Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

f2fmember · f2fmember

Ok I've been in Alanon a long time but this issue is really getting to me. How do I deal with the daily controlling ism's and still maintain my own self worth? My AH is obssessed with time and money. He is constantly asking me about what time I'm going here or there (which is a nagging to tell me that I should b...

daisy31 · daisy31

Is anyone here an introvert? I am now realizing that that is why I am having a hard time with some shares in alanon. My thoughts are stuck in my head and body and yet I cannot organize them in a understandable way in the f2f meetings. I also take a while to process things others say in the meetings and have...

julesredgirl · julesredgirl

I'm new to this site and pretty new to alanon. I'm still learning how this all works. And I have a question on how to react to certain situations. My bf has been sober since nye. He doesn't believe in meetings so he's not really doing anything to help himself other than not drinking. Well just last w...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

St Pat's is hard for me. Coming from a HUUUGE Irish family, drinking was the main priority on this day for many years. I woke today and went for a walk, I let my kitties out in the sun. I just did things I wanted to do. I did think a few times about all my friends who are out in the chaos, wearing green, with t...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone...past week has been a rollercoaster for me. I set some major boundaries and it was so hard to! He left me alone for a few days, then today the texts started, like "nice to know ya". Not long after the calls started. I took a few until I realized that he had to have been drinking to be...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

I wanted to share how I am healing today. Alanon has helped me redefine and define in new ways what recovery actually is. For me, I am realizing how much recovery has to do with my attitudes. As I pay attention to my attitudes, I begin to see how in so many ways my attitudes hinder me. A big barrier for me is th...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi my ex ABf turned up at 5 this morning full of drink and drungs. I opended the bedroom window and asked him to leae nicely. He climbed the fence and started throwing stones at my bedroom window. My 19 years old son went down stairs and told him to leave. He kept asking for me saying he has no where to go. My...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I know that I am not alone so why do I feel like I am sometimes? I am working on being more positive & excited about life. I hope that tomorrow looks better than today. I hope that I can get up & feel like getting up! I saw the doctor on Weds. I am playing the waiting game again. I know that it can be that w...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 9 has been posted to the Step Work Board . Please join us and share your thoughttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48321049/step-9-alanon/

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Interesting awareness I had on obligation .. somewhere in the meeting read, I heard that each of us has an obligation to work through what we are, where we are, when we are .. we have been given so much and come so far and our shares regardless of what they are will help someone in the future going through...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, Something has been going around in my head. In the aca big red book it reads, " Many adult children find ACA and begin recovery. A few seem to do well only to act out in addictions such as drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, or compulsive spending. Many of these addictions have been called secon...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Today's Reminder: I do not have to accept the continuous misery that goes with alcoholism. I will not surrender to the vagaries and machinations of the alcoholic. No one can distort my thinking unless I permit it. Then: God help me to accept the responsibility for finding a better way of life through s...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

so i've missed the majority of my meetings for that last almost several days .. I went to one this morning .. I have another on Sunday and one on Monday evening.. So much of the learning has been interesting .. I'm tired this week; nearly to the point of feeling overwhelmed by many unavoidable circumstan...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I know I need sleep in a big way. I know I tend to take on too much responsibility. Awhile back I took on a fundraiser for my 13 year olds class to help fund them going to Washington DC. I am heading up the food commity that does the most and more frequent events. Today some kids from the class are coming to my ho...

frustratedandconfused · frustratedandconfused

I have been reading this board religiously since last Friday, and it is amazing how much I can relate to the stories on this board. It is like alot of you are in my house and talking about my AH. I never realized until going to this board how sure I am that he has a problem. I have been struggling with this nag...

John · John

The Thirteenth Step... "My life is completely unmanagable, I am looking for a job, but haven't had any luck in the past 3 years, I have a nice ten speed bicycle, and live in a half way house. A local church and social services help pay my rent. I have good friends that pitched in to buy me a hair cut, and bod...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is now tomorrow & I am having a moment. I have anxiety over something I did so I am having a hard time typing this. My thoughts must be racing or something because the words won't come out right. That is pretty much where I am right now. Something or someone from my past is taking away a little of my ser...

storm · storm

i can't believe i am posting here, as this is all new to me and i'm a bit confused/lost as to where to start. first off, i'm 30 years old and 7 1/2 months pregnant with our first child. my significant other (sorry i dont know the lingo for this board yet), is 33 and has been struggling wtih depression for abou...

maire rua · maire rua

My last post told you about my action with my problem son. Unfortunately the situation deteriorated further. That night in question, he and others tried to rob a store for drink and the owner of the store got badly injured. Son was high on drugs and drink. His actions have immense consequences and I am s...

orchidlover · orchidlover

For most of my adult life I suffered from a tremendous loneliness. Even when I was in a relationship I felt chilled with loneliness and I kept believing that demonstrating my love to my significant other was the way out of that. What I have learned through al anon was that the loneliness couldn't be cur...

