Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

amills4294 · amills4294

I am so guilty of this. I keep trying to belive that somewhere in my spouse is the love, consideration, affection for me that I see him show others. Maybe that's why it is so very difficult. As an ACoA I have a real problem with this because this is exactly how my Mom treated me growing up. I am still so hu...

Annette678 · Annette678

10 days ago I caught my husband of 13 years using methadone. He breaks down and tells me he's secretly been addicted to opiates (pills, not heroin) for years and was now trying to get clean. I was completely shocked as I had no idea. He does not abuse alcohol. -I think I've seen him drunk 2-3 times in 18 year...

Rose50 · Rose50

I will be spending Christmas at my daughter's and she has invited her brother for dinner, my son who is an active A. I have been working the Al-Anon program and doing well with detaching. It will be a difficult situation for me if he shows up and has obviously been drinking. I will want to leave and distanc...

kris10 · kris10

So yesterday I got a call from my A.. Asking if he can come over to give me some money he owes me. He gave me quite a bit based on the fact that he has had money for a week now and hasnt spent it all yet.. He also gave my son a twenty (he took 12$ from him). So my son got paid back plus a little more.. So this is where I am...

serenityseeker1 · serenityseeker1

Hi all,I have recently shared and touched upon this subject. But I would like to start a topic on this with the hope of hearing others experiances and ideas. My abf has been prescribed a strong dose of anti depressants a month ago without telling me. At the moment he is still on another prescription whic...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I apologize for the smell. See, my husband is an alcoholic and he can't sit through a movie without a drink. Yes, I know he was sneaking to the bathroom to top off his soda cup with alcohol--I think it was vodka tonight--or he slipped out of the theater to the bar next door to grab something. Either way, ple...

Tracy · Tracy

hi all, i wnt to and old meeting lasr night only couple people there same old faces. It was ovely to revisit. The topic was corage and shraes were good then a new comer shared about how she had told her rinker to explain xy and z to his doctor.I was astonished as a regular member cross talked and helped her...

serenityseeker1 · serenityseeker1

O.k so it christmas eve. I have trying my hardest to deal with my abf. Well to try and get through the holidays really for the sake of our children. Yes he is using again, and its seriously breaking my heart, not to mention driving me insane as he is outright lying to me about it. I have been trying my best to t...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

My AH claims that he loves his children dearly, but not me. Since my AH was drinking in secret, and he also tried to committ sucide, he picked my kids up from school and 3 hours later was passed out with a blood alcohol level that is 4 times the legal limit. I have filed a TRO and divorce, I don't allow him...

rehprof · rehprof

She went out on a limb, had it break off behind her, and discovered she could FLY. (helps me reframe my life a bit)

HockeyGrl · HockeyGrl

I ran across this message board today & thought I would post something. It's good to know there are other people experiencing the same things you are going through. My husband has a drinking problem & of course he thinks he doesn't. Every time I have brought it up it turns into my problem..I was...

Tracy · Tracy

I have moved house so have not had my computer back till today really missed this site. I hope you all had a lovely christms I did. I am on my way to a meeting so will post properly later hugs tracy xxxxx

Grace7 · Grace7

Please pray for me as I deal with A son and his 2 yr bride and mommy to be who are in town for the holidays. We see very little of them, our home isn't loaded with A:) Thank You.

LostMama31 · LostMama31

My husband truly wants to get better. He knows his life has become unmanageable, however, even though he wants to get counseling (and has first appt already set up), to figure out why he's so angry, he doesn't see why he needs to go back to rehab. He wants to instead do the counseling, keep meeting with ou...

Jozie · Jozie

Funny the Lessons Learned when you Least expect them... First let me Say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to You all... Without all of You Here, I may still be Back there <---- I have Flurished thru another Christmas/Birthday with Balance & Grace I feel, the Ease Part was A Little Touch &...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Actually today is better. I got a nap finally! My headache is starting to go away! I feel like things might just get better. My negative outlook is starting to go away too. Now that it has been over a week since my DAD died, I can actually see that maybe I can & will get through this w/o any major problems...

