have begged, pleaded, tried to bribe, etc... for him to go to AA. He doesn't have a problem, I do! I deserve to be happy. I am not and I h...

chinup · chinup

thanx mattie,bud,crazy frog ruby and like my heart for all yalls esh and putting my head on right,this is something ive never addressed cause i never knew how ,i feel so much better now.takeing s-l-o-w-l-y is just what i needed to hear alsothis all was scareing me to death,although he is a super nice gu...

lasthope · lasthope

Other than deleting and starting over does anyone know how to change your name? Edit profile allows you to edit everything except your name. Thank you all.

Doozy · Doozy

Well, the update is I felt strong and calm from my Alanon, supportive friends, and personal growth - enough to break the ice with my roommate and let her know that the way she's treating me has really hurt my feelings. It made for a VERY difficult conversation, but that's just what we needed to get out of t...

Pushka · Pushka

I"m having a difficult time wrapping my brain around how much this whole SCRAM thing is costing financially the family. It does go straight back to the DUI. It really ticks me off that it was soooo avoidable and it does bring up past resentments. Which I am so entitled to, I just do not want to bea...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I am reading a book by John and Linda Friel called "Adult children The secrets of dysfunctional families" the last few chapters are great. Part III in particularly is speaking to me. The Denial, The Feelings, The Secrets, etc I have been doing a lot of nodding, and you know that funny so...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

Was going to post this at the end of my last weeks topic on depression but thought I would start a new one, since others might relate. Just got back to work today and saw the lovely posts from everyone. Wanted to thank you all for your words of comfort and support. I did have a really frustrating day on Fr...

Gailey · Gailey

I attended my first open AA meeting with my son on Sunday morning while the two of us shared a mother/son weekend at the beach. It was a very good meeting and I felt very welcomed. The leader came up to me outside of the meeting and thanked me for coming to support my son. She said that she wished more A's had...

Lindsayglu · Lindsayglu

How did I get here? I've been married to the same man for 33 years. He's been depressed and in treatment for about 15 and many times he self medicates with alcohol. I'm sure you've all seen the behavior, stumbling, mumbling,nasty drunk. I've tried to make excuses because of his mental illness but w...

GreenK · GreenK

Ok, I'm a relatively new member but I can honestly say that Alanon is changing and saving my life. I don't want to see meetings fall apart that could help others in need. I'm talking about hierarchial pyramid-style sponsorships, snubbing members, "grand" sponsors, (the WSO has said t...

Superhero No More · Superhero No More

Ok, there I was, reading Hawaiilover's post about the horrible meeting, mentally chewing on the words, thinking if there was any way I could relate, show support, or whatnot; meanwhile scrolling down through the responses sifting through the gems to see if there was one that shone bright for my sit...

Lyne · Lyne

My A spouse asked me if I loved her today. I said I did. I don't know if I do. I am a really honest person and it feels horrible to be dishonest. I can't feel the love anymore or right now and haven't been able to since about May. It could be that I've been too hurt, too disappointed, and lied to too many ti...

Doozy · Doozy

Thank God for Alanon! I don't know where I would be today without everything I've learned recently! I have been very challenged this weekend and am struggling a lot, but definitely doing much better than I would have in the past. I still see my A-exBF's children once in a while. We became very close ove...

Doozy · Doozy

This is pretty LONG, but it makes me feel better to write this out and share. Thank you for giving me a safe, supportive space for this! Well, I posted a few days ago that I had asked my friend and roommate to move out. We're both young, single professionals and it's tough to find a place to rent on your own a...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am feeling like I realize now I am powerless... and I go back to step 1 every day... but that yes, I am realizing that a power greater than me can restore me to sanity. I listened to a Mary Pearl pod cast in the bath tub last night. Well she was on the lap top, I was in the tub :) LOL... Anyway, it was amazing...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Do you discuss being in Al-Anon with your A? While I was posting my update, ABF sat next to me and I closed down the screen. He became "concerned" what I was doing. I explained (again) I was involved in an Al-Anon message board. He made the comment that he didn't understand WHY I needed t...

