Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Sab I · Sab I

I have been trying to let go of resentments for the last ten years they cause me to feel frustrated crazy and alone. It's like playing a tape over and over again so I can feel hurt, rejected and ashamed, inferior all over again. The steps suggest praying for the person and wishing them well.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So I am going to get my mammogram today finally. It is not what I really want to do but in order to find out good or bad what is wrong I have to do it. The program is working but I tend to look into the future. It sucks that I have to get this done because as I look ahead I feel that my surgery 3 years ago may be reverse...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I have been going to face to face meetings for about 3 months now consistantly. I am so afraid to speak at the meetings, it is even hard for me to say my name when we are all introducing ourselves. I dont know why I am so afraid. I get so mad at myself after the meetings (i basically bolt out as soon as its ove...

bud · bud

Tonight my Mom called to let me know that my Dad is in the hospital from another stroke. I thanked her for the information and asked if she needed anything and she said no and we said good bye. I called my Dad in the intensive care unit and, thankfully, he is going to be ok. My Mom had put a moratorium on my vi...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Remember when setting your boundaries, make them realistic, one you can and will stick to without hurting your sanity. Your "A" will most likely test these boundaries so be ready to show they are real. Mine tested my first boundary.. about three times he gave up (and boundary is workin...

joker · joker

I have stepped out into the dating field and I wonder if I am ready. I have met two men off a dating site and by the 2nd date all I have lost all intrest in them. I see red flags everywhere. Either they have bagage from their past they have not dealt with or they are intrested in one thing only..and I find tha...

mongowal · mongowal

I read an quote this morning and thought it was so fitting for the Al-Anon program: People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If your are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you f...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and moved on to others in the family. My eldest son has relapsed...his church program stopped working and he has flushed his life down the toilet. My daughter in law was visiting while I was a way from the house and my wife got the current story...you all know what insanity sounds like and looks like...

islandtime · islandtime

Seems like most of the A s I read about on here are causing trouble of some sort all the time, ect,ect. My AH is a different kind. He never missed a day of work in 40 years, never got arrested, doesn't yell or do any of that. Just the opposite, he reads, watches tv, gardens, fishes, golfs. All the while drinki...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

On page of 125 with courage to change, not an easy read for me and I dont really care for it.. This may or not be the best thing, switching gears, but I put down that book and started Getting them sober. What an awesome awesome book. Only on page 100 but brilliant! I will have to get back to courage to chang...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So my daughter's wedding went well. Her twin sister, my AD, ended up showing up to the wedding at the last minute after saying she wasn't going to attend. I'm glad that I didn't get in the middle of things and let my HP do His work. She was emotional at the ceremony, but we were all glad that she chose to atten...

Simba · Simba

I am not sure I am in the right place.. as I read through the posts I only see alcohol related posts. My wife is a subscription drug abuser is there a difference, does it matter? I need help.

jmn_1395 · jmn_1395

Your participation in a research study on the strengths of ACOA (Age 18-25) would be appreciated. Please click link below to complete the online questionnaires. http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/1405420/Dissertation I would also love to go over your results of this study once I have complete...

Iamgood · Iamgood

Hi everyone, I really benefited from this chains of honest and supportive posts. I got married 6 weeks ago to an alcoholic with 20+ years of solid AA recovery & sobriety. My husband is usually a wise, patient, supportive man. For the past week, he has been irascible, tired, stressed, and seeing so...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Hmm. So about a year ago I learned a little bit (just the top of the iceberg really) about not enabling an addict. And how this could make them wake up and get it together. So I set about not enabling and I got pretty good at it. Goodbye bowing, scraping, resentful abused little doormat, hello "Oh, yo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK so I am struggling w/ my pain still. I can't seem to get comfortable so I don't have a lot of time to post these days between the pain & being uncomfortable. I hope I am not being redundant. I feel sometimes that when I feel physical pain, I struggle w/ mental issues. So, I am not going to probably get t...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I see my my unhealthy ways more today because I'm in myself today and see how easy it has taken control over my daily routine . Why I have this need to know thing going on . It's so hard to live in the moment when you been always told to look a head . I finally see my parent who have past on and I love so much , even t...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Things have been going ok with my AH. I made a previous post about how I was worried that he slept so much, then figured out I was bored. This is still an issue with us. For the past 3 weekends all he's done is sleep 'til noon or one, then watch Nascar, then fall asleep watching the race and not wake up again...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I posted awhile back how I could see my AH brewing a storm in his world.. well it brewed and brewed and I did well. he could not get me to be in his storm. WELL, friday he took our son hunting (he got out of school early) and I ws working. He packed water and gatorades, he knows I have NO tolerance for drinking an...

