Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I just returned from a nine day stay in Texas. I was there for Thanksgiving to visit my daughter and her family, and also to help my son-in-law take care of their two toddler-aged sons (my grandsons) while my daughter attended a four day conference out of state. I was so glad to have to my able to grab my &qu...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

It seems like there's always one slogan or tool that makes itself available when things are getting rough. Sometimes it just takes a while for me to see it. Since our "wonderful chat", ABF has been awful. No surprise there; he was on a high at the time full of big plans and pipe dreams and beer....

John · John

I posted earlier about Dec 6th being my birthday, well it is! Problem is, I completely missed acknowledging a year! I'm 55, not 54! (Dec 6th 1958) My sister says that during the first year of being separated from my ex, I was so emotionally sick, and didn't do anything that would have created any memo...

Naydel · Naydel

Hello. My name is Renee and I am codependent. Tonight I attended my first al anon meeting after much urging by alcoholic husband's counselors. Listening to all that they talked about the term codependent was sort of thrown around freely and it stuck with me. Really not understanding exactly how that...

stilllearning · stilllearning

Hello all, I'm trying to be mindful... be present.. and it hurts.. I just had to put an old friend down(13year old black lab) because his health was failing him and strangely enough I had to put his brother down (because of different health issues) a month ago.. Pretty weird... all these years togeth...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I thought I should say hello. I have been lurking around the board for a few weeks now and responding to posts here and there. I don't recognize a lot of names. It's good to see all the new family members have found their way to us. I also so a few names that I remember from when I was more active on the bo...

mm830 · mm830

Hi Everyone. I could use a little help understanding how to stay on my own side of the road, really struggling with what I think the A should and should not do, his mother completely enabling as in paying for a thousand dollar car repair this week then he is calling me for help with a utility bill, I want to p...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good evening everyone After my meltdown last weekend and telling my SO I'm DONE and I will be moving out, he freaked. He asked if we could at least try doing just one thing together on the weekend so we don't isolate each other. I agreed. Today I got up and asked..OK....I am going out are you going. He sa...

Lyne · Lyne

Today I must work at my mom's (she is 90) house, with my brother, and her live in companion is an active alcoholic. As a result he is angry all the time, unreasonable, stubborn, a real drag to deal with. I feel steady as I face this task. I think I will be reciting many slogans and using the Serenity Praye...

abbyal · abbyal

Yagottawanna - go to that first meeting as a step out of the pit of despair. Yagottawanna -go to meeting after meeting if you desire progress. Yagottawanna -Listen when you get there. Yagottawanna - Do what it says to do . Yagottawanna- Work the twelve steps , not merely analyze them. The progra...

decgirl1973 · decgirl1973

I've been lurking on here for a few days. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic who's been sober for 6 years. Al anon has been recommended to me several times but I always felt like I couldn't devote any more of my physical or emotional energy to "His" disease. I still have so much resentme...

John · John

Yes, today is my birthday. Thank you everyone who sent me happy birthday wishes on FB. Wow... 54 yrs old. There was a time in my life that I did not believe I would live past my 30's. Life has had its up's and down's, its good's and bad's, its joy and it's pain's.. but I wouldn't want to trade my life for any on...

abbyal · abbyal

As I try to live the Al-Anon program each day , I find myself with the right to and responsibility for a new set of values and attitudes , I still have the right to become upset but I find that I also have the responsibility to turn away from anger. I have the right to be supportive of others but the resp...

oldergal · oldergal

I am still here, although I am pretty messed up. The more you help me the lower my bottom has too be. I am smart, but effected by this disease, I feel like I am in hell when I try to come back to life. My brain has been altered so much that it doesn't function very good anymore. My body is so addicted that all i...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

After my last post about the concerns I have regarding my husband's health, I realized something that made me really sad. We are probably not going to grow old together. We are probably not going to get to retire to Vancouver together. Some days i wonder if I'll be a widow by the time I'm 40. Despite t...

Gaby · Gaby

I know I have been told many times I need to work my program.. I agree very much I do.. I need to gain my sanity back and let go and move out if my sons way and pray for him.. Some say he has hope. He's been down this road before and he has the tools to not go back where he was. I wish so much I was working my program str...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, here I go: I haven't been able to post on here for about 2 weeks I think. Anyhow, I am doing OK but have had some difficult moments since the last time I posted. I had a somewhat crappy Thanksgiving. My husband didn't honor my wishes & cooked the entire meal w/o any help from me. Normally to everyone...

