Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling w/ the right words to say on here sometimes. I always want to say something profound & meaningful. I always wonder if I am saying something that may not be approved. I just guess I will wing it. I have been thinking about my Papa lately. He is on my mind especially this time of year. Actu...

texas yankee · texas yankee

Hi - I'd like to ask for a sanity check on something that's happened several times now. My adult son is not using drugs, but he's not working any kind of program - he's a smart guy, but the disease has been mostly in control and his bad choices on financial matters and other day-to-day stuff have outweigh...

andromeda · andromeda

So, things have taken a turn in my own mind and I really need to re-evaluate what is going on right now. I was determined to end my marriage and file for divorce right after the holidays. We're having some financial struggles right now and it's really putting things into perspective over where I will b...

josiehere · josiehere

HI! Please share about finding, choosing, and approaching your sponsor. Thank you!

mjferg · mjferg

Thanksgiving was a time for me to shine!Oh I was a little Martha Stewart!Everything was perfect,the house was spotless.My mom complaining she was starving, was it ready yet!My dad yelling at the kids, and he couldn't hear the parade! I cooked for 2 days!By the time we sat down to eat I was sick.Inside...

Mattie · Mattie

My A never stopped drinking, but after we separated ten years ago the situation got pretty stable. He never showed up visibly drunk, and we worked out an arrangement where he saw our son twice a week. Since he's a binge-drinker, he has long periods of sobriety. He even took care of our son (who wasn't...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi all This may be a controversial topic but I just wanted to canvas some opinions. I made a decision for myself a while ago that I would not drink at all in the house. My AH is an active A but most of the time he too try's hard to not drink in the house. I suppose my motive at the time was that everytime he asked me...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am starting to wonder if it is a bad thing to create fantasies in my head in order to not obsess over my AH and all our problems. I know it makes me feel better, and I admit I am kinda flirting with someone. This someone is a single man with a great job. Recently he mentioned he wants to travel and wants to know...

Jerry F · Jerry F

That was a response my sponsor gave to me when I was repeating "this doesn't work for me" over and over and over....whaaaa whaaa whaa. Well that is how I found out the program works...because I gave away something I felt wasn't working for me and it worked for them and I got thanked fo...

Southerngirl · Southerngirl

Hello all. I've been reading here for a while and I just want to say thanks for letting me be a fly on the wall. Being able to read and listen have been invaluable to me. I started attending a local group several months ago and just last week talked to the group leader about being my sponsor. I'm sure I'm not a...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 8 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your ES H even if you are not up to this step. The link...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah and i are trying to work on the financials. So we are trying to work together, first mediation then we did one on one to talk financials only. He would not discuss any personal stuff About our failed marriage. He would not talk about us outside of divorce. The mediator said we had a lot of unresol...

Wolfie · Wolfie

Yeah. Wolfie here. Aka Bernie. I know. I disappeared again. Only a few months this time. I could say it's the weird hours I work. Or that the outreach program Nancy and I are doing takes a lot of our time. Or That I bumped into some personalities again but that would be like saying other people or situation...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Just a reminder... Had a rough night but remembered that *feelings* have nothing to do with TRUTH. Feelings come and go, and change. TRUTH stands and is truth for a reason. When we feel down, we should remember that there IS a higher power, through which all things are possible. Ask for help. Someti...

Cooper · Cooper

So I don't want to bash Al-Anon but one of the reasons I started attending meetings is because I was led to believe you didn't need to be religious. I have attended two different groups in my area and both are very very religiously driven. I have openly talked about this at a meeting and was told to focu...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I am sad beyond belief. The grief has hit it's all time height. I know there are 5 stages of grief. I have hit the first few stages already: 1. Denial and isolation, 2. Bargaining, 3. Depression. The next stage that I am experiencing is the Anger. I am so mad at my AH. He moved back home on Monday. I...

Cooper · Cooper

God I hate alcohol....dealt with it my entire life...even being sober myself for many years alcohol/addiction still affects my life and that sucks. Two months ago I finally had to draw the line with my 21 year old son and make him leave home. He had been stealing money and prescriptions out of my roo...

Wolfie · Wolfie

Hi. Hello. Whats up? How's everyone doing? I got lost again but I'm back again.

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Take your pick of these and everyone feel free to add some!

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I have a daughter who is completely amused by putting her face in a plastic jug and making sounds. (she's one and a half). Play is not always a thing that comes naturally after years of coda training so I'm asking you all, what do you do for fun? I struggle with this,tend to deny it for years and years then br...