Moon_Beam · Moon_Beam

First and foremost I think ive found a group to join for weekly meetings. But I am worried about what has transpired over the last week. I have been working insane hours at work. And I happen to work second, my husband works first. Hes also had the last week off from work. Every night when i have been gettin...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

"I hear babies cry, I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know." -L. Armstrong. I was posting on Very Very Tired's thread and then my post turned into a novel so I decided to just make my own topic about it because, I guess, I have alot on my mind. Lately I have been waking u...

rehprof · rehprof

I'm doing what I refer to as my "mental torture" -- going over everything that happened in the relationship (broke up 4 weeks ago) -- all the things he told me about his past, other women, why is he friends on facebook with her and not me...OMG. STOP. These tapes are killing me and keeping me st...

bud · bud

Early December, I ended a relationship. The fact that he responded by wanting to take a break for a month is of little consolation. I started the grieving process and was doing ok. I had made the decision to feel the unpleasantness and pray that it would pass. There was a shift this past week - like a sw...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My husband cannot work right now because he broke his neck (fell from a tree, he owns a tree service, he's in a brace for at least another month) .. he cannot drive either. But every day he finds a way to a meeting and three times a week he finds a way to his outpatient appnts. He inspires my recovery at time...

pitbull lover · pitbull lover

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46406455/terrible-thanksgiving-plans-for-dry-christmas/?page=1#lastPostAnchor

Pushka · Pushka

Things since I've come home have been pretty good. I'm the one doing things to rock the boat. Some of it I'm sure is so I can say see .. it wasn't THAT good really. There is a part of me though that really thinks I don't deserve to be happy. Plus after living in crisis mode even just in my own mind for so long...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am working on this alot, since I am really enjoying life and the calm and serenity I am finding. I have learned to not let go of my serenity, to not give it away, because when I do, that old voice comes in and wants some chaos...some adrenaline. Last night something in my brain wanted some adrenaline an...

glad · glad

Smiling today as I realize only a true alanon could have written this song... To dream the impossible dreamTo fight the unbeatable foeTo bear with unbearable sorrowTo run where the brave dare not goTo right the unrightable wrong To love pure and chaste from afar To try when your arms are too weary To r...

wahsali · wahsali

I have been dating a "great guy" on and off for 5 years. He is 63 and I am 54. On when he is nice, and off when has pissed me off so much I want to kill him! He claims to love me...he can be SO sweet...but on a dime he changes! He has been sober for over 20 years, and goes to at least 2 meeting a week. Isn't t...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Im having a terrible time right now. Husband is alcoholic, addicted to pain pills. He's being a real jerk too. We are in a fight. I'm feeling closer to the possibility of divorce than ever before. I need someone to tell me I deserve to be happy. Do I really? Are things just only going to get worse? I don't ev...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Well...I don't know what to say. I just know that the grieving process is in full swing. I have managed to get through my first Christmas w/o my DAD. So far I have cried, got angry, etc. I guess I am definitely going through it. I hope time heals me. I am nervous about my mental health & chose not to go dow...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I have heard people mention early recovery, what is the time frame on early recovery, versus mid recovery, versus late recovery? Just curious. Thanks in advance.

pitbull lover · pitbull lover

My father was a mess on Thanksgiving. We had the meal at his house and he stayed in the kitchen nearly the entire time and drank while cooking. When my husband and I arrived my brother and his wife were already there and my father was already drunk. The day progressed without much of anything.. I broke out...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

MY BF is on probation from the last DUI that he got back in April. He has to go see his PO every 3 months and get drug tested. If they find any alcohol or drugs in his system he goes to jail for 90 to 120 days. He has to go this thrusday. he has been drinking every night for the past 3 weeks and last night was snortin...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys I am away from home on holidays at the moment. There was a catgory 2 cyclone near my town on Xmas day but it hit aobut 150km east of us in a fairly isolated area of the Northern Territory so it was all good. The cyclone moved east... guess which direction I went on holidays.. hehehe.. EAST!!!! Its a...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

How do you deal with the loneliness? I am living with my active AH who is deep within his disease. I go to F2F Al-Anon meetings. I have a sponsor. I am active in building a life for myself. Yet, there is still this loneliness. I've heard it said that living with an active alcoholic is even more lonely than be...

Sean · Sean

I grew up with a father who had a drinking problem and now that my wife and I just had our first child we are very cautious when it comes to him being around the baby. We've explained to my mother multiple time that we don't want our child around my father if he's drinking. She's said she understands and supp...

izzy · izzy

i need help on how to start the road to recovery. i have been drinking for awhile now and i am so needing help. i find myslf benging all the time and i know that if i keep on this path that i will die from this. I dont want to die from this please help me. what do i do and y is it so hard to stop?

orchidlover · orchidlover

For me letting go of being a victim has been such a long hard road. Christmas always used to remind me of all I did not have, a loving family, a rich warm homelife, companionship. This Christmas as always people asked me about my family. Those kind of questions used to send me in such turmoil. At one time I...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I hope that people don't think I am being rude or making excuses. But my AH left me with two small children, he spent all our money on alcohol and did not pay the house payment so my house is in foreclosure. I have a childcare bill, that usually people have on two incomes, but I have it on only one income. Mo...

