Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

el-cee · el-cee

At my meeting tonight the topic was giving and receiving. Sounds nice and just in time for Christmas. I thought about this in terms of my relationship with my son. I give - way too much and he receives too much. I give him too much thought, too much of my time thinking about him, too much of my happiness, wor...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I have this overwhelming feeling all the time I need to take care of this, I need to do that. I need to help..no I can't do that...and on and on and on. My faith is not strong. I can't let go. I have read any and all I can find on posts about faith. I found a response from Jerry F back in 2011 that w...

John · John

Katytexasmom · Katytexasmom

My son called me tonight and said he's ready to stop! He does not know what to do or how to do this. He was told by his father that I knew of a place he could go. I've heard of a place that works on donations but I don't know anything about them. he has no vehicle or phone (used his dads to call) and wanted to go ton...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi everyone, it has been a very long time since I have been on this site and I am glad to see it is still here to give people the peace and serenity it once did for me. I have been out of a relationship with an alcoholic/drug addict for almost two years and my life became beyond better than I could have ever imag...

Kent · Kent

I am a relatively new member of alanon (I've been to maybe 5 meetings in the last ten days), but I already see the many ways in which it can benefit my life and my relationships. While my mother is not an alcoholic (nor is she an ACOA), I feel like she could really benefit from this program as well. I say tha...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

As I go deeper in recovery and have more to work with, in my tenth steps I see over and over a pattern where I have accepted probably two hundred times in my life, beginning with my parents, where others will point the finger at me and blame me for their own dysfunction, fears and shame. i am carrying the sha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I know I can change, I know I can change, I can change! I am praying on the situation I am having at my one & only meeting. I am not considering the fact that my tension is due to the fact that I have trouble w/ principles before personalities. I am human & feel hurt like humans do. I hope that maybe I ca...

Brighter Days · Brighter Days

I have lived with a high functioning alcoholic for over 10 years and only in the past 10 months have I really recognized the effics it has had on me. I was determined not to become co-dependent however I never understood the real meaning of co-dependancy. I am co-dependent! Last March my alcoholic husb...

cwya · cwya

I got a new job which may or may not be a good thing. Turns out my new boss seems to be having some serious emotional issues that unfortunately are spilling over into the workplace. I think I'm losing perspective about her behavior. I know I tend to have thin skin, something I've never been able to make...

sadsusie · sadsusie

It was only a matter of time. It started with the odoul's, moved into the beer, and is now I am certain..moved back into the liquor. I can't help but be sad. I mean I keep my head above the water and have fun at my business and bought some crafts to work on..but I wanted to cry on the drive home. Guess that's no...

Jozie · Jozie

Happy Tues. Everyone... I Can't Say Mine has been Bad, but these Last Few Weeks have me Mentally & Physically Exhausted beyond words, and I Just can't put a Finger on Why? I had a Very Emotional Thanksgiving Week, I think just Missing My MIL who past Just Before the Holiday & My AFather , and Kn...

PP · PP

I am rattled and not feeling so safe tonight. I know that the store where I worked alone this evening was being scoped out for a potential robbery...I felt it, I felt my fear, I was present to the danger and did not ignore it. I was planning out what to do all the while engaging the young man in a conversat...

Lyne · Lyne

Thanks for the support yesterday! It was interesting. The A got very angry several times. I only briefly felt scared or anxious. It left within minutes. It came up several times, and it left several times. This is amazing progress for me. I am much more in control of myself. THANK YOU ALANON! ...

Nightingale · Nightingale

Yesterday my SABF became really angry with me out of the blue. We were having a great day and then all of a sudden Mr. Hyde made an appearance. He wouldn't even speak to me. Personally I think he was looking for an excuse to go binge on chocolate ice cream...which he did. I didn't feel like playing into it so...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really don't want to stay away anymore. I am afraid that this might be my only way of communicating w/ Al anon. I am trying to find a happy medium in dealing w/ others in the program. I feel shut-out at meetings & find myself hurt & not wanting to go back. I don't feel that I have the time necessary t...

tortuga · tortuga

Hi MIP family, I have been away some time, ... the merry-go-round got me ...totally this time. I had become pregnant with my ex A. we have been through the 'honeymoon phase' after a violent episode. I feel like a fool coming to write here now, when I should have known better, already before. I wrote here a...

