Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been in a funk for quite a few days. Part of me thinks that I am failing because I am comfortable here in this funk. Today, I had a change of heart. I feel like I need to be alone (luckily i am lol). I looked on Pinterest for some inspirational thoughts and found many. I finally semi forced myself to tidy...

Problems with fellow member · Zeroh

I've been attending Alanon meetings for nearly three years now; spent several years in CoDA before that - which helped enormously, but then for various reasons I realised that Alanon was where I needed to be. I have no problem with the notion of a HP, and revived my own spiritual faith about 10 years ago...

Jerry F · Jerry F

for this. Reading this morning from out literature to calm my spirit and then my mind and emotions and then my body follows with relaxation. I can continue my day now in a more balanced rhythm and pace. This is what Thomas told me. "Why are thou troubled because things do not succeed with th...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I always find that sharing with you all helps me to clarify my thoughts and I always feel better afterwards. My mind is reeling again. I had moved to my own place, have found a happy life for myself, its only been a few months. I still love my AH, very much. He has asked me to come see him, and I did. It was good....

New Member · stepsinthesand

Hello all, I am happy to find the Alanon Family Groups boards, thanks to a friend of mine who is goes to the narcanon forums. I wanted to introduce myself and look forward to joining your community. I am retired and have been married for 23 years. I have two step kids who are both grown and (also have...

Holding on · Holding on

I know what i did was right but having a rough time. Why is it that i feel like i did something wrong? And why do i keep thinking he will get better? Its insane i know. He makes me think i am crazy. i feel like i have lost myself. Do they even realize the part they played in destroying the relationship? So confu...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm grateful 1st and foremost for a loveing Heavenly Father that's blessed me with 2 beautiful kids that are both successful in life,I'm also grateful for this board that I can always come here to vent or tell whatever's on my mind this board is like a diary to me I've aired everything I can think of,I'm g...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Hi everyone. I know i keep playing the same sad song, but it helps me to verbalize my pain I am in. I continue to sit back in amazement really. My AH continues to sit in our house and not pay the mortgage. I have to pay rent so I cant pay the mortgage either. He says he will get a job. He hasnt worked in 8 months. I a...

lookingup · lookingup

I've been reading every bodies posts on here and seems to lean mostly toward the a and relationship issues today,I'm currently Still with my abf as most knows,I'm so waiting on my FTf meetings which I get to begin next mon.i so need my meetings and to find me a sponsor to help me with my step work ever si...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi all aplologies that this post is not strictly al annon related, but with an AH at home, don't know who else to share with. AH been much better lately, has some control of his drinking (tho I am aware that probably won't last) & we have been enjoying each others company & I've been working my pro...

Diva · Diva

Thank you both for posts to me, both of which were inspired, hit the mark exactly, and gave me reason to reassess. Not only these two, I appreciate ALL your replies. Thank you thank you all for understanding, patience, and love. Diva

Debilyn · Debilyn

Went to lunch with my two wonderful dingy long time friends. Then the said ok we are going to see if R is still alive. Found the apt. not home, but this wonderful gal neighbor was only too happy to fill us in. Sadly the older lady he lived with died. So he has been alone there since last october. He must have go...

Diva · Diva

I brought him a meal when I went out to lunch as I do every day. I could smell it the moment I entered his apartment. Diarrhea all over the carpets, and a mostly finished large bottle of Listerine mouth wash. Why do I torture myself that way? Now I feel just a bit guilty because I have no intention of call...

grateful2be · grateful2be

As my Dad's 86th birthday approaches, I remember him as a man in his 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s. I remember that his father who died at 46, left my grandmother to raise 5 kids during the depression while he lived with his mother and impregnated another woman and took care only of their son. They we...

shosh18 · shosh18

Tonight there has been an epic explosion. My A went onto facebook to show me something and somehow he or I clicked on a profile of someone else who he became paranoid could see him which is ridiculous, it was just a suggested friend. Well he got up crazily and said he could not trust me, then pack a bag and le...

Jerry F · Jerry F

is named Liam...some of you ladies love that name I've seen and this one is just two hour old right now...2800 miles away and still in our hearts as we have been waiting. He is our 5th great grand-child!! and I've already put in my request that he escape this family disease. Asking for pictures caus...

texasgal · texasgal

I agreed to a date this past Saturday night. I was skeptical abt the whole thing but I went for the experience. We had a good time and I laughed a lot. We have been texting everyday and he makes me laugh so much. I never laughed with my ex...never. I was always in a horrible mood. My worst characteristics cam...

