The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new to the I group, my husband has been in recovery for 3 1/2 months. I am so proud of him and I try to be as supportive as I can be. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am always I worrying that something will go wrong. If things are okay, I create problems in my head. I worry that he will relapse constantly. I thought once he would be sober I would be relieved, but that is not the case, and I'm starting to get really sick dealing with all this anxiety.
If you are attending Al-Anon recovery meetings for yourself, you will learn how to stop worrying and start living one day at a time with the tools of the program which includes other members working the program, Al-Anon literature, and learning the steps and practicing them with a sponsor. Glad to see you here and hope that if you aren't attending Al-Anon meetings, that you find one close to you by checking the white pages in your phone book or contacting our World Service Office for Al-Anon which can be found on the web. Keep coming back. It works if you work it.
Hi Yazzy, welcome to Miracles In Progress,
When my wife came back from inpatient treatment I had the same kind of problem. Worrying about whether she would relapse, wanting to try to "help" her to stay sober.
In Alanon I then learned that I couldn't help her, she had to do it herself. Sure, there are things I can do for her, but they mostly involved changing my behavior and the way I relate to her., and especially changing my attitude from one of "how will I help her?" to one of "how can I relieve my stress" - which helped her tremendously.
Alanon has helped me to help her have 9months of sobriety now. More importantly, it has helped me understand myself and how much I play victim and accept unacceptable behavior, and how to start changing my attitudes to change those behaviors.
Some do find on-line sponsors and the ideal face to face sponsor is suggested. I guess I'd start with the on-line meetings first and see where that leads me.
Welcome to MIP. I agree with what the others have said. Do the best you can wherever you are and keep sharing here. Read through the many posts that are available here and take one day at a time
