Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I used to go to a CoDA meeting a while back and really connected with the people there..After my Active A started drinking I finally went to quite a few Al-Anon meetings and met some very nice

mm830 · mm830

Okay, four months ago when I found MIP and dared to be myself, I read the promises and raised an eyebrow, well yeah I was skeptical. To say the least. But desperate. And I got more desperate. And finally I just turned it over because all of you are doing great and I was doing not so great. So, low and behold, i...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I know so many of you in the Northern hemisphere are enduring an extremely cold winter. So I thought I'd show you where I spent this afternoon, and where I will be spending most every afternoon for the rest of my daughters summer holidays Come and visit lol. It's finally warming up here!

Struggling · Struggling

My boyfriend has been an alcoholic for nearly ten years. We have been together for around one. Three weeks ago he came out of a 28 day rehabilitation program. To my knowledge, at least when I have been staying at out apartment he hasn't touched a drop since, the way his is certainly implies he hasn't also...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

As of today, AW will come and go as she pleases now but I will do what I did before I knew where she was coming and going to. I will keep me and my child busy with other kids with friends and family that love and support us. I will ask for the minimum in boundaries for now like I don't know how about listening to yo...

ryanhearted · ryanhearted

I am reading daily, Courage to Change and Language of Letting Go. I'm trying to do 90 meetings in 90 days, and work got in the way of that. And I am frustrated. I'm trying to be gentle with myself and know that I am doing my best. But I've pulled in a 11 hr day yesterday, and a 10 hr day today, and tomorrow isn't l...

grateful2be · grateful2be

If you're trying to get any of us Midwesterners and east coasters to take pity on you wrapped pathetically in that afghan in ARIZONA!!, it's not happening.

Tricia911 · Tricia911

As I continue to take my inventory I have noted I react with sarcasm when I am hurt and don't know quite what to say. As I spent time with my mother I noted I learned it from a good source. Gotta work on that one. I thought I was being witty. But, as my mothers sarcasm stung me I realized I was actually hurting pe...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I can not understand why so many people are offended by just that fact. I wish more people had al-anon and can just respect that we are all individuals with different beliefs, thoughts and opinions and it does not have to take away or threaten them. I have many friends who are not traditional Christian...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

High Expectations are counter to my serenity. Now if I could just push the "expectations off" button!

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

So last night I stayed away from our place with our daughter. Predictably AW exploded with rage. How dare I take our daughter how dare I keep her away from AW. Everyone on MIP was right AW became a cornered badger when she was confronted by Friends and family with what she's done by leaving the night befor...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Yeah it's at least negative 20 degrees here and well that is just cold! Keep warm and stay safe everyone!

mm830 · mm830

Grrr, grr, lies. I guess if I expect bread from a hardware store then no shock when there is no bread. Duh. Oddly I have no desire to say anything about the issue, why would I expect different? To me this is big, big progress for myself. Why fight about it or feel disappointed or anything more than the I don'...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just had a Al anon anniversary on Saturday! I hope a lot of people read this! I am so grateful that I kept coming back. My official first meeting was on a Friday I believe in Napa, CA. I was nervous & wasn't sure why I was there. I mean, I knew about AA but didn't see the need for Al anon quite yet. A couple o...

PP · PP

I have feelings of fear/anxiety today and I have feelings of peace/hope, too. I am going for a stress echo tomorrow as I have been experiencing chest pains, pressure and burning in the heart area. There is a history of heart disease in my family on both sides and my younger sister needed a minor repai...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

My AW came home at 2 am and begged me to forgive her. Said her new meds had kicked in and she felt remorse for wrecking our family. Admitted the affair with the coworker said she made A bug mess of our lives. I was so happy she came home it was so good to hear her say those things. All morning I could barely sleep...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well, i posted my day w/daughter and at the club...made some remarks about some "flashers" goin around with almost nothing on and really need covering up... I hope i did not offend anyone poking fun at these crazy people...I hope my clarifying on my post was proper amend, but right now???...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Interesting. I usually make a point of not thinking too much about what is going on inside my A's mind or body, because I don't want to bring out the "nurse" in me. In fact I think I made a deliberate effort not to concentrate during the part of my course last year that dealt with alcohol-relate...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

What am I supposed to do to get past the anger of my AW setting me up for a big fall by apologizing and then leaving. I am awake again my poor toddler is asleep she keeps asking for AW where did she go? How come she did not come home?. It's one thing to kick me maybe I'm the sad codependent dog who deserves to get k...