KLotus · KLotus

I am up at 1:00am after hearing my husband who was talking on the phone outside, under the bedroom window. From the bit I heard, he was discussing all of the issues he has that he's upset about, and then referred to me as a "nutcase." I would never talk about him so disrespectfully, which is w...

Anne01 · Anne01

My issue now is I have a 43 year old brother who is in rehab for the 3rd or 4th time, has 9 DUI's, running from police, been tasered x2, driving while license suspended, etc. He wants to come stay with me til he is able to get his own place. My heart sank when he asked me this. Even though I let him do this 2 or 3 t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi guys, just wanted to let you all know that my husband's depression is sooooo much better. He was put on Paxil and Trazadone (for sleep) for his issues which basically are depression, anxiety, PTSD, and a host of other issues we were dealing with. He is much better but his personality itself hasn't...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI Its is day 7 (tuesday), of me not checking up on my husband smoking pot. I will qualify that by saying, I have not looked into his pot drawer to see if he has had a smoke, and then waited for him to lie to me about it. Ihave done this for 6 and a half days conisently. Hopefully I will make it to complete this...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I broke I checked He smoked He lied

Pushka · Pushka

I really, really, really, really (have I already said really?) hate facebook today. I have a love/ hate relationship with facebook. I'll be back to loving it soon enough. Especially when my crops on fronterville are ready .. lol. As unfair as it is for me to say this it's the truth .. I'm ok with face...

maresie · maresie

I left the now Ex A almost 5 years ago (next year it will be 5)..... Changing behavior since then has been a long hard road. I meet people all the time who are dysfunctional/addicts. How I respond to them has evolved. I don't necessarily have the red flagarometer because I grew up in addiciton/madnes...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

Life sure is a rollercoaster!!! Still struggling to find that balance but handling things much better than ever thanks to Al-Anon. I passed the NCLEX yay!! Starting school to get my RN at the end of August. I lost my JOB :( and currently not receiving ANY financial assistance from AH. I'm not even broke...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

After months of reading, visiting this board and working on myself I finally went to a f2f meeting. Wanted to share for others that have never been but want to go. It was not what I expected. I don't know what I thought it would be. We spent very little time talking about the addicts in our life, we talked ab...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Just want to vent today. Have not been feeling emotionally well today. Feeling a bit frustrated about things: family, job, my weekly Alanon meeting, and hosts of other things. Went to a meeting tonite and the meeting was conversational style. Cross talk was really up and happening throughout the me...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Ugh, I need to do some medical treatments for a few weeks that cause mood and personality changes at times. In person I manage well but when I write I have a bit less .... let's call it tact? I refrain from posting during these treatments because my true personality and thoughts are not well represented...

pineapple · pineapple

Tom, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I hope you have an excellent day, you deserve it!

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I still feel the need to update this board on each day. Yesterday I was feeling really low. You know I think people like us become a tad psychic (or psycho as my mother would say). I had a feeling yesterday that something 'odd' was happening. Anyway, I got home before him. Usually I woudl come strai...

