Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

milkwood · milkwood

AH and I have just restarted couples counselling and were asked to do a list of what we would like to share in our lives and what is separate. We worked on our lists individually and the difference in our approaches is huge. AH's list is full of emotions and feelings and states of being and my list is full...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

http://www.onecraftymother.com/2014/02/philip-seymour-hoffman-how-could-he.html?m=1

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello I'm posting today because I'm in my right mind . Since I been trying to heal me and find me and tend to me , I realize I'm a lot of work . I'm back to seeing my therepist who loves the fact I'm attempting to reach out for resource to help me . Just because my A sober 1 year is back to the cry pity and guilt trips...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I also feel like dancing & singing & being the best me I can be! I am so grateful today. I think I will go home later & blast my satellite radio! I have to relish & cherish the time I have to spend celebrating. One of my friends said we have the permission to be silly! I can do that every day. So...

JamesMS1984 · JamesMS1984

Dear All, Hi my name is James MS. I am a greatful member of Al-non for many years. This is my great attempt to carry the message of recovery in all my affiairs. When I first came to Al-non I was a mess. I was riddled with alcoholism and defects. My personal hygiene was terrible. I went to university in a out f...

Lyne · Lyne

I never really understood why members don't crosstalk in F2F meetings, but I got it this past Tuesday. We are each working on ourself. And that's why I respect everyone there. We are honestly trying to better ourselves, by self-reflection. It's actually really cool. I've just finished my firs...

astallaslions · astallaslions

I feel much like a hypocrite. I was spouting the importance of compassion and understanding to another on a board the night before, and now here I am, enraged. He was a week in. Yet, I am not surprised as he has done nothing to seek support. No meetings. No therapist or substance abuse counselor. He has ho...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

Al-Anon Meeting at 9PM EST tonight 2/7/14 in the chat room. Hope to see you all there!

Aloha · Aloha

Today I ran into a challenge that had me upset with a couple employees. We're going through a large change here in the business and I asked several of the staff members to communicate some of the changes with clients. I sent this via an email and almost immediately two of them started peppering me with em...

John · John

I have been working hard at bring our site up to date and bringing a new, fresh look to it. Please look around it, read the material on it, and then come back to to the message board and post under the Topic... "Site Facelift.. what do you think?" (This one) And tell me what you think of the changes that hav...

oldergal · oldergal

likemyheart · likemyheart

Sometimes I think of my journey with my ex-A, as bad as it was, as awful as it was to be screamed at, blamed, bullied - as bad as it was and as many tears as I cried, the pain that drove me to Al-Anon, the outcome, my now, was worth it. Yesterday someone calls me up to say he had bad news for me, my mind went to - some...

pinkchip · pinkchip

It's been more peaceful. The best program tool I came up with is "I am not God!" (as if thats a new thought). I always thought I understood that saying "there is a God and I am not it." I didn't realize I was making myself into some kind of God of rehab or something. I was hold...

Pamela1954 · Pamela1954

Things have not been good since my adult son got home from rehab. The plan is for him to get on his feet financially and move out in 2-3 months. We had been going in his room looking for evidence of him using and found questionable things. Our counselor says we are to back off so we have, but it is so hard. ...

Daughter · Daughter

I posted here nearly one month ago when my AM suddenly died in a tragic car accident after what we assume to be a night of binging. As I'm sure you all understand all too well, I was losing "my mom" for many years before that due to her disease. I have grieved the lost of the person I knew for so long...

atheos · atheos

(ESH = Experience, Strength, and Hope) For reasons I don't really want to get into right now, I grew up to be an extremely insecure person. I am utterly terrified of people finding out anything about me that will make them not like me, of embarrassing myself in front of others with awkward behavior -- I o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

There has been a LOT going on all positive a little frustrating .. it's just going to be what it's going to be at this point. Got a ton of snow dumped our direction. LOL .. that was fun .. I'm pretty much over winter and the white stuff .. it can go away until next year sometime. I got the job!! I'm sooo exci...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

I used to believe that I needed to be prepared for the worst always. I am learning a new way to prepare myself to be healthy and strong to deal with life's ups and downs instead. Gaining the confidence to maintain sanity through difficult times, and learning to enjoy the smallest of blessings every day....

