Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bora · bora

Hey, I'm pretty new. Have had two meetings... I'm afraid I lost it tonight. I have been thinking of the art of letting go (what a relief not to feel guilty for doing things /for not doing things for not leaving /for not trying hard enough) This week I have been thinking of progress not perfection and als...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I again called exAH to let him know that my 16 year old wants to head back with him and my little one for her Spring break next week and well I could tell he was hanging. Once I realized he was probably drinking every night after work while I had our 5 year old and I just got so mad. I told him he is an idiot and that...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

lol. I get a student allowance. And I'm extremely grateful for it. However the other day I received a phone call to tell me that my allowance had been cancelled as I had not attended an appointment. I called and was told that this was a mistake as I was a) not required to attend an appointment and b) my allow...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH just got back from a business trip. He is being very nice and communicative. Ah yes, out of the ordinary at this point because he's been silent and derisive last week. I just needed a place to vent. I'm going to a meeting tonight, thankfully! I'm just so tired of the up and the down. One day he a...

Mari1988 · Mari1988

Hi all,My name is Marisa and my husband is an AH & NA. I found this website last night when my husband was drunk and raging out. I feel like Im walking on glass. I need help because my heart is heavy. I feel like I need someone to talk too thats been in my shoes or is wearing them. My husband has been drinkin...

sadsusie · sadsusie

So My AH convinced me to give him a 2nd chance. He agreed to the following among other things 90 meetings in 90 days, if he were to miss a meeting he goes to two the next day. No drinking obviously. no lying. SO 1. He found some beer I had hidden and drank it. 2. lied and said that he "dumped it"...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57030894/alanon-step-2/

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I'm in a state I don't like. No I'm not having one bit of problem with my son but I used to be able to handle most anything that comes my way but lately that has changed. Example: I lost my doctor and hospital because of the insurance company not picking up the network. I went right into panic...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As usual on a rainy day I am not having fun! I haven't been able to kick up my heels & jump in some rain puddles. I am struggling w/ hurry & indesion. Can't spell either. I am trying not to stress over anything. I just want to slow down & take it all in. The rain doesn't usually bother me too much bu...

mongowal · mongowal

AH has been out of house for 7 months now. He avoids me at all costs with reasons like "If I see you I will want you" or "It is too hard on me to see you". Had a conversation with AH the other day and I have to say instead of letting his irrational thoughts get to me, I almost had to laug...

redred · redred

This may be like asking the length of a piece of string BUT how long can someone survive with serious liver disease while continuing to drink? My mum has severe ascites, no appetite, has lost over three stone in weight, very shaky, cold, has difficulty walking, gets very confused and makes up things t...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Finally said it today in counseling, been weighing on me since my baby was born, just short of 6 weeks early, it's my fault she was premature. I was so stressed trying to keep it together, shield my son from the dysfunction of drunk dad, my anger at AH, and I had went away for a girl scrapbook weekend the wee...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

I attended my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday in Canada. It was absolutely amazing. I was scared to attend but I left there feeling like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder. Just a post of appreciation and gratitude.

Akavanagh · Akavanagh

Hey guys, quick question. When the A in your life chooses not to drink that day, do you bring it up in almost a "thank you for making that choice today" sort of way? Or is it better to just not mention it? Or is it better to just carry on as usual?

redred · redred

Hello this is my first time on here. I have just returned from my Mums house. Its her Birthday. I brought cards and presents. The visit started well until she started rehashing things that happened in the past. Most of which she does not remember properly. She changes the stories and adds in load...

Lyne · Lyne

Someone I have grown to care about got sick this week and landed in the hospital. It really threw me. Couldn't sleep for two nights. I have taken a good, long look at myself as a result. I am not afraid to die (I'm not wanting to die). What I really fear is loss. I fear loss so much so that for the last at l...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

thank you for the PM. i am not able to reply though as i always get an error message. i can receive the PMs though.and would love to e chat with you. if you are able, send me an email through pm and i will correspond with you via email. otherwise thank you. a kindred spirit you may be and our profession itself m...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Umm .. I don't even know where to start on this post .. I will be able to share more after today and I will try to get into my coffee shop to do so .. LOL. I had court on Monday and my atty is stating that there seems to be an urgency to end the divorce .. which is great .. however .. based upon what I know .. I may be th...

