Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

el-cee · el-cee

I believe that we are just as sick as the alcoholic when we have or still live with alcoholism. Many of the symptoms are the same and if thats true then im burling drunk right now, or the equivelent. Ive gotten complacent I think. Ive lost touch with my sponsor, my hp, ive not picked up the phone in a while an...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

the STBAX would go away. We had another awful interchange actually I was out of it .. this was between him and our daughter. That kid is so her mother's daughter and he brought it on himself. She did REALLY well considering. Now he's managed to alienate the kids completely and they don't want to go on...

joker · joker

My abf is back in town again. He works in camp as an electrician. He works 2 weeks in and one week out. I have known him 4 months now and had moved some of my belongs into his house and I have left the remainder of my belongs in my apartment that I have not given up. To make a long story short, he has gone through 3 j...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

My papers were served, he had 3 weeks to respond and did, even though he doesn't want to divorce. He did get his slip after a year of sobriety stopped and is back on track and for that I'm happy but it was enough to make my decision that I was done putting my life on hold and playing a waiting game. I have been on...

deramam · deramam

Today me and my AH got into a heated argument. Like usual the first thing I did was tell him to go to his "friends" (people he drinks/uses with). Then I proceeded to tell him that I throw the stuff he's done in his face because it's what he always does. He is a binge drinker and is currently sober a...

hotrod · hotrod

Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery togetherhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58427338/alanon-step-2/

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I have made the decision to file for divorce from my AH. It has been a very long journey to this point, but I know it is time. My dilemma lies in the execution. We have been together for 22 years and married for 15. We have been separated for the past 7 months and due to the fact that I was SAHM, I have remain...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi everyone! Hope all is well...I went to my AH's rehab center Saturday for the annual renewal day and had a nice time. Good to see my friends from my initial introduction to group family therapy a year ago! So my family counselor from there always says I have resentments over the 1/2 way house. So, I gave...

Luiza · Luiza

So following the drama a couple of days ago, H had one drink yesterday and one today so far. People are drinking less too and not offering to get him any drinks - a part from his dad who tried twice. Anyway, he was bit by a small insect today and OMG, he is in so much pain you know? He actually told his mum he i...

Lovebear · Lovebear

My way trough he double hockey stick began somewhere in February last. My husband and me are living abroad. We are expats, and we have been married for almost 20 years. My husband started experiencing problems with allocutions all of a sudden one day in February. He was offered advancement at his...

deramam · deramam

My AH's sister is one who parties all the time and smokes weed all the time but thinks she's a responsible mature adult. She tries to play the victim every chance she gets. My H and her mother died last yr and the estate lawyer has mailed emailed and called her to finish the estate and she has ignored him. Sh...

Flossy · Flossy

So over the past few weeks I have kept away from my A as in I haven't seen him, but we have message'd from time to time. Usually with him messaging me things about how he has a new sponsor or how he's going to meetings on a daily basis and how he has counselling sessions arranged. To all of them I simply reply sa...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have my biopsy on Wednesday and my sponsor comes back tomorrow from his 2 week vacation. I have been using my tools, but I am so wide open right now. My cars new transmission is over $2000, my broken right arm has been hurting worse with my new job, because I'm over using it, but I love the job! I have been w...

nichtdaisy · nichtdaisy

I've written a couple of tortured posts here. Part 1: Part 2: and I thank everyone for their loving, keepin'-it-real advice. A week ago, shortly after my second post, I had a good talk with my ABF and told him how I was increasingly obsessing over him doing the "right thing", and it was maki...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So I think I did something dumb. I changed my last name on FB back to my maiden name. I was pissed when I did it...I admit it. I just wanted to really detach from AH. Now I am regretting what I did. I thought people would just figure out why I did it without actually asking me about it. No such luck. Coworkers an...

Mitsy · Mitsy

I've been involved with Al-Anon for about 5-6 years now. I haven't been with my alcoholic ex-boyfriend in about 4+ years now. However, I'm a true co-dependent & realize that I fit the description of co-dependent in so many ways. I feel the need to fix things I cannot fix. Some days are better th...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I don't know about you, but there was a time in recovery when although my gut instinct told me somebody was lying or manipulating or telling half truths, I'd ignore that and try to "help" or "support" them. I wasted a whole lot of time and energy doing that and I wound up not being...