Gaby · Gaby

Well it's going on day 3 that I have not spoken to my son. Yes it hurts because even through the times he was using we were still close or I maybe have been just enabling him and comforting him an nourishing him.. I miss him and will always love him. Right now I am to fragile to even call him where he is staying a...

Gaby · Gaby

I called the sle place where my son is and the house parent said he was worried about him he did not sleep all night. I choked up. Because I already know certain signs. He said my son has not been there all day. I believe I need to stop checking on my son. I'm driving myself crazy. I know my som had no phone. Even...

el-cee · el-cee

While participating in the nightmare weekend but in a detached way. I found that I was working my program and I was doing fine but on no it wasn't to last. Im feeling that old familiar dis-ease and I'm trying to work out what is going on with me. It could be:Im denying my feelings about what happened to my so...

oldergal · oldergal

I already see posts about Christmas Holidays. The dread of it all! Please figure out what Christmas and New Years really means to you, and then keep it simple. More money spent doesn't make it better. It seems I see more unhappiness during the holidays than anything else. It's enough to have to deal wit...

Gaby · Gaby

Yesterday was very tough.. My son as you all know is living in an SLE place. Well he called me yesterday from a random number and said that someone stoled his phone. Well I know for a fact that's not true.. I checked it all out went to his place and truly called him his bullshit..

Milehi-tlc · Milehi-tlc

I can really tell when I've not been working the program as much as I should. The real the gift of alanon is that I can now see what works and what doesn't work In my life. I've been through huge challenges in the past year and with the support and fellowship of the program I've made it through the worst of...

Gaby · Gaby

I again did not go to work. This depression has kicked my a** all do to the fact that all I worry and fear about my son that at this time does not want to talk to me. It's really hurts but what can I do. I love him and really need to work my program. God bless.. -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 5th of December 2013 0...

milkwood · milkwood

I've been feeling a bit disconnected recently. We live in a beautiful part of Italy and there really isn't anything wrong with life at the moment but it is sometimes a bit lonely here so I find myself feeling listless and unmotivated. It will pass. So despite the fact that I might not be good company t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well. After over 2 weeks of hiding in his room, drinking, playing computer games, being a complete and utter A to me (interpret that how you will) and refusing to do anything about his job-situation, ABF's brother came to visit and managed to inspire him to come out of his room and rejoin the human race....

Jerry F · Jerry F

is making a decision. Aloha no family and this post is a response to some of the shares I've been reading this morning; the ones where the member speaks of deciding to take an action which may or may not be appropriate and/or work out positively...of course the oldtimers know that often times when oth...

Tigger · Tigger

Hi everyone, Following last nights business meeting, I thought it might useful to clarify OP staus. This is indicated by a gold symbol beside a person's name in the website chat room, or by a coloured icon in other chat programs. It is called OP "stautus" in computer chatroom terminolog...

el-cee · el-cee

My biggest fear as a Mother has just came true and believe it or not I am coping and coping quite well. My program has came to life for me in a different way entirely. My head has been filled with the 3c's, I have constantly said 'I am powerless' and Im here to tell you guys what I have been unable to say out loud...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Ok, I think I know the answer to this but I was looking for ESH here. My AH keeps talking about this daily bible devotional he wants to do with me. Talking about websites, should we do one for married people, what would I prefer, etc? Honestly, what I'd prefer is for him to move out. Just when I hit my wal...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I felt bad. I went to help. He lost keys phone can't get into his apt. Nobody to open the door. He has no where to go except with me. He has a open wound the size of a golf ball I'm crying right in front of him. I'm having a breakdown Please some esh. Using phone can't type on it. O god help me

Gaby · Gaby

I don't know why my post are double posting or does not allow me to finish.. So as I was saying I called him on his bullshit.. I had to go to a meeting and they allowed me to let it all out.. The last I told my son was I can not do this no more. I can't help him no more. I was done an I left. I love my son, but I am truly jus...

Katytexasmom · Katytexasmom

My sweet boy....I know that 'better' is temporary until you get some recovery, but when you tell me YOUR plans I just want to SMACK YOU!!!!!!! i have to laugh to keep from SCREAMING! My son informs me he is getting an apartment with his cousin, WORST person to be around! Neither of them have a car, a JOB,...

rehprof · rehprof

I can feel the big ol' weight of depression creeping up on me...I'm feeling overwhelmed by end of semester demands, endless minor details and paperwork, housework and oh, yah Christmas. I know I SHOULD be excited about Xmas...and decorating...but it always seems like a lot of mess and nonsense for...

abbyalana · abbyalana

Now that the exAH is out of my life...I finally get to see through the fog and begin working on ME! I'm not suggesting that prior to the divorce I didn't have my own issues, it's just very difficult to see them and work on them when the world is revolving around the alcoholic and you are very isolated from a...

