Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Michelle814 · Michelle814

"I hear babies cry, I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know." -L. Armstrong. I was posting on Very Very Tired's thread and then my post turned into a novel so I decided to just make my own topic about it because, I guess, I have alot on my mind. Lately I have been waking u...

rehprof · rehprof

I'm doing what I refer to as my "mental torture" -- going over everything that happened in the relationship (broke up 4 weeks ago) -- all the things he told me about his past, other women, why is he friends on facebook with her and not me...OMG. STOP. These tapes are killing me and keeping me st...

bud · bud

Early December, I ended a relationship. The fact that he responded by wanting to take a break for a month is of little consolation. I started the grieving process and was doing ok. I had made the decision to feel the unpleasantness and pray that it would pass. There was a shift this past week - like a sw...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My husband cannot work right now because he broke his neck (fell from a tree, he owns a tree service, he's in a brace for at least another month) .. he cannot drive either. But every day he finds a way to a meeting and three times a week he finds a way to his outpatient appnts. He inspires my recovery at time...

pitbull lover · pitbull lover

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46406455/terrible-thanksgiving-plans-for-dry-christmas/?page=1#lastPostAnchor

Pushka · Pushka

Things since I've come home have been pretty good. I'm the one doing things to rock the boat. Some of it I'm sure is so I can say see .. it wasn't THAT good really. There is a part of me though that really thinks I don't deserve to be happy. Plus after living in crisis mode even just in my own mind for so long...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am working on this alot, since I am really enjoying life and the calm and serenity I am finding. I have learned to not let go of my serenity, to not give it away, because when I do, that old voice comes in and wants some chaos...some adrenaline. Last night something in my brain wanted some adrenaline an...

glad · glad

Smiling today as I realize only a true alanon could have written this song... To dream the impossible dreamTo fight the unbeatable foeTo bear with unbearable sorrowTo run where the brave dare not goTo right the unrightable wrong To love pure and chaste from afar To try when your arms are too weary To r...

wahsali · wahsali

I have been dating a "great guy" on and off for 5 years. He is 63 and I am 54. On when he is nice, and off when has pissed me off so much I want to kill him! He claims to love me...he can be SO sweet...but on a dime he changes! He has been sober for over 20 years, and goes to at least 2 meeting a week. Isn't t...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Im having a terrible time right now. Husband is alcoholic, addicted to pain pills. He's being a real jerk too. We are in a fight. I'm feeling closer to the possibility of divorce than ever before. I need someone to tell me I deserve to be happy. Do I really? Are things just only going to get worse? I don't ev...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Well...I don't know what to say. I just know that the grieving process is in full swing. I have managed to get through my first Christmas w/o my DAD. So far I have cried, got angry, etc. I guess I am definitely going through it. I hope time heals me. I am nervous about my mental health & chose not to go dow...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I have heard people mention early recovery, what is the time frame on early recovery, versus mid recovery, versus late recovery? Just curious. Thanks in advance.

pitbull lover · pitbull lover

My father was a mess on Thanksgiving. We had the meal at his house and he stayed in the kitchen nearly the entire time and drank while cooking. When my husband and I arrived my brother and his wife were already there and my father was already drunk. The day progressed without much of anything.. I broke out...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

MY BF is on probation from the last DUI that he got back in April. He has to go see his PO every 3 months and get drug tested. If they find any alcohol or drugs in his system he goes to jail for 90 to 120 days. He has to go this thrusday. he has been drinking every night for the past 3 weeks and last night was snortin...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys I am away from home on holidays at the moment. There was a catgory 2 cyclone near my town on Xmas day but it hit aobut 150km east of us in a fairly isolated area of the Northern Territory so it was all good. The cyclone moved east... guess which direction I went on holidays.. hehehe.. EAST!!!! Its a...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

How do you deal with the loneliness? I am living with my active AH who is deep within his disease. I go to F2F Al-Anon meetings. I have a sponsor. I am active in building a life for myself. Yet, there is still this loneliness. I've heard it said that living with an active alcoholic is even more lonely than be...

