Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

debhud · debhud

hi all...boy have i ever back-slidden in my program. today i went off on my AS! i try so hard to stay on my side of the street but just lost it with him. he is very sick in his illness and refuses help. doesn't pay child support. relies on my parents to take care of him financially. usually i do okay with...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Call me crazy, but full moon for me means Batten Down the Hatches; it's gonna get rough. The A is angry, for no discernable reason and drinking. He mentioned going to visit his mum tomorrow (that's a 4 hour drive) and I said- nicely- you can't drive my car there if you stay up all night drinking. And I asked...

Yogi71 · Yogi71

I wrote this to my kids tonight, not with the intention to give it, only to see how it would feel writing it.... Earlier this year your dad made choices that were extremely painful for me and for us. The many months prior to that he was doing things and acting in a way that caused our home life to feel bad. B...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm outrage with the A lack of responsibility . Please tell me when does the A stop thinking about himself and the drink?? When my A was drinking I was left home to care for the children I was both parents he was the absentee . I had a problem this morning and again I take my part of the blame I own my own mouth so...

bijela · bijela

My exboyfriend's drunken crazy cow sister has been harassing me on Facebook, so I blocked her. I sure hope that she won't start texting and calling me because I really don't want to have to change my phone number and screw up my business dealings by having to get all new business cards and contact everyo...

debhud · debhud

well i spouted off to my son...and i was so upset. but yes, today i feel good. (almost feel guilty for admitting that) i don't have anxiety. i don't have a lump in my throat. and i am not crying. after reading all of your responses i came to realize....it's ok. for many years i have "kept my cool&...

Lyne · Lyne

On Thurs. night my A arrived home so drunk, slurring her words, and barely able to keep her balance to walk. I asked her how she drove home and she didn't know. The realizations hit me: she is completely self-destructive still, she is unable to care how far back she sets our marriage, and the worst pos...

LastChanceOnceAgain · LastChanceOnceAgain

Hi everyone. I'm new here and trying to deal with my AH. He just started going to meetings this week. I haven't been to Al Anon yet. We have two kids and it's hard for me to find time.

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Hello I been really working hard on my changing my little ways . One is QTIP and not assuming and not jumping ahead of myself . I don't think I need to know what's gonna happen tomorrow . Why ? That would only give me enough time to find fault with something that might not happen and why lose sleep over it. I be...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm just getting many parts of this program. I never really got the whole 'opposites' concept before. You know looking at your defects and doing the opposite. Resentful = every time I feel it work on forgiveness. Bitter and intolerant = work on being tolerant and again forgiveness. At this moment my...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I spoke with my sponsor yesterday regarding a recent situation with my dad. In summary, my dad is in rehab and wants to come home for the weekend. Noone will pick him up. In frustration, I shouted 'who cares if you come home?' and he h...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

I moved 300 miles away from my alcoholic mum & she's just got back from a week in benidorm with her friend and she's in bed with the flu. For some reason i started panicking thinking she's going to die so i rang the doctors crying and the doctor said she would ring my mum and point her in the direction of a...

joker · joker

Now that I am away from the active alcoholic in my life, he is in jail for abusing me, and I have freedom to be me and no longer have to walk on egg shells, I noticed that I like to tell people what to do. Example of what I mean is I will inquire into thier lives," how are things going" and they may tel...

mongowal · mongowal

I've posted before that my AH left 3 weeks ago because he said he realized he was severely depressed and couldn't stand to hurt me anymore. He has little contact with me except with a few text messages that have to with cars and when my daughter needs to be picked up. At first he avoided coming to the ho...

abbyalana · abbyalana

Do some alcoholics not hit a rock bottom? My therapist said that to me the other day. My therapist has been doing this kind of therapy (addicts, couples, family members of...) for years and I have to assume that on some level he's right - some addicts don't hit rock bottom. He'd have thought that my ex w...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Went to doctor yesterday--nodule in my left breast he said. Mammogram next week I think. Pain is still lurking in my back & leg--going to chiropractor today. I am anxious but in OK spirits. I am not going to lose my serenity over this even if sometimes I want to throw things & scream out loud! Sin...