Jessamine · Jessamine

Somehow in the course of detaching from my AH with love, I did more detaching and less loving. We're both in recovery and he continues to struggle with the damage I did, pre-program, in the months after his bottom. He feels little trust, love, and security in our relationship and I own my part in that. I k...

Jerry F · Jerry F

has always been a process of touch and go and so it was today as a new meeting was started in the office spaces of a local rehab. Got the usual couple who thought they "had" to be there and came in with justifications on why they felt "tricked or manipulated" into it...let them go...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I feel guilty because I think I'm doing wrong and the quilt is telling you all what I'm going to do. I think I am going to let people down here on MIP. My son called and I answered. He is getting out of rehab Thursday morning and I will be the one picking him up and taking him to the sober living place he is tra...

bijela · bijela

I broke up with my boyfriend. His using just got so out of hand. Just as I thought, he completely flipped out and is now writing about it all over Facebook trying to make me look like a heartless b*** for dumping him on Sweetest Day. =( I had no idea it was Sweetest Day or I would have waited to do it on Monday o...

gofred123 · gofred123

It has been 5-weeks now since the reality of getting separated hit home and I started back in AA fulltime and not part time. My focus has been on step 2 & 3 and it is really helping me deal with the highs and lows. And since returning I have realized what good was started, started to slip due to not focus...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm trying to come to terms with having outgrown my workplace. I can see our culture has changed so much. This change in culture is a direct result of a change in management. I've stayed true to myself as much as humanly possible and the result is that I no longer fit there. Coworkers who are feeling t...

sweeetr · sweeetr

the never ending question.. I accept my AH is in denial and isnt going to change (stinks but its true) I educate myself and try to educate my lil boy on safety (even escape plans) and not going down the alcoholic toilet as he grows up with an alcoholic dad. I teach my son to talk about his feelings abou...

debhud · debhud

hi all...boy have i ever back-slidden in my program. today i went off on my AS! i try so hard to stay on my side of the street but just lost it with him. he is very sick in his illness and refuses help. doesn't pay child support. relies on my parents to take care of him financially. usually i do okay with...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Call me crazy, but full moon for me means Batten Down the Hatches; it's gonna get rough. The A is angry, for no discernable reason and drinking. He mentioned going to visit his mum tomorrow (that's a 4 hour drive) and I said- nicely- you can't drive my car there if you stay up all night drinking. And I asked...

Yogi71 · Yogi71

I wrote this to my kids tonight, not with the intention to give it, only to see how it would feel writing it.... Earlier this year your dad made choices that were extremely painful for me and for us. The many months prior to that he was doing things and acting in a way that caused our home life to feel bad. B...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm outrage with the A lack of responsibility . Please tell me when does the A stop thinking about himself and the drink?? When my A was drinking I was left home to care for the children I was both parents he was the absentee . I had a problem this morning and again I take my part of the blame I own my own mouth so...

bijela · bijela

My exboyfriend's drunken crazy cow sister has been harassing me on Facebook, so I blocked her. I sure hope that she won't start texting and calling me because I really don't want to have to change my phone number and screw up my business dealings by having to get all new business cards and contact everyo...

debhud · debhud

well i spouted off to my son...and i was so upset. but yes, today i feel good. (almost feel guilty for admitting that) i don't have anxiety. i don't have a lump in my throat. and i am not crying. after reading all of your responses i came to realize....it's ok. for many years i have "kept my cool&...

Lyne · Lyne

On Thurs. night my A arrived home so drunk, slurring her words, and barely able to keep her balance to walk. I asked her how she drove home and she didn't know. The realizations hit me: she is completely self-destructive still, she is unable to care how far back she sets our marriage, and the worst pos...

LastChanceOnceAgain · LastChanceOnceAgain

Hi everyone. I'm new here and trying to deal with my AH. He just started going to meetings this week. I haven't been to Al Anon yet. We have two kids and it's hard for me to find time.