Tampa · Tampa

I know not to have any expectations on my ABF and especially when it comes to his drinking. It is really strange though and it might take an alcoholic to answer this but, he goes through these weird phases as of late. He will actually withdrawal (stay sober for 4 days) and when he's in the clear of the bad wi...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

It's a high possibility my house will be foreclosed within a few months. Long story. Basically my AH lives in the house. I moved out in March. I couldn't afford the mortgage anyway because he lost his job in March. I moved out mostly due to his drinking. He has fallen almost 3 months behind on payments. He...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I celebrated fourteen years in the Alanon program tonight with my sponsor. She said, "I remembered!" She's so hard on herself lol. I think she forgot my anniversary only a few times in nine years. This time, I forgot and when she got out of her chair before the meeting began, I told her she...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This isn't going to have an amusing ending but just for right now it's making me giggle. ABF has become upset by me sticking to my boundaries and maintaining that "we don't have to break up but we are moving into separate places until we have both gotten our lives sorted out" (this to me seems a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

That realisation really freaked me out. I haven't been alone in a place overnight for more than 10 years. I left half of the house illuminated, slept with the dog next to me and stuff piled in front of my door....lol, not the bravest girl in the world, me! ABF's exit became less funny after night fell and n...

need help · need help

Hi 2 every1!! I'm so sorry if I am taking away from some1 else's dicussion,really I am!!!! Just wondering if some1 can help? I'm moving away from my husband of 7yrs married & 11yrs 2gether. I've never loved so much until I met him,really! Since I'm lving,any1 mayquestion that??!!! I get it though...

Debilyn · Debilyn

sharing here and on my fb to get this out. son is off somewhere. Yesterday I found my healthy very loved oldest animal of my family had died. He fell off the deck, only a foot but could not get up. that morn I had been very sick the night before. end of month ate something wrong I guess. so I was up all night then...

Yazzymedo86 · Yazzymedo86

Hello all, I am new to the I group, my husband has been in recovery for 3 1/2 months. I am so proud of him and I try to be as supportive as I can be. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am always I worrying that something will go wrong. If things are okay, I create problems in my head. I worry that he will re...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, I am still working really hard to abstain from contacting my Active \abf after he slipped 3 weeks ago and have been doing really well. I can not engage with this disease like I did in the past I became really ill and nearly went down with him last time I have to love and protect myself. So I have been go...

jillian · jillian

Ok. My Husband Took The First step And admitted he Was powerless Over Alcohol. Today is His Day One sober. My Question Is. Is It Normal For Someone Trying To Quit Drinking To Detach From Their partner And Not say I Love You Back Or feel Annoyed By Them? I Dont Know what to Do Or How To Support him Im lost Plea...

jigen · jigen

I'm having a really rough time right now. My mother is an alcoholic, and trust me, we've all tried to stop her from being one but there's really only so much you can do. I'm also finding it hard to find people to talk to at the moment, which is why I went and found this board. My Mom was first hospitalized in 20...

cheekymonkee · cheekymonkee

does neone know of a Hamilton area discussion group for alanon members? im currently attending alanon meetings, but am looking for something a little more geared to where im at and more open discussion based.....not ur traditional alanon\aa meetings. just wondering if theres something like thi...

jm · jm

Hi all. I have been on mip boards since nearly 4years ago. Was a big poster on acoa and even hosted a meeting for a while then my partner found out and didnt like it...huge rows so I stopped. Ironically he is now on the acoa boards! I am a recovered alcoholic 12years. He on the other hand slipped continuou...

dyinalileachday · dyinalileachday

after drinking daily for god knows how many years now, he can't not drink. he gets the shakes, even after 4-6 hourd of no alcohol. detoxing days lead us to great binges, where all kinds of bad go on. i am drained. done. he's sucking the life out of me, i can feel it. i have already lost a sister to alcohol ind...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I have come to terms with everything. I've done my work, continue to do my work, live my life. Enjoy myself when times are good, and work to change and grow when times are bad. One thing I never expected was how lonely all of this was. While I greatly value AlAnon and it's support, and I have my own friend...

BlueBequia · BlueBequia

Yes, I'm a newcomer to the online chatroom. I started attending regular meetings the end of May and except for a few out of town occasions I've been going every week. Since separating from my husband two weeks ago I am in a new area and finding my way. I feel pretty good and AlAnon has really helped me a gre...