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Still kicking away .. Went to a meeting this week and heard someone choose a topic of courage; said the topic of fear was negative ? In all my years of alanon, I have never heard one share that I perceived as negative .. funny coming from me who I thought was the most negative person I knew .. through the yea...

jen_nipher · jen_nipher

Hi everyone.. I was a member here a couple of years ago, and foolish me thought I was ok.. that my DH would give up the drink. He did for about 6 month. Now its worse than ever. I use to attend face to face meetings too but stopped it as well. Now I realize that wasn't very smart of me at all. I do know that it's no...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I'm pretty sure it's over. I made a pro/con list about staying married. The pros outweigh the cons, but not by much. I don't think we can give each other what we need any more. I don't think we even know what we need any more. I wish he were financially secure enough that I could just leave. I don't care...

oldergal · oldergal

Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference. Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. ~Art Buchwald If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance. ~Andrea Boydston I don't wan...

Alanon member and online tech · cwya

Can someone explain to me how to access the drafts saved of posts I write. Several times I have spent (or wasted) a large amount of time writing a post or message only to have it disappear because of something I've done in my clumsiness with my keyboard or the PM and whiteboard areas. There's a little me...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I do try to keep the focus on myself as much as possible these days. But I feel a little worn down after my time away with family (it was a challenge, as I explained) and now, as I went away for several days, ABF is in full crazy-making mode. As a punishment? It doesn't matter why. It matters that it is wearing...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I hadn't been back to a meeting since before Christmas. Meetings weren't on for a few weeks over the holidays, and the few I had attended prior had only 2 members and I've mentioned before, it was kinda repetetive so I'd only dragged myself to a few....well today I went to it ANYWAY and there were 8 people...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Our shortest slogan, "Think," can be very helpful. However, as with most tools, I need to use it with care and reason. As I've heard it said around the Al-Anon rooms, my best thinking is what got me here. For me, thinking too much or in a negative way is almost as dangerous as not thinking at all...

el-cee · el-cee

I think I might be addicted to Alanon. Is that possible? I only read Alanon literature, I dont read for pleasure anymore. lol Its on my mind from morning until night, I cant see life from any other eyes now so the world seems different to me. People seem transparent and in desperate need of the program to m...

Grace7 · Grace7

Speaking of songs, Matthew Wests song, "I Love You More" I Swear was written just for my family! We Always say, "I Love You More than ALLLL the ................. in the whole world!" Or universe! The grandchildren know nothing else but this, and my Dad would always say, &quo...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I don't know where to share or to talk about some of my experiences at my job. I know they are affecting my sobriety, but they also relate to having to deal with alcoholics and addicts all day every day. This week was nuts. I am still at work for the 6th day in a row. Clients were insane (literally) today...

hopes314 · hopes314

I wish I could drive by a landfill and throw all my anger out. I know that landfill would be filled to the brim. My anger was so misguided yesterday. I seemed to be mad about everything in life. I definitely was not happy. Usually I can get mad and move on but this stuck to me. I know where the anger is from whi...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I told my AH that (after an entire day of the silent treatment) I was going to my parent's house for a few days. He asked that I come home and we talk. I said fine. I know what's going to happen. He's going to promise to change, to stop drinking, to do anything I want, to change for me. And that's not enough...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Several years ago, I learned that a certain tribe in a small village in Africa would deal with the offenses of a villager by placing the offending person in a circle. The entire tribe would circle the person whose offenses were of grave concern to them. Then, each villager would take a turn telling th...

grateful2be · grateful2be

One of the things I've learned as a longtime program member of Al-Anon is how uncomfortable I can be over somebody else's denial. I have learned to let a person be where they are for the most part although sometimes I might slip up. I truly don't know what kind of harm I can do to another if I try to rip off t...

texasgal · texasgal

On Monday I set a boundary with my husband.I no longer live at home I got my own apt. The last bill at our home with my name was the light bill. It was $200 and if he didnt pay by Monday it was going to be disconnected. He told me he could not pay it. So i told him to get a prepay electric company and switch it over to...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

This song grabbed me from the first line. To me, it describes so clearly the feelings of having to walk away from someone you love but they are so "numb" they seem not to understand or even care what they've done. After boo hooing through the Carrie Underwood song that someone posted earlier...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

After copious reading on Surrender I have come to believe that it is a step process, not a not there one moment and there the next. I have now come to believe that what I thought was my surrender was merely compliance. I was doing all the right things. But, until my conscious and unconscious linked...

padodi · padodi

This is my very first time on here or any other message board. I am at the end of my rope and just googled "I hate alcohol" and came to this site. I have never been to al-anon, but after reading some of these posts, I plan to now! Until then, I have a question for all of you pros. My adult daughter is a...

