Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Mattie · Mattie

For reasons I won't go into, Thanksgiving was always going to be a huge challenge this year - there's another big tragedy going on on the side. But then you may remember I was worried about my ex-AH's downhill slide. He showed up for our big dinner and I could tell he had been drinking. He was much loude...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I had a weird moment today. It isn't al-anon but it's how I am applying al-anon to my life, I hope that's OK. I've expressed here before the fact that I have a gambling addiction. It went postal in my late teens and early 20's and then I went to gamblers anonymous a few times and learned how to arrest it. It wa...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Would appreciate ESH on sticking with boundaries in unclear situations, or choosing to overlook boundaries due to lack of certainty. The next to last time my AH fell off the wagon, I told him I would not stay in the house with him if he drank again, because he turns into a mean drunk to me. My AH's priest al...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi - In the past I gave my A an ultimatum about drinking, prior to alanon. Today we are going for a lovely dinner with family where almost everyone will be drinking except me. I have given it up more than 20 years ago. I see alcohol as a destructive force however I guess some people can be social drinker...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

For many, Thanksgiving is a joyous holiday. For me, and others, it is dreaded because of Tyanksgivings of the past and how the alcoholic uses it as yet another excuse to drink. I made it through the day and am thankful for that. After spending the night away, I came home. I told the AW I was only spendi...

neshema2 · neshema2

I get back spasms (most likely due to the beatings and the anxiety /ptsd that followed) anyway, I can "turn" wrong and i feel something like "grab" and muscles in my lower back seize up.....this attack is one of the worst since years.....pain is unrelenting...I have meds for i...

milkwood · milkwood

Happy Thanksgiving

lgnutah · lgnutah

Our unemployed, divorced, alcoholic, past (we think) cocaine abusing, presently prescription drug abusing daughter lives a hundred miles away. She has a roomate who is A and a drug addict. A married older man supports her financially. To give you an idea of the emotional roller coaster we have be...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

My daughter is home this weekend for Thanksgiving. She told me some really sad things about her roomate and her ex boyfriend. Her roommate started college right after her dad was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident. Her cousin also committed suicide before she left. How awful. But how strong she is to...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

First and foremost HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! It has been a wild month .. I do not know if I am coming or going. This is weird to say .. I'm divorced however I'm not divorced legally if my XAH dropped dead tomorrow we would be married, no divorce decree has been signed. I also celebrated another birthday! XA...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I was reading back to see when I was single a year ago, what I was doing for Thanksgiving and Christmas and since I have been on MIP the last 3 plus years it is easy to read back here as if I was journaling and track me. I was up north with my ex in-laws and exAH to see my youngest for dinner, which she is now ba...

mjferg · mjferg

I am feeling sad and stressed this thanksgiving.It just kind of hit me today!Besides ending my relationship,I have other things going on in my life.This year is completely different from previous years.It is just my youngest daughter and I this year.Oh, I have 3 other kids,they are grown,and have k...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello everyone-- It's been a long time since I've posted, although I come to these boards and learn from all of you each time I do. I wanted to share how grateful I am to have found this site (thank you John); which led me to online meetings, which led me to a sponsor who has helped me immensely, which led me...

MooseWork · MooseWork

Dear all, My wife is in rehab at the moment and it is hard. I was the only one working in our house, and now I have adopted the role of single parent to 3 kids. Life inside our home has been typical alcoholic hell for years now. I was very excited when she entered rehab, it was voluntary and a true first step...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I had been kidding myself for the last 2 years. She would get better, then worse. Had a few breaking points and what I thought were breakthroughs. This past Sunday my AW and I went to breakfast. She told me that she had been to the doctor and the doctor had asked her to come back for another blood test th...

luv123 · luv123

The ism- I have heard : ISM "incredibly sick mind, I separate myself (i.e. isolate-think I am unique/better or less than), I seak misery/martyrdom" Anyone have any more?

aquamom23 · aquamom23

are truly none of my business. Having been an inventory taker forever, only now its guided, I have tended to probe another's mind many times,always trying to understand, analysing and weighing,probing some more. Great skill for journalism,absolutely crap skill for interpersonal relationship...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a bit numb and a bit sad and a bit sorry for myself and at the same time im fuming. This drama and chaos is not welcome in my life. I never invited it. I feel like moving away to an island, no kidding. I dont like being a mother right now. Who says this is what weve got to put up with just because we gave birth a lo...

tpotterf · tpotterf

This is the time of year we are to give thanks for people in our lives. Although I do not know any of you personally, I wanted to post this sincere thanks for your wisdom, time and kindness. In times of great duress and sadness, I was blessed to come here and have contact with some caring people who gave me...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Far out. One of the main reasons I was so determined to stay in this town, right now, was so that my child could finish her final year of primary school with her class mates and do graduation etc. It is NOT easy sharing a room and a bed with my kid, she is restless, she snores, she is ridiculously flatulent, s...

Kath F · Kath F

He is talking about continued therapy, but says everyone there says they hate AA. He wont say much about detox or what we can do together after therapy. I am so nervous, I feel sick.

PP · PP

As many of you know, we had a home flood about 3 weeks ago, destroying lots and causing us to make makeshift bedrooms in other parts of our home. We live in a small home with 4 adults, 2 cats and an 85 pound dog whom I have lovingly nicknamed TRex. There really is stuff everywhere and we are walking on bare c...

lostandbroken · lostandbroken

Hello I am new here, I feel alone and I've never attended a meeting so all this is completely new to me. I've decided I can no longer deal with this on my own and just need to vent to someone who actually understands! I've been married for 6 yrs to an alcoholic and I'm at my wits end. He cannot function without...

el-cee · el-cee

My son has been doing great recently, a job, home with girlfriend, still drinking but no drama for a while until this weekend. Drama came again and it seems so unfair. I want a break, I got a break, he got a break, we all did, from the drama but while alcohol is still there alive and kicking the drama is only a...