Sean · Sean

I grew up with a father who had a drinking problem and now that my wife and I just had our first child we are very cautious when it comes to him being around the baby. We've explained to my mother multiple time that we don't want our child around my father if he's drinking. She's said she understands and supp...

izzy · izzy

i need help on how to start the road to recovery. i have been drinking for awhile now and i am so needing help. i find myslf benging all the time and i know that if i keep on this path that i will die from this. I dont want to die from this please help me. what do i do and y is it so hard to stop?

orchidlover · orchidlover

For me letting go of being a victim has been such a long hard road. Christmas always used to remind me of all I did not have, a loving family, a rich warm homelife, companionship. This Christmas as always people asked me about my family. Those kind of questions used to send me in such turmoil. At one time I...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I hope that people don't think I am being rude or making excuses. But my AH left me with two small children, he spent all our money on alcohol and did not pay the house payment so my house is in foreclosure. I have a childcare bill, that usually people have on two incomes, but I have it on only one income. Mo...

Partynomore · Partynomore

24 years later I have finally admitted I am an alcoholic. As painful as that is for me to say, It is true. As of the day before Christmas my new journey in life starts. My wife has been telling me for years but never listened. I am scared of what my future holds but hopeful that I can be positive role model to my...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Thought I would leave a post on feelings .. My feelings change according to my perceptions and it would seem this week my perception is changing according to my feelings .. I just shared earlier thanks to a great reminder I know feelings aren't facts but through the years I have done so much isolating th...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

People say it would be good to go to an Al Anon meeting, but if I am getting divorced, I don't see the point that person is getting out of my life. I won't be dealing with him any more. It seems like going to Al Anon meetings would just remind me of him and make me think about him all the time, which would delay...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Another Christmas come and gone, but the Spirit lives on .. I'm grateful my Christmas was filled with so much joy, serenity, and true happiness .. I'm also sad it's over and grieving the loss of so much togetherness with family and even my x partner .. He showed up Christmas Eve after midnight which we'd...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha All...I've started or restarted reading some of the AFG literature that my wife and I have in our Library and pulled the Titled book into first place. I decided to mention it here as the "...Making Crises Work for You" part of the title is the focus. It is written from/with Al-Anon m...

Hayes · Hayes

What on earth was I thinking? My partner had a bed come up available for his detox and I asked him to hold it off until after Christmas. It was our second babies first christmas and I didn't know how to explain to our 5 year old that Daddy was sick and couldn't be there....and if I really think about my motive...

Pushka · Pushka

Such a funny thing to trigger a memory, however it does. Something I have to be very aware in myself is not comparing what I do to other people. Really what my mom thought, thank you for the gift of "what other people think of me is none of my business." It has given me such great freedom in my r...

atheos · atheos

Christmas Eve with the family. I'd forgotten how devoid of boundaries, sanity, or even basic respect for other people this can be... Being at another person's mercy to be harassed/insulted whenever/however he wants, SUCKS. And it sucks even more that any objection to this would just lead to him mak...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so sorry to say & sad that my DAD passed away yesterday. I am glad that he is at peace & not suffering anymore. I wanted him to last a lot longer so I could see him again but it was not meant to be. I guess God had other plans. I tried to see him in May but it didn't work out. He was living in CA--900 mile...

Bargee · Bargee

Hi all, I'm just new on here, although not new to having an alcoholic husband. For those of you that don't know me, my husband has been sober 9 months and we're expecting a baby in about 6 weeks (he got sober before we found out so that was lovely). However he has started drinking again. To be fair it's not...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I posted on here before that my AH and I have been seperated with a TRO, also he has told me that he does not care about me, he has no feelings for me, and he does not have to earn my trust back. This is telling me he does not love me at all any more. I have filed for divorce before, but he has not been served with t...

tired of trying · tired of trying

Well yesterday was the first Christmas in 4 years that my AH and also my AD were sober-I didn't have expectations but was hopeful. When my AH was in his early recovery 2 months ago-he told me not to buy anything for his stocking-I said fine and asked that he do the same-I also made a committment to myself no...

dahlia · dahlia

And this is me, pretending to be happy, making the day bright for my son while my husband lies in a coma a mile away from me. His drinking did this. A week ago he was still handsome. A week ago he was strong. A week ago he was talking and laughing and being a dad. I'm not very good at being alone, but I'm trying....

Loupiness · Loupiness

I find it interesting how I suddently "get" it. My latest revelation is that detachment appears to have brought me to acceptance. I got to the point where I felt bombarded, and finally, finally came to the conclusion that others have the choice to live their own life, and so do I. Its not...

Too hard · Too hard

On this Christmas Eve with many memories of difficult and unhappy Christmas Days and holidays behind me I would like to wish all the readers of this site a safe, peaceful and calm Christmas. Whatever the weather - cold, snow or heat, (38c degrees today here) that will not really make much difference to...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I posted on here yesterday that my husband was physically abusive and an alcoholic and addicted to drugs as well. We also have two children together. It all came to a head and his blood alcohol was 4 times the legal limit and he locked himself in our office and took 30 Xanax's and laid down on the couch to...

