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To rehab or not to rehab...that is the question???
(Preview)
My husband truly wants to get better. He knows his life has become unmanageable, however, even though he wants to get counseling (and has first appt already set up), to figure out why he's so angry, he doesn't see why he needs to go back to rehab. He wants to instead do the counseling, keep meeting with ou...
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LostMama31
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11
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539
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Gettin Better with Holiday Lessons :0)
(Preview)
Funny the Lessons Learned when you Least expect them... First let me Say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to You all... Without all of You Here, I may still be Back there <---- I have Flurished thru another Christmas/Birthday with Balance & Grace I feel, the Ease Part was A Little Touch &...
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Jozie
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1
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339
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it can & will get better!
(Preview)
Actually today is better. I got a nap finally! My headache is starting to go away! I feel like things might just get better. My negative outlook is starting to go away too. Now that it has been over a week since my DAD died, I can actually see that maybe I can & will get through this w/o any major problems...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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285
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complete breakdown
(Preview)
First and foremost I think ive found a group to join for weekly meetings. But I am worried about what has transpired over the last week. I have been working insane hours at work. And I happen to work second, my husband works first. Hes also had the last week off from work. Every night when i have been gettin...
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Moon_Beam
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10
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599
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"They'll Learn Much More than I'll Ever Know."
(Preview)
"I hear babies cry, I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know." -L. Armstrong. I was posting on Very Very Tired's thread and then my post turned into a novel so I decided to just make my own topic about it because, I guess, I have alot on my mind. Lately I have been waking u...
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Michelle814
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8
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629
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Obsessing over what was, what could be...
(Preview)
I'm doing what I refer to as my "mental torture" -- going over everything that happened in the relationship (broke up 4 weeks ago) -- all the things he told me about his past, other women, why is he friends on facebook with her and not me...OMG. STOP. These tapes are killing me and keeping me st...
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rehprof
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12
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467
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Grieving and obsession- not what I expected
(Preview)
Early December, I ended a relationship. The fact that he responded by wanting to take a break for a month is of little consolation. I started the grieving process and was doing ok. I had made the decision to feel the unpleasantness and pray that it would pass. There was a shift this past week - like a sw...
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bud
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10
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599
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We don't have a pot to ....
(Preview)
My husband cannot work right now because he broke his neck (fell from a tree, he owns a tree service, he's in a brace for at least another month) .. he cannot drive either. But every day he finds a way to a meeting and three times a week he finds a way to his outpatient appnts. He inspires my recovery at time...
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Michelle814
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8
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632
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Update: Terrible Thanksgiving, dry Christmas? (long, sorry!)
(Preview)
http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46406455/terrible-thanksgiving-plans-for-dry-christmas/?page=1#lastPostAnchor
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pitbull lover
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7
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7370
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Self Sabotage
(Preview)
Things since I've come home have been pretty good. I'm the one doing things to rock the boat. Some of it I'm sure is so I can say see .. it wasn't THAT good really. There is a part of me though that really thinks I don't deserve to be happy. Plus after living in crisis mode even just in my own mind for so long...
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Pushka
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12
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783
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Overcoming my own addiction to adrenaline
(Preview)
I am working on this alot, since I am really enjoying life and the calm and serenity I am finding. I have learned to not let go of my serenity, to not give it away, because when I do, that old voice comes in and wants some chaos...some adrenaline. Last night something in my brain wanted some adrenaline an...
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youfoundme
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7
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473
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giggle giggle....
(Preview)
Smiling today as I realize only a true alanon could have written this song... To dream the impossible dreamTo fight the unbeatable foeTo bear with unbearable sorrowTo run where the brave dare not goTo right the unrightable wrong To love pure and chaste from afar To try when your arms are too weary To r...
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glad
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5
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405
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Help!
(Preview)
I have been dating a "great guy" on and off for 5 years. He is 63 and I am 54. On when he is nice, and off when has pissed me off so much I want to kill him! He claims to love me...he can be SO sweet...but on a dime he changes! He has been sober for over 20 years, and goes to at least 2 meeting a week. Isn't t...
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wahsali
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8
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348
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Need suppprt/ encouragement so badly
(Preview)
Im having a terrible time right now. Husband is alcoholic, addicted to pain pills. He's being a real jerk too. We are in a fight. I'm feeling closer to the possibility of divorce than ever before. I need someone to tell me I deserve to be happy. Do I really? Are things just only going to get worse? I don't ev...
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GreenerGrass
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15
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486
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it's tough but I am managing.
(Preview)
Well...I don't know what to say. I just know that the grieving process is in full swing. I have managed to get through my first Christmas w/o my DAD. So far I have cried, got angry, etc. I guess I am definitely going through it. I hope time heals me. I am nervous about my mental health & chose not to go dow...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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472
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Early Recovery
(Preview)
I have heard people mention early recovery, what is the time frame on early recovery, versus mid recovery, versus late recovery?
