Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

NavySealWife · NavySealWife

It's been a whole four weeks since my biggest ordeal with my AH, and have learned many things thru my Al anon family and therapist. I love so much my AH but I know I cannot change him and his disease. I have learn to take care of me because I'm also human. I have many new friends on here and hope to continue my...

Akavanagh · Akavanagh

When I first started Al-anon i never thought id be able to get what everyone else seemed to have. I wanted it to happen over night! Through doing my OWN work I'm FINALLY starting to feel the peace from letting go. Trying different reactions and stopping negative thinking, im so much happier not trying t...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been contemplating starting over. I dream of being alone now, with no one else to have to contend with, with no one else to feel sorry for. With no more excuses for poor behavior. I told myself that I deserve better. My AH was gone (unplanned drinking adventure) for a little over a week, took the ca...

bud · bud

I don't know how my Mom managed to place a telephone call, but tonight she called me. She was crying hysterically- and when she calmed down told me that she is so unhappy where she is and wants to end her life. She is at an end stage nursing home, I am not the power of attorney, I did not put her there and I can...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

I will likely post way more than I should but wanted to say that today is day 2 that I havehad no contact with A, my ex. I feel like this is the hard part as I have to face the darkness and reality head on but somehow I feel encouraged. Thank you. Never thought I would be strong enough to leave.

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Once a group of 500 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each person a balloon. Each person was then asked to write their name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room. The people w...

Muffindog72 · Muffindog72

Hi. I no major drama to post about, but my life is quite chaotic most of the time. I am kinda new to the Al-Anon thing, have had the chance to attend a few real meetings, but the online ones seem to be so much more convenient for me. I am married to an AH, have been for 17 years. He is still in the denial stag...

Elswig · Elswig

My partner has a nitrous addiction so bad that I think you could write a case study about him. He's done about 5 boxes of 24 whippets a day for the last ten years. Some days he binges and does 15 boxes, which takes 12 hours of him sitting at a coffee table and staring at a TV set, some days he "only" d...

lostmomma · lostmomma

Hi,I am new to this program and need some guidance, my 30 year old daughter is a drug addict who is currently on suboxone for opiate use. She began using pain pills after she fractured her back 8 years ago and had 2 failed back surgeries. She has a 3year old son who she lost custody of to his father for about 8...

me chelle · me chelle

Hi. I'm confused and hope someone may help. I've never known my partner drink. he's been sober 6 years and I've known him for 2, but he, on occasion, is verbally aggressive, moody, etc and recently told me it's because he's not going to enough meetings. With this in mind I was thinking about maybe joinin...

Kate D · Kate D

Thanks for your honest posts. I am living a life full of fear at the moment because I no longer trust my husband. He is not an alcoholic. That's me. But he lived through the worst (God willing) of my active disease for 6 years before I got into recovery. Now, he has been (avoiding) dealing with his own admit...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

some day somehow this roller coaster will stop. not sure when not surehow. . .but mygoodness. .it just must. a huge thank to all of the support that has been sent my way this past week. im not in a much better spot but slowly puuling it back together. the thing that baffles me is how this ride changes and cau...

leafytree1 · leafytree1

Hi there, I'm brand-new to this board, but I've been a grateful member of Al-Anon for 19 years. I've attended meetings in both states where I've lived. Just reading a little, I already saw something great to hold onto: the acronym for DETACH ("don't even think about changing him/her")...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hello fellow alanoners, I was not able to share in the morning chat meeting because I am at work. I needed to. I am struggling again. My co worker came in this morning and started in on me. I need some program help. When I start to ask a question, she does not listen, interrupts and answers with a totally dif...

Diva · Diva

About two months ago, my A, with whom I no longer live, was helicoptered to Philadelphia for surgery. According to what he told me (I did not accompany him) he was told here locally that he might not make the 32 minute flight alive. He was asked if he wanted to be resuscitated, a question to which he answ...

RoseLady · RoseLady

I am new to al anon... Wish I would have found it years ago. It has already helped so much just to read this board and attend online meetings. I haven't yet been able to attend face to face meetings because of scheduling conflicts, but hope to attend in the near future. But for now, what I can do online ha...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

I have just broken up with the love of my life who is an alcoholic. We have been on and off for years. His drinking gets worse. He has cheated on me several times and has destroyed my self confidence. I paid for school for him to follow his dreams. He failed and cheated with the woman for the liquor store wh...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Tonight, my dad made me an offer in an effort to help me. He knows I'll be house hunting soon and offered that I could live with him while I am looking so that way I can save on a few months rent I would be paying. We had an honest talk about...