Jen · Jen

Just wrapping up a wonderful Christmas in a sober home, with my family around, most of the bills paid, a few nice things under the tree for the kids. I am so blessed. After the many years of struggling against this disease, I still have to pinch myself to see if I am really awake. I have all I want, a nice bori...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My mommy bought me a surprise present - a Stephen King novel, 11/22/63 - from the looks of the cover its about the kennedy assasination and back cover makes me think its a what if, what if he hadn't been killed?? Its 849 pages long, and I'm going to curl up and read tonight - sure surprised me though, mom don...

Hayes · Hayes

Ugh! How did I know this would happen?? And why am I trying to change it. He's freaking out. I have three weeks til my due date. He's using badly again because of the anxiety (that's how he explained it). I asked him about cleaning the floors for me this morning. He was saying he needed to lay down. He took it...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all, I hope everyone of you miracles is having a good Christmas weekend. I so love this site and the wonderful ESH here, so much wisdom and compassion. This has been a godsend for me. I'm just going to write out my feelings tonight. I bet some of you will identify with some of this. This is my first Chri...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Merry Christmas Everyone. It's morning here, I'm playing on my laptop while Megamind plays on the tv, not sure why the movie appeals to me, but its cute, entertaining and I'm not ready to stop having it play. Over the last few weeks I've had several people try to convince me of how I should embrace the hol...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

I have a couple of questions, how do I find Al Anon meetings? Also, how often is a person suppose to attend these meetings?

LostMama31 · LostMama31

My son had his 4th eye surgery yesterday (glaucoma) and it was deemed successful. However, the followup early this morning showed a little blood has entered the eye so hopefully, it won't continue or it could potentially be bad. I'm praying that his surgeries will stay successful and we'll know in 3-...

kris10 · kris10

To your enemy... Forgiveness. To your opponent... Tolerance. To a friend... Your heart. To a costumer... Service. To all... Charity. To a child... A good example. To yourself... Respect.. Saw this one today and made me think of all you on here!! Thought Id share!! Merry Christmas Everyone...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

My husband is a sweet, loving, kind, funny, intelligent and good man. My alcoholic husband is a tired, anxious, angry, fearful, petty, ashamed boy. Is it bad or unfair that I'm starting to see them as two separate people? Or is this maybe a good or adaptive way for me to handle being his partner? I'm qui...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am excited for tomorrow morning and watching my kids open their gifts. California was Christmas enough for me to be able to get along with my family, so after coming home everything is just a bonus now. I am so grateful for my kids and their health! I am having my exAH and his parents over in the morning...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Maybe I missed a share about her being gone for awhile, but I have been looking to see her post again and it seems to have been awhile. After her late night scare awhile back I often think of her. If anyone knows I would greatly appreciate putting my mind at ease.

Christie92 · Christie92

Hello Everyone... If someone started drinking at the age of 13...not a lot but it progressed over the years and got worse when they were 16, 17 and up...to the point where it's excessive drinking quite often...what type of effects does this have physcially by the time they are 19? My son is 19 now...a...

tired of trying · tired of trying

Its been a rough couple months, but things are getting better-for that I am grateful. Last night it hit me this maybe the first Christmas in 4 years without an actively drinking AH-prior to that he had been sober for 15 years-for the last 4 we have rode the relaspe roller coaster especially around the ho...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just real quick: I hope you all have a merry Christmas this year. Me, I am going to do the best I can. I am still grieving as you probably guessed. Today I am angry because my dad left me before Christmas. I had planned it differently of course. But...God had other plans I guess. I was all ready to have one of t...

orchidlover · orchidlover

as you all know I have to work retail and tomorrow is the last major onslaught in the marathon. I hope you all have a calm, peaceful Christmas. I will be and thats a first for me. I can't really wish for anything more than that. My expectations have changed and that is the best gift I can give to myself. M...

sirchef · sirchef

Christmas for so many of us is full of painful hurtful as well as beautiful memories. Whether the pain was cause in our childhood our teenaged years or the challenges of realtionships in our adult life . The thing we need to avoid giving life to the ghosts of Christmas past dreading the ghosts of Christ...

rara avis · rara avis

Twinge of fear: Checking my phone messages, a neighbor reported possibly seeing my ex RA's car idling out in front of my house. Considering the 100 yrd. stay away order in place, that is not good. I'm feeling kind of afraid, but not a lot. Gratitude: My neighbors are really cool! So glad they're lookin...