Beatrice · Beatrice

"YOU CANNOT SOLVE A PROBLEM WITH THE SAME MIND THAT CREATED IT." EINSTEIN

neshema2 · neshema2

Taken from Todays GiftWe, too, the children of the earth, have our moon phases all through any year; the darkness, the delivery from darkness, the waxing and waning.******************************** Sometimes , a lot, I wonder why, when the whole world around me cycles and breathes, I imagine t...

el-cee · el-cee

I went back to work today and I decided to walk to get my lift, it was dark, the wind was howling and the rain came on like torrential rain, the walk takes me past an exposed piece of land and I felt right there I had two choices - feel really sorry for me being battered by this weather and set myself up for a rubb...

heythere · heythere

This week my Addict son is suppose to go to court, in 2 different counties, the one we live in and then another court 60 miles away. He is on unsupervised probation in both counties, one for dui and one for a minor offense. Anyway, he has violated probation in both counties and is looking at jail time, ma...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I went out to my garage as the winter weather battered my house and gusts of wind shifted and re-shifted the fallen snow. I felt the swirling of dire weather reports and the excited voices of newscasters as they foolishly stood on highways to "show us" just how "bad" everything...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I've been put on alert. I've been blessed for such a long time and HP wanted to let me know that I'm still human and subject to "humaness". Friday tried to finish a bathroom remodel for a client and thought (lol) I had all my ducks in line and then of course learned "you don't take a duck...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

Well predictably my AW spent the entire night out only to text me this morning that she was sorry and she was coming home to recover with me and our daughter. And spent the entire day calling and texting me to engage in a conversation. I refused. I cannot listen to anymore lies. I enlisted the help of famil...

Beatrice · Beatrice

There are 2 rules regarding Children. 1. You never ask them to deal with adult issues. 2. You never hold them responsible for things they can't control. Unk

ryanhearted · ryanhearted

my AH decided to drink again on New Year's Eve. It included me being freaked out & thinking he was going into a diabetic coma, and realizing that, after running to the store to get batteries for the glucometer, panicking that my daughter was alone with him & something would happen to him during...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Not sure exactly what is wrong with me, but I am fully triggered and moody. I wonder of my exAH was able to make it through the Packer game last night sober with my 5 year old, I hate that I failed a class last semester and now have to take a semester off to catch back up, I am just not feeling healthy right now so...

stephaniej · stephaniej

He is several hundred miles away, working. Things are generally as they have been for the past few years. We spoke around 4:00 this afternoon, and he was clearly very, very drunk and he said he was sitting in his truck in the bar's parking lot. He told me he had been in a fight, because another guy at th...

midori · midori

Hi again, I wanted to refrain posting or at least digest a little more of everything that has been said since my first post. Yet I feel deeply compelled to come back since things have worsened since. My mom has always been a really heavy drinker and for a while it was really bad. Yet over the years, she curb...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well, i don't talk about my work b/c it is not alanon, but there is a power struggle going on at my biggest job and the dad who hired me is slowing down...i got stuck w/his middle son who does not care for me...His beef against me is that I do not go to church.....I can't do anything right by him...Had a long ta...

lmyya · lmyya

I am trying to focus on only myself. I am trying to find happiness and strength, like I always had before. If I didn't have a child, that would definitely mean moving out immediately, running long distance again, having friends over frequently, getting involved with the university et cetera. It woul...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi, My name is slogan_Jim and I am grateful member of al-anon. I have noticed something about me that is related to someone's drinking and I want to address it. I have an old friend that I have stopped talking to because I feel I can read all the patterns and they resemble strongly those of my father. I cut t...