Bettina · Bettina

"Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him." Unk -- Edited by Bettina on Thursday 17th of October 2013 07:48:43 PM

JenRae23 · JenRae23

Hello Everyone, I am new here, although I have checked out the site and topics many of times before. My boyrfriend is 62 days sober and clean today! I have to say I lost hope for a really long time...we have been together since August 15 2012. We were both students at Southern Illinois University and we me...

Rose50 · Rose50

My son called me today. He said he hadn't been in touch because "something bad happened" but he wasn't ready to tell me exactly what. Told me he would call soon with the details. The phone number he called from wasn't his and I could look it up on the internet but I don't want to do that. Surprisi...

hotrod · hotrod

STEP 3 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55294399/step-3-alanon/

Tracey C · Tracey C

A thought came to me before, if I knew I only had this day to live, who would I choose to spend it with? What behaviours would I accept to stay in the presence of? Then also, if my children only had this 24hrs, who would I like them to be with or who would they like to be with? Who would treat them the best? Just...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well me and my A did very little talking today I went to a meeting last night and it was a meeting that we all were in the same place no one healthier no one sicker we were all in the same mood ( drained) . We all added to the table and all left home with something . Today my A was surpose to work and he took off to go t...

oldergal · oldergal

I try not to have expectations, but when it comes to hiring someone on your property to do projects (building gate, cutting wood etc.) I expect them to come on time and complete the job in a timely fashion. But no it doesnt seem to happen lately. I am not sure if I am from the old school of work ethics or that t...

rehprof · rehprof

the exA called my 11yo son wednesday...and made plans for the weekend...unbeknownst to me, the ex's sister bought the kids tix to a haunted hayride. The 17 yo changed his mind, and decided he did not want to go, and texted the ex thurs eve. I get a call this morning...the exA is all ticked off that the 17yo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning I got in my car this morning going to work and as I'm going down the street I say the Serenity Prayer as I do everyday. After that I started thinking about my son....like where is he going to from rehab. Is he going to be able to find a job, is he going to continue his program and stay sober...et...

oldergal · oldergal

islandtime · islandtime

Unfortunately about 80% of the folks at the f2f meetings that I go to, are there because they have kids on drugs. They are going through all kinds of hell and have awful stories to tell every week. They get on their soap boxes and that's it, no detail left out. They are not working the program, and just...

stilllearning · stilllearning

Hello all, I'm feeling so lost..so sad. I have lost who I am..I have been in the program for years.. but in the last 2years I really don't like who I have turned into. So much back sliding..lost of contact and belief in a higher power.. Hence to say two years ago I got into another relationship and worked re...

stilllearning · stilllearning

Hello I am a male living in a small town with no men in our face to face meetings. I have been in the program for many years but have really lost my way and went backwards. I'm not in a crisis(well feeling pretty down) but I have become so negative and lost my hope... I want and to really put forth the effort t...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

From the AA Big Book, "The Family Afterward" (a great read with ANSWERS, which we are always seeking!): "Our loyalty and the desire that our husbands hold up their heads and be like other men have begotten all sorts of predicaments. We have been unselfish and self-sacrificing. We h...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well I must say today is a day I did some back track and read all my posts . I can't believe how much I wasted all my time talking about the DRINK . Why did I ? Why did I do what it wanted me to do. I don't drink I don't have a problem . The only problem I know I have is my sick co dependent ways and I take the blame for th...

joker · joker

Since I called the police on the ex alcoholic bf, that was extremely abusive toward me, I feel I have changed. I remember whenI first met him, 2 years ago, I was needy and felt I needed a man. Today, after a lot of therapy work, and reading here, I feel so different. I feel Free at last. I am happy in my own...

thistooshallpass · thistooshallpass

So a little over a month ago I found out that my husband (who was almost 20 months sober) was cheating on me with a girl from his AA group. I kicked him out. He immediately relapsed and has been following that path of destruction for the last 5 weeks. He is living with the girl and her mother who both are al...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

The 7 day stretch of good moods and normal ways didnt last and I didnt think it would but I am happy I got that at least. Those little stretches allows us to stay connected and stay in love. If he was Mr. Dry butt head every single day I couldnt deal with that and or would fall out of love, as I have come close...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I get flustered and anxious sometimes at the high drama and chaos at work. Then I have to remember "Why am I expecting peace, calm , and order in a rehab with 28 severely sick addicts and alcoholics?" It is a giant hardware store...it will never churn out bread. It was a stressful day guys.

