|
|
New here-Would love Participation!
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, I am new here, although I have checked out the site and topics many of times before. My boyrfriend is 62 days sober and clean today! I have to say I lost hope for a really long time...we have been together since August 15 2012. We were both students at Southern Illinois University and we me...
|
JenRae23
|
11
|
278
|
|
|
|
Waiting to hear what happened
(Preview)
My son called me today. He said he hadn't been in touch because "something bad happened" but he wasn't ready to tell me exactly what. Told me he would call soon with the details. The phone number he called from wasn't his and I could look it up on the internet but I don't want to do that. Surprisi...
|
Rose50
|
14
|
464
|
|
|
|
STEP3 POSTED TO STEP BOARD
(Preview)
STEP 3 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55294399/step-3-alanon/
|
hotrod
|
0
|
100
|
|
|
|
What if.....
(Preview)
A thought came to me before, if I knew I only had this day to live, who would I choose to spend it with? What behaviours would I accept to stay in the presence of? Then also, if my children only had this 24hrs, who would I like them to be with or who would they like to be with? Who would treat them the best?
Just...
|
Tracey C
|
10
|
462
|
|
|
|
Topic 3 tonight
(Preview)
Well me and my A did very little talking today I went to a meeting last night and it was a meeting that we all were in the same place no one healthier no one sicker we were all in the same mood ( drained) . We all added to the table and all left home with something . Today my A was surpose to work and he took off to go t...
|
Ms co-dependent
|
10
|
489
|
|
|
|
WORK ETHICS, EXPECTATIONS
(Preview)
I try not to have expectations, but when it comes to hiring someone on your property to do projects (building gate, cutting wood etc.) I expect them to come on time and complete the job in a timely fashion. But no it doesnt seem to happen lately. I am not sure if I am from the old school of work ethics or that t...
|
oldergal
|
10
|
580
|
|
|
|
yep ...consequences
(Preview)
the exA called my 11yo son wednesday...and made plans for the weekend...unbeknownst to me, the ex's sister bought the kids tix to a haunted hayride. The 17 yo changed his mind, and decided he did not want to go, and texted the ex thurs eve. I get a call this morning...the exA is all ticked off that the 17yo...
|
rehprof
|
7
|
240
|
|
|
|
Today's Tidbit
(Preview)
Good Morning I got in my car this morning going to work and as I'm going down the street I say the Serenity Prayer as I do everyday. After that I started thinking about my son....like where is he going to from rehab. Is he going to be able to find a job, is he going to continue his program and stay sober...et...
|
Cathyinaz
|
5
|
260
|
|
|
|
A COUPLE OF BITS OF WISDOM...!
(Preview)
|
oldergal
|
1
|
158
|
|
|
|
not much help at F2F meetings
(Preview)
Unfortunately about 80% of the folks at the f2f meetings that I go to, are there because they have kids on drugs. They are going through all kinds of hell and have awful stories to tell every week. They get on their soap boxes and that's it, no detail left out. They are not working the program, and just...
|
islandtime
|
15
|
335
|
|
|
|
Have lost my way... needing wisdom..ideas
(Preview)
Hello all, I'm feeling so lost..so sad. I have lost who I am..I have been in the program for years.. but in the last 2years I really don't like who I have turned into. So much back sliding..lost of contact and belief in a higher power.. Hence to say two years ago I got into another relationship and worked re...
|
stilllearning
|
10
|
363
|
|
|
|
Live in small town...Seeking a male sponsor or at least a temporary sponsor please
(Preview)
Hello I am a male living in a small town with no men in our face to face meetings. I have been in the program for many years but have really lost my way and went backwards. I'm not in a crisis(well feeling pretty down) but I have become so negative and lost my hope... I want and to really put forth the effort t...
|
stilllearning
|
4
|
297
|
|
|
|
Do You Identify With Any of This?