John · John

Won't go into any details, but 2014 started showing itself to be a good year right off the bat. Got a check for work I did almost 2 years ago and had given up on ever getting, got several very good, well paying jobs back to back, bought and sold a car (1998 Cadillac DeVille) and while I didn't make any real m...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well when plan A isn't available (sponsor) go to plan B (recovery friend)...I worked step one, I don't feel alone, my Creator is with me...when I let go...detach....do my best--surrender the rest, I find my balance again.....I have been "ok" this far, I will stay ok, I guess... Headed of...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Good afternoon everyone! Well, I just got the message that my roommate is going to be on his way tonight...depending on what time "tonight" is for him, he may be here very soon for me. I have a houseful of junk and mess that my A has made, and of course has done nothing about all week. That's his u...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

Last night was possibly harder than any night to date in the past two months. I posted and posted and went to the chat room and vented an vented. At 11:45pm I sent AW a message I said this is a boundary for me and for our daughter. You are not to come back here until you get clean. I told her If she did not come hom...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I hope everyone had a safe and Happy New Year and Christmas (if you celebrate that). For the first time in a long time..our Christmas went really well..we opened gifts at home then went to my sister's house and then my uncle's house (my dad's brother)..it was hard not to be anxious but very surprisingly...

midori · midori

Hi. I'm new. So there may be a few blunders or redundancies. I'm not quite sure how I got here, what particular train of thought let me to Google, or why I felt compelled to search "who else is sick of alcohol?" But it led me straight to this forum and here I am. It's not like anything really bad h...

Gaby · Gaby

My son called said he is done living this life..! He said he needs medical help.. All the other times I would put him in sober livings or Christian rehabs. But he admits that it maybe more then that. I don't know if I doing right, but I will take him to seek medical help and see how true he is about this. This is...

texas yankee · texas yankee

Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al Anon talks about detachment - it has always been one of my big challenges - I think I understand part of detachment, about not jumping in to fix things and letting the alcoholic \ addict have responsibility for his \ her actions - but in today's reading it talks abo...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56158773/step-9-alanon/

oldergal · oldergal

There it is Jerry, you put it in a nutshell: Projection, Fortune Telling and Expectations.... isn't that what we think is going to work for us! Until we wake up to Al-anon.....! og

neshema2 · neshema2

I was outside, getting ready to brave the cold and go to the club...hoodie on, and i notice that my little shrub that i nursed through summer, trying to keep it alive, finally died...I was sad, but dug up the little shriveled thing that was dry as a bone..No life in it and i look up and daughter #2 is pulling...

barbaralewis · barbaralewis

i can understand why each group has steps, but if it is "not my fault" and beyond my control, then what does the alanon-er have to confess to and make amends to/for? why are the steps the same? it seems like that means it IS my fault. it sure makes you feel like a failure when both of your children...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Ohana...My HP loves me unconditionally and loves to see me smile and laugh. Yesterday I went to my "other" morning home meeting "at the bay" and I got there just a minute late cause first things first...breakfast with my spouse (priority in the marriage) and as I was wa...

Anise · Anise

I am so confused about my AH. We went on a family holiday for a week over Christmas. It went very well because my AH didn't drink too much. But as soon as we got home he was back at it. When he is home he sits at the computer playing a game all day (pretty much from the time he gets up til he goes to bed) and drinking...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

It looks like the roommate thing is a go. I talked to the guy last night, and he most likely will be here on Tuesday. Money's going to be tight at first while the roommate finds a job, but it's not an issue to me because I've been living this way for a long time and I've made it...so far so good :) My son is also on...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

So I got home from California this morning and she was packed. Told me she wanted a divorce, said she would not stop seeing the other woman. That she hated me that she had been unhappy since we met and that I was the reason she drank and never smiled. I knew this was coming like a coiled serpent waiting to spr...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I started out writing this for myself because my thoughts and feelings are so scattered and sometimes I write more clearly than I think. I decided to post it since I could use a little ESH and it may help someone else out too. The things that I wanted for my AH are happening. He is making a legitimate attemp...

MorningGlory · MorningGlory

Hi Everyone! We live in the Northeast. Husband and I both have to get to work in the am and I also drop my youngest adult child at the train station (he commutes to work). Well, last night as my husband was watching the impending snowstorm on the news, he comments, "So, what am I doing tomorrow?"...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

So out of the blue he says........I've had enough. He called his AA buddies, got his supplies (vitamins, juice, water) and so it began. He only asked me to watch him in case it got so bad that he had to go to the hospital. I said, "sure I can do that." He was sick but got thru it. At about day 4 h...