Nightingale · Nightingale

I am so desperate to let this issue go but it just keeps creeping up on me. I need help but please do tell me to just get over it. If I could I would have a long time ago. I've been with a sober alcoholic for 6 and a half years. It was a rocky start for a lot of reasons. I was going through a divorce with another alcoh...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

i'm so mad right now. Two months ago, my AH was diagnosed with mild acute pancreatitus. He had a 4 hour IV flush three days in a row. Two visits to the ER for hallucinations while he detoxed. He got his labs back a couple of days ago, and he's super-lucky. Everything back to normal, no liver damage, and...

mjferg · mjferg

The holidays are fast approaching and yesterday I was thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas and I had a panic attack!I am realizing that I really struggle emotionally around the holidays.I usually have an underlying depression around the holidays, it is just a sadness that haunts me. And in th...

Carolann · Carolann

Several years ago my daughter( now 24 yrs old) entered college. She soon met a young man through friends. Her life gradually spiraled out of control. We came to realize that she was willingly addicted to what we began to see was a toxic , abusive, relationship involving drugs and physical abuse. Long s...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have allowed him into some of my trauma, like when I lost my virginity I was 12 and I was raped, molested what ever you wish to call it. I continued to let this guy that lived in the neighborhood take advantage of me just to feel loved for a few years, when I tried to tell my Mother about it, she silenced me, pu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is one of those days where my hands won't get warm. Anyhow, I am going to continue to type mistakes or not. So, what I am thinking is that I am so blessed w/ super-great friends who I can call on almost daily. Some people take time out of their busy schedules to talk to me, listen or even give me a ride. I a...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I am so grateful for the Al-Anon program. Since joining almost six years ago, it has been quite a journey. Six years ago I was depressed and wondering how I would ever get out of the dark place that I had entered in my life. This month, I was offered a larger apartment in my complex after being on the waiting...

4Horses · 4Horses

I am a newbie to this site. I joined in hopes of getting some ideas on how to help my daughter. She is 28 years old and has everything going for her, a college degree, a good job, people that love her, etc.. However, she has a depression problem, which she won't discuss. And her answer is the bottle. No...

dizbee · dizbee

Long story as short as I can tell it, last year this time we had a full-on intervention, had an interventionist fly in from California to where we live in NY. We ambushed her, and she finally agreed to go into a 3 month rehab in Utah. Here we are a year later and she is in her 3rd detox in Utah. This time is home...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Sigh, I put in a lot of work to make sure the old place was well and truly clean and orderly, I had the few bits of damaged plaster repaired flawlessly and painted, the gardens were good and the agent said the place was great, "damage free" and asked me to go back and dust again and "remove t...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am learning to laugh at myself in my martial arts class. I am quickly approaching 50 and my goal is to get my black belt before then...I am on track. So I was laughing at myself, then I heard a guy in my class moaning and groaning. He is in his late 50's. He tells us about his health problems, and he also laugh...

Pat916 · Pat916

So im new to this board as well as my alanon meetings. I told my AH a few weeks ago that i was starting therapy and would be going to meetings to make me stronger. Definitely did not like the idea of it being that our town is small amd doesn't want us to be airing our dirty laundry. Just my presence there he said...

mjferg · mjferg

I am feeling much better today!What a journey this has been.I feel like Bilbo Baggins leaving the comfort of the Shire going to slay the dragon!I am a hopeless romantic,by the way and I love whimsy!I realize as I face each demon from my past,painful as it is,I heal and grow.I realize I can't change the p...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Wonder of wonder miracle or miracles...I wouldn't be here if I wasn't a miracle. I think even my birth was a miracle. And, to top it off, I am still a miracle. God put me here to carry the message. And, I intend to do something for someone every day as I am able. You see the key to happiness is not what you have i...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It's sort of coming from all sides just now. But I think I'm coping OK. Excuse the fact that there is a lot of grizzling in this post. I think it's all coming from a reasonably healthy place as I become accustomed to not responding to garbage from the garbologists in my life. Mother has returned from her ho...

milkwood · milkwood

AH and I had to go to a meeting at our local council this morning, accompanied by a young official chap. There was a long wait, about an hour, before we could go in, and lots of other people were also waiting to see this particular council official. Anyway, AH and our young chap were chatting away and I wa...

