Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Hi all - I hope everyone is happy today!I am doing pretty good with a lot of things, BUT the detaching part, holy cow. How in the heck did you all learn this? I can detach, but it is effecting my feelings big time, sex drive, everything. I am still reading my material, getting therapy and learning but ho...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

So I finally managed to work out how to block calls and texts from my Alcoholic mum. The final straw was when she said she had the flu and was in bed, she said the doctor had taken blood but she wasn't sure why. My mum is late stages alcoholic liver disease but still drinking. I went into a state of panic and ra...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Does the pain of loving someone addicted to alcohol ever leave you? My husband of nearly 40 years died in August 2011. Although I was sad, I have to admit it was also a relief. To say he had put me and our two children through hell is an understatement. 2 and a bit years later everyone assumes you must be OK - t...

neshema2 · neshema2

This week was a test on my aversion to CHANGE... electric company was trying to force me into renewing with them at higher rate, using pressure.."sign up now or you may pay more" AND they wanted me to change contract b4 my old expired to "lock me in" at the higher rate........wen...

cinders · cinders

Starting a new and promising relationship with a non-alcoholic. Wonderful man that I am really enjoying getting to know. He is kind, supportive, funny and very sweet. Someone that I really enjoy spending time with. I am seeing my insecurities from past relationship with my ex alcoholic husban...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I know I had my slumps and slips, but I have grown and have seen so many people grow and make some really great strides so I know it can be done. I have also seen and heard and heard and heard the other side of that in meetings, here and in life and I am running out being able to hear people complain about the e...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I was talking with my dad and brother yesterday and we got to discussing how my AM is sick again this year. .she's had a cold, an asthmatic episode, and she's still depressed. She tells me often that she's tired of being sick...it's no wonder that in the last few years she's had her knee replacement surge...

abell · abell

I have a few years of anger and fear stored inside my body from living with the A for years. He was my family and my everything, like chronic misery of the mind and body. Then there was a death in my family this year, and when I came back to town the A had been drinking a lot while I was gone, and I was grieving,...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I did go on the trip wth my girlfrind and 2 of her friends, we had a wonderful time. I did learn learn a lot about comparing, I learned one of the ladies (the main bragger) deceased husband was an alcoholic, her daugter who happened to join us at the resort with her husband is an alcoholic, not active due to...

Bobbi · Bobbi

I'm screwing up and I don't know why. Yes there is stress at home. And yes he is an alcoholic. But none of that excuses me from bad behavior. I said some awful things to my husband a few days ago. Everything was fine. We were getting along great. Having an evening in together. Completely out of nowhere I got...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

So, I had my on therapy apt last night (keep in mind this is or couple therapist as well and 25 yrs drug and alcohol therapist too) there are rules to doing this but he will see us one on one if we request this and both of us are ok with this. Anyway, we talked last night about how frustrated I get because he isnt...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

For the last two weeks my AM has done this daily: wake up, watch TV, read, talk on the phone, get drunk and go to bed... we (myself, my brother and my dad especially) are getting tired of it. It's at the point now where she doesn't eat dinner much less make it! I don't know if this is ironic or not but incidentl...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm so upset for my A attitude this evening . I went out of my house for first time with a new attitude not to think of what will happen when I got home . I didn't want to think about how I'm gonna handle this childish behavior of my A . I have done nothing wrong I took his advise and went out and if he had a proble...

rehprof · rehprof

My place of work has cracked down on my ability to pick up extra classes for money...to make ends meet. My exA has given about $200 to me for support in 3 years (he did buy a car for his son, and a tv -- this with my retirement money from the divorce -- but he spent that 50K right away). He does not work, and tells...

Zabi · Zabi

Morning prayer a daily reader anything from recovery suggestions is really important for me in the morning because for what ever reason ivery rarely wake up with positive thinking. When I reflect back it has definitely improved through awareness and doing something about it . Very grateful for a...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Another approved reading last night in therapy. I say approved because it has taken me almost a year speak to my dry A where it doesnt cause a fight , gets my point across and for positive things to come out of it. More importantly makes me feel better. I used to be all over the place with my talks and by w...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, I came on here yesterday and again it has sparked an enlightenment in my recovery. My a is sober and in AA and it a lot better today although he is running to work etc ( not working his recovery the way i want him to ha ha ). I realised yesterday after reading on here that I am still wanting him to fill the...