(Preview)
From the AA Big Book, "The Family Afterward" (a great read with ANSWERS, which we are always seeking!): "Our loyalty and the desire that our husbands hold up their heads and be like other men have begotten all sorts of predicaments. We have been unselfish and self-sacrificing. We h...
|
WorkingThroughIt
|
17
|
515
|
|
|
|
My turn to be selfish
(Preview)
Well I must say today is a day I did some back track and read all my posts . I can't believe how much I wasted all my time talking about the DRINK . Why did I ? Why did I do what it wanted me to do. I don't drink I don't have a problem . The only problem I know I have is my sick co dependent ways and I take the blame for th...
|
Ms co-dependent
|
9
|
413
|
|
|
|
New feelings
(Preview)
Since I called the police on the ex alcoholic bf, that was extremely abusive toward me, I feel I have changed. I remember whenI first met him, 2 years ago, I was needy and felt I needed a man. Today, after a lot of therapy work, and reading here, I feel so different. I feel Free at last. I am happy in my own...
|
joker
|
2
|
193
|
|
|
|
Need Your Help!
(Preview)
So a little over a month ago I found out that my husband (who was almost 20 months sober) was cheating on me with a girl from his AA group. I kicked him out. He immediately relapsed and has been following that path of destruction for the last 5 weeks. He is living with the girl and her mother who both are al...
|
thistooshallpass
|
15
|
508
|
|
|
|
Stay focused
(Preview)
The 7 day stretch of good moods and normal ways didnt last and I didnt think it would but I am happy I got that at least. Those little stretches allows us to stay connected and stay in love. If he was Mr. Dry butt head every single day I couldnt deal with that and or would fall out of love, as I have come close...
|
Iwantthingsback
|
10
|
466
|
|
|
|
hardware and bread at work
(Preview)
I get flustered and anxious sometimes at the high drama and chaos at work. Then I have to remember "Why am I expecting peace, calm , and order in a rehab with 28 severely sick addicts and alcoholics?" It is a giant hardware store...it will never churn out bread. It was a stressful day guys.
|
pinkchip
|
20
|
576
|
|
|
|
New test
(Preview)
Hi all, Been busy with meeting and living the al anon programme. Just wanted to shrae my news my 20 year old son and his 25 year old girlfriend ( child of an active A) of 18 months are expecting a baby. I have experienced a range of emotions from total excitement I would love to be a nannie to Fear, sadness an...
|
Tracy
|
4
|
149
|
|
|
|
Cover thine own hiney
(Preview)
I was approached last night and asked to "lend" A money to cover insurances. I must be getting somewhat wiser and decided to call insurance company and separate my own car policy so that I don't have to be concerned about it being cancelled due to non payment. First, the amounts differed by $...
|
Mari1978
|
19
|
509
|
|
|
|
Alcoholic A
(Preview)
My A has slipped a few times in 4 months and last night was a big one. Of course he was not drinking. What was I talking about. He kept following me around the house yelling, screaming, calling me horrible names and putting his finger in my face. He pushed my shoulder twice. I called the police and the...
|
Jen61
|
10
|
557
|
|
|
|
Thank you all...
(Preview)
for taking the time to share and to encourage me. You all are special people.
|
DreamsOver
|
3
|
184
|
|
|
|
Let me ask you……
(Preview)
Wow, I am busy today huh LOLBeing most of you are way more experienced than I am. I am still at the point where I turn down invites to dinners, party or just a small outing with our friends because he isnt attending meetings and Mr Dry is in and out, I dont want him around the drinking. He is Pretty good with t...
|
Iwantthingsback
|
18
|
529
|
|
|
|
Dad got a weekend pass
(Preview)
Hey Everyone, I am facing a decision. My dad is in his second stint in rehab and they gave him a weekend pass to go home this weekend. He has asked that I pick him up. It's a 45 minute drive without traffic. He simply left a voice mail so he'll call back. I don't want to do it, and then sit in a car with him for anot...