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, Been busy with meeting and living the al anon programme. Just wanted to shrae my news my 20 year old son and his 25 year old girlfriend ( child of an active A) of 18 months are expecting a baby. I have experienced a range of emotions from total excitement I would love to be a nannie to Fear, sadness an...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

I was approached last night and asked to "lend" A money to cover insurances. I must be getting somewhat wiser and decided to call insurance company and separate my own car policy so that I don't have to be concerned about it being cancelled due to non payment. First, the amounts differed by $...

Jen61 · Jen61

My A has slipped a few times in 4 months and last night was a big one. Of course he was not drinking. What was I talking about. He kept following me around the house yelling, screaming, calling me horrible names and putting his finger in my face. He pushed my shoulder twice. I called the police and the...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

for taking the time to share and to encourage me. You all are special people.

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Wow, I am busy today huh LOLBeing most of you are way more experienced than I am. I am still at the point where I turn down invites to dinners, party or just a small outing with our friends because he isnt attending meetings and Mr Dry is in and out, I dont want him around the drinking. He is Pretty good with t...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Everyone, I am facing a decision. My dad is in his second stint in rehab and they gave him a weekend pass to go home this weekend. He has asked that I pick him up. It's a 45 minute drive without traffic. He simply left a voice mail so he'll call back. I don't want to do it, and then sit in a car with him for anot...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Yesterday I was feeling so good, maybe a little too smug about my progress too. Today HP told me I need some humility. In the last 24 hours, Ah and I both have both been dealt major car repairs (expensive), major home repairs, (expensive), and major medical bills (very expensive). Yesterday our financ...

islandtime · islandtime

Well for the 900th time I found myself looking at greeting cards, trying to find one that fit the bill. Hallmark needs to come out with a line of cards for the alcoholic. You can find the ones that go on about how wonderful, loving, sweet, caring,kind, thoughtful, the person is. And how having them in y...

islandtime · islandtime

I have got to find a way to stop snapping into old habits. All I have to go is hear the AH icing up his beer cooler ( at exactly 4:00 every day, you could set a clock by it LOL! ) It has to be the perfect temp. and at his finger tips. The care with which he layers the ice and beer, is actually amusing. Anyway, I let i...

ntxalanon · ntxalanon

I know Alanon is not about telling people what to do. We are all diff. and our experiences are all unique, etc. My wife has battled alcohol addiction for many years. She has been to out patient, in-patient, IOP and will stay sober for a while but in time always returns to old habits and quits working whate...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

When we were in Therapy I stated this, sometimes it is better to talk there LOL Our Therapist pulled me aside after and said "Well done" good wording. I mean every word and he knows it. And I don't have a desire to stay if he chooses not to go back to meetings and work his part like he used to. I lef...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I read a great article today posted on another forum about ptsd and codependant behaviour etc. Is it acceptable to share stuff like that here or are we only supposed to talk about approved literature? Just want to clarify the rules

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am expecting a miraculous recovery from all this pain I am suffering right now. One day at a time I do feel better. I have to see a doctor tomorrow to get some relief. Maybe just talking to him might make a difference. He can only do so much. I have to talk to him about three things. I hope he has the time. I wil...

el-cee · el-cee

Well, I thought I would share my proud news with y'all. I have been a non smoker for 1 year this week. Thanks to alanon, I came to like then love then care enough about myself to stop.x

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, hello everyone. I've received a number of messages asking if I am OK (I am), or if I am angry, offended or upset by responses to a post I wrote a few days ago. (I'm not). Basically after a couple of days of no food or sleep and miserable feelings, I wrote a post and immediately after, re-read it, decide...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Is the books name "How Al-Anon Works"? And what is the web address to review and buy Al-Anon reading and material? I don't know why I can't find anything on the site........ LOL

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I just came to work this morning and having a hard time, trying not to cry. I am exhausted. My AS is getting sicker physically, I can see a marked difference in his appearance and right now I am afraid for what will happen to him. I try to stay in the moment but right now I have a real fear in me. My other s...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

One of my friends had been battling cancer for 7 years. She and her husband were faithful Christians, always willing to help others and pray and offer support. She was always a shoulder to me to lean on. We were the same age and our boys (only children) were the same age, as well. While reflecting on h...

bijela · bijela

I have been seeing my therapist on a more regular basis since I've been struggling with the crap with my boyfriend that moved me back to Ohio. It's starting to threaten my own sobriety/recovery. I was this close to calling my neurologist and say "Sure! Go ahead and prescribe me vicodin for the pai...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

My AH announced a week ago that he didn't want to go to his AA meeting because meetings make him feel bad. In the past I would have scolded and threatened, saying he had to go if he wanted to stay married. This time, I smiled and nodded, and said, well, you know what's best for you. And then I went to MY alanon m...