Sab I · Sab I

I have been trying to let go of resentments for the last ten years they cause me to feel frustrated crazy and alone. It's like playing a tape over and over again so I can feel hurt, rejected and ashamed, inferior all over again. The steps suggest praying for the person and wishing them well.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So I am going to get my mammogram today finally. It is not what I really want to do but in order to find out good or bad what is wrong I have to do it. The program is working but I tend to look into the future. It sucks that I have to get this done because as I look ahead I feel that my surgery 3 years ago may be reverse...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I have been going to face to face meetings for about 3 months now consistantly. I am so afraid to speak at the meetings, it is even hard for me to say my name when we are all introducing ourselves. I dont know why I am so afraid. I get so mad at myself after the meetings (i basically bolt out as soon as its ove...

bud · bud

Tonight my Mom called to let me know that my Dad is in the hospital from another stroke. I thanked her for the information and asked if she needed anything and she said no and we said good bye. I called my Dad in the intensive care unit and, thankfully, he is going to be ok. My Mom had put a moratorium on my vi...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Remember when setting your boundaries, make them realistic, one you can and will stick to without hurting your sanity. Your "A" will most likely test these boundaries so be ready to show they are real. Mine tested my first boundary.. about three times he gave up (and boundary is workin...

joker · joker

I have stepped out into the dating field and I wonder if I am ready. I have met two men off a dating site and by the 2nd date all I have lost all intrest in them. I see red flags everywhere. Either they have bagage from their past they have not dealt with or they are intrested in one thing only..and I find tha...

mongowal · mongowal

I read an quote this morning and thought it was so fitting for the Al-Anon program: People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If your are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you f...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and moved on to others in the family. My eldest son has relapsed...his church program stopped working and he has flushed his life down the toilet. My daughter in law was visiting while I was a way from the house and my wife got the current story...you all know what insanity sounds like and looks like...

islandtime · islandtime

Seems like most of the A s I read about on here are causing trouble of some sort all the time, ect,ect. My AH is a different kind. He never missed a day of work in 40 years, never got arrested, doesn't yell or do any of that. Just the opposite, he reads, watches tv, gardens, fishes, golfs. All the while drinki...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

On page of 125 with courage to change, not an easy read for me and I dont really care for it.. This may or not be the best thing, switching gears, but I put down that book and started Getting them sober. What an awesome awesome book. Only on page 100 but brilliant! I will have to get back to courage to chang...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So my daughter's wedding went well. Her twin sister, my AD, ended up showing up to the wedding at the last minute after saying she wasn't going to attend. I'm glad that I didn't get in the middle of things and let my HP do His work. She was emotional at the ceremony, but we were all glad that she chose to atten...

Simba · Simba

I am not sure I am in the right place.. as I read through the posts I only see alcohol related posts. My wife is a subscription drug abuser is there a difference, does it matter? I need help.

jmn_1395 · jmn_1395

Your participation in a research study on the strengths of ACOA (Age 18-25) would be appreciated. Please click link below to complete the online questionnaires. http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/1405420/Dissertation I would also love to go over your results of this study once I have complete...

Iamgood · Iamgood

Hi everyone, I really benefited from this chains of honest and supportive posts. I got married 6 weeks ago to an alcoholic with 20+ years of solid AA recovery & sobriety. My husband is usually a wise, patient, supportive man. For the past week, he has been irascible, tired, stressed, and seeing so...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Hmm. So about a year ago I learned a little bit (just the top of the iceberg really) about not enabling an addict. And how this could make them wake up and get it together. So I set about not enabling and I got pretty good at it. Goodbye bowing, scraping, resentful abused little doormat, hello "Oh, yo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

OK so I am struggling w/ my pain still. I can't seem to get comfortable so I don't have a lot of time to post these days between the pain & being uncomfortable. I hope I am not being redundant. I feel sometimes that when I feel physical pain, I struggle w/ mental issues. So, I am not going to probably get t...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I see my my unhealthy ways more today because I'm in myself today and see how easy it has taken control over my daily routine . Why I have this need to know thing going on . It's so hard to live in the moment when you been always told to look a head . I finally see my parent who have past on and I love so much , even t...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Things have been going ok with my AH. I made a previous post about how I was worried that he slept so much, then figured out I was bored. This is still an issue with us. For the past 3 weekends all he's done is sleep 'til noon or one, then watch Nascar, then fall asleep watching the race and not wake up again...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I posted awhile back how I could see my AH brewing a storm in his world.. well it brewed and brewed and I did well. he could not get me to be in his storm. WELL, friday he took our son hunting (he got out of school early) and I ws working. He packed water and gatorades, he knows I have NO tolerance for drinking an...