DMorl · DMorl

I am new here. Looked around online and chose this forum on a whim I feel silly coming here and even more silly going to a physical meeting. I don't think my problems are big enough to warrant it... I am 24, wrapping up 5 years of school, a decent job, lots ahead of me, and mostly well-adjusted and for the...

el-cee · el-cee

At my meeting this week an old timer shared and it was a powerful share that really got me thinking. She used an Alanon book called 'Transforming our Losses.' She spoke of mourning and how we usually think of mourning in terms of a death but when we live with alcoholism we lose the person to alcohol and it i...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well, I thought things were "better" and relatively speaking things have been better---I have been better at dealing with my AH. But I am off track this week, worn out and just plain ANGRY. I know that red flags are being thrown at me from every direction and I am basically throwing them bac...

Lyne · Lyne

Over the years I heard of people being in recovery for years and I never understood it. Like, why aren't you done? Well, now I get it. It is so easy to slip back into the mess that I became accustomed to. Two weeks ago I was happy and serene. This past week I am set back a bit with unreasonable expectatio...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So I filed my taxes for the first time in several years as "married" for the filing status. My AH passed on January 9, 2013, so I was hoping I would be safe this time around to file jointly. Ummm, BIG mistake. Even though the difference in the amount of the refund between filing jointly and marr...

John · John

Sounds contradictory huh? Frustrated because my son who is in prison writes to me only to tell me how much money he needs to have his personal belongings (clothes) shipped to me from the unit so they don't end up in a donation bin. Then there is the need for stamp and envelope money, and some basic hygie...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

if youve read any of my piats you know my story. similar to many. the past few days ive found myself profoundly depressed, anxious, lonely to the core and furious. its as if all of the tools have lost their ability to work, as if detachment is a foreign word, as if let go let God is another way of giving up. i j...

55Fairlane · 55Fairlane

I've been involved with Al-Anon for less than a year, I realize I still have much to learn and sometimes find it difficult speaking up or reaching out about sensitive matters such as this so I'm asking for your suggestions or shared experiences so I can hopefully gain some inspiration and insight on th...

Tasha · Tasha

Hello, and welcome to MIP - if you are new here, we are glad to see you reaching out for help for yourself. There are many resources here at Miracles In Progress. It is an amazing website. The founder and webmaster of MIP, an amazing example of working several 12 step 'programs' is remarkable. Durin...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So I have had a guy friend for over 13 years and he has wanted to date me when we were both single. I have kept him at bay, because he is a good friend and I have never wanted to ruin what we have. I met him while I was with my exAH and we worked together, nothing romantic ever entered either of our minds back then...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I woke up feeling sick but pushed myself to go to work then ended up leaving and have been home all day. Recovering abf came and got me, made me comfortable with blankets and then food when I woke up 3-4 hours later. It's stress that did me in. I am still inching my way out of that workplace. I've been app...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

and OMGOSH did that just tick me off .. LOL!! I'm working a 4th step on resentments (DUH!) and working with an RA friend of mine who has a lot of years. We had a discussion about it at meeting on Saturday. I just can't swallow the dang Blue Print for Progress .. it is not simple and for a simple program it's...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I am having a bit of a pity party, feeling like I am not good enough. Feeling like 'if only my parents had been different, my life would be different'..... it's all prompted by the notion that I see many younger or at the same age that a...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

good morning, so what is this roller coaster in on all of the time. . oh, it life wirh an alcohilic. last week i was ready to scream from the roof tops " im done". . for two weeks he has been out more than in, drunk more than sober. . this morning i wake up . . hes not home. .granted i was given heads up t...

ashraven · ashraven

I've noticed that when my A quits going to his AA meetings his morals seem to disappear as well. He stops going to AA and he starts cheating. It isn't that he is necessarily drunk when he cheats, he just isn't going to AA meetings. Am I the only one that this has happened to? Has a...