amills4294 · amills4294

I haven't posted in a while but have been trying to read others posts when I can. Work has been really busy and frankly I've gone into auto pilot over the holiday. I know it's probably a mistake to not deal with the things that are right in front of me but the holidays are a tough time for me inspite of the se...

gladysg · gladysg

I went to a real estate class at around 1 pm. He asked me what time was I coming home before I left. I told him around 4. When I got home the car jack was outside. When I went to put it back the jet ski was gone (we live up north). Then I went to his computer room and it was gone as well as his papers, and then the close...

atheos · atheos

I have been in Al-Anon for 8 months now. Since starting the program, I have: - Experienced a drastically improved relationship with my sister - Been able to lower my dosage of anxiety meds, and am now tapering off Prozac - Left a job that had bad pay, bad hours, and lots of insanity, and replaced it with a j...

kris10 · kris10

Well my A called today asked if he could come over. I said yes (assuming he was coming to get his things or MAYBE give me some money he owes me) Was kind of strange to hear him ring the door bell... First off I was assuming he would be high out of his mind because he got paid the other day... He wasn't... My son wh...

danni · danni

I know in the scheme of things, this isn't the worst that can happen, but after beautifully detatching all morning (with my two little ones) from the knowledge that my husband got loaded last night after I went to bed, I find the door unlocked AGAIN. I'm furious. Last time, after posting here and spea...