John · John

I was asked in a PM why we don't use more forceful measures, stronger words, etc. To get an abused person to open their eyes, run to face to face meetings, subject them to shaming or guilt riddled statements or opinions about how it might be effecting children under the roof, etc. I replied and wanted to...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Before I realized that my daughter was an A, back when I believed that everyone else had a problem/was telling lies about her/that she really would pay me back/that it would all be my fault if i didnt help her, etc, I thought it just odd that she had so many car accidents (mostly scrapes along the sides, bu...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

There's no more screaming in my house the ring has been taken down no more ding ding for the next fight. The last time I posted it was all lies . I been trying to get better convince myself I will be happy one day . My A 1 year sober husband still is not working 2 months now and still no health insurance ran out of...

el-cee · el-cee

Son has been officially living here for 8 days, don't get me wrong, hes been more or less back before that. Well, he comes in on Friday night drunk. The next morning I tell him he cant come here drunk or drinking. Tonight, he comes in drunk, three days later. Now, I feel like I must defend my boundary and tel...

Gaby · Gaby

As most of you all know my son is now living in an SLE and on Friday he was asked to leave for 5 days until he is able to test clean. Well Friday he stayed in his car and stayed in the parking garage at the SLE. He calls me Saturday asked to talked with me. We met and he says he never thought this would be his low slee...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Now my son is back at the hospital. He texted telling me it was all black and wide open.....not healing. What else can go wrong with him. I said OK and wished him well.....

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Daughter got up. It was raining and thundering. Too heavy to walk to school in. I wasn't pleased with the idea but I knocked on ABF's door and asked him if he would drive her to school as it was an absolute hurricane outside. Please note, we never ask him to do this but today the weather was just so bad. And I f...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

What HP didn't give me in men, he gave me in darlings. Capturing these guys like this today made me smile

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I thought I was doing alright for awhile, but the codie self-doubt is back. I haven't been stocking the larder for a few months now. When I do, I just buy things that I want, as opposed to my prior shopping habits which revolved around the A and his wants. I occasionally buy a few things the A eats, such as...

el-cee · el-cee

I can't remember how to use my Alanon tools. I know it sounds insane but since this happened with my son I cant seem to get myself back on track. I feel like Im losing it all over again. I am finding it hard to work on myself I want to block it out rather than work on recovery. I am not taking care of myself, Im los...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Dear Lord, I pray. I want to show my gratitude for all that you have given me. I am grateful for all the wonderful things and wonderful experiences. Today, I am sitting on my couch, watching football, enjoying some ice cream. nice and peaceful. Not every minute of my day has to be occupied and 'productiv...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I am reading a lot here today about trying not to rescue the alcoholic. This experience of mine I am sharing is in no way meant to judge anyone here - my only aim is to be helpful. Last night when I was at the Friends and Family Big Book Study meeting (this is a meeting where Alanons are all doing the steps usin...

neshema2 · neshema2

I think I need to back off to a bit of a degree........work on my steps book w/sponsor and stay in my own playground till I figure this out.......I think I am best suited for "next door" then for here......seems my posts are more of an abrasive on this side then just sharing my es&h which w...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well, that first part happened on Wednesday and I had court on Thursday and OMGOSH .. that was just a hoot. This was for the OP and no I'm not divorced yet .. LOL. I have an EOP until 1/30/14. This was my morning that day .. LOL .. I walk in and a deputy/bailiff had a lovely conversation. Pretty much .. him...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Everyone Since Sunday when I took my son in for the night and then Monday taking him back to his place, we have had contact. We have talked on the phone and I said things like I will help if you get your act together and find a job but not until then. MISTAKE Then he calls me one evening in a stupo...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Hi all, I've been trying to read and respond to posts I really have a hard time trying to respond on my phone. Still internet challenged and now the computer has decided to act up. LOL! Just rolling along because it is what it is :) I guess I should start off with stating that one of my best friends has rel...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I just returned from a nine day stay in Texas. I was there for Thanksgiving to visit my daughter and her family, and also to help my son-in-law take care of their two toddler-aged sons (my grandsons) while my daughter attended a four day conference out of state. I was so glad to have to my able to grab my &qu...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

It seems like there's always one slogan or tool that makes itself available when things are getting rough. Sometimes it just takes a while for me to see it. Since our "wonderful chat", ABF has been awful. No surprise there; he was on a high at the time full of big plans and pipe dreams and beer....

John · John

I posted earlier about Dec 6th being my birthday, well it is! Problem is, I completely missed acknowledging a year! I'm 55, not 54! (Dec 6th 1958) My sister says that during the first year of being separated from my ex, I was so emotionally sick, and didn't do anything that would have created any memo...

