Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sweeetr · sweeetr

My AH wants us to meet after work last night for dinner. He txted me what I wanted to drink, he seems to always beat me there, my reply "sweet tea". I get there and he has a "drink" and my tea is sitting there with a shot of vodka beside it. I said is that mine ?? he said yes,you use to like...

KLotus · KLotus

My thoughts: How is it that my AH of 3 years can be one year "sober," yet still immature, inconsiderate, manipulative, and full of rage enough to be increasingly more physically aggressive with me? To my knowledge, he has not picked up a single drink. Yet, he ditched AA almost as quickly...

sookie · sookie

I keep reminding myself...why is he like that? Why would a grown man DO that? How does an adult THINK that way--honestly? Because he is an alcoholic! So he will twist everything around to be about him and what a victim HE is and act like a spoiled, selfish child despite the fact he is in his 30's. And he wi...

JoElla74 · JoElla74

Hello, I'm a newbie here and new to Al-Anon. I am a recovering alcholic, 3 1/2 years sober. I attended AA to get sober. I'm married, 7 years and husband is an alcholic. I know only they can decide if they are an alcoholic but he shows all the signs of alcoholism. He's made it clear to me a couple of times t...

Ruhig · Ruhig

I was working with a new client today, when she brings up her alcoholic son in law. [insert typical story... DUI/fines ect..] and I replied "to each his own" she looks me dead in the eye and puts down her lunch, straight faced and says "at 50 years old, don't you think he'd cut it out?&quo...

Ashley89 · Ashley89

Hello everyone, I have just signed up to this group tonight as i feel i need some support, advice and to speak to people who can understand whats going on. I have been with my partner for 7 months. When we first met i had no idea he was an alcoholic, as time past he started to drink more and more i confronted hi...

silent · silent

ive decided to go ahead and go to the beach with this person,reason is i see no harm in it for one and reason he wants to keep me in secret is he keeps all of his lady freinds in secret at 1st just to see if it will work out,so i told him agin on phone that i did not want or need a dateing commitment,lol couldnt have...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I really am coming to think that the boundary stuff is so so crucial but its also a way to forgive yourself for being with the A in the first place. If you have no boundaries it isn't your fault. We are supposed to learn them in childhood. Some of us didn't do that. Now that I am so aware of boundaries I am rea...

CDK · CDK

Morning everyone. I hope everyone has a good day today. Im off work, and alone. Im really struggling. I cant eat really. It sounds stupid, but Im really having a hard time. I try to eat, but I cant seem to finish anything. I just gag. Everything is too much. I know not eating wont fix anything or make it all g...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, so much stuff going on around me my son gone to spain and has started dating a girl and YES her mum is an alcoholic. he caught her kissing some one else last week and has now gone back to her. i do not know the details and anyway it is none of my business he is 19. then my abf son has had trouble by where he...

Elizabeth10 · Elizabeth10

Hello, everyone! I've been attending "real" Al-Anon meetings since the middle of January. They have already helped me grow tremendously and meet amazing, inspiring people. My father is the A, and he was sober for about 10 years before he relapsed when I was about 8. He's been on-and-off...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

The June 2012 issue of The Forum has a great article titled, "Getting Off the Emotional Rollercoaster." My favorite exerpt: "The Al-Anon program taught me to focus on me. I learned that changing my behavior was all I could control in my life. The miracle was that the change in my behav...

John · John

Just wanted to land here for a few moments this morning and touch base with all you fine, wonderful people. As some of you know this past 18 months has taken some twist and turns that I never saw coming. Some of which tore me up to a point of despair and made sucking air on some days very hard to keep doing. I m...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I typed this up for myself and copied and pasted it here:I've heard this saying thrown around the rooms of Al Anon many times but I still don't get it. Detaching with love? I just don't understand how to apply it. Right now, I feel like I'm walking around with an angry chip on my shoulder because of his rela...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Well, AH drank this weekend while I was gone. I saw the purchases on our shopper's card online. I had checked it to look for coupons and some of the coupons that came up were for beer, so that tells me he drank. Then, I walked the dog down to the park and saw his empties in the trash cans. Now, they could ha...