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Hello I been really working hard on my changing my little ways . One is QTIP and not assuming and not jumping ahead of myself . I don't think I need to know what's gonna happen tomorrow . Why ? That would only give me enough time to find fault with something that might not happen and why lose sleep over it. I be...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm just getting many parts of this program. I never really got the whole 'opposites' concept before. You know looking at your defects and doing the opposite. Resentful = every time I feel it work on forgiveness. Bitter and intolerant = work on being tolerant and again forgiveness. At this moment my...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I spoke with my sponsor yesterday regarding a recent situation with my dad. In summary, my dad is in rehab and wants to come home for the weekend. Noone will pick him up. In frustration, I shouted 'who cares if you come home?' and he h...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

I moved 300 miles away from my alcoholic mum & she's just got back from a week in benidorm with her friend and she's in bed with the flu. For some reason i started panicking thinking she's going to die so i rang the doctors crying and the doctor said she would ring my mum and point her in the direction of a...

joker · joker

Now that I am away from the active alcoholic in my life, he is in jail for abusing me, and I have freedom to be me and no longer have to walk on egg shells, I noticed that I like to tell people what to do. Example of what I mean is I will inquire into thier lives," how are things going" and they may tel...

mongowal · mongowal

I've posted before that my AH left 3 weeks ago because he said he realized he was severely depressed and couldn't stand to hurt me anymore. He has little contact with me except with a few text messages that have to with cars and when my daughter needs to be picked up. At first he avoided coming to the ho...

abbyalana · abbyalana

Do some alcoholics not hit a rock bottom? My therapist said that to me the other day. My therapist has been doing this kind of therapy (addicts, couples, family members of...) for years and I have to assume that on some level he's right - some addicts don't hit rock bottom. He'd have thought that my ex w...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Went to doctor yesterday--nodule in my left breast he said. Mammogram next week I think. Pain is still lurking in my back & leg--going to chiropractor today. I am anxious but in OK spirits. I am not going to lose my serenity over this even if sometimes I want to throw things & scream out loud! Sin...

Bettina · Bettina

"Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him." Unk -- Edited by Bettina on Thursday 17th of October 2013 07:48:43 PM

JenRae23 · JenRae23

Hello Everyone, I am new here, although I have checked out the site and topics many of times before. My boyrfriend is 62 days sober and clean today! I have to say I lost hope for a really long time...we have been together since August 15 2012. We were both students at Southern Illinois University and we me...

Rose50 · Rose50

My son called me today. He said he hadn't been in touch because "something bad happened" but he wasn't ready to tell me exactly what. Told me he would call soon with the details. The phone number he called from wasn't his and I could look it up on the internet but I don't want to do that. Surprisi...

hotrod · hotrod

STEP 3 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55294399/step-3-alanon/

Tracey C · Tracey C

A thought came to me before, if I knew I only had this day to live, who would I choose to spend it with? What behaviours would I accept to stay in the presence of? Then also, if my children only had this 24hrs, who would I like them to be with or who would they like to be with? Who would treat them the best? Just...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well me and my A did very little talking today I went to a meeting last night and it was a meeting that we all were in the same place no one healthier no one sicker we were all in the same mood ( drained) . We all added to the table and all left home with something . Today my A was surpose to work and he took off to go t...

oldergal · oldergal

I try not to have expectations, but when it comes to hiring someone on your property to do projects (building gate, cutting wood etc.) I expect them to come on time and complete the job in a timely fashion. But no it doesnt seem to happen lately. I am not sure if I am from the old school of work ethics or that t...

rehprof · rehprof

the exA called my 11yo son wednesday...and made plans for the weekend...unbeknownst to me, the ex's sister bought the kids tix to a haunted hayride. The 17 yo changed his mind, and decided he did not want to go, and texted the ex thurs eve. I get a call this morning...the exA is all ticked off that the 17yo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning I got in my car this morning going to work and as I'm going down the street I say the Serenity Prayer as I do everyday. After that I started thinking about my son....like where is he going to from rehab. Is he going to be able to find a job, is he going to continue his program and stay sober...et...

oldergal · oldergal

islandtime · islandtime

Unfortunately about 80% of the folks at the f2f meetings that I go to, are there because they have kids on drugs. They are going through all kinds of hell and have awful stories to tell every week. They get on their soap boxes and that's it, no detail left out. They are not working the program, and just...