Partynomore · Partynomore

24 years later I have finally admitted I am an alcoholic. As painful as that is for me to say, It is true. As of the day before Christmas my new journey in life starts. My wife has been telling me for years but never listened. I am scared of what my future holds but hopeful that I can be positive role model to my...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Thought I would leave a post on feelings .. My feelings change according to my perceptions and it would seem this week my perception is changing according to my feelings .. I just shared earlier thanks to a great reminder I know feelings aren't facts but through the years I have done so much isolating th...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

People say it would be good to go to an Al Anon meeting, but if I am getting divorced, I don't see the point that person is getting out of my life. I won't be dealing with him any more. It seems like going to Al Anon meetings would just remind me of him and make me think about him all the time, which would delay...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Another Christmas come and gone, but the Spirit lives on .. I'm grateful my Christmas was filled with so much joy, serenity, and true happiness .. I'm also sad it's over and grieving the loss of so much togetherness with family and even my x partner .. He showed up Christmas Eve after midnight which we'd...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha All...I've started or restarted reading some of the AFG literature that my wife and I have in our Library and pulled the Titled book into first place. I decided to mention it here as the "...Making Crises Work for You" part of the title is the focus. It is written from/with Al-Anon m...

Hayes · Hayes

What on earth was I thinking? My partner had a bed come up available for his detox and I asked him to hold it off until after Christmas. It was our second babies first christmas and I didn't know how to explain to our 5 year old that Daddy was sick and couldn't be there....and if I really think about my motive...

Pushka · Pushka

Such a funny thing to trigger a memory, however it does. Something I have to be very aware in myself is not comparing what I do to other people. Really what my mom thought, thank you for the gift of "what other people think of me is none of my business." It has given me such great freedom in my r...

atheos · atheos

Christmas Eve with the family. I'd forgotten how devoid of boundaries, sanity, or even basic respect for other people this can be... Being at another person's mercy to be harassed/insulted whenever/however he wants, SUCKS. And it sucks even more that any objection to this would just lead to him mak...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so sorry to say & sad that my DAD passed away yesterday. I am glad that he is at peace & not suffering anymore. I wanted him to last a lot longer so I could see him again but it was not meant to be. I guess God had other plans. I tried to see him in May but it didn't work out. He was living in CA--900 mile...

Bargee · Bargee

Hi all, I'm just new on here, although not new to having an alcoholic husband. For those of you that don't know me, my husband has been sober 9 months and we're expecting a baby in about 6 weeks (he got sober before we found out so that was lovely). However he has started drinking again. To be fair it's not...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I posted on here before that my AH and I have been seperated with a TRO, also he has told me that he does not care about me, he has no feelings for me, and he does not have to earn my trust back. This is telling me he does not love me at all any more. I have filed for divorce before, but he has not been served with t...

tired of trying · tired of trying

Well yesterday was the first Christmas in 4 years that my AH and also my AD were sober-I didn't have expectations but was hopeful. When my AH was in his early recovery 2 months ago-he told me not to buy anything for his stocking-I said fine and asked that he do the same-I also made a committment to myself no...

dahlia · dahlia

And this is me, pretending to be happy, making the day bright for my son while my husband lies in a coma a mile away from me. His drinking did this. A week ago he was still handsome. A week ago he was strong. A week ago he was talking and laughing and being a dad. I'm not very good at being alone, but I'm trying....

Loupiness · Loupiness

I find it interesting how I suddently "get" it. My latest revelation is that detachment appears to have brought me to acceptance. I got to the point where I felt bombarded, and finally, finally came to the conclusion that others have the choice to live their own life, and so do I. Its not...

Too hard · Too hard

On this Christmas Eve with many memories of difficult and unhappy Christmas Days and holidays behind me I would like to wish all the readers of this site a safe, peaceful and calm Christmas. Whatever the weather - cold, snow or heat, (38c degrees today here) that will not really make much difference to...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I posted on here yesterday that my husband was physically abusive and an alcoholic and addicted to drugs as well. We also have two children together. It all came to a head and his blood alcohol was 4 times the legal limit and he locked himself in our office and took 30 Xanax's and laid down on the couch to...