Just curious. Thanks in advance.
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ttpurtee
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4
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677
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Terrible Thanksgiving... plans for dry christmas?
(Preview)
My father was a mess on Thanksgiving. We had the meal at his house and he stayed in the kitchen nearly the entire time and drank while cooking. When my husband and I arrived my brother and his wife were already there and my father was already drunk. The day progressed without much of anything.. I broke out...
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pitbull lover
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17
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8890
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Should I warn him?
(Preview)
MY BF is on probation from the last DUI that he got back in April. He has to go see his PO every 3 months and get drug tested. If they find any alcohol or drugs in his system he goes to jail for 90 to 120 days. He has to go this thrusday. he has been drinking every night for the past 3 weeks and last night was snortin...
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HoofnIt
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19
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491
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on holidays
(Preview)
Hi guys I am away from home on holidays at the moment. There was a catgory 2 cyclone near my town on Xmas day but it hit aobut 150km east of us in a fairly isolated area of the Northern Territory so it was all good. The cyclone moved east... guess which direction I went on holidays.. hehehe.. EAST!!!! Its a...
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Lindaoakford
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5
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322
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Loneliness
(Preview)
How do you deal with the loneliness? I am living with my active AH who is deep within his disease. I go to F2F Al-Anon meetings. I have a sponsor. I am active in building a life for myself. Yet, there is still this loneliness. I've heard it said that living with an active alcoholic is even more lonely than be...
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Very Very Tired
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9
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958
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Alcoholic grandfather and our new baby
(Preview)
I grew up with a father who had a drinking problem and now that my wife and I just had our first child we are very cautious when it comes to him being around the baby. We've explained to my mother multiple time that we don't want our child around my father if he's drinking. She's said she understands and supp...
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Sean
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7
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1032
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hopeless
(Preview)
i need help on how to start the road to recovery. i have been drinking for awhile now and i am so needing help. i find myslf benging all the time and i know that if i keep on this path that i will die from this. I dont want to die from this please help me. what do i do and y is it so hard to stop?
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izzy
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5
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397
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Letting go
(Preview)
For me letting go of being a victim has been such a long hard road. Christmas always used to remind me of all I did not have, a loving family, a rich warm homelife, companionship. This Christmas as always people asked me about my family. Those kind of questions used to send me in such turmoil. At one time I...
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orchidlover
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7
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456
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Al Anon Meetings
(Preview)
I hope that people don't think I am being rude or making excuses. But my AH left me with two small children, he spent all our money on alcohol and did not pay the house payment so my house is in foreclosure. I have a childcare bill, that usually people have on two incomes, but I have it on only one income.
Mo...
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ttpurtee
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8
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458
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Finally admitted I am an Alcoholic
(Preview)
24 years later I have finally admitted I am an alcoholic. As painful as that is for me to say, It is true. As of the day before Christmas my new journey in life starts. My wife has been telling me for years but never listened. I am scared of what my future holds but hopeful that I can be positive role model to my...
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Partynomore
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7
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624
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Feelings ..
(Preview)
Thought I would leave a post on feelings .. My feelings change according to my perceptions and it would seem this week my perception is changing according to my feelings .. I just shared earlier thanks to a great reminder I know feelings aren't facts but through the years I have done so much isolating th...
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MeTwo2
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4
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385
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Al Anon Meetings
(Preview)
People say it would be good to go to an Al Anon meeting, but if I am getting divorced, I don't see the point that person is getting out of my life.
I won't be dealing with him any more. It seems like going to Al Anon meetings would just remind me of him and make me think about him all the time, which would delay...
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ttpurtee
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9
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668
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After holiday blues
(Preview)
Another Christmas come and gone, but the Spirit lives on .. I'm grateful my Christmas was filled with so much joy, serenity, and true happiness .. I'm also sad it's over and grieving the loss of so much togetherness with family and even my x partner .. He showed up Christmas Eve after midnight which we'd...
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MeTwo2
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6
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457
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In All Our Affairs...Making Crises Work for You..
(Preview)
Aloha All...I've started or restarted reading some of the AFG literature that my wife and I have in our Library and pulled the Titled book into first place. I decided to mention it here as the "...Making Crises Work for You" part of the title is the focus. It is written from/with Al-Anon m...
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Jerry F
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3
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881
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Expectations Backfired
(Preview)
What on earth was I thinking? My partner had a bed come up available for his detox and I asked him to hold it off until after Christmas. It was our second babies first christmas and I didn't know how to explain to our 5 year old that Daddy was sick and couldn't be there....and if I really think about my motive...