Diva · Diva

and having been air lifted to Philadelphia in order to survive last time, I found him drinking listerine mouth wash. It is a pitiful situation, and, of course it's all my fault, even though he was a drinker long, long before I met him. I didn't know this; and had I known, I'd have run fast in the opposite...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

will not let me log in. I thought I had registered for that board a few days ago, but when I try to log in it won't let me. Well, then I tried to reset my password for that board, and it let me do that, but still will not let me log in. Well, I thought maybe I hadn't registered for that board, so I tried to registere...

el-cee · el-cee

I believe that we are just as sick as the alcoholic when we have or still live with alcoholism. Many of the symptoms are the same and if thats true then im burling drunk right now, or the equivelent. Ive gotten complacent I think. Ive lost touch with my sponsor, my hp, ive not picked up the phone in a while an...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

the STBAX would go away. We had another awful interchange actually I was out of it .. this was between him and our daughter. That kid is so her mother's daughter and he brought it on himself. She did REALLY well considering. Now he's managed to alienate the kids completely and they don't want to go on...

joker · joker

My abf is back in town again. He works in camp as an electrician. He works 2 weeks in and one week out. I have known him 4 months now and had moved some of my belongs into his house and I have left the remainder of my belongs in my apartment that I have not given up. To make a long story short, he has gone through 3 j...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

My papers were served, he had 3 weeks to respond and did, even though he doesn't want to divorce. He did get his slip after a year of sobriety stopped and is back on track and for that I'm happy but it was enough to make my decision that I was done putting my life on hold and playing a waiting game. I have been on...

deramam · deramam

Today me and my AH got into a heated argument. Like usual the first thing I did was tell him to go to his "friends" (people he drinks/uses with). Then I proceeded to tell him that I throw the stuff he's done in his face because it's what he always does. He is a binge drinker and is currently sober a...

hotrod · hotrod

Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery togetherhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58427338/alanon-step-2/

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I have made the decision to file for divorce from my AH. It has been a very long journey to this point, but I know it is time. My dilemma lies in the execution. We have been together for 22 years and married for 15. We have been separated for the past 7 months and due to the fact that I was SAHM, I have remain...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi everyone! Hope all is well...I went to my AH's rehab center Saturday for the annual renewal day and had a nice time. Good to see my friends from my initial introduction to group family therapy a year ago! So my family counselor from there always says I have resentments over the 1/2 way house. So, I gave...

Luiza · Luiza

So following the drama a couple of days ago, H had one drink yesterday and one today so far. People are drinking less too and not offering to get him any drinks - a part from his dad who tried twice. Anyway, he was bit by a small insect today and OMG, he is in so much pain you know? He actually told his mum he i...

Lovebear · Lovebear

My way trough he double hockey stick began somewhere in February last. My husband and me are living abroad. We are expats, and we have been married for almost 20 years. My husband started experiencing problems with allocutions all of a sudden one day in February. He was offered advancement at his...

deramam · deramam

My AH's sister is one who parties all the time and smokes weed all the time but thinks she's a responsible mature adult. She tries to play the victim every chance she gets. My H and her mother died last yr and the estate lawyer has mailed emailed and called her to finish the estate and she has ignored him. Sh...

Flossy · Flossy

So over the past few weeks I have kept away from my A as in I haven't seen him, but we have message'd from time to time. Usually with him messaging me things about how he has a new sponsor or how he's going to meetings on a daily basis and how he has counselling sessions arranged. To all of them I simply reply sa...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have my biopsy on Wednesday and my sponsor comes back tomorrow from his 2 week vacation. I have been using my tools, but I am so wide open right now. My cars new transmission is over $2000, my broken right arm has been hurting worse with my new job, because I'm over using it, but I love the job! I have been w...

nichtdaisy · nichtdaisy

I've written a couple of tortured posts here. Part 1: Part 2: and I thank everyone for their loving, keepin'-it-real advice. A week ago, shortly after my second post, I had a good talk with my ABF and told him how I was increasingly obsessing over him doing the "right thing", and it was maki...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So I think I did something dumb. I changed my last name on FB back to my maiden name. I was pissed when I did it...I admit it. I just wanted to really detach from AH. Now I am regretting what I did. I thought people would just figure out why I did it without actually asking me about it. No such luck. Coworkers an...