Jessamine · Jessamine

Somehow in the course of detaching from my AH with love, I did more detaching and less loving. We're both in recovery and he continues to struggle with the damage I did, pre-program, in the months after his bottom. He feels little trust, love, and security in our relationship and I own my part in that. I k...

Jerry F · Jerry F

has always been a process of touch and go and so it was today as a new meeting was started in the office spaces of a local rehab. Got the usual couple who thought they "had" to be there and came in with justifications on why they felt "tricked or manipulated" into it...let them go...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I feel guilty because I think I'm doing wrong and the quilt is telling you all what I'm going to do. I think I am going to let people down here on MIP. My son called and I answered. He is getting out of rehab Thursday morning and I will be the one picking him up and taking him to the sober living place he is tra...

bijela · bijela

I broke up with my boyfriend. His using just got so out of hand. Just as I thought, he completely flipped out and is now writing about it all over Facebook trying to make me look like a heartless b*** for dumping him on Sweetest Day. =( I had no idea it was Sweetest Day or I would have waited to do it on Monday o...

gofred123 · gofred123

It has been 5-weeks now since the reality of getting separated hit home and I started back in AA fulltime and not part time. My focus has been on step 2 & 3 and it is really helping me deal with the highs and lows. And since returning I have realized what good was started, started to slip due to not focus...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I'm trying to come to terms with having outgrown my workplace. I can see our culture has changed so much. This change in culture is a direct result of a change in management. I've stayed true to myself as much as humanly possible and the result is that I no longer fit there. Coworkers who are feeling t...

sweeetr · sweeetr

the never ending question.. I accept my AH is in denial and isnt going to change (stinks but its true) I educate myself and try to educate my lil boy on safety (even escape plans) and not going down the alcoholic toilet as he grows up with an alcoholic dad. I teach my son to talk about his feelings abou...

debhud · debhud

hi all...boy have i ever back-slidden in my program. today i went off on my AS! i try so hard to stay on my side of the street but just lost it with him. he is very sick in his illness and refuses help. doesn't pay child support. relies on my parents to take care of him financially. usually i do okay with...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Call me crazy, but full moon for me means Batten Down the Hatches; it's gonna get rough. The A is angry, for no discernable reason and drinking. He mentioned going to visit his mum tomorrow (that's a 4 hour drive) and I said- nicely- you can't drive my car there if you stay up all night drinking. And I asked...

Yogi71 · Yogi71

I wrote this to my kids tonight, not with the intention to give it, only to see how it would feel writing it.... Earlier this year your dad made choices that were extremely painful for me and for us. The many months prior to that he was doing things and acting in a way that caused our home life to feel bad. B...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm outrage with the A lack of responsibility . Please tell me when does the A stop thinking about himself and the drink?? When my A was drinking I was left home to care for the children I was both parents he was the absentee . I had a problem this morning and again I take my part of the blame I own my own mouth so...

bijela · bijela

My exboyfriend's drunken crazy cow sister has been harassing me on Facebook, so I blocked her. I sure hope that she won't start texting and calling me because I really don't want to have to change my phone number and screw up my business dealings by having to get all new business cards and contact everyo...

debhud · debhud

well i spouted off to my son...and i was so upset. but yes, today i feel good. (almost feel guilty for admitting that) i don't have anxiety. i don't have a lump in my throat. and i am not crying. after reading all of your responses i came to realize....it's ok. for many years i have "kept my cool&...

Lyne · Lyne

On Thurs. night my A arrived home so drunk, slurring her words, and barely able to keep her balance to walk. I asked her how she drove home and she didn't know. The realizations hit me: she is completely self-destructive still, she is unable to care how far back she sets our marriage, and the worst pos...

LastChanceOnceAgain · LastChanceOnceAgain

Hi everyone. I'm new here and trying to deal with my AH. He just started going to meetings this week. I haven't been to Al Anon yet. We have two kids and it's hard for me to find time.

