Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Well, he flat out refused my request to refinance the house in his name only because "he doesn't want to". This was the boundary that I set a few weeks ago. I believe he thought he could stall me (he did for a few weeks) and I would back down and let it go but I contacted a lawyer yesterday. I'm wait...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

The rehab where my AH is at.... has suggested he go into a 1/2 way sober living house. Does anyone have experience with this system? I have told my AH that I will not allow him to live back with the family because he relapsed so quickly after his last attempt at recovery (3 days after rehab release). H...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

How does almost everything I say get twisted around, thrown back at me, and make me feel like crap. there's a reason and justification for everything. I can tell myself it's the disease but it doesn't make me feel any better after being yelled at for over an hour. Heard for first time that it was me not gi...

Jen61 · Jen61

I love reading One Day at a Time, Courage to Change and Hope for Today. On February 27th One Day at Time had a great reminder: Today's Reminder Trying to analyze why another person persists in destructive behaviors cannot help me out of my own difficulties. I can overcome them only by turning my thoug...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

el-cee · el-cee

Alanon has given me awareness of my shortcomings and the tools to remove them, im grateful for that. At least im no longer misersble, blaming it all on the alcoholic and justifying my bad behaviour. Im just feeling the badness creep in, I cant really bear people at the moment. My friends are really anno...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am at a point now where I think I am ready to move on with my life. I left my Alcoholic husband in July (8 months ago). I was on the brink of a breakdown from the alcoholism and verbally abusive behavior. He eventually went to rehab. It did not last long, but I had come home in the meantime. I got myself into r...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I heard an interesting concept this weekend: Worry is essentially the opposite of prayer. It's a lack of faith in our HP. It is thinking that our own obsessions are a bigger priority for our time than our time spent with our HP. The more time we allow for worrying, the less time we are allowing for prayer a...

John · John

This MomentWe all suffer, every day: worry, procrastination, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, irritated, angry, frustrated, wishing things were different, comparing ourselves to others, worried we’re missing out, wishing other people would be different, feeling offended, loneliness, fear...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

I forgot to post yesterday for Dr. Suess' birthday but I saw this in the newspaper and thought it was proper to post here..... You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess) Have a lovely night everyone!! Jilly

ladee · ladee

As much as I have had moments, in my head and heart, to break the No contact with my A son..... I followed my gut.... thought things thru..... and realized what I was missing I have not seen or been around in many years.... my sober son..... the disease has him masked and caped as a hurtful and hurting perso...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Our literature is really recovery treasure; a gift from HP and those who came before us. The difference between just waking up and "coming to" after reading our literature is awesome. If you haven't gotten into March 5th already...take the time, quiet slow time to read and absorb cau...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi, and yes, I got sucked back in to stinkin thinkin and didn't even realize it. It happened in such a subtle way. My A did several things that were so nice, like driving me to work in bad weather. I started feeling guilty. I'm detached and wanted to feel somethings I can't. So I tried to get my A to make...

grainne · grainne

My husband is an alcoholic. He knows it and admits it; I know it and his entire family know it too. It's the elephant in the room, nobody is willing to say it out loud. He himself admits it frequently, but that doesn't encourage him to do anything about it. It's as if by admitting the problem, he has identif...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Right now I am in the midst of mourning the loss of the relationship I wanted to have with my adult daughter. Alcohol seems to have replaced everything that used to have meaning for her....although occasionally a part of who she used to be will re surface and I will get my hopes up.....only to have Alcoho...

astallaslions · astallaslions

Alanon has given me much relief, but I do realize that my hesitations with the program, have been because of my fear with all the work I need to do. I take my own personal insecurities out on him. This has not been AT all healthy as he has been trying to get sober. It's been an on off battle, but he is fighting h...

jacob53 · jacob53

I am feeling so awful today about something I did. I am new here but not new to Alanon I have been to meetings many times and have worked a program for years but this situation for me seems to be tougher than my own was. I have a brother younger that is married to an Alcoholic and it breaks my heart. He isn't rea...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I just need some extra prayers today from my MIP family .. I think I'm definitely HHALT'ing. The hormones are in deep and it's not always easy to deal with that to say the least. This was a hard weekend and there were some high points .. just disappointed that the STBAX is being an alcoholic or at least a...