Jen61 · Jen61

When we try to control, we become controlled; When we release, we become free. Bryant McGill This was sent to me through Facebook and it really rings true. I have attached the photo, but I am not sure if it will all come through. After reading this a few things I felt like such a relief leaving my should...

swimmom · swimmom

My daughter's therapist suggested I try to find some type of on-line support for my pre-teen daughter whose father (my ex) is an A. Can anyone on this forum give me some suggestions of what that might look like? Links, etc to explore? She doesn't want the "face to face" of meetings but I be...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Is anyone on our board from San Francisco or have family members or friends there? There appears to be some really scary stuff going on according to my internet update. Lots of prayers and positive thoughts being sent their way.

Aloha · Aloha

At a meeting last night we read from As We Understood (it's an 11th step meeting so the group reads from that gem every week). The passage had a wonderful analogy of a tight-rope walker asking his audience if they had faith if he could make it across - they cheered him on and then he came up with a wheelbarro...

Kay10 · Kay10

I met him, felt an immediate connection (turns out he's very much like my father) and married him after a few short months. Didn't take long to see that alcohol was a problem, and I tried to reason with him about controlling himself. That turned into lies and fights and loss of trust (as newlyweds). A fe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

That question just screamed itself at me while being here and reading and participating in all of your other lives. Why haven't I mentioned it here and not often on the outside either. Why is it that my wife did a broadcast and I didn't. Why don't I celebrate good stuff and just take them for gran...

fedup75 · fedup75

Hi there....I am new to this site and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married for 11 years now and he has got worse and worse. His recent trip to hospital for nearly a month ended with him buying a bottle of Gin on the way home! He has told me that he ha...

1lostmom · 1lostmom

Yesterday, I attended The. Most. Awkward baby shower ever, and came home to find my husband drunk. I said nothing. He still attempted to find a way to be angry at me and blame me for this failing disaster of a marriage, and proceeded to storm off to bed at 8pm. Normally, I would be dumping bottles, or ru...

texasgal · texasgal

I've been in this new city for almost a month and have been hit on three times...loll my low self-esteem always had me thinking I was an ugly duckling. I did exchange numbers with one guy. So far we have just texted a few times. He asked me out on a date. It took me abt 5 hrs to text back I had to call my alanon fri...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I notice that I can't enter the Step room, chat room or any other room other than this one. Is anyone else experiencing that? The error message is that the page can't be displayed from the web?

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm actually a little shocked by how much I am enjoying this. Because my week was filled with "doings" and achievements I felt OK with just enjoying the peace today. I lay outside in the sun for most of it listening to the birds and just "being in the moment". I thought..you know w...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I fully understand that I am completely and utterly powerless over alcohol. I know what it is, and I know and understand the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual pain that this powerful drug can inflict. I understand that I am powerless and I accept this. With this new understanding, I know Go...

el-cee · el-cee

Lately, ive heard alcoholism being compared to cancer or dementia or other diseases. Can it really be compared to other diseases that are completely outwith the persons control? Ive heard someone ask, would you leave someone with parkinsons or ms? Probably not but I left someone with alcoholism, t...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi all. I am at the beginning of a week's vacation with my A. I am pleased to report that so far there is no drinking. There is way too much eating. No gambling either yet. I guess 2 out of 3 aint bad. I have a very draining job and I have been looking forward to being away from work. I thought I would want...

Tampa · Tampa

Sunday 8/24/2014 Spiritual Story: Connected through Nature's Beauty Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. Today's Spiritual Story is:Connected through Nature's Beauty. Today's Spiritual Question is: Do I see the beauty found in nature? The website link to the group meeting room is htt...

ejriney · ejriney

So I have been a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I have know him for about 8 years though. Everything was perfectly fine. I knew he had a history with drinking and had DUI's but he had finally gotten help and cleaned up. He was everything and more I could ask for in a man. He is the man I wa...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

Hi, I've decided it's time to ask a sponsor into my life. I have been looking off and on for a little while, but still have basically two gentlemen that I found at one of my first meetings. I don't have good access to a lot of meetings, I was hoping to broaden the field a bit, but I don't think I will be able t...

Aloha · Aloha

Just feeling sad tonight and recognizing my urges to use other people to feel good about myself and validate myself, mostly other men who apparently, according to my sick psyche, are the most important people out there to tell me just how worthy I am or am not. I'm in a situation right now where I feel lik...

shosh18 · shosh18

So last night I got on alanon chat and my A went and slept in another bedroom yelling out that I don't care about him anymore and I am game playing. This morning he said he was too sick to get up and come with me as we had planned to go and get out grandson. I asked him if I could do anything for him and he said th...

jillian · jillian

Hi im new here and not to sure how this works. But im so lost and i dont even know where to begin. I Will Ramble If I Allow.myself So Ill Cut.it Short. My Husbands An Alcoholic has Been for 17 years We Have been Married For Five And have two amazing Children. I Made Him Leave Two Weeks Agao and i Dont know How To...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I forgot to say, I started my new course last week. (mental health/drug and alcohol). It felt SO GOOD to get up, DRIVE myself somewhere and spend the days with other grown-ups doing grown-up stuff! (Well actually, there was an awful lot of giggling and at one point we built towers out of colored straws...