Naydel · Naydel

Hello. My name is Renee and I am codependent. Tonight I attended my first al anon meeting after much urging by alcoholic husband's counselors. Listening to all that they talked about the term codependent was sort of thrown around freely and it stuck with me. Really not understanding exactly how that...

stilllearning · stilllearning

Hello all, I'm trying to be mindful... be present.. and it hurts.. I just had to put an old friend down(13year old black lab) because his health was failing him and strangely enough I had to put his brother down (because of different health issues) a month ago.. Pretty weird... all these years togeth...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I thought I should say hello. I have been lurking around the board for a few weeks now and responding to posts here and there. I don't recognize a lot of names. It's good to see all the new family members have found their way to us. I also so a few names that I remember from when I was more active on the bo...

mm830 · mm830

Hi Everyone. I could use a little help understanding how to stay on my own side of the road, really struggling with what I think the A should and should not do, his mother completely enabling as in paying for a thousand dollar car repair this week then he is calling me for help with a utility bill, I want to p...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good evening everyone After my meltdown last weekend and telling my SO I'm DONE and I will be moving out, he freaked. He asked if we could at least try doing just one thing together on the weekend so we don't isolate each other. I agreed. Today I got up and asked..OK....I am going out are you going. He sa...

Lyne · Lyne

Today I must work at my mom's (she is 90) house, with my brother, and her live in companion is an active alcoholic. As a result he is angry all the time, unreasonable, stubborn, a real drag to deal with. I feel steady as I face this task. I think I will be reciting many slogans and using the Serenity Praye...

abbyal · abbyal

Yagottawanna - go to that first meeting as a step out of the pit of despair. Yagottawanna -go to meeting after meeting if you desire progress. Yagottawanna -Listen when you get there. Yagottawanna - Do what it says to do . Yagottawanna- Work the twelve steps , not merely analyze them. The progra...

decgirl1973 · decgirl1973

I've been lurking on here for a few days. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic who's been sober for 6 years. Al anon has been recommended to me several times but I always felt like I couldn't devote any more of my physical or emotional energy to "His" disease. I still have so much resentme...

John · John

Yes, today is my birthday. Thank you everyone who sent me happy birthday wishes on FB. Wow... 54 yrs old. There was a time in my life that I did not believe I would live past my 30's. Life has had its up's and down's, its good's and bad's, its joy and it's pain's.. but I wouldn't want to trade my life for any on...

abbyal · abbyal

As I try to live the Al-Anon program each day , I find myself with the right to and responsibility for a new set of values and attitudes , I still have the right to become upset but I find that I also have the responsibility to turn away from anger. I have the right to be supportive of others but the resp...

oldergal · oldergal

I am still here, although I am pretty messed up. The more you help me the lower my bottom has too be. I am smart, but effected by this disease, I feel like I am in hell when I try to come back to life. My brain has been altered so much that it doesn't function very good anymore. My body is so addicted that all i...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

After my last post about the concerns I have regarding my husband's health, I realized something that made me really sad. We are probably not going to grow old together. We are probably not going to get to retire to Vancouver together. Some days i wonder if I'll be a widow by the time I'm 40. Despite t...

Gaby · Gaby

I know I have been told many times I need to work my program.. I agree very much I do.. I need to gain my sanity back and let go and move out if my sons way and pray for him.. Some say he has hope. He's been down this road before and he has the tools to not go back where he was. I wish so much I was working my program str...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, here I go: I haven't been able to post on here for about 2 weeks I think. Anyhow, I am doing OK but have had some difficult moments since the last time I posted. I had a somewhat crappy Thanksgiving. My husband didn't honor my wishes & cooked the entire meal w/o any help from me. Normally to everyone...

Gaby · Gaby

Well it's going on day 3 that I have not spoken to my son. Yes it hurts because even through the times he was using we were still close or I maybe have been just enabling him and comforting him an nourishing him.. I miss him and will always love him. Right now I am to fragile to even call him where he is staying a...

Gaby · Gaby

I called the sle place where my son is and the house parent said he was worried about him he did not sleep all night. I choked up. Because I already know certain signs. He said my son has not been there all day. I believe I need to stop checking on my son. I'm driving myself crazy. I know my som had no phone. Even...

el-cee · el-cee

While participating in the nightmare weekend but in a detached way. I found that I was working my program and I was doing fine but on no it wasn't to last. Im feeling that old familiar dis-ease and I'm trying to work out what is going on with me. It could be:Im denying my feelings about what happened to my so...

oldergal · oldergal

I already see posts about Christmas Holidays. The dread of it all! Please figure out what Christmas and New Years really means to you, and then keep it simple. More money spent doesn't make it better. It seems I see more unhappiness during the holidays than anything else. It's enough to have to deal wit...