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Hello I been really working hard on my changing my little ways . One is QTIP and not assuming and not jumping ahead of myself . I don't think I need to know what's gonna happen tomorrow . Why ? That would only give me enough time to find fault with something that might not happen and why lose sleep over it. I be...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm just getting many parts of this program. I never really got the whole 'opposites' concept before. You know looking at your defects and doing the opposite. Resentful = every time I feel it work on forgiveness. Bitter and intolerant = work on being tolerant and again forgiveness. At this moment my...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I spoke with my sponsor yesterday regarding a recent situation with my dad. In summary, my dad is in rehab and wants to come home for the weekend. Noone will pick him up. In frustration, I shouted 'who cares if you come home?' and he h...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

I moved 300 miles away from my alcoholic mum & she's just got back from a week in benidorm with her friend and she's in bed with the flu. For some reason i started panicking thinking she's going to die so i rang the doctors crying and the doctor said she would ring my mum and point her in the direction of a...

joker · joker

Now that I am away from the active alcoholic in my life, he is in jail for abusing me, and I have freedom to be me and no longer have to walk on egg shells, I noticed that I like to tell people what to do. Example of what I mean is I will inquire into thier lives," how are things going" and they may tel...

mongowal · mongowal

I've posted before that my AH left 3 weeks ago because he said he realized he was severely depressed and couldn't stand to hurt me anymore. He has little contact with me except with a few text messages that have to with cars and when my daughter needs to be picked up. At first he avoided coming to the ho...

abbyalana · abbyalana

Do some alcoholics not hit a rock bottom? My therapist said that to me the other day. My therapist has been doing this kind of therapy (addicts, couples, family members of...) for years and I have to assume that on some level he's right - some addicts don't hit rock bottom. He'd have thought that my ex w...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Went to doctor yesterday--nodule in my left breast he said. Mammogram next week I think. Pain is still lurking in my back & leg--going to chiropractor today. I am anxious but in OK spirits. I am not going to lose my serenity over this even if sometimes I want to throw things & scream out loud! Sin...