Bobbi · Bobbi

I have typed this first sentence 4 times now..nothing seems to make sense when I put what I am thinking into words. My thoughts are a mess, my concentration is shot. My patience is nearly gone. I came here mostly for a safe place to let it out and hope to rescue my sanity. I'm not sure where to begin. My husba...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Hello all I need to vent and I have issues LOL. The ones who have seen my posts know I am living with a dry drunk. Believe it or not this part is not about him His Bday was Friday and when I got home he was in such a good mood (finally-it has been weeks). He was playful , hugging me, kissing me just acting like t...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Going on day 5 of things have been great, Mr Dry drunk 'xxxx' is sleeping I am not sure what the heck is going on the last 5-days, and I have seen him go a couple months like this so it shouldn't surprise me. Must be things are going well for him at work (he has a very stressful job). We did just get a better nic...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Has several getting them sober books.............. they all look different/ Which one do --- should I get?

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Just realized I have 30 days sober today. Last drink was 9/13/2013 very early am. I don't count days or anything, just looked at the calendar and, epiphany LOL I had to look the word up........here's what I took from it lol Epiphanies are relatively rare occurrences and generally follow a proces...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	please. i can't stop crying.... need esh... (Preview) hi all...boy have i ever back-slidden in my program. today i went off on my AS! i try so hard to stay on my side of the street but just lost it with him. he is very sick in his illness and refuses help. doesn't pay child support. relies on my parents to take care of him financially. usually i do okay with...	debhud	10	531	Oct 21, 2013 by neshema2
	Full Moon Fun and Games (Preview) Call me crazy, but full moon for me means Batten Down the Hatches; it's gonna get rough. The A is angry, for no discernable reason and drinking. He mentioned going to visit his mum tomorrow (that's a 4 hour drive) and I said- nicely- you can't drive my car there if you stay up all night drinking. And I asked...	Melly1248	26	693	Oct 21, 2013 by hotrod
	Letter to my kids (Preview) I wrote this to my kids tonight, not with the intention to give it, only to see how it would feel writing it.... Earlier this year your dad made choices that were extremely painful for me and for us. The many months prior to that he was doing things and acting in a way that caused our home life to feel bad. B...	Yogi71	15	525	Oct 21, 2013 by grateful2be
	Comments please !!! Why does (Preview) I'm outrage with the A lack of responsibility . Please tell me when does the A stop thinking about himself and the drink?? When my A was drinking I was left home to care for the children I was both parents he was the absentee . I had a problem this morning and again I take my part of the blame I own my own mouth so...	Ms co-dependent	5	398	Oct 21, 2013 by Aloha
	I knew that this was going to end badly... (Preview) My exboyfriend's drunken crazy cow sister has been harassing me on Facebook, so I blocked her. I sure hope that she won't start texting and calling me because I really don't want to have to change my phone number and screw up my business dealings by having to get all new business cards and contact everyo...	bijela	7	367	Oct 21, 2013 by neshema2
	Regarding "i can't stop crying...." THANK YOU EVERYONE! (Preview) well i spouted off to my son...and i was so upset. but yes, today i feel good. (almost feel guilty for admitting that) i don't have anxiety. i don't have a lump in my throat. and i am not crying. after reading all of your responses i came to realize....it's ok. for many years i have "kept my cool&...	debhud	2	222	Oct 21, 2013 by Jerry F
	amazing experience (Preview) On Thurs. night my A arrived home so drunk, slurring her words, and barely able to keep her balance to walk. I asked her how she drove home and she didn't know. The realizations hit me: she is completely self-destructive still, she is unable to care how far back she sets our marriage, and the worst pos...	Lyne	4	283	Oct 21, 2013 by Jerry F
	Introduce myself (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here and trying to deal with my AH. He just started going to meetings this week. I haven't been to Al Anon yet. We have two kids and it's hard for me to find time.	LastChanceOnceAgain	7	561	Oct 21, 2013 by neshema2