neshema2 · neshema2

Today i had my eval at the club.... young hard body little lady approaches me and shakes my hand and takes me to her office for the health questions....then she asks me my age....i tell her and she looks at me like i am NUTS!!!! Good feeing for me....I am gonna like this girl.....she was no way believing i...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Sigh. Ooops. Had a 2 day "honeymoon" as ABF "quit" drinking on New years Day and was charming, sweet and delightful for the duration of his sobriety. I know better than to believe it is anything more than a blip, but it's hard not to enjoy the relaxed, friendly atmosphere when it m...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm thinking about you all in the east during this show storm. Prayers that you stay warm and safe. I wish I could send a little sun from AZ.....this pic taken at work. -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Friday 3rd of January 2014 11:16:29 PM

lgnutah · lgnutah

This morning I woke with a cough/cold/headache so just lounging on sofanwatching rose bowl and some morning talk show excerpt. They interviewed author of "just one word". He said people rarely keep list of new years resolutions. His idea (abbreviated by me, as I understand it) is inst...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

I just landed in JFK. In about an hour I will be f2f with my AW. During my long flight home I had a lot of time to read posts and think about detachment and boundaries. I decided that I will need a boundary if this marraige has a chance. I will go to couples counseling. I will encourage family activities. But f...

atheos · atheos

I've decided I want to start every morning off with 10-15 minutes of Al-Anon related activity. Sort of a daily practice to keep me grounded in the program and get the day off to a positive start. Read from a daily reader and... something! I haven't figured out what the "something" should be y...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Al-Anon meetings vs. Co-Dependency Anon. meetings..which is better? (Preview) I used to go to a CoDA meeting a while back and really connected with the people there..After my Active A started drinking I finally went to quite a few Al-Anon meetings and met some very nice	phoenixmagicgirl	5	2110	Jan 8, 2014 by abbyal
	Holy Wow it Works (Preview) Okay, four months ago when I found MIP and dared to be myself, I read the promises and raised an eyebrow, well yeah I was skeptical. To say the least. But desperate. And I got more desperate. And finally I just turned it over because all of you are doing great and I was doing not so great. So, low and behold, i...	mm830	12	387	Jan 8, 2014 by TryingHard2013
	To warm you all. (Preview) I know so many of you in the Northern hemisphere are enduring an extremely cold winter. So I thought I'd show you where I spent this afternoon, and where I will be spending most every afternoon for the rest of my daughters summer holidays Come and visit lol. It's finally warming up here!	Melly1248	10	357	Jan 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Partner skipping AA. Advice greatly appreciated. Aa skipping skipping meetings missing aa lying worried after rehabilitation (Preview) My boyfriend has been an alcoholic for nearly ten years. We have been together for around one. Three weeks ago he came out of a 28 day rehabilitation program. To my knowledge, at least when I have been staying at out apartment he hasn't touched a drop since, the way his is certainly implies he hasn't also...	Struggling	11	10703	Jan 8, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	This moment (Preview) As of today, AW will come and go as she pleases now but I will do what I did before I knew where she was coming and going to. I will keep me and my child busy with other kids with friends and family that love and support us. I will ask for the minimum in boundaries for now like I don't know how about listening to yo...	TryingHard2013	11	470	Jan 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Why is it so hard? (Preview) I am reading daily, Courage to Change and Language of Letting Go. I'm trying to do 90 meetings in 90 days, and work got in the way of that. And I am frustrated. I'm trying to be gentle with myself and know that I am doing my best. But I've pulled in a 11 hr day yesterday, and a 10 hr day today, and tomorrow isn't l...	ryanhearted	10	457	Jan 8, 2014 by Mari1978
