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he ended up being flown to Philadelphia for some kind of emergency surgery. I don't know what kind of surgery except that it was abdominal and no doubt exacerbated by his alcoholism. He named me as his emergency contact, but I have done no "contacting." I have come to the point of thinking that if he lives, ok, and if he doesn't, I did everything humanly possible to help him deal with his drinking. Believe me kiddies, it gets worse until it kills them unless they, on their own, get into a program which he has always refused to do.
But that was last year - this all happened on New Year's Eve. I am taking a new tack for 2014. I spent 13 years trying to help him, and to no avail. He simply does not have the will to get himself together. But I do have the will to get myself better. I have always known that I cannot cure him, but I have cried too many tears for too many years, beat myself up too often and too much because I could not help him. He's on his own. I have better things to do.
HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS!
Diva
-- Edited by Diva on Thursday 2nd of January 2014 08:04:47 AM
-- Edited by Diva on Thursday 2nd of January 2014 08:05:59 AM
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Sounds like you are making the right choice and off to a great start this new year. It's interesting how all our efforts to make them better, support, love etcetera don't make them change, before this program I would just try a new tactic and then tell the A oh I am crying so much because of you. Ugh, I don't even like to think about it that was just crazy. Good job Diva. Love your name, and this is a great share about letting go and loving yourself enough to stop the insanity. Good for you.
It's so great to see the New Years resolutions that hit home with me. Good for you for being able to detach from him. I was struck by the 13 years that you've been through this. I myself have been going through this for the last 2 years, with 2013 being the seesawing back and forth with recovery for him. I am done seesawing, though. I am resolving to take care of Me and my daughter this year. I can't help him. thank you for your post!! Happy New Year.
Believe me kiddies, it gets worse until it kills them unless they, on their own, get into a program which he has always refused to do.
. But I do have the will to get myself better. I have always known that I cannot cure him, but I have cried too many tears for too many years, beat myself up too often and too much because I could not help him. He's on his own. I have better things to do.
HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS!
Diva
-- Edited by Diva on Thursday 2nd of January 2014 08:04:47 AM
-- Edited by Diva on Thursday 2nd of January 2014 08:05:59 AM
hey Diva, i am really glad you decided to cut your losses and move on and take care of you....it would be different if he got into program and sustained sobriety for about 3 years minimum....then MAYBE there would be a chance for you guys
not this....if he is refusing?? its , like you said, only gonna get worse and there is nothing uglier than having to give end of life care to someone who doesn't even want to help themselves.....all ya can do is give him over to God and walk away....make your own life.......sounds like you are gonna be OK....and wiser....i wold get into meets...steps....slogans...find yourself..discover and love yourself so you never ever get into this situation again...that is what i did and am doing.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