Jen · Jen

Just wrapping up a wonderful Christmas in a sober home, with my family around, most of the bills paid, a few nice things under the tree for the kids. I am so blessed. After the many years of struggling against this disease, I still have to pinch myself to see if I am really awake. I have all I want, a nice bori...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My mommy bought me a surprise present - a Stephen King novel, 11/22/63 - from the looks of the cover its about the kennedy assasination and back cover makes me think its a what if, what if he hadn't been killed?? Its 849 pages long, and I'm going to curl up and read tonight - sure surprised me though, mom don...

Hayes · Hayes

Ugh! How did I know this would happen?? And why am I trying to change it. He's freaking out. I have three weeks til my due date. He's using badly again because of the anxiety (that's how he explained it). I asked him about cleaning the floors for me this morning. He was saying he needed to lay down. He took it...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all, I hope everyone of you miracles is having a good Christmas weekend. I so love this site and the wonderful ESH here, so much wisdom and compassion. This has been a godsend for me. I'm just going to write out my feelings tonight. I bet some of you will identify with some of this. This is my first Chri...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Merry Christmas Everyone. It's morning here, I'm playing on my laptop while Megamind plays on the tv, not sure why the movie appeals to me, but its cute, entertaining and I'm not ready to stop having it play. Over the last few weeks I've had several people try to convince me of how I should embrace the hol...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I have a couple of questions, how do I find Al Anon meetings? Also, how often is a person suppose to attend these meetings?