Gaby · Gaby

Yesterday was very tough.. My son as you all know is living in an SLE place. Well he called me yesterday from a random number and said that someone stoled his phone. Well I know for a fact that's not true.. I checked it all out went to his place and truly called him his bullshit..

Milehi-tlc · Milehi-tlc

I can really tell when I've not been working the program as much as I should. The real the gift of alanon is that I can now see what works and what doesn't work In my life. I've been through huge challenges in the past year and with the support and fellowship of the program I've made it through the worst of...

Gaby · Gaby

I again did not go to work. This depression has kicked my a** all do to the fact that all I worry and fear about my son that at this time does not want to talk to me. It's really hurts but what can I do. I love him and really need to work my program. God bless.. -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 5th of December 2013 0...

milkwood · milkwood

I've been feeling a bit disconnected recently. We live in a beautiful part of Italy and there really isn't anything wrong with life at the moment but it is sometimes a bit lonely here so I find myself feeling listless and unmotivated. It will pass. So despite the fact that I might not be good company t...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well. After over 2 weeks of hiding in his room, drinking, playing computer games, being a complete and utter A to me (interpret that how you will) and refusing to do anything about his job-situation, ABF's brother came to visit and managed to inspire him to come out of his room and rejoin the human race....

Jerry F · Jerry F

is making a decision. Aloha no family and this post is a response to some of the shares I've been reading this morning; the ones where the member speaks of deciding to take an action which may or may not be appropriate and/or work out positively...of course the oldtimers know that often times when oth...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Giving and Receiving (Preview) At my meeting tonight the topic was giving and receiving. Sounds nice and just in time for Christmas. I thought about this in terms of my relationship with my son. I give - way too much and he receives too much. I give him too much thought, too much of my time thinking about him, too much of my happiness, wor...	el-cee	4	576	Dec 12, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Looking Up Faith (Preview) Hi Everyone I have this overwhelming feeling all the time I need to take care of this, I need to do that. I need to help..no I can't do that...and on and on and on. My faith is not strong. I can't let go. I have read any and all I can find on posts about faith. I found a response from Jerry F back in 2011 that w...	Cathyinaz	18	661	Dec 12, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Kudo's to our Service Workers! (Preview)	John	9	571	Dec 12, 2013 by PP
	OMG. HE WANTS TO GO TO TREATMENT! Now what??? HELP (Preview) My son called me tonight and said he's ready to stop! He does not know what to do or how to do this. He was told by his father that I knew of a place he could go. I've heard of a place that works on donations but I don't know anything about them. he has no vehicle or phone (used his dads to call) and wanted to go ton...	Katytexasmom	16	710	Dec 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Old feelings of panic (Preview) Hi everyone, it has been a very long time since I have been on this site and I am glad to see it is still here to give people the peace and serenity it once did for me. I have been out of a relationship with an alcoholic/drug addict for almost two years and my life became beyond better than I could have ever imag...	Corgi2	5	474	Dec 11, 2013 by Corgi2
	Codependence and Detachment for a Newbie (Preview) I am a relatively new member of alanon (I've been to maybe 5 meetings in the last ten days), but I already see the many ways in which it can benefit my life and my relationships. While my mother is not an alcoholic (nor is she an ACOA), I feel like she could really benefit from this program as well. I say tha...	Kent	6	662	Dec 11, 2013 by el-cee
	Blame and Finger Pointing (Preview) As I go deeper in recovery and have more to work with, in my tenth steps I see over and over a pattern where I have accepted probably two hundred times in my life, beginning with my parents, where others will point the finger at me and blame me for their own dysfunction, fears and shame. i am carrying the sha...	WorkingThroughIt	8	557	Dec 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	something will change or I might not change... (Preview) I know I can change, I know I can change, I can change! I am praying on the situation I am having at my one & only meeting. I am not considering the fact that my tension is due to the fact that I have trouble w/ principles before personalities. I am human & feel hurt like humans do. I hope that maybe I ca...	Hoot Nanny	5	437	Dec 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	I Am Crazy! (Preview) I have lived with a high functioning alcoholic for over 10 years and only in the past 10 months have I really recognized the effics it has had on me. I was determined not to become co-dependent however I never understood the real meaning of co-dependancy. I am co-dependent! Last March my alcoholic husb...	Brighter Days	5	601	Dec 11, 2013 by Jerry F