CKCS · CKCS

My ex-partner and I split up in a terrible way about 3 weeks ago. He's an alcoholic who stopped drinking in January, went to the AA and met a woman there a week later with whom he cheated on me. I packed his stuff and had him leave our apartment. After that he started to drink again. He was agressive and verba...

Snowflake74 · Snowflake74

Hi I went to my first meeting today and it was very helpful. I finally cried about this mess and it felt good. The group I met with were so warm and welcoming. We talked about realizing we are powerless over this disease. I know I can't do anything about it, it just felt good to say that to people face to face....

Jerry F · Jerry F

My early Al-Anon sponsor Don T, I was told passed away several years ago last month. I believe that because it was my first sponsor who told me that and she brokered me off to him. (I didn't do my lessons good...just like school so she fired me and brought me to him). Only one of the things he taught me wh...

Jozie · Jozie

Before I Go into My Rant... I Just want to THANK All that Prayed for My Aunt, She is Doing Well, and We wont know untill her appt in 2wks if Chemo or Radiation are necessary...So Thank you all that Said a Prayer for her Surgery yest., she is doing Great & I'm Most Grateful indeed :) NOW...lol...Do ya Eve...

dibsylou · dibsylou

My daughter is 24 and is addicted to addrell. Has been for a couple of years. Gives her the opposite effect and is very ineffective; doesn't work and can't hold a job if she doesn't have her pillls. She is very dependant on me for everything. I became sick over the last couple of weeks (like hospitali...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All We finally have rain. Been up since 2am just listening to the rain and loving it. The power has been going off and on with the lighting outside. I'm going to try and get a little more sleep but I'm grateful for the welcoming rain. Have a peaceful Saturday ((( hugs )))

LucyLynn · LucyLynn

Hello Im new to this site and new to the whole Al Anon process. I came across this site Friday night after I caught my husband for the 100th time hiding alcohol (Its been about 2 years that he's had a problem). I was desperate and hopeless and went online to search for answers and came across this site which...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

My son has been calling me but I haven't answered. He isn't leaving any messages or texting me so I don't know whats up. I can only pray he is OK but he doesn't show up here because I can't have him. I don't like it when we tries and calls me. I don't want to hear from him at all right now. I like my peace and want...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56896923/alanon-step-one/

lgnutah · lgnutah

Have any other parents of adult As thought about how to prevent your estate from becoming your As party (til the money is gone)? I belong to NAMI, as my son is bi polar, and there is a speaker coming to our meeting next week who is going to talk with us about this very issue. With my daughter being an active...

Gaby · Gaby

Sometimes this weather gets me gloomy especially at work. I pray to live just for the moment.. I have to add that I see my son a bit more productive. Stepping back into his meetings slowly and all kinds of people are crossing his path. I believe god speaks through people. But it's the past that I can not see...

LucyLynn · LucyLynn

I am new to this. Don't really know where to begin... Ive come to the realization my husband IS a alcoholic and will probably NEVER change. We are both 31, been married 7 years and have two children age 3 and 18mo. A few years ago when i was pregnant with our daughter i noticed he started to drink very heavil...

Dealiing with family members · daisy31

I am working on learning how to deal with family dynamics and I have been getting a lot better. I have been having a struggle with my Brother in law. He likes to make these comments about how I am not bubbly enough and he says I am just not fun enough. He also calls me "grandma" often when he is refe...

Hollywood · Hollywood

Where to begin... my AW suggested I seek out alanon. Having grown up with an abusive drunk father I swore I would never re-live that kind of life. Fast forward 35 years later I fall in love and marry a recovering heroine addict. 6 months in were awesome however recently she relapsed and started todo...

ashcrash · ashcrash

I'm starting to feel pretty stupid. I've known my husband for 14 years, and yes I knew he drank as a teenager. But, I guess I hoped he'd grow up. He will have one or two (or 3...) beers or glasses of wine just about nightly. But I dread the weekends. From Friday night until Saturday night he drinks. It's not...

bud · bud

Oh how denial runs deep and how easy it is to slip into a seemly easier path of least resistance by pretending. Only, it's not like being a child and playing dress up or being a favorite super-hero. I often think of the children's book, "The Velveteen Rabbit", when the rabbit asks, "...

Snowflake74 · Snowflake74

This weekend marks 16 days since by boyfriend crawled into a bottle. Last night after dropping my children off with their Dad I returned to town to pick up his teenage daughter from their house. Normally I would spend the weekend there, but not when he is like this. I went inside and he was on the couch cry...