Mitsy · Mitsy

I've been involved with Al-Anon for about 5-6 years now. I haven't been with my alcoholic ex-boyfriend in about 4+ years now. However, I'm a true co-dependent & realize that I fit the description of co-dependent in so many ways. I feel the need to fix things I cannot fix. Some days are better th...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I don't know about you, but there was a time in recovery when although my gut instinct told me somebody was lying or manipulating or telling half truths, I'd ignore that and try to "help" or "support" them. I wasted a whole lot of time and energy doing that and I wound up not being...

Tampa · Tampa

I know not to have any expectations on my ABF and especially when it comes to his drinking. It is really strange though and it might take an alcoholic to answer this but, he goes through these weird phases as of late. He will actually withdrawal (stay sober for 4 days) and when he's in the clear of the bad wi...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

It's a high possibility my house will be foreclosed within a few months. Long story. Basically my AH lives in the house. I moved out in March. I couldn't afford the mortgage anyway because he lost his job in March. I moved out mostly due to his drinking. He has fallen almost 3 months behind on payments. He...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I celebrated fourteen years in the Alanon program tonight with my sponsor. She said, "I remembered!" She's so hard on herself lol. I think she forgot my anniversary only a few times in nine years. This time, I forgot and when she got out of her chair before the meeting began, I told her she...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This isn't going to have an amusing ending but just for right now it's making me giggle. ABF has become upset by me sticking to my boundaries and maintaining that "we don't have to break up but we are moving into separate places until we have both gotten our lives sorted out" (this to me seems a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

That realisation really freaked me out. I haven't been alone in a place overnight for more than 10 years. I left half of the house illuminated, slept with the dog next to me and stuff piled in front of my door....lol, not the bravest girl in the world, me! ABF's exit became less funny after night fell and n...

need help · need help

Hi 2 every1!! I'm so sorry if I am taking away from some1 else's dicussion,really I am!!!! Just wondering if some1 can help? I'm moving away from my husband of 7yrs married & 11yrs 2gether. I've never loved so much until I met him,really! Since I'm lving,any1 mayquestion that??!!! I get it though...

Debilyn · Debilyn

sharing here and on my fb to get this out. son is off somewhere. Yesterday I found my healthy very loved oldest animal of my family had died. He fell off the deck, only a foot but could not get up. that morn I had been very sick the night before. end of month ate something wrong I guess. so I was up all night then...

Yazzymedo86 · Yazzymedo86

Hello all, I am new to the I group, my husband has been in recovery for 3 1/2 months. I am so proud of him and I try to be as supportive as I can be. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am always I worrying that something will go wrong. If things are okay, I create problems in my head. I worry that he will re...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, I am still working really hard to abstain from contacting my Active \abf after he slipped 3 weeks ago and have been doing really well. I can not engage with this disease like I did in the past I became really ill and nearly went down with him last time I have to love and protect myself. So I have been go...

jillian · jillian

Ok. My Husband Took The First step And admitted he Was powerless Over Alcohol. Today is His Day One sober. My Question Is. Is It Normal For Someone Trying To Quit Drinking To Detach From Their partner And Not say I Love You Back Or feel Annoyed By Them? I Dont Know what to Do Or How To Support him Im lost Plea...

jigen · jigen

I'm having a really rough time right now. My mother is an alcoholic, and trust me, we've all tried to stop her from being one but there's really only so much you can do. I'm also finding it hard to find people to talk to at the moment, which is why I went and found this board. My Mom was first hospitalized in 20...

cheekymonkee · cheekymonkee

does neone know of a Hamilton area discussion group for alanon members? im currently attending alanon meetings, but am looking for something a little more geared to where im at and more open discussion based.....not ur traditional alanon\aa meetings. just wondering if theres something like thi...

jm · jm

Hi all. I have been on mip boards since nearly 4years ago. Was a big poster on acoa and even hosted a meeting for a while then my partner found out and didnt like it...huge rows so I stopped. Ironically he is now on the acoa boards! I am a recovered alcoholic 12years. He on the other hand slipped continuou...

dyinalileachday · dyinalileachday

after drinking daily for god knows how many years now, he can't not drink. he gets the shakes, even after 4-6 hourd of no alcohol. detoxing days lead us to great binges, where all kinds of bad go on. i am drained. done. he's sucking the life out of me, i can feel it. i have already lost a sister to alcohol ind...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I have come to terms with everything. I've done my work, continue to do my work, live my life. Enjoy myself when times are good, and work to change and grow when times are bad. One thing I never expected was how lonely all of this was. While I greatly value AlAnon and it's support, and I have my own friend...