	Nutso boss (Preview) I got a new job which may or may not be a good thing. Turns out my new boss seems to be having some serious emotional issues that unfortunately are spilling over into the workplace. I think I'm losing perspective about her behavior. I know I tend to have thin skin, something I've never been able to make...	cwya	11	300	Dec 10, 2013 by grateful2be
	First comes beer, then comes liquor, forever sicker. (Preview) It was only a matter of time. It started with the odoul's, moved into the beer, and is now I am certain..moved back into the liquor. I can't help but be sad. I mean I keep my head above the water and have fun at my business and bought some crafts to work on..but I wanted to cry on the drive home. Guess that's no...	sadsusie	4	489	Dec 10, 2013 by grateful2be
	The Spiritual Awakening... I Need & Deserve... (Preview) Happy Tues. Everyone... I Can't Say Mine has been Bad, but these Last Few Weeks have me Mentally & Physically Exhausted beyond words, and I Just can't put a Finger on Why? I had a Very Emotional Thanksgiving Week, I think just Missing My MIL who past Just Before the Holiday & My AFather , and Kn...	Jozie	3	530	Dec 10, 2013 by grateful2be
	Feeling vulnerable (Preview) I am rattled and not feeling so safe tonight. I know that the store where I worked alone this evening was being scoped out for a potential robbery...I felt it, I felt my fear, I was present to the danger and did not ignore it. I was planning out what to do all the while engaging the young man in a conversat...	PP	22	600	Dec 10, 2013 by Jen61
	update on being with A (Preview) Thanks for the support yesterday! It was interesting. The A got very angry several times. I only briefly felt scared or anxious. It left within minutes. It came up several times, and it left several times. This is amazing progress for me. I am much more in control of myself. THANK YOU ALANON! ...	Lyne	4	357	Dec 10, 2013 by grateful2be
	Olive branch or needy sucker? (Preview) Yesterday my SABF became really angry with me out of the blue. We were having a great day and then all of a sudden Mr. Hyde made an appearance. He wouldn't even speak to me. Personally I think he was looking for an excuse to go binge on chocolate ice cream...which he did. I didn't feel like playing into it so...	Nightingale	10	589	Dec 10, 2013 by PP
	I really don't want to stay away! (Preview) I really don't want to stay away anymore. I am afraid that this might be my only way of communicating w/ Al anon. I am trying to find a happy medium in dealing w/ others in the program. I feel shut-out at meetings & find myself hurt & not wanting to go back. I don't feel that I have the time necessary t...	Hoot Nanny	5	434	Dec 10, 2013 by abbyal
	stress after abortion (Preview) Hi MIP family, I have been away some time, ... the merry-go-round got me ...totally this time. I had become pregnant with my ex A. we have been through the 'honeymoon phase' after a violent episode. I feel like a fool coming to write here now, when I should have known better, already before. I wrote here a...	tortuga	29	3992	Dec 10, 2013 by Tasha
	Helping the abuse victim that joins us... (Preview) I was asked in a PM why we don't use more forceful measures, stronger words, etc. To get an abused person to open their eyes, run to face to face meetings, subject them to shaming or guilt riddled statements or opinions about how it might be effecting children under the roof, etc. I replied and wanted to...	John	15	712	Dec 10, 2013 by grateful2be
	another car wrecked, and my response should be? (Preview) Before I realized that my daughter was an A, back when I believed that everyone else had a problem/was telling lies about her/that she really would pay me back/that it would all be my fault if i didnt help her, etc, I thought it just odd that she had so many car accidents (mostly scrapes along the sides, bu...	lgnutah	7	376	Dec 10, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	There's no screaming in my (Preview) There's no more screaming in my house the ring has been taken down no more ding ding for the next fight. The last time I posted it was all lies . I been trying to get better convince myself I will be happy one day . My A 1 year sober husband still is not working 2 months now and still no health insurance ran out of...	Wisdom67	5	434	Dec 10, 2013 by Jozie
	Back on the merrygoround (Preview) Son has been officially living here for 8 days, don't get me wrong, hes been more or less back before that. Well, he comes in on Friday night drunk. The next morning I tell him he cant come here drunk or drinking. Tonight, he comes in drunk, three days later. Now, I feel like I must defend my boundary and tel...	el-cee	7	538	Dec 10, 2013 by PP