Nightingale · Nightingale

I'm so tired of feeling sad. I'm tired of being lonely. I tired of apologizing for my words being twisted into something other then I said. I'm tired of tiptoeing around my house and being told I make him walk on eggshells. I'm tired of begging for affection and watching my self respect disappear. I'm th...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

There is so much to tell and really can't tell to much yet .. LOL .. sorry for the tease I'm just very excited and I think that God has a way of working things out and that is ok. I got to visit with a girlfriend of mine who I have known since I was 5 and haven't seen for 30 years OMGOSH what a blast we had last night...

sunshine28 · sunshine28

My boyfriend is an alcoholic. I guess deep down, if Im being completely honest, I have known for quite a while. Finding bottles of liquor behind the garbage in the bathroom, or in a suitcase in the storage closet, isnt normal. Why didnt I ever address it with him? All the signs were there, and I never said...

montego · montego

My husband and I have an adult son who attends AA. he has gone for some time off and on. I cannot say to what degree he is honestly involved in the program. recently we agreed to let him return to our business on a part-time basis. Since that time someone has come to us and said he has been seen driving in ar...

Nankiepooh · Nankiepooh

Hi everyone I do not know if I am at the right place but I desperately need to talk to someone who will not judge or criticize me. I have search far and wide and eventually found you. I am married to a man who has been drinking non-stop for the last two to three years. He says that it is his "coping" m...

Nankiepooh · Nankiepooh

Jack says he wants to stop. I don't know if I must happy or sad, laugh histerically! He already did not drink a whole lot yesterday and got some withdrawel symptoms. I told him not stop so abrubtly and that he must lessen it up until the last drop is gone. Did I do the right thing? And how can I help to ease this...

Tan · Tan

Hi all, just wanting to know what kinds of things you say to your sponsees or friends or what your sponsorshave said to you if you felt higher power did not exist. My hus. Going to AA meetings now but refusing to believe in god. It just comes so naturally for me to believe in a higher power... i know we are n...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

Is it strange to feel puzzled that someone thinks I'm funny, intelligent and beautiful? The person I am when not in the grips of the disease. The person I have been missing without realizing she was gone. I have had glimpses of her a little more and more each day that I am able to focus on recovery. There we...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I've had my phone off but turn it on today. Yes my son continues to call but doesn't leave a message or text or email. I don't know what is going on but I don't want to know. I'm reading posts and the despair and hurt I read makes me feel so sad for others but it reinforces my conviction to let go and let God...

Snowflake74 · Snowflake74

Hello, first of all I want to thank everyone for their support over the last three weeks. You have helped me maintain my sanity and understand what was going on. On Monday my boyfriend stopped drinking. I went to his house to see for myself and sure enough he was only drinking ginger ale to help his stomac...

Stay strong · Stay strong

I am new to al anon. In the past three years husband has relapsed 3 times. Most recent relapse feb. 11, 2014. We a two year old and another due in two months. When husband drinks he hides and disappears for weeks. This time he has come home and I have moved out because he is still drinking. My family is furiou...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

First want to express how grateful I am for this site it has helped so much to read others experiences and see the progression and hear hope, hope for change, hope for happiness. The last two weeks at f2f meetings it's only been me and the leader, she is wonderful and I left feeling peaceful and calm each t...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Well, he flat out refused my request to refinance the house in his name only because "he doesn't want to". This was the boundary that I set a few weeks ago. I believe he thought he could stall me (he did for a few weeks) and I would back down and let it go but I contacted a lawyer yesterday. I'm wait...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

The rehab where my AH is at.... has suggested he go into a 1/2 way sober living house. Does anyone have experience with this system? I have told my AH that I will not allow him to live back with the family because he relapsed so quickly after his last attempt at recovery (3 days after rehab release). H...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

How does almost everything I say get twisted around, thrown back at me, and make me feel like crap. there's a reason and justification for everything. I can tell myself it's the disease but it doesn't make me feel any better after being yelled at for over an hour. Heard for first time that it was me not gi...

Jen61 · Jen61

I love reading One Day at a Time, Courage to Change and Hope for Today. On February 27th One Day at Time had a great reminder: Today's Reminder Trying to analyze why another person persists in destructive behaviors cannot help me out of my own difficulties. I can overcome them only by turning my thoug...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

el-cee · el-cee

Alanon has given me awareness of my shortcomings and the tools to remove them, im grateful for that. At least im no longer misersble, blaming it all on the alcoholic and justifying my bad behaviour. Im just feeling the badness creep in, I cant really bear people at the moment. My friends are really anno...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am at a point now where I think I am ready to move on with my life. I left my Alcoholic husband in July (8 months ago). I was on the brink of a breakdown from the alcoholism and verbally abusive behavior. He eventually went to rehab. It did not last long, but I had come home in the meantime. I got myself into r...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I heard an interesting concept this weekend: Worry is essentially the opposite of prayer. It's a lack of faith in our HP. It is thinking that our own obsessions are a bigger priority for our time than our time spent with our HP. The more time we allow for worrying, the less time we are allowing for prayer a...