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Hayes
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7
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393
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Gift wrapping
(Preview)
Such a funny thing to trigger a memory, however it does. Something I have to be very aware in myself is not comparing what I do to other people. Really what my mom thought, thank you for the gift of "what other people think of me is none of my business." It has given me such great freedom in my r...
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Pushka
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10
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540
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Arrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
(Preview)
Christmas Eve with the family. I'd forgotten how devoid of boundaries, sanity, or even basic respect for other people this can be... Being at another person's mercy to be harassed/insulted whenever/however he wants, SUCKS. And it sucks even more that any objection to this would just lead to him mak...
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atheos
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7
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417
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my DAD passed yesterday
(Preview)
I am so sorry to say & sad that my DAD passed away yesterday. I am glad that he is at peace & not suffering anymore. I wanted him to last a lot longer so I could see him again but it was not meant to be. I guess God had other plans. I tried to see him in May but it didn't work out. He was living in CA--900 mile...
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Hoot Nanny
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20
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824
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How do keep calm?
(Preview)
Hi all, I'm just new on here, although not new to having an alcoholic husband. For those of you that don't know me, my husband has been sober 9 months and we're expecting a baby in about 6 weeks (he got sober before we found out so that was lovely). However he has started drinking again. To be fair it's not...
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Bargee
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10
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827
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Divorce
(Preview)
I posted on here before that my AH and I have been seperated with a TRO, also he has told me that he does not care about me, he has no feelings for me, and he does not have to earn my trust back.
This is telling me he does not love me at all any more. I have filed for divorce before, but he has not been served with t...
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ttpurtee
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6
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975
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Christmas-how it went
(Preview)
Well yesterday was the first Christmas in 4 years that my AH and also my AD were sober-I didn't have expectations but was hopeful. When my AH was in his early recovery 2 months ago-he told me not to buy anything for his stocking-I said fine and asked that he do the same-I also made a committment to myself no...
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tired of trying
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3
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337
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So this is Christmas
(Preview)
And this is me, pretending to be happy, making the day bright for my son while my husband lies in a coma a mile away from me. His drinking did this. A week ago he was still handsome. A week ago he was strong. A week ago he was talking and laughing and being a dad. I'm not very good at being alone, but I'm trying....
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dahlia
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12
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753
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Could it be.. "GASP"... acceptance?
(Preview)
I find it interesting how I suddently "get" it. My latest revelation is that detachment appears to have brought me to acceptance. I got to the point where I felt bombarded, and finally, finally came to the conclusion that others have the choice to live their own life, and so do I. Its not...
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Loupiness
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9
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597
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What ever the weather, or where ever
(Preview)
On this Christmas Eve with many memories of difficult and unhappy Christmas Days and holidays behind me I would like to wish all the readers of this site a safe, peaceful and calm Christmas. Whatever the weather - cold, snow or heat, (38c degrees today here) that will not really make much difference to...
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Too hard
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4
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341
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Husband's Feelings
(Preview)
I posted on here yesterday that my husband was physically abusive and an alcoholic and addicted to drugs as well. We also have two children together.
It all came to a head and his blood alcohol was 4 times the legal limit and he locked himself in our office and took 30 Xanax's and laid down on the couch to...
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ttpurtee
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8
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563
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Peace to you all.
(Preview)
Just wrapping up a wonderful Christmas in a sober home, with my family around, most of the bills paid, a few nice things under the tree for the kids. I am so blessed. After the many years of struggling against this disease, I still have to pinch myself to see if I am really awake. I have all I want, a nice bori...
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Jen
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3
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261
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Surprise Christmas Present
(Preview)
My mommy bought me a surprise present - a Stephen King novel, 11/22/63 - from the looks of the cover its about the kennedy assasination and back cover makes me think its a what if, what if he hadn't been killed?? Its 849 pages long, and I'm going to curl up and read tonight - sure surprised me though, mom don...
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likemyheart
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4
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388
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3 weeks to go til bubs and 'he's leaving'
(Preview)
Ugh! How did I know this would happen?? And why am I trying to change it. He's freaking out. I have three weeks til my due date. He's using badly again because of the anxiety (that's how he explained it). I asked him about cleaning the floors for me this morning. He was saying he needed to lay down. He took it...
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Hayes
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14
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522
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Working through some feelings...
(Preview)
Hi all, I hope everyone of you miracles is having a good Christmas weekend. I so love this site and the wonderful ESH here, so much wisdom and compassion. This has been a godsend for me. I'm just going to write out my feelings tonight. I bet some of you will identify with some of this. This is my first Chri...
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Doozy
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8
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523
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Christmas Morning Musing
(Preview)
Merry Christmas Everyone. It's morning here, I'm playing on my laptop while Megamind plays on the tv, not sure why the movie appeals to me, but its cute, entertaining and I'm not ready to stop having it play. Over the last few weeks I've had several people try to convince me of how I should embrace the hol...