Pushka · Pushka

Adding insult to my already smarting ego which yes .. I am still sore after my little debacle on Sunday. I did my morning Tuesday deal, which is an open AA meeting .. love this group great group of people. I'm doing so much better about being open and not so standoffish which is a big deal for me. Anyway,...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all... I was reading through some older posts, and stumbled across a comment from "Diamond" - a very occasional - but very wise - person who posts on MIP every once in awhile... This is what she had to say, with the whole "is alcohol a choice, is alcoholism a disease, how does it diff...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, I haven't posted on here for a while. In the end Al-anon Headquarters was notified about the male sponsor of the al-ateen group and also told about the covering up going on by the women connected to the parent group. They are doing an investigation into it all, but with all the covering up, I don't h...

Oksie · Oksie

As some of you may remember from my other log on name... I have recently identifed with being an abused child, and I have been doing alot of inner child work I posted for help yesterday and I feared I was reacting in a childish manner. Entering into drama that was not mine to enter. Creating an incident w...

Pushka · Pushka

I have been working soooo hard to take those signs down and it is kind of scary at the same time it has been a wonderful feeling. I'm still not good in social situations that's ok .. hopefully people will just overlook my quirks that way. Note to self .. keep your hands out of someone else's coffee!!! The...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I quit using alcohol, pot and cocaine years ago and have been in AA since then. I went through the steps and had a spiritual awakening. That took me out of denial and I realized my family is far from perfect. In fact, I have non-drinking but very selfish, narcissistic parents and some other very sick fami...

Pushka · Pushka

Soo .. LOL .. I've been feeling very empowered however I've been feeling pretty angry and with good reason, it's completely justifiable anger. I had called my very wise and wonderful sponsor and shared with her that I want to feel empowered without needing to feel angry at the same time. What she sha...

emil · emil

Last night I went back to Al anon and even though it was a business/inventory meeting; I got so much out of it. I think it was such clarity and understanding that the focus of the meetings has to be about me. The reason I need to attend is to heal and not focus on anger and restment. It is so great to listen...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have no idea why I am having such a hard time with forgiveness. I am still angry, I am still holding on to past hurts, and I am miserable. I know that true forgiveness will set me free but I feel like I'm making up stuff to keep my unhappy. I'm sure it's all part of my own co-dependent behaviors and thinki...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Thanks everyone for being there last night when I really needed you. I couldn't stop projecting and making the worst case scenerios. I ended up turning my phone on this morning and didn't get the messages I expected. I got "can you call me please, i really need to talk to you." I was sure I was g...

Oksie · Oksie

Both of which are pertinent to me in the last few days.. just wanted to share here too. March 14 - Today I am optimistic about the experiences and people that come into my life. I will view all encounters as opportunites to expand my awareness. I am not threatened by people or by situations. Challeng...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I work for a program that deals with parents of teens. I had an irate parent call me today (my staff warned me that she was "on the warpath and was absolutely impossible to deal with"). It's amazing when you allow someone to say what they have to say and not interrupt them (just like we do at our m...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I'm feeling a little speechless (obviouly not speechless enough not to write something ). Powerful speaker telling a powerful story. I'm used to getting that punched-in-the-chest, moved-to-tears feeling in Al-Anon meetings. I didn't expect it in an AA meeting. I'm not sure what I expected. Th...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Last Tuesday night, my AH and I had an intense and candid (but not ugly or abusive) conversation about his drinking. I tried to take to heart a lot of the advice in Getting Them Sober...I said what I needed to say. I wasn't mean. I was clear and direct, and I said things only once. I didn't say anything t...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Just turned my phone off because the calls wouldn't stop. he kept calling and telling me how i wasn't there for him when he needs me and he's so done with me. he knows just what to say to hurt me...saying im to busy with work and family and my animals... im literally having a panic attack because im so scared...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've been in AlAnon for 3 years and it has given me many gifts and blessings. I have been blessed to meet some wonderful people and have grown from their ESH. My struggle is this...one of my very best friends and sponsee recently passed away from a very tough battle with several types of cancer...Two m...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Thanks to everyone who took the time to send positive thoughts and prayers my way. I wasn't in the mood to share yesterday, today I have felt my feelings and think it would be good to get it off my chest. For those who haven't read my posts before, one of my qualifiers is my ex boyfriend, whom I have an active...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been with my partner 7 years . I have been in al anon 4 and a half years and he is in AA 3 years. I am not happy in this relationship whether he is drinking or not. I ended it about a months ago and he has gone bak to drinking and is blaming me. I know the 3 Cs I know it was his choice to pick up and it is his dis...