	How to apply tools to children (Preview) Hello I been really working hard on my changing my little ways . One is QTIP and not assuming and not jumping ahead of myself . I don't think I need to know what's gonna happen tomorrow . Why ? That would only give me enough time to find fault with something that might not happen and why lose sleep over it. I be...	Ms co-dependent	3	267	Oct 20, 2013 by abbyal
	Opposites (Preview) I'm just getting many parts of this program. I never really got the whole 'opposites' concept before. You know looking at your defects and doing the opposite. Resentful = every time I feel it work on forgiveness. Bitter and intolerant = work on being tolerant and again forgiveness. At this moment my...	el-cee	7	217	Oct 20, 2013 by grateful2be
	Is the serenity prayer over-rated? (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I spoke with my sponsor yesterday regarding a recent situation with my dad. In summary, my dad is in rehab and wants to come home for the weekend. Noone will pick him up. In frustration, I shouted 'who cares if you come home?' and he h...	slogan_jim	17	818	Oct 20, 2013 by maryjane
	Guilty feelings overwhelming (Preview) I moved 300 miles away from my alcoholic mum & she's just got back from a week in benidorm with her friend and she's in bed with the flu. For some reason i started panicking thinking she's going to die so i rang the doctors crying and the doctor said she would ring my mum and point her in the direction of a...	qwerty49	13	439	Oct 20, 2013 by maryjane
	Telling people what to do (Preview) Now that I am away from the active alcoholic in my life, he is in jail for abusing me, and I have freedom to be me and no longer have to walk on egg shells, I noticed that I like to tell people what to do. Example of what I mean is I will inquire into thier lives," how are things going" and they may tel...	joker	13	413	Oct 20, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Hurt (Preview) I've posted before that my AH left 3 weeks ago because he said he realized he was severely depressed and couldn't stand to hurt me anymore. He has little contact with me except with a few text messages that have to with cars and when my daughter needs to be picked up. At first he avoided coming to the ho...	mongowal	13	370	Oct 20, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Rock bottom (Preview) Do some alcoholics not hit a rock bottom? My therapist said that to me the other day. My therapist has been doing this kind of therapy (addicts, couples, family members of...) for years and I have to assume that on some level he's right - some addicts don't hit rock bottom. He'd have thought that my ex w...	abbyalana	10	420	Oct 20, 2013 by Tattyhead
	pain still but some relief to come...(real quick) (Preview) Went to doctor yesterday--nodule in my left breast he said. Mammogram next week I think. Pain is still lurking in my back & leg--going to chiropractor today. I am anxious but in OK spirits. I am not going to lose my serenity over this even if sometimes I want to throw things & scream out loud! Sin...	Hoot Nanny	4	222	Oct 19, 2013 by Tattyhead
	Profound advice (Preview) "Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him." Unk -- Edited by Bettina on Thursday 17th of October 2013 07:48:43 PM	Bettina	4	298	Oct 19, 2013 by Melly1248
	New here-Would love Participation! (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am new here, although I have checked out the site and topics many of times before. My boyrfriend is 62 days sober and clean today! I have to say I lost hope for a really long time...we have been together since August 15 2012. We were both students at Southern Illinois University and we me...	JenRae23	11	282	Oct 19, 2013 by Bettina
	Waiting to hear what happened (Preview) My son called me today. He said he hadn't been in touch because "something bad happened" but he wasn't ready to tell me exactly what. Told me he would call soon with the details. The phone number he called from wasn't his and I could look it up on the internet but I don't want to do that. Surprisi...	Rose50	14	469	Oct 19, 2013 by el-cee
	STEP3 POSTED TO STEP BOARD (Preview) STEP 3 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55294399/step-3-alanon/	hotrod	0	102	Oct 18, 2013 by hotrod
	What if..... (Preview) A thought came to me before, if I knew I only had this day to live, who would I choose to spend it with? What behaviours would I accept to stay in the presence of? Then also, if my children only had this 24hrs, who would I like them to be with or who would they like to be with? Who would treat them the best? Just...	Tracey C	10	465	Oct 19, 2013 by Rose50
