The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When we were in Therapy I stated this, sometimes it is better to talk there LOL Our Therapist pulled me aside after and said "Well done" good wording. I mean every word and he knows it. And I don't have a desire to stay if he chooses not to go back to meetings and work his part like he used to. I left a husband of 10 yrs, I have a good job, life in check, bills paid and I was single for 6 yrs before Tom so I can totally be alone. That is a great feeling I know so many who cannot be alone for whatever reason. I am staying for now because I do love him and we do have a great thing, but in no means do I need him or want to be with someone who doesn't want to get better. We all have our breaking point and boundaries. I have not decided for myself when enough is enough or a time line yet, but I will figure that out as I go along...... Just sharing this being it went well and he pulled out all his material last night and is going to a meeting tonight. Not sure if he will stick with it, but one day at a time right :)
Tom, I am going to find a meeting after work or on a Sat or Sun morning if I have to but I will be going to meetings. I have started courage to let go, books to follow is codependency and getting them sober.I also printed what material I can from Al Anon site, and will get a beginner pack when I go to a meeting that I hear will be helpful to me. I putting effort into this for myself and our future. I am still learning and will continue to learn the illness, get recovery for myself and get the support I need so I can cope and deal with this. I choose to stay with the understanding that I am fully expecting you will take this just as serious get help and get better as well. By me doing all of this is not giving you permission to continue this way. Nor am I telling you that I am accepting the fact you are not dealing youre your addiction. I am proud of you for not picking up a drink but I do not want to forever live like this.You admit you have been dealing with dry drunk and it is up to you if you choose to get better or not.You know what I am expecting and you know I dont want to live like this so for now I will work my program and do what I have to do for myself and I will have faith that you do what is right for you and for us.
And One boundary I communicated and that I stick with.I slipped a couple times but caught myself quickly.
I will not engage when the dry drunk is talking in a negative way, starting fights or anything unhealthy. I will simply ignore it or walk away.And not that you would but if you continue to push I will leave the house and go for a walk or the store. But I will not engage or support this behavior.
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Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.
Good positive steps!! We all have to start somewhere when things get bad. I like your solutions to walk away and to hit more meeting and new information has always helped me in troubled times... your inspiring me to do the same :) Thanks for you honesty and i am wishing much hope and peace in your life.
Wow, im impressed, that is a great way to validate your feelings and set a healthy boundary. You are certainly committed to your recovery and I can see your determination. Keep coming back and sharing because you will be helping others also.x
Thanks LC - once I decide something there is no stopping me and I usually give 150% :) Passionate abut everything I do... It is the Italian and Greek in me LOL.
But sometimes it does take me a little time........ you know..... Ya know what you have to do but you are too tired, not enough time, it makes you feel sad, too much work and effort and all that good stuff. I am trying to incorporate all I have been through in past and have learned with all this knew stuff (knowledge and experience) and go from there.
And you all have helped light that fire. I might not always have positive posts but when I do I would love to share and help others!!!!! I always want to help others.
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Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.