maire rua · maire rua

For some time my youngest son has put me through hell on earth. It came to a head today when he told me he was moving out and I told him to go right on ahead. I have never felt such relief in my life. He is running with a problem crowd and has not made it to school in the last six months so its been a rough one. My fath...

nonbeliever · nonbeliever

My ex and I separated 37 years ago and he and his wife have been in AA for a long time. They were both heroin addicts and met in rehab, but lied to me for years about that until I found out they both have Hepatitis C. We have one son who is 41 years old and still attempting to have some sort of meaningful relati...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Some of you might remember my sharing on my trip to go see my daughter's grandmother who was supposed to never be able to fly here to see us again. She is ill I agree but she seems to be doing better than what we were ever told she would be. We went to see her and the trip was incredibly dysfunctional and yet thr...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi guys I need some help.. today if possible!!!! Big ask given the time difference and most of you are asleep.. its now 2pm tuesday afternoon for me. I have never lied to my husband. I have never kept anything from him. Except whats inside the bright wrapper of his gift on Xmas morning that is. I am a Nurse....

Pashay · Pashay

Trying to connect with others that have been widowed by alcohol addiction. My husband of 17 years died in November of liver failure at the young age of 43. We had been seperated the last 6 months, but we were still very close, talking at least every other day. I am having a hard time dealing with his dea...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Getting ready to make a fears list as well as a mini second 4th step to share with my sponsor next time we meet .. I'm noticing this week, it seems everything is harder .. I don't really want to be around anyone lately which of course isn't really realistic. I find myself feeling guilty for having these fee...

stephaniej · stephaniej

So I have always intellectually understood the Al Anon concepts of Progress, Not Perfection and Be Kind and Gentle to Yourself. But I have always had a hard time actually implementing these in my daily life. Today at my Weight Watchers meeting, our leader said something that was a real "a-ha&...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all, I joined this group last spring and started attending face-to-face meetings, I've been doing a lot of reading, counseling, working through the steps. Last June, my ex-ABF and I broke up after 3 years together and Alanon has been such a wonderful part of my life during this last year. I'm so tha...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My daughter brought my grandson over to wash, said they didn't have money to wash at home, brought some of her and boyfriend's clothes, no detergent. She finished cleaning for me and was ready to leave, said she was in a hurry, couldn't wait for her son to finish his washing. I told her she needed to wai...

Jay76 · Jay76

Let me start of by saying that I am very new to all of this. Im just starting in my recovery process and honestly just recently realized how screwed up my childhood actually was. Ive never posted anything on any message board before and I just started really even looking at them.I am in desperate need of...

Hope4Peace · Hope4Peace

I have been going to al-anon for awhile and it's been a miracle. I'm now ready to go to Step Four, but I moved to a new city (very big city) six months ago. I'm still going to al-anon, but I don't have a sponsor, yet. While I love the meetings I attend, the members constantly change and I have not been able to fe...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

A few months back I had a situation come up where I tried to leave and AH would not let me shut my car door and would not let me leave. It was after that where I determined if it ever happened again I would call 911. I'm sure y'all are familiar with the spinning, where a conversation is started and then sudden...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My 17 y.o. grandson called this a.m. after 8a.m. when I ask where he was, he said at home. He said he didn't go to school because he didn't have any clean clothes and didn't have money to wash. I asked his why he didn't call me yesterday, I give him $20.00 when he go to church with me on Sunday. There is a wa...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sick & tired! I am so in need of support in this area. I have been hurting & wanting to sleep all the time. This morning before I got up I had a nightmare again about my dad. I woke up crying. I miss him so much that he keeps appearing in my dreams--I heard they call that visitation. I sometimes fee...