John · John

This MomentWe all suffer, every day: worry, procrastination, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, irritated, angry, frustrated, wishing things were different, comparing ourselves to others, worried we’re missing out, wishing other people would be different, feeling offended, loneliness, fear...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

I forgot to post yesterday for Dr. Suess' birthday but I saw this in the newspaper and thought it was proper to post here..... You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess) Have a lovely night everyone!! Jilly

ladee · ladee

As much as I have had moments, in my head and heart, to break the No contact with my A son..... I followed my gut.... thought things thru..... and realized what I was missing I have not seen or been around in many years.... my sober son..... the disease has him masked and caped as a hurtful and hurting perso...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Our literature is really recovery treasure; a gift from HP and those who came before us. The difference between just waking up and "coming to" after reading our literature is awesome. If you haven't gotten into March 5th already...take the time, quiet slow time to read and absorb cau...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi, and yes, I got sucked back in to stinkin thinkin and didn't even realize it. It happened in such a subtle way. My A did several things that were so nice, like driving me to work in bad weather. I started feeling guilty. I'm detached and wanted to feel somethings I can't. So I tried to get my A to make...

grainne · grainne

My husband is an alcoholic. He knows it and admits it; I know it and his entire family know it too. It's the elephant in the room, nobody is willing to say it out loud. He himself admits it frequently, but that doesn't encourage him to do anything about it. It's as if by admitting the problem, he has identif...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Right now I am in the midst of mourning the loss of the relationship I wanted to have with my adult daughter. Alcohol seems to have replaced everything that used to have meaning for her....although occasionally a part of who she used to be will re surface and I will get my hopes up.....only to have Alcoho...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	TAKING IT STEP BY STEP (Preview) It's been a whole four weeks since my biggest ordeal with my AH, and have learned many things thru my Al anon family and therapist. I love so much my AH but I know I cannot change him and his disease. I have learn to take care of me because I'm also human. I have many new friends on here and hope to continue my...	NavySealWife	4	369	Mar 12, 2014 by NavySealWife
	Finally starting to feel the peace from letting go (Preview) When I first started Al-anon i never thought id be able to get what everyone else seemed to have. I wanted it to happen over night! Through doing my OWN work I'm FINALLY starting to feel the peace from letting go. Trying different reactions and stopping negative thinking, im so much happier not trying t...	Akavanagh	4	540	Mar 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	It is not just the drinking, its the stinking thinking.. (Preview) I have been contemplating starting over. I dream of being alone now, with no one else to have to contend with, with no one else to feel sorry for. With no more excuses for poor behavior. I told myself that I deserve better. My AH was gone (unplanned drinking adventure) for a little over a week, took the ca...	sadsusie	3	750	Mar 12, 2014 by Theoceancalls
	I am powerless and this is painful (Preview) I don't know how my Mom managed to place a telephone call, but tonight she called me. She was crying hysterically- and when she calmed down told me that she is so unhappy where she is and wants to end her life. She is at an end stage nursing home, I am not the power of attorney, I did not put her there and I can...	bud	14	654	Mar 12, 2014 by bud
	day two with no contact from A. (Preview) I will likely post way more than I should but wanted to say that today is day 2 that I havehad no contact with A, my ex. I feel like this is the hard part as I have to face the darkness and reality head on but somehow I feel encouraged. Thank you. Never thought I would be strong enough to leave.	Forgiveness82	3	416	Mar 12, 2014 by Forgiveness82
	Pursuit of Happiness (Preview) Once a group of 500 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each person a balloon. Each person was then asked to write their name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room. The people w...	kismetstrand	4	391	Mar 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Newbie Here (Preview) Hi. I no major drama to post about, but my life is quite chaotic most of the time. I am kinda new to the Al-Anon thing, have had the chance to attend a few real meetings, but the online ones seem to be so much more convenient for me. I am married to an AH, have been for 17 years. He is still in the denial stag...	Muffindog72	9	487	Mar 12, 2014 by Courage