Country Boy · Country Boy

It has been suggested to me to attend an open AA meeting to help gain insight into my AW's disease. Looks like there are few different types, IE discussion, speaker, speaker/discussion...... Guess I am a little confused about which one to try. I don't want to feel like I am invading, so to speak, someon...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am sitting on my deck sipping coffee and over looking Lake Michigan, life is good. The kids are still in bed and it's just the dog, cat, me and God spending time relaxing out here at 6:30 in the morning. I work later and have Church tonight and it will be a good and busy day. My packing up for the move is ahead...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

I've been living with an active cocaine/heroin addict for over 3 years now. I'm 22, I work full time, I'm finishing up my degree taking evening classes in addition to that. The entire time we've been together (with brief periods of sobriety, and maybe one period of a few months without the 'dry' behav...

chrissyw1207 · chrissyw1207

I am new here so please bare with me. I have been with my BF for almost 3 yrs now. When we first met he said he only drank occassionally. I was soon to find out this was a major under estimate. Needless to say last yr I had enough. He left my home drunk and I called 911. He was very drunk. They pulled him ove...

pneys · pneys

I just discovered this site and am finding it helpful...thank you all for your participation. I have been in Al Anon for several years and my husband has been in recovery for multiple substances/sexual integrity for 3 years. For the past year, I have been dealing with a situation that pops up ever...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I wonder sometimes if I am really making a difference & that my life is worth living. But, I ponder the fact that I have come a long way & that you are all part of my recovery & that my life is worth a whole lot. I have been able to reach so many people on this board. I have grown through triumph &...

Smukke · Smukke

Dear Al-Anon community, What a day!! I spent the first day alone in our new house, when a very unsympathic man rushed into my neighbour's house and started a fight. I was so scared, I called the police. After doing that I was even more scared. He saw me, of course he knows I called them!! I called two Al...

Fina · Fina

I bet we all know a teen or preteen who could use a meeting. Well, there is one scheduled for tonight at 9 pm Eastern in the "FamilyTeens" chatroom. I and (hopefully) Dani22 will be there to chair/sponsor/monitor a meeting or, if preferred, just answer questions. Your support in gettin...

silent · silent

ive been asked out by a member of my church thats single man,he clicked on me on my f/b and asked me,so i asked him why he chose me?,he just said he had been thinking about me for a long time,um i said yes that it would be nice to go to the beach so he is picking me up at 3p thurs,afternoon,i been very nervous he is...

littlehawk · littlehawk

Wow! It's so hard to believe that just a couple of months ago, I was a basket case. I was insane with worry, guilt, panic and control. I walked into my first meeting thoroughly confused about why my A wanted to hurt me with her drinking, not understanding the difference between a boundary with a conseque...

sarah1979 · sarah1979

Hi all, Thank goodness for this board and for alanon meetings or I think I would go completely insane! My AH came back from his meeting tonight in a really low mood. He said 'well I belong to a big club full of **** ups' and preceeded to lay face down on the sofa. Anyway he said he'd stayed to talk to people and...

CDK · CDK

Thank you all for encouraging me to go to a meeting. I went tonight...hungry, overwhelmed, weepy and tired. Everyone was so nice. They all greeted me, and I felt almost like I wasnt even there if that makes sense. My friends and family are all having cook outs, and Im at an al anon meeting. Ha. But, one lad...

ImMatt · ImMatt

Where do I belong, here in Al-Anon, in AA, or both? I know this is a question that only I can answer, but I really am struggling with it. My father was an alcoholic. He passed away on Christmas day. I know I want Al-Anon just based on this fact alone. It turns out, my wife is an alcoholic. She entered det...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have been gone for 3 days at a tennis tourament for my son. I noticed that AH and I communicate much better when we're just apart. So, basically that means a few texts a day and one phone call. It seems to work and we get along. What I have come to realize is that I need a break from him. A break from the i...

ksw1963 · ksw1963

I live in Tennesse and my adult son (24 years old) who is abusing alcohol lives in Florida. I have not seen him in three years; however, I have regularly talked with him on the phone. On the phone he tries to present himself in a good light. I have received word that he is "drinking himself to dea...

Pushka · Pushka

I had a good laugh at the expense of myself today .. I enjoy William Shakespeare quotes and for a while was posting pretty consistently on fb with them. Well hmm .. apparently the whole expectation thing goes back a little further than I realized .. LOL! I can't believe this isn't in one of the daily rea...

Smukke · Smukke

Hi Al-Anon community, I have been going to Al-Anon since two months and I can already notice changes in me and changes in the relationship with my AH. I noticed that many people do not really talk about the roots of their problems, rather about the present and how to think and live in a better way. I cannot...

georgem · georgem

Today has been a whirlwind day for me and my A. It started a while ago when she moved out of the house we shared and moved in to her moms house. When she was drinking her mom was and still is her biggest enabler. Then we moved on to just casual "dating". All of these were her ideas. This whole time it...