Lizabelle123 · Lizabelle123

My AH had an accident a little over a month ago while seriously intoxicated and got pretty banged up. He's been sober ever since, joined a Smart Recovery program (he is an atheist so he has a really hard time with AA), sees a therapist and goes to meetings. He seems to be doing really well but I know he stl...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Words can create abuse just like fists (Preview) It's been a few months since my A-BF broke up with me for what seems to be the 1000th time. I have gone through feelings of anxiety, saddness, betrayal, anger, and frustration. We broke up for a year and a half the first time. He was on his sixth step in AA when we got back together he had been sober from al...	parfait624	14	704	Aug 19, 2011 by linbaba
	Taking a minute here instead of blowing up (Preview) I took some time to read some posts and replies and I'm already calming down. I was headed in a very bad direction about an hour ago and was in a pretty bad state of mind but I was able to pay attention to my thoughts. They were, "Really? Is this all there is? Are you kidding me?" And, "Wh...	GreenK	3	413	Aug 19, 2011 by GreenK
	how quickly I go backward-venting (Preview) I am frustrated with myself for slipping. Or maybe I am just frustrated. I just need to vent so stop reading if you arent up to hearing my venting! I was doing so well with focusing on self, not taking it personally, and staying centered. Then the AH had a couple days of interrogating me and then sile...	oldgraduate	7	362	Aug 19, 2011 by Pushka
	Just Breath... (Preview) I have to remember to just breath today.......cause things have been great. My life has been great. Things with my new wonderful boyfriend are beyond my wildest dreams of what a man could be. Me....I'm stronger, Better, but I'm still a work in progress. I started to see a counselor about the speci...	mslouise	6	376	Aug 19, 2011 by hotrod
	hope (Preview) Since we had such fun with acceptence here's another one Ican't get past. Hope we all need it to get through this mess. But isn't hope just another projection of our idea of reality? Or do we really just hope for something other than present reality and take what ever that may be? Is hope a projection?...	sirchef	8	505	Aug 19, 2011 by abbyal
	peeling paint (Preview) STrange title but I never know what to call things. I had a moment yesterday where I realised that alot of my thinking is certainly 'past' based. I had a birthday banner up for a party that I had in April. Didn't want it taken down as I liked it. It was strung up withsticky tape between two poles which are c...	Lindaoakford	5	785	Aug 19, 2011 by pinkchip
	Reaping the benefits of our online message board and online meetings (Preview) I know I don't post to often although I love reading the posts and reply (causiously lol) when I think I may have something to offer and I attend our morning meetings on a daily basis. Should someone have told me 3 years ago that any online support group would have any benefit to me what so ever I would have...	xeno59	7	485	Aug 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	Let go... (Preview) I have to remember to "let go" when someone is doing something I don't like. I know that people are all individuals and that they can do as they wish, just as I do. When I let go of out comes, I can continue to live in this very moment instead of worrying and projecting about what "might&q...	youfoundme	6	483	Aug 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	Grieving (Preview) I need to share what is on my heart. The grief that I thought I had laid to rest has resurfaced this year. Here's my story: When my dad, due to his drinking, mental illness, and abusive behavior, became too unstable and unsafe for us to be in contact with, we cut our ties and lost touch with him for many yea...	BlueCloud	8	592	Aug 19, 2011 by xeno59
	A little update.... (Preview) Well the past few days have been interesting to say the least. The man that was released on Wednesday was not the man that went in their a month ago. I'm in shock. Completely. He's sweet, kind and giving. He's not starting arguements and he's asking to talk to me about things. He's been to an AA meeti...	ELEKTRAWMN	8	466	Aug 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	Afraid (Preview) Today has been very trying. I feel that if I don't reach out in times like this that I will feel isolated. So, today I spoke with my husband while at work, asking him to pick up our daughter because I may not be out in time, and it saves her the misery of having to be in 1.5 hours of traffic, which has been tou...	KLotus	19	758	Aug 19, 2011 by Ness