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likemyheart
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4
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442
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Al Anon Meetings
(Preview)
I have a couple of questions, how do I find Al Anon meetings?
Also, how often is a person suppose to attend these meetings?
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ttpurtee
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7
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835
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Ready for changes and positive steps
(Preview)
My son had his 4th eye surgery yesterday (glaucoma) and it was deemed successful. However, the followup early this morning showed a little blood has entered the eye so hopefully, it won't continue or it could potentially be bad. I'm praying that his surgeries will stay successful and we'll know in 3-...
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LostMama31
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7
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537
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Christmas gift suggestions (for all)
(Preview)
To your enemy... Forgiveness.
To your opponent... Tolerance.
To a friend... Your heart.
To a costumer... Service.
To all... Charity.
To a child... A good example.
To yourself... Respect..
Saw this one today and made me think of all you on here!! Thought Id share!! Merry Christmas Everyone...
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kris10
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3
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359
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Jekyl & Hyde
(Preview)
My husband is a sweet, loving, kind, funny, intelligent and good man. My alcoholic husband is a tired, anxious, angry, fearful, petty, ashamed boy. Is it bad or unfair that I'm starting to see them as two separate people? Or is this maybe a good or adaptive way for me to handle being his partner?
I'm qui...
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ladysoblue
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8
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666
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Merry Christmas to you all!
(Preview)
I am excited for tomorrow morning and watching my kids open their gifts. California was Christmas enough for me to be able to get along with my family, so after coming home everything is just a bonus now. I am so grateful for my kids and their health! I am having my exAH and his parents over in the morning...
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Breakingfree
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3
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330
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Where is our hairless guinea pig loving Deb???
(Preview)
Maybe I missed a share about her being gone for awhile, but I have been looking to see her post again and it seems to have been awhile. After her late night scare awhile back I often think of her. If anyone knows I would greatly appreciate putting my mind at ease.
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Breakingfree
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2
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311
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Alcohol Effects
(Preview)
Hello Everyone... If someone started drinking at the age of 13...not a lot but it progressed over the years and got worse when they were 16, 17 and up...to the point where it's excessive drinking quite often...what type of effects does this have physcially by the time they are 19? My son is 19 now...a...
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Christie92
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4
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601
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Graditude
(Preview)
Its been a rough couple months, but things are getting better-for that I am grateful. Last night it hit me this maybe the first Christmas in 4 years without an actively drinking AH-prior to that he had been sober for 15 years-for the last 4 we have rode the relaspe roller coaster especially around the ho...
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tired of trying
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3
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382
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hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!
(Preview)
Just real quick: I hope you all have a merry Christmas this year. Me, I am going to do the best I can. I am still grieving as you probably guessed. Today I am angry because my dad left me before Christmas. I had planned it differently of course. But...God had other plans I guess. I was all ready to have one of t...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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319
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Hapy Chrismtas to all
(Preview)
as you all know I have to work retail and tomorrow is the last major onslaught in the marathon. I hope you all have a calm, peaceful Christmas. I will be and thats a first for me. I can't really wish for anything more than that. My expectations have changed and that is the best gift I can give to myself. M...
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orchidlover
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2
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286
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Merry Christmas ?
(Preview)
Christmas for so many of us is full of painful hurtful as well as beautiful memories. Whether the pain was cause in our childhood our teenaged years or the challenges of realtionships in our adult life . The thing we need to avoid giving life to the ghosts of Christmas past dreading the ghosts of Christ...
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sirchef
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4
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320
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When twinges of fear, gratitude, and humor combine
(Preview)
Twinge of fear: Checking my phone messages, a neighbor reported possibly seeing my ex RA's car idling out in front of my house. Considering the 100 yrd. stay away order in place, that is not good. I'm feeling kind of afraid, but not a lot. Gratitude: My neighbors are really cool! So glad they're lookin...
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rara avis
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2
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389
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chekcing in
(Preview)
I haven't posted in a while but have been trying to read others posts when I can. Work has been really busy and frankly I've gone into auto pilot over the holiday. I know it's probably a mistake to not deal with the things that are right in front of me but the holidays are a tough time for me inspite of the se...
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amills4294
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2
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316
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He left
(Preview)
I went to a real estate class at around 1 pm. He asked me what time was I coming home before I left. I told him around 4. When I got home the car jack was outside. When I went to put it back the jet ski was gone (we live up north). Then I went to his computer room and it was gone as well as his papers, and then the close...
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gladysg
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4
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384
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Good things happen in this program
(Preview)
I have been in Al-Anon for 8 months now. Since starting the program, I have: - Experienced a drastically improved relationship with my sister - Been able to lower my dosage of anxiety meds, and am now tapering off Prozac - Left a job that had bad pay, bad hours, and lots of insanity, and replaced it with a j...
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atheos
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6
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296
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