BlueBequia · BlueBequia

Yes, I'm a newcomer to the online chatroom. I started attending regular meetings the end of May and except for a few out of town occasions I've been going every week. Since separating from my husband two weeks ago I am in a new area and finding my way. I feel pretty good and AlAnon has really helped me a gre...

Jen61 · Jen61

When we try to control, we become controlled; When we release, we become free. Bryant McGill This was sent to me through Facebook and it really rings true. I have attached the photo, but I am not sure if it will all come through. After reading this a few things I felt like such a relief leaving my should...

swimmom · swimmom

My daughter's therapist suggested I try to find some type of on-line support for my pre-teen daughter whose father (my ex) is an A. Can anyone on this forum give me some suggestions of what that might look like? Links, etc to explore? She doesn't want the "face to face" of meetings but I be...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Is anyone on our board from San Francisco or have family members or friends there? There appears to be some really scary stuff going on according to my internet update. Lots of prayers and positive thoughts being sent their way.

Aloha · Aloha

At a meeting last night we read from As We Understood (it's an 11th step meeting so the group reads from that gem every week). The passage had a wonderful analogy of a tight-rope walker asking his audience if they had faith if he could make it across - they cheered him on and then he came up with a wheelbarro...

Kay10 · Kay10

I met him, felt an immediate connection (turns out he's very much like my father) and married him after a few short months. Didn't take long to see that alcohol was a problem, and I tried to reason with him about controlling himself. That turned into lies and fights and loss of trust (as newlyweds). A fe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

That question just screamed itself at me while being here and reading and participating in all of your other lives. Why haven't I mentioned it here and not often on the outside either. Why is it that my wife did a broadcast and I didn't. Why don't I celebrate good stuff and just take them for gran...

fedup75 · fedup75

Hi there....I am new to this site and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married for 11 years now and he has got worse and worse. His recent trip to hospital for nearly a month ended with him buying a bottle of Gin on the way home! He has told me that he ha...