	Does anyone else have experience with extreme nitrous addiction? (Preview) My partner has a nitrous addiction so bad that I think you could write a case study about him. He's done about 5 boxes of 24 whippets a day for the last ten years. Some days he binges and does 15 boxes, which takes 12 hours of him sitting at a coffee table and staring at a TV set, some days he "only" d...	Elswig	4	576	Mar 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Help with daugter (Preview) Hi,I am new to this program and need some guidance, my 30 year old daughter is a drug addict who is currently on suboxone for opiate use. She began using pain pills after she fractured her back 8 years ago and had 2 failed back surgeries. She has a 3year old son who she lost custody of to his father for about 8...	lostmomma	3	406	Mar 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	never known him drinking (Preview) Hi. I'm confused and hope someone may help. I've never known my partner drink. he's been sober 6 years and I've known him for 2, but he, on occasion, is verbally aggressive, moody, etc and recently told me it's because he's not going to enough meetings. With this in mind I was thinking about maybe joinin...	me chelle	9	523	Mar 11, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Detachment: how? (Preview) Thanks for your honest posts. I am living a life full of fear at the moment because I no longer trust my husband. He is not an alcoholic. That's me. But he lived through the worst (God willing) of my active disease for 6 years before I got into recovery. Now, he has been (avoiding) dealing with his own admit...	Kate D	11	684	Mar 11, 2014 by ilovedogs
	"mess/rollercoaster"update (Preview) some day somehow this roller coaster will stop. not sure when not surehow. . .but mygoodness. .it just must. a huge thank to all of the support that has been sent my way this past week. im not in a much better spot but slowly puuling it back together. the thing that baffles me is how this ride changes and cau...	Theoceancalls	7	740	Mar 11, 2014 by ilovedogs
	time to detach... (Preview) Hi there, I'm brand-new to this board, but I've been a grateful member of Al-Anon for 19 years. I've attended meetings in both states where I've lived. Just reading a little, I already saw something great to hold onto: the acronym for DETACH ("don't even think about changing him/her")...	leafytree1	1	355	Mar 11, 2014 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Struggling this morning need some ES&H (Preview) Hello fellow alanoners, I was not able to share in the morning chat meeting because I am at work. I needed to. I am struggling again. My co worker came in this morning and started in on me. I need some program help. When I start to ask a question, she does not listen, interrupts and answers with a totally dif...	mercedes1959	10	510	Mar 11, 2014 by mercedes1959
	OK. I admit it. I am as sick as he is. (Preview) About two months ago, my A, with whom I no longer live, was helicoptered to Philadelphia for surgery. According to what he told me (I did not accompany him) he was told here locally that he might not make the 32 minute flight alive. He was asked if he wanted to be resuscitated, a question to which he answ...	Diva	7	692	Mar 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Powerless (Preview) I am new to al anon... Wish I would have found it years ago. It has already helped so much just to read this board and attend online meetings. I haven't yet been able to attend face to face meetings because of scheduling conflicts, but hope to attend in the near future. But for now, what I can do online ha...	RoseLady	10	575	Mar 10, 2014 by Newlife girl
	New & hopeless (Preview) I have just broken up with the love of my life who is an alcoholic. We have been on and off for years. His drinking gets worse. He has cheated on me several times and has destroyed my self confidence. I paid for school for him to follow his dreams. He failed and cheated with the woman for the liquor store wh...	Forgiveness82	14	594	Mar 10, 2014 by Forgiveness82
	My dad made an interesting offer to me tonight.... (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Tonight, my dad made me an offer in an effort to help me. He knows I'll be house hunting soon and offered that I could live with him while I am looking so that way I can save on a few months rent I would be paying. We had an honest talk about...	slogan_jim	10	652	Mar 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	I think my partner is an alcoholic. (Preview) I am new here. Looked around online and chose this forum on a whim I feel silly coming here and even more silly going to a physical meeting. I don't think my problems are big enough to warrant it... I am 24, wrapping up 5 years of school, a decent job, lots ahead of me, and mostly well-adjusted and for the...	DMorl	14	747	Mar 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Losses (Preview) At my meeting this week an old timer shared and it was a powerful share that really got me thinking. She used an Alanon book called 'Transforming our Losses.' She spoke of mourning and how we usually think of mourning in terms of a death but when we live with alcoholism we lose the person to alcohol and it i...	el-cee	11	668	Mar 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	just need to get my mind in a better place (Preview) Well, I thought things were "better" and relatively speaking things have been better---I have been better at dealing with my AH. But I am off track this week, worn out and just plain ANGRY. I know that red flags are being thrown at me from every direction and I am basically throwing them bac...	Theoceancalls	6	499	Mar 10, 2014 by DIAMONDGIRL