Luiza · Luiza

We are abroad in a beach Villa. H has been drinking from the airport, on the plane and here non stop for 3 days now. I have been minding my own business and leaving him alone. Tonight he came in our apartment drunk and as daughter woke up and asked for water he did give it to her. Than kept talking and kissi...

me123 · me123

Last night my husband came home from a ball game having had a lot to drink. He says 5 beers, willing to bet it was more. What put me over the top was that he drove himself and two others home. My SIL call her brother the highest functioning A she knows. He is a professional, owns his own bizness and is a directo...

lookingup · lookingup

Felt good also to have been at a meeting,Im anxious to get to going to my FTf meetings,I found a ph.no to call to find the exact location of the FTf meeting.hugs ,I'm grate full for all your replies to get to a meeting and your pushing me to keep the focus on myself and to take care of ME! It's wired that when I s...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I have been struggling all day with this question. Last night had a talk with AH. He has been acting hinky since weekend. I asked him about it and he said he was thinking of leaving our house. Then the next thing he said was will you take me back if I do leave.. What am I to make of that? I reminded him tha...

SunshineGirl · SunshineGirl

Lovely bright, sunny day here in the UK. Sat quietly enjoying the warmth and motivation I am getting from reading these boards. I had quite a few maintenance jobs that needed doing around my home. I am feeling very blessed as I can hear the builder I have employed to do them working away. The work ...