Grace7 · Grace7

Its been 2 months since Dad died. I sat down with the mounds of paper work, which I've been chipping away at. When I filed his poa, the tears came. I've spent so many years taking care of him, making sure he is provided for as age crept up and visited his mind. I worked ever so diligently to maintain his d...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Time to move on after the apology from my mom is totally accepted. I think she is bringing me back into her world again. I am just so glad that I will probably be in the know from now on. She is still going to be in the doghouse if she pulls one of those again. I am so grateful for this program that I have so many fr...

el-cee · el-cee

....how, way back in time those founders got this together. I mean this philosophy is based many different philosophies. I don't know them all but I have read quotes from Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, many ancient philosophers and general wise folks like Abraham Lincoln. What kind of educat...

tortuga · tortuga

I read that poster today by coincidence: 'I guess the moment everything changed was when I realized I deserved so much better.' and it just clicked. I hav spend the past 2 months away from A, and lived back in my 'original' environment. Many moments of peace came over me, as well as many moments of grie...

Venera · Venera

Just wanted to share.. I was feeling sad and angry for some reasons and I prayed to God from my heart and asked for help. Just asked to guide me and show me how to go thru it in any kind of way... and when i got into the car a song was starting and I just had a feeling it was my answer, don't know why... there was the...

Tasha · Tasha

I feel like the process is sort of like wading into chilly water. I take it really slow... sometimes I stop and let myself warm up to it a bit. I sometimes walk back out. Sometimes I just dive in : ) When you take a peek at something fragile and delicate, it's okay to just gently set it back on the shelf to l...

sadsusie · sadsusie

We got into a nice big fight. I know that it stems from me not keeping myself in recovery. I am just so friggin tired of not being normal. I am tired of fighting this crap, this crap feeling. tired of trying so hard to feel better. I guess I gave up and got swept back out to sea. It was that time for me and I was a...

el-cee · el-cee

I read the Courage to Change, One Day at a Time and more recently Hope for Today. They teach and reinforce the philosophy of Alanon and they help me try hard to live it everyday. They all seem to have their own purpose. The ODAT is brilliant, even if a bit old fashioned, full of wisdom. The Courage to Change...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm in the kitchen making dinner and I'm washing my hands. I just thought how grateful I am to have so much water, lights, heat and AC, a roof over my head and a job to go to. I take so much for granted and for some reason all this came to me now how grateful I am to have such a good life. I've always had it just fo...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I would probably be mad as well. He says he feels like a prisoner in his own house, that I constantly throw his drinking in his face, and that I don't think he can take care of himself or do what is best for him. He's totally right, I don't. And I don't know if he'll ever earn that trust and respect back from m...

messedupgirl · messedupgirl

hello everyone just new to the group wanted to say Thank You to those who have helped me and welcomed me in the chat room this morning, i will be back to share my story , i need help to pull me through a lot , messedupgirl is what I am , but can see so much help here, i will be strong and I will pull through , just bar...

Tasha · Tasha

Tracy · Tracy

Would love to hear your thoughts on EGO, I am confused, I know I never loved myself before recovery and al anon, I had low self worth. Today I know I matter and I am learning self care. However although I had low self worth I was confident in my abilities I liked to take control run the show. I think alcohol...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Ok I'm in a state of confusion and this is real. I'm starting to question how far I should stay on my side of the street . I been very good up stair minding my own self I started to read step 1 again because some of me are not getting it right. I forgot my serenity pray . I do have great gaps of memory loss . I see my t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I was thinking about the lessons of the last week .. there have been many. I'm just trying to keep doing the next right thing. It's not always easy and I'm trying to do things on my own which is good just hard at times. I'm still in toddler mode running before I can walk kind of deal. I really want to run an...