	Not sure if I am helping or I enabled?? (Preview) As most of you all know my son is now living in an SLE and on Friday he was asked to leave for 5 days until he is able to test clean. Well Friday he stayed in his car and stayed in the parking garage at the SLE. He calls me Saturday asked to talked with me. We met and he says he never thought this would be his low slee...	Gaby	5	455	Dec 10, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Hospital (Preview) Now my son is back at the hospital. He texted telling me it was all black and wide open.....not healing. What else can go wrong with him. I said OK and wished him well.....	Cathyinaz	29	525	Dec 10, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Hello, monster. (Preview) Daughter got up. It was raining and thundering. Too heavy to walk to school in. I wasn't pleased with the idea but I knocked on ABF's door and asked him if he would drive her to school as it was an absolute hurricane outside. Please note, we never ask him to do this but today the weather was just so bad. And I f...	Melly1248	17	806	Dec 9, 2013 by sadsusie
	Awww (Preview) What HP didn't give me in men, he gave me in darlings. Capturing these guys like this today made me smile	Melly1248	8	475	Dec 9, 2013 by Jen61
	is this wrong? (Preview) I thought I was doing alright for awhile, but the codie self-doubt is back. I haven't been stocking the larder for a few months now. When I do, I just buy things that I want, as opposed to my prior shopping habits which revolved around the A and his wants. I occasionally buy a few things the A eats, such as...	Raven Juniper	6	496	Dec 9, 2013 by neshema2
	I've forgot how to do it! (Preview) I can't remember how to use my Alanon tools. I know it sounds insane but since this happened with my son I cant seem to get myself back on track. I feel like Im losing it all over again. I am finding it hard to work on myself I want to block it out rather than work on recovery. I am not taking care of myself, Im los...	el-cee	19	624	Dec 9, 2013 by hotrod
	Lord, I ask for help. A prayer to my higher power. (Preview) Dear Lord, I pray. I want to show my gratitude for all that you have given me. I am grateful for all the wonderful things and wonderful experiences. Today, I am sitting on my couch, watching football, enjoying some ice cream. nice and peaceful. Not every minute of my day has to be occupied and 'productiv...	slogan_jim	10	542	Dec 9, 2013 by mm830
	Boundaries (Preview) I am reading a lot here today about trying not to rescue the alcoholic. This experience of mine I am sharing is in no way meant to judge anyone here - my only aim is to be helpful. Last night when I was at the Friends and Family Big Book Study meeting (this is a meeting where Alanons are all doing the steps usin...	WorkingThroughIt	4	513	Dec 9, 2013 by el-cee
	is what is best for the common group staying in my own sandbox (Preview) I think I need to back off to a bit of a degree........work on my steps book w/sponsor and stay in my own playground till I figure this out.......I think I am best suited for "next door" then for here......seems my posts are more of an abrasive on this side then just sharing my es&h which w...	neshema2	3	505	Dec 9, 2013 by el-cee
	Update Part 2 (Preview) Well, that first part happened on Wednesday and I had court on Thursday and OMGOSH .. that was just a hoot. This was for the OP and no I'm not divorced yet .. LOL. I have an EOP until 1/30/14. This was my morning that day .. LOL .. I walk in and a deputy/bailiff had a lovely conversation. Pretty much .. him...	SerenityRUS	5	429	Dec 9, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	I Have to Stop Again (Preview) Good Morning Everyone Since Sunday when I took my son in for the night and then Monday taking him back to his place, we have had contact. We have talked on the phone and I said things like I will help if you get your act together and find a job but not until then. MISTAKE Then he calls me one evening in a stupo...	Cathyinaz	15	634	Dec 9, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Update Part 1 (Preview) Hi all, I've been trying to read and respond to posts I really have a hard time trying to respond on my phone. Still internet challenged and now the computer has decided to act up. LOL! Just rolling along because it is what it is :) I guess I should start off with stating that one of my best friends has rel...	SerenityRUS	0	345	Dec 8, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	Practicing Step 12 (Preview) I just returned from a nine day stay in Texas. I was there for Thanksgiving to visit my daughter and her family, and also to help my son-in-law take care of their two toddler-aged sons (my grandsons) while my daughter attended a four day conference out of state. I was so glad to have to my able to grab my &qu...	Green Eyes	7	553	Dec 9, 2013 by Green Eyes
