The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I must say today is a day I did some back track and read all my posts . I can't believe how much I wasted all my time talking about the DRINK . Why did I ? Why did I do what it wanted me to do. I don't drink I don't have a problem . The only problem I know I have is my sick co dependent ways and I take the blame for that. No one told me to told me to do the things I did as a co dependent I did all . I take full blame for my actions . Alaon is for co dependents that's me that my program this is my time to heal and share my total awareness I have ,but always cut myself short on that . Just because I chose to do extra for ppl then I should is my my defect , falling in a trap of being used for other ppl problem letting ppl like the DRINK convince me that I drI've them there to the bar , I drI've them they to make bad choices . Today I see that this side of the street is for me only , my healing and me learning how to deal on life's terms and to stop taking the dam QTIP way out. I will always be a co dependent but it depends now how far I will let it control me and no I have the choice to do a good deed if I want and if I do then don't regret it later and dwell on it . It was my choice no one else's . Just like the alcoholic I didn't make him drink , I didn't provide the drink for him and I didn't force it down his throat and make him what he is today . That was his choice , why did I feel the need to take on such a burden of guilt for something I didnt cause It and I have no idea how to cure it and I have only me to change . So hope this all makes sense , I guess what I'm saying that today is about me my time to shine and be selfish and take care of me I'm no ones burden or problem or any one fix . This is for my own self awareness of alcoholic .
I like to remove the word "should" and see how this changes my perspective. I have trained myself to respond to "shoulds" by asking why this expectation- where did the "should" originally come from?
"why did I feel the need to take on such a burden of guilt for something I didnt cause .." spot on, Ms co-dependent! Some people are only to glad to have a place to dump their stuff, others will gladly hand it over to a willing taker, then there are those times when I used to just volunteer or beg to take someone's burdens and carry them around... I astound myself when I am aware of all the things that I have volunteered... I love that I have choices and choose to practice awareness so I can separate what is mine and what isn't and not take on and carry some one else's burden.
You make perfect sense my dear. You are taking care of you and taking it one day at a time. OH and it gets better and better everyday you practice, practice practice.
Good job!!
(((( hugs ))))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Your awareness and acceptance of the reality in which we all live is powerful. We must focus on ourselves, and love ourselves so that we can then share that love with others
I hear you courage and wisdom shining through this post. Wonderful message
Went to a meeting last night face to face is so much better then texting . At least I took the time to get dressed and fixed myself up to look good about myself . After all it's about us how we feel and plus how we appear . I can say for myself if I'm going to a meeting and I don't dress up do my hair or put make up on I know I feel like I look . Sick . I have had a lot of ppl question me about my appearance , you where that to a Alaon meeting or are you going out afterwards ? I say no . My cloths I wear are nothing special yes I stand out , that's only because some of the meeting I been to every one looks so down and depressed . My own opion is that if we come first then it's about us getting healthy then we should try to Look the part . I know when I started Alaon ppl dressed casual and I showed up in pj and tissue and the finger to blame all for my problems . I find that when I fix myself up and look nice to go to a meeting shows that I'm there for me. I been to very unhealthy groups and boy it makes me not want to go back . I guess what I'm saying it's all about presentation if you attend a meeting where people are dressed casual and look healthy it gives you a positive feeling . I don't know I think it's just me seeing the difference between a healthy group and one that is very unhappy . I know Alaon is not about who dressed better but it shows how healthy you are by the way you present your self . That being my own observation . Just looking for a way to make Alaon a little more motivated for new ppl who walk in and see the group . I'm ready for every ones take on this .
i believe that alanon is a spiritual program and as such is a "Come as you are program" I do agree that dressing for a meeting and presenting your self as healthy is great for our own self esteem and after all that is most important.
I am glad you feel better and dress the part. Keep on taking care of you
Thank you again it's just something I see I guess I see a lot of stuff I missed and trying to catch up to speed. I have other concerns right now posted on different topics I could use your strong advise please
Well I must say today is a day I did some back track and read all my posts . I can't believe how much I wasted all my time talking about the DRINK . Why did I ? Why did I do what it wanted me to do. I don't drink I don't have a problem . The only problem I know I have is my sick co dependent ways and I take the blame for that. No one told me to told me to do the things I did as a co dependent I did all . I take full blame for my actions . Alaon is for co dependents that's me that my program this is my time to heal and share my total awareness I have ,but always cut myself short on that . Just because I chose to do extra for ppl then I should is my my defect , falling in a trap of being used for other ppl problem letting ppl like the DRINK convince me that I drI've them there to the bar , I drI've them they to make bad choices . Today I see that this side of the street is for me only , my healing and me learning how to deal on life's terms and to stop taking the dam QTIP way out. I will always be a co dependent but it depends now how far I will let it control me and no I have the choice to do a good deed if I want and if I do then don't regret it later and dwell on it . It was my choice no one else's . Just like the alcoholic I didn't make him drink , I didn't provide the drink for him and I didn't force it down his throat and make him what he is today . That was his choice , why did I feel the need to take on such a burden of guilt for something I didnt cause It and I have no idea how to cure it and I have only me to change . So hope this all makes sense , I guess what I'm saying that today is about me my time to shine and be selfish and take care of me I'm no ones burden or problem or any one fix . This is for my own self awareness of alcoholic .