astallaslions · astallaslions

I've been up on all night crying, finally went to sleep, dreamed of the house we said we'd always built, making music in it with him. As he stomped around on guitar like a kid, I tried to accompany him w/ a tiny broken violin, and it was the most frustrating thing. I could hear the melody, and could squeak ou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	complacency (Preview) I believe that we are just as sick as the alcoholic when we have or still live with alcoholism. Many of the symptoms are the same and if thats true then im burling drunk right now, or the equivelent. Ive gotten complacent I think. Ive lost touch with my sponsor, my hp, ive not picked up the phone in a while an...	el-cee	18	902	Aug 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	I just wish .. (Preview) the STBAX would go away. We had another awful interchange actually I was out of it .. this was between him and our daughter. That kid is so her mother's daughter and he brought it on himself. She did REALLY well considering. Now he's managed to alienate the kids completely and they don't want to go on...	SerenityRUS	5	414	Aug 28, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Making progress slowly (Preview) My abf is back in town again. He works in camp as an electrician. He works 2 weeks in and one week out. I have known him 4 months now and had moved some of my belongs into his house and I have left the remainder of my belongs in my apartment that I have not given up. To make a long story short, he has gone through 3 j...	joker	3	490	Aug 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	Divorce Is In The Works (Preview) My papers were served, he had 3 weeks to respond and did, even though he doesn't want to divorce. He did get his slip after a year of sobriety stopped and is back on track and for that I'm happy but it was enough to make my decision that I was done putting my life on hold and playing a waiting game. I have been on...	wornoutmrsfixit	13	663	Aug 28, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Resentments & need online sponsor (Preview) Today me and my AH got into a heated argument. Like usual the first thing I did was tell him to go to his "friends" (people he drinks/uses with). Then I proceeded to tell him that I throw the stuff he's done in his face because it's what he always does. He is a binge drinker and is currently sober a...	deramam	5	385	Aug 28, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Step 2 (Preview) Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery togetherhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t58427338/alanon-step-2/	hotrod	0	201	Aug 28, 2014 by hotrod
	Dilemma (Preview) I have made the decision to file for divorce from my AH. It has been a very long journey to this point, but I know it is time. My dilemma lies in the execution. We have been together for 22 years and married for 15. We have been separated for the past 7 months and due to the fact that I was SAHM, I have remain...	Tossed Salad	14	558	Aug 28, 2014 by milkwood
	Resentment versus Opinion versus Confusion (Preview) Hi everyone! Hope all is well...I went to my AH's rehab center Saturday for the annual renewal day and had a nice time. Good to see my friends from my initial introduction to group family therapy a year ago! So my family counselor from there always says I have resentments over the 1/2 way house. So, I gave...	Flower49	9	549	Aug 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	And the manipulation begins... (Preview) So following the drama a couple of days ago, H had one drink yesterday and one today so far. People are drinking less too and not offering to get him any drinks - a part from his dad who tried twice. Anyway, he was bit by a small insect today and OMG, he is in so much pain you know? He actually told his mum he i...	Luiza	21	917	Aug 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	“Let me think, I need help” (Preview) My way trough he double hockey stick began somewhere in February last. My husband and me are living abroad. We are expats, and we have been married for almost 20 years. My husband started experiencing problems with allocutions all of a sudden one day in February. He was offered advancement at his...	Lovebear	3	530	Aug 27, 2014 by PP
	SIL (Preview) My AH's sister is one who parties all the time and smokes weed all the time but thinks she's a responsible mature adult. She tries to play the victim every chance she gets. My H and her mother died last yr and the estate lawyer has mailed emailed and called her to finish the estate and she has ignored him. Sh...	deramam	9	464	Aug 27, 2014 by Debilyn
	I detached, he left (Preview) So over the past few weeks I have kept away from my A as in I haven't seen him, but we have message'd from time to time. Usually with him messaging me things about how he has a new sponsor or how he's going to meetings on a daily basis and how he has counselling sessions arranged. To all of them I simply reply sa...	Flossy	8	572	Aug 26, 2014 by blessed
	I am feeling so much right now!!!! (Preview) I have my biopsy on Wednesday and my sponsor comes back tomorrow from his 2 week vacation. I have been using my tools, but I am so wide open right now. My cars new transmission is over $2000, my broken right arm has been hurting worse with my new job, because I'm over using it, but I love the job! I have been w...	Breakingfree	14	533	Aug 26, 2014 by blessed
	Improvments (Preview) I've written a couple of tortured posts here. Part 1: Part 2: and I thank everyone for their loving, keepin'-it-real advice. A week ago, shortly after my second post, I had a good talk with my ABF and told him how I was increasingly obsessing over him doing the "right thing", and it was maki...	nichtdaisy	4	468	Aug 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	Facebook and my possible mistake (Preview) So I think I did something dumb. I changed my last name on FB back to my maiden name. I was pissed when I did it...I admit it. I just wanted to really detach from AH. Now I am regretting what I did. I thought people would just figure out why I did it without actually asking me about it. No such luck. Coworkers an...	Newlife girl	9	457	Aug 26, 2014 by Debilyn
