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Step 2
(Preview)
Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery togetherhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58427338/alanon-step-2/
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hotrod
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0
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185
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Dilemma
(Preview)
I have made the decision to file for divorce from my AH. It has been a very long journey to this point, but I know it is time. My dilemma lies in the execution. We have been together for 22 years and married for 15. We have been separated for the past 7 months and due to the fact that I was SAHM, I have remain...
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Tossed Salad
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14
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542
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Resentment versus Opinion versus Confusion
(Preview)
Hi everyone! Hope all is well...I went to my AH's rehab center Saturday for the annual renewal day and had a nice time. Good to see my friends from my initial introduction to group family therapy a year ago! So my family counselor from there always says I have resentments over the 1/2 way house. So, I gave...
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Flower49
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9
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531
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And the manipulation begins...
(Preview)
So following the drama a couple of days ago, H had one drink yesterday and one today so far. People are drinking less too and not offering to get him any drinks - a part from his dad who tried twice. Anyway, he was bit by a small insect today and OMG, he is in so much pain you know? He actually told his mum he i...
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Luiza
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21
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899
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“Let me think, I need help”
(Preview)
My way trough he double hockey stick began somewhere in February last. My husband and me are living abroad. We are expats, and we have been married for almost 20 years. My husband started experiencing problems with allocutions all of a sudden one day in February. He was offered advancement at his...
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Lovebear
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3
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514
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SIL
(Preview)
My AH's sister is one who parties all the time and smokes weed all the time but thinks she's a responsible mature adult. She tries to play the victim every chance she gets. My H and her mother died last yr and the estate lawyer has mailed emailed and called her to finish the estate and she has ignored him. Sh...
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deramam
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9
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448
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I detached, he left
(Preview)
So over the past few weeks I have kept away from my A as in I haven't seen him, but we have message'd from time to time. Usually with him messaging me things about how he has a new sponsor or how he's going to meetings on a daily basis and how he has counselling sessions arranged. To all of them I simply reply sa...
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Flossy
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8
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557
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I am feeling so much right now!!!!
(Preview)
I have my biopsy on Wednesday and my sponsor comes back tomorrow from his 2 week vacation. I have been using my tools, but I am so wide open right now. My cars new transmission is over $2000, my broken right arm has been hurting worse with my new job, because I'm over using it, but I love the job! I have been w...
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Breakingfree
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14
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517
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Improvments
(Preview)
I've written a couple of tortured posts here. Part 1: Part 2: and I thank everyone for their loving, keepin'-it-real advice. A week ago, shortly after my second post, I had a good talk with my ABF and told him how I was increasingly obsessing over him doing the "right thing", and it was maki...
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nichtdaisy
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4
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451
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Facebook and my possible mistake
(Preview)
So I think I did something dumb. I changed my last name on FB back to my maiden name. I was pissed when I did it...I admit it. I just wanted to really detach from AH. Now I am regretting what I did. I thought people would just figure out why I did it without actually asking me about it. No such luck. Coworkers an...
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Newlife girl
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9
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438
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Al-Anon Meetings Dwindling
(Preview)
I've been involved with Al-Anon for about 5-6 years now. I haven't been with my alcoholic ex-boyfriend in about 4+ years now. However, I'm a true co-dependent & realize that I fit the description of co-dependent in so many ways. I feel the need to fix things I cannot fix. Some days are better th...
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Mitsy
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28
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979
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Dishonesty
(
1 2 3
)
(Preview)
I don't know about you, but there was a time in recovery when although my gut instinct told me somebody was lying or manipulating or telling half truths, I'd ignore that and try to "help" or "support" them. I wasted a whole lot of time and energy doing that and I wound up not being...
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grateful2be
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91
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2248
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Getting Through The Withdrawal & Back To Drinking
(Preview)
I know not to have any expectations on my ABF and especially when it comes to his drinking. It is really strange though and it might take an alcoholic to answer this but, he goes through these weird phases as of late. He will actually withdrawal (stay sober for 4 days) and when he's in the clear of the bad wi...
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Tampa
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11
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588
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Wanting to hear from those of you who experienced foreclosure on a house
(Preview)
It's a high possibility my house will be foreclosed within a few months. Long story. Basically my AH lives in the house. I moved out in March. I couldn't afford the mortgage anyway because he lost his job in March. I moved out mostly due to his drinking. He has fallen almost 3 months behind on payments. He...
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Newlife girl
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16
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574
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So Many Emotions Tonight
(Preview)
I celebrated fourteen years in the Alanon program tonight with my sponsor. She said, "I remembered!" She's so hard on herself lol. I think she forgot my anniversary only a few times in nine years. This time, I forgot and when she got out of her chair before the meeting began, I told her she...