daisy31 · daisy31

I attend 2 meetings a week and am also doing a book study meeting as well. I have been going to alanon for about 7 months now and have really found much serenity in it. Someone told me to not start the steps yet because I am still such a newbie. The thing is that this book study I am in we are really delving in...

britcatli · britcatli

I live in Carlsbad CA I am trying this out I need help maybe a woman if u live in the area please respond

amills4294 · amills4294

I admit I've been letting my recovery slip and using the excuse that life has been just too overwhelming and busy as of late. I have to get back on track and do my daily readings and start working in my 12 step workbook again (since I lost my other one!). Spouse is moving all his belongings back into our hou...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi everyone. Im not having the greatest night and could use some prayers being sent my way im really struggling and need some support thanks

Sara1976 · Sara1976

I dont understand why I feel guilty when I ask him not drink when he is with the children. He tells me that Im trying to control him that Im nothing to him and that I can live my life the way I chose and he will do the same. I almost feel pathetic to ask for that and then he says things that make me second guess myse...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My A son is keeping my off balance. He comes to me saying he wants to find a job and get his life together, I provide the needed gas to go to look for this job he says he will apply for, then he needs more gas and supplies such as washing powders, personal needs for looking clean, then he needs to go back to the in...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

Hello Everyone, It has been a while since I last spoke on here and I decided today to come and read some post from the website again. Re-reading all my post and replys was scary! I didn't realize how different I am looking back now. I have not spoken to him since January and the last time I decided to cut i...