Saleschic721 · Saleschic721

I am new to this board and grateful that it is here. My alcoholic boyfriend and I broke up in early January after a year and a half together...most of which we lived together. He is a daily drinker of moderately expensive red wine. He starts drinking pinot noir upon waking in the morning and doesn't s...

kat42 · kat42

I am having such a hard time with this... this past Sept my AH driving blasted at 6 pm and me crying on the phone as I was trying to figure out where he was pushed is to a different point in things. I started going to al anon immediately when I avoided it like the plague for the years before. He started to go to A...

oldergal · oldergal

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the King's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did an...

Jen61 · Jen61

I think I finally get it with detachment. It has taken me a long time but hopefully I am close. I like to go on YouTube.com and type in alcoholism, denial of alcoholism, stories of alcoholics, treatments, etc. I find a lot of valuable information doing this. I was on YouTube for a couple of hours yest...

Jerry F · Jerry F

or the compulsion to cry over it. I've mentioned that my eldest son has relapsed and its been a while since. Denial and the tricks which come with it have kept it under the rug until the problem became too large and the rug too small. The entire family...including my wife and I are invloved. My wife...

hopes314 · hopes314

I have been going to alnon since March. I have been growing everyday from the experience. I am having a hard time with trust. I do not trust my aa at all. He stopped drinking in Nov, but really I don't know since he moved out of state to his new job. How can have a relationship without trust. I am trying to re...

el-cee · el-cee

I have been thinking about how Alanon works. Is it possible to recover without face to face meetings? Are these on line facilities enough? Are they add ons, or supplementary?