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tiredtonite
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11
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568
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OMG, and then lol and then probably some more OMG
(Preview)
This isn't going to have an amusing ending but just for right now it's making me giggle. ABF has become upset by me sticking to my boundaries and maintaining that "we don't have to break up but we are moving into separate places until we have both gotten our lives sorted out" (this to me seems a...
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missmeliss
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24
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745
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My first night completely alone for...wow, 10 years!!!
(Preview)
That realisation really freaked me out. I haven't been alone in a place overnight for more than 10 years. I left half of the house illuminated, slept with the dog next to me and stuff piled in front of my door....lol, not the bravest girl in the world, me! ABF's exit became less funny after night fell and n...
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missmeliss
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9
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526
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I'm new
(Preview)
Hi 2 every1!! I'm so sorry if I am taking away from some1 else's dicussion,really I am!!!! Just wondering if some1 can help? I'm moving away from my husband of 7yrs married & 11yrs 2gether. I've never loved so much until I met him,really! Since I'm lving,any1 mayquestion that??!!! I get it though...
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need help
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4
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373
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just don't know
(Preview)
sharing here and on my fb to get this out. son is off somewhere. Yesterday I found my healthy very loved oldest animal of my family had died. He fell off the deck, only a foot but could not get up. that morn I had been very sick the night before. end of month ate something wrong I guess. so I was up all night then...
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Debilyn
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12
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539
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Constantly worrying
(Preview)
Hello all, I am new to the I group, my husband has been in recovery for 3 1/2 months. I am so proud of him and I try to be as supportive as I can be. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am always I worrying that something will go wrong. If things are okay, I create problems in my head. I worry that he will re...
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Yazzymedo86
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8
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333
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fish out of water
(Preview)
Hi All, I am still working really hard to abstain from contacting my Active \abf after he slipped 3 weeks ago and have been doing really well. I can not engage with this disease like I did in the past I became really ill and nearly went down with him last time I have to love and protect myself. So I have been go...
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Tracy
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2
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421
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confused
(Preview)
Ok. My Husband Took The First step And admitted he Was powerless Over Alcohol. Today is His Day One sober. My Question Is. Is It Normal For Someone Trying To Quit Drinking To Detach From Their partner And Not say I Love You Back Or feel Annoyed By Them? I Dont Know what to Do Or How To Support him Im lost Plea...
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jillian
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6
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480
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My mother is succumbing to her alcoholism.
(Preview)
I'm having a really rough time right now. My mother is an alcoholic, and trust me, we've all tried to stop her from being one but there's really only so much you can do. I'm also finding it hard to find people to talk to at the moment, which is why I went and found this board. My Mom was first hospitalized in 20...
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jigen
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5
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397
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haillton area discussion groups???????
(Preview)
does neone know of a Hamilton area discussion group for alanon members? im currently attending alanon meetings, but am looking for something a little more geared to where im at and more open discussion based.....not ur traditional alanon\aa meetings. just wondering if theres something like thi...
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cheekymonkee
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0
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213
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Need some feed back please
(Preview)
Hi all. I have been on mip boards since nearly 4years ago. Was a big poster on acoa and even hosted a meeting for a while then my partner found out and didnt like it...huge rows so I stopped. Ironically he is now on the acoa boards! I am a recovered alcoholic 12years. He on the other hand slipped continuou...
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jm
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9
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449
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never get past day 3 of detox
(Preview)
after drinking daily for god knows how many years now, he can't not drink. he gets the shakes, even after 4-6 hourd of no alcohol. detoxing days lead us to great binges, where all kinds of bad go on. i am drained. done. he's sucking the life out of me, i can feel it. i have already lost a sister to alcohol ind...
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dyinalileachday
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4
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441
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We walk alone
(Preview)
I have come to terms with everything. I've done my work, continue to do my work, live my life. Enjoy myself when times are good, and work to change and grow when times are bad. One thing I never expected was how lonely all of this was. While I greatly value AlAnon and it's support, and I have my own friend...
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SpiderArcana
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5
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453
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Hello everyone, I'm new here.
(Preview)
Yes, I'm a newcomer to the online chatroom. I started attending regular meetings the end of May and except for a few out of town occasions I've been going every week. Since separating from my husband two weeks ago I am in a new area and finding my way. I feel pretty good and AlAnon has really helped me a gre...
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BlueBequia
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8
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542
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When we control..................
(Preview)
When we try to control, we become controlled; When we release, we become free. Bryant McGill This was sent to me through Facebook and it really rings true. I have attached the photo, but I am not sure if it will all come through. After reading this a few things I felt like such a relief leaving my should...
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Jen61
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3
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232
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looking for online support for pre-teen
(Preview)
My daughter's therapist suggested I try to find some type of on-line support for my pre-teen daughter whose father (my ex) is an A. Can anyone on this forum give me some suggestions of what that might look like? Links, etc to explore? She doesn't want the "face to face" of meetings but I be...