PP · PP

I am having a panicky moment here and would like some feedback. I have had a male spiritual director for many years. He is an older, gay gentlemen who has been a wonderful mentor. In the many years of my husbands addictions and into the early years of his recovery, he was jealous and very suspicious t...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I know this is probably a case of qtip but it feels so real! I'm very hypersensitive of late, it's truly hideous. Anyway today I received a cloak and dagger dig on my familial background through my stbx mil through my ah. Its regarding an aunt who is a whackjob drunk coda drug abuser....how my cousins sur...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I would like to announce the birth of my granddaughter, Lillian Rebecca. She was born tonight at 9:21 weighing 6lbs 10.9 ozs. She is beautiful. Thank you God for blessing us with a healthy baby.

katiemac · katiemac

Things have just gone full circle. I came to Alanon when my son started drinking as a teen. I grew up with an alcoholic dad & I am a dual program woman. I am also in AA. So my son was also raised by an alcoholic. He has the same broken picker that I had when I came to Alanon. My heart breaks as I see him goin...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

orare hard headed. Over the generations, much has changed, humility has given way to ego. The island is alcoholic. Every single person living on it qualifies for alanon. I think its long been this way. Only I recall a fiesty lineage that was strong yet soft. Today I bumped into a fellow islander accide...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

My AW will have her first sober anniversary this Saturday. It's a big day for her of course, and I am very proud of her. I want to get her a present, but I'm the most unimaginative present-giver in the world. Anybody have any ideas? Of course, any idea should cost nothing and require no work (just kiddi...

Mattie · Mattie

As I mentioned a little while ago, a friend told me some things that suggested my A has started a downward slide, after many years of stability. He arrived tonight to pick up our child, and he was plastered. And he looked really terrible - disheveled, slurring, pants unzipped. This has never happened...

jpebbles · jpebbles

When the river of denial faded, I woke up to find an alcoholic who I allowed to enmesh my life. I realized I didn't have any friends and he kept me to himself. Wow.. I ran to alnon. I have been married for 14 years to an alcoholic. About 3 years ago, I got on his case and suggested that he might be drinking too...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

its very hard to get rid of an a. Mine won't go. Just flat out will.not.go. And without creating a violent scene, I'm not sure how to force it. Let me be clear that the violence would probably be mine,as I am a volatile person when I feel caged.though I heard something great from a fellow alanoner,who advi...

HockeyMom25 · HockeyMom25

I writing this here because I'm not sure if I'll ever get it out - and at this point I feel so incredibly alone. I know that I have not been a good person. I have lied. A lot. And I have not been true to myself, or others. I have not been a good wife, and I can't really tell you why. But I haven't. Maybe I'm just not a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Mahalo to my MIP sisters for the input, the honest shares in this post started by Aquamom. Honestly I've read thru it several times because of the open honesty you all brought to it. The last couple of times I read it with my heart and not my head which is where men often come from and I get to remember ge...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I was reading a book that discusses how people you come across are there for a reason. Today I got a reminder of why I left AH. There was a man in front of me at the store who smelled strongly of alcohol and he was buying more. I felt nervous and sick to my stomach. Thank you HP for another reminder of why I choo...

neshema2 · neshema2

So its been what....a week ?? a bit more??? Since one of the deepest posts I have written was submitted??? I am struggling w/ the HP thingy and you all had to spiritually "shore me up" so I could get a perspective??? Well WHO in their wildest dreams would want ME to share with them steps 2, 3, or...

Jerry F · Jerry F

That might sound like the motto of the enabler and the fixer and it carries though years of recovery and input from my sponsorship. "If I can help it" means today that I will think it thru before making whatever decision I need to make in order to get the consequence I'm looking for. Thin...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Whether your child is "a child" (when it is understood that you have full responsibility as a parent to care and provide for that child), or your child is "an adult" ( adult in years, but perhaps that child never assumed adult responsibility for him or herself?), you and that chi...

neshema2 · neshema2

Called my A brother yesterday....I had a "feeling" when he called me and left VM... So I call him and he says "haaay sissy, glad you called me back" and the convo seemed to go "ok" for a while...and then the bombshell.. Rewind just for a bit: Don't know if i told you a mon...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

is it really possible to detach from an alcoholic and still be married? How? I struggle with this. I don't believe I enable my husband by taking his consequences on his behalf. I don't lie for him,cover for him or any of that. I have over the last year been flying off the handle when he breaks promises and g...