	Topic 3 tonight (Preview) Well me and my A did very little talking today I went to a meeting last night and it was a meeting that we all were in the same place no one healthier no one sicker we were all in the same mood ( drained) . We all added to the table and all left home with something . Today my A was surpose to work and he took off to go t...	Ms co-dependent	10	494	Oct 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	WORK ETHICS, EXPECTATIONS (Preview) I try not to have expectations, but when it comes to hiring someone on your property to do projects (building gate, cutting wood etc.) I expect them to come on time and complete the job in a timely fashion. But no it doesnt seem to happen lately. I am not sure if I am from the old school of work ethics or that t...	oldergal	10	582	Oct 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	yep ...consequences (Preview) the exA called my 11yo son wednesday...and made plans for the weekend...unbeknownst to me, the ex's sister bought the kids tix to a haunted hayride. The 17 yo changed his mind, and decided he did not want to go, and texted the ex thurs eve. I get a call this morning...the exA is all ticked off that the 17yo...	rehprof	7	244	Oct 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	Today's Tidbit (Preview) Good Morning I got in my car this morning going to work and as I'm going down the street I say the Serenity Prayer as I do everyday. After that I started thinking about my son....like where is he going to from rehab. Is he going to be able to find a job, is he going to continue his program and stay sober...et...	Cathyinaz	5	264	Oct 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	A COUPLE OF BITS OF WISDOM...! (Preview)	oldergal	1	162	Oct 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	not much help at F2F meetings (Preview) Unfortunately about 80% of the folks at the f2f meetings that I go to, are there because they have kids on drugs. They are going through all kinds of hell and have awful stories to tell every week. They get on their soap boxes and that's it, no detail left out. They are not working the program, and just...	islandtime	15	340	Oct 18, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Have lost my way... needing wisdom..ideas (Preview) Hello all, I'm feeling so lost..so sad. I have lost who I am..I have been in the program for years.. but in the last 2years I really don't like who I have turned into. So much back sliding..lost of contact and belief in a higher power.. Hence to say two years ago I got into another relationship and worked re...	stilllearning	10	367	Oct 18, 2013 by stilllearning
	Live in small town...Seeking a male sponsor or at least a temporary sponsor please (Preview) Hello I am a male living in a small town with no men in our face to face meetings. I have been in the program for many years but have really lost my way and went backwards. I'm not in a crisis(well feeling pretty down) but I have become so negative and lost my hope... I want and to really put forth the effort t...	stilllearning	4	301	Oct 18, 2013 by stilllearning
	Do You Identify With Any of This? (Preview) From the AA Big Book, "The Family Afterward" (a great read with ANSWERS, which we are always seeking!): "Our loyalty and the desire that our husbands hold up their heads and be like other men have begotten all sorts of predicaments. We have been unselfish and self-sacrificing. We h...	WorkingThroughIt	17	519	Oct 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	My turn to be selfish (Preview) Well I must say today is a day I did some back track and read all my posts . I can't believe how much I wasted all my time talking about the DRINK . Why did I ? Why did I do what it wanted me to do. I don't drink I don't have a problem . The only problem I know I have is my sick co dependent ways and I take the blame for th...	Ms co-dependent	9	417	Oct 18, 2013 by Ms co-dependent
	New feelings (Preview) Since I called the police on the ex alcoholic bf, that was extremely abusive toward me, I feel I have changed. I remember whenI first met him, 2 years ago, I was needy and felt I needed a man. Today, after a lot of therapy work, and reading here, I feel so different. I feel Free at last. I am happy in my own...	joker	2	197	Oct 18, 2013 by hotrod
	Need Your Help! (Preview) So a little over a month ago I found out that my husband (who was almost 20 months sober) was cheating on me with a girl from his AA group. I kicked him out. He immediately relapsed and has been following that path of destruction for the last 5 weeks. He is living with the girl and her mother who both are al...	thistooshallpass	15	511	Oct 17, 2013 by Bettina
	Stay focused (Preview) The 7 day stretch of good moods and normal ways didnt last and I didnt think it would but I am happy I got that at least. Those little stretches allows us to stay connected and stay in love. If he was Mr. Dry butt head every single day I couldnt deal with that and or would fall out of love, as I have come close...	Iwantthingsback	10	470	Oct 17, 2013 by joker