HisMrsWright · HisMrsWright

Today is the day. The day I was "supposed" to file a divorce. I failed once again. I can't do it. I keep telling myself it's because I can't get him served but I know it's a lie. I have set at least one boundary I won't go back on. I won't let him come home until he goes to a real rehab. He hasn't asked t...

Gaby · Gaby

So fustrated at myself.. I love my son.. I truly feel like I may have abandoned him but truly I had to change things up. I needed to stick with my rental agreement.. There are consequences in life and I feel that he needs to pay them. I love him but I've done all I can do.. Now it's all up to him. And i will pray!!...

Not Alone · Not Alone

Well here I am again - I shouldn't have left really as I always found comfort in these boards. So much has happened since my last posts. Seems the last time I was on I had asked him to leave and he did. Not long after he left I found out I was pregnant. Yowza! He was out of the house for a while returning eventual...

Gaby · Gaby

I helped my son move into an SLE.. I give him to god.. I've done absolutely all I can do. I love him and care for him, but I had to stand my ground on having him out of my home. I can only pray. He is not far from home, or anything else and SLE.. It is not a recovery program. But if he truly wants it he would go to any ex...

Gaby · Gaby

So fustrated at myself.. I love my son.. I truly feel like I may have abandoned him but truly I had to change things up. I needed to stick with my rental agreement.. There are consequences in life and I feel that he needs to pay them. I love him but I've done all I can do.. Now it's all up to him. And i will pray!!...

DavidG · DavidG

I wanted to post this up... ... a song of love, it bought ears to my eyes... um... tears to my eyes... its sunday am here already... a neighbour lost his dog and came round to seek help... grandkids, 5 out of six will be filling the house and backyard in one hour... having some adult time... Sundays as a k...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I understand and accept that I have no control over my husband's drinking, but I think it's starting to seriously affect his health. The past several nights he's thrown up within a few minutes of eating. He thinks it's a stomach bug, but bugs don't last that long. I'd like him to go see the doc, but he d...

ALotToLearn · ALotToLearn

After 20+ years of having a sober father, I am now watching him slip into his old ways. Along with watching him slip I am watching my mom in turn to her old ways of enabling him. This time around, they are ultimately shutting me and my older siblings out. Most of our phone calls are not answered, excuses are...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Good afternoon every one , we have another crisis here at home . And I'm one of those uncertainly what this is caused bye . Me and my husband sorted out our Boundarys we stay away from the topics that would bring us to the ring . I have my skills up to date he good on his end , but now the children are back at it aga...

marmoset · marmoset

As all of us do, I have a long story. My life has taken me to a place where I am not entirely sure what to do. To sum up, I am deeply involved with an alcoholic who is beginning recovery, but I am not his wife. He already has one. I am a 41YO woman. For almost 3 years I have been in a relationship with a man, an old fr...

Minibee · Minibee

I took the plunge and told my mum how I was feeling ( nervous on edge waiting for the criticism ... & after the usual initial response of well I just won't come and I'll keep my mouth shut like I normally do...) she told me the real reason. She feels it's all about me, I never contact her, do anything for h...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

to everyone that expressed concern and well-wishes over my no-refrigerator situation. Just a few days ago, my grandmother conveniently decided to upgrade to a new fridge, leaving her (perfectly good and relatively new) fridge free to a good home. She offered to buy me a new fridge several times and...

HisMrsWright · HisMrsWright

I'm laying in bed struggling with my thoughts. Why does this have to be so difficult? I am debating texting or calling a friend. Even my mom but my history is such a broken record. I don't want to be judged anymore. I do fairly decent during the day but when it's time for bed and I'm all alone, I fall apart. Wh...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: As ODAT suggested today I have been looking at the year in review, more accurately I have been re-reading posts that I have started and all of your responses as I have been making the journey, best I can, from sickness to healthy life. I needed reminders of how I got to where I am right now. M...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I was thinking about how very fearful I am about...well, almost everything that normal people take for granted. I know WHY, a combination of PTSD and also being told repeatedly as a child that I mustn't do anything or touch anything because it wasn't SAFE for me to do anything or touch anything; I'd bur...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Happiness is not pleasure. Happiness is victory. Zig Ziglar Big or small, our victories are our happiness. Each one shows us we can do what we set out to do. Each helps build confidence in our abilities and is a boon to our self-esteem. With each victory, we can be assured there will be another. An...

John · John

I mean no harm and do not wish to offend anyone who is non christian, but felt compiled to share this video to help get those who are christian move into the spirit of the forthcoming holidays.