Sassy1 · Sassy1

Hello all... I'm really new to Al-Anon so my apologies if I just spew a bunch of word vomit. I started going to meeting last week, when the man I love told me he needed time & space and basically pushed me out of his life. We haven't been together long, but we fell hard & fast. We are both in our 40's an...

sagj · sagj

This is my first experience with Al-Anon. I found that the local group meets on Tuesdays at 8:00. So that is tomorrow. I have been sitting here for 6 hours trying to find some answers. My husband of 9 years recently quit drinking. This was after another violent episode where I had to call the police...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Hi everyone, I've been checking the board very infrequently as I've had major stuff going on. I think I told u all in feb my AH had a OD on Chrystal meth. Said he'd only done it a few times didn't know it was so powerful, it almost killed him, not gonna do that again.. Bla bla.. Well I went against my better jud...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

In working on my personal inventory I'm coming to the conclusion I've always been screwed up when it comes to accepting love, compliments or any kind of gift from others. I think I have always believed I don't deserve it, that the only way to be "worth" anything was for me over sacrifice myse...

CDK · CDK

IThanks for your kindness in my original post. I think I am going to try my first meeting this week. I really dont feel well. Every second is a struggle. I read of people feeling relieved and free, and I dont feel that at all. My body is a mess. I dont sleep well. I either cant sleep, or I wake up drenched in sw...

Ruhig · Ruhig

Hi. I am an addict. My fiancée of 3 years is also. We both have been sober for more than 3 years. Last week, I got mad and beat up my fiancée. Why? He's not working his program. Ridiculous, right? I thought so too. I went to an aa meeting and shared this. And a woman told me to hit up an alanon meeting. So I'm tes...

lostinmyworld53 · lostinmyworld53

I'm currently in a long term relationship with a member of the NA program. He relapsed about two months ago and has been using steadily but safely. His weakness is alcohol and due to some recent events, he's started to drink more heavily. He told me that he's tired of it and wants to get clean and go bac...

Rosebud2860 · Rosebud2860

Tonight was my second night at Alanon, and I was already cryiing when I got there and trying very hard to keep my composure. A few people had spoken and all eyes were on me and I went ahead and started to speak. Maybe I spoke too much trying to fill in the blanks. But what I had come for was trying to deal with...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everybody, I'm curious about your experience with how you felt/what you did after the extreme drama of an A/exA/exRA etc..was put to rest [ hopefully!!! ] My version, I alternate between go-get-um and brain mush, with probably too much self criticism thrown in. fyi right now my dog and I are sa...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

For those of you who were married to or dated alcoholics, and are/were single and dating, how do you feel about dating recovering alcoholics? I went out on a date with a guy who seems great. But he's in recovery. That scares the you know what out of me. I liked talking to him, because we could discuss the pr...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I am taking a break from work because if I didn't I'd start to get frustrated and then react with a lack of patience and anger. One of my soldering joints in a bathroom remodel job just won't seal so when I turn on the water....of course...IT LEAKS!!. So time out...get a Diet Pepsi and come to the board t...

Fina · Fina

If prayer is speaking to God, then meditation is listening to God. How do you speak to your Higher Power? How do you listen for and to your Higher Power? Please come and share your own experience, strength and hope on Prayer and Meditation. Please come and support the group and learn from the experie...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

I attended my second F2F meeting today. Yea for baby steps! One of the questions I am still working with is, how do I protect my children from their father? In the past I have spoken up or stepped in when I feel he has crossed a line or I didn't agree with the way he was handling the situation. This approach al...

dragonflys · dragonflys

So I am not sure if I am in some sort of survival mode. I asked my AH to move out, and its been almost 2 weeks. After crazy talk for days, he has finally given up and realized that I am no longer going to fight with him so he has stopped texting. Thank you HP, I thought I was going to loose it there the first few d...

georgem · georgem

Where too start.... I have been in a relationship with my GF for about 4 years and about 18 months ago she joined AA and has grown so much and became a different person. I worry almost once a week about her drinking again. I know that i have no control over that and it had driven me crazy. First it started wit...

Oksie · Oksie

I have been pretty busy with stuff and havent been around much. I have been reading though. I have spent most of my time on the ACA board when i have been here Reading here sometimes gives me a sense of peace. I love the ACA board and i really wish more people would join us to share this peace from the alanon b...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Breaking Free mentioned in her post today that she realizes that life will bring daily struggles. This reminded me of how much better I am handling the struggles that are inevitable. (I like to refer to them as challenges; it sounds more feasible to me.) I have taken on a major project in our home. I n...

silent · silent

ive just read a post on this and its another one of my issues today cause ive allowed others to run all over me,wow ,ive never thought about it and that pateince i also thought was part of allowing others to run all over me,ugh.so how is the 2 separate is what im asking today ,lol this is been a part of life all...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you let your mind convince you that God had put before you a path and you just had to trust? Have you ever thought God had sent a person to you who could love you because they saw life through the same lens you did? Have you ever met someone who you thought could help y...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have a long story to tell but I'll try to give the short version. I confronted my AH about the gun comments and about him driving on a suspended license. He agreed to live by my rules, which I clarified were actually boundaries but he didn't like it. I told him I'm not trying to control him but I don't tr...