1lostmom · 1lostmom

Yesterday, I attended The. Most. Awkward baby shower ever, and came home to find my husband drunk. I said nothing. He still attempted to find a way to be angry at me and blame me for this failing disaster of a marriage, and proceeded to storm off to bed at 8pm. Normally, I would be dumping bottles, or ru...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Being in a funk, letting myself stay in a funk, realizing that i was SUPPOSED to be in a funk. codependency what I think is none of (Preview) I have been in a funk for quite a few days. Part of me thinks that I am failing because I am comfortable here in this funk. Today, I had a change of heart. I feel like I need to be alone (luckily i am lol). I looked on Pinterest for some inspirational thoughts and found many. I finally semi forced myself to tidy...	sadsusie	5	8580	Sep 1, 2014 by grateful2be
	Problems with fellow member (Preview) I've been attending Alanon meetings for nearly three years now; spent several years in CoDA before that - which helped enormously, but then for various reasons I realised that Alanon was where I needed to be. I have no problem with the notion of a HP, and revived my own spiritual faith about 10 years ago...	Zeroh	7	644	Sep 1, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Mahalo Thomas A`Kempis (Preview) for this. Reading this morning from out literature to calm my spirit and then my mind and emotions and then my body follows with relaxation. I can continue my day now in a more balanced rhythm and pace. This is what Thomas told me. "Why are thou troubled because things do not succeed with th...	Jerry F	16	926	Sep 1, 2014 by hotrod
	Gotta work a program! (Preview) I always find that sharing with you all helps me to clarify my thoughts and I always feel better afterwards. My mind is reeling again. I had moved to my own place, have found a happy life for myself, its only been a few months. I still love my AH, very much. He has asked me to come see him, and I did. It was good....	sadsusie	8	553	Aug 31, 2014 by grateful2be
	New Member (Preview) Hello all, I am happy to find the Alanon Family Groups boards, thanks to a friend of mine who is goes to the narcanon forums. I wanted to introduce myself and look forward to joining your community. I am retired and have been married for 23 years. I have two step kids who are both grown and (also have...	stepsinthesand	8	571	Aug 31, 2014 by grateful2be
	Heartbreaking left my alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) I know what i did was right but having a rough time. Why is it that i feel like i did something wrong? And why do i keep thinking he will get better? Its insane i know. He makes me think i am crazy. i feel like i have lost myself. Do they even realize the part they played in destroying the relationship? So confu...	Holding on	31	4290	Aug 31, 2014 by hotrod
	Things I'm grateful for (Preview) I'm grateful 1st and foremost for a loveing Heavenly Father that's blessed me with 2 beautiful kids that are both successful in life,I'm also grateful for this board that I can always come here to vent or tell whatever's on my mind this board is like a diary to me I've aired everything I can think of,I'm g...	lookingup	9	631	Aug 31, 2014 by cloudyskies
	All talk no action (Preview) Hi everyone. I know i keep playing the same sad song, but it helps me to verbalize my pain I am in. I continue to sit back in amazement really. My AH continues to sit in our house and not pay the mortgage. I have to pay rent so I cant pay the mortgage either. He says he will get a job. He hasnt worked in 8 months. I a...	Newlife girl	3	565	Aug 31, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Feeling like I am crazy (Preview) I've been reading every bodies posts on here and seems to lean mostly toward the a and relationship issues today,I'm currently Still with my abf as most knows,I'm so waiting on my FTf meetings which I get to begin next mon.i so need my meetings and to find me a sponsor to help me with my step work ever si...	lookingup	6	405	Aug 30, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Riding the emotional roller coaster (Preview) Hi all aplologies that this post is not strictly al annon related, but with an AH at home, don't know who else to share with. AH been much better lately, has some control of his drinking (tho I am aware that probably won't last) & we have been enjoying each others company & I've been working my pro...	Tash2	4	519	Aug 30, 2014 by hotrod
	PP and Tired tonight... (Preview) Thank you both for posts to me, both of which were inspired, hit the mark exactly, and gave me reason to reassess. Not only these two, I appreciate ALL your replies. Thank you thank you all for understanding, patience, and love. Diva	Diva	2	325	Aug 30, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Went to check on ex AH (Preview) Went to lunch with my two wonderful dingy long time friends. Then the said ok we are going to see if R is still alive. Found the apt. not home, but this wonderful gal neighbor was only too happy to fill us in. Sadly the older lady he lived with died. So he has been alone there since last october. He must have go...	Debilyn	11	702	Aug 30, 2014 by hotrod
	Thought I'd be nice, so…. (Preview) I brought him a meal when I went out to lunch as I do every day. I could smell it the moment I entered his apartment. Diarrhea all over the carpets, and a mostly finished large bottle of Listerine mouth wash. Why do I torture myself that way? Now I feel just a bit guilty because I have no intention of call...	Diva	8	596	Aug 30, 2014 by blessed