HisMrsWright · HisMrsWright

I've had this forum saved on my phone for months. I've never known what to write and still don't honestly. First things first, my name is Michelle and my husband is an alcoholic. My story could go on for days and days just like any of you I'm sure. I'm 28 and he is 31. We've been married 2 1/2 years. We have a d...

gwyndalf · gwyndalf

My A has been in AA for 10 months and we are all very proud of him. We do try to give him support without babying or stepping on egg shells. This "me syndrome" is driving us all batty. The AA is still using "recovery" as an excuse as to why they are neglectful of household/personal...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

All I did was ask if he was ok. Apparently, that is a go for him going off about something and how I always put him in a spot, and how he's always wrong, blah blah blah. And he apologized, and he said he was going through some stuff, and then he went to go lie down in his room. Alrighty. Whatever babe. I'm g...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

so ive come on the board tonight feeling blah. its the fourth night this week my ah has been out. yeah, he calls but. . im alone again. my daughter asks where is daddy. . i tell her what i know. . hes with his buddies. its the first thing she asks whn we pull in the driveway and one of the last things she asks at be...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

G2B said:"Happiness is not pleasure. Happiness is victory. Zig ZiglarBig or small, our victories are our happiness. Each one shows us we can do what we set out to do. Each helps build confidence in our abilities and is a boon to our self-esteem. With each victory, we can be assured there wil...

1lostmom · 1lostmom

My mother is one of the most difficult people in the world that I have to deal with. I will deal with my alcoholic husband all day long over dealing with her, and she is one of the reasons why I continue to stay with him even in the most unhappiest of times- because I have nowhere to go except to her house and i...

Naydel · Naydel

My alcoholic husband is 2 weeks into detox/rehab and I'm doing everything I can to hold the hope that this will work. the concept that's this disease is not just his, but mine as well is new to me. I'm slow in learning to let go. I Can't control any of it. I scour the internet for any resources I can find. A ans...