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swimmom
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1
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249
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Earthquake in San Francisco/Any members affected?
(Preview)
Is anyone on our board from San Francisco or have family members or friends there? There appears to be some really scary stuff going on according to my internet update. Lots of prayers and positive thoughts being sent their way.
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grateful2be
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10
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579
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Hop in that wheelbarrow
(Preview)
At a meeting last night we read from As We Understood (it's an 11th step meeting so the group reads from that gem every week). The passage had a wonderful analogy of a tight-rope walker asking his audience if they had faith if he could make it across - they cheered him on and then he came up with a wheelbarro...
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Aloha
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8
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396
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Dry drunk? Sociopath?
(Preview)
I met him, felt an immediate connection (turns out he's very much like my father) and married him after a few short months. Didn't take long to see that alcohol was a problem, and I tried to reason with him about controlling himself. That turned into lies and fights and loss of trust (as newlyweds). A fe...
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Kay10
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12
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3517
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How important is it?!!
(Preview)
That question just screamed itself at me while being here and reading and participating in all of your other lives. Why haven't I mentioned it here and not often on the outside either. Why is it that my wife did a broadcast and I didn't. Why don't I celebrate good stuff and just take them for gran...
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Jerry F
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17
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546
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Fed up and need advice.
(Preview)
Hi there....I am new to this site and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married for 11 years now and he has got worse and worse. His recent trip to hospital for nearly a month ended with him buying a bottle of Gin on the way home! He has told me that he ha...
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fedup75
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11
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674
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Sunday
(Preview)
Yesterday, I attended The. Most. Awkward baby shower ever, and came home to find my husband drunk. I said nothing. He still attempted to find a way to be angry at me and blame me for this failing disaster of a marriage, and proceeded to storm off to bed at 8pm. Normally, I would be dumping bottles, or ru...
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1lostmom
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5
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389
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dating?
(Preview)
I've been in this new city for almost a month and have been hit on three times...loll my low self-esteem always had me thinking I was an ugly duckling. I did exchange numbers with one guy. So far we have just texted a few times. He asked me out on a date. It took me abt 5 hrs to text back I had to call my alanon fri...
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texasgal
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8
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498
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Question on entering rooms
(Preview)
I notice that I can't enter the Step room, chat room or any other room other than this one. Is anyone else experiencing that? The error message is that the page can't be displayed from the web?
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grateful2be
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8
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269
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This sucks so much less than I expected....
(Preview)
I'm actually a little shocked by how much I am enjoying this. Because my week was filled with "doings" and achievements I felt OK with just enjoying the peace today. I lay outside in the sun for most of it listening to the birds and just "being in the moment". I thought..you know w...
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missmeliss
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10
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579
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What will I find?
(Preview)
I fully understand that I am completely and utterly powerless over alcohol. I know what it is, and I know and understand the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual pain that this powerful drug can inflict. I understand that I am powerless and I accept this. With this new understanding, I know Go...
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cloudyskies
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8
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443
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can alcoholism be compared to cancer?
(Preview)
Lately, ive heard alcoholism being compared to cancer or dementia or other diseases. Can it really be compared to other diseases that are completely outwith the persons control? Ive heard someone ask, would you leave someone with parkinsons or ms? Probably not but I left someone with alcoholism, t...
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el-cee
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32
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930
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on vacation with my A
(Preview)
Hi all. I am at the beginning of a week's vacation with my A. I am pleased to report that so far there is no drinking. There is way too much eating. No gambling either yet. I guess 2 out of 3 aint bad. I have a very draining job and I have been looking forward to being away from work. I thought I would want...
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Lyne
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6
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381
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Sunday 8/24/2014 Spiritual Story: Connected through Nature's Beauty
(Preview)
Sunday 8/24/2014 Spiritual Story: Connected through Nature's Beauty Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. Today's Spiritual Story is:Connected through Nature's Beauty. Today's Spiritual Question is: Do I see the beauty found in nature? The website link to the group meeting room is htt...
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Tampa
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0
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177
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lost and hopeless
(Preview)
So I have been a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I have know him for about 8 years though. Everything was perfectly fine. I knew he had a history with drinking and had DUI's but he had finally gotten help and cleaned up. He was everything and more I could ask for in a man. He is the man I wa...
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ejriney
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5
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531
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Guidance for sponsor selection
(Preview)
Hi, I've decided it's time to ask a sponsor into my life. I have been looking off and on for a little while, but still have basically two gentlemen that I found at one of my first meetings. I don't have good access to a lot of meetings, I was hoping to broaden the field a bit, but I don't think I will be able t...