Bettina · Bettina

"Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him." Unk -- Edited by Bettina on Thursday 17th of October 2013 07:48:43 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Detach and meeting questoin (Preview) Hi all - I hope everyone is happy today!I am doing pretty good with a lot of things, BUT the detaching part, holy cow. How in the heck did you all learn this? I can detach, but it is effecting my feelings big time, sex drive, everything. I am still reading my material, getting therapy and learning but ho...	Iwantthingsback	7	356	Oct 25, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	I've finally put a blocker application on my phone (Preview) So I finally managed to work out how to block calls and texts from my Alcoholic mum. The final straw was when she said she had the flu and was in bed, she said the doctor had taken blood but she wasn't sure why. My mum is late stages alcoholic liver disease but still drinking. I went into a state of panic and ra...	qwerty49	3	446	Oct 25, 2013 by maryjane
	Does it ever leave you? (Preview) Does the pain of loving someone addicted to alcohol ever leave you? My husband of nearly 40 years died in August 2011. Although I was sad, I have to admit it was also a relief. To say he had put me and our two children through hell is an understatement. 2 and a bit years later everyone assumes you must be OK - t...	Tattyhead	10	531	Oct 25, 2013 by Tattyhead
	along w/the craziness comes this very funny experience (Preview) This week was a test on my aversion to CHANGE... electric company was trying to force me into renewing with them at higher rate, using pressure.."sign up now or you may pay more" AND they wanted me to change contract b4 my old expired to "lock me in" at the higher rate........wen...	neshema2	4	387	Oct 25, 2013 by PP
	Bringing my issues to a new relationship (Preview) Starting a new and promising relationship with a non-alcoholic. Wonderful man that I am really enjoying getting to know. He is kind, supportive, funny and very sweet. Someone that I really enjoy spending time with. I am seeing my insecurities from past relationship with my ex alcoholic husban...	cinders	5	498	Oct 25, 2013 by cinders
	I am running out of sweetness with people not really working a program (Preview) I know I had my slumps and slips, but I have grown and have seen so many people grow and make some really great strides so I know it can be done. I have also seen and heard and heard and heard the other side of that in meetings, here and in life and I am running out being able to hear people complain about the e...	Breakingfree	16	575	Oct 25, 2013 by Zabi
	The sad reality... (Preview) I was talking with my dad and brother yesterday and we got to discussing how my AM is sick again this year. .she's had a cold, an asthmatic episode, and she's still depressed. She tells me often that she's tired of being sick...it's no wonder that in the last few years she's had her knee replacement surge...	phoenixmagicgirl	3	500	Oct 24, 2013 by pinkchip
	Mounting panic and anxiety - wanting to talk to my exBF AH anxiety lonely (Preview) I have a few years of anger and fear stored inside my body from living with the A for years. He was my family and my everything, like chronic misery of the mind and body. Then there was a death in my family this year, and when I came back to town the A had been drinking a lot while I was gone, and I was grieving,...	abell	4	410	Oct 24, 2013 by oldergal
	Re: note about trip--12 days ago! (Preview) I did go on the trip wth my girlfrind and 2 of her friends, we had a wonderful time. I did learn learn a lot about comparing, I learned one of the ladies (the main bragger) deceased husband was an alcoholic, her daugter who happened to join us at the resort with her husband is an alcoholic, not active due to...	Highlyfavored	3	248	Oct 24, 2013 by grateful2be
	Messing up (Preview) I'm screwing up and I don't know why. Yes there is stress at home. And yes he is an alcoholic. But none of that excuses me from bad behavior. I said some awful things to my husband a few days ago. Everything was fine. We were getting along great. Having an evening in together. Completely out of nowhere I got...	Bobbi	7	454	Oct 24, 2013 by bud
	Sharing - hope it helps (Preview) So, I had my on therapy apt last night (keep in mind this is or couple therapist as well and 25 yrs drug and alcohol therapist too) there are rules to doing this but he will see us one on one if we request this and both of us are ok with this. Anyway, we talked last night about how frustrated I get because he isnt...	Iwantthingsback	5	335	Oct 24, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	This is coming to a sit down/family meeting with my AM this weekend.... (Preview) For the last two weeks my AM has done this daily: wake up, watch TV, read, talk on the phone, get drunk and go to bed... we (myself, my brother and my dad especially) are getting tired of it. It's at the point now where she doesn't eat dinner much less make it! I don't know if this is ironic or not but incidentl...	phoenixmagicgirl	5	278	Oct 24, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Went a self help group (Preview) I'm so upset for my A attitude this evening . I went out of my house for first time with a new attitude not to think of what will happen when I got home . I didn't want to think about how I'm gonna handle this childish behavior of my A . I have done nothing wrong I took his advise and went out and if he had a proble...	Ms co-dependent	8	523	Oct 24, 2013 by neshema2
	Do I open that can of worms? (Preview) My place of work has cracked down on my ability to pick up extra classes for money...to make ends meet. My exA has given about $200 to me for support in 3 years (he did buy a car for his son, and a tv -- this with my retirement money from the divorce -- but he spent that 50K right away). He does not work, and tells...	rehprof	9	456	Oct 24, 2013 by PP