Lyne · Lyne

Happy Turkey Day! I think I understand something about myself and detaching with love. I have wanted to do this with my A for the last few years. I was able to detach but without the love part. Now that I have a number of months in program, I am feeling better about myself. I think for the last couple we...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Practicing Step 12 (Preview) I just returned from a nine day stay in Texas. I was there for Thanksgiving to visit my daughter and her family, and also to help my son-in-law take care of their two toddler-aged sons (my grandsons) while my daughter attended a four day conference out of state. I was so glad to have to my able to grab my &qu...	Green Eyes	7	488	Dec 9, 2013 by Green Eyes
	Pick-a-slogan (Preview) It seems like there's always one slogan or tool that makes itself available when things are getting rough. Sometimes it just takes a while for me to see it. Since our "wonderful chat", ABF has been awful. No surprise there; he was on a high at the time full of big plans and pipe dreams and beer....	Melly1248	15	495	Dec 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	I discovered something yesterday.. my birthday! (Preview) I posted earlier about Dec 6th being my birthday, well it is! Problem is, I completely missed acknowledging a year! I'm 55, not 54! (Dec 6th 1958) My sister says that during the first year of being separated from my ex, I was so emotionally sick, and didn't do anything that would have created any memo...	John	7	259	Dec 8, 2013 by Peggy7
	Hello. My name is Renee and I am codependent. (Preview) Hello. My name is Renee and I am codependent. Tonight I attended my first al anon meeting after much urging by alcoholic husband's counselors. Listening to all that they talked about the term codependent was sort of thrown around freely and it stuck with me. Really not understanding exactly how that...	Naydel	11	3040	Dec 8, 2013 by Tricia911
	Grieving the loss of my two 13 year old black labs...:( (Preview) Hello all, I'm trying to be mindful... be present.. and it hurts.. I just had to put an old friend down(13year old black lab) because his health was failing him and strangely enough I had to put his brother down (because of different health issues) a month ago.. Pretty weird... all these years togeth...	stilllearning	13	620	Dec 8, 2013 by Peggy7
	Who's that lurking (Preview) Hi all, I thought I should say hello. I have been lurking around the board for a few weeks now and responding to posts here and there. I don't recognize a lot of names. It's good to see all the new family members have found their way to us. I also so a few names that I remember from when I was more active on the bo...	Mandy123	7	372	Dec 8, 2013 by Peggy7
	Staying on your side of the road - suggestions (Preview) Hi Everyone. I could use a little help understanding how to stay on my own side of the road, really struggling with what I think the A should and should not do, his mother completely enabling as in paying for a thousand dollar car repair this week then he is calling me for help with a utility bill, I want to p...	mm830	10	1085	Dec 8, 2013 by maryjane
	Good Day (Preview) Good evening everyone After my meltdown last weekend and telling my SO I'm DONE and I will be moving out, he freaked. He asked if we could at least try doing just one thing together on the weekend so we don't isolate each other. I agreed. Today I got up and asked..OK....I am going out are you going. He sa...	Cathyinaz	13	495	Dec 8, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	dealing with an active alcoholic today (Preview) Today I must work at my mom's (she is 90) house, with my brother, and her live in companion is an active alcoholic. As a result he is angry all the time, unreasonable, stubborn, a real drag to deal with. I feel steady as I face this task. I think I will be reciting many slogans and using the Serenity Praye...	Lyne	4	392	Dec 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	YAGOTTAWANNA (Preview) Yagottawanna - go to that first meeting as a step out of the pit of despair. Yagottawanna -go to meeting after meeting if you desire progress. Yagottawanna -Listen when you get there. Yagottawanna - Do what it says to do . Yagottawanna- Work the twelve steps , not merely analyze them. The progra...	abbyal	9	477	Dec 8, 2013 by neshema2
	Ready to find ME!! (Preview) I've been lurking on here for a few days. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic who's been sober for 6 years. Al anon has been recommended to me several times but I always felt like I couldn't devote any more of my physical or emotional energy to "His" disease. I still have so much resentme...	decgirl1973	7	420	Dec 7, 2013 by neshema2
	Today is my birthday... (Preview) Yes, today is my birthday. Thank you everyone who sent me happy birthday wishes on FB. Wow... 54 yrs old. There was a time in my life that I did not believe I would live past my 30's. Life has had its up's and down's, its good's and bad's, its joy and it's pain's.. but I wouldn't want to trade my life for any on...	John	16	568	Dec 7, 2013 by lgnutah
	A piece of literature from an old Forum magazine that helped me to become the person I wanted to be (Preview) As I try to live the Al-Anon program each day , I find myself with the right to and responsibility for a new set of values and attitudes , I still have the right to become upset but I find that I also have the responsibility to turn away from anger. I have the right to be supportive of others but the resp...	abbyal	8	302	Dec 7, 2013 by neshema2
	To Mom, From Your Son Who Loves You (Preview) I am still here, although I am pretty messed up. The more you help me the lower my bottom has too be. I am smart, but effected by this disease, I feel like I am in hell when I try to come back to life. My brain has been altered so much that it doesn't function very good anymore. My body is so addicted that all i...	oldergal	7	342	Dec 6, 2013 by PP