John · John

The journey has been long, and it has been hard...But the adventure of living life, each day has been worth it.I've learned and I'm still teachable, I have grown, but still growing,I do not seek an applause, for to do so would be the same as applauding a cowboy with hemroids for not riding his horse any m...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Here we go again with the crying. I am sitting in my office at work feeling like a bit of a failure.... ok.. a complete failure. Its 9 am on the 23 December. A time I am usually really happy cos I love Christmas. I feel really rejected. I had that argument with my brother on Monday. Wednesday I had a lunch...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	"They'll Learn Much More than I'll Ever Know." (Preview) "I hear babies cry, I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know." -L. Armstrong. I was posting on Very Very Tired's thread and then my post turned into a novel so I decided to just make my own topic about it because, I guess, I have alot on my mind. Lately I have been waking u...	Michelle814	8	628	Dec 29, 2011 by TLD
	Obsessing over what was, what could be... (Preview) I'm doing what I refer to as my "mental torture" -- going over everything that happened in the relationship (broke up 4 weeks ago) -- all the things he told me about his past, other women, why is he friends on facebook with her and not me...OMG. STOP. These tapes are killing me and keeping me st...	rehprof	12	464	Dec 29, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Grieving and obsession- not what I expected (Preview) Early December, I ended a relationship. The fact that he responded by wanting to take a break for a month is of little consolation. I started the grieving process and was doing ok. I had made the decision to feel the unpleasantness and pray that it would pass. There was a shift this past week - like a sw...	bud	10	599	Dec 29, 2011 by Pushka
	We don't have a pot to .... (Preview) My husband cannot work right now because he broke his neck (fell from a tree, he owns a tree service, he's in a brace for at least another month) .. he cannot drive either. But every day he finds a way to a meeting and three times a week he finds a way to his outpatient appnts. He inspires my recovery at time...	Michelle814	8	632	Dec 29, 2011 by Grace7
	Update: Terrible Thanksgiving, dry Christmas? (long, sorry!) dry christmas alcoholic father sober hope detachment (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46406455/terrible-thanksgiving-plans-for-dry-christmas/?page=1#lastPostAnchor	pitbull lover	7	7282	Dec 29, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Self Sabotage (Preview) Things since I've come home have been pretty good. I'm the one doing things to rock the boat. Some of it I'm sure is so I can say see .. it wasn't THAT good really. There is a part of me though that really thinks I don't deserve to be happy. Plus after living in crisis mode even just in my own mind for so long...	Pushka	12	780	Dec 29, 2011 by Pushka
	Overcoming my own addiction to adrenaline (Preview) I am working on this alot, since I am really enjoying life and the calm and serenity I am finding. I have learned to not let go of my serenity, to not give it away, because when I do, that old voice comes in and wants some chaos...some adrenaline. Last night something in my brain wanted some adrenaline an...	youfoundme	7	472	Dec 29, 2011 by Breakingfree
	giggle giggle.... (Preview) Smiling today as I realize only a true alanon could have written this song... To dream the impossible dreamTo fight the unbeatable foeTo bear with unbearable sorrowTo run where the brave dare not goTo right the unrightable wrong To love pure and chaste from afar To try when your arms are too weary To r...	glad	5	405	Dec 29, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Help! (Preview) I have been dating a "great guy" on and off for 5 years. He is 63 and I am 54. On when he is nice, and off when has pissed me off so much I want to kill him! He claims to love me...he can be SO sweet...but on a dime he changes! He has been sober for over 20 years, and goes to at least 2 meeting a week. Isn't t...	wahsali	8	348	Dec 29, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Need suppprt/ encouragement so badly (Preview) Im having a terrible time right now. Husband is alcoholic, addicted to pain pills. He's being a real jerk too. We are in a fight. I'm feeling closer to the possibility of divorce than ever before. I need someone to tell me I deserve to be happy. Do I really? Are things just only going to get worse? I don't ev...	GreenerGrass	15	486	Dec 29, 2011 by hotrod
	it's tough but I am managing. (Preview) Well...I don't know what to say. I just know that the grieving process is in full swing. I have managed to get through my first Christmas w/o my DAD. So far I have cried, got angry, etc. I guess I am definitely going through it. I hope time heals me. I am nervous about my mental health & chose not to go dow...	Hoot Nanny	5	471	Dec 29, 2011 by hotrod
	Early Recovery (Preview) I have heard people mention early recovery, what is the time frame on early recovery, versus mid recovery, versus late recovery? Just curious. Thanks in advance.	ttpurtee	4	677	Dec 28, 2011 by maryjane
	Terrible Thanksgiving... plans for dry christmas? christmas thanksgiving holidays dry father alcoholism (Preview) My father was a mess on Thanksgiving. We had the meal at his house and he stayed in the kitchen nearly the entire time and drank while cooking. When my husband and I arrived my brother and his wife were already there and my father was already drunk. The day progressed without much of anything.. I broke out...	pitbull lover	17	8793	Dec 28, 2011 by pitbull lover
	Should I warn him? (Preview) MY BF is on probation from the last DUI that he got back in April. He has to go see his PO every 3 months and get drug tested. If they find any alcohol or drugs in his system he goes to jail for 90 to 120 days. He has to go this thrusday. he has been drinking every night for the past 3 weeks and last night was snortin...	HoofnIt	19	490	Dec 28, 2011 by HoofnIt