	Morning prayer (Preview) Morning prayer a daily reader anything from recovery suggestions is really important for me in the morning because for what ever reason ivery rarely wake up with positive thinking. When I reflect back it has definitely improved through awareness and doing something about it . Very grateful for a...	Zabi	2	524	Oct 24, 2013 by PP
	Posting thing like this for the hope it will help someone.. ya never know (Preview) Another approved reading last night in therapy. I say approved because it has taken me almost a year speak to my dry A where it doesnt cause a fight , gets my point across and for positive things to come out of it. More importantly makes me feel better. I used to be all over the place with my talks and by w...	Iwantthingsback	6	659	Oct 24, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	filling tjhe hole (Preview) Hi all, I came on here yesterday and again it has sparked an enlightenment in my recovery. My a is sober and in AA and it a lot better today although he is running to work etc ( not working his recovery the way i want him to ha ha ). I realised yesterday after reading on here that I am still wanting him to fill the...	Tracy	2	176	Oct 24, 2013 by hotrod
	Resentment (Preview) I have been trying to let go of resentments for the last ten years they cause me to feel frustrated crazy and alone. It's like playing a tape over and over again so I can feel hurt, rejected and ashamed, inferior all over again. The steps suggest praying for the person and wishing them well.	Sab I	3	326	Oct 24, 2013 by neshema2
	using the program...it works! (Preview) So I am going to get my mammogram today finally. It is not what I really want to do but in order to find out good or bad what is wrong I have to do it. The program is working but I tend to look into the future. It sucks that I have to get this done because as I look ahead I feel that my surgery 3 years ago may be reverse...	Hoot Nanny	2	340	Oct 24, 2013 by stilllearning
	Afraid to speak at meetings (Preview) I have been going to face to face meetings for about 3 months now consistantly. I am so afraid to speak at the meetings, it is even hard for me to say my name when we are all introducing ourselves. I dont know why I am so afraid. I get so mad at myself after the meetings (i basically bolt out as soon as its ove...	dragonflys	8	762	Oct 23, 2013 by Sab I
	more crazy making (Preview) Tonight my Mom called to let me know that my Dad is in the hospital from another stroke. I thanked her for the information and asked if she needed anything and she said no and we said good bye. I called my Dad in the intensive care unit and, thankfully, he is going to be ok. My Mom had put a moratorium on my vi...	bud	11	539	Oct 23, 2013 by Peggy7
	Food for thought and thought and thought :) (Preview) Remember when setting your boundaries, make them realistic, one you can and will stick to without hurting your sanity. Your "A" will most likely test these boundaries so be ready to show they are real. Mine tested my first boundary.. about three times he gave up (and boundary is workin...	Iwantthingsback	2	276	Oct 23, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	questions about dating (Preview) I have stepped out into the dating field and I wonder if I am ready. I have met two men off a dating site and by the 2nd date all I have lost all intrest in them. I see red flags everywhere. Either they have bagage from their past they have not dealt with or they are intrested in one thing only..and I find tha...	joker	12	610	Oct 23, 2013 by milkwood
	Good way to start out the day. (Preview) I read an quote this morning and thought it was so fitting for the Al-Anon program: People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If your are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you f...	mongowal	5	290	Oct 23, 2013 by milkwood
	It's gone past our house.... (Preview) and moved on to others in the family. My eldest son has relapsed...his church program stopped working and he has flushed his life down the toilet. My daughter in law was visiting while I was a way from the house and my wife got the current story...you all know what insanity sounds like and looks like...	Jerry F	17	620	Oct 23, 2013 by tiredtonite
	a different kind of A (Preview) Seems like most of the A s I read about on here are causing trouble of some sort all the time, ect,ect. My AH is a different kind. He never missed a day of work in 40 years, never got arrested, doesn't yell or do any of that. Just the opposite, he reads, watches tv, gardens, fishes, golfs. All the while drinki...	islandtime	7	364	Oct 23, 2013 by maryjane
	Read it! :) (Preview) On page of 125 with courage to change, not an easy read for me and I dont really care for it.. This may or not be the best thing, switching gears, but I put down that book and started Getting them sober. What an awesome awesome book. Only on page 100 but brilliant! I will have to get back to courage to chang...	Iwantthingsback	9	452	Oct 23, 2013 by maryjane
	Update (Preview) So my daughter's wedding went well. Her twin sister, my AD, ended up showing up to the wedding at the last minute after saying she wasn't going to attend. I'm glad that I didn't get in the middle of things and let my HP do His work. She was emotional at the ceremony, but we were all glad that she chose to atten...	Green Eyes	5	297	Oct 23, 2013 by hotrod
	Al-ANON vs NA ? (Preview) I am not sure I am in the right place.. as I read through the posts I only see alcohol related posts. My wife is a subscription drug abuser is there a difference, does it matter? I need help.	Simba	16	1124	Oct 23, 2013 by mtnest57