Tan · Tan

Hi all, I have been reading many many posts, over the last several weeks- so I almost feel like I know some of you.... like in real life , I have been too shy, embarrassed, unworthy- etc etc- to share, but so many of you have such meaningful, healthy, outlooks and ideas for growth that I must ask a question t...

debhud · debhud

my 38 year old A son is definitely the "favorite" of all of the 8 grandchildren. (none who are cursed with this fatal disease) my parents do EVERYTHING for him and little for the others. he is active in his addiction and not working. my parents pay ALL of his bills. they babysit for his son...

NavySealWife · NavySealWife

I have been working so much, that today was the first day after few days of not being here with my family supporter. My husband relapse four weeks straight with drinking after being sober for two and half year. The last time that I think of that he has told me was the firs day he came home and retired from th...

newbie2014 · newbie2014

did I not learn anything 30 years ago? I was fortunate in that I had a clean and sober partner for a long time until the feelings of despair overcame him once again, he is also bi polar one which has been a struggle all those years. Right now he is on a downward spiral and I do not know how to help. Al anon help...

Akavanagh · Akavanagh

And looked through the trash and found what I was looking for. Empty bottles. *Sigh* It resulted in a heated "talk" between us and A doesn't understand why i make such a big deal about these things, and insists he tries to hide it BECAUSE i get so upset make such a big deal about these things. I g...

Cool82 · Cool82

I've come to the realization that my husband is a Functioning (not really) Alcoholic. After years of problem drinking, ups and downs in our relationship and what is now surfacing as financial issues, I caught him drinking secretly again last night. "Caught him" puts me in the position...

astallaslions · astallaslions

I feel I'm nearing a crossroads in my life. Yet, I still feel this sense of dread, because I know the courses of action and the decisions I must make to better my situation for ME, will inevitably leave my A behind to catch up. Within the next year I"m going back to school. I've yet to decide in state or...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Soon I will hopefully be looking at purchasing my first home. In the next few months I will be undertaking on a big project in my life. I have been preparing for it for awhile and it is a major step in a person's life. Unlike most, (ther...

tortuga · tortuga

this month was a difficult one, but I also had some little break throughs waiting for me. i tried to keep the focus on me, and it's nice to feel a bit of 'wholeness' again. I am carefully forgiving myself, and am now learning to accept the critic in me. I realized that what I criticize in others, is the part i...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

No one is worth my serenity. Know where others' stuff ends and mine begins.

likemyheart · likemyheart

There are some things that beat the sh*t out of me. My grown kid, unaffected by mr. ex's bs (because he came after her) continues to lavish praise onto her in-laws and I get no thanks for all the years I spent devoted entirely to her (how many hours I spent sitting in a car in the rain while her father went fis...

Katy · Katy

When I first came to alanon, my whole being and life was engulfed in and by my alchoholic, my mood my happiness my sence of who I was, all of it was in my mind dependent on him and his behavours, hand on my heart I did not believe alanon or anything come to that matter could show me a way to live any differently...

Gaby · Gaby

The week is early. Lots of fear.. But I pray and pray for me and my son..! I have to always say to me self he makes his own choices!! I can not control him.. I can not cure him and I am not the cause of this ugly disease !! He knows I love him but this is his addiction .. I do not have to allow it to consume my life!! It'...

lookingup · lookingup

i finally find out the truth that he had been hiding his drinking all along,I confronted him 3x then he told me he drank margerittas instead of beer but still changed his behavior when he ,he being my a b/f, came in after work,he called me from work and humbly apologized for his behavior and he went on to sa...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Hi all. Time for an update. I've come on here a few times over the last week and a half, started to write something, read over it, sighed, deleted it...who'd have thought, me with nothing to write? lol. I just haven't had much...I dunno...spirit or something. That first week was horrible. I didn't spe...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi Everyone. When I wake up in the morning sometimes, before I've had coffee, everything is very clear. Coffee hides my feelings. Without it it, I see so clearly that I have to clean up some things from the last several years. I'm not talking about amends (I do those too.) I'm talking about setting bound...