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KennyFenderjazz
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10
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478
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Keep putting those eggs in that one basket
(Preview)
Just feeling sad tonight and recognizing my urges to use other people to feel good about myself and validate myself, mostly other men who apparently, according to my sick psyche, are the most important people out there to tell me just how worthy I am or am not. I'm in a situation right now where I feel lik...
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Aloha
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7
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406
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Help.. he is trying to manipulate me
(Preview)
So last night I got on alanon chat and my A went and slept in another bedroom yelling out that I don't care about him anymore and I am game playing. This morning he said he was too sick to get up and come with me as we had planned to go and get out grandson. I asked him if I could do anything for him and he said th...
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shosh18
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6
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488
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how do i begin to let go?
(Preview)
Hi im new here and not to sure how this works. But im so lost and i dont even know where to begin. I Will Ramble If I Allow.myself So Ill Cut.it Short. My Husbands An Alcoholic has Been for 17 years We Have been Married For Five And have two amazing Children. I Made Him Leave Two Weeks Agao and i Dont know How To...
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jillian
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3
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531
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In all the excitement...
(Preview)
I forgot to say, I started my new course last week. (mental health/drug and alcohol). It felt SO GOOD to get up, DRIVE myself somewhere and spend the days with other grown-ups doing grown-up stuff! (Well actually, there was an awful lot of giggling and at one point we built towers out of colored straws...
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missmeliss
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10
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463
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Just fled my holiday accomodation.
(Preview)
We are abroad in a beach Villa. H has been drinking from the airport, on the plane and here non stop for 3 days now. I have been minding my own business and leaving him alone. Tonight he came in our apartment drunk and as daughter woke up and asked for water he did give it to her. Than kept talking and kissi...
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Luiza
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17
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542
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Do I belong here?
(Preview)
Last night my husband came home from a ball game having had a lot to drink. He says 5 beers, willing to bet it was more. What put me over the top was that he drove himself and two others home. My SIL call her brother the highest functioning A she knows. He is a professional, owns his own bizness and is a directo...
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me123
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1
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216
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Made my mip meeting last nite
(Preview)
Felt good also to have been at a meeting,Im anxious to get to going to my FTf meetings,I found a ph.no to call to find the exact location of the FTf meeting.hugs ,I'm grate full for all your replies to get to a meeting and your pushing me to keep the focus on myself and to take care of ME! It's wired that when I s...
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lookingup
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8
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333
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Is it Time To Go?
(Preview)
I have been struggling all day with this question. Last night had a talk with AH. He has been acting hinky since weekend. I asked him about it and he said he was thinking of leaving our house. Then the next thing he said was will you take me back if I do leave.. What am I to make of that? I reminded him tha...
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Hullibee
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21
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774
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Sunny day
(Preview)
Lovely bright, sunny day here in the UK. Sat quietly enjoying the warmth and motivation I am getting from reading these boards. I had quite a few maintenance jobs that needed doing around my home. I am feeling very blessed as I can hear the builder I have employed to do them working away. The work ...
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SunshineGirl
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7
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441
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the folk singer alcoholic….uggh
(Preview)
I've been up on all night crying, finally went to sleep, dreamed of the house we said we'd always built, making music in it with him. As he stomped around on guitar like a kid, I tried to accompany him w/ a tiny broken violin, and it was the most frustrating thing. I could hear the melody, and could squeak ou...
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astallaslions
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4
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491
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Finding a FTf meeting
(Preview)
Where do I or can I go or call to get directions to the meeting that's held in my next town over?today seems to be going peaceful just hope it stays this way for now anyway,I know and expect chaos and drama will come again just need to be prepared mentally I'm anxious to get started going to FTf now and I'm anx...
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lookingup
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10
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354
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Former client overdosed and died
(Preview)
This should not be a surprise and I guess it's not. This comes from the 8 months I worked with adult clients in Rehab. Most of them were Heroin addicts and this one was as well. 26 years old. I worked really hard with him, his family... He had issues with depression as well. He could do okay in rehab, b...
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pinkchip
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18
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601
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Acceptance ? No way.
(Preview)
I am new to all this, attended my first Al-anon meeting last week, my second meeting just last evening. One of the common themes members talk about is learning to accept our loved ones disease and realize we can't fix them. I am going to be frankly honest and strongly disagree with that thinking. I...
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Cooper
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21
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775
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Green Car ..
(Preview)
LOL .. I KNEW this was going to happen .. he showed up in the green car and I had set a boundary that while the car was NOT in his name he would NOT be driving the kids around in it. I'm sorry ... someone else's car and I don't know this person and so on. So I laughed to myself .. as I walked out before the kids did...
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SerenityRUS
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14
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466
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Cathy? Update please.
(Preview)
We haven't heard anything since yesterday. Are you doing okay?
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grateful2be
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5
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366
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