LostMama31 · LostMama31

My son had his 4th eye surgery yesterday (glaucoma) and it was deemed successful. However, the followup early this morning showed a little blood has entered the eye so hopefully, it won't continue or it could potentially be bad. I'm praying that his surgeries will stay successful and we'll know in 3-...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	"stop going to the hardware store for bread" (Preview) I am so guilty of this. I keep trying to belive that somewhere in my spouse is the love, consideration, affection for me that I see him show others. Maybe that's why it is so very difficult. As an ACoA I have a real problem with this because this is exactly how my Mom treated me growing up. I am still so hu...	amills4294	8	1871	Dec 30, 2011 by Jerry F
	I feel like I've been punched in the gut (Preview) 10 days ago I caught my husband of 13 years using methadone. He breaks down and tells me he's secretly been addicted to opiates (pills, not heroin) for years and was now trying to get clean. I was completely shocked as I had no idea. He does not abuse alcohol. -I think I've seen him drunk 2-3 times in 18 year...	Annette678	8	623	Dec 30, 2011 by Doozy
	Need advice (Preview) I will be spending Christmas at my daughter's and she has invited her brother for dinner, my son who is an active A. I have been working the Al-Anon program and doing well with detaching. It will be a difficult situation for me if he shows up and has obviously been drinking. I will want to leave and distanc...	Rose50	10	470	Dec 30, 2011 by Rose50
	Progress not perfection (Preview) So yesterday I got a call from my A.. Asking if he can come over to give me some money he owes me. He gave me quite a bit based on the fact that he has had money for a week now and hasnt spent it all yet.. He also gave my son a twenty (he took 12$ from him). So my son got paid back plus a little more.. So this is where I am...	kris10	13	1576	Dec 30, 2011 by pinkchip
	question about depression and meds (Preview) Hi all,I have recently shared and touched upon this subject. But I would like to start a topic on this with the hope of hearing others experiances and ideas. My abf has been prescribed a strong dose of anti depressants a month ago without telling me. At the moment he is still on another prescription whic...	serenityseeker1	6	369	Dec 30, 2011 by Debilyn
	To the people sitting near us at the movie theater... (Preview) I apologize for the smell. See, my husband is an alcoholic and he can't sit through a movie without a drink. Yes, I know he was sneaking to the bathroom to top off his soda cup with alcohol--I think it was vodka tonight--or he slipped out of the theater to the bar next door to grab something. Either way, ple...	Very Very Tired	10	678	Dec 30, 2011 by LostMama31
	recovery (Preview) hi all, i wnt to and old meeting lasr night only couple people there same old faces. It was ovely to revisit. The topic was corage and shraes were good then a new comer shared about how she had told her rinker to explain xy and z to his doctor.I was astonished as a regular member cross talked and helped her...	Tracy	2	291	Dec 30, 2011 by Jerry F
	really need some esh! feel like I'm gonna burst!! (Preview) O.k so it christmas eve. I have trying my hardest to deal with my abf. Well to try and get through the holidays really for the sake of our children. Yes he is using again, and its seriously breaking my heart, not to mention driving me insane as he is outright lying to me about it. I have been trying my best to t...	serenityseeker1	15	708	Dec 30, 2011 by Pushka
	AH visiting children (Preview) My AH claims that he loves his children dearly, but not me. Since my AH was drinking in secret, and he also tried to committ sucide, he picked my kids up from school and 3 hours later was passed out with a blood alcohol level that is 4 times the legal limit. I have filed a TRO and divorce, I don't allow him...	ttpurtee	5	446	Dec 30, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Inspirational Quote (Preview) She went out on a limb, had it break off behind her, and discovered she could FLY. (helps me reframe my life a bit)	rehprof	4	420	Dec 30, 2011 by hotrod
	Feeling Alone (Preview) I ran across this message board today & thought I would post something. It's good to know there are other people experiencing the same things you are going through. My husband has a drinking problem & of course he thinks he doesn't. Every time I have brought it up it turns into my problem..I was...	HockeyGrl	8	466	Dec 30, 2011 by serenityseeker1
	hi all (Preview) I have moved house so have not had my computer back till today really missed this site. I hope you all had a lovely christms I did. I am on my way to a meeting so will post properly later hugs tracy xxxxx	Tracy	4	268	Dec 29, 2011 by hotrod
	Asking for Prayer (Preview) Please pray for me as I deal with A son and his 2 yr bride and mommy to be who are in town for the holidays. We see very little of them, our home isn't loaded with A:) Thank You.	Grace7	11	570	Dec 29, 2011 by Grace7
	To rehab or not to rehab...that is the question??? (Preview) My husband truly wants to get better. He knows his life has become unmanageable, however, even though he wants to get counseling (and has first appt already set up), to figure out why he's so angry, he doesn't see why he needs to go back to rehab. He wants to instead do the counseling, keep meeting with ou...	LostMama31	11	532	Dec 29, 2011 by purejuice
	Gettin Better with Holiday Lessons :0) (Preview) Funny the Lessons Learned when you Least expect them... First let me Say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to You all... Without all of You Here, I may still be Back there <---- I have Flurished thru another Christmas/Birthday with Balance & Grace I feel, the Ease Part was A Little Touch &...	Jozie	1	335	Dec 29, 2011 by hotrod