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I'm curious as to how many of the fine people on here experience feelings of rejection (real or imagined) and how you've dealt or deal with it. I seem to be better at dealing with anger than my negative self-talk and perceptions. Sometimes I even start feeling rejected here...and then I wonder where th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Need to share this (Preview) AH and I have just restarted couples counselling and were asked to do a list of what we would like to share in our lives and what is separate. We worked on our lists individually and the difference in our approaches is huge. AH's list is full of emotions and feelings and states of being and my list is full...	milkwood	9	378	Feb 8, 2014 by Raven Juniper
	A powerful message (Preview) http://www.onecraftymother.com/2014/02/philip-seymour-hoffman-how-could-he.html?m=1	ParisMemories	3	281	Feb 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Guilt trip are ok (Preview) Hello I'm posting today because I'm in my right mind . Since I been trying to heal me and find me and tend to me , I realize I'm a lot of work . I'm back to seeing my therepist who loves the fact I'm attempting to reach out for resource to help me . Just because my A sober 1 year is back to the cry pity and guilt trips...	Wisdom67	7	530	Feb 8, 2014 by el-cee
	I agree Tortuga! (Preview) I also feel like dancing & singing & being the best me I can be! I am so grateful today. I think I will go home later & blast my satellite radio! I have to relish & cherish the time I have to spend celebrating. One of my friends said we have the permission to be silly! I can do that every day. So...	Hoot Nanny	5	271	Feb 8, 2014 by tortuga
	Al-non : The message of 12 Step recovery in all my affairs (Preview) Dear All, Hi my name is James MS. I am a greatful member of Al-non for many years. This is my great attempt to carry the message of recovery in all my affiairs. When I first came to Al-non I was a mess. I was riddled with alcoholism and defects. My personal hygiene was terrible. I went to university in a out f...	JamesMS1984	3	482	Feb 8, 2014 by DavidG
	no cross talk (Preview) I never really understood why members don't crosstalk in F2F meetings, but I got it this past Tuesday. We are each working on ourself. And that's why I respect everyone there. We are honestly trying to better ourselves, by self-reflection. It's actually really cool. I've just finished my firs...	Lyne	8	730	Feb 8, 2014 by DavidG
	Dealing with relapse (Preview) I feel much like a hypocrite. I was spouting the importance of compassion and understanding to another on a board the night before, and now here I am, enraged. He was a week in. Yet, I am not surprised as he has done nothing to seek support. No meetings. No therapist or substance abuse counselor. He has ho...	astallaslions	6	468	Feb 7, 2014 by maryjane
	Friday Evening Friends topic tonight is: Acceptance Friday Friends meeting acceptance Friday night Al-Anon meeting (Preview) Al-Anon Meeting at 9PM EST tonight 2/7/14 in the chat room. Hope to see you all there!	Tricia911	0	6444	Feb 7, 2014 by Tricia911
	Oh that's right... they're alcoholics... (Preview) Today I ran into a challenge that had me upset with a couple employees. We're going through a large change here in the business and I asked several of the staff members to communicate some of the changes with clients. I sent this via an email and almost immediately two of them started peppering me with em...	Aloha	6	473	Feb 7, 2014 by Awaken
	Site Facelift.. what do you think? (Preview) I have been working hard at bring our site up to date and bringing a new, fresh look to it. Please look around it, read the material on it, and then come back to to the message board and post under the Topic... "Site Facelift.. what do you think?" (This one) And tell me what you think of the changes that hav...	John	24	426	Feb 7, 2014 by oldergal
	This Could Be True .... (Preview)	oldergal	6	282	Feb 7, 2014 by el-cee
	Simple Acceptance (Preview) Sometimes I think of my journey with my ex-A, as bad as it was, as awful as it was to be screamed at, blamed, bullied - as bad as it was and as many tears as I cried, the pain that drove me to Al-Anon, the outcome, my now, was worth it. Yesterday someone calls me up to say he had bad news for me, my mind went to - some...	likemyheart	8	493	Feb 7, 2014 by el-cee
	What's working today (Preview) It's been more peaceful. The best program tool I came up with is "I am not God!" (as if thats a new thought). I always thought I understood that saying "there is a God and I am not it." I didn't realize I was making myself into some kind of God of rehab or something. I was hold...	pinkchip	8	384	Feb 7, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Adult son recently home from Rehab and I suspect he is drinking again. (Preview) Things have not been good since my adult son got home from rehab. The plan is for him to get on his feet financially and move out in 2-3 months. We had been going in his room looking for evidence of him using and found questionable things. Our counselor says we are to back off so we have, but it is so hard. ...	Pamela1954	16	1257	Feb 7, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	One month since AM passed and it's only getting harder (Preview) I posted here nearly one month ago when my AM suddenly died in a tragic car accident after what we assume to be a night of binging. As I'm sure you all understand all too well, I was losing "my mom" for many years before that due to her disease. I have grieved the lost of the person I knew for so long...	Daughter	10	564	Feb 6, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Looking for ESH on insecurity (Preview) (ESH = Experience, Strength, and Hope) For reasons I don't really want to get into right now, I grew up to be an extremely insecure person. I am utterly terrified of people finding out anything about me that will make them not like me, of embarrassing myself in front of others with awkward behavior -- I o...	atheos	7	252	Feb 6, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Exciting :) (Preview) There has been a LOT going on all positive a little frustrating .. it's just going to be what it's going to be at this point. Got a ton of snow dumped our direction. LOL .. that was fun .. I'm pretty much over winter and the white stuff .. it can go away until next year sometime. I got the job!! I'm sooo exci...	SerenityRUS	9	338	Feb 6, 2014 by wornoutmrsfixit
