The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So after spending hours pouring over everyone's stories and advice. I know this I want to have Christmas this year. I am ready for this massive step.
All of my life holidays have been a fear of mine. I am my familys black sheep, and all but one of my mothers 5 siblings are alcoholics and substance abusers. My grandmother is one as well. So Christmas has always meant one big drunk feast. Which turns into one big massive family fight. This morning I took a firm stance with my parents when they called. I made it clear my husband and I would not be coming over to there house this year or attending our family activities. ( My parents are amused by getting my husband drunk and it infuriates me) I also explained to my mother that I am not angry at them but would like a change of pace.
At the same time me and my husband have never actually shared a Christmas together. We have been together for 5 years and just got married. We have never exchanged any gifts or decorated for any holiday. I am ready now to start my own holiday traditions. Now i know my husband will more then likely drink. And I know I will be able to handle that part. Just the idea of not having to go to my parents brings a massive wave of relief.
So today my one day off. I am going to go purchase a Christmas tree and some decorations. And do up the house before my husband gets home. He happens to love Christmas and has many happy child-hood memories. Im nervous and excited all at the same time.
So here is a before picture of my living room ! (dont mind the mess ahhh)
Good for you for choosing to have Christmas the way you want it this year. Have fun with your decorating. I'm looking forward to seeing the šafterš photo!
What diligence not to be triggered and angry and feeling abandoned b y your parents actions. I certainly never got that far.
The ex A and I never had a decent Christmas. His drinking and using always ruined everything and I always allowed him to. I never got to the point of having my own traditions. Christmas is still pretty hard for me but getting less so. I know this years is better than last and next years will be better in another way. I keep my expectations really really low because having any in the past decimated me.
I think that is a wonderful idea start a new tradition with your husband. Decorate and share the pictures. For me it felt so good to get the decorations out as it seems to fill up the house with beautiful colors.