	it can & will get better! (Preview) Actually today is better. I got a nap finally! My headache is starting to go away! I feel like things might just get better. My negative outlook is starting to go away too. Now that it has been over a week since my DAD died, I can actually see that maybe I can & will get through this w/o any major problems...	Hoot Nanny	1	281	Dec 29, 2011 by Grace7
	complete breakdown (Preview) First and foremost I think ive found a group to join for weekly meetings. But I am worried about what has transpired over the last week. I have been working insane hours at work. And I happen to work second, my husband works first. Hes also had the last week off from work. Every night when i have been gettin...	Moon_Beam	10	594	Dec 29, 2011 by pineapple
	"They'll Learn Much More than I'll Ever Know." (Preview) "I hear babies cry, I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know." -L. Armstrong. I was posting on Very Very Tired's thread and then my post turned into a novel so I decided to just make my own topic about it because, I guess, I have alot on my mind. Lately I have been waking u...	Michelle814	8	624	Dec 29, 2011 by TLD
	Obsessing over what was, what could be... (Preview) I'm doing what I refer to as my "mental torture" -- going over everything that happened in the relationship (broke up 4 weeks ago) -- all the things he told me about his past, other women, why is he friends on facebook with her and not me...OMG. STOP. These tapes are killing me and keeping me st...	rehprof	12	463	Dec 29, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Grieving and obsession- not what I expected (Preview) Early December, I ended a relationship. The fact that he responded by wanting to take a break for a month is of little consolation. I started the grieving process and was doing ok. I had made the decision to feel the unpleasantness and pray that it would pass. There was a shift this past week - like a sw...	bud	10	595	Dec 29, 2011 by Pushka
	We don't have a pot to .... (Preview) My husband cannot work right now because he broke his neck (fell from a tree, he owns a tree service, he's in a brace for at least another month) .. he cannot drive either. But every day he finds a way to a meeting and three times a week he finds a way to his outpatient appnts. He inspires my recovery at time...	Michelle814	8	628	Dec 29, 2011 by Grace7
	Update: Terrible Thanksgiving, dry Christmas? (long, sorry!) dry christmas alcoholic father sober hope detachment (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46406455/terrible-thanksgiving-plans-for-dry-christmas/?page=1#lastPostAnchor	pitbull lover	7	7250	Dec 29, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Self Sabotage (Preview) Things since I've come home have been pretty good. I'm the one doing things to rock the boat. Some of it I'm sure is so I can say see .. it wasn't THAT good really. There is a part of me though that really thinks I don't deserve to be happy. Plus after living in crisis mode even just in my own mind for so long...	Pushka	12	776	Dec 29, 2011 by Pushka
	Overcoming my own addiction to adrenaline (Preview) I am working on this alot, since I am really enjoying life and the calm and serenity I am finding. I have learned to not let go of my serenity, to not give it away, because when I do, that old voice comes in and wants some chaos...some adrenaline. Last night something in my brain wanted some adrenaline an...	youfoundme	7	468	Dec 29, 2011 by Breakingfree
	giggle giggle.... (Preview) Smiling today as I realize only a true alanon could have written this song... To dream the impossible dreamTo fight the unbeatable foeTo bear with unbearable sorrowTo run where the brave dare not goTo right the unrightable wrong To love pure and chaste from afar To try when your arms are too weary To r...	glad	5	401	Dec 29, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Help! (Preview) I have been dating a "great guy" on and off for 5 years. He is 63 and I am 54. On when he is nice, and off when has pissed me off so much I want to kill him! He claims to love me...he can be SO sweet...but on a dime he changes! He has been sober for over 20 years, and goes to at least 2 meeting a week. Isn't t...	wahsali	8	344	Dec 29, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Need suppprt/ encouragement so badly (Preview) Im having a terrible time right now. Husband is alcoholic, addicted to pain pills. He's being a real jerk too. We are in a fight. I'm feeling closer to the possibility of divorce than ever before. I need someone to tell me I deserve to be happy. Do I really? Are things just only going to get worse? I don't ev...	GreenerGrass	15	482	Dec 29, 2011 by hotrod
	it's tough but I am managing. (Preview) Well...I don't know what to say. I just know that the grieving process is in full swing. I have managed to get through my first Christmas w/o my DAD. So far I have cried, got angry, etc. I guess I am definitely going through it. I hope time heals me. I am nervous about my mental health & chose not to go dow...	Hoot Nanny	5	467	Dec 29, 2011 by hotrod
	Early Recovery (Preview) I have heard people mention early recovery, what is the time frame on early recovery, versus mid recovery, versus late recovery? Just curious. Thanks in advance.	ttpurtee	4	673	Dec 28, 2011 by maryjane
	Terrible Thanksgiving... plans for dry christmas? christmas thanksgiving holidays dry father alcoholism (Preview) My father was a mess on Thanksgiving. We had the meal at his house and he stayed in the kitchen nearly the entire time and drank while cooking. When my husband and I arrived my brother and his wife were already there and my father was already drunk. The day progressed without much of anything.. I broke out...	pitbull lover	17	8762	Dec 28, 2011 by pitbull lover