	In tribute to my father - Product of a strong mother and an alcoholic father (Preview) As my Dad's 86th birthday approaches, I remember him as a man in his 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s. I remember that his father who died at 46, left my grandmother to raise 5 kids during the depression while he lived with his mother and impregnated another woman and took care only of their son. They we...	grateful2be	21	722	Aug 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	Explosion of monumental proportions (Preview) Tonight there has been an epic explosion. My A went onto facebook to show me something and somehow he or I clicked on a profile of someone else who he became paranoid could see him which is ridiculous, it was just a suggested friend. Well he got up crazily and said he could not trust me, then pack a bag and le...	shosh18	20	680	Aug 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	Number 5 (Preview) is named Liam...some of you ladies love that name I've seen and this one is just two hour old right now...2800 miles away and still in our hearts as we have been waiting. He is our 5th great grand-child!! and I've already put in my request that he escape this family disease. Asking for pictures caus...	Jerry F	18	625	Aug 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	New frontier (Preview) I agreed to a date this past Saturday night. I was skeptical abt the whole thing but I went for the experience. We had a good time and I laughed a lot. We have been texting everyday and he makes me laugh so much. I never laughed with my ex...never. I was always in a horrible mood. My worst characteristics cam...	texasgal	5	393	Aug 28, 2014 by andromeda
	After being near death twice lately from alcohol poisoning... (Preview) and having been air lifted to Philadelphia in order to survive last time, I found him drinking listerine mouth wash. It is a pitiful situation, and, of course it's all my fault, even though he was a drinker long, long before I met him. I didn't know this; and had I known, I'd have run fast in the opposite...	Diva	6	605	Aug 28, 2014 by hotrod
	The Step Work Board (Preview) will not let me log in. I thought I had registered for that board a few days ago, but when I try to log in it won't let me. Well, then I tried to reset my password for that board, and it let me do that, but still will not let me log in. Well, I thought maybe I hadn't registered for that board, so I tried to registere...	cloudyskies	5	349	Aug 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	complacency (Preview) I believe that we are just as sick as the alcoholic when we have or still live with alcoholism. Many of the symptoms are the same and if thats true then im burling drunk right now, or the equivelent. Ive gotten complacent I think. Ive lost touch with my sponsor, my hp, ive not picked up the phone in a while an...	el-cee	18	997	Aug 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	I just wish .. (Preview) the STBAX would go away. We had another awful interchange actually I was out of it .. this was between him and our daughter. That kid is so her mother's daughter and he brought it on himself. She did REALLY well considering. Now he's managed to alienate the kids completely and they don't want to go on...	SerenityRUS	5	477	Aug 28, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Making progress slowly (Preview) My abf is back in town again. He works in camp as an electrician. He works 2 weeks in and one week out. I have known him 4 months now and had moved some of my belongs into his house and I have left the remainder of my belongs in my apartment that I have not given up. To make a long story short, he has gone through 3 j...	joker	3	547	Aug 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	Divorce Is In The Works (Preview) My papers were served, he had 3 weeks to respond and did, even though he doesn't want to divorce. He did get his slip after a year of sobriety stopped and is back on track and for that I'm happy but it was enough to make my decision that I was done putting my life on hold and playing a waiting game. I have been on...	wornoutmrsfixit	13	732	Aug 28, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Resentments & need online sponsor (Preview) Today me and my AH got into a heated argument. Like usual the first thing I did was tell him to go to his "friends" (people he drinks/uses with). Then I proceeded to tell him that I throw the stuff he's done in his face because it's what he always does. He is a binge drinker and is currently sober a...	deramam	5	444	Aug 28, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Step 2 (Preview) Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery togetherhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58427338/alanon-step-2/	hotrod	0	268	Aug 28, 2014 by hotrod
	Dilemma (Preview) I have made the decision to file for divorce from my AH. It has been a very long journey to this point, but I know it is time. My dilemma lies in the execution. We have been together for 22 years and married for 15. We have been separated for the past 7 months and due to the fact that I was SAHM, I have remain...	Tossed Salad	14	623	Aug 28, 2014 by milkwood
	Resentment versus Opinion versus Confusion (Preview) Hi everyone! Hope all is well...I went to my AH's rehab center Saturday for the annual renewal day and had a nice time. Good to see my friends from my initial introduction to group family therapy a year ago! So my family counselor from there always says I have resentments over the 1/2 way house. So, I gave...	Flower49	9	627	Aug 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	And the manipulation begins... (Preview) So following the drama a couple of days ago, H had one drink yesterday and one today so far. People are drinking less too and not offering to get him any drinks - a part from his dad who tried twice. Anyway, he was bit by a small insect today and OMG, he is in so much pain you know? He actually told his mum he i...	Luiza	21	986	Aug 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	“Let me think, I need help” (Preview) My way trough he double hockey stick began somewhere in February last. My husband and me are living abroad. We are expats, and we have been married for almost 20 years. My husband started experiencing problems with allocutions all of a sudden one day in February. He was offered advancement at his...	Lovebear	3	588	Aug 27, 2014 by PP
	SIL (Preview) My AH's sister is one who parties all the time and smokes weed all the time but thinks she's a responsible mature adult. She tries to play the victim every chance she gets. My H and her mother died last yr and the estate lawyer has mailed emailed and called her to finish the estate and she has ignored him. Sh...	deramam	9	530	Aug 27, 2014 by Debilyn