	feeling good about things for a change (Preview) I wanted to post some of the good things that are happening in my life regarding my A son or should I really say sons. Yes, my son that is in the military and lives in Japan with his family has issues with alcohol too. I really wanted to post something so I could show off my new grandson born in Japan on 8/10 whi...	Gailey	6	468	Aug 19, 2011 by hotrod
	Could it be? (Preview) I'm somewhat shocked. Wait, more than somewhat. It's more like struck by lightning, but not as "fry your flesh"-ey. I've been giving all of this my all. The advice, the steps, the traditions. . . slowly (As slowly and thoughtfully as I can). I've just been given a glimmer of hope, I think, th...	Superhero No More	4	481	Aug 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	I just relapsed, help!!! (Preview) I'm so ashamed, I just allowed my al/ad daughter and her adult son, with anger management issues and drug abuse issues, to stay at my house until her apt. is ready on the 1st. I feel so bad that I wasn't able to continue my strong stance with "No." she did agree to go to aa meeting while they are...	Ruby	8	590	Aug 18, 2011 by Ruby
	lonesomeness will eat u up and spit u out at the same time (Preview) what my mother always told us growing up,and i feel like that lonesome sooooo lonesome and wanting of a good companion,but scared to cause of falling into a codependent one or worse a alcoholic/ addict one ,lol not much to pick from huh,but im older and wiser now and know what works and what dont and will...	chinup	4	421	Aug 18, 2011 by Pushka
	Newcomers (Preview) Hi all, been a while. I have been so busy with working and bills bills bills! Just read a reminder in the blue book that its easy to forget how frantic you felt when you first came into AlAnon. When you have even a moment of serenity, its so easy to forget how frustrated and insane you felt. I know this happen...	Corgi2	3	524	Aug 18, 2011 by MrsHennepope
	Got one right! (Preview) Sober AH has been bemoaning how much he hates AA, but he can't stop going because of how he thinks I'll treat him. He resents that he feels like he has to go (because of me, of course). I looked at him and said, "I don't give a &*%$ if you go. Go because you get something out of it, or because you enj...	Hot Chicka	2	386	Aug 18, 2011 by xeno59
	self awareness, who me? (Preview) Light bulb moment whoop whoop, it's that time of the month again when I thought I could be excused of myself because I usually am not at all myself, but today I can feel what I am feeling, our lad has been pressing my buttons big time, and he even tells me he is doing it as he does it, just as I begin to take the po...	Katy	3	858	Aug 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	unable to submit reply (Preview) I attempted to send a reply and closed appeared and the message wasn't sent. That was the 1st time that has happened to me, wondering if it was something I did wrong? Ruby!	Ruby	2	384	Aug 18, 2011 by abbyal
	Need a Boost? (Preview) When I'm feeling all mopey and gloomy, nothing irritates me more than a funny joke that makes me laugh when I don't want to. That being said, a coworker told me this joke last week, and it irritated me TWICE! Once when he told me right in the middle of me trying to indulge in feeling like a victim, and the...	Superhero No More	5	431	Aug 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	Nowhere else to go with this at the moment (Preview) As I mentioned in my previous post I am doing a medical treatment for the next couple weeks ... and I fully realize that I have a few thousand milligrams of steroids pumping through my brain and body right now. But my head is going to explode ... I was fine until my exAH showed up this morning to talk to me...	Jennifer	7	416	Aug 18, 2011 by Ness
	acceptance (Preview) Struggle with this so much. Is there a fundamental difference between acceptance, resignation and giving up? Are they all exactly the same ? Just different in our mind set. Where we happen to be at this moment? Any thoughts?	sirchef	11	1332	Aug 18, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Twisted Thinking - Phew! Caught it In time! (Preview) I lifted this quote (see below) from YFM's post. It was written by that guy up North -Tom. Well, as I grew in my recovery, I discovered the truth, and (of course) I couldn't fix anyone else, etc.... The cool thing was - Step 1 changed for me, from being "weak" to one that both empowered me, AN...	GailMichelle	9	484	Aug 18, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Sick & tired, change is in the air.....but what? (Preview) Morning all......just want to throw this around a bit....I value your support and feedback as you know.I feel change is in the air for my Ason, but what I dont know.He has been phoning off and on the last couple of weeks, just to talk to me, no demands, no poor me's, he accepts he is where he is because of his...	Ness	8	455	Aug 18, 2011 by Ness