	A realization that set in to a bout of sadness (Preview) After my last post about the concerns I have regarding my husband's health, I realized something that made me really sad. We are probably not going to grow old together. We are probably not going to get to retire to Vancouver together. Some days i wonder if I'll be a widow by the time I'm 40. Despite t...	SpiderArcana	8	411	Dec 6, 2013 by bud
	Just need to vent.. (Preview) I know I have been told many times I need to work my program.. I agree very much I do.. I need to gain my sanity back and let go and move out if my sons way and pray for him.. Some say he has hope. He's been down this road before and he has the tools to not go back where he was. I wish so much I was working my program str...	Gaby	8	439	Dec 6, 2013 by bud
	I have been missing you all... (Preview) So, here I go: I haven't been able to post on here for about 2 weeks I think. Anyhow, I am doing OK but have had some difficult moments since the last time I posted. I had a somewhat crappy Thanksgiving. My husband didn't honor my wishes & cooked the entire meal w/o any help from me. Normally to everyone...	Hoot Nanny	3	333	Dec 6, 2013 by el-cee
	Prayed and Prayed.. For hope and faith !! (Preview) Well it's going on day 3 that I have not spoken to my son. Yes it hurts because even through the times he was using we were still close or I maybe have been just enabling him and comforting him an nourishing him.. I miss him and will always love him. Right now I am to fragile to even call him where he is staying a...	Gaby	2	322	Dec 5, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I really have to let things out here before I go crazy with all this pain.. (Preview) I called the sle place where my son is and the house parent said he was worried about him he did not sleep all night. I choked up. Because I already know certain signs. He said my son has not been there all day. I believe I need to stop checking on my son. I'm driving myself crazy. I know my som had no phone. Even...	Gaby	9	597	Dec 5, 2013 by el-cee
	Spoke too soon! (Preview) While participating in the nightmare weekend but in a detached way. I found that I was working my program and I was doing fine but on no it wasn't to last. Im feeling that old familiar dis-ease and I'm trying to work out what is going on with me. It could be:Im denying my feelings about what happened to my so...	el-cee	5	276	Dec 5, 2013 by el-cee
	KEEP IT SIMPLE (Preview) I already see posts about Christmas Holidays. The dread of it all! Please figure out what Christmas and New Years really means to you, and then keep it simple. More money spent doesn't make it better. It seems I see more unhappiness during the holidays than anything else. It's enough to have to deal wit...	oldergal	10	1008	Dec 5, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Went to a face to face meeting.. (Preview) Yesterday was very tough.. My son as you all know is living in an SLE place. Well he called me yesterday from a random number and said that someone stoled his phone. Well I know for a fact that's not true.. I checked it all out went to his place and truly called him his bullshit..	Gaby	3	239	Dec 5, 2013 by Tracy
	Focus and gratitude (Preview) I can really tell when I've not been working the program as much as I should. The real the gift of alanon is that I can now see what works and what doesn't work In my life. I've been through huge challenges in the past year and with the support and fellowship of the program I've made it through the worst of...	Milehi-tlc	3	354	Dec 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	Today was another tough day.. (Preview) I again did not go to work. This depression has kicked my a** all do to the fact that all I worry and fear about my son that at this time does not want to talk to me. It's really hurts but what can I do. I love him and really need to work my program. God bless.. -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 5th of December 2013 0...	Gaby	4	265	Dec 5, 2013 by milkwood
	Just saying hello (Preview) I've been feeling a bit disconnected recently. We live in a beautiful part of Italy and there really isn't anything wrong with life at the moment but it is sometimes a bit lonely here so I find myself feeling listless and unmotivated. It will pass. So despite the fact that I might not be good company t...	milkwood	27	619	Dec 5, 2013 by PP
	Down the rabbit hole. (Preview) Well. After over 2 weeks of hiding in his room, drinking, playing computer games, being a complete and utter A to me (interpret that how you will) and refusing to do anything about his job-situation, ABF's brother came to visit and managed to inspire him to come out of his room and rejoin the human race....	Melly1248	10	570	Dec 5, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Not making a decision (Preview) is making a decision. Aloha no family and this post is a response to some of the shares I've been reading this morning; the ones where the member speaks of deciding to take an action which may or may not be appropriate and/or work out positively...of course the oldtimers know that often times when oth...	Jerry F	4	396	Dec 4, 2013 by Tasha
	WHAT IS A CHAT ROOM MEETING "OP"? (Preview) Hi everyone, Following last nights business meeting, I thought it might useful to clarify OP staus. This is indicated by a gold symbol beside a person's name in the website chat room, or by a coloured icon in other chat programs. It is called OP "stautus" in computer chatroom terminolog...	Tigger	2	302	Dec 4, 2013 by hotrod
	Nightmare before Christmas!!! (Preview) My biggest fear as a Mother has just came true and believe it or not I am coping and coping quite well. My program has came to life for me in a different way entirely. My head has been filled with the 3c's, I have constantly said 'I am powerless' and Im here to tell you guys what I have been unable to say out loud...	el-cee	11	567	Dec 4, 2013 by neshema2
