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"mess/rollercoaster"update
(Preview)
some day somehow this roller coaster will stop. not sure when not surehow. . .but mygoodness. .it just must. a huge thank to all of the support that has been sent my way this past week. im not in a much better spot but slowly puuling it back together. the thing that baffles me is how this ride changes and cau...
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Theoceancalls
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7
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556
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time to detach...
(Preview)
Hi there, I'm brand-new to this board, but I've been a grateful member of Al-Anon for 19 years. I've attended meetings in both states where I've lived. Just reading a little, I already saw something great to hold onto: the acronym for DETACH ("don't even think about changing him/her")...
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leafytree1
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1
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233
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Struggling this morning need some ES&H
(Preview)
Hello fellow alanoners, I was not able to share in the morning chat meeting because I am at work. I needed to. I am struggling again. My co worker came in this morning and started in on me. I need some program help. When I start to ask a question, she does not listen, interrupts and answers with a totally dif...
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mercedes1959
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10
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401
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OK. I admit it. I am as sick as he is.
(Preview)
About two months ago, my A, with whom I no longer live, was helicoptered to Philadelphia for surgery. According to what he told me (I did not accompany him) he was told here locally that he might not make the 32 minute flight alive. He was asked if he wanted to be resuscitated, a question to which he answ...
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Diva
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7
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574
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Powerless
(Preview)
I am new to al anon... Wish I would have found it years ago. It has already helped so much just to read this board and attend online meetings. I haven't yet been able to attend face to face meetings because of scheduling conflicts, but hope to attend in the near future. But for now, what I can do online ha...
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RoseLady
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10
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469
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New & hopeless
(Preview)
I have just broken up with the love of my life who is an alcoholic. We have been on and off for years. His drinking gets worse. He has cheated on me several times and has destroyed my self confidence. I paid for school for him to follow his dreams. He failed and cheated with the woman for the liquor store wh...
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Forgiveness82
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14
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475
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My dad made an interesting offer to me tonight....
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Tonight, my dad made me an offer in an effort to help me. He knows I'll be house hunting soon and offered that I could live with him while I am looking so that way I can save on a few months rent I would be paying. We had an honest talk about...
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slogan_jim
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10
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542
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I think my partner is an alcoholic.
(Preview)
I am new here. Looked around online and chose this forum on a whim I feel silly coming here and even more silly going to a physical meeting. I don't think my problems are big enough to warrant it... I am 24, wrapping up 5 years of school, a decent job, lots ahead of me, and mostly well-adjusted and for the...
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DMorl
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14
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620
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Losses
(Preview)
At my meeting this week an old timer shared and it was a powerful share that really got me thinking. She used an Alanon book called 'Transforming our Losses.' She spoke of mourning and how we usually think of mourning in terms of a death but when we live with alcoholism we lose the person to alcohol and it i...
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el-cee
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11
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534
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just need to get my mind in a better place
(Preview)
Well, I thought things were "better" and relatively speaking things have been better---I have been better at dealing with my AH. But I am off track this week, worn out and just plain ANGRY. I know that red flags are being thrown at me from every direction and I am basically throwing them bac...
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Theoceancalls
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6
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377
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keep coming back
(Preview)
Over the years I heard of people being in recovery for years and I never understood it. Like, why aren't you done? Well, now I get it. It is so easy to slip back into the mess that I became accustomed to. Two weeks ago I was happy and serene. This past week I am set back a bit with unreasonable expectatio...
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Lyne
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4
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830
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Courage to Change
(Preview)
So I filed my taxes for the first time in several years as "married" for the filing status. My AH passed on January 9, 2013, so I was hoping I would be safe this time around to file jointly. Ummm, BIG mistake. Even though the difference in the amount of the refund between filing jointly and marr...
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Green Eyes
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6
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5971
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Frustrated, but okay...
(Preview)
Sounds contradictory huh? Frustrated because my son who is in prison writes to me only to tell me how much money he needs to have his personal belongings (clothes) shipped to me from the unit so they don't end up in a donation bin. Then there is the need for stamp and envelope money, and some basic hygie...
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John
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13
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456
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im just a mess
(Preview)
if youve read any of my piats you know my story. similar to many. the past few days ive found myself profoundly depressed, anxious, lonely to the core and furious. its as if all of the tools have lost their ability to work, as if detachment is a foreign word, as if let go let God is another way of giving up. i j...
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Theoceancalls
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16
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465
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Relationship boundaries (with his former mistress) after an affair.
(Preview)
I've been involved with Al-Anon for less than a year, I realize I still have much to learn and sometimes find it difficult speaking up or reaching out about sensitive matters such as this so I'm asking for your suggestions or shared experiences so I can hopefully gain some inspiration and insight on th...