CDK · CDK

Hello. I'm in the thick of it. Just left my alcoholic boyfriend of 4.5 years...well slipped out the back door really. Have sort of hung in there the last three weeks, hoping he'd get the point. Last night I found out, for some strange reason my best friend decided to invite him to be part of an art show. He...

Country Boy · Country Boy

I confronted my wife about her actions which led me to believe she was cheating. She admitted she had no idea who she was calling/texting & people are messing with her when she calls/texts them because they know what state she is in. I could tell she was feeling very guilty & embarrassed. She sa...

silent · silent

yestrday was my birthday so i get an unknown phone call from my ex a/d he tells me happy birthday then i ask him where are you at.he says at his bosses rent house all alone that his mom and him didnt see eye to eye so he walked over to the rental house oh my my heart goes to raceing he asks if i would bring my yorkie...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I am thankful for positive growth and change. I'm thankful for my wonderful F2F meeting. I realize that it's important to focus on the positive. I am and have hit my head against the same wall over and over again. It comes to the subject of me traveling to see friends. I have local friends, I catch flack fo...

silent · silent

so far so good as ive managed to not try and run him down,but i havent been all that good just lucky me that he didnt answer me as i belive he is out of mins on his cell i texted him and said ..hi...but no answer back good for me,and ive been feeling like a stalker as ive or was checking his f/b page out but i defrei...

KLotus · KLotus

My AH was gone for a week, and returned yesterday evening (he is still staying with his parents). I let his mother take our 2 year old daughter to the airport to pick him up, so that he could have time with her. I have no idea where he has been, and have not asked. All I know is that I felt some relief this wee...