stilllearning · stilllearning

Hello all, I'm feeling so lost..so sad. I have lost who I am..I have been in the program for years.. but in the last 2years I really don't like who I have turned into. So much back sliding..lost of contact and belief in a higher power.. Hence to say two years ago I got into another relationship and worked re...

stilllearning · stilllearning

Hello I am a male living in a small town with no men in our face to face meetings. I have been in the program for many years but have really lost my way and went backwards. I'm not in a crisis(well feeling pretty down) but I have become so negative and lost my hope... I want and to really put forth the effort t...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

From the AA Big Book, "The Family Afterward" (a great read with ANSWERS, which we are always seeking!): "Our loyalty and the desire that our husbands hold up their heads and be like other men have begotten all sorts of predicaments. We have been unselfish and self-sacrificing. We h...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well I must say today is a day I did some back track and read all my posts . I can't believe how much I wasted all my time talking about the DRINK . Why did I ? Why did I do what it wanted me to do. I don't drink I don't have a problem . The only problem I know I have is my sick co dependent ways and I take the blame for th...

joker · joker

Since I called the police on the ex alcoholic bf, that was extremely abusive toward me, I feel I have changed. I remember whenI first met him, 2 years ago, I was needy and felt I needed a man. Today, after a lot of therapy work, and reading here, I feel so different. I feel Free at last. I am happy in my own...

thistooshallpass · thistooshallpass

So a little over a month ago I found out that my husband (who was almost 20 months sober) was cheating on me with a girl from his AA group. I kicked him out. He immediately relapsed and has been following that path of destruction for the last 5 weeks. He is living with the girl and her mother who both are al...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