	The calm before the storm (Preview) I used to believe that I needed to be prepared for the worst always. I am learning a new way to prepare myself to be healthy and strong to deal with life's ups and downs instead. Gaining the confidence to maintain sanity through difficult times, and learning to enjoy the smallest of blessings every day....	Mari1978	11	660	Feb 6, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	still tredgin .. 4th step .. (Preview) Still kicking away .. Went to a meeting this week and heard someone choose a topic of courage; said the topic of fear was negative ? In all my years of alanon, I have never heard one share that I perceived as negative .. funny coming from me who I thought was the most negative person I knew .. through the yea...	MeTwo2	5	433	Feb 6, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Newbie.. sort of (Preview) Hi everyone.. I was a member here a couple of years ago, and foolish me thought I was ok.. that my DH would give up the drink. He did for about 6 month. Now its worse than ever. I use to attend face to face meetings too but stopped it as well. Now I realize that wasn't very smart of me at all. I do know that it's no...	jen_nipher	6	242	Feb 6, 2014 by Courage
	I don't know how to fix this. I don't know if I want to any more. (Preview) I'm pretty sure it's over. I made a pro/con list about staying married. The pros outweigh the cons, but not by much. I don't think we can give each other what we need any more. I don't think we even know what we need any more. I wish he were financially secure enough that I could just leave. I don't care...	SpiderArcana	19	713	Feb 6, 2014 by rehprof
	LIFE IS SHORT! (Preview) Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference. Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. ~Art Buchwald If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance. ~Andrea Boydston I don't wan...	oldergal	7	518	Feb 6, 2014 by bud
	Alanon member and online tech (Preview) Can someone explain to me how to access the drafts saved of posts I write. Several times I have spent (or wasted) a large amount of time writing a post or message only to have it disappear because of something I've done in my clumsiness with my keyboard or the PM and whiteboard areas. There's a little me...	cwya	4	403	Feb 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Handling the crazy-making. (Preview) I do try to keep the focus on myself as much as possible these days. But I feel a little worn down after my time away with family (it was a challenge, as I explained) and now, as I went away for several days, ABF is in full crazy-making mode. As a punishment? It doesn't matter why. It matters that it is wearing...	Melly1248	26	847	Feb 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Yaaay :-) (Preview) I hadn't been back to a meeting since before Christmas. Meetings weren't on for a few weeks over the holidays, and the few I had attended prior had only 2 members and I've mentioned before, it was kinda repetetive so I'd only dragged myself to a few....well today I went to it ANYWAY and there were 8 people...	Melly1248	18	469	Feb 5, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Feb 5, Hope for Today Reading .. (Preview) Our shortest slogan, "Think," can be very helpful. However, as with most tools, I need to use it with care and reason. As I've heard it said around the Al-Anon rooms, my best thinking is what got me here. For me, thinking too much or in a negative way is almost as dangerous as not thinking at all...	MeTwo2	4	331	Feb 5, 2014 by hopes314
	My addiction (Preview) I think I might be addicted to Alanon. Is that possible? I only read Alanon literature, I dont read for pleasure anymore. lol Its on my mind from morning until night, I cant see life from any other eyes now so the world seems different to me. People seem transparent and in desperate need of the program to m...	el-cee	6	483	Feb 5, 2014 by el-cee
	" I Love You More" (Preview) Speaking of songs, Matthew Wests song, "I Love You More" I Swear was written just for my family! We Always say, "I Love You More than ALLLL the ................. in the whole world!" Or universe! The grandchildren know nothing else but this, and my Dad would always say, &quo...	Grace7	8	302	Feb 5, 2014 by bud
	taxed (Preview) I don't know where to share or to talk about some of my experiences at my job. I know they are affecting my sobriety, but they also relate to having to deal with alcoholics and addicts all day every day. This week was nuts. I am still at work for the 6th day in a row. Clients were insane (literally) today...	pinkchip	28	558	Feb 5, 2014 by stephaniej