tortuga · tortuga

hello MIP, well I'm still working my program far away from Al Anon meetings. But nevertheless I am changing my behaviors and attitudes through keeping up the work. And HP does it such ways, that here in my remote area, I also came across the issue of alcoholic disease and it's partner: co-dependence. N...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I stumbled across a new quote that is now among my "recovery" favorites.... "You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to." - Author Unknown.... I think that one speaks volumes, and it made me smile today. Tom p.s. My "favorites list" would now includ...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have my little one for Spring break and I had to take her to the ER last night for a major bladder infection. This is the second one since he has had her, no history of this before. I called him to find out when she got off the last antibiotic and he sounded drunk and could not tell me what she was on and the las...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

If ya'll could please send some prayers/good thoughts my family's way I'd appreciate it..we have decided to do a professional intervention for my AM. It's in 03/30/2014. My dad, brother, sister & I already met once with the person my brother knows...we're meeting again this weekend..and in th...

el-cee · el-cee

Another realisation I have had, thanks to a member of this fellowship is that this program takes serious committment. Setting boundaries of my own and living this program. Its not enough just to know it and think it. You have got to live it . I have not been living it fully, is it possible to live it fully?...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am not new to this site; I just haven't been on here for awhile. For those who don't know me, I have been coming to our local library to get on here for years. I am unable to even though I have a tablet been able to post. Long story: I can't seem to be comfortable on the chairs. I am on my knees right now. I am frus...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Hi everyone. I am new here. I haven't introduced myself yet. I have been going to al anon for about a year. My AH is why I started to go to meetings. I go to meetings for myself now because I have worked through the first 4 steps so I know I need to look at myself and I accept I cannot change my AH. My AH was hospita...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I was looking back through my posts (the remind me where I came from and show me my progress) and I noticed my first one was in March of last year. I kept thinking, 'That can't be right. I've only been working with Al Anon and MIP for about 4-5 months!' Nope. March 2013. I can't believe where I was, and wh...

CDK · CDK

Hi Sweet-ones, It's been almost 2 years since I left my exA. No contact. Have been in recovery (mostly other programs than al anon, but I stop in from time to time) And lately, I have had this fresh crop of grief about it. I. MISS. HIM! What the heck? I am crying late at night and paralyzed again? I'm strugg...

Tricksie · Tricksie

Hi folks, My stepson now lives with us full-time because his mom has been consumed by her alcoholism. He is 9. He isn't much for talking about his emotions...I know he misses his mom, but he also seems happy/well-adjusted and glad to be in our house with us. We have talked to him about the idea of therapy...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Remember when I didn't go to the one and only meeting in my town because there were only 2 other people and it seemed repetetive and various other excuses? Well there seem to always be at least 5 regulars now (I am becoming one of them) and a few other "blow-ins". And I love it! It doesn't feel...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Hi all

Just a small update. I haven't been posting a whole lot because...well, I guess I'm in "doing' mode just at the moment and I tend to get lost in words when I sit down and write. I log on daily and read everyone's ESH and love you all to pieces. But anyway, I'm finding that my "doing&qu...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: PLease include Grateful and family in your prayers; her Dad is very ill. She is with him and I'm sure would appreciate hugs from the MIP family. (((MIP))) Mary

neshema2 · neshema2

i guess i am the odd ball in the recovery scene.......The word "love" is used a lot in the course of recovery relating....but what IS love really??? and isn't that a choice??? Based on experience???.....and isn't it born out of another's being more of a blessing then a curse??? I mean sho...

Jozie · Jozie

So Often in Life I Find myself the Martyr, I think at times Out of Habit, and others times because I'm Feeling Low or just Reaching for attention... but in looking back over Many Hard Years these last 5+yrs, I have also found some of my Saving Grace Moments... When My Parents Split I was 9 or 10, it was Bruta...

southernlass · southernlass

I am very new to Al-Anon, (in fact it will be one week on Thursday) and I would appreciate your experiences as I am currently trying to work out if you can ever trust someone after it has been broken. Is this something that can be regained or is it lost forever?? Thank you for any replies in advance.This i...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

soooo. . just a random question as i dont understand withdrawl i guess, not that my ah is stopping his drinking or anything. . .but what happens to someones body who typixally drinks 3-4 times a week on the "off"days. . i mean i know i may get a slight headache if i dont hve my morning cup of coffe...