tortuga · tortuga

I stumbled over a movie by coincidence (or faith) last night ..'' 'Thanks for sharing' with Tim Robbins, Gwyneth Paltrow et al. very interesting to see life's stories in a movie, not overdone, not exaggerated, not minimized. I found it interesting to feel both sides of the streets in a more detached w...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I just wanted to post to you all how much I appreciate each and every one of you. My AH has been gone now since Dec. 27. It has been a LONG, bitterly cold winter here in northern Minnesota. This site has helped me so much, on so many different levels this winter. I don't always post after reading, because you...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Lots of thoughts have sprung into my mind lately...there's hasn't been much going on around here, at least not on the surface. But I've been learning everyday and for that I'm very grateful. It truly is about Progress, Not Perfection, isn't it? I started likening living with my A to being at one of t...

marieanne · marieanne

Hi all, I never thought I would join a message board for alcoholics. My 25 yr old daughter is an alcoholic. I don't know what to do. She has admitted the fact that she is an alcoholic, went to 1 meeting, and said all the people there were weird/crazy..not for her. I suggested counseling. No go. The ot...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Just wanted to check in. Things have been shockingly quiet here. AH seems to have really taken to heart everything I've said, and has been very, very mindful about his actions. He helps with things without me asking, is trying to cook more for us and eat healthier, more exercise, etc. I truly hope i...

el-cee · el-cee

I hate the drama this disease causes. The noise and chaos, Its very difficult to find and keep serenity when it continues on and on. The manipulation used to keep it alive is draining. I think Im beginning to realise that Im no match, I cant keep one step ahead anymore and maybe I never ever was. Actually I...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

You know that addicts and alcoholics let you down, so I learned to take care of myself and not rely on them. I got on the system in order to work only part time so I can go back to school full time in order to get a career and be totally self supporting in my future. Now I am slowing school down to part time th...

Dee F · Dee F

Hello. I was recently asked to sponsor someone. This would be my first experience as a sponsor. I am thrilled and at the same time, a bit nervous. I have read the 2014-2017 Service Manual, Courage to Change and Hope For Today regarding sponsorship. Also, I have the "What Sponsorship Is and W...