beckylee · beckylee

Hi everyone, i am here hoping to get some wisdom and insight into this disease. I have posted my info on my Bio if anyone is interested. I am recently seperated (His decision) my AH " Doesn't want to be accountable to anyone. " He is living in a small apt a few miles away. He's been inconsistent w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	watered down tea (Preview) My AH wants us to meet after work last night for dinner. He txted me what I wanted to drink, he seems to always beat me there, my reply "sweet tea". I get there and he has a "drink" and my tea is sitting there with a shot of vodka beside it. I said is that mine ?? he said yes,you use to like...	sweeetr	1	431	May 31, 2012 by glad lee
	Clarity please? (Preview) My thoughts: How is it that my AH of 3 years can be one year "sober," yet still immature, inconsiderate, manipulative, and full of rage enough to be increasingly more physically aggressive with me? To my knowledge, he has not picked up a single drink. Yet, he ditched AA almost as quickly...	KLotus	10	636	May 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	selfish and immature (Preview) I keep reminding myself...why is he like that? Why would a grown man DO that? How does an adult THINK that way--honestly? Because he is an alcoholic! So he will twist everything around to be about him and what a victim HE is and act like a spoiled, selfish child despite the fact he is in his 30's. And he wi...	sookie	5	529	May 31, 2012 by sweeetr
	Don't know where I fit in anymore (Preview) Hello, I'm a newbie here and new to Al-Anon. I am a recovering alcholic, 3 1/2 years sober. I attended AA to get sober. I'm married, 7 years and husband is an alcholic. I know only they can decide if they are an alcoholic but he shows all the signs of alcoholism. He's made it clear to me a couple of times t...	JoElla74	8	494	May 31, 2012 by Pushka
	The family's view (Preview) I was working with a new client today, when she brings up her alcoholic son in law. [insert typical story... DUI/fines ect..] and I replied "to each his own" she looks me dead in the eye and puts down her lunch, straight faced and says "at 50 years old, don't you think he'd cut it out?&quo...	Ruhig	3	502	May 31, 2012 by maryjane
	New here & needing some advice (Preview) Hello everyone, I have just signed up to this group tonight as i feel i need some support, advice and to speak to people who can understand whats going on. I have been with my partner for 7 months. When we first met i had no idea he was an alcoholic, as time past he started to drink more and more i confronted hi...	Ashley89	6	607	May 31, 2012 by Ashley89
	my dicision still learning (Preview) ive decided to go ahead and go to the beach with this person,reason is i see no harm in it for one and reason he wants to keep me in secret is he keeps all of his lady freinds in secret at 1st just to see if it will work out,so i told him agin on phone that i did not want or need a dateing commitment,lol couldnt have...	silent	2	646	May 31, 2012 by silent
	the boundary stuff (Preview) I really am coming to think that the boundary stuff is so so crucial but its also a way to forgive yourself for being with the A in the first place. If you have no boundaries it isn't your fault. We are supposed to learn them in childhood. Some of us didn't do that. Now that I am so aware of boundaries I am rea...	orchidlover	11	796	May 31, 2012 by idontknow
	Will this stop? (Preview) Morning everyone. I hope everyone has a good day today. Im off work, and alone. Im really struggling. I cant eat really. It sounds stupid, but Im really having a hard time. I try to eat, but I cant seem to finish anything. I just gag. Everything is too much. I know not eating wont fix anything or make it all g...	CDK	5	545	May 31, 2012 by Breakingfree
	mind your own business (Preview) Hi all, so much stuff going on around me my son gone to spain and has started dating a girl and YES her mum is an alcoholic. he caught her kissing some one else last week and has now gone back to her. i do not know the details and anyway it is none of my business he is 19. then my abf son has had trouble by where he...	Tracy	4	913	May 31, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Newbie Introduction (Preview) Hello, everyone! I've been attending "real" Al-Anon meetings since the middle of January. They have already helped me grow tremendously and meet amazing, inspiring people. My father is the A, and he was sober for about 10 years before he relapsed when I was about 8. He's been on-and-off...	Elizabeth10	8	536	May 31, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Recommended Article in Al-Anon's "The Forum": My Decision to Get Off the Train (Preview) The June 2012 issue of The Forum has a great article titled, "Getting Off the Emotional Rollercoaster." My favorite exerpt: *"The Al-Anon program taught me to focus on me.* I learned that changing my behavior was all I could control in my life. The miracle was that the change in my behav...**	Green Eyes	3	492	May 31, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Hello Fellow Travelers! (Preview) Just wanted to land here for a few moments this morning and touch base with all you fine, wonderful people. As some of you know this past 18 months has taken some twist and turns that I never saw coming. Some of which tore me up to a point of despair and made sucking air on some days very hard to keep doing. I m...	John	6	646	May 30, 2012 by Oksie
	Loving detachment; help me out here (Preview) I typed this up for myself and copied and pasted it here:I've heard this saying thrown around the rooms of Al Anon many times but I still don't get it. Detaching with love? I just don't understand how to apply it. Right now, I feel like I'm walking around with an angry chip on my shoulder because of his rela...	ilovedogs	12	1892	May 30, 2012 by canadianguy
