The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi,I am new to this program and need some guidance, my 30 year old daughter is a drug addict who is currently on suboxone for opiate use. She began using pain pills after she fractured her back 8 years ago and had 2 failed back surgeries. She has a 3year old son who she lost custody of to his father for about 8 months, she has been in and out of rehab's and physch hospitals for the past 2 years. She was doing OK on the suboxone until she got joint custody back 2 months ago. She has lost her fiancé, her car, her job, her son and most of her family because of drugs I am all she has left. She can not face the fact that her child's father will not take her back and is using the pain pills to numb herself, she is in complete denial and thinks she is fooling everyone. She found a new doctor and never told him the truth about her past except for her back problems and he gave her vicodin for her so called pain, I found it and flushed it, I called the doctor and informed him of her past history and then I took off for a few days and stayed with a friend, I needed to think and clear my head. We had no contact while I was gone and she called everyone including my therapist looking for me, she was going out of her mind because she didn't know where I was. I was gone for almost a week but know I am home, she seems ok at the moment because she has no pills but I know it's only a matter of time. I know we need to talk and would like to go to family counseling with her but I am so hurt and angry that she deceived me again I don't know how to handle this one. If she uses again I am going to be forced to let her son's father know and she will definitely loose custody for good this time which I have told her will happen. I would appreciate some advice and guidance on this. Thank You.
My dad was a oxycodone/vicadin addict and my Mom uses drugs and alcohol and I married an alcoholic. All I can tell you is with al-anon I have learned to detach with love from my A's and let them face their own natural consequences for their choices. I used to enable, save, try to fix and made myself their HP, but I am not God and can't handle the responsibility of it. I am so glad you found us at MIP and I suggest al-anon face to face meetings, finding a sponsor and reading al-anon literature. Two books that helped me a lot were "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews and "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie helped me to learn and grow a lot. Sending you much love and support!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Hello and welcome to MIP. My son is an alcoholic and drug addict. Lectures, talks, nagging, pleading have never worked against his disease. Al-anon helped me learn to stop helping and start taking better care of me. I agree with Breakingfree's suggestions for you and hope that you will follow them for your sake. We are powerless over this disease and over our adult children. Nothing we say or do will make a difference. They will use or they won't use. That's up to them. What we can do is learn how to avoid being destroyed by the disease ourselves in Al-Anon. Keep coming back. We've been there or are still there. We understand the fear, the anger, the worry, the frustration. Al-Anon offers antidotes to those poisons within us.
I'll encourage you to keep daily contact here at MIP and also look for Al-Anon face to face meeting in your area. The hotline number should be in the white pages of your local telephone book. This disease of addiction is cunning, powerful and baffling. You see the damage and are in it. We are about trying to fix and heal ourselves no matter if the alcoholic and addict are drinking and using or not. Keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