	Pick-a-slogan (Preview) It seems like there's always one slogan or tool that makes itself available when things are getting rough. Sometimes it just takes a while for me to see it. Since our "wonderful chat", ABF has been awful. No surprise there; he was on a high at the time full of big plans and pipe dreams and beer....	Melly1248	15	575	Dec 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	I discovered something yesterday.. my birthday! (Preview) I posted earlier about Dec 6th being my birthday, well it is! Problem is, I completely missed acknowledging a year! I'm 55, not 54! (Dec 6th 1958) My sister says that during the first year of being separated from my ex, I was so emotionally sick, and didn't do anything that would have created any memo...	John	7	324	Dec 8, 2013 by Peggy7
	Hello. My name is Renee and I am codependent. (Preview) Hello. My name is Renee and I am codependent. Tonight I attended my first al anon meeting after much urging by alcoholic husband's counselors. Listening to all that they talked about the term codependent was sort of thrown around freely and it stuck with me. Really not understanding exactly how that...	Naydel	11	3545	Dec 8, 2013 by Tricia911
	Grieving the loss of my two 13 year old black labs...:( (Preview) Hello all, I'm trying to be mindful... be present.. and it hurts.. I just had to put an old friend down(13year old black lab) because his health was failing him and strangely enough I had to put his brother down (because of different health issues) a month ago.. Pretty weird... all these years togeth...	stilllearning	13	687	Dec 8, 2013 by Peggy7
	Who's that lurking (Preview) Hi all, I thought I should say hello. I have been lurking around the board for a few weeks now and responding to posts here and there. I don't recognize a lot of names. It's good to see all the new family members have found their way to us. I also so a few names that I remember from when I was more active on the bo...	Mandy123	7	441	Dec 8, 2013 by Peggy7
	Staying on your side of the road - suggestions (Preview) Hi Everyone. I could use a little help understanding how to stay on my own side of the road, really struggling with what I think the A should and should not do, his mother completely enabling as in paying for a thousand dollar car repair this week then he is calling me for help with a utility bill, I want to p...	mm830	10	1203	Dec 8, 2013 by maryjane
	Good Day (Preview) Good evening everyone After my meltdown last weekend and telling my SO I'm DONE and I will be moving out, he freaked. He asked if we could at least try doing just one thing together on the weekend so we don't isolate each other. I agreed. Today I got up and asked..OK....I am going out are you going. He sa...	Cathyinaz	13	564	Dec 8, 2013 by SerenityRUS
	dealing with an active alcoholic today (Preview) Today I must work at my mom's (she is 90) house, with my brother, and her live in companion is an active alcoholic. As a result he is angry all the time, unreasonable, stubborn, a real drag to deal with. I feel steady as I face this task. I think I will be reciting many slogans and using the Serenity Praye...	Lyne	4	466	Dec 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	YAGOTTAWANNA (Preview) Yagottawanna - go to that first meeting as a step out of the pit of despair. Yagottawanna -go to meeting after meeting if you desire progress. Yagottawanna -Listen when you get there. Yagottawanna - Do what it says to do . Yagottawanna- Work the twelve steps , not merely analyze them. The progra...	abbyal	9	554	Dec 8, 2013 by neshema2
	Ready to find ME!! (Preview) I've been lurking on here for a few days. I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic who's been sober for 6 years. Al anon has been recommended to me several times but I always felt like I couldn't devote any more of my physical or emotional energy to "His" disease. I still have so much resentme...	decgirl1973	7	491	Dec 7, 2013 by neshema2
	Today is my birthday... (Preview) Yes, today is my birthday. Thank you everyone who sent me happy birthday wishes on FB. Wow... 54 yrs old. There was a time in my life that I did not believe I would live past my 30's. Life has had its up's and down's, its good's and bad's, its joy and it's pain's.. but I wouldn't want to trade my life for any on...	John	16	646	Dec 7, 2013 by lgnutah
	A piece of literature from an old Forum magazine that helped me to become the person I wanted to be (Preview) As I try to live the Al-Anon program each day , I find myself with the right to and responsibility for a new set of values and attitudes , I still have the right to become upset but I find that I also have the responsibility to turn away from anger. I have the right to be supportive of others but the resp...	abbyal	8	375	Dec 7, 2013 by neshema2
	To Mom, From Your Son Who Loves You (Preview) I am still here, although I am pretty messed up. The more you help me the lower my bottom has too be. I am smart, but effected by this disease, I feel like I am in hell when I try to come back to life. My brain has been altered so much that it doesn't function very good anymore. My body is so addicted that all i...	oldergal	7	415	Dec 6, 2013 by PP