NavySealWife · NavySealWife

It's been a whole four weeks since my biggest ordeal with my AH, and have learned many things thru my Al anon family and therapist. I love so much my AH but I know I cannot change him and his disease. I have learn to take care of me because I'm also human. I have many new friends on here and hope to continue my...

Akavanagh · Akavanagh

When I first started Al-anon i never thought id be able to get what everyone else seemed to have. I wanted it to happen over night! Through doing my OWN work I'm FINALLY starting to feel the peace from letting go. Trying different reactions and stopping negative thinking, im so much happier not trying t...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been contemplating starting over. I dream of being alone now, with no one else to have to contend with, with no one else to feel sorry for. With no more excuses for poor behavior. I told myself that I deserve better. My AH was gone (unplanned drinking adventure) for a little over a week, took the ca...

bud · bud

I don't know how my Mom managed to place a telephone call, but tonight she called me. She was crying hysterically- and when she calmed down told me that she is so unhappy where she is and wants to end her life. She is at an end stage nursing home, I am not the power of attorney, I did not put her there and I can...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

I will likely post way more than I should but wanted to say that today is day 2 that I havehad no contact with A, my ex. I feel like this is the hard part as I have to face the darkness and reality head on but somehow I feel encouraged. Thank you. Never thought I would be strong enough to leave.

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Once a group of 500 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each person a balloon. Each person was then asked to write their name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room. The people w...

Muffindog72 · Muffindog72

Hi. I no major drama to post about, but my life is quite chaotic most of the time. I am kinda new to the Al-Anon thing, have had the chance to attend a few real meetings, but the online ones seem to be so much more convenient for me. I am married to an AH, have been for 17 years. He is still in the denial stag...

Elswig · Elswig

My partner has a nitrous addiction so bad that I think you could write a case study about him. He's done about 5 boxes of 24 whippets a day for the last ten years. Some days he binges and does 15 boxes, which takes 12 hours of him sitting at a coffee table and staring at a TV set, some days he "only" d...

lostmomma · lostmomma

Hi,I am new to this program and need some guidance, my 30 year old daughter is a drug addict who is currently on suboxone for opiate use. She began using pain pills after she fractured her back 8 years ago and had 2 failed back surgeries. She has a 3year old son who she lost custody of to his father for about 8...

me chelle · me chelle

Hi. I'm confused and hope someone may help. I've never known my partner drink. he's been sober 6 years and I've known him for 2, but he, on occasion, is verbally aggressive, moody, etc and recently told me it's because he's not going to enough meetings. With this in mind I was thinking about maybe joinin...

Kate D · Kate D

Thanks for your honest posts. I am living a life full of fear at the moment because I no longer trust my husband. He is not an alcoholic. That's me. But he lived through the worst (God willing) of my active disease for 6 years before I got into recovery. Now, he has been (avoiding) dealing with his own admit...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

some day somehow this roller coaster will stop. not sure when not surehow. . .but mygoodness. .it just must. a huge thank to all of the support that has been sent my way this past week. im not in a much better spot but slowly puuling it back together. the thing that baffles me is how this ride changes and cau...

leafytree1 · leafytree1

Hi there, I'm brand-new to this board, but I've been a grateful member of Al-Anon for 19 years. I've attended meetings in both states where I've lived. Just reading a little, I already saw something great to hold onto: the acronym for DETACH ("don't even think about changing him/her")...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hello fellow alanoners, I was not able to share in the morning chat meeting because I am at work. I needed to. I am struggling again. My co worker came in this morning and started in on me. I need some program help. When I start to ask a question, she does not listen, interrupts and answers with a totally dif...

Diva · Diva

About two months ago, my A, with whom I no longer live, was helicoptered to Philadelphia for surgery. According to what he told me (I did not accompany him) he was told here locally that he might not make the 32 minute flight alive. He was asked if he wanted to be resuscitated, a question to which he answ...

RoseLady · RoseLady

I am new to al anon... Wish I would have found it years ago. It has already helped so much just to read this board and attend online meetings. I haven't yet been able to attend face to face meetings because of scheduling conflicts, but hope to attend in the near future. But for now, what I can do online ha...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

I have just broken up with the love of my life who is an alcoholic. We have been on and off for years. His drinking gets worse. He has cheated on me several times and has destroyed my self confidence. I paid for school for him to follow his dreams. He failed and cheated with the woman for the liquor store wh...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Tonight, my dad made me an offer in an effort to help me. He knows I'll be house hunting soon and offered that I could live with him while I am looking so that way I can save on a few months rent I would be paying. We had an honest talk about...