Pushka · Pushka

I keep giving stuff to God (my HP) and then of course picking it back up. Self will WOW .. I am dealing with that one hard at the moment. Self Will does not create results it's what someone shared tonight. So true so true. So today .. God decided to give me a tiny smack up the side of the head .. apparently I n...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ISM's (Preview) Ok I've been in Alanon a long time but this issue is really getting to me. How do I deal with the daily controlling ism's and still maintain my own self worth? My AH is obssessed with time and money. He is constantly asking me about what time I'm going here or there (which is a nagging to tell me that I should b...	f2fmember	12	1588	Mar 19, 2012 by f2fmember
	Being an introvert in alanon (Preview) Is anyone here an introvert? I am now realizing that that is why I am having a hard time with some shares in alanon. My thoughts are stuck in my head and body and yet I cannot organize them in a understandable way in the f2f meetings. I also take a while to process things others say in the meetings and have...	daisy31	13	998	Mar 18, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	advice (Preview) I'm new to this site and pretty new to alanon. I'm still learning how this all works. And I have a question on how to react to certain situations. My bf has been sober since nye. He doesn't believe in meetings so he's not really doing anything to help himself other than not drinking. Well just last w...	julesredgirl	9	559	Mar 18, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	st. patty's day conundrums (Preview) St Pat's is hard for me. Coming from a HUUUGE Irish family, drinking was the main priority on this day for many years. I woke today and went for a walk, I let my kitties out in the sun. I just did things I wanted to do. I did think a few times about all my friends who are out in the chaos, wearing green, with t...	Michelle814	8	453	Mar 18, 2012 by Michelle814
	Here we go again... (Preview) Hey everyone...past week has been a rollercoaster for me. I set some major boundaries and it was so hard to! He left me alone for a few days, then today the texts started, like "nice to know ya". Not long after the calls started. I took a few until I realized that he had to have been drinking to be...	Corgi2	9	546	Mar 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	My First Run (Preview) I wanted to share how I am healing today. Alanon has helped me redefine and define in new ways what recovery actually is. For me, I am realizing how much recovery has to do with my attitudes. As I pay attention to my attitudes, I begin to see how in so many ways my attitudes hinder me. A big barrier for me is th...	BlueCloud	9	390	Mar 18, 2012 by rehprof
	detaching is hard but has to be done (Preview) Hi my ex ABf turned up at 5 this morning full of drink and drungs. I opended the bedroom window and asked him to leae nicely. He climbed the fence and started throwing stones at my bedroom window. My 19 years old son went down stairs and told him to leave. He kept asking for me saying he has no where to go. My...	Tracy	6	551	Mar 18, 2012 by rehprof
	I AM NOT ALONE! (Preview) I know that I am not alone so why do I feel like I am sometimes? I am working on being more positive & excited about life. I hope that tomorrow looks better than today. I hope that I can get up & feel like getting up! *I saw the doctor on Weds. I am playing the waiting game again. I know that it can be that w...*	Hoot Nanny	4	546	Mar 18, 2012 by Carla042
	step work board (Preview) Step 9 has been posted to the Step Work Board . Please join us and share your thoughttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48321049/step-9-alanon/	hotrod	0	256	Mar 18, 2012 by hotrod
	obligation (Preview) Interesting awareness I had on obligation .. somewhere in the meeting read, I heard that each of us has an obligation to work through what we are, where we are, when we are .. we have been given so much and come so far and our shares regardless of what they are will help someone in the future going through...	MeTwo2	5	548	Mar 18, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Adult Child Related - Just Thinking about Addictions (Preview) Hi, Something has been going around in my head. In the aca big red book it reads, " Many adult children find ACA and begin recovery. A few seem to do well only to act out in addictions such as drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, or compulsive spending. Many of these addictions have been called secon...	Tracey C	2	378	Mar 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Excerpt from ODAT reading for the day (Preview) Today's Reminder: I do not have to accept the continuous misery that goes with alcoholism. I will not surrender to the vagaries and machinations of the alcoholic. No one can distort my thinking unless I permit it. Then: God help me to accept the responsibility for finding a better way of life through s...	Jackie11	5	4951	Mar 18, 2012 by Corgi2
	lots of learning/long week (Preview) so i've missed the majority of my meetings for that last almost several days .. I went to one this morning .. I have another on Sunday and one on Monday evening.. So much of the learning has been interesting .. I'm tired this week; nearly to the point of feeling overwhelmed by many unavoidable circumstan...	MeTwo2	5	408	Mar 18, 2012 by daisy31
	Feeling Defeated! (Preview) I know I need sleep in a big way. I know I tend to take on too much responsibility. Awhile back I took on a fundraiser for my 13 year olds class to help fund them going to Washington DC. I am heading up the food commity that does the most and more frequent events. Today some kids from the class are coming to my ho...	Breakingfree	9	548	Mar 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Are you married to my husband? (Preview) I have been reading this board religiously since last Friday, and it is amazing how much I can relate to the stories on this board. It is like alot of you are in my house and talking about my AH. I never realized until going to this board how sure I am that he has a problem. I have been struggling with this nag...	frustratedandconfused	7	625	Mar 18, 2012 by katiekate