	He relapsed (Preview) Well, AH drank this weekend while I was gone. I saw the purchases on our shopper's card online. I had checked it to look for coupons and some of the coupons that came up were for beer, so that tells me he drank. Then, I walked the dog down to the park and saw his empties in the trash cans. Now, they could ha...	ilovedogs	10	716	May 30, 2012 by stephaniej
	Atending AA meeting (Preview) It has been suggested to me to attend an open AA meeting to help gain insight into my AW's disease. Looks like there are few different types, IE discussion, speaker, speaker/discussion...... Guess I am a little confused about which one to try. I don't want to feel like I am invading, so to speak, someon...	Country Boy	5	463	May 30, 2012 by Pushka
	Today is my 34th birthday! (Preview) I am sitting on my deck sipping coffee and over looking Lake Michigan, life is good. The kids are still in bed and it's just the dog, cat, me and God spending time relaxing out here at 6:30 in the morning. I work later and have Church tonight and it will be a good and busy day. My packing up for the move is ahead...	Breakingfree	14	755	May 30, 2012 by Jackie11
	Thinking about leaving, fed up and heartbroken (Preview) I've been living with an active cocaine/heroin addict for over 3 years now. I'm 22, I work full time, I'm finishing up my degree taking evening classes in addition to that. The entire time we've been together (with brief periods of sobriety, and maybe one period of a few months without the 'dry' behav...	Sangyaa	8	793	May 30, 2012 by michellelong
	HELP, living with an alcoholic (Preview) I am new here so please bare with me. I have been with my BF for almost 3 yrs now. When we first met he said he only drank occassionally. I was soon to find out this was a major under estimate. Needless to say last yr I had enough. He left my home drunk and I called 911. He was very drunk. They pulled him ove...	chrissyw1207	11	743	May 30, 2012 by Pushka
	Am I overreacting to a "damsel in distress" that my husband calls his friend? (Preview) I just discovered this site and am finding it helpful...thank you all for your participation. I have been in Al Anon for several years and my husband has been in recovery for multiple substances/sexual integrity for 3 years. For the past year, I have been dealing with a situation that pops up ever...	pneys	10	1100	May 30, 2012 by pneys
	I wonder & ponder... (Preview) I wonder sometimes if I am really making a difference & that my life is worth living. But, I ponder the fact that I have come a long way & that you are all part of my recovery & that my life is worth a whole lot. I have been able to reach so many people on this board. I have grown through triumph &...	Hoot Nanny	3	350	May 30, 2012 by Debilyn
	Crazy day (Preview) Dear Al-Anon community, What a day!! I spent the first day alone in our new house, when a very unsympathic man rushed into my neighbour's house and started a fight. I was so scared, I called the police. After doing that I was even more scared. He saw me, of course he knows I called them!! I called two Al...	Smukke	2	534	May 30, 2012 by Debilyn
	TUESDAY, 5/29, 9 PM EASTERN ALATEEN/PRETEEN MEETING teen preteen meeting Tuesday (Preview) I bet we all know a teen or preteen who could use a meeting. Well, there is one scheduled for tonight at 9 pm Eastern in the "FamilyTeens" chatroom. I and (hopefully) Dani22 will be there to chair/sponsor/monitor a meeting or, if preferred, just answer questions. Your support in gettin...	Fina	0	6548	May 29, 2012 by Fina
	i have a ? (Preview) ive been asked out by a member of my church thats single man,he clicked on me on my f/b and asked me,so i asked him why he chose me?,he just said he had been thinking about me for a long time,um i said yes that it would be nice to go to the beach so he is picking me up at 3p thurs,afternoon,i been very nervous he is...	silent	7	634	May 30, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	We have broken a pattern! (Preview) Wow! It's so hard to believe that just a couple of months ago, I was a basket case. I was insane with worry, guilt, panic and control. I walked into my first meeting thoroughly confused about why my A wanted to hurt me with her drinking, not understanding the difference between a boundary with a conseque...	littlehawk	3	533	May 30, 2012 by FORGE AHEAD
	My AH relapsed tonight (Preview) Hi all, Thank goodness for this board and for alanon meetings or I think I would go completely insane! My AH came back from his meeting tonight in a really low mood. He said 'well I belong to a big club full of **** ups' and preceeded to lay face down on the sofa. Anyway he said he'd stayed to talk to people and...	sarah1979	4	667	May 30, 2012 by sookie
	First Meeting Tonight (Preview) Thank you all for encouraging me to go to a meeting. I went tonight...hungry, overwhelmed, weepy and tired. Everyone was so nice. They all greeted me, and I felt almost like I wasnt even there if that makes sense. My friends and family are all having cook outs, and Im at an al anon meeting. Ha. But, one lad...	CDK	6	455	May 29, 2012 by sagj
	Where do I belong? (Preview) Where do I belong, here in Al-Anon, in AA, or both? I know this is a question that only I can answer, but I really am struggling with it. My father was an alcoholic. He passed away on Christmas day. I know I want Al-Anon just based on this fact alone. It turns out, my wife is an alcoholic. She entered det...	ImMatt	8	974	May 29, 2012 by Herb5865
	Realized I need a break (Preview) I have been gone for 3 days at a tennis tourament for my son. I noticed that AH and I communicate much better when we're just apart. So, basically that means a few texts a day and one phone call. It seems to work and we get along. What I have come to realize is that I need a break from him. A break from the i...	ilovedogs	4	793	May 29, 2012 by Herb5865