	Rambling on while sitting still (Preview) Step one . . . yep, still hung up on step one. Well, not intellectually -- in my mind I totally got it. Give up the power. Let go and let God. Half of it I have nailed. Solid as stone it fits in my soul like the last piece of an immense jigsaw puzzle. Click! True. My life has become unmanageable. That part is easy...	Superhero No More	11	423	Aug 18, 2011 by likemyheart
	jumping in feet 1st,and uhaul next (Preview) i dont understand how to start a date or have a date or keep it going with out letting them think im headoverheals in love at 1st site ive been dumped soo many times,it hurts,feeling unworthy and i dont know how to act i dont know how to say no and they have their way with me ,its like i feel their dominate and s...	chinup	8	628	Aug 18, 2011 by likemyheart
	My Contraption (Preview) Ok, so I got this contraption. It's really a spiffy, high-tech, thinga-ma-jobber. It's got whiz-bangits, and whamdoozles. So many whooza-whatsits, it's hard to know which doo-hickey activates all of its whatcha-jiggies. Alright, enough technical jargon. The really cool thing is what is DOE...	Superhero No More	5	540	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	boundaries sadness is progress (Preview) I grew up around people with no boundaries. My parents couldn't say "boo" to their relatives. Our uncles, cousins, neighbors came and stayed whenever they felt like it. One of my cousins friends came and lived with my mother for 2 years, rentfree, she fed him too. I resented the enmeshm...	maresie	5	607	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Not sure what to call this (Preview) I have no idea what posessed me this afternoon/this evening I have identified lately, that whenever I start to feel a bit of calmness, I go and do something to stir the pot??? I don't realise it until afterwards. I feel calm enough to have a calm discussion, so I do... it never is though!!! Well someti...	Lindaoakford	6	464	Aug 17, 2011 by oldergal
	disfunctional behavior (Preview) i do need some esh here cause i dont know whats healthy behavior is,ive just invited a handicapped guy to my home to stay for a week that ive been talking to on the internet on a dateing site ,ive never known what healthy is in my whole intire life when it comes to relationships all ive really learned is to st...	chinup	6	594	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Codependent no more! (Preview) It has been a roller coaster ride from the beginning. I am stopping the ride and getting off for good. I have been in a relationship with my AB for just over 4 years now. I have begged, pleaded, tried to bribe, etc... for him to go to AA. He doesn't have a problem, I do! I deserve to be happy. I am not and I h...	daisygirl	4	2761	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	thanx for all the esh on dateing,with jumping in both feet 1st (closed) (Preview) thanx mattie,bud,crazy frog ruby and like my heart for all yalls esh and putting my head on right,this is something ive never addressed cause i never knew how ,i feel so much better now.takeing s-l-o-w-l-y is just what i needed to hear alsothis all was scareing me to death,although he is a super nice gu...	chinup	1	465	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Does anyone know how to change your name? (Preview) Other than deleting and starting over does anyone know how to change your name? Edit profile allows you to edit everything except your name. Thank you all.	lasthope	2	295	Aug 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Update and new Definition of Addiction (Preview) Well, the update is I felt strong and calm from my Alanon, supportive friends, and personal growth - enough to break the ice with my roommate and let her know that the way she's treating me has really hurt my feelings. It made for a VERY difficult conversation, but that's just what we needed to get out of t...	Doozy	12	844	Aug 17, 2011 by DadtoCandE
	Crabby .. (Preview) I"m having a difficult time wrapping my brain around how much this whole SCRAM thing is costing financially the family. It does go straight back to the DUI. It really ticks me off that it was soooo avoidable and it does bring up past resentments. Which I am so entitled to, I just do not want to bea...	Pushka	5	678	Aug 17, 2011 by Pushka