Luiza · Luiza

Remember when I was expecting a visit from a social worker last week? Well, that didn't happen last week but today instead. The Social Worker came here to visit, she is a very nice lady. She asked daughter a few questions about what makes her nervous/sad/unhappy etc and daughter mentioned 'fighting g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just to make a note today: I had a wonderful weekend to relax & enjoy. After my day Friday. I felt the blessings of God even further. I am truly blessed & I had to share it. It resonated w/ me all weekend & even today. What a joy it is when things go my way. I am not going to let the negative spill int...

hunyboo74 · hunyboo74

I usually react to his drinking in a less than graceful way and he seems self centered as indicated in the disease of addictions. I met him and married him knowing of his addictions, but not his alcohol addiction. It's not every day to my knowledge but when I ask, he become agitated and I end up frustrate...

el-cee · el-cee

....for me means, no more giving advice, no lectures, nagging, no guilt tripping, emotional blackmail, no more tears, trying to control or fix, it means live and let live. Allowing the alcoholic the full affects of their disease. This is the kindest thing and loving thing we can do, anything else is...

orchidlife · orchidlife

I find myself struggling with the fact that I am seeking out help to deal with the situation that I never thought I would find myself in: being in a relationship with an alcoholic. I think I'm finally ready to admit that I can't continue doing this on my own, despite how strong and capable I like to think t...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So...I was with my sister today. I am trying to teach her Al anon tools when dealing with her husband. He is not alcoholic. anyway, he can really pick on my sister. today she was washing grapes for the kids to eat. He told her she was doing it wrong, and she should have wiped them off with a paper towel too. Sh...