	New here and need advice (Preview) I live in Tennesse and my adult son (24 years old) who is abusing alcohol lives in Florida. I have not seen him in three years; however, I have regularly talked with him on the phone. On the phone he tries to present himself in a good light. I have received word that he is "drinking himself to dea...	ksw1963	2	450	May 29, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Expectations (Preview) I had a good laugh at the expense of myself today .. I enjoy William Shakespeare quotes and for a while was posting pretty consistently on fb with them. Well hmm .. apparently the whole expectation thing goes back a little further than I realized .. LOL! I can't believe this isn't in one of the daily rea...	Pushka	3	451	May 29, 2012 by amills4294
	Anger (Preview) Hi Al-Anon community, I have been going to Al-Anon since two months and I can already notice changes in me and changes in the relationship with my AH. I noticed that many people do not really talk about the roots of their problems, rather about the present and how to think and live in a better way. I cannot...	Smukke	4	592	May 29, 2012 by Pushka
	Decisions (Preview) Today has been a whirlwind day for me and my A. It started a while ago when she moved out of the house we shared and moved in to her moms house. When she was drinking her mom was and still is her biggest enabler. Then we moved on to just casual "dating". All of these were her ideas. This whole time it...	georgem	1	434	May 29, 2012 by Jerry F
	In love with an alcoholic (Preview) Hello all... I'm really new to Al-Anon so my apologies if I just spew a bunch of word vomit. I started going to meeting last week, when the man I love told me he needed time & space and basically pushed me out of his life. We haven't been together long, but we fell hard & fast. We are both in our 40's an...	Sassy1	7	983	May 29, 2012 by Jerry F
	Just found a meeting location (Preview) This is my first experience with Al-Anon. I found that the local group meets on Tuesdays at 8:00. So that is tomorrow. I have been sitting here for 6 hours trying to find some answers. My husband of 9 years recently quit drinking. This was after another violent episode where I had to call the police...	sagj	1	543	May 29, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Hi everyone, heres my update! (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been checking the board very infrequently as I've had major stuff going on. I think I told u all in feb my AH had a OD on Chrystal meth. Said he'd only done it a few times didn't know it was so powerful, it almost killed him, not gonna do that again.. Bla bla.. Well I went against my better jud...	GreenerGrass	5	552	May 29, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Why am I like this? (Preview) In working on my personal inventory I'm coming to the conclusion I've always been screwed up when it comes to accepting love, compliments or any kind of gift from others. I think I have always believed I don't deserve it, that the only way to be "worth" anything was for me over sacrifice myse...	TryingToChange	4	477	May 29, 2012 by maryjane
	Trying so hard... (Preview) IThanks for your kindness in my original post. I think I am going to try my first meeting this week. I really dont feel well. Every second is a struggle. I read of people feeling relieved and free, and I dont feel that at all. My body is a mess. I dont sleep well. I either cant sleep, or I wake up drenched in sw...	CDK	8	615	May 29, 2012 by Pushka
	Question? (Preview) Hi. I am an addict. My fiancée of 3 years is also. We both have been sober for more than 3 years. Last week, I got mad and beat up my fiancée. Why? He's not working his program. Ridiculous, right? I thought so too. I went to an aa meeting and shared this. And a woman told me to hit up an alanon meeting. So I'm tes...	Ruhig	5	498	May 28, 2012 by Ruhig
	About to hit his bottom... relapse alcohol NA bottom (Preview) I'm currently in a long term relationship with a member of the NA program. He relapsed about two months ago and has been using steadily but safely. His weakness is alcohol and due to some recent events, he's started to drink more heavily. He told me that he's tired of it and wants to get clean and go bac...	lostinmyworld53	12	10825	May 28, 2012 by canadianguy
	Bad experience at Alanon tonight (Preview) Tonight was my second night at Alanon, and I was already cryiing when I got there and trying very hard to keep my composure. A few people had spoken and all eyes were on me and I went ahead and started to speak. Maybe I spoke too much trying to fill in the blanks. But what I had come for was trying to deal with...	Rosebud2860	20	5849	May 28, 2012 by Smukke
	Curious about others' experience with post-drama shellshock? (Preview) Hi everybody, I'm curious about your experience with how you felt/what you did after the extreme drama of an A/exA/exRA etc..was put to rest [ hopefully!!! ] My version, I alternate between go-get-um and brain mush, with probably too much self criticism thrown in. fyi right now my dog and I are sa...	rara avis	9	792	May 28, 2012 by rara avis
	dating recovering alcoholics (Preview) For those of you who were married to or dated alcoholics, and are/were single and dating, how do you feel about dating recovering alcoholics? I went out on a date with a guy who seems great. But he's in recovery. That scares the you know what out of me. I liked talking to him, because we could discuss the pr...	drummerchick423	26	12435	May 28, 2012 by lou
	A 12th step...again (Preview) I am taking a break from work because if I didn't I'd start to get frustrated and then react with a lack of patience and anger. One of my soldering joints in a bathroom remodel job just won't seal so when I turn on the water....of course...IT LEAKS!!. So time out...get a Diet Pepsi and come to the board t...	Jerry F	5	432	May 28, 2012 by likemyheart
	SUNDAY, MAY 27, 7 PM MEETING TOPIC: PRAYER AND MEDITATION meeting prayer meditation (Preview) If prayer is speaking to God, then meditation is listening to God. How do you speak to your Higher Power? How do you listen for and to your Higher Power? Please come and share your own experience, strength and hope on Prayer and Meditation. Please come and support the group and learn from the experie...	Fina	0	8312	May 27, 2012 by Fina