jodiee34 · jodiee34

My wife is my A. We married last July after it became legal for us. I was just wondering if there were any others on here other than me. :) Would be happy to chat to just share experiences.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Next Right Thing . . . Divorce? (Preview) Well, he flat out refused my request to refinance the house in his name only because "he doesn't want to". This was the boundary that I set a few weeks ago. I believe he thought he could stall me (he did for a few weeks) and I would back down and let it go but I contacted a lawyer yesterday. I'm wait...	wornoutmrsfixit	9	592	Mar 7, 2014 by wornoutmrsfixit
	AH graduating rehab and into 1/2 way?? (Preview) The rehab where my AH is at.... has suggested he go into a 1/2 way sober living house. Does anyone have experience with this system? I have told my AH that I will not allow him to live back with the family because he relapsed so quickly after his last attempt at recovery (3 days after rehab release). H...	jillybean1	3	585	Mar 7, 2014 by el-cee
	What just happened? (Preview) How does almost everything I say get twisted around, thrown back at me, and make me feel like crap. there's a reason and justification for everything. I can tell myself it's the disease but it doesn't make me feel any better after being yelled at for over an hour. Heard for first time that it was me not gi...	Kerrymom	13	509	Mar 7, 2014 by Kerrymom
	One Day at a Time in Al-Anon (Preview) I love reading One Day at a Time, Courage to Change and Hope for Today. On February 27th One Day at Time had a great reminder: Today's Reminder Trying to analyze why another person persists in destructive behaviors cannot help me out of my own difficulties. I can overcome them only by turning my thoug...	Jen61	6	416	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Couldn't have said it better myself. (Preview)	SpiderArcana	5	290	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	shortcomings (Preview) Alanon has given me awareness of my shortcomings and the tools to remove them, im grateful for that. At least im no longer misersble, blaming it all on the alcoholic and justifying my bad behaviour. Im just feeling the badness creep in, I cant really bear people at the moment. My friends are really anno...	el-cee	11	800	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Ready to move on with my life... (Preview) I am at a point now where I think I am ready to move on with my life. I left my Alcoholic husband in July (8 months ago). I was on the brink of a breakdown from the alcoholism and verbally abusive behavior. He eventually went to rehab. It did not last long, but I had come home in the meantime. I got myself into r...	sadsusie	7	583	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Worry vs. Prayer worry letting go and letting God (Preview) I heard an interesting concept this weekend: Worry is essentially the opposite of prayer. It's a lack of faith in our HP. It is thinking that our own obsessions are a bigger priority for our time than our time spent with our HP. The more time we allow for worrying, the less time we are allowing for prayer a...	Green Eyes	10	4481	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	This Moment (Preview) This MomentWe all suffer, every day: worry, procrastination, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, irritated, angry, frustrated, wishing things were different, comparing ourselves to others, worried we’re missing out, wishing other people would be different, feeling offended, loneliness, fear...	John	7	270	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	my favorite Dr. Suess (Preview) I forgot to post yesterday for Dr. Suess' birthday but I saw this in the newspaper and thought it was proper to post here..... You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess) Have a lovely night everyone!! Jilly	jillybean1	7	308	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Following my gut... (Preview) As much as I have had moments, in my head and heart, to break the No contact with my A son..... I followed my gut.... thought things thru..... and realized what I was missing I have not seen or been around in many years.... my sober son..... the disease has him masked and caped as a hurtful and hurting perso...	ladee	4	339	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Conference Approved Literature (Preview) Our literature is really recovery treasure; a gift from HP and those who came before us. The difference between just waking up and "coming to" after reading our literature is awesome. If you haven't gotten into March 5th already...take the time, quiet slow time to read and absorb cau...	Jerry F	6	539	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	sucked back in (Preview) Hi, and yes, I got sucked back in to stinkin thinkin and didn't even realize it. It happened in such a subtle way. My A did several things that were so nice, like driving me to work in bad weather. I started feeling guilty. I'm detached and wanted to feel somethings I can't. So I tried to get my A to make...	Lyne	8	411	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	husband's drinking affecting family life (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. He knows it and admits it; I know it and his entire family know it too. It's the elephant in the room, nobody is willing to say it out loud. He himself admits it frequently, but that doesn't encourage him to do anything about it. It's as if by admitting the problem, he has identif...	grainne	6	594	Mar 5, 2014 by Theoceancalls