texasgal · texasgal

AlAnon has taught many tools that I use on a daily basis that help me through the day. However I was not prepared for the serenity have been experiencing. I love this peaceful feeling. I've always lived my life in chaos. Since I started the program bits of peace and happiness started to enter my life and n...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	what do you say when you feel like there is not much to say... (Preview) I am struggling w/ the right words to say on here sometimes. I always want to say something profound & meaningful. I always wonder if I am saying something that may not be approved. I just guess I will wing it. I have been thinking about my Papa lately. He is on my mind especially this time of year. Actu...	Hoot Nanny	6	676	Nov 24, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Am I being judgmental? Or is my son's disease trying to manipulate me, again? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi - I'd like to ask for a sanity check on something that's happened several times now. My adult son is not using drugs, but he's not working any kind of program - he's a smart guy, but the disease has been mostly in control and his bad choices on financial matters and other day-to-day stuff have outweigh...	texas yankee	46	1562	Nov 24, 2014 by hotrod
	Just when I think I have it all figured out..... (Preview) So, things have taken a turn in my own mind and I really need to re-evaluate what is going on right now. I was determined to end my marriage and file for divorce right after the holidays. We're having some financial struggles right now and it's really putting things into perspective over where I will b...	andromeda	14	886	Nov 24, 2014 by pinkchip
	how did you find your sponsor (Preview) HI! Please share about finding, choosing, and approaching your sponsor. Thank you!	josiehere	9	639	Nov 24, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (Preview) Thanksgiving was a time for me to shine!Oh I was a little Martha Stewart!Everything was perfect,the house was spotless.My mom complaining she was starving, was it ready yet!My dad yelling at the kids, and he couldn't hear the parade! I cooked for 2 days!By the time we sat down to eat I was sick.Inside...	mjferg	6	655	Nov 24, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Things are destabilizing (Preview) My A never stopped drinking, but after we separated ten years ago the situation got pretty stable. He never showed up visibly drunk, and we worked out an arrangement where he saw our son twice a week. Since he's a binge-drinker, he has long periods of sobriety. He even took care of our son (who wasn't...	Mattie	6	727	Nov 24, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Opinions about drinking at home please?? (Preview) Hi all This may be a controversial topic but I just wanted to canvas some opinions. I made a decision for myself a while ago that I would not drink at all in the house. My AH is an active A but most of the time he too try's hard to not drink in the house. I suppose my motive at the time was that everytime he asked me...	Tash2	14	858	Nov 24, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Creating fantasies in my head to cope with the pain (Preview) I am starting to wonder if it is a bad thing to create fantasies in my head in order to not obsess over my AH and all our problems. I know it makes me feel better, and I admit I am kinda flirting with someone. This someone is a single man with a great job. Recently he mentioned he wants to travel and wants to know...	Newlife girl	31	883	Nov 24, 2014 by mjferg
	Wanna know if this program works? (Preview) That was a response my sponsor gave to me when I was repeating "this doesn't work for me" over and over and over....whaaaa whaaa whaa. Well that is how I found out the program works...because I gave away something I felt wasn't working for me and it worked for them and I got thanked fo...	Jerry F	7	857	Nov 24, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	Thanks for the "Take what you like" option (Preview) Hello all. I've been reading here for a while and I just want to say thanks for letting me be a fly on the wall. Being able to read and listen have been invaluable to me. I started attending a local group several months ago and just last week talked to the group leader about being my sponsor. I'm sure I'm not a...	Southerngirl	8	694	Nov 23, 2014 by Fairlee
	Step 8 (Preview) Step 8 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your ES H even if you are not up to this step. The link...	hotrod	2	233	Nov 23, 2014 by hotrod
	gathering strength (Preview) My dry ah and i are trying to work on the financials. So we are trying to work together, first mediation then we did one on one to talk financials only. He would not discuss any personal stuff About our failed marriage. He would not talk about us outside of divorce. The mediator said we had a lot of unresol...	Mirandac	16	694	Nov 23, 2014 by PP
	back for more (Preview) Yeah. Wolfie here. Aka Bernie. I know. I disappeared again. Only a few months this time. I could say it's the weird hours I work. Or that the outreach program Nancy and I are doing takes a lot of our time. Or That I bumped into some personalities again but that would be like saying other people or situation...	Wolfie	8	712	Nov 23, 2014 by Wolfie55