	Note to CathyinAz (Preview) If you're trying to get any of us Midwesterners and east coasters to take pity on you wrapped pathetically in that afghan in ARIZONA!!, it's not happening.	grateful2be	24	747	Jan 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sarcasm is a personal defect (Preview) As I continue to take my inventory I have noted I react with sarcasm when I am hurt and don't know quite what to say. As I spent time with my mother I noted I learned it from a good source. Gotta work on that one. I thought I was being witty. But, as my mothers sarcasm stung me I realized I was actually hurting pe...	Tricia911	12	4146	Jan 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	God is my HP....... (Preview) I can not understand why so many people are offended by just that fact. I wish more people had al-anon and can just respect that we are all individuals with different beliefs, thoughts and opinions and it does not have to take away or threaten them. I have many friends who are not traditional Christian...	Breakingfree	10	354	Jan 8, 2014 by PP
	Expectation Management (Preview) High Expectations are counter to my serenity. Now if I could just push the "expectations off" button!	Tricia911	7	637	Jan 8, 2014 by PP
	Boundaries hold for the night and AW's anger returns (Preview) So last night I stayed away from our place with our daughter. Predictably AW exploded with rage. How dare I take our daughter how dare I keep her away from AW. Everyone on MIP was right AW became a cornered badger when she was confronted by Friends and family with what she's done by leaving the night befor...	TryingHard2013	11	558	Jan 8, 2014 by Breakingfree
	In response to Cathyinaz haha! (Preview) Yeah it's at least negative 20 degrees here and well that is just cold! Keep warm and stay safe everyone!	Breakingfree	11	390	Jan 8, 2014 by Breakingfree
	A Mixed Bag (Preview) Grrr, grr, lies. I guess if I expect bread from a hardware store then no shock when there is no bread. Duh. Oddly I have no desire to say anything about the issue, why would I expect different? To me this is big, big progress for myself. Why fight about it or feel disappointed or anything more than the I don'...	mm830	22	629	Jan 8, 2014 by ryanhearted
	28 years on Saturday... (Preview) I just had a Al anon anniversary on Saturday! I hope a lot of people read this! I am so grateful that I kept coming back. My official first meeting was on a Friday I believe in Napa, CA. I was nervous & wasn't sure why I was there. I mean, I knew about AA but didn't see the need for Al anon quite yet. A couple o...	Hoot Nanny	8	539	Jan 8, 2014 by ryanhearted
	Prayers of support (Preview) I have feelings of fear/anxiety today and I have feelings of peace/hope, too. I am going for a stress echo tomorrow as I have been experiencing chest pains, pressure and burning in the heart area. There is a history of heart disease in my family on both sides and my younger sister needed a minor repai...	PP	30	625	Jan 8, 2014 by ryanhearted
	AW leaves at 10pm to come back at 2am to beg forgiveness to leave at noon (Preview) My AW came home at 2 am and begged me to forgive her. Said her new meds had kicked in and she felt remorse for wrecking our family. Admitted the affair with the coworker said she made A bug mess of our lives. I was so happy she came home it was so good to hear her say those things. All morning I could barely sleep...	TryingHard2013	17	589	Jan 8, 2014 by ryanhearted
	knocking off for evening....swimmer's ear ache bearing down on me (Preview) Well, i posted my day w/daughter and at the club...made some remarks about some "flashers" goin around with almost nothing on and really need covering up... I hope i did not offend anyone poking fun at these crazy people...I hope my clarifying on my post was proper amend, but right now???...	neshema2	3	242	Jan 7, 2014 by lgnutah
	Funny for Today (Preview)	Cathyinaz	10	421	Jan 7, 2014 by MorningGlory
	Wet brain. (Preview) Interesting. I usually make a point of not thinking too much about what is going on inside my A's mind or body, because I don't want to bring out the "nurse" in me. In fact I think I made a deliberate effort not to concentrate during the part of my course last year that dealt with alcohol-relate...	Melly1248	18	3905	Jan 7, 2014 by Rose50
	Drowning In anger and sadness and blind with rage (Preview) What am I supposed to do to get past the anger of my AW setting me up for a big fall by apologizing and then leaving. I am awake again my poor toddler is asleep she keeps asking for AW where did she go? How come she did not come home?. It's one thing to kick me maybe I'm the sad codependent dog who deserves to get k...	TryingHard2013	11	622	Jan 7, 2014 by TryingHard2013
	Meditation, Quotes (Preview) "YOU CANNOT SOLVE A PROBLEM WITH THE SAME MIND THAT CREATED IT." EINSTEIN	Beatrice	6	1035	Jan 7, 2014 by Beatrice
	phases of the moon and me.... (Preview) Taken from Todays GiftWe, too, the children of the earth, have our moon phases all through any year; the darkness, the delivery from darkness, the waxing and waning.******************************** Sometimes , a lot, I wonder why, when the whole world around me cycles and breathes, I imagine t...	neshema2	5	425	Jan 7, 2014 by TryingHard2013