	Humor... (Preview) The Thirteenth Step... "My life is completely unmanagable, I am looking for a job, but haven't had any luck in the past 3 years, I have a nice ten speed bicycle, and live in a half way house. A local church and social services help pay my rent. I have good friends that pitched in to buy me a hair cut, and bod...	John	6	1045	Mar 18, 2012 by Jennifer
	it is tomorrow (Preview) It is now tomorrow & I am having a moment. I have anxiety over something I did so I am having a hard time typing this. My thoughts must be racing or something because the words won't come out right. That is pretty much where I am right now. Something or someone from my past is taking away a little of my ser...	Hoot Nanny	2	310	Mar 18, 2012 by Jerry F
	pregnant and new to this.. (Preview) i can't believe i am posting here, as this is all new to me and i'm a bit confused/lost as to where to start. first off, i'm 30 years old and 7 1/2 months pregnant with our first child. my significant other (sorry i dont know the lingo for this board yet), is 33 and has been struggling wtih depression for abou...	storm	9	653	Mar 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	difficult times (Preview) My last post told you about my action with my problem son. Unfortunately the situation deteriorated further. That night in question, he and others tried to rob a store for drink and the owner of the store got badly injured. Son was high on drugs and drink. His actions have immense consequences and I am s...	maire rua	7	429	Mar 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Starting anew (Preview) For most of my adult life I suffered from a tremendous loneliness. Even when I was in a relationship I felt chilled with loneliness and I kept believing that demonstrating my love to my significant other was the way out of that. What I have learned through al anon was that the loneliness couldn't be cur...	orchidlover	7	443	Mar 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	OT - Funny Share (Preview) Adding insult to my already smarting ego which yes .. I am still sore after my little debacle on Sunday. I did my morning Tuesday deal, which is an open AA meeting .. love this group great group of people. I'm doing so much better about being open and not so standoffish which is a big deal for me. Anyway,...	Pushka	7	342	Mar 17, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Is there a "choice" for alcoholics, to get better or not? (Preview) Hi all... I was reading through some older posts, and stumbled across a comment from "Diamond" - a very occasional - but very wise - person who posts on MIP every once in awhile... This is what she had to say, with the whole "is alcohol a choice, is alcoholism a disease, how does it diff...	canadianguy	29	1037	Mar 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	Accepting al-ateen sponsor situation (Preview) Hi, I haven't posted on here for a while. In the end Al-anon Headquarters was notified about the male sponsor of the al-ateen group and also told about the covering up going on by the women connected to the parent group. They are doing an investigation into it all, but with all the covering up, I don't h...	Tracey C	3	426	Mar 17, 2012 by Tracey C
	update on my request for help (Preview) As some of you may remember from my other log on name... I have recently identifed with being an abused child, and I have been doing alot of inner child work I posted for help yesterday and I feared I was reacting in a childish manner. Entering into drama that was not mine to enter. Creating an incident w...	Oksie	6	424	Mar 17, 2012 by Oksie
	Do Not Enter Signs (Preview) I have been working soooo hard to take those signs down and it is kind of scary at the same time it has been a wonderful feeling. I'm still not good in social situations that's ok .. hopefully people will just overlook my quirks that way. Note to self .. keep your hands out of someone else's coffee!!! The...	Pushka	5	494	Mar 17, 2012 by Oksie
	Can Alanon Help? (Preview) I quit using alcohol, pot and cocaine years ago and have been in AA since then. I went through the steps and had a spiritual awakening. That took me out of denial and I realized my family is far from perfect. In fact, I have non-drinking but very selfish, narcissistic parents and some other very sick fami...	WorkingThroughIt	9	712	Mar 16, 2012 by Hope4Peace
	Empowerment without the Anger (Preview) Soo .. LOL .. I've been feeling very empowered however I've been feeling pretty angry and with good reason, it's completely justifiable anger. I had called my very wise and wonderful sponsor and shared with her that I want to feel empowered without needing to feel angry at the same time. What she sha...	Pushka	4	501	Mar 16, 2012 by Breakingfree
	went back to a face to face meeting (Preview) Last night I went back to Al anon and even though it was a business/inventory meeting; I got so much out of it. I think it was such clarity and understanding that the focus of the meetings has to be about me. The reason I need to attend is to heal and not focus on anger and restment. It is so great to listen...	emil	5	373	Mar 16, 2012 by emil
	When does forgiveness take over? (Preview) I have no idea why I am having such a hard time with forgiveness. I am still angry, I am still holding on to past hurts, and I am miserable. I know that true forgiveness will set me free but I feel like I'm making up stuff to keep my unhappy. I'm sure it's all part of my own co-dependent behaviors and thinki...	ilovedogs	25	613	Mar 16, 2012 by pinkchip