	hardware and bread at work (Preview) I get flustered and anxious sometimes at the high drama and chaos at work. Then I have to remember "Why am I expecting peace, calm , and order in a rehab with 28 severely sick addicts and alcoholics?" It is a giant hardware store...it will never churn out bread. It was a stressful day guys.	pinkchip	20	583	Oct 17, 2013 by Tasha
	New test (Preview) Hi all, Been busy with meeting and living the al anon programme. Just wanted to shrae my news my 20 year old son and his 25 year old girlfriend ( child of an active A) of 18 months are expecting a baby. I have experienced a range of emotions from total excitement I would love to be a nannie to Fear, sadness an...	Tracy	4	153	Oct 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Cover thine own hiney (Preview) I was approached last night and asked to "lend" A money to cover insurances. I must be getting somewhat wiser and decided to call insurance company and separate my own car policy so that I don't have to be concerned about it being cancelled due to non payment. First, the amounts differed by $...	Mari1978	19	514	Oct 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Alcoholic A (Preview) My A has slipped a few times in 4 months and last night was a big one. Of course he was not drinking. What was I talking about. He kept following me around the house yelling, screaming, calling me horrible names and putting his finger in my face. He pushed my shoulder twice. I called the police and the...	Jen61	10	561	Oct 17, 2013 by abbyalana
	Thank you all... (Preview) for taking the time to share and to encourage me. You all are special people.	DreamsOver	3	188	Oct 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	Let me ask you…… (Preview) Wow, I am busy today huh LOLBeing most of you are way more experienced than I am. I am still at the point where I turn down invites to dinners, party or just a small outing with our friends because he isnt attending meetings and Mr Dry is in and out, I dont want him around the drinking. He is Pretty good with t...	Iwantthingsback	18	533	Oct 17, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Dad got a weekend pass (Preview) Hey Everyone, I am facing a decision. My dad is in his second stint in rehab and they gave him a weekend pass to go home this weekend. He has asked that I pick him up. It's a 45 minute drive without traffic. He simply left a voice mail so he'll call back. I don't want to do it, and then sit in a car with him for anot...	slogan_jim	8	478	Oct 17, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	This too shall pass (Preview) Yesterday I was feeling so good, maybe a little too smug about my progress too. Today HP told me I need some humility. In the last 24 hours, Ah and I both have both been dealt major car repairs (expensive), major home repairs, (expensive), and major medical bills (very expensive). Yesterday our financ...	ParisMemories	6	321	Oct 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	the birthday card (Preview) Well for the 900th time I found myself looking at greeting cards, trying to find one that fit the bill. Hallmark needs to come out with a line of cards for the alcoholic. You can find the ones that go on about how wonderful, loving, sweet, caring,kind, thoughtful, the person is. And how having them in y...	islandtime	18	545	Oct 17, 2013 by bud
	a question (Preview) I have got to find a way to stop snapping into old habits. All I have to go is hear the AH icing up his beer cooler ( at exactly 4:00 every day, you could set a clock by it LOL! ) It has to be the perfect temp. and at his finger tips. The care with which he layers the ice and beer, is actually amusing. Anyway, I let i...	islandtime	5	437	Oct 17, 2013 by Debilyn
	experience with legal issues (Preview) I know Alanon is not about telling people what to do. We are all diff. and our experiences are all unique, etc. My wife has battled alcohol addiction for many years. She has been to out patient, in-patient, IOP and will stay sober for a while but in time always returns to old habits and quits working whate...	ntxalanon	15	458	Oct 17, 2013 by pinkchip
	Just to share.......... (Preview) When we were in Therapy I stated this, sometimes it is better to talk there LOL Our Therapist pulled me aside after and said "Well done" good wording. I mean every word and he knows it. And I don't have a desire to stay if he chooses not to go back to meetings and work his part like he used to. I lef...	Iwantthingsback	7	348	Oct 16, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Sharing literature (Preview) I read a great article today posted on another forum about ptsd and codependant behaviour etc. Is it acceptable to share stuff like that here or are we only supposed to talk about approved literature? Just want to clarify the rules	Melly1248	7	344	Oct 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	I am expecting a miracle (Preview) I am expecting a miraculous recovery from all this pain I am suffering right now. One day at a time I do feel better. I have to see a doctor tomorrow to get some relief. Maybe just talking to him might make a difference. He can only do so much. I have to talk to him about three things. I hope he has the time. I wil...	Hoot Nanny	7	386	Oct 16, 2013 by stilllearning