	ask for guidance from your higher power! Higher power (Preview) Just a reminder... Had a rough night but remembered that feelings have nothing to do with TRUTH. Feelings come and go, and change. TRUTH stands and is truth for a reason. When we feel down, we should remember that there IS a higher power, through which all things are possible. Ask for help. Someti...	giraffe13	3	4447	Nov 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	What is your higher power? (Preview) So I don't want to bash Al-Anon but one of the reasons I started attending meetings is because I was led to believe you didn't need to be religious. I have attended two different groups in my area and both are very very religiously driven. I have openly talked about this at a meeting and was told to focu...	Cooper	5	1048	Nov 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sadness too Great ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I am sad beyond belief. The grief has hit it's all time height. I know there are 5 stages of grief. I have hit the first few stages already: 1. Denial and isolation, 2. Bargaining, 3. Depression. The next stage that I am experiencing is the Anger. I am so mad at my AH. He moved back home on Monday. I...	Hullibee	44	1313	Nov 23, 2014 by PP
	it just keeps circling back (Preview) God I hate alcohol....dealt with it my entire life...even being sober myself for many years alcohol/addiction still affects my life and that sucks. Two months ago I finally had to draw the line with my 21 year old son and make him leave home. He had been stealing money and prescriptions out of my roo...	Cooper	8	800	Nov 23, 2014 by 4Horses
	Hi. Hello. Whats up? (Preview) Hi. Hello. Whats up? How's everyone doing? I got lost again but I'm back again.	Wolfie	1	397	Nov 23, 2014 by hotrod
	lookinup (Preview) Take your pick of these and everyone feel free to add some!	Breakingfree	2	355	Nov 23, 2014 by Wolfie
	what do you do for fun? (Preview) I have a daughter who is completely amused by putting her face in a plastic jug and making sounds. (she's one and a half). Play is not always a thing that comes naturally after years of coda training so I'm asking you all, what do you do for fun? I struggle with this,tend to deny it for years and years then br...	aquamom23	30	1166	Nov 23, 2014 by Wolfie
	Can't seem to let it go..... (Preview) I am so desperate to let this issue go but it just keeps creeping up on me. I need help but please do tell me to just get over it. If I could I would have a long time ago. I've been with a sober alcoholic for 6 and a half years. It was a rocky start for a lot of reasons. I was going through a divorce with another alcoh...	Nightingale	19	851	Nov 23, 2014 by PP
	I thought it was over (Preview) i'm so mad right now. Two months ago, my AH was diagnosed with mild acute pancreatitus. He had a 4 hour IV flush three days in a row. Two visits to the ER for hallucinations while he detoxed. He got his labs back a couple of days ago, and he's super-lucky. Everything back to normal, no liver damage, and...	SpiderArcana	13	587	Nov 23, 2014 by giraffe13
	The nightmare before Christmas ! (Preview) The holidays are fast approaching and yesterday I was thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas and I had a panic attack!I am realizing that I really struggle emotionally around the holidays.I usually have an underlying depression around the holidays, it is just a sadness that haunts me. And in th...	mjferg	22	915	Nov 22, 2014 by YARNCRAZY
	My daughter has cut us out of her life (Preview) Several years ago my daughter( now 24 yrs old) entered college. She soon met a young man through friends. Her life gradually spiraled out of control. We came to realize that she was willingly addicted to what we began to see was a toxic , abusive, relationship involving drugs and physical abuse. Long s...	Carolann	9	626	Nov 22, 2014 by Carolann
	My boyfriend likes to dig into my traumatic past (Preview) I have allowed him into some of my trauma, like when I lost my virginity I was 12 and I was raped, molested what ever you wish to call it. I continued to let this guy that lived in the neighborhood take advantage of me just to feel loved for a few years, when I tried to tell my Mother about it, she silenced me, pu...	Breakingfree	15	613	Nov 22, 2014 by neshema2
	my hands are cold but I will charge on... (Preview) Today is one of those days where my hands won't get warm. Anyhow, I am going to continue to type mistakes or not. So, what I am thinking is that I am so blessed w/ super-great friends who I can call on almost daily. Some people take time out of their busy schedules to talk to me, listen or even give me a ride. I a...	Hoot Nanny	3	429	Nov 22, 2014 by cloudyskies
	My How my Life Has Changed! (Preview) I am so grateful for the Al-Anon program. Since joining almost six years ago, it has been quite a journey. Six years ago I was depressed and wondering how I would ever get out of the dark place that I had entered in my life. This month, I was offered a larger apartment in my complex after being on the waiting...	Green Eyes	10	697	Nov 22, 2014 by PP
	Help needed for 28 year old daughter (Preview) I am a newbie to this site. I joined in hopes of getting some ideas on how to help my daughter. She is 28 years old and has everything going for her, a college degree, a good job, people that love her, etc.. However, she has a depression problem, which she won't discuss. And her answer is the bottle. No...	4Horses	6	578	Nov 22, 2014 by 4Horses
	my 28-year-old daughter is alcoholic to the extreme (Preview) Long story as short as I can tell it, last year this time we had a full-on intervention, had an interventionist fly in from California to where we live in NY. We ambushed her, and she finally agreed to go into a 3 month rehab in Utah. Here we are a year later and she is in her 3rd detox in Utah. This time is home...	dizbee	27	6837	Nov 22, 2014 by el-cee