The 7 day stretch of good moods and normal ways didnt last and I didnt think it would but I am happy I got that at least. Those little stretches allows us to stay connected and stay in love. If he was Mr. Dry butt head every single day I couldnt deal with that and or would fall out of love, as I have come close...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Resentment (Preview) I have been trying to let go of resentments for the last ten years they cause me to feel frustrated crazy and alone. It's like playing a tape over and over again so I can feel hurt, rejected and ashamed, inferior all over again. The steps suggest praying for the person and wishing them well.	Sab I	3	286	Oct 24, 2013 by neshema2
	using the program...it works! (Preview) So I am going to get my mammogram today finally. It is not what I really want to do but in order to find out good or bad what is wrong I have to do it. The program is working but I tend to look into the future. It sucks that I have to get this done because as I look ahead I feel that my surgery 3 years ago may be reverse...	Hoot Nanny	2	298	Oct 24, 2013 by stilllearning
	Afraid to speak at meetings (Preview) I have been going to face to face meetings for about 3 months now consistantly. I am so afraid to speak at the meetings, it is even hard for me to say my name when we are all introducing ourselves. I dont know why I am so afraid. I get so mad at myself after the meetings (i basically bolt out as soon as its ove...	dragonflys	8	721	Oct 23, 2013 by Sab I
	more crazy making (Preview) Tonight my Mom called to let me know that my Dad is in the hospital from another stroke. I thanked her for the information and asked if she needed anything and she said no and we said good bye. I called my Dad in the intensive care unit and, thankfully, he is going to be ok. My Mom had put a moratorium on my vi...	bud	11	502	Oct 23, 2013 by Peggy7
	Food for thought and thought and thought :) (Preview) Remember when setting your boundaries, make them realistic, one you can and will stick to without hurting your sanity. Your "A" will most likely test these boundaries so be ready to show they are real. Mine tested my first boundary.. about three times he gave up (and boundary is workin...	Iwantthingsback	2	242	Oct 23, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	questions about dating (Preview) I have stepped out into the dating field and I wonder if I am ready. I have met two men off a dating site and by the 2nd date all I have lost all intrest in them. I see red flags everywhere. Either they have bagage from their past they have not dealt with or they are intrested in one thing only..and I find tha...	joker	12	560	Oct 23, 2013 by milkwood
	Good way to start out the day. (Preview) I read an quote this morning and thought it was so fitting for the Al-Anon program: People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If your are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you f...	mongowal	5	250	Oct 23, 2013 by milkwood
	It's gone past our house.... (Preview) and moved on to others in the family. My eldest son has relapsed...his church program stopped working and he has flushed his life down the toilet. My daughter in law was visiting while I was a way from the house and my wife got the current story...you all know what insanity sounds like and looks like...	Jerry F	17	575	Oct 23, 2013 by tiredtonite
	a different kind of A (Preview) Seems like most of the A s I read about on here are causing trouble of some sort all the time, ect,ect. My AH is a different kind. He never missed a day of work in 40 years, never got arrested, doesn't yell or do any of that. Just the opposite, he reads, watches tv, gardens, fishes, golfs. All the while drinki...	islandtime	7	326	Oct 23, 2013 by maryjane
	Read it! :) (Preview) On page of 125 with courage to change, not an easy read for me and I dont really care for it.. This may or not be the best thing, switching gears, but I put down that book and started Getting them sober. What an awesome awesome book. Only on page 100 but brilliant! I will have to get back to courage to chang...	Iwantthingsback	9	412	Oct 23, 2013 by maryjane
	Update (Preview) So my daughter's wedding went well. Her twin sister, my AD, ended up showing up to the wedding at the last minute after saying she wasn't going to attend. I'm glad that I didn't get in the middle of things and let my HP do His work. She was emotional at the ceremony, but we were all glad that she chose to atten...	Green Eyes	5	257	Oct 23, 2013 by hotrod
	Al-ANON vs NA ? (Preview) I am not sure I am in the right place.. as I read through the posts I only see alcohol related posts. My wife is a subscription drug abuser is there a difference, does it matter? I need help.	Simba	16	1085	Oct 23, 2013 by mtnest57
	Strengths of Adult Children of Alcoholics (Preview) Your participation in a research study on the strengths of ACOA (Age 18-25) would be appreciated. Please click link below to complete the online questionnaires. http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/1405420/Dissertation I would also love to go over your results of this study once I have complete...	jmn_1395	0	464	Oct 22, 2013 by jmn_1395
	New Marriage, Dry Drunk, How Al-Anon Works (Preview) Hi everyone, I really benefited from this chains of honest and supportive posts. I got married 6 weeks ago to an alcoholic with 20+ years of solid AA recovery & sobriety. My husband is usually a wise, patient, supportive man. For the past week, he has been irascible, tired, stressed, and seeing so...	Iamgood	12	523	Oct 22, 2013 by Iamgood