|
slogan_jim
|
8
|
474
|
|
|
|
This too shall pass
(Preview)
Yesterday I was feeling so good, maybe a little too smug about my progress too. Today HP told me I need some humility. In the last 24 hours, Ah and I both have both been dealt major car repairs (expensive), major home repairs, (expensive), and major medical bills (very expensive). Yesterday our financ...
|
ParisMemories
|
6
|
317
|
|
|
|
the birthday card
(Preview)
Well for the 900th time I found myself looking at greeting cards, trying to find one that fit the bill. Hallmark needs to come out with a line of cards for the alcoholic. You can find the ones that go on about how wonderful, loving, sweet, caring,kind, thoughtful, the person is. And how having them in y...
|
islandtime
|
18
|
540
|
|
|
|
a question
(Preview)
I have got to find a way to stop snapping into old habits. All I have to go is hear the AH icing up his beer cooler ( at exactly 4:00 every day, you could set a clock by it LOL! ) It has to be the perfect temp. and at his finger tips. The care with which he layers the ice and beer, is actually amusing. Anyway, I let i...
|
islandtime
|
5
|
431
|
|
|
|
experience with legal issues
(Preview)
I know Alanon is not about telling people what to do. We are all diff. and our experiences are all unique, etc. My wife has battled alcohol addiction for many years. She has been to out patient, in-patient, IOP and will stay sober for a while but in time always returns to old habits and quits working whate...
|
ntxalanon
|
15
|
453
|
|
|
|
Just to share..........
(Preview)
When we were in Therapy I stated this, sometimes it is better to talk there LOL Our Therapist pulled me aside after and said "Well done" good wording. I mean every word and he knows it. And I don't have a desire to stay if he chooses not to go back to meetings and work his part like he used to. I lef...
|
Iwantthingsback
|
7
|
348
|
|
|
|
Sharing literature
(Preview)
I read a great article today posted on another forum about ptsd and codependant behaviour etc. Is it acceptable to share stuff like that here or are we only supposed to talk about approved literature? Just want to clarify the rules
|
Melly1248
|
7
|
339
|
|
|
|
I am expecting a miracle
(Preview)
I am expecting a miraculous recovery from all this pain I am suffering right now. One day at a time I do feel better. I have to see a doctor tomorrow to get some relief. Maybe just talking to him might make a difference. He can only do so much. I have to talk to him about three things. I hope he has the time. I wil...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
7
|
382
|
|
|
|
Another anniversary thanks Alanon!
(Preview)
Well, I thought I would share my proud news with y'all. I have been a non smoker for 1 year this week. Thanks to alanon, I came to like then love then care enough about myself to stop.x
|
el-cee
|
12
|
349
|
|
|
|
Hi all.
(Preview)
Well, hello everyone. I've received a number of messages asking if I am OK (I am), or if I am angry, offended or upset by responses to a post I wrote a few days ago. (I'm not). Basically after a couple of days of no food or sleep and miserable feelings, I wrote a post and immediately after, re-read it, decide...
|
Melly1248
|
22
|
640
|
|
|
|
How Al-Anon Works????????
(Preview)
Is the books name "How Al-Anon Works"? And what is the web address to review and buy Al-Anon reading and material? I don't know why I can't find anything on the site........ LOL
|
Iwantthingsback
|
2
|
301
|
|
|
|
Exhausted....
(Preview)
I just came to work this morning and having a hard time, trying not to cry. I am exhausted. My AS is getting sicker physically, I can see a marked difference in his appearance and right now I am afraid for what will happen to him. I try to stay in the moment but right now I have a real fear in me. My other s...
|
DreamsOver
|
8
|
513
|
|
|
|
A dear friend of mine passed away
(Preview)
One of my friends had been battling cancer for 7 years. She and her husband were faithful Christians, always willing to help others and pray and offer support. She was always a shoulder to me to lean on. We were the same age and our boys (only children) were the same age, as well. While reflecting on h...
|
ilovedogs
|
21
|
566
|
|
|
|
Dealing with guilt and that annoying "Wait and see" thing. Ugh.