	Should I warn him? (Preview) MY BF is on probation from the last DUI that he got back in April. He has to go see his PO every 3 months and get drug tested. If they find any alcohol or drugs in his system he goes to jail for 90 to 120 days. He has to go this thrusday. he has been drinking every night for the past 3 weeks and last night was snortin...	HoofnIt	19	486	Dec 28, 2011 by HoofnIt
	on holidays (Preview) Hi guys I am away from home on holidays at the moment. There was a catgory 2 cyclone near my town on Xmas day but it hit aobut 150km east of us in a fairly isolated area of the Northern Territory so it was all good. The cyclone moved east... guess which direction I went on holidays.. hehehe.. EAST!!!! Its a...	Lindaoakford	5	317	Dec 28, 2011 by Michelle814
	Loneliness (Preview) How do you deal with the loneliness? I am living with my active AH who is deep within his disease. I go to F2F Al-Anon meetings. I have a sponsor. I am active in building a life for myself. Yet, there is still this loneliness. I've heard it said that living with an active alcoholic is even more lonely than be...	Very Very Tired	9	951	Dec 27, 2011 by Jerry F
	Alcoholic grandfather and our new baby Alcoholic grandfather new baby (Preview) I grew up with a father who had a drinking problem and now that my wife and I just had our first child we are very cautious when it comes to him being around the baby. We've explained to my mother multiple time that we don't want our child around my father if he's drinking. She's said she understands and supp...	Sean	7	1026	Dec 27, 2011 by maryjane
	hopeless (Preview) i need help on how to start the road to recovery. i have been drinking for awhile now and i am so needing help. i find myslf benging all the time and i know that if i keep on this path that i will die from this. I dont want to die from this please help me. what do i do and y is it so hard to stop?	izzy	5	393	Dec 27, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Letting go (Preview) For me letting go of being a victim has been such a long hard road. Christmas always used to remind me of all I did not have, a loving family, a rich warm homelife, companionship. This Christmas as always people asked me about my family. Those kind of questions used to send me in such turmoil. At one time I...	orchidlover	7	450	Dec 27, 2011 by orchidlover
	Al Anon Meetings (Preview) I hope that people don't think I am being rude or making excuses. But my AH left me with two small children, he spent all our money on alcohol and did not pay the house payment so my house is in foreclosure. I have a childcare bill, that usually people have on two incomes, but I have it on only one income. Mo...	ttpurtee	8	453	Dec 27, 2011 by Jackie11
	Finally admitted I am an Alcoholic (Preview) 24 years later I have finally admitted I am an alcoholic. As painful as that is for me to say, It is true. As of the day before Christmas my new journey in life starts. My wife has been telling me for years but never listened. I am scared of what my future holds but hopeful that I can be positive role model to my...	Partynomore	7	620	Dec 27, 2011 by Michelle814
	Feelings .. (Preview) Thought I would leave a post on feelings .. My feelings change according to my perceptions and it would seem this week my perception is changing according to my feelings .. I just shared earlier thanks to a great reminder I know feelings aren't facts but through the years I have done so much isolating th...	MeTwo2	4	381	Dec 27, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Al Anon Meetings (Preview) People say it would be good to go to an Al Anon meeting, but if I am getting divorced, I don't see the point that person is getting out of my life. I won't be dealing with him any more. It seems like going to Al Anon meetings would just remind me of him and make me think about him all the time, which would delay...	ttpurtee	9	660	Dec 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	After holiday blues (Preview) Another Christmas come and gone, but the Spirit lives on .. I'm grateful my Christmas was filled with so much joy, serenity, and true happiness .. I'm also sad it's over and grieving the loss of so much togetherness with family and even my x partner .. He showed up Christmas Eve after midnight which we'd...	MeTwo2	6	453	Dec 27, 2011 by MeTwo2
	In All Our Affairs...Making Crises Work for You.. (Preview) Aloha All...I've started or restarted reading some of the AFG literature that my wife and I have in our Library and pulled the Titled book into first place. I decided to mention it here as the "...Making Crises Work for You" part of the title is the focus. It is written from/with Al-Anon m...	Jerry F	3	875	Dec 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Expectations Backfired (Preview) What on earth was I thinking? My partner had a bed come up available for his detox and I asked him to hold it off until after Christmas. It was our second babies first christmas and I didn't know how to explain to our 5 year old that Daddy was sick and couldn't be there....and if I really think about my motive...	Hayes	7	385	Dec 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Gift wrapping (Preview) Such a funny thing to trigger a memory, however it does. Something I have to be very aware in myself is not comparing what I do to other people. Really what my mom thought, thank you for the gift of "what other people think of me is none of my business." It has given me such great freedom in my r...	Pushka	10	535	Dec 27, 2011 by Jackie11
	Arrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! (Preview) Christmas Eve with the family. I'd forgotten how devoid of boundaries, sanity, or even basic respect for other people this can be... Being at another person's mercy to be harassed/insulted whenever/however he wants, SUCKS. And it sucks even more that any objection to this would just lead to him mak...	atheos	7	412	Dec 27, 2011 by Querida123