	A good day!! (Preview) I went back to work today and I decided to walk to get my lift, it was dark, the wind was howling and the rain came on like torrential rain, the walk takes me past an exposed piece of land and I felt right there I had two choices - feel really sorry for me being battered by this weather and set myself up for a rubb...	el-cee	7	320	Jan 7, 2014 by Melly1248
	Trying to stay on my side of the road, it's hard :( (Preview) This week my Addict son is suppose to go to court, in 2 different counties, the one we live in and then another court 60 miles away. He is on unsupervised probation in both counties, one for dui and one for a minor offense. Anyway, he has violated probation in both counties and is looking at jail time, ma...	heythere	11	397	Jan 7, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Letting go of things that don't support my sense of well-being (Preview) I went out to my garage as the winter weather battered my house and gusts of wind shifted and re-shifted the fallen snow. I felt the swirling of dire weather reports and the excited voices of newscasters as they foolishly stood on highways to "show us" just how "bad" everything...	grateful2be	22	608	Jan 7, 2014 by Melly1248
	Okay....Next!! (Preview) I've been put on alert. I've been blessed for such a long time and HP wanted to let me know that I'm still human and subject to "humaness". Friday tried to finish a bathroom remodel for a client and thought (lol) I had all my ducks in line and then of course learned "you don't take a duck...	Jerry F	9	324	Jan 7, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	AW fights when Boundaries hold firm (Preview) Well predictably my AW spent the entire night out only to text me this morning that she was sorry and she was coming home to recover with me and our daughter. And spent the entire day calling and texting me to engage in a conversation. I refused. I cannot listen to anymore lies. I enlisted the help of famil...	TryingHard2013	20	597	Jan 7, 2014 by Beatrice
	2 RULES ABOUT CHILDREN (Preview) There are 2 rules regarding Children. 1. You never ask them to deal with adult issues. 2. You never hold them responsible for things they can't control. Unk	Beatrice	3	360	Jan 7, 2014 by ryanhearted
	I don't know how to handle this anymore (Preview) my AH decided to drink again on New Year's Eve. It included me being freaked out & thinking he was going into a diabetic coma, and realizing that, after running to the store to get batteries for the glucometer, panicking that my daughter was alone with him & something would happen to him during...	ryanhearted	21	723	Jan 7, 2014 by ryanhearted
	Here it goes a pity pot kind of morning (long one) (Preview) Not sure exactly what is wrong with me, but I am fully triggered and moody. I wonder of my exAH was able to make it through the Packer game last night sober with my 5 year old, I hate that I failed a class last semester and now have to take a semester off to catch back up, I am just not feeling healthy right now so...	Breakingfree	13	440	Jan 7, 2014 by Breakingfree
	So, my AH got in a bar fight today (Preview) He is several hundred miles away, working. Things are generally as they have been for the past few years. We spoke around 4:00 this afternoon, and he was clearly very, very drunk and he said he was sitting in his truck in the bar's parking lot. He told me he had been in a fight, because another guy at th...	stephaniej	5	401	Jan 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	How to avoid judgement, watching over... (Preview) Hi again, I wanted to refrain posting or at least digest a little more of everything that has been said since my first post. Yet I feel deeply compelled to come back since things have worsened since. My mom has always been a really heavy drinker and for a while it was really bad. Yet over the years, she curb...	midori	10	430	Jan 6, 2014 by sadsusie
	feeling needy and aprehensive----time to call sponsor (Preview) Well, i don't talk about my work b/c it is not alanon, but there is a power struggle going on at my biggest job and the dad who hired me is slowing down...i got stuck w/his middle son who does not care for me...His beef against me is that I do not go to church.....I can't do anything right by him...Had a long ta...	neshema2	7	477	Jan 6, 2014 by Tasha
	We have a baby, I don't know how to detach (Preview) I am trying to focus on only myself. I am trying to find happiness and strength, like I always had before. If I didn't have a child, that would definitely mean moving out immediately, running long distance again, having friends over frequently, getting involved with the university et cetera. It woul...	lmyya	9	476	Jan 6, 2014 by grateful2be