	What's in it for me? (Preview) Hmm. So about a year ago I learned a little bit (just the top of the iceberg really) about not enabling an addict. And how this could make them wake up and get it together. So I set about not enabling and I got pretty good at it. Goodbye bowing, scraping, resentful abused little doormat, hello "Oh, yo...	Melly1248	17	603	Oct 22, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	no time (Preview) OK so I am struggling w/ my pain still. I can't seem to get comfortable so I don't have a lot of time to post these days between the pain & being uncomfortable. I hope I am not being redundant. I feel sometimes that when I feel physical pain, I struggle w/ mental issues. So, I am not going to probably get t...	Hoot Nanny	4	371	Oct 22, 2013 by PP
	Finally time to rest (Preview) I see my my unhealthy ways more today because I'm in myself today and see how easy it has taken control over my daily routine . Why I have this need to know thing going on . It's so hard to live in the moment when you been always told to look a head . I finally see my parent who have past on and I love so much , even t...	Ms co-dependent	3	283	Oct 22, 2013 by PP
	Bored and boring (Preview) Things have been going ok with my AH. I made a previous post about how I was worried that he slept so much, then figured out I was bored. This is still an issue with us. For the past 3 weekends all he's done is sleep 'til noon or one, then watch Nascar, then fall asleep watching the race and not wake up again...	SpiderArcana	7	429	Oct 22, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	please read and follow with ideas/advice/opinions (Preview) I posted awhile back how I could see my AH brewing a storm in his world.. well it brewed and brewed and I did well. he could not get me to be in his storm. WELL, friday he took our son hunting (he got out of school early) and I ws working. He packed water and gatorades, he knows I have NO tolerance for drinking an...	sweeetr	7	436	Oct 22, 2013 by Debilyn
	Acknowledging my sponsor's wisdom (Preview) Somehow in the course of detaching from my AH with love, I did more detaching and less loving. We're both in recovery and he continues to struggle with the damage I did, pre-program, in the months after his bottom. He feels little trust, love, and security in our relationship and I own my part in that. I k...	Jessamine	3	344	Oct 22, 2013 by Jerry F
	Starting a new meeting... (Preview) has always been a process of touch and go and so it was today as a new meeting was started in the office spaces of a local rehab. Got the usual couple who thought they "had" to be there and came in with justifications on why they felt "tricked or manipulated" into it...let them go...	Jerry F	7	509	Oct 22, 2013 by Tasha
	I'm feeling Guilty (Preview) I feel guilty because I think I'm doing wrong and the quilt is telling you all what I'm going to do. I think I am going to let people down here on MIP. My son called and I answered. He is getting out of rehab Thursday morning and I will be the one picking him up and taking him to the sober living place he is tra...	Cathyinaz	21	775	Oct 22, 2013 by Tasha
	I had to break up with him. It was making me sicker. (Preview) I broke up with my boyfriend. His using just got so out of hand. Just as I thought, he completely flipped out and is now writing about it all over Facebook trying to make me look like a heartless b*** for dumping him on Sweetest Day. =( I had no idea it was Sweetest Day or I would have waited to do it on Monday o...	bijela	6	312	Oct 22, 2013 by neshema2
	Accepting seperation and trying to understand (Preview) It has been 5-weeks now since the reality of getting separated hit home and I started back in AA fulltime and not part time. My focus has been on step 2 & 3 and it is really helping me deal with the highs and lows. And since returning I have realized what good was started, started to slip due to not focus...	gofred123	5	302	Oct 22, 2013 by abbyal
	Belonging (Preview) I'm trying to come to terms with having outgrown my workplace. I can see our culture has changed so much. This change in culture is a direct result of a change in management. I've stayed true to myself as much as humanly possible and the result is that I no longer fit there. Coworkers who are feeling t...	tiredtonite	6	418	Oct 22, 2013 by tiredtonite
	what to do.. what to do (Preview) the never ending question.. I accept my AH is in denial and isnt going to change (stinks but its true) I educate myself and try to educate my lil boy on safety (even escape plans) and not going down the alcoholic toilet as he grows up with an alcoholic dad. I teach my son to talk about his feelings abou...	sweeetr	3	454	Oct 22, 2013 by bud
	please. i can't stop crying.... need esh... (Preview) hi all...boy have i ever back-slidden in my program. today i went off on my AS! i try so hard to stay on my side of the street but just lost it with him. he is very sick in his illness and refuses help. doesn't pay child support. relies on my parents to take care of him financially. usually i do okay with...	debhud	10	554	Oct 21, 2013 by neshema2
	Full Moon Fun and Games (Preview) Call me crazy, but full moon for me means Batten Down the Hatches; it's gonna get rough. The A is angry, for no discernable reason and drinking. He mentioned going to visit his mum tomorrow (that's a 4 hour drive) and I said- nicely- you can't drive my car there if you stay up all night drinking. And I asked...	Melly1248	26	715	Oct 21, 2013 by hotrod
	Letter to my kids (Preview) I wrote this to my kids tonight, not with the intention to give it, only to see how it would feel writing it.... Earlier this year your dad made choices that were extremely painful for me and for us. The many months prior to that he was doing things and acting in a way that caused our home life to feel bad. B...	Yogi71	15	545	Oct 21, 2013 by grateful2be