	Need ESH with children and AH (Preview) I attended my second F2F meeting today. Yea for baby steps! One of the questions I am still working with is, how do I protect my children from their father? In the past I have spoken up or stepped in when I feel he has crossed a line or I didn't agree with the way he was handling the situation. This approach al...	Daisy Girl	7	614	May 27, 2012 by Fina
	Survival Mode or a Feeling of Freedom? (Preview) So I am not sure if I am in some sort of survival mode. I asked my AH to move out, and its been almost 2 weeks. After crazy talk for days, he has finally given up and realized that I am no longer going to fight with him so he has stopped texting. Thank you HP, I thought I was going to loose it there the first few d...	dragonflys	6	814	May 27, 2012 by FinallyFree
	Newcomer here... (Preview) Where too start.... I have been in a relationship with my GF for about 4 years and about 18 months ago she joined AA and has grown so much and became a different person. I worry almost once a week about her drinking again. I know that i have no control over that and it had driven me crazy. First it started wit...	georgem	5	583	May 27, 2012 by georgem
	Havent been around much (Preview) I have been pretty busy with stuff and havent been around much. I have been reading though. I have spent most of my time on the ACA board when i have been here Reading here sometimes gives me a sense of peace. I love the ACA board and i really wish more people would join us to share this peace from the alanon b...	Oksie	6	603	May 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	The Small Stuff (Preview) Breaking Free mentioned in her post today that she realizes that life will bring daily struggles. This reminded me of how much better I am handling the struggles that are inevitable. (I like to refer to them as challenges; it sounds more feasible to me.) I have taken on a major project in our home. I n...	GailMichelle	1	494	May 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	allowing others to walk over me (Preview) ive just read a post on this and its another one of my issues today cause ive allowed others to run all over me,wow ,ive never thought about it and that pateince i also thought was part of allowing others to run all over me,ugh.so how is the 2 separate is what im asking today ,lol this is been a part of life all...	silent	7	658	May 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	I should have known better, but? (Preview) Have you ever wanted something so bad that you let your mind convince you that God had put before you a path and you just had to trust? Have you ever thought God had sent a person to you who could love you because they saw life through the same lens you did? Have you ever met someone who you thought could help y...	seekingserenity	8	635	May 26, 2012 by seekingserenity
	Why am I so bent on saving my marriage? (Preview) I have a long story to tell but I'll try to give the short version. I confronted my AH about the gun comments and about him driving on a suspended license. He agreed to live by my rules, which I clarified were actually boundaries but he didn't like it. I told him I'm not trying to control him but I don't tr...	ilovedogs	21	1009	May 26, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	HI. I am new. (Preview) Hello. I'm in the thick of it. Just left my alcoholic boyfriend of 4.5 years...well slipped out the back door really. Have sort of hung in there the last three weeks, hoping he'd get the point. Last night I found out, for some strange reason my best friend decided to invite him to be part of an art show. He...	CDK	10	615	May 26, 2012 by CDK
	Some good news some ehhh?!? (Preview) I confronted my wife about her actions which led me to believe she was cheating. She admitted she had no idea who she was calling/texting & people are messing with her when she calls/texts them because they know what state she is in. I could tell she was feeling very guilty & embarrassed. She sa...	Country Boy	4	506	May 26, 2012 by Bettina
	update,update! (Preview) yestrday was my birthday so i get an unknown phone call from my ex a/d he tells me happy birthday then i ask him where are you at.he says at his bosses rent house all alone that his mom and him didnt see eye to eye so he walked over to the rental house oh my my heart goes to raceing he asks if i would bring my yorkie...	silent	8	760	May 26, 2012 by rara avis
	trying to keep my perspective (Preview) I am thankful for positive growth and change. I'm thankful for my wonderful F2F meeting. I realize that it's important to focus on the positive. I am and have hit my head against the same wall over and over again. It comes to the subject of me traveling to see friends. I have local friends, I catch flack fo...	Jackie11	13	705	May 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	another update!!!!! (Preview) so far so good as ive managed to not try and run him down,but i havent been all that good just lucky me that he didnt answer me as i belive he is out of mins on his cell i texted him and said ..hi...but no answer back good for me,and ive been feeling like a stalker as ive or was checking his f/b page out but i defrei...	silent	3	457	May 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	Monday update (Preview) My AH was gone for a week, and returned yesterday evening (he is still staying with his parents). I let his mother take our 2 year old daughter to the airport to pick him up, so that he could have time with her. I have no idea where he has been, and have not asked. All I know is that I felt some relief this wee...	KLotus	4	499	May 26, 2012 by Oksie
	Newbie Dry not sober AH (Preview) Hi everyone, i am here hoping to get some wisdom and insight into this disease. I have posted my info on my Bio if anyone is interested. I am recently seperated (His decision) my AH " Doesn't want to be accountable to anyone. " He is living in a small apt a few miles away. He's been inconsistent w...	beckylee	3	622	May 26, 2012 by Tigger
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.