	Al-Anon Meetings Dwindling (Preview) I've been involved with Al-Anon for about 5-6 years now. I haven't been with my alcoholic ex-boyfriend in about 4+ years now. However, I'm a true co-dependent & realize that I fit the description of co-dependent in so many ways. I feel the need to fix things I cannot fix. Some days are better th...	Mitsy	28	997	Aug 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Dishonesty ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) I don't know about you, but there was a time in recovery when although my gut instinct told me somebody was lying or manipulating or telling half truths, I'd ignore that and try to "help" or "support" them. I wasted a whole lot of time and energy doing that and I wound up not being...	grateful2be	91	2273	Aug 26, 2014 by Mari1978
	Getting Through The Withdrawal & Back To Drinking (Preview) I know not to have any expectations on my ABF and especially when it comes to his drinking. It is really strange though and it might take an alcoholic to answer this but, he goes through these weird phases as of late. He will actually withdrawal (stay sober for 4 days) and when he's in the clear of the bad wi...	Tampa	11	608	Aug 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Wanting to hear from those of you who experienced foreclosure on a house (Preview) It's a high possibility my house will be foreclosed within a few months. Long story. Basically my AH lives in the house. I moved out in March. I couldn't afford the mortgage anyway because he lost his job in March. I moved out mostly due to his drinking. He has fallen almost 3 months behind on payments. He...	Newlife girl	16	591	Aug 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	So Many Emotions Tonight (Preview) I celebrated fourteen years in the Alanon program tonight with my sponsor. She said, "I remembered!" She's so hard on herself lol. I think she forgot my anniversary only a few times in nine years. This time, I forgot and when she got out of her chair before the meeting began, I told her she...	tiredtonite	11	584	Aug 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	OMG, and then lol and then probably some more OMG (Preview) This isn't going to have an amusing ending but just for right now it's making me giggle. ABF has become upset by me sticking to my boundaries and maintaining that "we don't have to break up but we are moving into separate places until we have both gotten our lives sorted out" (this to me seems a...	missmeliss	24	762	Aug 26, 2014 by blessed
	My first night completely alone for...wow, 10 years!!! (Preview) That realisation really freaked me out. I haven't been alone in a place overnight for more than 10 years. I left half of the house illuminated, slept with the dog next to me and stuff piled in front of my door....lol, not the bravest girl in the world, me! ABF's exit became less funny after night fell and n...	missmeliss	9	542	Aug 26, 2014 by Newlife girl
	I'm new (Preview) Hi 2 every1!! I'm so sorry if I am taking away from some1 else's dicussion,really I am!!!! Just wondering if some1 can help? I'm moving away from my husband of 7yrs married & 11yrs 2gether. I've never loved so much until I met him,really! Since I'm lving,any1 mayquestion that??!!! I get it though...	need help	4	390	Aug 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	just don't know (Preview) sharing here and on my fb to get this out. son is off somewhere. Yesterday I found my healthy very loved oldest animal of my family had died. He fell off the deck, only a foot but could not get up. that morn I had been very sick the night before. end of month ate something wrong I guess. so I was up all night then...	Debilyn	12	558	Aug 25, 2014 by el-cee
	Constantly worrying (Preview) Hello all, I am new to the I group, my husband has been in recovery for 3 1/2 months. I am so proud of him and I try to be as supportive as I can be. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am always I worrying that something will go wrong. If things are okay, I create problems in my head. I worry that he will re...	Yazzymedo86	8	346	Aug 25, 2014 by PP
	fish out of water (Preview) Hi All, I am still working really hard to abstain from contacting my Active \abf after he slipped 3 weeks ago and have been doing really well. I can not engage with this disease like I did in the past I became really ill and nearly went down with him last time I have to love and protect myself. So I have been go...	Tracy	2	437	Aug 25, 2014 by PP
	confused (Preview) Ok. My Husband Took The First step And admitted he Was powerless Over Alcohol. Today is His Day One sober. My Question Is. Is It Normal For Someone Trying To Quit Drinking To Detach From Their partner And Not say I Love You Back Or feel Annoyed By Them? I Dont Know what to Do Or How To Support him Im lost Plea...	jillian	6	497	Aug 25, 2014 by Flower49
	My mother is succumbing to her alcoholism. (Preview) I'm having a really rough time right now. My mother is an alcoholic, and trust me, we've all tried to stop her from being one but there's really only so much you can do. I'm also finding it hard to find people to talk to at the moment, which is why I went and found this board. My Mom was first hospitalized in 20...	jigen	5	415	Aug 25, 2014 by deacon
	haillton area discussion groups??????? (Preview) does neone know of a Hamilton area discussion group for alanon members? im currently attending alanon meetings, but am looking for something a little more geared to where im at and more open discussion based.....not ur traditional alanon\aa meetings. just wondering if theres something like thi...	cheekymonkee	0	265	Aug 25, 2014 by cheekymonkee