DMorl · DMorl

I am new here. Looked around online and chose this forum on a whim I feel silly coming here and even more silly going to a physical meeting. I don't think my problems are big enough to warrant it... I am 24, wrapping up 5 years of school, a decent job, lots ahead of me, and mostly well-adjusted and for the...

el-cee · el-cee

At my meeting this week an old timer shared and it was a powerful share that really got me thinking. She used an Alanon book called 'Transforming our Losses.' She spoke of mourning and how we usually think of mourning in terms of a death but when we live with alcoholism we lose the person to alcohol and it i...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well, I thought things were "better" and relatively speaking things have been better---I have been better at dealing with my AH. But I am off track this week, worn out and just plain ANGRY. I know that red flags are being thrown at me from every direction and I am basically throwing them bac...

Lyne · Lyne

Over the years I heard of people being in recovery for years and I never understood it. Like, why aren't you done? Well, now I get it. It is so easy to slip back into the mess that I became accustomed to. Two weeks ago I was happy and serene. This past week I am set back a bit with unreasonable expectatio...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So I filed my taxes for the first time in several years as "married" for the filing status. My AH passed on January 9, 2013, so I was hoping I would be safe this time around to file jointly. Ummm, BIG mistake. Even though the difference in the amount of the refund between filing jointly and marr...

John · John

Sounds contradictory huh? Frustrated because my son who is in prison writes to me only to tell me how much money he needs to have his personal belongings (clothes) shipped to me from the unit so they don't end up in a donation bin. Then there is the need for stamp and envelope money, and some basic hygie...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