	Don't want him to get better? WHY? (Preview) Ok, I think I know the answer to this but I was looking for ESH here. My AH keeps talking about this daily bible devotional he wants to do with me. Talking about websites, should we do one for married people, what would I prefer, etc? Honestly, what I'd prefer is for him to move out. Just when I hit my wal...	ilovedogs	16	595	Dec 4, 2013 by abbyal
	I went to the crisis (Preview) I felt bad. I went to help. He lost keys phone can't get into his apt. Nobody to open the door. He has no where to go except with me. He has a open wound the size of a golf ball I'm crying right in front of him. I'm having a breakdown Please some esh. Using phone can't type on it. O god help me	Cathyinaz	34	808	Dec 4, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Continued.. (Preview) I don't know why my post are double posting or does not allow me to finish.. So as I was saying I called him on his bullshit.. I had to go to a meeting and they allowed me to let it all out.. The last I told my son was I can not do this no more. I can't help him no more. I was done an I left. I love my son, but I am truly jus...	Gaby	5	236	Dec 4, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	You are going to do WHAT? (Preview) My sweet boy....I know that 'better' is temporary until you get some recovery, but when you tell me YOUR plans I just want to SMACK YOU!!!!!!! i have to laugh to keep from SCREAMING! My son informs me he is getting an apartment with his cousin, WORST person to be around! Neither of them have a car, a JOB,...	Katytexasmom	8	549	Dec 4, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Fighting the funk... (Preview) I can feel the big ol' weight of depression creeping up on me...I'm feeling overwhelmed by end of semester demands, endless minor details and paperwork, housework and oh, yah Christmas. I know I SHOULD be excited about Xmas...and decorating...but it always seems like a lot of mess and nonsense for...	rehprof	7	360	Dec 3, 2013 by Debilyn
	Working on me (Preview) Now that the exAH is out of my life...I finally get to see through the fog and begin working on ME! I'm not suggesting that prior to the divorce I didn't have my own issues, it's just very difficult to see them and work on them when the world is revolving around the alcoholic and you are very isolated from a...	abbyalana	7	341	Dec 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	I failed. Once again. (Preview) Today is the day. The day I was "supposed" to file a divorce. I failed once again. I can't do it. I keep telling myself it's because I can't get him served but I know it's a lie. I have set at least one boundary I won't go back on. I won't let him come home until he goes to a real rehab. He hasn't asked t...	HisMrsWright	15	491	Dec 3, 2013 by abbyal
	Uggggg!!! (Preview) So fustrated at myself.. I love my son.. I truly feel like I may have abandoned him but truly I had to change things up. I needed to stick with my rental agreement.. There are consequences in life and I feel that he needs to pay them. I love him but I've done all I can do.. Now it's all up to him. And i will pray!!...	Gaby	3	627	Dec 3, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Baaaack (Preview) Well here I am again - I shouldn't have left really as I always found comfort in these boards. So much has happened since my last posts. Seems the last time I was on I had asked him to leave and he did. Not long after he left I found out I was pregnant. Yowza! He was out of the house for a while returning eventual...	Not Alone	4	374	Dec 3, 2013 by Tracy
	Well son moved in to an SLE.. (Preview) I helped my son move into an SLE.. I give him to god.. I've done absolutely all I can do. I love him and care for him, but I had to stand my ground on having him out of my home. I can only pray. He is not far from home, or anything else and SLE.. It is not a recovery program. But if he truly wants it he would go to any ex...	Gaby	4	282	Dec 2, 2013 by Rose50
	Uggggg!!! (Preview) So fustrated at myself.. I love my son.. I truly feel like I may have abandoned him but truly I had to change things up. I needed to stick with my rental agreement.. There are consequences in life and I feel that he needs to pay them. I love him but I've done all I can do.. Now it's all up to him. And i will pray!!...	Gaby	1	224	Dec 2, 2013 by deacon
	A song for Sunday... (Preview) I wanted to post this up... ... a song of love, it bought ears to my eyes... um... tears to my eyes... its sunday am here already... a neighbour lost his dog and came round to seek help... grandkids, 5 out of six will be filling the house and backyard in one hour... having some adult time... Sundays as a k...	DavidG	3	359	Dec 2, 2013 by DavidG
	Health concerns (Preview) I understand and accept that I have no control over my husband's drinking, but I think it's starting to seriously affect his health. The past several nights he's thrown up within a few minutes of eating. He thinks it's a stomach bug, but bugs don't last that long. I'd like him to go see the doc, but he d...	SpiderArcana	6	309	Dec 2, 2013 by SpiderArcana
	Feelings of abandonment...again (Preview) After 20+ years of having a sober father, I am now watching him slip into his old ways. Along with watching him slip I am watching my mom in turn to her old ways of enabling him. This time around, they are ultimately shutting me and my older siblings out. Most of our phone calls are not answered, excuses are...	ALotToLearn	5	197	Dec 2, 2013 by PP