	keep coming back (Preview) Over the years I heard of people being in recovery for years and I never understood it. Like, why aren't you done? Well, now I get it. It is so easy to slip back into the mess that I became accustomed to. Two weeks ago I was happy and serene. This past week I am set back a bit with unreasonable expectatio...	Lyne	4	960	Mar 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Courage to Change serenity (Preview) So I filed my taxes for the first time in several years as "married" for the filing status. My AH passed on January 9, 2013, so I was hoping I would be safe this time around to file jointly. Ummm, BIG mistake. Even though the difference in the amount of the refund between filing jointly and marr...	Green Eyes	6	8385	Mar 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Frustrated, but okay... (Preview) Sounds contradictory huh? Frustrated because my son who is in prison writes to me only to tell me how much money he needs to have his personal belongings (clothes) shipped to me from the unit so they don't end up in a donation bin. Then there is the need for stamp and envelope money, and some basic hygie...	John	13	585	Mar 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	im just a mess (Preview) if youve read any of my piats you know my story. similar to many. the past few days ive found myself profoundly depressed, anxious, lonely to the core and furious. its as if all of the tools have lost their ability to work, as if detachment is a foreign word, as if let go let God is another way of giving up. i j...	Theoceancalls	16	598	Mar 10, 2014 by DIAMONDGIRL
	Relationship boundaries (with his former mistress) after an affair. Alanon Al Anon Al-Anon Alcoholics Anonymous A.A. AA Narcotics Anonymous N.A. NA affair affairs unfaithful slept with cheated cheats mistress mistresses relationship relationships recovery recovering boundary boundaries heal healing hurt anger angry communicate communicating healthy moving forward respect respectfully suggestion suggestions advice resources books websites help (Preview) I've been involved with Al-Anon for less than a year, I realize I still have much to learn and sometimes find it difficult speaking up or reaching out about sensitive matters such as this so I'm asking for your suggestions or shared experiences so I can hopefully gain some inspiration and insight on th...	55Fairlane	9	8538	Mar 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Welcome Family (Preview) Hello, and welcome to MIP - if you are new here, we are glad to see you reaching out for help for yourself. There are many resources here at Miracles In Progress. It is an amazing website. The founder and webmaster of MIP, an amazing example of working several 12 step 'programs' is remarkable. Durin...	Tasha	2	425	Mar 9, 2014 by DavidG
	So greatful that I don't ignore my red flags anymore..... (Preview) So I have had a guy friend for over 13 years and he has wanted to date me when we were both single. I have kept him at bay, because he is a good friend and I have never wanted to ruin what we have. I met him while I was with my exAH and we worked together, nothing romantic ever entered either of our minds back then...	Breakingfree	6	652	Mar 9, 2014 by tortuga
	Feeling sick and wanted to check in (Preview) I woke up feeling sick but pushed myself to go to work then ended up leaving and have been home all day. Recovering abf came and got me, made me comfortable with blankets and then food when I woke up 3-4 hours later. It's stress that did me in. I am still inching my way out of that workplace. I've been app...	tiredtonite	7	572	Mar 9, 2014 by tiredtonite
	There are no justifiable resentments in this room .. (Preview) and OMGOSH did that just tick me off .. LOL!! I'm working a 4th step on resentments (DUH!) and working with an RA friend of mine who has a lot of years. We had a discussion about it at meeting on Saturday. I just can't swallow the dang Blue Print for Progress .. it is not simple and for a simple program it's...	SerenityRUS	4	468	Mar 9, 2014 by Jerry F
	Over-extending myself. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I am having a bit of a pity party, feeling like I am not good enough. Feeling like 'if only my parents had been different, my life would be different'..... it's all prompted by the notion that I see many younger or at the same age that a...	slogan_jim	11	699	Mar 9, 2014 by el-cee
	the rollercoaster (Preview) good morning, so what is this roller coaster in on all of the time. . oh, it life wirh an alcohilic. last week i was ready to scream from the roof tops " im done". . for two weeks he has been out more than in, drunk more than sober. . this morning i wake up . . hes not home. .granted i was given heads up t...	Theoceancalls	4	535	Mar 9, 2014 by Beatrice
	No AA=No morals? (Preview) I've noticed that when my A quits going to his AA meetings his morals seem to disappear as well. He stops going to AA and he starts cheating. It isn't that he is necessarily drunk when he cheats, he just isn't going to AA meetings. Am I the only one that this has happened to? Has a...	ashraven	8	651	Mar 9, 2014 by Truth