if youve read any of my piats you know my story. similar to many. the past few days ive found myself profoundly depressed, anxious, lonely to the core and furious. its as if all of the tools have lost their ability to work, as if detachment is a foreign word, as if let go let God is another way of giving up. i j...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Frustrated (Preview) Hey, I'm pretty new. Have had two meetings... I'm afraid I lost it tonight. I have been thinking of the art of letting go (what a relief not to feel guilty for doing things /for not doing things for not leaving /for not trying hard enough) This week I have been thinking of progress not perfection and als...	bora	6	486	Mar 15, 2014 by Chinook Daddy
	Alright so I blew up at him! (Preview) I again called exAH to let him know that my 16 year old wants to head back with him and my little one for her Spring break next week and well I could tell he was hanging. Once I realized he was probably drinking every night after work while I had our 5 year old and I just got so mad. I told him he is an idiot and that...	Breakingfree	10	485	Mar 15, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Good one, HP. (Preview) lol. I get a student allowance. And I'm extremely grateful for it. However the other day I received a phone call to tell me that my allowance had been cancelled as I had not attended an appointment. I called and was told that this was a mistake as I was a) not required to attend an appointment and b) my allow...	Melly1248	10	506	Mar 15, 2014 by maryjane
	The Up and The Down (Preview) My AH just got back from a business trip. He is being very nice and communicative. Ah yes, out of the ordinary at this point because he's been silent and derisive last week. I just needed a place to vent. I'm going to a meeting tonight, thankfully! I'm just so tired of the up and the down. One day he a...	ilovedogs	12	639	Mar 15, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Newbie (Preview) Hi all,My name is Marisa and my husband is an AH & NA. I found this website last night when my husband was drunk and raging out. I feel like Im walking on glass. I need help because my heart is heavy. I feel like I need someone to talk too thats been in my shoes or is wearing them. My husband has been drinkin...	Mari1988	5	538	Mar 15, 2014 by yanksfan51
	Going back on your boundaries (Preview) So My AH convinced me to give him a 2nd chance. He agreed to the following among other things 90 meetings in 90 days, if he were to miss a meeting he goes to two the next day. No drinking obviously. no lying. SO 1. He found some beer I had hidden and drank it. 2. lied and said that he "dumped it"...	sadsusie	8	497	Mar 15, 2014 by sadsusie
	STEP WORK BOARD (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57030894/alanon-step-2/	hotrod	0	245	Mar 15, 2014 by hotrod
	Am I Crazy? (Preview) Hi Everyone I'm in a state I don't like. No I'm not having one bit of problem with my son but I used to be able to handle most anything that comes my way but lately that has changed. Example: I lost my doctor and hospital because of the insurance company not picking up the network. I went right into panic...	Cathyinaz	11	581	Mar 15, 2014 by Jerry F
	I am not having any FUN; rain rain go away (Preview) As usual on a rainy day I am not having fun! I haven't been able to kick up my heels & jump in some rain puddles. I am struggling w/ hurry & indesion. Can't spell either. I am trying not to stress over anything. I just want to slow down & take it all in. The rain doesn't usually bother me too much bu...	Hoot Nanny	2	409	Mar 14, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Finding humor in all the craziness (Preview) AH has been out of house for 7 months now. He avoids me at all costs with reasons like "If I see you I will want you" or "It is too hard on me to see you". Had a conversation with AH the other day and I have to say instead of letting his irrational thoughts get to me, I almost had to laug...	mongowal	2	334	Mar 14, 2014 by maryjane
	How long can you live with liver disease when you continue to drink??? (Preview) This may be like asking the length of a piece of string BUT how long can someone survive with serious liver disease while continuing to drink? My mum has severe ascites, no appetite, has lost over three stone in weight, very shaky, cold, has difficulty walking, gets very confused and makes up things t...	redred	7	418	Mar 14, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Admitting - saying it aloud (Preview) Finally said it today in counseling, been weighing on me since my baby was born, just short of 6 weeks early, it's my fault she was premature. I was so stressed trying to keep it together, shield my son from the dysfunction of drunk dad, my anger at AH, and I had went away for a girl scrapbook weekend the wee...	Kerrymom	7	541	Mar 14, 2014 by el-cee
	My first Al-Anon meeting [in person] (Preview) I attended my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday in Canada. It was absolutely amazing. I was scared to attend but I left there feeling like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder. Just a post of appreciation and gratitude.	Forgiveness82	5	381	Mar 14, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	Do you mention when A does NOT drink? (Preview) Hey guys, quick question. When the A in your life chooses not to drink that day, do you bring it up in almost a "thank you for making that choice today" sort of way? Or is it better to just not mention it? Or is it better to just carry on as usual?	Akavanagh	10	496	Mar 14, 2014 by Beatrice
	Alcoholic Mum making things up... (Preview) Hello this is my first time on here. I have just returned from my Mums house. Its her Birthday. I brought cards and presents. The visit started well until she started rehashing things that happened in the past. Most of which she does not remember properly. She changes the stories and adds in load...	redred	7	462	Mar 14, 2014 by redred