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55Fairlane
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9
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6311
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Welcome Family
(Preview)
Hello, and welcome to MIP - if you are new here, we are glad to see you reaching out for help for yourself. There are many resources here at Miracles In Progress. It is an amazing website. The founder and webmaster of MIP, an amazing example of working several 12 step 'programs' is remarkable. Durin...
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Tasha
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2
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306
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So greatful that I don't ignore my red flags anymore.....
(Preview)
So I have had a guy friend for over 13 years and he has wanted to date me when we were both single. I have kept him at bay, because he is a good friend and I have never wanted to ruin what we have. I met him while I was with my exAH and we worked together, nothing romantic ever entered either of our minds back then...
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Breakingfree
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6
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541
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Feeling sick and wanted to check in
(Preview)
I woke up feeling sick but pushed myself to go to work then ended up leaving and have been home all day. Recovering abf came and got me, made me comfortable with blankets and then food when I woke up 3-4 hours later. It's stress that did me in. I am still inching my way out of that workplace. I've been app...
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tiredtonite
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7
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457
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There are no justifiable resentments in this room ..
(Preview)
and OMGOSH did that just tick me off .. LOL!! I'm working a 4th step on resentments (DUH!) and working with an RA friend of mine who has a lot of years. We had a discussion about it at meeting on Saturday. I just can't swallow the dang Blue Print for Progress .. it is not simple and for a simple program it's...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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363
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Over-extending myself.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I am having a bit of a pity party, feeling like I am not good enough. Feeling like 'if only my parents had been different, my life would be different'..... it's all prompted by the notion that I see many younger or at the same age that a...
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slogan_jim
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11
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564
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the rollercoaster
(Preview)
good morning, so what is this roller coaster in on all of the time. . oh, it life wirh an alcohilic. last week i was ready to scream from the roof tops " im done". . for two weeks he has been out more than in, drunk more than sober. . this morning i wake up . . hes not home. .granted i was given heads up t...
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Theoceancalls
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4
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379
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No AA=No morals?
(Preview)
I've noticed that when my A quits going to his AA meetings his morals seem to disappear as well. He stops going to AA and he starts cheating. It isn't that he is necessarily drunk when he cheats, he just isn't going to AA meetings. Am I the only one that this has happened to? Has a...
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ashraven
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8
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534
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Frozen Out
(Preview)
I'm so tired of feeling sad. I'm tired of being lonely. I tired of apologizing for my words being twisted into something other then I said. I'm tired of tiptoeing around my house and being told I make him walk on eggshells. I'm tired of begging for affection and watching my self respect disappear. I'm th...
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Nightingale
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12
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535
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First thing First ..
(Preview)
There is so much to tell and really can't tell to much yet .. LOL .. sorry for the tease I'm just very excited and I think that God has a way of working things out and that is ok. I got to visit with a girlfriend of mine who I have known since I was 5 and haven't seen for 30 years OMGOSH what a blast we had last night...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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398
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Struggling & Confused
(Preview)
My boyfriend is an alcoholic. I guess deep down, if Im being completely honest, I have known for quite a while. Finding bottles of liquor behind the garbage in the bathroom, or in a suitcase in the storage closet, isnt normal. Why didnt I ever address it with him? All the signs were there, and I never said...
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sunshine28
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3
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5451
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protecting and becoming wary
(Preview)
My husband and I have an adult son who attends AA. he has gone for some time off and on. I cannot say to what degree he is honestly involved in the program. recently we agreed to let him return to our business on a part-time basis. Since that time someone has come to us and said he has been seen driving in ar...
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montego
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9
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388
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Why do I feel guilty?
(Preview)
Hi everyone I do not know if I am at the right place but I desperately need to talk to someone who will not judge or criticize me. I have search far and wide and eventually found you. I am married to a man who has been drinking non-stop for the last two to three years. He says that it is his "coping" m...
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Nankiepooh
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21
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772
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He says he wants this darkness toe end
(Preview)
Jack says he wants to stop. I don't know if I must happy or sad, laugh histerically! He already did not drink a whole lot yesterday and got some withdrawel symptoms. I told him not stop so abrubtly and that he must lessen it up until the last drop is gone. Did I do the right thing? And how can I help to ease this...
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Nankiepooh
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8
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506
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Higher power...
(Preview)
Hi all, just wanting to know what kinds of things you say to your sponsees or friends or what your sponsorshave said to you if you felt higher power did not exist. My hus. Going to AA meetings now but refusing to believe in god. It just comes so naturally for me to believe in a higher power... i know we are n...
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Tan
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5
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271
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The person I had forgotten
(Preview)
Is it strange to feel puzzled that someone thinks I'm funny, intelligent and beautiful? The person I am when not in the grips of the disease. The person I have been missing without realizing she was gone. I have had glimpses of her a little more and more each day that I am able to focus on recovery. There we...
