The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am wondering what the protocol is for dating another al anon member. I have been single for 5 years and feel ready to date. There is a man in a meeting I attend who is age appropriate and emotionally available.
There is no protocol that I'm aware of in the program on dating. Personally, I wouldn't date someone in Al-Anon until I'd been in the program for at least 3 years, developed a genuine friendship with the man without romance for at least a year or two, and then weighed the cost and the risk in moving from friendship to romance before I agreed to date him if he asked me.
Welcome AMG I believe it is a matter of choice. I began to go for coffee with a gentleman from my meetings. That lasted for a year and then, after a year of getting to know each other we decided to go to a movie on a date .
I have been with this man for the last 27 years and it is a successful relationship We both know and use alanon tools, walk together side by side, stay in our own hula hoop and truly enjoy the relationship,
I must add that I never wanted to marry again and was up front about this from the beginning . Alanon principles and being honest, open and willing works in all my affairs
I can't speak from personal experience but I can say that I know quite a few 'couples' from my Al Anon meetings and they are all beautifully working out for everyone. I have a friend who has more program than her boyfriend and they knew it was risky going into it, along with the fact that he had 3 small children and was just newly divorced. They took it very slowly and they are not planning to live together, etc before marriage. They have been together for about 20 months now and I love seeing the genuine caring and love they have for each other and it's been wonderful to see him grow and catch up to her, LOL, using the program.
Having said that, if you are in Al Anon and working a program, I would throw this one past your sponsor and keep the lines of communication open. Welcome to the boards.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
I would go for it, we only get one life and its short and if this guys working the steps and is not an a, then hes perfect in my view. Hotrod, good on you for going for it too.x