	Fearing loss (Preview) Someone I have grown to care about got sick this week and landed in the hospital. It really threw me. Couldn't sleep for two nights. I have taken a good, long look at myself as a result. I am not afraid to die (I'm not wanting to die). What I really fear is loss. I fear loss so much so that for the last at l...	Lyne	3	347	Mar 14, 2014 by Forgiveness82
	to muffindog72 (Preview) thank you for the PM. i am not able to reply though as i always get an error message. i can receive the PMs though.and would love to e chat with you. if you are able, send me an email through pm and i will correspond with you via email. otherwise thank you. a kindred spirit you may be and our profession itself m...	Theoceancalls	9	517	Mar 14, 2014 by PP
	I'm in shock .. (it's a good thing) (Preview) Umm .. I don't even know where to start on this post .. I will be able to share more after today and I will try to get into my coffee shop to do so .. LOL. I had court on Monday and my atty is stating that there seems to be an urgency to end the divorce .. which is great .. however .. based upon what I know .. I may be th...	SerenityRUS	10	506	Mar 14, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	al anon in a nutshell…?? moving on new territory…need input! (Preview) hello MIP, well I'm still working my program far away from Al Anon meetings. But nevertheless I am changing my behaviors and attitudes through keeping up the work. And HP does it such ways, that here in my remote area, I also came across the issue of alcoholic disease and it's partner: co-dependence. N...	tortuga	2	440	Mar 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	Favourite Quotes.... (Preview) I stumbled across a new quote that is now among my "recovery" favorites.... "You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to." - Author Unknown.... I think that one speaks volumes, and it made me smile today. Tom p.s. My "favorites list" would now includ...	canadianguy	8	22973	Mar 13, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Oops he did it again, major consequences this time! (Preview) I have my little one for Spring break and I had to take her to the ER last night for a major bladder infection. This is the second one since he has had her, no history of this before. I called him to find out when she got off the last antibiotic and he sounded drunk and could not tell me what she was on and the las...	Breakingfree	13	645	Mar 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Planning a professional intervention for my AM.. (Preview) If ya'll could please send some prayers/good thoughts my family's way I'd appreciate it..we have decided to do a professional intervention for my AM. It's in 03/30/2014. My dad, brother, sister & I already met once with the person my brother knows...we're meeting again this weekend..and in th...	phoenixmagicgirl	3	275	Mar 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	working the program (Preview) Another realisation I have had, thanks to a member of this fellowship is that this program takes serious committment. Setting boundaries of my own and living this program. Its not enough just to know it and think it. You have got to live it . I have not been living it fully, is it possible to live it fully?...	el-cee	5	724	Mar 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	haven't been on here... (Preview) I am not new to this site; I just haven't been on here for awhile. For those who don't know me, I have been coming to our local library to get on here for years. I am unable to even though I have a tablet been able to post. Long story: I can't seem to be comfortable on the chairs. I am on my knees right now. I am frus...	Hoot Nanny	3	270	Mar 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Major life changes need encouragement (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new here. I haven't introduced myself yet. I have been going to al anon for about a year. My AH is why I started to go to meetings. I go to meetings for myself now because I have worked through the first 4 steps so I know I need to look at myself and I accept I cannot change my AH. My AH was hospita...	Newlife girl	7	478	Mar 13, 2014 by Newlife girl
	It...it's been a year?? (Preview) I was looking back through my posts (the remind me where I came from and show me my progress) and I noticed my first one was in March of last year. I kept thinking, 'That can't be right. I've only been working with Al Anon and MIP for about 4-5 months!' Nope. March 2013. I can't believe where I was, and wh...	SpiderArcana	7	388	Mar 13, 2014 by Mimi3
	Fresh Grief? Whaaaaaaa? (Preview) Hi Sweet-ones, It's been almost 2 years since I left my exA. No contact. Have been in recovery (mostly other programs than al anon, but I stop in from time to time) And lately, I have had this fresh crop of grief about it. I. MISS. HIM! What the heck? I am crying late at night and paralyzed again? I'm strugg...	CDK	4	391	Mar 13, 2014 by CDK
	Advice for 9 yo with A mom? (Preview) Hi folks, My stepson now lives with us full-time because his mom has been consumed by her alcoholism. He is 9. He isn't much for talking about his emotions...I know he misses his mom, but he also seems happy/well-adjusted and glad to be in our house with us. We have talked to him about the idea of therapy...	Tricksie	6	470	Mar 13, 2014 by el-cee
	I love my little meeting. (Preview) Remember when I didn't go to the one and only meeting in my town because there were only 2 other people and it seemed repetetive and various other excuses? Well there seem to always be at least 5 regulars now (I am becoming one of them) and a few other "blow-ins". And I love it! It doesn't feel...	Melly1248	6	497	Mar 13, 2014 by Chinook Daddy