	Comments please !!! Why does (Preview) I'm outrage with the A lack of responsibility . Please tell me when does the A stop thinking about himself and the drink?? When my A was drinking I was left home to care for the children I was both parents he was the absentee . I had a problem this morning and again I take my part of the blame I own my own mouth so...	Ms co-dependent	5	417	Oct 21, 2013 by Aloha
	I knew that this was going to end badly... (Preview) My exboyfriend's drunken crazy cow sister has been harassing me on Facebook, so I blocked her. I sure hope that she won't start texting and calling me because I really don't want to have to change my phone number and screw up my business dealings by having to get all new business cards and contact everyo...	bijela	7	387	Oct 21, 2013 by neshema2
	Regarding "i can't stop crying...." THANK YOU EVERYONE! (Preview) well i spouted off to my son...and i was so upset. but yes, today i feel good. (almost feel guilty for admitting that) i don't have anxiety. i don't have a lump in my throat. and i am not crying. after reading all of your responses i came to realize....it's ok. for many years i have "kept my cool&...	debhud	2	242	Oct 21, 2013 by Jerry F
	amazing experience (Preview) On Thurs. night my A arrived home so drunk, slurring her words, and barely able to keep her balance to walk. I asked her how she drove home and she didn't know. The realizations hit me: she is completely self-destructive still, she is unable to care how far back she sets our marriage, and the worst pos...	Lyne	4	306	Oct 21, 2013 by Jerry F
	Introduce myself (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here and trying to deal with my AH. He just started going to meetings this week. I haven't been to Al Anon yet. We have two kids and it's hard for me to find time.	LastChanceOnceAgain	7	584	Oct 21, 2013 by neshema2
	How to apply tools to children (Preview) Hello I been really working hard on my changing my little ways . One is QTIP and not assuming and not jumping ahead of myself . I don't think I need to know what's gonna happen tomorrow . Why ? That would only give me enough time to find fault with something that might not happen and why lose sleep over it. I be...	Ms co-dependent	3	287	Oct 20, 2013 by abbyal
	Opposites (Preview) I'm just getting many parts of this program. I never really got the whole 'opposites' concept before. You know looking at your defects and doing the opposite. Resentful = every time I feel it work on forgiveness. Bitter and intolerant = work on being tolerant and again forgiveness. At this moment my...	el-cee	7	240	Oct 20, 2013 by grateful2be
	Is the serenity prayer over-rated? (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I spoke with my sponsor yesterday regarding a recent situation with my dad. In summary, my dad is in rehab and wants to come home for the weekend. Noone will pick him up. In frustration, I shouted 'who cares if you come home?' and he h...	slogan_jim	17	837	Oct 20, 2013 by maryjane
	Guilty feelings overwhelming (Preview) I moved 300 miles away from my alcoholic mum & she's just got back from a week in benidorm with her friend and she's in bed with the flu. For some reason i started panicking thinking she's going to die so i rang the doctors crying and the doctor said she would ring my mum and point her in the direction of a...	qwerty49	13	464	Oct 20, 2013 by maryjane
	Telling people what to do (Preview) Now that I am away from the active alcoholic in my life, he is in jail for abusing me, and I have freedom to be me and no longer have to walk on egg shells, I noticed that I like to tell people what to do. Example of what I mean is I will inquire into thier lives," how are things going" and they may tel...	joker	13	438	Oct 20, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Hurt (Preview) I've posted before that my AH left 3 weeks ago because he said he realized he was severely depressed and couldn't stand to hurt me anymore. He has little contact with me except with a few text messages that have to with cars and when my daughter needs to be picked up. At first he avoided coming to the ho...	mongowal	13	391	Oct 20, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Rock bottom (Preview) Do some alcoholics not hit a rock bottom? My therapist said that to me the other day. My therapist has been doing this kind of therapy (addicts, couples, family members of...) for years and I have to assume that on some level he's right - some addicts don't hit rock bottom. He'd have thought that my ex w...	abbyalana	10	437	Oct 20, 2013 by Tattyhead
	pain still but some relief to come...(real quick) (Preview) Went to doctor yesterday--nodule in my left breast he said. Mammogram next week I think. Pain is still lurking in my back & leg--going to chiropractor today. I am anxious but in OK spirits. I am not going to lose my serenity over this even if sometimes I want to throw things & scream out loud! Sin...	Hoot Nanny	4	245	Oct 19, 2013 by Tattyhead
	Profound advice (Preview) "Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him." Unk -- Edited by Bettina on Thursday 17th of October 2013 07:48:43 PM	Bettina	4	315	Oct 19, 2013 by Melly1248
	New here-Would love Participation! (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am new here, although I have checked out the site and topics many of times before. My boyrfriend is 62 days sober and clean today! I have to say I lost hope for a really long time...we have been together since August 15 2012. We were both students at Southern Illinois University and we me...	JenRae23	11	304	Oct 19, 2013 by Bettina
	Waiting to hear what happened (Preview) My son called me today. He said he hadn't been in touch because "something bad happened" but he wasn't ready to tell me exactly what. Told me he would call soon with the details. The phone number he called from wasn't his and I could look it up on the internet but I don't want to do that. Surprisi...	Rose50	14	495	Oct 19, 2013 by el-cee