	An alcoholic friend/anger. (Preview) Hi, My name is slogan_Jim and I am grateful member of al-anon. I have noticed something about me that is related to someone's drinking and I want to address it. I have an old friend that I have stopped talking to because I feel I can read all the patterns and they resemble strongly those of my father. I cut t...	slogan_jim	6	496	Jan 6, 2014 by cwya
	A woman can surely bring a lot of change into my life... with a quickness! LOL (PICTURES NOW WORK!) (Preview) Won't go into any details, but 2014 started showing itself to be a good year right off the bat. Got a check for work I did almost 2 years ago and had given up on ever getting, got several very good, well paying jobs back to back, bought and sold a car (1998 Cadillac DeVille) and while I didn't make any real m...	John	16	588	Jan 6, 2014 by kismetstrand
	sponsor out--step one w/a friend---off to club to get grounded (Preview) Well when plan A isn't available (sponsor) go to plan B (recovery friend)...I worked step one, I don't feel alone, my Creator is with me...when I let go...detach....do my best--surrender the rest, I find my balance again.....I have been "ok" this far, I will stay ok, I guess... Headed of...	neshema2	2	331	Jan 6, 2014 by PP
	Praying for change...prayers needed! (Preview) Good afternoon everyone! Well, I just got the message that my roommate is going to be on his way tonight...depending on what time "tonight" is for him, he may be here very soon for me. I have a houseful of junk and mess that my A has made, and of course has done nothing about all week. That's his u...	Raven Juniper	8	539	Jan 6, 2014 by neshema2
	Day 6 - making a choice setting a boundary (Preview) Last night was possibly harder than any night to date in the past two months. I posted and posted and went to the chat room and vented an vented. At 11:45pm I sent AW a message I said this is a boundary for me and for our daughter. You are not to come back here until you get clean. I told her If she did not come hom...	TryingHard2013	7	457	Jan 6, 2014 by milkwood
	Happy New Year! (Preview) I hope everyone had a safe and Happy New Year and Christmas (if you celebrate that). For the first time in a long time..our Christmas went really well..we opened gifts at home then went to my sister's house and then my uncle's house (my dad's brother)..it was hard not to be anxious but very surprisingly...	phoenixmagicgirl	2	211	Jan 6, 2014 by PP
	I. Hate. Alcohol. (Preview) Hi. I'm new. So there may be a few blunders or redundancies. I'm not quite sure how I got here, what particular train of thought let me to Google, or why I felt compelled to search "who else is sick of alcohol?" But it led me straight to this forum and here I am. It's not like anything really bad h...	midori	22	732	Jan 6, 2014 by phoenixmagicgirl
	When do you know they want help?? (Preview) My son called said he is done living this life..! He said he needs medical help.. All the other times I would put him in sober livings or Christian rehabs. But he admits that it maybe more then that. I don't know if I doing right, but I will take him to seek medical help and see how true he is about this. This is...	Gaby	14	600	Jan 5, 2014 by Debilyn
	Guidance on detaching WITH LOVE ?? (Preview) Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al Anon talks about detachment - it has always been one of my big challenges - I think I understand part of detachment, about not jumping in to fix things and letting the alcoholic \ addict have responsibility for his \ her actions - but in today's reading it talks abo...	texas yankee	23	642	Jan 5, 2014 by texas yankee
	Step 9 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56158773/step-9-alanon/	hotrod	0	325	Jan 5, 2014 by hotrod
	P F & E (Preview) There it is Jerry, you put it in a nutshell: Projection, Fortune Telling and Expectations.... isn't that what we think is going to work for us! Until we wake up to Al-anon.....! og	oldergal	3	263	Jan 5, 2014 by karma13
	Detachment and yes...With Love (Preview) I was outside, getting ready to brave the cold and go to the club...hoodie on, and i notice that my little shrub that i nursed through summer, trying to keep it alive, finally died...I was sad, but dug up the little shriveled thing that was dry as a bone..No life in it and i look up and daughter #2 is pulling...	neshema2	3	415	Jan 5, 2014 by PP
	why are aa, na, and alanon steps all the same? (Preview) i can understand why each group has steps, but if it is "not my fault" and beyond my control, then what does the alanon-er have to confess to and make amends to/for? why are the steps the same? it seems like that means it IS my fault. it sure makes you feel like a failure when both of your children...	barbaralewis	11	523	Jan 5, 2014 by barbaralewis
	Blessed...really (Preview) Aloha Ohana...My HP loves me unconditionally and loves to see me smile and laugh. Yesterday I went to my "other" morning home meeting "at the bay" and I got there just a minute late cause first things first...breakfast with my spouse (priority in the marriage) and as I was wa...	Jerry F	7	338	Jan 5, 2014 by hotrod