	on holidays (Preview) Hi guys I am away from home on holidays at the moment. There was a catgory 2 cyclone near my town on Xmas day but it hit aobut 150km east of us in a fairly isolated area of the Northern Territory so it was all good. The cyclone moved east... guess which direction I went on holidays.. hehehe.. EAST!!!! Its a...	Lindaoakford	5	321	Dec 28, 2011 by Michelle814
	Loneliness (Preview) How do you deal with the loneliness? I am living with my active AH who is deep within his disease. I go to F2F Al-Anon meetings. I have a sponsor. I am active in building a life for myself. Yet, there is still this loneliness. I've heard it said that living with an active alcoholic is even more lonely than be...	Very Very Tired	9	956	Dec 27, 2011 by Jerry F
	Alcoholic grandfather and our new baby Alcoholic grandfather new baby (Preview) I grew up with a father who had a drinking problem and now that my wife and I just had our first child we are very cautious when it comes to him being around the baby. We've explained to my mother multiple time that we don't want our child around my father if he's drinking. She's said she understands and supp...	Sean	7	1027	Dec 27, 2011 by maryjane
	hopeless (Preview) i need help on how to start the road to recovery. i have been drinking for awhile now and i am so needing help. i find myslf benging all the time and i know that if i keep on this path that i will die from this. I dont want to die from this please help me. what do i do and y is it so hard to stop?	izzy	5	397	Dec 27, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Letting go (Preview) For me letting go of being a victim has been such a long hard road. Christmas always used to remind me of all I did not have, a loving family, a rich warm homelife, companionship. This Christmas as always people asked me about my family. Those kind of questions used to send me in such turmoil. At one time I...	orchidlover	7	454	Dec 27, 2011 by orchidlover
	Al Anon Meetings (Preview) I hope that people don't think I am being rude or making excuses. But my AH left me with two small children, he spent all our money on alcohol and did not pay the house payment so my house is in foreclosure. I have a childcare bill, that usually people have on two incomes, but I have it on only one income. Mo...	ttpurtee	8	457	Dec 27, 2011 by Jackie11
	Finally admitted I am an Alcoholic (Preview) 24 years later I have finally admitted I am an alcoholic. As painful as that is for me to say, It is true. As of the day before Christmas my new journey in life starts. My wife has been telling me for years but never listened. I am scared of what my future holds but hopeful that I can be positive role model to my...	Partynomore	7	624	Dec 27, 2011 by Michelle814
	Feelings .. (Preview) Thought I would leave a post on feelings .. My feelings change according to my perceptions and it would seem this week my perception is changing according to my feelings .. I just shared earlier thanks to a great reminder I know feelings aren't facts but through the years I have done so much isolating th...	MeTwo2	4	385	Dec 27, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Al Anon Meetings (Preview) People say it would be good to go to an Al Anon meeting, but if I am getting divorced, I don't see the point that person is getting out of my life. I won't be dealing with him any more. It seems like going to Al Anon meetings would just remind me of him and make me think about him all the time, which would delay...	ttpurtee	9	664	Dec 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	After holiday blues (Preview) Another Christmas come and gone, but the Spirit lives on .. I'm grateful my Christmas was filled with so much joy, serenity, and true happiness .. I'm also sad it's over and grieving the loss of so much togetherness with family and even my x partner .. He showed up Christmas Eve after midnight which we'd...	MeTwo2	6	457	Dec 27, 2011 by MeTwo2
	In All Our Affairs...Making Crises Work for You.. (Preview) Aloha All...I've started or restarted reading some of the AFG literature that my wife and I have in our Library and pulled the Titled book into first place. I decided to mention it here as the "...Making Crises Work for You" part of the title is the focus. It is written from/with Al-Anon m...	Jerry F	3	879	Dec 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Expectations Backfired (Preview) What on earth was I thinking? My partner had a bed come up available for his detox and I asked him to hold it off until after Christmas. It was our second babies first christmas and I didn't know how to explain to our 5 year old that Daddy was sick and couldn't be there....and if I really think about my motive...	Hayes	7	392	Dec 27, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Gift wrapping (Preview) Such a funny thing to trigger a memory, however it does. Something I have to be very aware in myself is not comparing what I do to other people. Really what my mom thought, thank you for the gift of "what other people think of me is none of my business." It has given me such great freedom in my r...	Pushka	10	540	Dec 27, 2011 by Jackie11
	Arrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! (Preview) Christmas Eve with the family. I'd forgotten how devoid of boundaries, sanity, or even basic respect for other people this can be... Being at another person's mercy to be harassed/insulted whenever/however he wants, SUCKS. And it sucks even more that any objection to this would just lead to him mak...	atheos	7	416	Dec 27, 2011 by Querida123
	my DAD passed yesterday (Preview) I am so sorry to say & sad that my DAD passed away yesterday. I am glad that he is at peace & not suffering anymore. I wanted him to last a lot longer so I could see him again but it was not meant to be. I guess God had other plans. I tried to see him in May but it didn't work out. He was living in CA--900 mile...	Hoot Nanny	20	821	Dec 26, 2011 by Jen