	Mourning the loss (Preview) Right now I am in the midst of mourning the loss of the relationship I wanted to have with my adult daughter. Alcohol seems to have replaced everything that used to have meaning for her....although occasionally a part of who she used to be will re surface and I will get my hopes up.....only to have Alcoho...	lgnutah	7	557	Mar 5, 2014 by bud
	Owning Up (Preview) Alanon has given me much relief, but I do realize that my hesitations with the program, have been because of my fear with all the work I need to do. I take my own personal insecurities out on him. This has not been AT all healthy as he has been trying to get sober. It's been an on off battle, but he is fighting h...	astallaslions	13	534	Mar 5, 2014 by bud
	New Here but not new to Alanon (Preview) I am feeling so awful today about something I did. I am new here but not new to Alanon I have been to meetings many times and have worked a program for years but this situation for me seems to be tougher than my own was. I have a brother younger that is married to an Alcoholic and it breaks my heart. He isn't rea...	jacob53	7	261	Mar 5, 2014 by bud
	Struggling today .. (Preview) I just need some extra prayers today from my MIP family .. I think I'm definitely HHALT'ing. The hormones are in deep and it's not always easy to deal with that to say the least. This was a hard weekend and there were some high points .. just disappointed that the STBAX is being an alcoholic or at least a...	SerenityRUS	13	493	Mar 5, 2014 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Confused feelings (Preview) My ex-partner and I split up in a terrible way about 3 weeks ago. He's an alcoholic who stopped drinking in January, went to the AA and met a woman there a week later with whom he cheated on me. I packed his stuff and had him leave our apartment. After that he started to drink again. He was agressive and verba...	CKCS	12	541	Mar 5, 2014 by CKCS
	Went to my first meeting today (Preview) Hi I went to my first meeting today and it was very helpful. I finally cried about this mess and it felt good. The group I met with were so warm and welcoming. We talked about realizing we are powerless over this disease. I know I can't do anything about it, it just felt good to say that to people face to face....	Snowflake74	8	401	Mar 4, 2014 by Tulip
	He died but he didn't (Preview) My early Al-Anon sponsor Don T, I was told passed away several years ago last month. I believe that because it was my first sponsor who told me that and she brokered me off to him. (I didn't do my lessons good...just like school so she fired me and brought me to him). Only one of the things he taught me wh...	Jerry F	11	423	Mar 4, 2014 by Jozie
	Removing the "In" & Gaining My "Sanity"... (Preview) Before I Go into My Rant... I Just want to THANK All that Prayed for My Aunt, She is Doing Well, and We wont know untill her appt in 2wks if Chemo or Radiation are necessary...So Thank you all that Said a Prayer for her Surgery yest., she is doing Great & I'm Most Grateful indeed :) NOW...lol...Do ya Eve...	Jozie	5	449	Mar 4, 2014 by Jozie
	what do you suggest when adult child takes her whole script addrell dependancy (Preview) My daughter is 24 and is addicted to addrell. Has been for a couple of years. Gives her the opposite effect and is very ineffective; doesn't work and can't hold a job if she doesn't have her pillls. She is very dependant on me for everything. I became sick over the last couple of weeks (like hospitali...	dibsylou	13	517	Mar 4, 2014 by grateful2be
	Rain (Preview) Good Morning All We finally have rain. Been up since 2am just listening to the rain and loving it. The power has been going off and on with the lighting outside. I'm going to try and get a little more sleep but I'm grateful for the welcoming rain. Have a peaceful Saturday ((( hugs )))	Cathyinaz	5	226	Mar 4, 2014 by lgnutah
	New to Al-Anon...To drink or Not? (Preview) Hello Im new to this site and new to the whole Al Anon process. I came across this site Friday night after I caught my husband for the 100th time hiding alcohol (Its been about 2 years that he's had a problem). I was desperate and hopeless and went online to search for answers and came across this site which...	LucyLynn	11	832	Mar 4, 2014 by astallaslions
	Please don't come (Preview) My son has been calling me but I haven't answered. He isn't leaving any messages or texting me so I don't know whats up. I can only pray he is OK but he doesn't show up here because I can't have him. I don't like it when we tries and calls me. I don't want to hear from him at all right now. I like my peace and want...	Cathyinaz	13	483	Mar 3, 2014 by jillybean1
	Step One (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56896923/alanon-step-one/	hotrod	2	265	Mar 3, 2014 by lgnutah
	Parents of As (Preview) Have any other parents of adult As thought about how to prevent your estate from becoming your As party (til the money is gone)? I belong to NAMI, as my son is bi polar, and there is a speaker coming to our meeting next week who is going to talk with us about this very issue. With my daughter being an active...	lgnutah	13	563	Mar 3, 2014 by lgnutah
	Weather!!! (Preview) Sometimes this weather gets me gloomy especially at work. I pray to live just for the moment.. I have to add that I see my son a bit more productive. Stepping back into his meetings slowly and all kinds of people are crossing his path. I believe god speaks through people. But it's the past that I can not see...	Gaby	3	299	Mar 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	New...Please HELP! help alcohol husband hiding alcohol (Preview) I am new to this. Don't really know where to begin... Ive come to the realization my husband IS a alcoholic and will probably NEVER change. We are both 31, been married 7 years and have two children age 3 and 18mo. A few years ago when i was pregnant with our daughter i noticed he started to drink very heavil...	LucyLynn	11	7871	Mar 3, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Dealiing with family members (Preview) I am working on learning how to deal with family dynamics and I have been getting a lot better. I have been having a struggle with my Brother in law. He likes to make these comments about how I am not bubbly enough and he says I am just not fun enough. He also calls me "grandma" often when he is refe...	daisy31	10	510	Mar 3, 2014 by maryjane