	my DAD passed yesterday (Preview) I am so sorry to say & sad that my DAD passed away yesterday. I am glad that he is at peace & not suffering anymore. I wanted him to last a lot longer so I could see him again but it was not meant to be. I guess God had other plans. I tried to see him in May but it didn't work out. He was living in CA--900 mile...	Hoot Nanny	20	817	Dec 26, 2011 by Jen
	How do keep calm? (Preview) Hi all, I'm just new on here, although not new to having an alcoholic husband. For those of you that don't know me, my husband has been sober 9 months and we're expecting a baby in about 6 weeks (he got sober before we found out so that was lovely). However he has started drinking again. To be fair it's not...	Bargee	10	821	Dec 26, 2011 by Bargee
	Divorce (Preview) I posted on here before that my AH and I have been seperated with a TRO, also he has told me that he does not care about me, he has no feelings for me, and he does not have to earn my trust back. This is telling me he does not love me at all any more. I have filed for divorce before, but he has not been served with t...	ttpurtee	6	971	Dec 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	Christmas-how it went (Preview) Well yesterday was the first Christmas in 4 years that my AH and also my AD were sober-I didn't have expectations but was hopeful. When my AH was in his early recovery 2 months ago-he told me not to buy anything for his stocking-I said fine and asked that he do the same-I also made a committment to myself no...	tired of trying	3	333	Dec 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	So this is Christmas (Preview) And this is me, pretending to be happy, making the day bright for my son while my husband lies in a coma a mile away from me. His drinking did this. A week ago he was still handsome. A week ago he was strong. A week ago he was talking and laughing and being a dad. I'm not very good at being alone, but I'm trying....	dahlia	12	749	Dec 26, 2011 by orchidlover
	Could it be.. "GASP"... acceptance? (Preview) I find it interesting how I suddently "get" it. My latest revelation is that detachment appears to have brought me to acceptance. I got to the point where I felt bombarded, and finally, finally came to the conclusion that others have the choice to live their own life, and so do I. Its not...	Loupiness	9	593	Dec 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	What ever the weather, or where ever (Preview) On this Christmas Eve with many memories of difficult and unhappy Christmas Days and holidays behind me I would like to wish all the readers of this site a safe, peaceful and calm Christmas. Whatever the weather - cold, snow or heat, (38c degrees today here) that will not really make much difference to...	Too hard	4	336	Dec 26, 2011 by orchidlover
	Husband's Feelings (Preview) I posted on here yesterday that my husband was physically abusive and an alcoholic and addicted to drugs as well. We also have two children together. It all came to a head and his blood alcohol was 4 times the legal limit and he locked himself in our office and took 30 Xanax's and laid down on the couch to...	ttpurtee	8	559	Dec 26, 2011 by orchidlover
	Peace to you all. (Preview) Just wrapping up a wonderful Christmas in a sober home, with my family around, most of the bills paid, a few nice things under the tree for the kids. I am so blessed. After the many years of struggling against this disease, I still have to pinch myself to see if I am really awake. I have all I want, a nice bori...	Jen	3	257	Dec 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Surprise Christmas Present (Preview) My mommy bought me a surprise present - a Stephen King novel, 11/22/63 - from the looks of the cover its about the kennedy assasination and back cover makes me think its a what if, what if he hadn't been killed?? Its 849 pages long, and I'm going to curl up and read tonight - sure surprised me though, mom don...	likemyheart	4	384	Dec 26, 2011 by Pushka
	3 weeks to go til bubs and 'he's leaving' (Preview) Ugh! How did I know this would happen?? And why am I trying to change it. He's freaking out. I have three weeks til my due date. He's using badly again because of the anxiety (that's how he explained it). I asked him about cleaning the floors for me this morning. He was saying he needed to lay down. He took it...	Hayes	14	517	Dec 26, 2011 by tired of trying
	Working through some feelings... (Preview) Hi all, I hope everyone of you miracles is having a good Christmas weekend. I so love this site and the wonderful ESH here, so much wisdom and compassion. This has been a godsend for me. I'm just going to write out my feelings tonight. I bet some of you will identify with some of this. This is my first Chri...	Doozy	8	519	Dec 26, 2011 by Green Eyes
	Christmas Morning Musing (Preview) Merry Christmas Everyone. It's morning here, I'm playing on my laptop while Megamind plays on the tv, not sure why the movie appeals to me, but its cute, entertaining and I'm not ready to stop having it play. Over the last few weeks I've had several people try to convince me of how I should embrace the hol...	likemyheart	4	437	Dec 26, 2011 by Jen
	Al Anon Meetings (Preview) I have a couple of questions, how do I find Al Anon meetings? Also, how often is a person suppose to attend these meetings?	ttpurtee	7	830	Dec 26, 2011 by Jen
	Ready for changes and positive steps (Preview) My son had his 4th eye surgery yesterday (glaucoma) and it was deemed successful. However, the followup early this morning showed a little blood has entered the eye so hopefully, it won't continue or it could potentially be bad. I'm praying that his surgeries will stay successful and we'll know in 3-...	LostMama31	7	531	Dec 25, 2011 by LostMama31
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.