	Learning to walk. (Preview) Hi all Just a small update. I haven't been posting a whole lot because...well, I guess I'm in "doing' mode just at the moment and I tend to get lost in words when I sit down and write. I log on daily and read everyone's ESH and love you all to pieces. But anyway, I'm finding that my "doing&qu...	Melly1248	8	479	Mar 13, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	prayers for Grateful2be and family (Preview) Hi Everyone: PLease include Grateful and family in your prayers; her Dad is very ill. She is with him and I'm sure would appreciate hugs from the MIP family. (((MIP))) Mary	yanksfan51	29	689	Mar 13, 2014 by mercedes1959
	NO I do NOT have to love every body (Preview) i guess i am the odd ball in the recovery scene.......The word "love" is used a lot in the course of recovery relating....but what IS love really??? and isn't that a choice??? Based on experience???.....and isn't it born out of another's being more of a blessing then a curse??? I mean sho...	neshema2	4	406	Mar 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	My Saving Grace.... (Preview) So Often in Life I Find myself the Martyr, I think at times Out of Habit, and others times because I'm Feeling Low or just Reaching for attention... but in looking back over Many Hard Years these last 5+yrs, I have also found some of my Saving Grace Moments... When My Parents Split I was 9 or 10, it was Bruta...	Jozie	3	350	Mar 13, 2014 by PP
	Can you ever trust someone after it has been broken? (Preview) I am very new to Al-Anon, (in fact it will be one week on Thursday) and I would appreciate your experiences as I am currently trying to work out if you can ever trust someone after it has been broken. Is this something that can be regained or is it lost forever?? Thank you for any replies in advance.This i...	southernlass	14	673	Mar 13, 2014 by southernlass
	the physical effect of alcohol (Preview) soooo. . just a random question as i dont understand withdrawl i guess, not that my ah is stopping his drinking or anything. . .but what happens to someones body who typixally drinks 3-4 times a week on the "off"days. . i mean i know i may get a slight headache if i dont hve my morning cup of coffe...	Theoceancalls	4	469	Mar 12, 2014 by Debilyn
	TAKING IT STEP BY STEP (Preview) It's been a whole four weeks since my biggest ordeal with my AH, and have learned many things thru my Al anon family and therapist. I love so much my AH but I know I cannot change him and his disease. I have learn to take care of me because I'm also human. I have many new friends on here and hope to continue my...	NavySealWife	4	316	Mar 12, 2014 by NavySealWife
	Finally starting to feel the peace from letting go (Preview) When I first started Al-anon i never thought id be able to get what everyone else seemed to have. I wanted it to happen over night! Through doing my OWN work I'm FINALLY starting to feel the peace from letting go. Trying different reactions and stopping negative thinking, im so much happier not trying t...	Akavanagh	4	492	Mar 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	It is not just the drinking, its the stinking thinking.. (Preview) I have been contemplating starting over. I dream of being alone now, with no one else to have to contend with, with no one else to feel sorry for. With no more excuses for poor behavior. I told myself that I deserve better. My AH was gone (unplanned drinking adventure) for a little over a week, took the ca...	sadsusie	3	691	Mar 12, 2014 by Theoceancalls
	I am powerless and this is painful (Preview) I don't know how my Mom managed to place a telephone call, but tonight she called me. She was crying hysterically- and when she calmed down told me that she is so unhappy where she is and wants to end her life. She is at an end stage nursing home, I am not the power of attorney, I did not put her there and I can...	bud	14	607	Mar 12, 2014 by bud
	day two with no contact from A. (Preview) I will likely post way more than I should but wanted to say that today is day 2 that I havehad no contact with A, my ex. I feel like this is the hard part as I have to face the darkness and reality head on but somehow I feel encouraged. Thank you. Never thought I would be strong enough to leave.	Forgiveness82	3	377	Mar 12, 2014 by Forgiveness82
	Pursuit of Happiness (Preview) Once a group of 500 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each person a balloon. Each person was then asked to write their name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room. The people w...	kismetstrand	4	350	Mar 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Newbie Here (Preview) Hi. I no major drama to post about, but my life is quite chaotic most of the time. I am kinda new to the Al-Anon thing, have had the chance to attend a few real meetings, but the online ones seem to be so much more convenient for me. I am married to an AH, have been for 17 years. He is still in the denial stag...	Muffindog72	9	449	Mar 12, 2014 by Courage
	Does anyone else have experience with extreme nitrous addiction? (Preview) My partner has a nitrous addiction so bad that I think you could write a case study about him. He's done about 5 boxes of 24 whippets a day for the last ten years. Some days he binges and does 15 boxes, which takes 12 hours of him sitting at a coffee table and staring at a TV set, some days he "only" d...	Elswig	4	533	Mar 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Help with daugter (Preview) Hi,I am new to this program and need some guidance, my 30 year old daughter is a drug addict who is currently on suboxone for opiate use. She began using pain pills after she fractured her back 8 years ago and had 2 failed back surgeries. She has a 3year old son who she lost custody of to his father for about 8...	lostmomma	3	365	Mar 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	never known him drinking (Preview) Hi. I'm confused and hope someone may help. I've never known my partner drink. he's been sober 6 years and I've known him for 2, but he, on occasion, is verbally aggressive, moody, etc and recently told me it's because he's not going to enough meetings. With this in mind I was thinking about maybe joinin...	me chelle	9	479	Mar 11, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Detachment: how? (Preview) Thanks for your honest posts. I am living a life full of fear at the moment because I no longer trust my husband. He is not an alcoholic. That's me. But he lived through the worst (God willing) of my active disease for 6 years before I got into recovery. Now, he has been (avoiding) dealing with his own admit...	Kate D	11	633	Mar 11, 2014 by ilovedogs