	Male perspective dealing with AW (Preview) Where to begin... my AW suggested I seek out alanon. Having grown up with an abusive drunk father I swore I would never re-live that kind of life. Fast forward 35 years later I fall in love and marry a recovering heroine addict. 6 months in were awesome however recently she relapsed and started todo...	Hollywood	13	498	Mar 3, 2014 by milkwood
	I think my husband has a problem, but he says I'm just nagging (Preview) I'm starting to feel pretty stupid. I've known my husband for 14 years, and yes I knew he drank as a teenager. But, I guess I hoped he'd grow up. He will have one or two (or 3...) beers or glasses of wine just about nightly. But I dread the weekends. From Friday night until Saturday night he drinks. It's not...	ashcrash	5	741	Mar 2, 2014 by tortuga
	consequences of pretending (Preview) Oh how denial runs deep and how easy it is to slip into a seemly easier path of least resistance by pretending. Only, it's not like being a child and playing dress up or being a favorite super-hero. I often think of the children's book, "The Velveteen Rabbit", when the rabbit asks, "...	bud	18	620	Mar 2, 2014 by bud
	I said no (Preview) This weekend marks 16 days since by boyfriend crawled into a bottle. Last night after dropping my children off with their Dad I returned to town to pick up his teenage daughter from their house. Normally I would spend the weekend there, but not when he is like this. I went inside and he was on the couch cry...	Snowflake74	11	535	Mar 2, 2014 by MorningGlory
	10 year old asking .'s (Preview) Hi all, I have been reading many many posts, over the last several weeks- so I almost feel like I know some of you.... like in real life , I have been too shy, embarrassed, unworthy- etc etc- to share, but so many of you have such meaningful, healthy, outlooks and ideas for growth that I must ask a question t...	Tan	11	2335	Mar 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	my parents "favor" alcoholic son.... (Preview) my 38 year old A son is definitely the "favorite" of all of the 8 grandchildren. (none who are cursed with this fatal disease) my parents do EVERYTHING for him and little for the others. he is active in his addiction and not working. my parents pay ALL of his bills. they babysit for his son...	debhud	5	363	Mar 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Back to the same old thing again..... (Preview) I have been working so much, that today was the first day after few days of not being here with my family supporter. My husband relapse four weeks straight with drinking after being sober for two and half year. The last time that I think of that he has told me was the firs day he came home and retired from th...	NavySealWife	3	388	Mar 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	here I am again (Preview) did I not learn anything 30 years ago? I was fortunate in that I had a clean and sober partner for a long time until the feelings of despair overcame him once again, he is also bi polar one which has been a struggle all those years. Right now he is on a downward spiral and I do not know how to help. Al anon help...	newbie2014	6	364	Mar 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Went back to old habits... (Preview) And looked through the trash and found what I was looking for. Empty bottles. Sigh It resulted in a heated "talk" between us and A doesn't understand why i make such a big deal about these things, and insists he tries to hide it BECAUSE i get so upset make such a big deal about these things. I g...	Akavanagh	7	510	Mar 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Help? (Preview) I've come to the realization that my husband is a Functioning (not really) Alcoholic. After years of problem drinking, ups and downs in our relationship and what is now surfacing as financial issues, I caught him drinking secretly again last night. "Caught him" puts me in the position...	Cool82	10	724	Mar 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Tired (Preview) I feel I'm nearing a crossroads in my life. Yet, I still feel this sense of dread, because I know the courses of action and the decisions I must make to better my situation for ME, will inevitably leave my A behind to catch up. Within the next year I"m going back to school. I've yet to decide in state or...	astallaslions	4	306	Mar 2, 2014 by Breakingfree
	I know it will work out for the best. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Soon I will hopefully be looking at purchasing my first home. In the next few months I will be undertaking on a big project in my life. I have been preparing for it for awhile and it is a major step in a person's life. Unlike most, (ther...	slogan_jim	5	417	Mar 1, 2014 by oldergal
	my disease (Preview) this month was a difficult one, but I also had some little break throughs waiting for me. i tried to keep the focus on me, and it's nice to feel a bit of 'wholeness' again. I am carefully forgiving myself, and am now learning to accept the critic in me. I realized that what I criticize in others, is the part i...	tortuga	4	415	Feb 28, 2014 by Breakingfree
	My Thought For The Day (Preview) No one is worth my serenity. Know where others' stuff ends and mine begins.	WorkingThroughIt	4	203	Feb 28, 2014 by Breakingfree
