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So out of the blue he says........I've had enough. He called his AA buddies, got his supplies (vitamins, juice, water) and so it began. He only asked me to watch him in case it got so bad that he had to go to the hospital. I said, "sure I can do that." He was sick but got thru it. At about day 4 he started having hallucinations...vision, hearing things and taste.....I called his AA buddy who said it was ER time. I took him to the ER (he didn't want to go) and he was admitted with low potassium and still hallucinating. The hospital social worker said he should go to in-patient.......I always suggest his to him but he refuses. Then the social worker surprised me with a visit from child protective services to see if the kids were in danger from a hallucinating dad. Great so now I am forced to make a decision. I now have to try to convince him into rehab or keep him out of the house to keep the state off my back. All this because he decided to STOP drinking....UGH Well at least my boundary line has been drawn even if the state had to draw it for me. I have to take care of the kids and he will have to fend for himself. And why do these intervention people try to get everyone into florida rehabs? are they better that the ones in other states???
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
I had an experience last month that scared me watching someone detox. It's very hard to watch and I really didn't know what I was in for. I don't know about Florida rehabs I have heard of some really good ones there. Some of the best ones are in the Midwest, Hazelton is really great. It does sound like hp stepped in and made a hard decision for everyone. Hugs ..
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Some of this gets scary...bad scary and alcoholism is a fatal disease if not arrested by total abstinence...Hallucinations are just one piece of evidence of the insanity (chemically induced) of this disease. If he is still resistant I wouldn't suggest that you become responsible for him. Do what you're doing now...taking care of you and the kids and your needs. Turn him over to a Higher Power and detach cause as the first step tells us "...we are powerless and..." Hope he bounces hard off of his bottom; enough to encourage him to get into rehab. Keep coming back Jilly...hang with us and listen and learn what we have. ((((hugs))))
I agree with Jerry that it can become very scary and it can also become dangerous, so please continue to take good care of yourself and your children.
My daughter was young and it seemed harmful for her to have exposure to his extreme intoxications and detoxication. Sometimes he could do it without medical supervision and sometimes he couldn't. I did not feel qualified to take responsibility (detox seizures would be a reason to call paramedics); there was one time I gave him the choice of the hospital, or his parent's house (his Dad was a MD) and drove him to his parent's.
I don't know why or why not Florida; it was suggested to me that it was easier entry- some of the closer facilities fill quickly. He went to a local facility.
I have to agree, there must be HP in progress with that. Take good care of yourself and your children and keep coming back. I don't know about the Florida rehabs, but I'm glad you were able to get him in. It is a scary place for all of you. Take care!!
My AW decided to go to inpatient when she got a DUI and sat in jail without bond for a week. Sometimes HP works through the law. And those are pretty easy boundaries to enforce.
And either way he leaves the house, whether in rehab or not, it sounds like. One more motivation HP is giving him to get his act together.
Please do take care with CPS, to me the thought of losing kids is much more scarey than losing A.
I don't know about FL inpatient, my AW was just at one in the Midwest that we were very happy with.
The mess did not happen from stopping. It happened from not stopping sooner and just from untreated alcoholism in general. Neither of you can afford to look at his sobering up as negative. The kids may not be in danger but a drunk dad is not a good dad. Period. Consequences of his actions. Stay strong JB.
Florida rehabs...snicker. Part of it is because the recovery community is so large here. People often move here after rehab. Also there are so many AA meetings and they drive them to outside meetings at night. Other areas do not have enough outside meetings to accommodate the rehab clients like Florida.
Some of this gets scary...bad scary and alcoholism is a fatal disease if not arrested by total abstinence...Hallucinations are just one piece of evidence of the insanity (chemically induced) of this disease. If he is still resistant I wouldn't suggest that you become responsible for him. Do what you're doing now...taking care of you and the kids and your needs. Turn him over to a Higher Power and detach cause as the first step tells us "...we are powerless and..." Hope he bounces hard off of his bottom; enough to encourage him to get into rehab. Keep coming back Jilly...hang with us and listen and learn what we have. ((((hugs))))
I agree with Jerry, I, too, hope he slams into the concrete bottom and is forced into recovery....and the kids need you., I would let him fend for himself.....WOW...Hallucinations.....That has to be awful to see.....AND if he refuses recovery, this disease is gonna take him down big time.....His health , if not already destroyed, is headed in that direction......I am soo grateful to Creator, I decided to not ever live with that again...So sorry ...Please keep working alanon...You cannot , if you keep him, handle this load alone...You will need alanon and the meetings, sponsor to guide you with the steps, slogans, you will need ALL of alanon to cope with this.....There is no way you can do this w/out alanon....So keep coming back..For you and those innocent kids...
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
thanks to everyone!!! I went to hospital and he got checked out, I asked to see his house keys and took them off the key ring......said "you can't come home," and the reason why I was expecting a fight but he looked at me with (finally) sober eyes and said "what do I do?" I told him he probably had limited choices and turned him over to the hospital social worker. Then I left. the social worker called later and said he had chosen a florida rehab (because they could get him in that day) the local ones were all booked up. He made all his calls on his own (that's a new one for him) and only asked if I would drive him to the airport. which I did and I am glad that I didn't push him one way or another----he jumped into his own lifeboat. He wanted to just leave the hospital and come home and do AA (which I said was not a treatment program --- but a maintenance plan) He had no treatment plan. I have hope that this will stick.......today was exhausting------------especially the thought of telling him he was out of the house and what his response would be.....but it worked out and I plan on being supportive and being involved with the family part of his rehab ( by phone I guess?!) So thank you again and I plan to continue my f2f al anon and my counseling sessions to stay firm in my decisions.
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess)
