The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, my soon to be ex AH called this morning to see if I would lend him $30 to cover his snowmobile insurance which is due tomorrow.
My gosh -- he has had to pay his snowmobile payment (!), his OWN vehicle insurance (1), and his own cell phone (!) ..for the last 2-3 months!!! (i paid it previously)
Now he has no money for cigarettes and gas!!!!
Here's the kicker. I said no, I would not loan him money. Not my problem.
Good for you rehprof. My exAH was just telling me how he can't afford his bills while he was refilling his mug of beer and I didn't miss the irony, but said nothing and left with my 3 year old. Keep up the good work!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Before my soon to be ex became my ex, he too asked for money, saying he "would be financially ruined" if he didn't get it. I thought, hmmm....several DECADES of his choices are suddenly on my shoulders? Later when his truck got towed he was complaining to me, stopped himself, and said, " Well, I guess THAT wasn't your fault."
Feels good to enforce a fair "No" , doesn't it?! It's his side of the street now.
It feels good to know you only have to take care of yourself.
Hugs p :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Good way to work your boundaries, rehprof! Boy, I hear you guys on some of these things - like complaining about being poor while filling up another mug of beer. I started to try to figure how much my ex spent on beer and it was stunning. What I like about this program is the way we learn how to be responsible for ourselves and let others be responsible for themselves. Good stuff! :)