	How do keep calm? (Preview) Hi all, I'm just new on here, although not new to having an alcoholic husband. For those of you that don't know me, my husband has been sober 9 months and we're expecting a baby in about 6 weeks (he got sober before we found out so that was lovely). However he has started drinking again. To be fair it's not...	Bargee	10	826	Dec 26, 2011 by Bargee
	Divorce (Preview) I posted on here before that my AH and I have been seperated with a TRO, also he has told me that he does not care about me, he has no feelings for me, and he does not have to earn my trust back. This is telling me he does not love me at all any more. I have filed for divorce before, but he has not been served with t...	ttpurtee	6	975	Dec 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	Christmas-how it went (Preview) Well yesterday was the first Christmas in 4 years that my AH and also my AD were sober-I didn't have expectations but was hopeful. When my AH was in his early recovery 2 months ago-he told me not to buy anything for his stocking-I said fine and asked that he do the same-I also made a committment to myself no...	tired of trying	3	337	Dec 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	So this is Christmas (Preview) And this is me, pretending to be happy, making the day bright for my son while my husband lies in a coma a mile away from me. His drinking did this. A week ago he was still handsome. A week ago he was strong. A week ago he was talking and laughing and being a dad. I'm not very good at being alone, but I'm trying....	dahlia	12	753	Dec 26, 2011 by orchidlover
	Could it be.. "GASP"... acceptance? (Preview) I find it interesting how I suddently "get" it. My latest revelation is that detachment appears to have brought me to acceptance. I got to the point where I felt bombarded, and finally, finally came to the conclusion that others have the choice to live their own life, and so do I. Its not...	Loupiness	9	597	Dec 26, 2011 by Jerry F
	What ever the weather, or where ever (Preview) On this Christmas Eve with many memories of difficult and unhappy Christmas Days and holidays behind me I would like to wish all the readers of this site a safe, peaceful and calm Christmas. Whatever the weather - cold, snow or heat, (38c degrees today here) that will not really make much difference to...	Too hard	4	340	Dec 26, 2011 by orchidlover
	Husband's Feelings (Preview) I posted on here yesterday that my husband was physically abusive and an alcoholic and addicted to drugs as well. We also have two children together. It all came to a head and his blood alcohol was 4 times the legal limit and he locked himself in our office and took 30 Xanax's and laid down on the couch to...	ttpurtee	8	563	Dec 26, 2011 by orchidlover
	Peace to you all. (Preview) Just wrapping up a wonderful Christmas in a sober home, with my family around, most of the bills paid, a few nice things under the tree for the kids. I am so blessed. After the many years of struggling against this disease, I still have to pinch myself to see if I am really awake. I have all I want, a nice bori...	Jen	3	261	Dec 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Surprise Christmas Present (Preview) My mommy bought me a surprise present - a Stephen King novel, 11/22/63 - from the looks of the cover its about the kennedy assasination and back cover makes me think its a what if, what if he hadn't been killed?? Its 849 pages long, and I'm going to curl up and read tonight - sure surprised me though, mom don...	likemyheart	4	388	Dec 26, 2011 by Pushka
	3 weeks to go til bubs and 'he's leaving' (Preview) Ugh! How did I know this would happen?? And why am I trying to change it. He's freaking out. I have three weeks til my due date. He's using badly again because of the anxiety (that's how he explained it). I asked him about cleaning the floors for me this morning. He was saying he needed to lay down. He took it...	Hayes	14	522	Dec 26, 2011 by tired of trying
	Working through some feelings... (Preview) Hi all, I hope everyone of you miracles is having a good Christmas weekend. I so love this site and the wonderful ESH here, so much wisdom and compassion. This has been a godsend for me. I'm just going to write out my feelings tonight. I bet some of you will identify with some of this. This is my first Chri...	Doozy	8	523	Dec 26, 2011 by Green Eyes
	Christmas Morning Musing (Preview) Merry Christmas Everyone. It's morning here, I'm playing on my laptop while Megamind plays on the tv, not sure why the movie appeals to me, but its cute, entertaining and I'm not ready to stop having it play. Over the last few weeks I've had several people try to convince me of how I should embrace the hol...	likemyheart	4	441	Dec 26, 2011 by Jen
	Al Anon Meetings (Preview) I have a couple of questions, how do I find Al Anon meetings? Also, how often is a person suppose to attend these meetings?	ttpurtee	7	833	Dec 26, 2011 by Jen
	Ready for changes and positive steps (Preview) My son had his 4th eye surgery yesterday (glaucoma) and it was deemed successful. However, the followup early this morning showed a little blood has entered the eye so hopefully, it won't continue or it could potentially be bad. I'm praying that his surgeries will stay successful and we'll know in 3-...	LostMama31	7	534	Dec 25, 2011 by LostMama31
	Christmas gift suggestions (for all) (Preview) To your enemy... Forgiveness. To your opponent... Tolerance. To a friend... Your heart. To a costumer... Service. To all... Charity. To a child... A good example. To yourself... Respect.. Saw this one today and made me think of all you on here!! Thought Id share!! Merry Christmas Everyone...	kris10	3	354	Dec 25, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Jekyl & Hyde (Preview) My husband is a sweet, loving, kind, funny, intelligent and good man. My alcoholic husband is a tired, anxious, angry, fearful, petty, ashamed boy. Is it bad or unfair that I'm starting to see them as two separate people? Or is this maybe a good or adaptive way for me to handle being his partner? I'm qui...	ladysoblue	8	662	Dec 25, 2011 by ladysoblue