	Another anniversary thanks Alanon! (Preview) Well, I thought I would share my proud news with y'all. I have been a non smoker for 1 year this week. Thanks to alanon, I came to like then love then care enough about myself to stop.x	el-cee	12	353	Oct 16, 2013 by neshema2
	Hi all. (Preview) Well, hello everyone. I've received a number of messages asking if I am OK (I am), or if I am angry, offended or upset by responses to a post I wrote a few days ago. (I'm not). Basically after a couple of days of no food or sleep and miserable feelings, I wrote a post and immediately after, re-read it, decide...	Melly1248	22	642	Oct 16, 2013 by hotrod
	How Al-Anon Works???????? (Preview) Is the books name "How Al-Anon Works"? And what is the web address to review and buy Al-Anon reading and material? I don't know why I can't find anything on the site........ LOL	Iwantthingsback	2	307	Oct 16, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Exhausted.... (Preview) I just came to work this morning and having a hard time, trying not to cry. I am exhausted. My AS is getting sicker physically, I can see a marked difference in his appearance and right now I am afraid for what will happen to him. I try to stay in the moment but right now I have a real fear in me. My other s...	DreamsOver	8	518	Oct 16, 2013 by islandtime
	A dear friend of mine passed away (Preview) One of my friends had been battling cancer for 7 years. She and her husband were faithful Christians, always willing to help others and pray and offer support. She was always a shoulder to me to lean on. We were the same age and our boys (only children) were the same age, as well. While reflecting on h...	ilovedogs	21	568	Oct 16, 2013 by Mattie
	Dealing with guilt and that annoying "Wait and see" thing. Ugh. (Preview) I have been seeing my therapist on a more regular basis since I've been struggling with the crap with my boyfriend that moved me back to Ohio. It's starting to threaten my own sobriety/recovery. I was this close to calling my neurologist and say "Sure! Go ahead and prescribe me vicodin for the pai...	bijela	3	494	Oct 16, 2013 by Jerry F
	Grateful (Preview) My AH announced a week ago that he didn't want to go to his AA meeting because meetings make him feel bad. In the past I would have scolded and threatened, saying he had to go if he wanted to stay married. This time, I smiled and nodded, and said, well, you know what's best for you. And then I went to MY alanon m...	ParisMemories	6	191	Oct 16, 2013 by Jerry F
	New to the boards and needing to talk, or vent, probably both. (Preview) I have typed this first sentence 4 times now..nothing seems to make sense when I put what I am thinking into words. My thoughts are a mess, my concentration is shot. My patience is nearly gone. I came here mostly for a safe place to let it out and hope to rescue my sanity. I'm not sure where to begin. My husba...	Bobbi	10	424	Oct 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	So completly mixed up................ feeling really mad at myself today! (Preview) Hello all I need to vent and I have issues LOL. The ones who have seen my posts know I am living with a dry drunk. Believe it or not this part is not about him His Bday was Friday and when I got home he was in such a good mood (finally-it has been weeks). He was playful , hugging me, kissing me just acting like t...	Iwantthingsback	10	445	Oct 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	5-day STENT (Preview) Going on day 5 of things have been great, Mr Dry drunk 'xxxx' is sleeping I am not sure what the heck is going on the last 5-days, and I have seen him go a couple months like this so it shouldn't surprise me. Must be things are going well for him at work (he has a very stressful job). We did just get a better nic...	Iwantthingsback	5	334	Oct 15, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Toby Rice Drews (Preview) Has several getting them sober books.............. they all look different/ Which one do --- should I get?	Iwantthingsback	6	338	Oct 15, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	email from my son (Preview) Just realized I have 30 days sober today. Last drink was 9/13/2013 very early am. I don't count days or anything, just looked at the calendar and, epiphany LOL I had to look the word up........here's what I took from it lol Epiphanies are relatively rare occurrences and generally follow a proces...	Cathyinaz	14	474	Oct 15, 2013 by el-cee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.