	Need some feed back please (Preview) Hi all. I have been on mip boards since nearly 4years ago. Was a big poster on acoa and even hosted a meeting for a while then my partner found out and didnt like it...huge rows so I stopped. Ironically he is now on the acoa boards! I am a recovered alcoholic 12years. He on the other hand slipped continuou...	jm	9	465	Aug 25, 2014 by Mattie
	never get past day 3 of detox (Preview) after drinking daily for god knows how many years now, he can't not drink. he gets the shakes, even after 4-6 hourd of no alcohol. detoxing days lead us to great binges, where all kinds of bad go on. i am drained. done. he's sucking the life out of me, i can feel it. i have already lost a sister to alcohol ind...	dyinalileachday	4	457	Aug 25, 2014 by hotrod
	We walk alone (Preview) I have come to terms with everything. I've done my work, continue to do my work, live my life. Enjoy myself when times are good, and work to change and grow when times are bad. One thing I never expected was how lonely all of this was. While I greatly value AlAnon and it's support, and I have my own friend...	SpiderArcana	5	471	Aug 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	Hello everyone, I'm new here. (Preview) Yes, I'm a newcomer to the online chatroom. I started attending regular meetings the end of May and except for a few out of town occasions I've been going every week. Since separating from my husband two weeks ago I am in a new area and finding my way. I feel pretty good and AlAnon has really helped me a gre...	BlueBequia	8	556	Aug 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	When we control.................. (Preview) When we try to control, we become controlled; When we release, we become free. Bryant McGill This was sent to me through Facebook and it really rings true. I have attached the photo, but I am not sure if it will all come through. After reading this a few things I felt like such a relief leaving my should...	Jen61	3	248	Aug 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	looking for online support for pre-teen (Preview) My daughter's therapist suggested I try to find some type of on-line support for my pre-teen daughter whose father (my ex) is an A. Can anyone on this forum give me some suggestions of what that might look like? Links, etc to explore? She doesn't want the "face to face" of meetings but I be...	swimmom	1	265	Aug 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Earthquake in San Francisco/Any members affected? (Preview) Is anyone on our board from San Francisco or have family members or friends there? There appears to be some really scary stuff going on according to my internet update. Lots of prayers and positive thoughts being sent their way.	grateful2be	10	595	Aug 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	Hop in that wheelbarrow (Preview) At a meeting last night we read from As We Understood (it's an 11th step meeting so the group reads from that gem every week). The passage had a wonderful analogy of a tight-rope walker asking his audience if they had faith if he could make it across - they cheered him on and then he came up with a wheelbarro...	Aloha	8	413	Aug 24, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Dry drunk? Sociopath? (Preview) I met him, felt an immediate connection (turns out he's very much like my father) and married him after a few short months. Didn't take long to see that alcohol was a problem, and I tried to reason with him about controlling himself. That turned into lies and fights and loss of trust (as newlyweds). A fe...	Kay10	12	3582	Aug 24, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	How important is it?!! (Preview) That question just screamed itself at me while being here and reading and participating in all of your other lives. Why haven't I mentioned it here and not often on the outside either. Why is it that my wife did a broadcast and I didn't. Why don't I celebrate good stuff and just take them for gran...	Jerry F	17	562	Aug 24, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Fed up and need advice. (Preview) Hi there....I am new to this site and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married for 11 years now and he has got worse and worse. His recent trip to hospital for nearly a month ended with him buying a bottle of Gin on the way home! He has told me that he ha...	fedup75	11	690	Aug 24, 2014 by hotrod
	Sunday (Preview) Yesterday, I attended The. Most. Awkward baby shower ever, and came home to find my husband drunk. I said nothing. He still attempted to find a way to be angry at me and blame me for this failing disaster of a marriage, and proceeded to storm off to bed at 8pm. Normally, I would be dumping bottles, or ru...	1lostmom	5	407	Aug 24, 2014 by hotrod
	dating? (Preview) I've been in this new city for almost a month and have been hit on three times...loll my low self-esteem always had me thinking I was an ugly duckling. I did exchange numbers with one guy. So far we have just texted a few times. He asked me out on a date. It took me abt 5 hrs to text back I had to call my alanon fri...	texasgal	8	513	Aug 24, 2014 by Debilyn
	Question on entering rooms (Preview) I notice that I can't enter the Step room, chat room or any other room other than this one. Is anyone else experiencing that? The error message is that the page can't be displayed from the web?	grateful2be	8	286	Aug 24, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	This sucks so much less than I expected.... (Preview) I'm actually a little shocked by how much I am enjoying this. Because my week was filled with "doings" and achievements I felt OK with just enjoying the peace today. I lay outside in the sun for most of it listening to the birds and just "being in the moment". I thought..you know w...	missmeliss	10	594	Aug 24, 2014 by PP
	What will I find? (Preview) I fully understand that I am completely and utterly powerless over alcohol. I know what it is, and I know and understand the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual pain that this powerful drug can inflict. I understand that I am powerless and I accept this. With this new understanding, I know Go...	cloudyskies	8	462	Aug 24, 2014 by PP