	STEP3 POSTED TO STEP BOARD (Preview) STEP 3 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55294399/step-3-alanon/	hotrod	0	121	Oct 18, 2013 by hotrod
	What if..... (Preview) A thought came to me before, if I knew I only had this day to live, who would I choose to spend it with? What behaviours would I accept to stay in the presence of? Then also, if my children only had this 24hrs, who would I like them to be with or who would they like to be with? Who would treat them the best? Just...	Tracey C	10	486	Oct 19, 2013 by Rose50
	Topic 3 tonight (Preview) Well me and my A did very little talking today I went to a meeting last night and it was a meeting that we all were in the same place no one healthier no one sicker we were all in the same mood ( drained) . We all added to the table and all left home with something . Today my A was surpose to work and he took off to go t...	Ms co-dependent	10	516	Oct 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	WORK ETHICS, EXPECTATIONS (Preview) I try not to have expectations, but when it comes to hiring someone on your property to do projects (building gate, cutting wood etc.) I expect them to come on time and complete the job in a timely fashion. But no it doesnt seem to happen lately. I am not sure if I am from the old school of work ethics or that t...	oldergal	10	602	Oct 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	yep ...consequences (Preview) the exA called my 11yo son wednesday...and made plans for the weekend...unbeknownst to me, the ex's sister bought the kids tix to a haunted hayride. The 17 yo changed his mind, and decided he did not want to go, and texted the ex thurs eve. I get a call this morning...the exA is all ticked off that the 17yo...	rehprof	7	263	Oct 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	Today's Tidbit (Preview) Good Morning I got in my car this morning going to work and as I'm going down the street I say the Serenity Prayer as I do everyday. After that I started thinking about my son....like where is he going to from rehab. Is he going to be able to find a job, is he going to continue his program and stay sober...et...	Cathyinaz	5	290	Oct 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	A COUPLE OF BITS OF WISDOM...! (Preview)	oldergal	1	181	Oct 19, 2013 by grateful2be
	not much help at F2F meetings (Preview) Unfortunately about 80% of the folks at the f2f meetings that I go to, are there because they have kids on drugs. They are going through all kinds of hell and have awful stories to tell every week. They get on their soap boxes and that's it, no detail left out. They are not working the program, and just...	islandtime	15	365	Oct 18, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Have lost my way... needing wisdom..ideas (Preview) Hello all, I'm feeling so lost..so sad. I have lost who I am..I have been in the program for years.. but in the last 2years I really don't like who I have turned into. So much back sliding..lost of contact and belief in a higher power.. Hence to say two years ago I got into another relationship and worked re...	stilllearning	10	387	Oct 18, 2013 by stilllearning
	Live in small town...Seeking a male sponsor or at least a temporary sponsor please (Preview) Hello I am a male living in a small town with no men in our face to face meetings. I have been in the program for many years but have really lost my way and went backwards. I'm not in a crisis(well feeling pretty down) but I have become so negative and lost my hope... I want and to really put forth the effort t...	stilllearning	4	321	Oct 18, 2013 by stilllearning
	Do You Identify With Any of This? (Preview) From the AA Big Book, "The Family Afterward" (a great read with ANSWERS, which we are always seeking!): "Our loyalty and the desire that our husbands hold up their heads and be like other men have begotten all sorts of predicaments. We have been unselfish and self-sacrificing. We h...	WorkingThroughIt	17	538	Oct 17, 2013 by grateful2be
	My turn to be selfish (Preview) Well I must say today is a day I did some back track and read all my posts . I can't believe how much I wasted all my time talking about the DRINK . Why did I ? Why did I do what it wanted me to do. I don't drink I don't have a problem . The only problem I know I have is my sick co dependent ways and I take the blame for th...	Ms co-dependent	9	436	Oct 18, 2013 by Ms co-dependent
	New feelings (Preview) Since I called the police on the ex alcoholic bf, that was extremely abusive toward me, I feel I have changed. I remember whenI first met him, 2 years ago, I was needy and felt I needed a man. Today, after a lot of therapy work, and reading here, I feel so different. I feel Free at last. I am happy in my own...	joker	2	214	Oct 18, 2013 by hotrod
	Need Your Help! (Preview) So a little over a month ago I found out that my husband (who was almost 20 months sober) was cheating on me with a girl from his AA group. I kicked him out. He immediately relapsed and has been following that path of destruction for the last 5 weeks. He is living with the girl and her mother who both are al...	thistooshallpass	15	533	Oct 17, 2013 by Bettina
	Stay focused (Preview) The 7 day stretch of good moods and normal ways didnt last and I didnt think it would but I am happy I got that at least. Those little stretches allows us to stay connected and stay in love. If he was Mr. Dry butt head every single day I couldnt deal with that and or would fall out of love, as I have come close...	Iwantthingsback	10	494	Oct 17, 2013 by joker
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.