	Yay...for more opportunities to practice my program...lol. (Preview) Sigh, I put in a lot of work to make sure the old place was well and truly clean and orderly, I had the few bits of damaged plaster repaired flawlessly and painted, the gardens were good and the agent said the place was great, "damage free" and asked me to go back and dust again and "remove t...	missmeliss	6	544	Nov 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	Giggling felt good today (Preview) I am learning to laugh at myself in my martial arts class. I am quickly approaching 50 and my goal is to get my black belt before then...I am on track. So I was laughing at myself, then I heard a guy in my class moaning and groaning. He is in his late 50's. He tells us about his health problems, and he also laugh...	Newlife girl	2	461	Nov 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	new to alanon (Preview) So im new to this board as well as my alanon meetings. I told my AH a few weeks ago that i was starting therapy and would be going to meetings to make me stronger. Definitely did not like the idea of it being that our town is small amd doesn't want us to be airing our dirty laundry. Just my presence there he said...	Pat916	5	722	Nov 21, 2014 by PP
	shining a light on dark places (Preview) I am feeling much better today!What a journey this has been.I feel like Bilbo Baggins leaving the comfort of the Shire going to slay the dragon!I am a hopeless romantic,by the way and I love whimsy!I realize as I face each demon from my past,painful as it is,I heal and grow.I realize I can't change the p...	mjferg	13	775	Nov 21, 2014 by el-cee
	I AM a miracle in progress. (Preview) Wonder of wonder miracle or miracles...I wouldn't be here if I wasn't a miracle. I think even my birth was a miracle. And, to top it off, I am still a miracle. God put me here to carry the message. And, I intend to do something for someone every day as I am able. You see the key to happiness is not what you have i...	Hoot Nanny	4	504	Nov 20, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Pfft!!!!! (Preview) It's sort of coming from all sides just now. But I think I'm coping OK. Excuse the fact that there is a lot of grizzling in this post. I think it's all coming from a reasonably healthy place as I become accustomed to not responding to garbage from the garbologists in my life. Mother has returned from her ho...	missmeliss	35	775	Nov 20, 2014 by Newlife girl
	This morning, aragh! (Preview) AH and I had to go to a meeting at our local council this morning, accompanied by a young official chap. There was a long wait, about an hour, before we could go in, and lots of other people were also waiting to see this particular council official. Anyway, AH and our young chap were chatting away and I wa...	milkwood	11	764	Nov 20, 2014 by milkwood
	Help, please (Preview) I am having a panicky moment here and would like some feedback. I have had a male spiritual director for many years. He is an older, gay gentlemen who has been a wonderful mentor. In the many years of my husbands addictions and into the early years of his recovery, he was jealous and very suspicious t...	PP	26	909	Nov 20, 2014 by Breakingfree
	to be judged on your foo (Preview) I know this is probably a case of qtip but it feels so real! I'm very hypersensitive of late, it's truly hideous. Anyway today I received a cloak and dagger dig on my familial background through my stbx mil through my ah. Its regarding an aunt who is a whackjob drunk coda drug abuser....how my cousins sur...	aquamom23	7	794	Nov 20, 2014 by PP
	welcoming Lillian Rebecca! (Preview) I would like to announce the birth of my granddaughter, Lillian Rebecca. She was born tonight at 9:21 weighing 6lbs 10.9 ozs. She is beautiful. Thank you God for blessing us with a healthy baby.	cloudyskies	15	684	Nov 20, 2014 by missmeliss
	Just referred son to alanon Gone full circle (Preview) Things have just gone full circle. I came to Alanon when my son started drinking as a teen. I grew up with an alcoholic dad & I am a dual program woman. I am also in AA. So my son was also raised by an alcoholic. He has the same broken picker that I had when I came to Alanon. My heart breaks as I see him goin...	katiemac	7	457	Nov 20, 2014 by katiemac
	the women of my island (Preview) orare hard headed. Over the generations, much has changed, humility has given way to ego. The island is alcoholic. Every single person living on it qualifies for alanon. I think its long been this way. Only I recall a fiesty lineage that was strong yet soft. Today I bumped into a fellow islander accide...	aquamom23	13	791	Nov 20, 2014 by aquamom23
	Wife's first birthday is Saturday (Preview) My AW will have her first sober anniversary this Saturday. It's a big day for her of course, and I am very proud of her. I want to get her a present, but I'm the most unimaginative present-giver in the world. Anybody have any ideas? Of course, any idea should cost nothing and require no work (just kiddi...	KennyFenderjazz	39	957	Nov 20, 2014 by milkwood
	Using my tools (Preview) As I mentioned a little while ago, a friend told me some things that suggested my A has started a downward slide, after many years of stability. He arrived tonight to pick up our child, and he was plastered. And he looked really terrible - disheveled, slurring, pants unzipped. This has never happened...	Mattie	15	609	Nov 19, 2014 by neshema2
	Living with an Alcoholic (Preview) When the river of denial faded, I woke up to find an alcoholic who I allowed to enmesh my life. I realized I didn't have any friends and he kept me to himself. Wow.. I ran to alnon. I have been married for 14 years to an alcoholic. About 3 years ago, I got on his case and suggested that he might be drinking too...	jpebbles	10	837	Nov 18, 2014 by bud
	wife,don't fail me. (Preview) its very hard to get rid of an a. Mine won't go. Just flat out will.not.go. And without creating a violent scene, I'm not sure how to force it. Let me be clear that the violence would probably be mine,as I am a volatile person when I feel caged.though I heard something great from a fellow alanoner,who advi...	aquamom23	17	941	Nov 18, 2014 by bud
	Feeling alone, need to get this off my chest (Preview) I writing this here because I'm not sure if I'll ever get it out - and at this point I feel so incredibly alone. I know that I have not been a good person. I have lied. A lot. And I have not been true to myself, or others. I have not been a good wife, and I can't really tell you why. But I haven't. Maybe I'm just not a...	HockeyMom25	15	679	Nov 18, 2014 by bud