	Strengths of Adult Children of Alcoholics (Preview) Your participation in a research study on the strengths of ACOA (Age 18-25) would be appreciated. Please click link below to complete the online questionnaires. http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/1405420/Dissertation I would also love to go over your results of this study once I have complete...	jmn_1395	0	503	Oct 22, 2013 by jmn_1395
	New Marriage, Dry Drunk, How Al-Anon Works (Preview) Hi everyone, I really benefited from this chains of honest and supportive posts. I got married 6 weeks ago to an alcoholic with 20+ years of solid AA recovery & sobriety. My husband is usually a wise, patient, supportive man. For the past week, he has been irascible, tired, stressed, and seeing so...	Iamgood	12	578	Oct 22, 2013 by Iamgood
	What's in it for me? (Preview) Hmm. So about a year ago I learned a little bit (just the top of the iceberg really) about not enabling an addict. And how this could make them wake up and get it together. So I set about not enabling and I got pretty good at it. Goodbye bowing, scraping, resentful abused little doormat, hello "Oh, yo...	Melly1248	17	642	Oct 22, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	no time (Preview) OK so I am struggling w/ my pain still. I can't seem to get comfortable so I don't have a lot of time to post these days between the pain & being uncomfortable. I hope I am not being redundant. I feel sometimes that when I feel physical pain, I struggle w/ mental issues. So, I am not going to probably get t...	Hoot Nanny	4	412	Oct 22, 2013 by PP
	Finally time to rest (Preview) I see my my unhealthy ways more today because I'm in myself today and see how easy it has taken control over my daily routine . Why I have this need to know thing going on . It's so hard to live in the moment when you been always told to look a head . I finally see my parent who have past on and I love so much , even t...	Ms co-dependent	3	328	Oct 22, 2013 by PP
	Bored and boring (Preview) Things have been going ok with my AH. I made a previous post about how I was worried that he slept so much, then figured out I was bored. This is still an issue with us. For the past 3 weekends all he's done is sleep 'til noon or one, then watch Nascar, then fall asleep watching the race and not wake up again...	SpiderArcana	7	467	Oct 22, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	please read and follow with ideas/advice/opinions (Preview) I posted awhile back how I could see my AH brewing a storm in his world.. well it brewed and brewed and I did well. he could not get me to be in his storm. WELL, friday he took our son hunting (he got out of school early) and I ws working. He packed water and gatorades, he knows I have NO tolerance for drinking an...	sweeetr	7	472	Oct 22, 2013 by Debilyn
	Acknowledging my sponsor's wisdom (Preview) Somehow in the course of detaching from my AH with love, I did more detaching and less loving. We're both in recovery and he continues to struggle with the damage I did, pre-program, in the months after his bottom. He feels little trust, love, and security in our relationship and I own my part in that. I k...	Jessamine	3	385	Oct 22, 2013 by Jerry F
	Starting a new meeting... (Preview) has always been a process of touch and go and so it was today as a new meeting was started in the office spaces of a local rehab. Got the usual couple who thought they "had" to be there and came in with justifications on why they felt "tricked or manipulated" into it...let them go...	Jerry F	7	557	Oct 22, 2013 by Tasha
	I'm feeling Guilty (Preview) I feel guilty because I think I'm doing wrong and the quilt is telling you all what I'm going to do. I think I am going to let people down here on MIP. My son called and I answered. He is getting out of rehab Thursday morning and I will be the one picking him up and taking him to the sober living place he is tra...	Cathyinaz	21	815	Oct 22, 2013 by Tasha
	I had to break up with him. It was making me sicker. (Preview) I broke up with my boyfriend. His using just got so out of hand. Just as I thought, he completely flipped out and is now writing about it all over Facebook trying to make me look like a heartless b*** for dumping him on Sweetest Day. =( I had no idea it was Sweetest Day or I would have waited to do it on Monday o...	bijela	6	353	Oct 22, 2013 by neshema2
	Accepting seperation and trying to understand (Preview) It has been 5-weeks now since the reality of getting separated hit home and I started back in AA fulltime and not part time. My focus has been on step 2 & 3 and it is really helping me deal with the highs and lows. And since returning I have realized what good was started, started to slip due to not focus...	gofred123	5	344	Oct 22, 2013 by abbyal
	Belonging (Preview) I'm trying to come to terms with having outgrown my workplace. I can see our culture has changed so much. This change in culture is a direct result of a change in management. I've stayed true to myself as much as humanly possible and the result is that I no longer fit there. Coworkers who are feeling t...	tiredtonite	6	464	Oct 22, 2013 by tiredtonite
	what to do.. what to do (Preview) the never ending question.. I accept my AH is in denial and isnt going to change (stinks but its true) I educate myself and try to educate my lil boy on safety (even escape plans) and not going down the alcoholic toilet as he grows up with an alcoholic dad. I teach my son to talk about his feelings abou...	sweeetr	3	499	Oct 22, 2013 by bud
	please. i can't stop crying.... need esh... (Preview) hi all...boy have i ever back-slidden in my program. today i went off on my AS! i try so hard to stay on my side of the street but just lost it with him. he is very sick in his illness and refuses help. doesn't pay child support. relies on my parents to take care of him financially. usually i do okay with...	debhud	10	601	Oct 21, 2013 by neshema2