	A realization that set in to a bout of sadness (Preview) After my last post about the concerns I have regarding my husband's health, I realized something that made me really sad. We are probably not going to grow old together. We are probably not going to get to retire to Vancouver together. Some days i wonder if I'll be a widow by the time I'm 40. Despite t...	SpiderArcana	8	481	Dec 6, 2013 by bud
	Just need to vent.. (Preview) I know I have been told many times I need to work my program.. I agree very much I do.. I need to gain my sanity back and let go and move out if my sons way and pray for him.. Some say he has hope. He's been down this road before and he has the tools to not go back where he was. I wish so much I was working my program str...	Gaby	8	514	Dec 6, 2013 by bud
	I have been missing you all... (Preview) So, here I go: I haven't been able to post on here for about 2 weeks I think. Anyhow, I am doing OK but have had some difficult moments since the last time I posted. I had a somewhat crappy Thanksgiving. My husband didn't honor my wishes & cooked the entire meal w/o any help from me. Normally to everyone...	Hoot Nanny	3	404	Dec 6, 2013 by el-cee
	Prayed and Prayed.. For hope and faith !! (Preview) Well it's going on day 3 that I have not spoken to my son. Yes it hurts because even through the times he was using we were still close or I maybe have been just enabling him and comforting him an nourishing him.. I miss him and will always love him. Right now I am to fragile to even call him where he is staying a...	Gaby	2	396	Dec 5, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I really have to let things out here before I go crazy with all this pain.. (Preview) I called the sle place where my son is and the house parent said he was worried about him he did not sleep all night. I choked up. Because I already know certain signs. He said my son has not been there all day. I believe I need to stop checking on my son. I'm driving myself crazy. I know my som had no phone. Even...	Gaby	9	674	Dec 5, 2013 by el-cee
	Spoke too soon! (Preview) While participating in the nightmare weekend but in a detached way. I found that I was working my program and I was doing fine but on no it wasn't to last. Im feeling that old familiar dis-ease and I'm trying to work out what is going on with me. It could be:Im denying my feelings about what happened to my so...	el-cee	5	348	Dec 5, 2013 by el-cee
	KEEP IT SIMPLE (Preview) I already see posts about Christmas Holidays. The dread of it all! Please figure out what Christmas and New Years really means to you, and then keep it simple. More money spent doesn't make it better. It seems I see more unhappiness during the holidays than anything else. It's enough to have to deal wit...	oldergal	10	1109	Dec 5, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Went to a face to face meeting.. (Preview) Yesterday was very tough.. My son as you all know is living in an SLE place. Well he called me yesterday from a random number and said that someone stoled his phone. Well I know for a fact that's not true.. I checked it all out went to his place and truly called him his bullshit..	Gaby	3	308	Dec 5, 2013 by Tracy
	Focus and gratitude (Preview) I can really tell when I've not been working the program as much as I should. The real the gift of alanon is that I can now see what works and what doesn't work In my life. I've been through huge challenges in the past year and with the support and fellowship of the program I've made it through the worst of...	Milehi-tlc	3	429	Dec 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	Today was another tough day.. (Preview) I again did not go to work. This depression has kicked my a** all do to the fact that all I worry and fear about my son that at this time does not want to talk to me. It's really hurts but what can I do. I love him and really need to work my program. God bless.. -- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 5th of December 2013 0...	Gaby	4	334	Dec 5, 2013 by milkwood
	Just saying hello (Preview) I've been feeling a bit disconnected recently. We live in a beautiful part of Italy and there really isn't anything wrong with life at the moment but it is sometimes a bit lonely here so I find myself feeling listless and unmotivated. It will pass. So despite the fact that I might not be good company t...	milkwood	27	686	Dec 5, 2013 by PP
	Down the rabbit hole. (Preview) Well. After over 2 weeks of hiding in his room, drinking, playing computer games, being a complete and utter A to me (interpret that how you will) and refusing to do anything about his job-situation, ABF's brother came to visit and managed to inspire him to come out of his room and rejoin the human race....	Melly1248	10	653	Dec 5, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Not making a decision (Preview) is making a decision. Aloha no family and this post is a response to some of the shares I've been reading this morning; the ones where the member speaks of deciding to take an action which may or may not be appropriate and/or work out positively...of course the oldtimers know that often times when oth...	Jerry F	4	469	Dec 4, 2013 by Tasha
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.