	beats me (Preview) There are some things that beat the sh*t out of me. My grown kid, unaffected by mr. ex's bs (because he came after her) continues to lavish praise onto her in-laws and I get no thanks for all the years I spent devoted entirely to her (how many hours I spent sitting in a car in the rain while her father went fis...	likemyheart	7	367	Feb 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	The Difference in me now! (Preview) When I first came to alanon, my whole being and life was engulfed in and by my alchoholic, my mood my happiness my sence of who I was, all of it was in my mind dependent on him and his behavours, hand on my heart I did not believe alanon or anything come to that matter could show me a way to live any differently...	Katy	4	498	Feb 28, 2014 by Jerry F
	I'm taking it second by second.. (Preview) The week is early. Lots of fear.. But I pray and pray for me and my son..! I have to always say to me self he makes his own choices!! I can not control him.. I can not cure him and I am not the cause of this ugly disease !! He knows I love him but this is his addiction .. I do not have to allow it to consume my life!! It'...	Gaby	9	465	Feb 28, 2014 by jillybean1
	Here I am again (Preview) i finally find out the truth that he had been hiding his drinking all along,I confronted him 3x then he told me he drank margerittas instead of beer but still changed his behavior when he ,he being my a b/f, came in after work,he called me from work and humbly apologized for his behavior and he went on to sa...	lookingup	6	451	Feb 28, 2014 by jillybean1
	Rambly update. (Preview) Hi all. Time for an update. I've come on here a few times over the last week and a half, started to write something, read over it, sighed, deleted it...who'd have thought, me with nothing to write? lol. I just haven't had much...I dunno...spirit or something. That first week was horrible. I didn't spe...	Melly1248	15	541	Feb 28, 2014 by hotrod
	Picking My Battles (Preview) Hi Everyone. When I wake up in the morning sometimes, before I've had coffee, everything is very clear. Coffee hides my feelings. Without it it, I see so clearly that I have to clean up some things from the last several years. I'm not talking about amends (I do those too.) I'm talking about setting bound...	WorkingThroughIt	10	440	Feb 28, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	the movie 'Thanks for sharing' (Preview) I stumbled over a movie by coincidence (or faith) last night ..'' 'Thanks for sharing' with Tim Robbins, Gwyneth Paltrow et al. very interesting to see life's stories in a movie, not overdone, not exaggerated, not minimized. I found it interesting to feel both sides of the streets in a more detached w...	tortuga	6	313	Feb 27, 2014 by tortuga
	Gratitude (Preview) I just wanted to post to you all how much I appreciate each and every one of you. My AH has been gone now since Dec. 27. It has been a LONG, bitterly cold winter here in northern Minnesota. This site has helped me so much, on so many different levels this winter. I don't always post after reading, because you...	Sweet Stanley	9	366	Feb 27, 2014 by hotrod
	I bought this ticket... (Preview) Lots of thoughts have sprung into my mind lately...there's hasn't been much going on around here, at least not on the surface. But I've been learning everyday and for that I'm very grateful. It truly is about Progress, Not Perfection, isn't it? I started likening living with my A to being at one of t...	Raven Juniper	2	367	Feb 27, 2014 by hotrod
	New here...worried about my daughter (Preview) Hi all, I never thought I would join a message board for alcoholics. My 25 yr old daughter is an alcoholic. I don't know what to do. She has admitted the fact that she is an alcoholic, went to 1 meeting, and said all the people there were weird/crazy..not for her. I suggested counseling. No go. The ot...	marieanne	12	363	Feb 27, 2014 by marieanne
	All quiet (Preview) Just wanted to check in. Things have been shockingly quiet here. AH seems to have really taken to heart everything I've said, and has been very, very mindful about his actions. He helps with things without me asking, is trying to cook more for us and eat healthier, more exercise, etc. I truly hope i...	SpiderArcana	6	261	Feb 27, 2014 by mccr
	Cant stick the drama. (Preview) I hate the drama this disease causes. The noise and chaos, Its very difficult to find and keep serenity when it continues on and on. The manipulation used to keep it alive is draining. I think Im beginning to realise that Im no match, I cant keep one step ahead anymore and maybe I never ever was. Actually I...	el-cee	6	453	Feb 27, 2014 by Nightingale
	Not good at relying on other people..... (Preview) You know that addicts and alcoholics let you down, so I learned to take care of myself and not rely on them. I got on the system in order to work only part time so I can go back to school full time in order to get a career and be totally self supporting in my future. Now I am slowing school down to part time th...	Breakingfree	11	462	Feb 27, 2014 by bud
	First Time Sponsorship? (Preview) Hello. I was recently asked to sponsor someone. This would be my first experience as a sponsor. I am thrilled and at the same time, a bit nervous. I have read the 2014-2017 Service Manual, Courage to Change and Hope For Today regarding sponsorship. Also, I have the "What Sponsorship Is and W...	Dee F	4	473	Feb 26, 2014 by Dee F
	Gay or Lesbian's out there? (closed) (Preview) My wife is my A. We married last July after it became legal for us. I was just wondering if there were any others on here other than me. :) Would be happy to chat to just share experiences.	jodiee34	8	1856	Feb 26, 2014 by John
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.