The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
ok, so my 15 year old has her friend over, and the 7 year old does too. They are playing Wii, AH was drinking, and I tell everyone I am going out be back in a little while. AH was on teh phone during this so he was not paying attention. I turned my phone volume all the way down to not be interrupted during the meeting and not be rude. The meeting finished at 8:30, and I check my phone, Message #1: From my daughter 8:15 pm: Are you almost done? Message #2 from my daughter 8:28: Are you almost done?
Me: Yes, why,
Daughter: No reason, dad was wondering where you were, he thought you went to the supermarket
Me: 8:42 pm: Be there in a few
daughte: Well be prepared to have words, that's all im gonna say, I am going to bed.
So I get home, AH has a shopping bag packed and starts mumbling under his breath some nonsense, asks me to call him a cab. He said I didn't tell him where I was going and I just decide to dissapear. I told him I was at Alanon, so he starts shaking his head. He said I was supposed to tell him where I was going...I am not SUPPOSED to tell him anything. Anyway, it started to escalate, so I started cleaning the kitchen. I told him I would give him the number for the cab and he could call. then he said, no drive me to the train station, I said No I am not driving you. (My car is in teh shop, so we only have one car at the moment) He says< Im gonna give you $100 and I'm taking the car, I said: You can take the car if you want, I will take the bus, I don't need the money. This went on for about 15 minutes, then he tried to threaten me: Well, you're either gonna drive me to the train station or I'm taking the car. I said I was not driving him and he "left" in the car. 15 minutes later he comes back and starts mumbling under his breath again. He made his own tacos and went to sleep. I was crying, My 15 year old was awake of course, those 15 minutes he left we had a great 5 minute hug and cried on each other. I explained to her everything. She knows. As I suspected, she has known all along!! I knew that but never found a way to really come out and tell her. I explained to her I have been going to Alanon, which she did not know. I talked to her about Alateen and she did show interest which I thought she would not, but she is open to the idea, especially since I told her she did not have to say anything, just listen. She asked me so many questions, it made me feel good she was asking about Alanon and what I talk about and if I ever share, She asked where it was and how old the people were. I spoke from my heart and she understood. I talked to her positively about her father and tried to give her the Dr. Jeckel (sp?) and Mr. Hide analogy about alcoholism and her father, she wasn't saying anything, and I said Please just say something: and she said "I know mom, I know we're not happy, this isn't happy and it's not normal"
That was all I needed to hear.
I am done, I am telling him to leave tomorrow. Wish me luck. I feel like this was a calling...just hearing her say that, something I knew all along
I'm sending you prayers of love and support during this time.
Hugs again, P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I asked him to leave today. He was very defensive. He didn't want to let me finish what I wanted to say. He kept interrupting me. It was so frustrating. I told him we need a few months apart. i told him I love him, but cannot do this to myself and my kids. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't even remember what he said last night, except when he went out he was "dizzy" and knows if he had gotten on the highway he would have had an accident and decided to come back home. I toldhim I was glad he made a good choice, but none of that mattered now. I said I need time to figure out what to do with my life and figure out if this is gonna work for me. I cried for 5 seconds! that was interesting. he turned his back on me literally and that's when I knew the conversation was over. I said my piece, it is his choice whether he wants to listen or not. Of course that does not take away the feeling of frustration I had. he's leaving in a week or so...my dad is coming for a few days from PR and he wants to see him so he's leaving when my dad goes back home. Thank you all for your thoughts!