	can alcoholism be compared to cancer? (Preview) Lately, ive heard alcoholism being compared to cancer or dementia or other diseases. Can it really be compared to other diseases that are completely outwith the persons control? Ive heard someone ask, would you leave someone with parkinsons or ms? Probably not but I left someone with alcoholism, t...	el-cee	32	949	Aug 24, 2014 by grateful2be
	on vacation with my A (Preview) Hi all. I am at the beginning of a week's vacation with my A. I am pleased to report that so far there is no drinking. There is way too much eating. No gambling either yet. I guess 2 out of 3 aint bad. I have a very draining job and I have been looking forward to being away from work. I thought I would want...	Lyne	6	399	Aug 24, 2014 by el-cee
	Sunday 8/24/2014 Spiritual Story: Connected through Nature's Beauty (Preview) Sunday 8/24/2014 Spiritual Story: Connected through Nature's Beauty Meeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. Today's Spiritual Story is:Connected through Nature's Beauty. Today's Spiritual Question is: Do I see the beauty found in nature? The website link to the group meeting room is htt...	Tampa	0	193	Aug 24, 2014 by Tampa
	lost and hopeless (Preview) So I have been a relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I have know him for about 8 years though. Everything was perfectly fine. I knew he had a history with drinking and had DUI's but he had finally gotten help and cleaned up. He was everything and more I could ask for in a man. He is the man I wa...	ejriney	5	547	Aug 24, 2014 by 1lostmom
	Guidance for sponsor selection (Preview) Hi, I've decided it's time to ask a sponsor into my life. I have been looking off and on for a little while, but still have basically two gentlemen that I found at one of my first meetings. I don't have good access to a lot of meetings, I was hoping to broaden the field a bit, but I don't think I will be able t...	KennyFenderjazz	10	494	Aug 23, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Keep putting those eggs in that one basket (Preview) Just feeling sad tonight and recognizing my urges to use other people to feel good about myself and validate myself, mostly other men who apparently, according to my sick psyche, are the most important people out there to tell me just how worthy I am or am not. I'm in a situation right now where I feel lik...	Aloha	7	422	Aug 23, 2014 by michaelwriting
	Help.. he is trying to manipulate me (Preview) So last night I got on alanon chat and my A went and slept in another bedroom yelling out that I don't care about him anymore and I am game playing. This morning he said he was too sick to get up and come with me as we had planned to go and get out grandson. I asked him if I could do anything for him and he said th...	shosh18	6	507	Aug 23, 2014 by shosh18
	how do i begin to let go? (Preview) Hi im new here and not to sure how this works. But im so lost and i dont even know where to begin. I Will Ramble If I Allow.myself So Ill Cut.it Short. My Husbands An Alcoholic has Been for 17 years We Have been Married For Five And have two amazing Children. I Made Him Leave Two Weeks Agao and i Dont know How To...	jillian	3	545	Aug 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	In all the excitement... (Preview) I forgot to say, I started my new course last week. (mental health/drug and alcohol). It felt SO GOOD to get up, DRIVE myself somewhere and spend the days with other grown-ups doing grown-up stuff! (Well actually, there was an awful lot of giggling and at one point we built towers out of colored straws...	missmeliss	10	479	Aug 23, 2014 by milkwood
	Just fled my holiday accomodation. (Preview) We are abroad in a beach Villa. H has been drinking from the airport, on the plane and here non stop for 3 days now. I have been minding my own business and leaving him alone. Tonight he came in our apartment drunk and as daughter woke up and asked for water he did give it to her. Than kept talking and kissi...	Luiza	17	558	Aug 22, 2014 by Rea
	Do I belong here? (Preview) Last night my husband came home from a ball game having had a lot to drink. He says 5 beers, willing to bet it was more. What put me over the top was that he drove himself and two others home. My SIL call her brother the highest functioning A she knows. He is a professional, owns his own bizness and is a directo...	me123	1	233	Aug 22, 2014 by grateful2be
	Made my mip meeting last nite (Preview) Felt good also to have been at a meeting,Im anxious to get to going to my FTf meetings,I found a ph.no to call to find the exact location of the FTf meeting.hugs ,I'm grate full for all your replies to get to a meeting and your pushing me to keep the focus on myself and to take care of ME! It's wired that when I s...	lookingup	8	350	Aug 22, 2014 by lookingup
	Is it Time To Go? (Preview) I have been struggling all day with this question. Last night had a talk with AH. He has been acting hinky since weekend. I asked him about it and he said he was thinking of leaving our house. Then the next thing he said was will you take me back if I do leave.. What am I to make of that? I reminded him tha...	Hullibee	21	790	Aug 22, 2014 by andromeda
	Sunny day (Preview) Lovely bright, sunny day here in the UK. Sat quietly enjoying the warmth and motivation I am getting from reading these boards. I had quite a few maintenance jobs that needed doing around my home. I am feeling very blessed as I can hear the builder I have employed to do them working away. The work ...	SunshineGirl	7	457	Aug 22, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	the folk singer alcoholic….uggh (Preview) I've been up on all night crying, finally went to sleep, dreamed of the house we said we'd always built, making music in it with him. As he stomped around on guitar like a kid, I tried to accompany him w/ a tiny broken violin, and it was the most frustrating thing. I could hear the melody, and could squeak ou...	astallaslions	4	508	Aug 22, 2014 by Debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.