	Full Moon Fun and Games (Preview) Call me crazy, but full moon for me means Batten Down the Hatches; it's gonna get rough. The A is angry, for no discernable reason and drinking. He mentioned going to visit his mum tomorrow (that's a 4 hour drive) and I said- nicely- you can't drive my car there if you stay up all night drinking. And I asked...	Melly1248	26	757	Oct 21, 2013 by hotrod
	Letter to my kids (Preview) I wrote this to my kids tonight, not with the intention to give it, only to see how it would feel writing it.... Earlier this year your dad made choices that were extremely painful for me and for us. The many months prior to that he was doing things and acting in a way that caused our home life to feel bad. B...	Yogi71	15	589	Oct 21, 2013 by grateful2be
	Comments please !!! Why does (Preview) I'm outrage with the A lack of responsibility . Please tell me when does the A stop thinking about himself and the drink?? When my A was drinking I was left home to care for the children I was both parents he was the absentee . I had a problem this morning and again I take my part of the blame I own my own mouth so...	Ms co-dependent	5	456	Oct 21, 2013 by Aloha
	I knew that this was going to end badly... (Preview) My exboyfriend's drunken crazy cow sister has been harassing me on Facebook, so I blocked her. I sure hope that she won't start texting and calling me because I really don't want to have to change my phone number and screw up my business dealings by having to get all new business cards and contact everyo...	bijela	7	432	Oct 21, 2013 by neshema2
	Regarding "i can't stop crying...." THANK YOU EVERYONE! (Preview) well i spouted off to my son...and i was so upset. but yes, today i feel good. (almost feel guilty for admitting that) i don't have anxiety. i don't have a lump in my throat. and i am not crying. after reading all of your responses i came to realize....it's ok. for many years i have "kept my cool&...	debhud	2	278	Oct 21, 2013 by Jerry F
	amazing experience (Preview) On Thurs. night my A arrived home so drunk, slurring her words, and barely able to keep her balance to walk. I asked her how she drove home and she didn't know. The realizations hit me: she is completely self-destructive still, she is unable to care how far back she sets our marriage, and the worst pos...	Lyne	4	342	Oct 21, 2013 by Jerry F
	Introduce myself (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here and trying to deal with my AH. He just started going to meetings this week. I haven't been to Al Anon yet. We have two kids and it's hard for me to find time.	LastChanceOnceAgain	7	624	Oct 21, 2013 by neshema2
	How to apply tools to children (Preview) Hello I been really working hard on my changing my little ways . One is QTIP and not assuming and not jumping ahead of myself . I don't think I need to know what's gonna happen tomorrow . Why ? That would only give me enough time to find fault with something that might not happen and why lose sleep over it. I be...	Ms co-dependent	3	327	Oct 20, 2013 by abbyal
	Opposites (Preview) I'm just getting many parts of this program. I never really got the whole 'opposites' concept before. You know looking at your defects and doing the opposite. Resentful = every time I feel it work on forgiveness. Bitter and intolerant = work on being tolerant and again forgiveness. At this moment my...	el-cee	7	281	Oct 20, 2013 by grateful2be
	Is the serenity prayer over-rated? (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I spoke with my sponsor yesterday regarding a recent situation with my dad. In summary, my dad is in rehab and wants to come home for the weekend. Noone will pick him up. In frustration, I shouted 'who cares if you come home?' and he h...	slogan_jim	17	894	Oct 20, 2013 by maryjane
	Guilty feelings overwhelming (Preview) I moved 300 miles away from my alcoholic mum & she's just got back from a week in benidorm with her friend and she's in bed with the flu. For some reason i started panicking thinking she's going to die so i rang the doctors crying and the doctor said she would ring my mum and point her in the direction of a...	qwerty49	13	507	Oct 20, 2013 by maryjane
	Telling people what to do (Preview) Now that I am away from the active alcoholic in my life, he is in jail for abusing me, and I have freedom to be me and no longer have to walk on egg shells, I noticed that I like to tell people what to do. Example of what I mean is I will inquire into thier lives," how are things going" and they may tel...	joker	13	494	Oct 20, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Hurt (Preview) I've posted before that my AH left 3 weeks ago because he said he realized he was severely depressed and couldn't stand to hurt me anymore. He has little contact with me except with a few text messages that have to with cars and when my daughter needs to be picked up. At first he avoided coming to the ho...	mongowal	13	437	Oct 20, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Rock bottom (Preview) Do some alcoholics not hit a rock bottom? My therapist said that to me the other day. My therapist has been doing this kind of therapy (addicts, couples, family members of...) for years and I have to assume that on some level he's right - some addicts don't hit rock bottom. He'd have thought that my ex w...	abbyalana	10	473	Oct 20, 2013 by Tattyhead
	pain still but some relief to come...(real quick) (Preview) Went to doctor yesterday--nodule in my left breast he said. Mammogram next week I think. Pain is still lurking in my back & leg--going to chiropractor today. I am anxious but in OK spirits. I am not going to lose my serenity over this even if sometimes I want to throw things & scream out loud! Sin...	Hoot Nanny	4	293	Oct 19, 2013 by Tattyhead
	Profound advice (Preview) "Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him." Unk -- Edited by Bettina on Thursday 17th of October 2013 07:48:43 PM	Bettina	4	352	Oct 19, 2013 by Melly1248
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