	I turned my phone back on... (Preview) Thanks everyone for being there last night when I really needed you. I couldn't stop projecting and making the worst case scenerios. I ended up turning my phone on this morning and didn't get the messages I expected. I got "can you call me please, i really need to talk to you." I was sure I was g...	Corgi2	4	408	Mar 16, 2012 by Pushka
	ACA daily affirmations (Preview) Both of which are pertinent to me in the last few days.. just wanted to share here too. March 14 - Today I am optimistic about the experiences and people that come into my life. I will view all encounters as opportunites to expand my awareness. I am not threatened by people or by situations. Challeng...	Oksie	0	2818	Mar 16, 2012 by Oksie
	Using My Al-Anon Toolbelt at Work (Preview) I work for a program that deals with parents of teens. I had an irate parent call me today (my staff warned me that she was "on the warpath and was absolutely impossible to deal with"). It's amazing when you allow someone to say what they have to say and not interrupt them (just like we do at our m...	Green Eyes	5	385	Mar 16, 2012 by Aloha
	Went to my first Open AA meeting (Preview) I'm feeling a little speechless (obviouly not speechless enough not to write something ). Powerful speaker telling a powerful story. I'm used to getting that punched-in-the-chest, moved-to-tears feeling in Al-Anon meetings. I didn't expect it in an AA meeting. I'm not sure what I expected. Th...	Very Very Tired	3	474	Mar 15, 2012 by Sweet Stanley
	It works when you work it (Preview) Last Tuesday night, my AH and I had an intense and candid (but not ugly or abusive) conversation about his drinking. I tried to take to heart a lot of the advice in Getting Them Sober...I said what I needed to say. I wasn't mean. I was clear and direct, and I said things only once. I didn't say anything t...	stephaniej	8	637	Mar 15, 2012 by ilovedogs
	FREAKING OUT (Preview) Just turned my phone off because the calls wouldn't stop. he kept calling and telling me how i wasn't there for him when he needs me and he's so done with me. he knows just what to say to hurt me...saying im to busy with work and family and my animals... im literally having a panic attack because im so scared...	Corgi2	6	433	Mar 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Struggling.... (Preview) I've been in AlAnon for 3 years and it has given me many gifts and blessings. I have been blessed to meet some wonderful people and have grown from their ESH. My struggle is this...one of my very best friends and sponsee recently passed away from a very tough battle with several types of cancer...Two m...	shellyj123	8	776	Mar 15, 2012 by maryjane
	Thanks for the love...still struggling (Preview) Thanks to everyone who took the time to send positive thoughts and prayers my way. I wasn't in the mood to share yesterday, today I have felt my feelings and think it would be good to get it off my chest. For those who haven't read my posts before, one of my qualifiers is my ex boyfriend, whom I have an active...	Corgi2	3	312	Mar 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	need to work my programme. (Preview) I have been with my partner 7 years . I have been in al anon 4 and a half years and he is in AA 3 years. I am not happy in this relationship whether he is drinking or not. I ended it about a months ago and he has gone bak to drinking and is blaming me. I know the 3 Cs I know it was his choice to pick up and it is his dis...	Tracy	3	373	Mar 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	Problem son (Preview) For some time my youngest son has put me through hell on earth. It came to a head today when he told me he was moving out and I told him to go right on ahead. I have never felt such relief in my life. He is running with a problem crowd and has not made it to school in the last six months so its been a rough one. My fath...	maire rua	4	468	Mar 15, 2012 by pinkchip
	What to do with exhusband (Preview) My ex and I separated 37 years ago and he and his wife have been in AA for a long time. They were both heroin addicts and met in rehab, but lied to me for years about that until I found out they both have Hepatitis C. We have one son who is 41 years old and still attempting to have some sort of meaningful relati...	nonbeliever	13	853	Mar 14, 2012 by John
	Anger (Preview) Some of you might remember my sharing on my trip to go see my daughter's grandmother who was supposed to never be able to fly here to see us again. She is ill I agree but she seems to be doing better than what we were ever told she would be. We went to see her and the trip was incredibly dysfunctional and yet thr...	MeTwo2	8	540	Mar 14, 2012 by Oksie
	Help please (Preview) Hi guys I need some help.. today if possible!!!! Big ask given the time difference and most of you are asleep.. its now 2pm tuesday afternoon for me. I have never lied to my husband. I have never kept anything from him. Except whats inside the bright wrapper of his gift on Xmas morning that is. I am a Nurse....	Oksie	15	603	Mar 14, 2012 by Oksie
	Looking for others who have been widowed by alcohol addiction (Preview) Trying to connect with others that have been widowed by alcohol addiction. My husband of 17 years died in November of liver failure at the young age of 43. We had been seperated the last 6 months, but we were still very close, talking at least every other day. I am having a hard time dealing with his dea...	Pashay	2	583	Mar 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	Just tired .. (Preview) Getting ready to make a fears list as well as a mini second 4th step to share with my sponsor next time we meet .. I'm noticing this week, it seems everything is harder .. I don't really want to be around anyone lately which of course isn't really realistic. I find myself feeling guilty for having these fee...	MeTwo2	2	271	Mar 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Reframing Some Tried and True Al Anon Sayings (Preview) So I have always intellectually understood the Al Anon concepts of Progress, Not Perfection and Be Kind and Gentle to Yourself. But I have always had a hard time actually implementing these in my daily life. Today at my Weight Watchers meeting, our leader said something that was a real "a-ha&...	stephaniej	7	444	Mar 14, 2012 by pinkchip