	He say she say / with children (Preview) Good afternoon every one , we have another crisis here at home . And I'm one of those uncertainly what this is caused bye . Me and my husband sorted out our Boundarys we stay away from the topics that would bring us to the ring . I have my skills up to date he good on his end , but now the children are back at it aga...	Wisdom67	4	313	Dec 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	conundrum (Preview) As all of us do, I have a long story. My life has taken me to a place where I am not entirely sure what to do. To sum up, I am deeply involved with an alcoholic who is beginning recovery, but I am not his wife. He already has one. I am a 41YO woman. For almost 3 years I have been in a relationship with a man, an old fr...	marmoset	4	305	Dec 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	Follow up to my mums turning into the alcoholic in my life (Preview) I took the plunge and told my mum how I was feeling ( nervous on edge waiting for the criticism ... & after the usual initial response of well I just won't come and I'll keep my mouth shut like I normally do...) she told me the real reason. She feels it's all about me, I never contact her, do anything for h...	Minibee	2	296	Dec 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Oh and also.. (Preview) to everyone that expressed concern and well-wishes over my no-refrigerator situation. Just a few days ago, my grandmother conveniently decided to upgrade to a new fridge, leaving her (perfectly good and relatively new) fridge free to a good home. She offered to buy me a new fridge several times and...	Melly1248	7	410	Dec 1, 2013 by neshema2
	Having a hard night (Preview) I'm laying in bed struggling with my thoughts. Why does this have to be so difficult? I am debating texting or calling a friend. Even my mom but my history is such a broken record. I don't want to be judged anymore. I do fairly decent during the day but when it's time for bed and I'm all alone, I fall apart. Wh...	HisMrsWright	7	381	Dec 1, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Dec 1 (Preview) Hi Everyone: As ODAT suggested today I have been looking at the year in review, more accurately I have been re-reading posts that I have started and all of your responses as I have been making the journey, best I can, from sickness to healthy life. I needed reminders of how I got to where I am right now. M...	yanksfan51	3	289	Dec 1, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Things I couldn't do yesterday. (Preview) I was thinking about how very fearful I am about...well, almost everything that normal people take for granted. I know WHY, a combination of PTSD and also being told repeatedly as a child that I mustn't do anything or touch anything because it wasn't SAFE for me to do anything or touch anything; I'd bur...	Melly1248	6	451	Dec 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	Thoughts on Happiness (Preview) Happiness is not pleasure. Happiness is victory. Zig Ziglar Big or small, our victories are our happiness. Each one shows us we can do what we set out to do. Each helps build confidence in our abilities and is a boon to our self-esteem. With each victory, we can be assured there will be another. An...	grateful2be	6	332	Dec 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	No offense intended... (Preview) I mean no harm and do not wish to offend anyone who is non christian, but felt compiled to share this video to help get those who are christian move into the spirit of the forthcoming holidays.	John	13	658	Dec 1, 2013 by PP
	I decided it's time (Preview) I've had this forum saved on my phone for months. I've never known what to write and still don't honestly. First things first, my name is Michelle and my husband is an alcoholic. My story could go on for days and days just like any of you I'm sure. I'm 28 and he is 31. We've been married 2 1/2 years. We have a d...	HisMrsWright	13	514	Dec 1, 2013 by Mimi3
	Me Syndrom (Preview) My A has been in AA for 10 months and we are all very proud of him. We do try to give him support without babying or stepping on egg shells. This "me syndrome" is driving us all batty. The AA is still using "recovery" as an excuse as to why they are neglectful of household/personal...	gwyndalf	2	251	Dec 1, 2013 by SpiderArcana
	All I can do is laugh (Preview) All I did was ask if he was ok. Apparently, that is a go for him going off about something and how I always put him in a spot, and how he's always wrong, blah blah blah. And he apologized, and he said he was going through some stuff, and then he went to go lie down in his room. Alrighty. Whatever babe. I'm g...	SpiderArcana	4	278	Dec 1, 2013 by Melly1248
	Not sure what to say,kinda sad (Preview) so ive come on the board tonight feeling blah. its the fourth night this week my ah has been out. yeah, he calls but. . im alone again. my daughter asks where is daddy. . i tell her what i know. . hes with his buddies. its the first thing she asks whn we pull in the driveway and one of the last things she asks at be...	Theoceancalls	10	430	Dec 1, 2013 by yanksfan51
	On G2B's thoughts on Happiness :-D (Preview) G2B said:"Happiness is not pleasure. Happiness is victory. Zig ZiglarBig or small, our victories are our happiness. Each one shows us we can do what we set out to do. Each helps build confidence in our abilities and is a boon to our self-esteem. With each victory, we can be assured there wil...	Melly1248	13	548	Dec 1, 2013 by Raven Juniper
	The Holidays With My Mother (Preview) My mother is one of the most difficult people in the world that I have to deal with. I will deal with my alcoholic husband all day long over dealing with her, and she is one of the reasons why I continue to stay with him even in the most unhappiest of times- because I have nowhere to go except to her house and i...	1lostmom	2	440	Nov 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	A rough start (Preview) My alcoholic husband is 2 weeks into detox/rehab and I'm doing everything I can to hold the hope that this will work. the concept that's this disease is not just his, but mine as well is new to me. I'm slow in learning to let go. I Can't control any of it. I scour the internet for any resources I can find. A ans...	Naydel	4	381	Nov 30, 2013 by HisMrsWright
	detaching (Preview) Happy Turkey Day! I think I understand something about myself and detaching with love. I have wanted to do this with my A for the last few years. I was able to detach but without the love part. Now that I have a number of months in program, I am feeling better about myself. I think for the last couple we...	Lyne	7	490	Nov 30, 2013 by Ifnotforgrace
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