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Mari1978
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5
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323
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Reading
(Preview)
I've had my phone off but turn it on today. Yes my son continues to call but doesn't leave a message or text or email. I don't know what is going on but I don't want to know. I'm reading posts and the despair and hurt I read makes me feel so sad for others but it reinforces my conviction to let go and let God...
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Cathyinaz
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10
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469
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He stopped drinking
(Preview)
Hello, first of all I want to thank everyone for their support over the last three weeks. You have helped me maintain my sanity and understand what was going on. On Monday my boyfriend stopped drinking. I went to his house to see for myself and sure enough he was only drinking ginger ale to help his stomac...
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Snowflake74
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7
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397
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Baby due in two weeks husband on bender
(Preview)
I am new to al anon. In the past three years husband has relapsed 3 times. Most recent relapse feb. 11, 2014. We a two year old and another due in two months. When husband drinks he hides and disappears for weeks. This time he has come home and I have moved out because he is still drinking. My family is furiou...
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Stay strong
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5
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585
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Putting it in writing
(Preview)
First want to express how grateful I am for this site it has helped so much to read others experiences and see the progression and hear hope, hope for change, hope for happiness. The last two weeks at f2f meetings it's only been me and the leader, she is wonderful and I left feeling peaceful and calm each t...
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Kerrymom
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4
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371
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The Next Right Thing . . . Divorce?
(Preview)
Well, he flat out refused my request to refinance the house in his name only because "he doesn't want to". This was the boundary that I set a few weeks ago. I believe he thought he could stall me (he did for a few weeks) and I would back down and let it go but I contacted a lawyer yesterday. I'm wait...
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wornoutmrsfixit
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9
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571
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AH graduating rehab and into 1/2 way??
(Preview)
The rehab where my AH is at.... has suggested he go into a 1/2 way sober living house. Does anyone have experience with this system? I have told my AH that I will not allow him to live back with the family because he relapsed so quickly after his last attempt at recovery (3 days after rehab release). H...
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jillybean1
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3
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564
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What just happened?
(Preview)
How does almost everything I say get twisted around, thrown back at me, and make me feel like crap. there's a reason and justification for everything. I can tell myself it's the disease but it doesn't make me feel any better after being yelled at for over an hour. Heard for first time that it was me not gi...
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Kerrymom
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13
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487
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One Day at a Time in Al-Anon
(Preview)
I love reading One Day at a Time, Courage to Change and Hope for Today. On February 27th One Day at Time had a great reminder: Today's Reminder Trying to analyze why another person persists in destructive behaviors cannot help me out of my own difficulties. I can overcome them only by turning my thoug...
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Jen61
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6
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394
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Couldn't have said it better myself.
(Preview)
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SpiderArcana
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5
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273
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shortcomings
(Preview)
Alanon has given me awareness of my shortcomings and the tools to remove them, im grateful for that. At least im no longer misersble, blaming it all on the alcoholic and justifying my bad behaviour. Im just feeling the badness creep in, I cant really bear people at the moment. My friends are really anno...
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el-cee
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11
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778
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Ready to move on with my life...
(Preview)
I am at a point now where I think I am ready to move on with my life. I left my Alcoholic husband in July (8 months ago). I was on the brink of a breakdown from the alcoholism and verbally abusive behavior. He eventually went to rehab. It did not last long, but I had come home in the meantime. I got myself into r...
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sadsusie
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7
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563
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Worry vs. Prayer
(Preview)
I heard an interesting concept this weekend: Worry is essentially the opposite of prayer. It's a lack of faith in our HP. It is thinking that our own obsessions are a bigger priority for our time than our time spent with our HP. The more time we allow for worrying, the less time we are allowing for prayer a...
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Green Eyes
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10
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4266
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This Moment
(Preview)
This MomentWe all suffer, every day: worry, procrastination, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, irritated, angry, frustrated, wishing things were different, comparing ourselves to others, worried we’re missing out, wishing other people would be different, feeling offended, loneliness, fear...
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John
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7
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250
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my favorite Dr. Suess
(Preview)
I forgot to post yesterday for Dr. Suess' birthday but I saw this in the newspaper and thought it was proper to post here..... You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. (Dr. Suess) Have a lovely night everyone!! Jilly
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jillybean1
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7
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289
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Following my gut...
(Preview)
As much as I have had moments, in my head and heart, to break the No contact with my A son..... I followed my gut.... thought things thru..... and realized what I was missing I have not seen or been around in many years.... my sober son..... the disease has him masked and caped as a hurtful and hurting perso...
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ladee
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4
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319
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Conference Approved Literature
(Preview)
Our literature is really recovery treasure; a gift from HP and those who came before us. The difference between just waking up and "coming to" after reading our literature is awesome. If you haven't gotten into March 5th already...take the time, quiet slow time to read and absorb cau...