	Married women past or present reaction (Preview) Mahalo to my MIP sisters for the input, the honest shares in this post started by Aquamom. Honestly I've read thru it several times because of the open honesty you all brought to it. The last couple of times I read it with my heart and not my head which is where men often come from and I get to remember ge...	Jerry F	8	573	Nov 18, 2014 by cloudyskies
	HP puts people in your life for a reason (Preview) I was reading a book that discusses how people you come across are there for a reason. Today I got a reminder of why I left AH. There was a man in front of me at the store who smelled strongly of alcohol and he was buying more. I felt nervous and sick to my stomach. Thank you HP for another reminder of why I choo...	Newlife girl	5	543	Nov 18, 2014 by cloudyskies
	How did this happen??? last week I am thinking I am agnostic---This week I am the defense for HP???? (Preview) So its been what....a week ?? a bit more??? Since one of the deepest posts I have written was submitted??? I am struggling w/ the HP thingy and you all had to spiritually "shore me up" so I could get a perspective??? Well WHO in their wildest dreams would want ME to share with them steps 2, 3, or...	neshema2	7	432	Nov 18, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Not if I can help it... (Preview) That might sound like the motto of the enabler and the fixer and it carries though years of recovery and input from my sponsorship. "If I can help it" means today that I will think it thru before making whatever decision I need to make in order to get the consequence I'm looking for. Thin...	Jerry F	10	1053	Nov 18, 2014 by el-cee
	Do you think it's "different" when the A is your adult child? (Preview) Whether your child is "a child" (when it is understood that you have full responsibility as a parent to care and provide for that child), or your child is "an adult" ( adult in years, but perhaps that child never assumed adult responsibility for him or herself?), you and that chi...	lgnutah	7	499	Nov 18, 2014 by Jerry F
	is he going to speed up his death??? is this REAL??? either way, step one, here I come!!! (Preview) Called my A brother yesterday....I had a "feeling" when he called me and left VM... So I call him and he says "haaay sissy, glad you called me back" and the convo seemed to go "ok" for a while...and then the bombshell.. Rewind just for a bit: Don't know if i told you a mon...	neshema2	13	613	Nov 17, 2014 by hotrod
	married women past or present (Preview) is it really possible to detach from an alcoholic and still be married? How? I struggle with this. I don't believe I enable my husband by taking his consequences on his behalf. I don't lie for him,cover for him or any of that. I have over the last year been flying off the handle when he breaks promises and g...	aquamom23	31	1310	Nov 17, 2014 by Green Eyes
	A bit nervous. (Preview) Remember when I was expecting a visit from a social worker last week? Well, that didn't happen last week but today instead. The Social Worker came here to visit, she is a very nice lady. She asked daughter a few questions about what makes her nervous/sad/unhappy etc and daughter mentioned 'fighting g...	Luiza	7	658	Nov 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	weekend: time to relax! (Preview) Just to make a note today: I had a wonderful weekend to relax & enjoy. After my day Friday. I felt the blessings of God even further. I am truly blessed & I had to share it. It resonated w/ me all weekend & even today. What a joy it is when things go my way. I am not going to let the negative spill int...	Hoot Nanny	2	265	Nov 17, 2014 by hotrod
	Shutting down when he drinks (Preview) I usually react to his drinking in a less than graceful way and he seems self centered as indicated in the disease of addictions. I met him and married him knowing of his addictions, but not his alcohol addiction. It's not every day to my knowledge but when I ask, he become agitated and I end up frustrate...	hunyboo74	6	740	Nov 17, 2014 by hunyboo74
	Detaching with love (Preview) ....for me means, no more giving advice, no lectures, nagging, no guilt tripping, emotional blackmail, no more tears, trying to control or fix, it means live and let live. Allowing the alcoholic the full affects of their disease. This is the kindest thing and loving thing we can do, anything else is...	el-cee	25	922	Nov 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	New Here - admitting I need help (Preview) I find myself struggling with the fact that I am seeking out help to deal with the situation that I never thought I would find myself in: being in a relationship with an alcoholic. I think I'm finally ready to admit that I can't continue doing this on my own, despite how strong and capable I like to think t...	orchidlife	11	670	Nov 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Al anon gives you tools to use in life...sometimes it has nothing to do with alcohol (Preview) So...I was with my sister today. I am trying to teach her Al anon tools when dealing with her husband. He is not alcoholic. anyway, he can really pick on my sister. today she was washing grapes for the kids to eat. He told her she was doing it wrong, and she should have wiped them off with a paper towel too. Sh...	Newlife girl	6	548	Nov 17, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	new experience (Preview) AlAnon has taught many tools that I use on a daily basis that help me through the day. However I was not prepared for the serenity have been experiencing. I love this peaceful feeling. I've always lived my life in chaos. Since I started the program bits of peace and happiness started to enter my life and n...	texasgal	4	280	Nov 17, 2014 by milkwood
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.