	reading a book and rang about meetings (Preview) Hi I am reading a book by John and Linda Friel called "Adult children The secrets of dysfunctional families" the last few chapters are great. Part III in particularly is speaking to me. The Denial, The Feelings, The Secrets, etc I have been doing a lot of nodding, and you know that funny so...	Lindaoakford	3	291	Aug 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Fluctuate between Feelings of Depression and Anxiety (Preview) Was going to post this at the end of my last weeks topic on depression but thought I would start a new one, since others might relate. Just got back to work today and saw the lovely posts from everyone. Wanted to thank you all for your words of comfort and support. I did have a really frustrating day on Fr...	oldgraduate	9	752	Aug 17, 2011 by oldgraduate
	my first AA meeting (Preview) I attended my first open AA meeting with my son on Sunday morning while the two of us shared a mother/son weekend at the beach. It was a very good meeting and I felt very welcomed. The leader came up to me outside of the meeting and thanked me for coming to support my son. She said that she wished more A's had...	Gailey	10	558	Aug 17, 2011 by NovSun
	I know I'm smart but I'm feeling stupid (Preview) How did I get here? I've been married to the same man for 33 years. He's been depressed and in treatment for about 15 and many times he self medicates with alcohol. I'm sure you've all seen the behavior, stumbling, mumbling,nasty drunk. I've tried to make excuses because of his mental illness but w...	Lindsayglu	6	624	Aug 17, 2011 by Lindsayglu
	Shenanigans at Alanon meetings (Preview) Ok, I'm a relatively new member but I can honestly say that Alanon is changing and saving my life. I don't want to see meetings fall apart that could help others in need. I'm talking about hierarchial pyramid-style sponsorships, snubbing members, "grand" sponsors, (the WSO has said t...	GreenK	13	2264	Aug 17, 2011 by GreenK
	Dinner Time for My Soul (Preview) Ok, there I was, reading Hawaiilover's post about the horrible meeting, mentally chewing on the words, thinking if there was any way I could relate, show support, or whatnot; meanwhile scrolling down through the responses sifting through the gems to see if there was one that shone bright for my sit...	Superhero No More	6	484	Aug 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	I lied today (Preview) My A spouse asked me if I loved her today. I said I did. I don't know if I do. I am a really honest person and it feels horrible to be dishonest. I can't feel the love anymore or right now and haven't been able to since about May. It could be that I've been too hurt, too disappointed, and lied to too many ti...	Lyne	9	607	Aug 17, 2011 by Jerry F
	Working it hard as I can today! (Preview) Thank God for Alanon! I don't know where I would be today without everything I've learned recently! I have been very challenged this weekend and am struggling a lot, but definitely doing much better than I would have in the past. I still see my A-exBF's children once in a while. We became very close ove...	Doozy	3	442	Aug 16, 2011 by Doozy
	Asked roommate to move out (Preview) This is pretty LONG, but it makes me feel better to write this out and share. Thank you for giving me a safe, supportive space for this! Well, I posted a few days ago that I had asked my friend and roommate to move out. We're both young, single professionals and it's tough to find a place to rent on your own a...	Doozy	4	707	Aug 16, 2011 by Doozy
	Accepting me for me (Preview) I am feeling like I realize now I am powerless... and I go back to step 1 every day... but that yes, I am realizing that a power greater than me can restore me to sanity. I listened to a Mary Pearl pod cast in the bath tub last night. Well she was on the lap top, I was in the tub :) LOL... Anyway, it was amazing...	youfoundme	8	527	Aug 16, 2011 by Doozy
	Another question...... (Preview) Do you discuss being in Al-Anon with your A? While I was posting my update, ABF sat next to me and I closed down the screen. He became "concerned" what I was doing. I explained (again) I was involved in an Al-Anon message board. He made the comment that he didn't understand WHY I needed t...	ELEKTRAWMN	9	543	Aug 16, 2011 by sookie
	Bothered (Preview) I am up at 1:00am after hearing my husband who was talking on the phone outside, under the bedroom window. From the bit I heard, he was discussing all of the issues he has that he's upset about, and then referred to me as a "nutcase." I would never talk about him so disrespectfully, which is w...	KLotus	14	607	Aug 16, 2011 by KLotus