	Frozen Out (Preview) I'm so tired of feeling sad. I'm tired of being lonely. I tired of apologizing for my words being twisted into something other then I said. I'm tired of tiptoeing around my house and being told I make him walk on eggshells. I'm tired of begging for affection and watching my self respect disappear. I'm th...	Nightingale	12	653	Mar 9, 2014 by Truth
	First thing First .. (Preview) There is so much to tell and really can't tell to much yet .. LOL .. sorry for the tease I'm just very excited and I think that God has a way of working things out and that is ok. I got to visit with a girlfriend of mine who I have known since I was 5 and haven't seen for 30 years OMGOSH what a blast we had last night...	SerenityRUS	4	511	Mar 9, 2014 by Ifnotforgrace
	Struggling & Confused alcoholic boyfriend sad lost confused struggle lies advice (Preview) My boyfriend is an alcoholic. I guess deep down, if Im being completely honest, I have known for quite a while. Finding bottles of liquor behind the garbage in the bathroom, or in a suitcase in the storage closet, isnt normal. Why didnt I ever address it with him? All the signs were there, and I never said...	sunshine28	3	7940	Mar 9, 2014 by John in GA
	protecting and becoming wary (Preview) My husband and I have an adult son who attends AA. he has gone for some time off and on. I cannot say to what degree he is honestly involved in the program. recently we agreed to let him return to our business on a part-time basis. Since that time someone has come to us and said he has been seen driving in ar...	montego	9	512	Mar 9, 2014 by el-cee
	Why do I feel guilty? (Preview) Hi everyone I do not know if I am at the right place but I desperately need to talk to someone who will not judge or criticize me. I have search far and wide and eventually found you. I am married to a man who has been drinking non-stop for the last two to three years. He says that it is his "coping" m...	Nankiepooh	21	903	Mar 9, 2014 by Nankiepooh
	He says he wants this darkness toe end (Preview) Jack says he wants to stop. I don't know if I must happy or sad, laugh histerically! He already did not drink a whole lot yesterday and got some withdrawel symptoms. I told him not stop so abrubtly and that he must lessen it up until the last drop is gone. Did I do the right thing? And how can I help to ease this...	Nankiepooh	8	606	Mar 8, 2014 by Jerry F
	Higher power... (Preview) Hi all, just wanting to know what kinds of things you say to your sponsees or friends or what your sponsorshave said to you if you felt higher power did not exist. My hus. Going to AA meetings now but refusing to believe in god. It just comes so naturally for me to believe in a higher power... i know we are n...	Tan	5	391	Mar 8, 2014 by maryjane
	The person I had forgotten (Preview) Is it strange to feel puzzled that someone thinks I'm funny, intelligent and beautiful? The person I am when not in the grips of the disease. The person I have been missing without realizing she was gone. I have had glimpses of her a little more and more each day that I am able to focus on recovery. There we...	Mari1978	5	430	Mar 8, 2014 by Lyne
	Reading (Preview) I've had my phone off but turn it on today. Yes my son continues to call but doesn't leave a message or text or email. I don't know what is going on but I don't want to know. I'm reading posts and the despair and hurt I read makes me feel so sad for others but it reinforces my conviction to let go and let God...	Cathyinaz	10	595	Mar 8, 2014 by Katytexasmom
	He stopped drinking (Preview) Hello, first of all I want to thank everyone for their support over the last three weeks. You have helped me maintain my sanity and understand what was going on. On Monday my boyfriend stopped drinking. I went to his house to see for myself and sure enough he was only drinking ginger ale to help his stomac...	Snowflake74	7	521	Mar 8, 2014 by milkwood
	Baby due in two weeks husband on bender (Preview) I am new to al anon. In the past three years husband has relapsed 3 times. Most recent relapse feb. 11, 2014. We a two year old and another due in two months. When husband drinks he hides and disappears for weeks. This time he has come home and I have moved out because he is still drinking. My family is furiou...	Stay strong	5	694	Mar 8, 2014 by Stay strong
	Putting it in writing (Preview) First want to express how grateful I am for this site it has helped so much to read others experiences and see the progression and hear hope, hope for change, hope for happiness. The last two weeks at f2f meetings it's only been me and the leader, she is wonderful and I left feeling peaceful and calm each t...	Kerrymom	4	509	Mar 8, 2014 by Nankiepooh
	The Next Right Thing . . . Divorce? (Preview) Well, he flat out refused my request to refinance the house in his name only because "he doesn't want to". This was the boundary that I set a few weeks ago. I believe he thought he could stall me (he did for a few weeks) and I would back down and let it go but I contacted a lawyer yesterday. I'm wait...	wornoutmrsfixit	9	682	Mar 7, 2014 by wornoutmrsfixit