	Merry Christmas to you all! (Preview) I am excited for tomorrow morning and watching my kids open their gifts. California was Christmas enough for me to be able to get along with my family, so after coming home everything is just a bonus now. I am so grateful for my kids and their health! I am having my exAH and his parents over in the morning...	Breakingfree	3	326	Dec 24, 2011 by Michelle814
	Where is our hairless guinea pig loving Deb??? (Preview) Maybe I missed a share about her being gone for awhile, but I have been looking to see her post again and it seems to have been awhile. After her late night scare awhile back I often think of her. If anyone knows I would greatly appreciate putting my mind at ease.	Breakingfree	2	307	Dec 24, 2011 by Pushka
	Alcohol Effects (Preview) Hello Everyone... If someone started drinking at the age of 13...not a lot but it progressed over the years and got worse when they were 16, 17 and up...to the point where it's excessive drinking quite often...what type of effects does this have physcially by the time they are 19? My son is 19 now...a...	Christie92	4	597	Dec 24, 2011 by likemyheart
	Graditude (Preview) Its been a rough couple months, but things are getting better-for that I am grateful. Last night it hit me this maybe the first Christmas in 4 years without an actively drinking AH-prior to that he had been sober for 15 years-for the last 4 we have rode the relaspe roller coaster especially around the ho...	tired of trying	3	378	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	hope everyone has a Merry Christmas! (Preview) Just real quick: I hope you all have a merry Christmas this year. Me, I am going to do the best I can. I am still grieving as you probably guessed. Today I am angry because my dad left me before Christmas. I had planned it differently of course. But...God had other plans I guess. I was all ready to have one of t...	Hoot Nanny	2	318	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Hapy Chrismtas to all (Preview) as you all know I have to work retail and tomorrow is the last major onslaught in the marathon. I hope you all have a calm, peaceful Christmas. I will be and thats a first for me. I can't really wish for anything more than that. My expectations have changed and that is the best gift I can give to myself. M...	orchidlover	2	285	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Merry Christmas ? (Preview) Christmas for so many of us is full of painful hurtful as well as beautiful memories. Whether the pain was cause in our childhood our teenaged years or the challenges of realtionships in our adult life . The thing we need to avoid giving life to the ghosts of Christmas past dreading the ghosts of Christ...	sirchef	4	319	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	When twinges of fear, gratitude, and humor combine (Preview) Twinge of fear: Checking my phone messages, a neighbor reported possibly seeing my ex RA's car idling out in front of my house. Considering the 100 yrd. stay away order in place, that is not good. I'm feeling kind of afraid, but not a lot. Gratitude: My neighbors are really cool! So glad they're lookin...	rara avis	2	385	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	chekcing in (Preview) I haven't posted in a while but have been trying to read others posts when I can. Work has been really busy and frankly I've gone into auto pilot over the holiday. I know it's probably a mistake to not deal with the things that are right in front of me but the holidays are a tough time for me inspite of the se...	amills4294	2	315	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	He left (Preview) I went to a real estate class at around 1 pm. He asked me what time was I coming home before I left. I told him around 4. When I got home the car jack was outside. When I went to put it back the jet ski was gone (we live up north). Then I went to his computer room and it was gone as well as his papers, and then the close...	gladysg	4	380	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Good things happen in this program (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for 8 months now. Since starting the program, I have: - Experienced a drastically improved relationship with my sister - Been able to lower my dosage of anxiety meds, and am now tapering off Prozac - Left a job that had bad pay, bad hours, and lots of insanity, and replaced it with a j...	atheos	6	292	Dec 24, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I think I did good??? (Preview) Well my A called today asked if he could come over. I said yes (assuming he was coming to get his things or MAYBE give me some money he owes me) Was kind of strange to hear him ring the door bell... First off I was assuming he would be high out of his mind because he got paid the other day... He wasn't... My son wh...	kris10	6	459	Dec 24, 2011 by sookie
	Door left unlocked AGAIN (Preview) I know in the scheme of things, this isn't the worst that can happen, but after beautifully detatching all morning (with my two little ones) from the knowledge that my husband got loaded last night after I went to bed, I find the door unlocked AGAIN. I'm furious. Last time, after posting here and spea...	danni	6	719	Dec 24, 2011 by danni
	Sobriety Anniversary - 22 years today! (Preview) The journey has been long, and it has been hard...But the adventure of living life, each day has been worth it.I've learned and I'm still teachable, I have grown, but still growing,I do not seek an applause, for to do so would be the same as applauding a cowboy with hemroids for not riding his horse any m...	John	16	746	Dec 24, 2011 by tired of trying
	crying again (Preview) Here we go again with the crying. I am sitting in my office at work feeling like a bit of a failure.... ok.. a complete failure. Its 9 am on the 23 December. A time I am usually really happy cos I love Christmas. I feel really rejected. I had that argument with my brother on Monday. Wednesday I had a lunch...	Lindaoakford	22	563	Dec 23, 2011 by Lindaoakford
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.