	LET GO AND LET GOD OR HELP? (Preview) My issue now is I have a 43 year old brother who is in rehab for the 3rd or 4th time, has 9 DUI's, running from police, been tasered x2, driving while license suspended, etc. He wants to come stay with me til he is able to get his own place. My heart sank when he asked me this. Even though I let him do this 2 or 3 t...	Anne01	10	571	Aug 16, 2011 by sookie
	Taking anti-depressants and drinking (Preview) Hi guys, just wanted to let you all know that my husband's depression is sooooo much better. He was put on Paxil and Trazadone (for sleep) for his issues which basically are depression, anxiety, PTSD, and a host of other issues we were dealing with. He is much better but his personality itself hasn't...	ilovedogs	9	444	Aug 16, 2011 by Bettina
	perhaps this is what calm feels like? (Preview) HI Its is day 7 (tuesday), of me not checking up on my husband smoking pot. I will qualify that by saying, I have not looked into his pot drawer to see if he has had a smoke, and then waited for him to lie to me about it. Ihave done this for 6 and a half days conisently. Hopefully I will make it to complete this...	Lindaoakford	11	427	Aug 16, 2011 by Superhero No More
	Didn't make it to the end of day 7 (Preview) I broke I checked He smoked He lied	Lindaoakford	14	551	Aug 16, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	I hate facebook .. (Preview) I really, really, really, really (have I already said really?) hate facebook today. I have a love/ hate relationship with facebook. I'll be back to loving it soon enough. Especially when my crops on fronterville are ready .. lol. As unfair as it is for me to say this it's the truth .. I'm ok with face...	Pushka	12	824	Aug 16, 2011 by robind78
	changing behavior (Preview) I left the now Ex A almost 5 years ago (next year it will be 5)..... Changing behavior since then has been a long hard road. I meet people all the time who are dysfunctional/addicts. How I respond to them has evolved. I don't necessarily have the red flagarometer because I grew up in addiciton/madnes...	maresie	7	506	Aug 16, 2011 by canadianguy
	The Ups and Downs (Preview) Life sure is a rollercoaster!!! Still struggling to find that balance but handling things much better than ever thanks to Al-Anon. I passed the NCLEX yay!! Starting school to get my RN at the end of August. I lost my JOB :( and currently not receiving ANY financial assistance from AH. I'm not even broke...	Betterfuture	12	696	Aug 16, 2011 by canadianguy
	First Meeting Thoughts (Preview) After months of reading, visiting this board and working on myself I finally went to a f2f meeting. Wanted to share for others that have never been but want to go. It was not what I expected. I don't know what I thought it would be. We spent very little time talking about the addicts in our life, we talked ab...	surfgirl123	8	359	Aug 16, 2011 by Chrystyne
	Feeling Overwhelmed Today (Preview) Just want to vent today. Have not been feeling emotionally well today. Feeling a bit frustrated about things: family, job, my weekly Alanon meeting, and hosts of other things. Went to a meeting tonite and the meeting was conversational style. Cross talk was really up and happening throughout the me...	hawaiilover	10	617	Aug 16, 2011 by odalis
	My Absent Note (Preview) Ugh, I need to do some medical treatments for a few weeks that cause mood and personality changes at times. In person I manage well but when I write I have a bit less .... let's call it tact? I refrain from posting during these treatments because my true personality and thoughts are not well represented...	Jennifer	8	687	Aug 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Happy birthday canadianguy (Preview) Tom, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I hope you have an excellent day, you deserve it!	pineapple	19	524	Aug 16, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Yesterday (Preview) Hi I still feel the need to update this board on each day. Yesterday I was feeling really low. You know I think people like us become a tad psychic (or psycho as my mother would say). I had a feeling yesterday that something 'odd' was happening. Anyway, I got home before him. Usually I woudl come strai...	Lindaoakford	10	555	Aug 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Is it wrong to consider leaving? (Preview) My AH had an accident a little over a month ago while seriously intoxicated and got pretty banged up. He's been sober ever since, joined a Smart Recovery program (he is an atheist so he has a really hard time with AA), sees a therapist and goes to meetings. He seems to be doing really well but I know he stl...	Lizabelle123	11	3019	Aug 16, 2011 by Too hard
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.