	I detached, he left (Preview) So over the past few weeks I have kept away from my A as in I haven't seen him, but we have message'd from time to time. Usually with him messaging me things about how he has a new sponsor or how he's going to meetings on a daily basis and how he has counselling sessions arranged. To all of them I simply reply sa...	Flossy	8	634	Aug 26, 2014 by blessed
	I am feeling so much right now!!!! (Preview) I have my biopsy on Wednesday and my sponsor comes back tomorrow from his 2 week vacation. I have been using my tools, but I am so wide open right now. My cars new transmission is over $2000, my broken right arm has been hurting worse with my new job, because I'm over using it, but I love the job! I have been w...	Breakingfree	14	591	Aug 26, 2014 by blessed
	Improvments (Preview) I've written a couple of tortured posts here. Part 1: Part 2: and I thank everyone for their loving, keepin'-it-real advice. A week ago, shortly after my second post, I had a good talk with my ABF and told him how I was increasingly obsessing over him doing the "right thing", and it was maki...	nichtdaisy	4	532	Aug 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	Facebook and my possible mistake (Preview) So I think I did something dumb. I changed my last name on FB back to my maiden name. I was pissed when I did it...I admit it. I just wanted to really detach from AH. Now I am regretting what I did. I thought people would just figure out why I did it without actually asking me about it. No such luck. Coworkers an...	Newlife girl	9	523	Aug 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	Al-Anon Meetings Dwindling (Preview) I've been involved with Al-Anon for about 5-6 years now. I haven't been with my alcoholic ex-boyfriend in about 4+ years now. However, I'm a true co-dependent & realize that I fit the description of co-dependent in so many ways. I feel the need to fix things I cannot fix. Some days are better th...	Mitsy	28	1062	Aug 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Dishonesty ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) I don't know about you, but there was a time in recovery when although my gut instinct told me somebody was lying or manipulating or telling half truths, I'd ignore that and try to "help" or "support" them. I wasted a whole lot of time and energy doing that and I wound up not being...	grateful2be	91	2425	Aug 26, 2014 by Mari1978
	Getting Through The Withdrawal & Back To Drinking (Preview) I know not to have any expectations on my ABF and especially when it comes to his drinking. It is really strange though and it might take an alcoholic to answer this but, he goes through these weird phases as of late. He will actually withdrawal (stay sober for 4 days) and when he's in the clear of the bad wi...	Tampa	11	680	Aug 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Wanting to hear from those of you who experienced foreclosure on a house (Preview) It's a high possibility my house will be foreclosed within a few months. Long story. Basically my AH lives in the house. I moved out in March. I couldn't afford the mortgage anyway because he lost his job in March. I moved out mostly due to his drinking. He has fallen almost 3 months behind on payments. He...	Newlife girl	16	657	Aug 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	So Many Emotions Tonight (Preview) I celebrated fourteen years in the Alanon program tonight with my sponsor. She said, "I remembered!" She's so hard on herself lol. I think she forgot my anniversary only a few times in nine years. This time, I forgot and when she got out of her chair before the meeting began, I told her she...	tiredtonite	11	640	Aug 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	OMG, and then lol and then probably some more OMG (Preview) This isn't going to have an amusing ending but just for right now it's making me giggle. ABF has become upset by me sticking to my boundaries and maintaining that "we don't have to break up but we are moving into separate places until we have both gotten our lives sorted out" (this to me seems a...	missmeliss	24	829	Aug 26, 2014 by blessed
	My first night completely alone for...wow, 10 years!!! (Preview) That realisation really freaked me out. I haven't been alone in a place overnight for more than 10 years. I left half of the house illuminated, slept with the dog next to me and stuff piled in front of my door....lol, not the bravest girl in the world, me! ABF's exit became less funny after night fell and n...	missmeliss	9	608	Aug 26, 2014 by Newlife girl
	I'm new (Preview) Hi 2 every1!! I'm so sorry if I am taking away from some1 else's dicussion,really I am!!!! Just wondering if some1 can help? I'm moving away from my husband of 7yrs married & 11yrs 2gether. I've never loved so much until I met him,really! Since I'm lving,any1 mayquestion that??!!! I get it though...	need help	4	461	Aug 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	just don't know (Preview) sharing here and on my fb to get this out. son is off somewhere. Yesterday I found my healthy very loved oldest animal of my family had died. He fell off the deck, only a foot but could not get up. that morn I had been very sick the night before. end of month ate something wrong I guess. so I was up all night then...	Debilyn	12	629	Aug 25, 2014 by el-cee
	Constantly worrying (Preview) Hello all, I am new to the I group, my husband has been in recovery for 3 1/2 months. I am so proud of him and I try to be as supportive as I can be. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am always I worrying that something will go wrong. If things are okay, I create problems in my head. I worry that he will re...	Yazzymedo86	8	407	Aug 25, 2014 by PP
	fish out of water (Preview) Hi All, I am still working really hard to abstain from contacting my Active \abf after he slipped 3 weeks ago and have been doing really well. I can not engage with this disease like I did in the past I became really ill and nearly went down with him last time I have to love and protect myself. So I have been go...	Tracy	2	502	Aug 25, 2014 by PP