	Needing some ES&H (Preview) Hi all, I joined this group last spring and started attending face-to-face meetings, I've been doing a lot of reading, counseling, working through the steps. Last June, my ex-ABF and I broke up after 3 years together and Alanon has been such a wonderful part of my life during this last year. I'm so tha...	Doozy	12	510	Mar 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Crazy daughter annonced she maybe going to jail! (Preview) My daughter brought my grandson over to wash, said they didn't have money to wash at home, brought some of her and boyfriend's clothes, no detergent. She finished cleaning for me and was ready to leave, said she was in a hurry, couldn't wait for her son to finish his washing. I told her she needed to wai...	Highlyfavored	2	446	Mar 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I want to fix my marriage (Preview) Let me start of by saying that I am very new to all of this. Im just starting in my recovery process and honestly just recently realized how screwed up my childhood actually was. Ive never posted anything on any message board before and I just started really even looking at them.I am in desperate need of...	Jay76	7	796	Mar 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Advice on Step 4 (Preview) I have been going to al-anon for awhile and it's been a miracle. I'm now ready to go to Step Four, but I moved to a new city (very big city) six months ago. I'm still going to al-anon, but I don't have a sponsor, yet. While I love the meetings I attend, the members constantly change and I have not been able to fe...	Hope4Peace	6	389	Mar 14, 2012 by Hope4Peace
	Boundaries (Preview) A few months back I had a situation come up where I tried to leave and AH would not let me shut my car door and would not let me leave. It was after that where I determined if it ever happened again I would call 911. I'm sure y'all are familiar with the spinning, where a conversation is started and then sudden...	Jackie11	12	610	Mar 14, 2012 by Jackie11
	It's always something!!! (Preview) My 17 y.o. grandson called this a.m. after 8a.m. when I ask where he was, he said at home. He said he didn't go to school because he didn't have any clean clothes and didn't have money to wash. I asked his why he didn't call me yesterday, I give him $20.00 when he go to church with me on Sunday. There is a wa...	Highlyfavored	3	518	Mar 14, 2012 by Oksie
	sick & tired of being sick & tired; can anyone relate? (Preview) I am sick & tired! I am so in need of support in this area. I have been hurting & wanting to sleep all the time. This morning before I got up I had a nightmare again about my dad. I woke up crying. I miss him so much that he keeps appearing in my dreams--I heard they call that visitation. *I sometimes fee...*	Hoot Nanny	1	336	Mar 14, 2012 by Oksie
	Being so honest is making me squirm... (Preview) I attend 2 meetings a week and am also doing a book study meeting as well. I have been going to alanon for about 7 months now and have really found much serenity in it. Someone told me to not start the steps yet because I am still such a newbie. The thing is that this book study I am in we are really delving in...	daisy31	6	1594	Mar 14, 2012 by Oksie
	new!!!! (Preview) I live in Carlsbad CA I am trying this out I need help maybe a woman if u live in the area please respond	britcatli	1	283	Mar 13, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Trying to get back into the groove (Preview) I admit I've been letting my recovery slip and using the excuse that life has been just too overwhelming and busy as of late. I have to get back on track and do my daily readings and start working in my 12 step workbook again (since I lost my other one!). Spouse is moving all his belongings back into our hou...	amills4294	3	322	Mar 13, 2012 by amills4294
	Having a hard time... (Preview) Hi everyone. Im not having the greatest night and could use some prayers being sent my way im really struggling and need some support thanks	Corgi2	7	390	Mar 13, 2012 by hotrod
	Why is it always the non alcoholic that is the bad guy? (Preview) I dont understand why I feel guilty when I ask him not drink when he is with the children. He tells me that Im trying to control him that Im nothing to him and that I can live my life the way I chose and he will do the same. I almost feel pathetic to ask for that and then he says things that make me second guess myse...	Sara1976	10	551	Mar 13, 2012 by Very Very Tired
	I Don't Have The Wisdom..... (Preview) My A son is keeping my off balance. He comes to me saying he wants to find a job and get his life together, I provide the needed gas to go to look for this job he says he will apply for, then he needs more gas and supplies such as washing powders, personal needs for looking clean, then he needs to go back to the in...	DreamsOver	4	422	Mar 13, 2012 by Oksie
	99% FEELING GREAT!!! 1% WORRY LEFT IN ME!!!! (Preview) Hello Everyone, It has been a while since I last spoke on here and I decided today to come and read some post from the website again. Re-reading all my post and replys was scary! I didn't realize how different I am looking back now. I have not spoken to him since January and the last time I decided to cut i...	Julie3310	2	420	Mar 13, 2012 by oldergal
	Realization .. (Preview) I keep giving stuff to God (my HP) and then of course picking it back up. Self will WOW .. I am dealing with that one hard at the moment. Self Will does not create results it's what someone shared tonight. So true so true. So today .. God decided to give me a tiny smack up the side of the head .. apparently I n...	Pushka	8	640	Mar 13, 2012 by pineapple
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.