Twelve Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcoholthat our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Sometimes I have to reread through these and take a refresher course, because we never graduate from our al-anon recovery. I am glad you found us here at MIP! I believe everything happens for a reason and there is a lesson in it for someone when something happens that upsets our balance. Sometimes I am fighting handing something over, playing God in other peoples lives. Distracting myself from what is mine to deal with, or so many things and I have to dig and do the work to figure it out. I make amends when I need to and let it go. Keeping my side of the street clean is hard work honestly, but keeps me feeling so free and moving forward in the end. I am glad you were able to come here and post. Take what you like and leave the rest. Sending you love and support on your journey!

 

 

 

(((((Jacob)))))...As I understand it now, thru our program and my recovery in it, often our motive are good and clear and yet our actions not acceptable which doesn't mean bad.  Alcoholism isn't a moral issue...it is a disease and often times I "intended" good and wasn't accepted by those I intended to.  When I came to understand that I also came to understand "progress never perfection" and the guilt and shame started to subside.  I was wrong became I was premature and or I was disrespectful for not asking first.  We have apology and amends tools which we can use in our lives.  Apology for me is openly stating I did something wrong, out of place, in error and amends for me means I have a solution on how to change it and the willingness and effort.  

Ours is a lifetime program; effort thank God.  I get to forgive and change my self.   The 12th step for me is about using the proper sized bat to hit the ball rather than an oversized mallet.  It also is about being in the right ball park when I get ready to swing.  Often times the other team doesn't want me to show up for the game either.

It works when you work it...sounds like another opportunity to work it.  Thanks for the reminder...I can alway use this cause the samething in part is happening here. (((((hugs))))) 

 

 

Early on in Al-Anon my sponsor told me that I was going to have to separate myself "from all things alcohol" which for me mean't my wife and family...pretty much everyone in my life and for some special reason I found that to be very acceptable with the exception of my alcoholic/addict wife which was normal I found out because she was the one person in my life who I chose to be there and everyone else came attached to my dna.  Separating from my family didn't start much trouble, increased it a bit however I had already been having years of trouble with them from when I was small.  We were born and raised inside of this disease so insanity was normal atmosphere with us...we did it better than anything else we tried.  What pissed them off a bunch was that I changed even more in behavior and personality as a member of the program and while they didn't like the morph I began to love it and love myself.  They lost position in regard to higher powers, including my parents and then surprisingly the program gave my mother the son she always wanted and never knew how to bring around.  She was the daughter and sister of alcoholics and she and several sisters suffered terribly that part of the disease which is mental and emotional.  I have great compassion for those who don't drink yet acquire the mental and emotional damage.  My family has victims all over the place.  

I "don't go over there" much anymore.  I recognize them as family because they are and do not participate in the disease with them.  Relapses which are part of the addiction continue to happen which increases the insanity and spreads it outward and still thank God I will keep myself separate from it.  I've told my children and grand-children that if they ever have a problem with the disease in any form that there are hundreds of people I can refer them to who will willingly help them understand.  Chances are almost certain that the person least able to help the addicted will be family...some will object to this idea however I am a former alcohol and substance abuse behavioral health therapist so it comes with experience.  The family is close and wants to help and love is the easiest characteristic to refuse.

Let them see your walk...your program...don't talk it; walk it.  Be clear and commited to what you will and will not do as taught in the rooms and leave the rest up to your Higher Power and its instruments.  If you have a Just For Today pamphlet; read the servants prayer on the back and then wait for instructions cause for me when your HP calls you to help you will know and it might not be family.  Keep coming back..   ((((hugs)))) 

-- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 2nd of March 2014 10:17:33 PM