	confused (Preview) Ok. My Husband Took The First step And admitted he Was powerless Over Alcohol. Today is His Day One sober. My Question Is. Is It Normal For Someone Trying To Quit Drinking To Detach From Their partner And Not say I Love You Back Or feel Annoyed By Them? I Dont Know what to Do Or How To Support him Im lost Plea...	jillian	6	562	Aug 25, 2014 by Flower49
	My mother is succumbing to her alcoholism. (Preview) I'm having a really rough time right now. My mother is an alcoholic, and trust me, we've all tried to stop her from being one but there's really only so much you can do. I'm also finding it hard to find people to talk to at the moment, which is why I went and found this board. My Mom was first hospitalized in 20...	jigen	5	489	Aug 25, 2014 by deacon
	haillton area discussion groups??????? (Preview) does neone know of a Hamilton area discussion group for alanon members? im currently attending alanon meetings, but am looking for something a little more geared to where im at and more open discussion based.....not ur traditional alanon\aa meetings. just wondering if theres something like thi...	cheekymonkee	0	352	Aug 25, 2014 by cheekymonkee
	Need some feed back please (Preview) Hi all. I have been on mip boards since nearly 4years ago. Was a big poster on acoa and even hosted a meeting for a while then my partner found out and didnt like it...huge rows so I stopped. Ironically he is now on the acoa boards! I am a recovered alcoholic 12years. He on the other hand slipped continuou...	jm	9	535	Aug 25, 2014 by Mattie
	never get past day 3 of detox (Preview) after drinking daily for god knows how many years now, he can't not drink. he gets the shakes, even after 4-6 hourd of no alcohol. detoxing days lead us to great binges, where all kinds of bad go on. i am drained. done. he's sucking the life out of me, i can feel it. i have already lost a sister to alcohol ind...	dyinalileachday	4	513	Aug 25, 2014 by hotrod
	We walk alone (Preview) I have come to terms with everything. I've done my work, continue to do my work, live my life. Enjoy myself when times are good, and work to change and grow when times are bad. One thing I never expected was how lonely all of this was. While I greatly value AlAnon and it's support, and I have my own friend...	SpiderArcana	5	536	Aug 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	Hello everyone, I'm new here. (Preview) Yes, I'm a newcomer to the online chatroom. I started attending regular meetings the end of May and except for a few out of town occasions I've been going every week. Since separating from my husband two weeks ago I am in a new area and finding my way. I feel pretty good and AlAnon has really helped me a gre...	BlueBequia	8	616	Aug 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	When we control.................. (Preview) When we try to control, we become controlled; When we release, we become free. Bryant McGill This was sent to me through Facebook and it really rings true. I have attached the photo, but I am not sure if it will all come through. After reading this a few things I felt like such a relief leaving my should...	Jen61	3	315	Aug 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	looking for online support for pre-teen (Preview) My daughter's therapist suggested I try to find some type of on-line support for my pre-teen daughter whose father (my ex) is an A. Can anyone on this forum give me some suggestions of what that might look like? Links, etc to explore? She doesn't want the "face to face" of meetings but I be...	swimmom	1	324	Aug 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Earthquake in San Francisco/Any members affected? (Preview) Is anyone on our board from San Francisco or have family members or friends there? There appears to be some really scary stuff going on according to my internet update. Lots of prayers and positive thoughts being sent their way.	grateful2be	10	661	Aug 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Hop in that wheelbarrow (Preview) At a meeting last night we read from As We Understood (it's an 11th step meeting so the group reads from that gem every week). The passage had a wonderful analogy of a tight-rope walker asking his audience if they had faith if he could make it across - they cheered him on and then he came up with a wheelbarro...	Aloha	8	477	Aug 24, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Dry drunk? Sociopath? (Preview) I met him, felt an immediate connection (turns out he's very much like my father) and married him after a few short months. Didn't take long to see that alcohol was a problem, and I tried to reason with him about controlling himself. That turned into lies and fights and loss of trust (as newlyweds). A fe...	Kay10	12	3846	Aug 24, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	How important is it?!! (Preview) That question just screamed itself at me while being here and reading and participating in all of your other lives. Why haven't I mentioned it here and not often on the outside either. Why is it that my wife did a broadcast and I didn't. Why don't I celebrate good stuff and just take them for gran...	Jerry F	17	622	Aug 24, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Fed up and need advice. (Preview) Hi there....I am new to this site and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married for 11 years now and he has got worse and worse. His recent trip to hospital for nearly a month ended with him buying a bottle of Gin on the way home! He has told me that he ha...	fedup75	11	754	Aug 24, 2014 by hotrod
	Sunday (Preview) Yesterday, I attended The. Most. Awkward baby shower ever, and came home to find my husband drunk. I said nothing. He still attempted to find a way to be angry at me and blame me for this failing disaster of a marriage, and proceeded to storm off to bed at 8pm. Normally, I would be dumping bottles, or ru...	1lostmom	5	470	Aug 24, 2014 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.