	I'm so scared for him. (Preview) I am so confused about my AH. We went on a family holiday for a week over Christmas. It went very well because my AH didn't drink too much. But as soon as we got home he was back at it. When he is home he sits at the computer playing a game all day (pretty much from the time he gets up til he goes to bed) and drinking...	Anise	8	476	Jan 5, 2014 by Breakingfree
	So far so good... (Preview) It looks like the roommate thing is a go. I talked to the guy last night, and he most likely will be here on Tuesday. Money's going to be tight at first while the roommate finds a job, but it's not an issue to me because I've been living this way for a long time and I've made it...so far so good :) My son is also on...	Raven Juniper	4	388	Jan 5, 2014 by Raven Juniper
	My AW left today (Preview) So I got home from California this morning and she was packed. Told me she wanted a divorce, said she would not stop seeing the other woman. That she hated me that she had been unhappy since we met and that I was the reason she drank and never smiled. I knew this was coming like a coiled serpent waiting to spr...	TryingHard2013	10	575	Jan 5, 2014 by Beatrice
	Very Aware of Time Slipping By (Preview) I started out writing this for myself because my thoughts and feelings are so scattered and sometimes I write more clearly than I think. I decided to post it since I could use a little ESH and it may help someone else out too. The things that I wanted for my AH are happening. He is making a legitimate attemp...	wornoutmrsfixit	18	776	Jan 5, 2014 by likemyheart
	No Fishing Allowed (Preview) Hi Everyone! We live in the Northeast. Husband and I both have to get to work in the am and I also drop my youngest adult child at the train station (he commutes to work). Well, last night as my husband was watching the impending snowstorm on the news, he comments, "So, what am I doing tomorrow?"...	MorningGlory	12	471	Jan 5, 2014 by MorningGlory
	He decided to stop and it got worse.... (Preview) So out of the blue he says........I've had enough. He called his AA buddies, got his supplies (vitamins, juice, water) and so it began. He only asked me to watch him in case it got so bad that he had to go to the hospital. I said, "sure I can do that." He was sick but got thru it. At about day 4 h...	jillybean1	12	629	Jan 5, 2014 by MorningGlory
	when being called a "freak" feels good (Preview) Today i had my eval at the club.... young hard body little lady approaches me and shakes my hand and takes me to her office for the health questions....then she asks me my age....i tell her and she looks at me like i am NUTS!!!! Good feeing for me....I am gonna like this girl.....she was no way believing i...	neshema2	10	505	Jan 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	Made myself feel icky. Now what? (Preview) Sigh. Ooops. Had a 2 day "honeymoon" as ABF "quit" drinking on New years Day and was charming, sweet and delightful for the duration of his sobriety. I know better than to believe it is anything more than a blip, but it's hard not to enjoy the relaxed, friendly atmosphere when it m...	Melly1248	26	763	Jan 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	Take care Friend in the East (Preview) I'm thinking about you all in the east during this show storm. Prayers that you stay warm and safe. I wish I could send a little sun from AZ.....this pic taken at work. -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Friday 3rd of January 2014 11:16:29 PM	Cathyinaz	27	579	Jan 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	my "one word" (Preview) This morning I woke with a cough/cold/headache so just lounging on sofanwatching rose bowl and some morning talk show excerpt. They interviewed author of "just one word". He said people rarely keep list of new years resolutions. His idea (abbreviated by me, as I understand it) is inst...	lgnutah	17	1052	Jan 4, 2014 by Tricia911
	Courage and boundaries (Preview) I just landed in JFK. In about an hour I will be f2f with my AW. During my long flight home I had a lot of time to read posts and think about detachment and boundaries. I decided that I will need a boundary if this marraige has a chance. I will go to couples counseling. I will encourage family activities. But f...	TryingHard2013	9	473	Jan 4, 2014 by neshema2
	Anyone have a morning Al-Anon routine? (Preview) I've decided I want to start every morning off with 10-15 minutes of Al-Anon related activity. Sort of a daily practice to keep me grounded in the program and get the day off to a positive start. Read from a daily reader and... something! I haven't figured out what the "something" should be y...	atheos	11	1085	Jan 4, 2014 by abbyal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.