	AH graduating rehab and into 1/2 way?? (Preview) The rehab where my AH is at.... has suggested he go into a 1/2 way sober living house. Does anyone have experience with this system? I have told my AH that I will not allow him to live back with the family because he relapsed so quickly after his last attempt at recovery (3 days after rehab release). H...	jillybean1	3	674	Mar 7, 2014 by el-cee
	What just happened? (Preview) How does almost everything I say get twisted around, thrown back at me, and make me feel like crap. there's a reason and justification for everything. I can tell myself it's the disease but it doesn't make me feel any better after being yelled at for over an hour. Heard for first time that it was me not gi...	Kerrymom	13	599	Mar 7, 2014 by Kerrymom
	One Day at a Time in Al-Anon (Preview) I love reading One Day at a Time, Courage to Change and Hope for Today. On February 27th One Day at Time had a great reminder: Today's Reminder Trying to analyze why another person persists in destructive behaviors cannot help me out of my own difficulties. I can overcome them only by turning my thoug...	Jen61	6	512	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Couldn't have said it better myself. (Preview)	SpiderArcana	5	378	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	shortcomings (Preview) Alanon has given me awareness of my shortcomings and the tools to remove them, im grateful for that. At least im no longer misersble, blaming it all on the alcoholic and justifying my bad behaviour. Im just feeling the badness creep in, I cant really bear people at the moment. My friends are really anno...	el-cee	11	942	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Ready to move on with my life... (Preview) I am at a point now where I think I am ready to move on with my life. I left my Alcoholic husband in July (8 months ago). I was on the brink of a breakdown from the alcoholism and verbally abusive behavior. He eventually went to rehab. It did not last long, but I had come home in the meantime. I got myself into r...	sadsusie	7	674	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Worry vs. Prayer worry letting go and letting God (Preview) I heard an interesting concept this weekend: Worry is essentially the opposite of prayer. It's a lack of faith in our HP. It is thinking that our own obsessions are a bigger priority for our time than our time spent with our HP. The more time we allow for worrying, the less time we are allowing for prayer a...	Green Eyes	10	5168	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	This Moment (Preview) This MomentWe all suffer, every day: worry, procrastination, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, irritated, angry, frustrated, wishing things were different, comparing ourselves to others, worried we’re missing out, wishing other people would be different, feeling offended, loneliness, fear...	John	7	362	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	my favorite Dr. Suess (Preview) I forgot to post yesterday for Dr. Suess' birthday but I saw this in the newspaper and thought it was proper to post here..... You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess) Have a lovely night everyone!! Jilly	jillybean1	7	400	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Following my gut... (Preview) As much as I have had moments, in my head and heart, to break the No contact with my A son..... I followed my gut.... thought things thru..... and realized what I was missing I have not seen or been around in many years.... my sober son..... the disease has him masked and caped as a hurtful and hurting perso...	ladee	4	426	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Conference Approved Literature (Preview) Our literature is really recovery treasure; a gift from HP and those who came before us. The difference between just waking up and "coming to" after reading our literature is awesome. If you haven't gotten into March 5th already...take the time, quiet slow time to read and absorb cau...	Jerry F	6	633	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	sucked back in (Preview) Hi, and yes, I got sucked back in to stinkin thinkin and didn't even realize it. It happened in such a subtle way. My A did several things that were so nice, like driving me to work in bad weather. I started feeling guilty. I'm detached and wanted to feel somethings I can't. So I tried to get my A to make...	Lyne	8	497	Mar 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	husband's drinking affecting family life (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. He knows it and admits it; I know it and his entire family know it too. It's the elephant in the room, nobody is willing to say it out loud. He himself admits it frequently, but that doesn't encourage him to do anything about it. It's as if by admitting the problem, he has identif...	grainne	6	691	Mar 5, 2014 by Theoceancalls
	Mourning the loss (Preview) Right now I am in the midst of mourning the loss of the relationship I wanted to have with my adult daughter. Alcohol seems to have replaced everything that used to have meaning for her....although occasionally a part of who she used to be will re surface and I will get my hopes up.....only to have Alcoho...	lgnutah	7	656	Mar 5, 2014 by bud
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.