(Preview)
I have been seeing my therapist on a more regular basis since I've been struggling with the crap with my boyfriend that moved me back to Ohio. It's starting to threaten my own sobriety/recovery. I was this close to calling my neurologist and say "Sure! Go ahead and prescribe me vicodin for the pai...
|
bijela
|
3
|
490
|
|
|
|
Grateful
(Preview)
My AH announced a week ago that he didn't want to go to his AA meeting because meetings make him feel bad. In the past I would have scolded and threatened, saying he had to go if he wanted to stay married. This time, I smiled and nodded, and said, well, you know what's best for you. And then I went to MY alanon m...
|
ParisMemories
|
6
|
187
|
|
|
|
New to the boards and needing to talk, or vent, probably both.
(Preview)
I have typed this first sentence 4 times now..nothing seems to make sense when I put what I am thinking into words. My thoughts are a mess, my concentration is shot. My patience is nearly gone. I came here mostly for a safe place to let it out and hope to rescue my sanity. I'm not sure where to begin. My husba...
|
Bobbi
|
10
|
419
|
|
|
|
So completly mixed up................ feeling really mad at myself today!
(Preview)
Hello all I need to vent and I have issues LOL. The ones who have seen my posts know I am living with a dry drunk. Believe it or not this part is not about him His Bday was Friday and when I got home he was in such a good mood (finally-it has been weeks). He was playful , hugging me, kissing me just acting like t...
|
Iwantthingsback
|
10
|
441
|
|
|
|
5-day STENT
(Preview)
Going on day 5 of things have been great, Mr Dry drunk 'xxxx' is sleeping I am not sure what the heck is going on the last 5-days, and I have seen him go a couple months like this so it shouldn't surprise me. Must be things are going well for him at work (he has a very stressful job). We did just get a better nic...
|
Iwantthingsback
|
5
|
330
|
|
|
|
Toby Rice Drews
(Preview)
Has several getting them sober books.............. they all look different/ Which one do --- should I get?
|
Iwantthingsback
|
6
|
335
|
|
|
|
email from my son
(Preview)
Just realized I have 30 days sober today. Last drink was 9/13/2013 very early am. I don't count days or anything, just looked at the calendar and, epiphany LOL I had to look the word up........here's what I took from it lol Epiphanies are relatively rare occurrences and generally follow a proces...
|
Cathyinaz
|
14
|
466
|
|
|
|
SO in Hospital
(Preview)
Good Morning all Sitting here in the hospital waiting to find out if my SO is going to be admitted or go home. A couple of weeks ago my SO hit his nose and it didn't look good. I thought he broke it but he said its just bruised. As I see now he was wrong because last night his face started swelling again and I...
|
Cathyinaz
|
14
|
499
|
|
|
|
pain & agony
(Preview)
OK so I am typing & trying to get through the pain! My leg is killing me & I am very tired of the pain. My back has been injured so many times that I guess it is permanent. I turn my back the wrong way & I feel the shooting pain all the way down my leg. Now I am going to have to take it easy this weekend ev...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
4
|
244
|
|
|
|
Food for Thought
(Preview)
Yesterday while watching a video clip, the fellow really hit home for me. I thought I'ld share some of what he said here.
How can my Higher Power remove my pain when I'm not removing myself from the situation?
How can my Higher Power heal my wounds when I'm not removing the person who's causing them?...
|
Tracey C
|
6
|
244
|
|
|
|
Makes a man forget himself!
(Preview)
"Alcohol ruins one physically, morally, intellectually, and economically. Alcohol makes a man forget himself; and while its effects last, be becomes utterly incapable of doing anything useful. Those who take to drinking, ruin themselves and ruin their people. They lose all sense of dece...
|
Bettina
|
12
|
517
|
|
|
|
Denial no more
(Preview)
I got a good night sleep after along days worth of tears and trying to understand this kaos and found out my A has forms of manic in his family and he can see all his behavior pattern now how he been to me but still never said he was sorry for drive ms crazy . That's not important to me that he didn't say sorry a...
|
Ms co-dependent
|
4
|
222
|
|
|
|
Need to vent badly...