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Jerry F
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6
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517
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sucked back in
(Preview)
Hi, and yes, I got sucked back in to stinkin thinkin and didn't even realize it. It happened in such a subtle way. My A did several things that were so nice, like driving me to work in bad weather. I started feeling guilty. I'm detached and wanted to feel somethings I can't. So I tried to get my A to make...
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Lyne
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8
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391
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husband's drinking affecting family life
(Preview)
My husband is an alcoholic. He knows it and admits it; I know it and his entire family know it too. It's the elephant in the room, nobody is willing to say it out loud. He himself admits it frequently, but that doesn't encourage him to do anything about it. It's as if by admitting the problem, he has identif...
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grainne
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6
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569
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Mourning the loss
(Preview)
Right now I am in the midst of mourning the loss of the relationship I wanted to have with my adult daughter. Alcohol seems to have replaced everything that used to have meaning for her....although occasionally a part of who she used to be will re surface and I will get my hopes up.....only to have Alcoho...
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lgnutah
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7
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537
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Owning Up
(Preview)
Alanon has given me much relief, but I do realize that my hesitations with the program, have been because of my fear with all the work I need to do. I take my own personal insecurities out on him. This has not been AT all healthy as he has been trying to get sober. It's been an on off battle, but he is fighting h...
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astallaslions
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13
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514
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New Here but not new to Alanon
(Preview)
I am feeling so awful today about something I did. I am new here but not new to Alanon I have been to meetings many times and have worked a program for years but this situation for me seems to be tougher than my own was. I have a brother younger that is married to an Alcoholic and it breaks my heart. He isn't rea...
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jacob53
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7
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241
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Struggling today ..
(Preview)
I just need some extra prayers today from my MIP family .. I think I'm definitely HHALT'ing. The hormones are in deep and it's not always easy to deal with that to say the least. This was a hard weekend and there were some high points .. just disappointed that the STBAX is being an alcoholic or at least a...
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SerenityRUS
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13
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473
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Confused feelings
(Preview)
My ex-partner and I split up in a terrible way about 3 weeks ago. He's an alcoholic who stopped drinking in January, went to the AA and met a woman there a week later with whom he cheated on me. I packed his stuff and had him leave our apartment. After that he started to drink again. He was agressive and verba...
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CKCS
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12
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517
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Went to my first meeting today
(Preview)
Hi I went to my first meeting today and it was very helpful. I finally cried about this mess and it felt good. The group I met with were so warm and welcoming. We talked about realizing we are powerless over this disease. I know I can't do anything about it, it just felt good to say that to people face to face....
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Snowflake74
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8
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381
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He died but he didn't
(Preview)
My early Al-Anon sponsor Don T, I was told passed away several years ago last month. I believe that because it was my first sponsor who told me that and she brokered me off to him. (I didn't do my lessons good...just like school so she fired me and brought me to him). Only one of the things he taught me wh...
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Jerry F
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11
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404
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Removing the "In" & Gaining My "Sanity"...
(Preview)
Before I Go into My Rant... I Just want to THANK All that Prayed for My Aunt, She is Doing Well, and We wont know untill her appt in 2wks if Chemo or Radiation are necessary...So Thank you all that Said a Prayer for her Surgery yest., she is doing Great & I'm Most Grateful indeed :) NOW...lol...Do ya Eve...
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Jozie
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5
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429
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what do you suggest when adult child takes her whole script
(Preview)
My daughter is 24 and is addicted to addrell. Has been for a couple of years. Gives her the opposite effect and is very ineffective; doesn't work and can't hold a job if she doesn't have her pillls. She is very dependant on me for everything. I became sick over the last couple of weeks (like hospitali...
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dibsylou
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13
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490
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Rain
(Preview)
Good Morning All We finally have rain. Been up since 2am just listening to the rain and loving it. The power has been going off and on with the lighting outside. I'm going to try and get a little more sleep but I'm grateful for the welcoming rain. Have a peaceful Saturday ((( hugs )))
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Cathyinaz
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5
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206
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New to Al-Anon...To drink or Not?
(Preview)
Hello Im new to this site and new to the whole Al Anon process. I came across this site Friday night after I caught my husband for the 100th time hiding alcohol (Its been about 2 years that he's had a problem). I was desperate and hopeless and went online to search for answers and came across this site which...
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LucyLynn
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11
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808
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Please don't come
(Preview)
My son has been calling me but I haven't answered. He isn't leaving any messages or texting me so I don't know whats up. I can only pray he is OK but he doesn't show up here because I can't have him. I don't like it when we tries and calls me. I don't want to hear from him at all right now. I like my peace and want...
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Cathyinaz
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13
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458
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