	I need a place for all this anger. (Preview) I wish I could drive by a landfill and throw all my anger out. I know that landfill would be filled to the brim. My anger was so misguided yesterday. I seemed to be mad about everything in life. I definitely was not happy. Usually I can get mad and move on but this stuck to me. I know where the anger is from whi...	hopes314	17	574	Feb 5, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Talking tonight (Preview) I told my AH that (after an entire day of the silent treatment) I was going to my parent's house for a few days. He asked that I come home and we talk. I said fine. I know what's going to happen. He's going to promise to change, to stop drinking, to do anything I want, to change for me. And that's not enough...	SpiderArcana	21	688	Feb 5, 2014 by jillybean1
	A tribal custom for healing (Preview) Several years ago, I learned that a certain tribe in a small village in Africa would deal with the offenses of a villager by placing the offending person in a circle. The entire tribe would circle the person whose offenses were of grave concern to them. Then, each villager would take a turn telling th...	grateful2be	7	423	Feb 5, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Other people's defenses, Blanche and me (Preview) One of the things I've learned as a longtime program member of Al-Anon is how uncomfortable I can be over somebody else's denial. I have learned to let a person be where they are for the most part although sometimes I might slip up. I truly don't know what kind of harm I can do to another if I try to rip off t...	grateful2be	19	531	Feb 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	setting boundaries (Preview) On Monday I set a boundary with my husband.I no longer live at home I got my own apt. The last bill at our home with my name was the light bill. It was $200 and if he didnt pay by Monday it was going to be disconnected. He told me he could not pay it. So i told him to get a prepay electric company and switch it over to...	texasgal	16	363	Feb 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	Powerful Song (Preview) This song grabbed me from the first line. To me, it describes so clearly the feelings of having to walk away from someone you love but they are so "numb" they seem not to understand or even care what they've done. After boo hooing through the Carrie Underwood song that someone posted earlier...	wornoutmrsfixit	2	274	Feb 5, 2014 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Surrender - Random thoughts on (Preview) After copious reading on Surrender I have come to believe that it is a step process, not a not there one moment and there the next. I have now come to believe that what I thought was my surrender was merely compliance. I was doing all the right things. But, until my conscious and unconscious linked...	Tricia911	6	1467	Feb 5, 2014 by Tricia911
	Needing advice-very new (Preview) This is my very first time on here or any other message board. I am at the end of my rope and just googled "I hate alcohol" and came to this site. I have never been to al-anon, but after reading some of these posts, I plan to now! Until then, I have a question for all of you pros. My adult daughter is a...	padodi	13	546	Feb 4, 2014 by maryjane
	Will Grief Abate and Probs it causes...I think? (Preview) Its been 2 months since Dad died. I sat down with the mounds of paper work, which I've been chipping away at. When I filed his poa, the tears came. I've spent so many years taking care of him, making sure he is provided for as age crept up and visited his mind. I worked ever so diligently to maintain his d...	Grace7	3	317	Feb 4, 2014 by Grace7
	apology accepted; reconciliation. (Preview) Time to move on after the apology from my mom is totally accepted. I think she is bringing me back into her world again. I am just so glad that I will probably be in the know from now on. She is still going to be in the doghouse if she pulls one of those again. I am so grateful for this program that I have so many fr...	Hoot Nanny	2	251	Feb 4, 2014 by hotrod
	Have you ever wondered... (Preview) ....how, way back in time those founders got this together. I mean this philosophy is based many different philosophies. I don't know them all but I have read quotes from Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, many ancient philosophers and general wise folks like Abraham Lincoln. What kind of educat...	el-cee	5	321	Feb 4, 2014 by ParisMemories
	work in progress! (Preview) I read that poster today by coincidence: 'I guess the moment everything changed was when I realized I deserved so much better.' and it just clicked. I hav spend the past 2 months away from A, and lived back in my 'original' environment. Many moments of peace came over me, as well as many moments of grie...	tortuga	7	417	Feb 4, 2014 by tortuga
	WOW.. Live like you were dying song (Preview) Just wanted to share.. I was feeling sad and angry for some reasons and I prayed to God from my heart and asked for help. Just asked to guide me and show me how to go thru it in any kind of way... and when i got into the car a song was starting and I just had a feeling it was my answer, don't know why... there was the...	Venera	7	399	Feb 4, 2014 by Debilyn
	A New Freedom! (Preview) I feel like the process is sort of like wading into chilly water. I take it really slow... sometimes I stop and let myself warm up to it a bit. I sometimes walk back out. Sometimes I just dive in : ) When you take a peek at something fragile and delicate, it's okay to just gently set it back on the shelf to l...	Tasha	6	255	Feb 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	Too exhausted to be anything but a ball of sadness (Preview) We got into a nice big fight. I know that it stems from me not keeping myself in recovery. I am just so friggin tired of not being normal. I am tired of fighting this crap, this crap feeling. tired of trying so hard to feel better. I guess I gave up and got swept back out to sea. It was that time for me and I was a...	sadsusie	12	403	Feb 3, 2014 by sfmom