(Preview)
Okay. So firstly I am going to start attending some Al-Anon meetings. My mind is a mess right now and I need help. I've already reached out and scheduled an appt with my old therapist as well... And that's a good place to start... you see... about a year ago I met with my therapist and said I wanted my ex-...
|
Johnny Alias
|
9
|
377
|
|
|
|
how to let go of the guilt
(Preview)
I live a couple hours from my parents and siblings. There is a lot of dysfunction and alcoholism and so I really try and keep my distance from them because it really stresses me out. I am in alanon so it does help me. But yesterday I drove there and got to see my new baby niece and spend time with her. Then I...
|
hope4ever
|
3
|
349
|
|
|
|
blah, blah, blahhhty blah!
(Preview)
Life just keeps coming hard and fast, but I am doing the best I can to grow through it. I do not like when I feel so over stressed the natural ugliness of my thoughts and sometimes words. I have been short tempered and angry with the stress of kids, school and work, homework studying, life there just aren'...
|
Breakingfree
|
3
|
289
|
|
|
|
Letting go is hard to do
(Preview)
Since my last two posts I have continued to do what I said I would do, and that is support my wife's decision to leave and find her identity However I never knew how difficult it would be, just after a couple weeks. Emotionally it is a rollercoaster and personally I am a punching bag for her. Everyday I...
|
gofred123
|
5
|
434
|
|
|
|
A small example of the tools - slogans, prayer and literature.x
(Preview)
|
el-cee
|
3
|
1788
|
|
|
|
Trying to get on with life
(Preview)
So, three weeks ago I asked my alcoholic partner of 8 years to move out of our family home. I am trying to get on with life as best as I can looking after our two little girls and working. The last few weeks have been a emotional roller coaster and for the last few days I am starting to doubt my decision?? Maybe...
|
Medi
|
9
|
461
|
|
|
|
Just stopping by to say hello and update
(Preview)
I just wanted to stop by and say hello to all of you who have loved me, validated me, been patient w/me with the "daughter thing" and those of you who , even tho my posts were not really alanon, you all welcomed me anyway and would give me some love and support during the hard times....which are u...
|
neshema2
|
5
|
373
|
|
|
|
Just for Today
(Preview)
That simple wee card that has those daily little guidelines are so simple and when I read it, think about it and make the effort to live it, my day goes so much more smoothly. I think it costs about 75p here, not sure in US currency but its buttons basically and it can be ordered from the official website.x
|
el-cee
|
5
|
319
|
|
|
|
What is the payoff?
(Preview)
I am sick today. Physically. Something has been going around. I hate this feeling. Stuck in bed. Cant do anything. Cant eat, Cant exercise. Its a beautiful day out to.My dad went to rehab for the 2nd time on Thursday. I was out, so he left a voicemail saying bye. He was clearly slurring. Great to see hes ta...
|
slogan_jim
|
17
|
462
|
|
|
|
Called
(Preview)
I get a call that I missed.....no message left. I looked up the number and it was from my son. I'm OK but I now start to think its all falling apart. I have no trust only fear. I don't know if it will ever get any better no matter what I do to take care of me. This fear he will not make it will destroy my life if...
|
Cathyinaz
|
16
|
454
|
|
|
|
Ouch
(Preview)
Trust nope tell my side of really what's going on here and found out I should not talk anymore . Did not know Alaon played on the other side of the street to at the same time . So my shame my feelings were read by A person who is using my post to gain and take only sourse of help I'm getting thank you for helping me...
|
Ms co-dependent
|
13
|
607
|
|
|
|
After horrible arguing i am now ordering her sherry...?!!
(Preview)
From one extreme to the other. I've said my alcoholic mum can come & stay with me in Cornwall for a 'week'. I only moved here 2 weeks ago, but the plan was always for her to come for a little holiday & she's on her way on the not so express coach (sherry in bag). I actually feel excited about seeing her...
|
qwerty49
|
21
|
475
|
|