	"mess/rollercoaster"update (Preview) some day somehow this roller coaster will stop. not sure when not surehow. . .but mygoodness. .it just must. a huge thank to all of the support that has been sent my way this past week. im not in a much better spot but slowly puuling it back together. the thing that baffles me is how this ride changes and cau...	Theoceancalls	7	675	Mar 11, 2014 by ilovedogs
	time to detach... (Preview) Hi there, I'm brand-new to this board, but I've been a grateful member of Al-Anon for 19 years. I've attended meetings in both states where I've lived. Just reading a little, I already saw something great to hold onto: the acronym for DETACH ("don't even think about changing him/her")...	leafytree1	1	310	Mar 11, 2014 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Struggling this morning need some ES&H (Preview) Hello fellow alanoners, I was not able to share in the morning chat meeting because I am at work. I needed to. I am struggling again. My co worker came in this morning and started in on me. I need some program help. When I start to ask a question, she does not listen, interrupts and answers with a totally dif...	mercedes1959	10	476	Mar 11, 2014 by mercedes1959
	OK. I admit it. I am as sick as he is. (Preview) About two months ago, my A, with whom I no longer live, was helicoptered to Philadelphia for surgery. According to what he told me (I did not accompany him) he was told here locally that he might not make the 32 minute flight alive. He was asked if he wanted to be resuscitated, a question to which he answ...	Diva	7	652	Mar 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Powerless (Preview) I am new to al anon... Wish I would have found it years ago. It has already helped so much just to read this board and attend online meetings. I haven't yet been able to attend face to face meetings because of scheduling conflicts, but hope to attend in the near future. But for now, what I can do online ha...	RoseLady	10	546	Mar 10, 2014 by Newlife girl
	New & hopeless (Preview) I have just broken up with the love of my life who is an alcoholic. We have been on and off for years. His drinking gets worse. He has cheated on me several times and has destroyed my self confidence. I paid for school for him to follow his dreams. He failed and cheated with the woman for the liquor store wh...	Forgiveness82	14	550	Mar 10, 2014 by Forgiveness82
	My dad made an interesting offer to me tonight.... (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Tonight, my dad made me an offer in an effort to help me. He knows I'll be house hunting soon and offered that I could live with him while I am looking so that way I can save on a few months rent I would be paying. We had an honest talk about...	slogan_jim	10	618	Mar 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	I think my partner is an alcoholic. (Preview) I am new here. Looked around online and chose this forum on a whim I feel silly coming here and even more silly going to a physical meeting. I don't think my problems are big enough to warrant it... I am 24, wrapping up 5 years of school, a decent job, lots ahead of me, and mostly well-adjusted and for the...	DMorl	14	706	Mar 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Losses (Preview) At my meeting this week an old timer shared and it was a powerful share that really got me thinking. She used an Alanon book called 'Transforming our Losses.' She spoke of mourning and how we usually think of mourning in terms of a death but when we live with alcoholism we lose the person to alcohol and it i...	el-cee	11	611	Mar 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	just need to get my mind in a better place (Preview) Well, I thought things were "better" and relatively speaking things have been better---I have been better at dealing with my AH. But I am off track this week, worn out and just plain ANGRY. I know that red flags are being thrown at me from every direction and I am basically throwing them bac...	Theoceancalls	6	456	Mar 10, 2014 by DIAMONDGIRL
	keep coming back (Preview) Over the years I heard of people being in recovery for years and I never understood it. Like, why aren't you done? Well, now I get it. It is so easy to slip back into the mess that I became accustomed to. Two weeks ago I was happy and serene. This past week I am set back a bit with unreasonable expectatio...	Lyne	4	914	Mar 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Courage to Change serenity (Preview) So I filed my taxes for the first time in several years as "married" for the filing status. My AH passed on January 9, 2013, so I was hoping I would be safe this time around to file jointly. Ummm, BIG mistake. Even though the difference in the amount of the refund between filing jointly and marr...	Green Eyes	6	7519	Mar 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Frustrated, but okay... (Preview) Sounds contradictory huh? Frustrated because my son who is in prison writes to me only to tell me how much money he needs to have his personal belongings (clothes) shipped to me from the unit so they don't end up in a donation bin. Then there is the need for stamp and envelope money, and some basic hygie...	John	13	533	Mar 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	im just a mess (Preview) if youve read any of my piats you know my story. similar to many. the past few days ive found myself profoundly depressed, anxious, lonely to the core and furious. its as if all of the tools have lost their ability to work, as if detachment is a foreign word, as if let go let God is another way of giving up. i j...	Theoceancalls	16	556	Mar 10, 2014 by DIAMONDGIRL
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.