	The Power of the Daily Reader!!! (Preview) I read the Courage to Change, One Day at a Time and more recently Hope for Today. They teach and reinforce the philosophy of Alanon and they help me try hard to live it everyday. They all seem to have their own purpose. The ODAT is brilliant, even if a bit old fashioned, full of wisdom. The Courage to Change...	el-cee	11	607	Feb 3, 2014 by el-cee
	Making Dinner and be Grateful (Preview) I'm in the kitchen making dinner and I'm washing my hands. I just thought how grateful I am to have so much water, lights, heat and AC, a roof over my head and a job to go to. I take so much for granted and for some reason all this came to me now how grateful I am to have such a good life. I've always had it just fo...	Cathyinaz	9	362	Feb 3, 2014 by hopes314
	He's mad because I don't trust him (still) (Preview) I would probably be mad as well. He says he feels like a prisoner in his own house, that I constantly throw his drinking in his face, and that I don't think he can take care of himself or do what is best for him. He's totally right, I don't. And I don't know if he'll ever earn that trust and respect back from m...	SpiderArcana	8	645	Feb 3, 2014 by hopes314
	New here (Preview) hello everyone just new to the group wanted to say Thank You to those who have helped me and welcomed me in the chat room this morning, i will be back to share my story , i need help to pull me through a lot , messedupgirl is what I am , but can see so much help here, i will be strong and I will pull through , just bar...	messedupgirl	8	407	Feb 2, 2014 by cwya
	Never give up on you (Preview)	Tasha	6	351	Feb 2, 2014 by hopes314
	EGO (Preview) Would love to hear your thoughts on EGO, I am confused, I know I never loved myself before recovery and al anon, I had low self worth. Today I know I matter and I am learning self care. However although I had low self worth I was confident in my abilities I liked to take control run the show. I think alcohol...	Tracy	6	1210	Feb 2, 2014 by hopes314
	Feeling not sure (Preview) Ok I'm in a state of confusion and this is real. I'm starting to question how far I should stay on my side of the street . I been very good up stair minding my own self I started to read step 1 again because some of me are not getting it right. I forgot my serenity pray . I do have great gaps of memory loss . I see my t...	Wisdom67	5	356	Feb 2, 2014 by yanksfan51
	Weekly update :) (Preview) I was thinking about the lessons of the last week .. there have been many. I'm just trying to keep doing the next right thing. It's not always easy and I'm trying to do things on my own which is good just hard at times. I'm still in toddler mode running before I can walk kind of deal. I really want to run an...	SerenityRUS	2	272	Feb 2, 2014 by hotrod
	Letting go (Preview) I am new to this board and grateful that it is here. My alcoholic boyfriend and I broke up in early January after a year and a half together...most of which we lived together. He is a daily drinker of moderately expensive red wine. He starts drinking pinot noir upon waking in the morning and doesn't s...	Saleschic721	9	450	Feb 2, 2014 by neshema2
	Detaching with love... (Preview) I am having such a hard time with this... this past Sept my AH driving blasted at 6 pm and me crying on the phone as I was trying to figure out where he was pushed is to a different point in things. I started going to al anon immediately when I avoided it like the plague for the years before. He started to go to A...	kat42	7	588	Feb 2, 2014 by neshema2
	2 Storys (Preview) In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the King's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did an...	oldergal	3	275	Feb 2, 2014 by el-cee
	Detachment (Preview) I think I finally get it with detachment. It has taken me a long time but hopefully I am close. I like to go on YouTube.com and type in alcoholism, denial of alcoholism, stories of alcoholics, treatments, etc. I find a lot of valuable information doing this. I was on YouTube for a couple of hours yest...	Jen61	9	509	Feb 2, 2014 by neshema2
	There's no denying the sadness (Preview) or the compulsion to cry over it. I've mentioned that my eldest son has relapsed and its been a while since. Denial and the tricks which come with it have kept it under the rug until the problem became too large and the rug too small. The entire family...including my wife and I are invloved. My wife...	Jerry F	17	837	Feb 1, 2014 by Rose50
	i keep getting sucked back in (Preview) I have been going to alnon since March. I have been growing everyday from the experience. I am having a hard time with trust. I do not trust my aa at all. He stopped drinking in Nov, but really I don't know since he moved out of state to his new job. How can have a relationship without trust. I am trying to re...	hopes314	9	495	Feb 1, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Can you work this recovery program without face to face meetings? (Preview) I have been thinking about how Alanon works. Is it possible to recover without face to face meetings? Are these on line facilities enough? Are they add ons, or supplementary?	el-cee	22	569	Feb 1, 2014 by Tricia911
	Dealing with rejection...ESH? (Preview) I'm curious as to how many of the fine people on here experience feelings of rejection (real or imagined) and how you've dealt or deal with it. I seem to be better at dealing with anger than my negative self-talk and perceptions. Sometimes I even start feeling rejected here...and then I wonder where th...	Raven Juniper	14	3708	Feb 1, 2014 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.