Luiza · Luiza

Hi, I haven't post much lately. Been busy making my life the way I want and recovering. My daughter has been up and down. She was unhappy today because she spent Sat with her dad and grandparents, slept over and had to come in the morning. I have no complaints about ex, he has been having contact with her, l...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Sometimes things happen to us that totally rock our world. A week ago I had an incident happen that took a third of one finger and the tip of another. As I sit here typing using alternate digits, I reflect on how this loss will effect the rest of my life. I'm right handed and the injury is to my right hand, mos...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

This is from one of my blogs. Thought ya might find something of use in it. :) I wonder sometimes how you will remember me, after I'm gone. Certainly I do not plan to leave this world anytime soon. I'd like to think I'll be here for a while yet, but I am close to 60. I'm a heavy smoker. I've already had one hea...

willowtree · willowtree

I go to an alanon book study every wednesday evening and we focus on one alanon book and all share with eachother. Similar to alanon meetings but a little different. Well, there is a guy there who talks a lot about his childhood trauma and it is difficult because I think he needs a therapist more than alan...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Is it possible to have 3 or more good days in a row? Nothing is really getting me down. I did go to a funeral service today & I cried but found myself in my favorite coffee shop shooting the breeze. The owner is turning out to be a pretty good friend. I hope she finds success in everything she does. I will b...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I was walking by the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting "13, 13, 13..." The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked in to see what was going on. Someone poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting, "...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I was reading some of my old posts, back in 2012. I didn't see any from 2013. I don't think I was here at all that year. I was busy, getting older and maybe wiser. In September of 2012, I was having a conversation on a popular social media site. I had left the recovery house I was working in, I had a job but I want...

johnny · johnny

good afternoon, i wonder if someone can give me any pointers... a bit of background: so i have been dating a 32 year old girl for the last 5 months and she is coming to 5 years sober, which is great. she underwent a 6 month rehab course and then has undergone the 12 step programme, regularly attends a couple...

John · John

Without a cigarette! Next month is my 56th birthday, my 25th sober anniversary, and the holidays... what better gift could I give myself than stop smoking which has been reducing my quality of life for the past few years? Keep me in your prayers as this is so very important I do at this time. Just 7 day...

SunshineGirl · SunshineGirl

A little thing that happened on Sunday made me sit up and realise how utterly changed I am now. AH's son had arranged to drop by at 11am to visit, I had other plans and was going out. The big a-ha Al-anon moment was that AH had decided to drink all night and get drunk as a skunk! So staggered into bed (we h...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling w/ the right words to say on here sometimes. I always want to say something profound & meaningful. I always wonder if I am saying something that may not be approved. I just guess I will wing it. I have been thinking about my Papa lately. He is on my mind especially this time of year. Actu...

texas yankee · texas yankee

Hi - I'd like to ask for a sanity check on something that's happened several times now. My adult son is not using drugs, but he's not working any kind of program - he's a smart guy, but the disease has been mostly in control and his bad choices on financial matters and other day-to-day stuff have outweigh...

andromeda · andromeda

So, things have taken a turn in my own mind and I really need to re-evaluate what is going on right now. I was determined to end my marriage and file for divorce right after the holidays. We're having some financial struggles right now and it's really putting things into perspective over where I will b...

josiehere · josiehere

HI! Please share about finding, choosing, and approaching your sponsor. Thank you!

mjferg · mjferg

Thanksgiving was a time for me to shine!Oh I was a little Martha Stewart!Everything was perfect,the house was spotless.My mom complaining she was starving, was it ready yet!My dad yelling at the kids, and he couldn't hear the parade! I cooked for 2 days!By the time we sat down to eat I was sick.Inside...

Mattie · Mattie

My A never stopped drinking, but after we separated ten years ago the situation got pretty stable. He never showed up visibly drunk, and we worked out an arrangement where he saw our son twice a week. Since he's a binge-drinker, he has long periods of sobriety. He even took care of our son (who wasn't...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi all This may be a controversial topic but I just wanted to canvas some opinions. I made a decision for myself a while ago that I would not drink at all in the house. My AH is an active A but most of the time he too try's hard to not drink in the house. I suppose my motive at the time was that everytime he asked me...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am starting to wonder if it is a bad thing to create fantasies in my head in order to not obsess over my AH and all our problems. I know it makes me feel better, and I admit I am kinda flirting with someone. This someone is a single man with a great job. Recently he mentioned he wants to travel and wants to know...

Jerry F · Jerry F

That was a response my sponsor gave to me when I was repeating "this doesn't work for me" over and over and over....whaaaa whaaa whaa. Well that is how I found out the program works...because I gave away something I felt wasn't working for me and it worked for them and I got thanked fo...

Southerngirl · Southerngirl

Hello all. I've been reading here for a while and I just want to say thanks for letting me be a fly on the wall. Being able to read and listen have been invaluable to me. I started attending a local group several months ago and just last week talked to the group leader about being my sponsor. I'm sure I'm not a...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 8 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your ES H even if you are not up to this step. The link...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah and i are trying to work on the financials. So we are trying to work together, first mediation then we did one on one to talk financials only. He would not discuss any personal stuff About our failed marriage. He would not talk about us outside of divorce. The mediator said we had a lot of unresol...

Wolfie · Wolfie

Yeah. Wolfie here. Aka Bernie. I know. I disappeared again. Only a few months this time. I could say it's the weird hours I work. Or that the outreach program Nancy and I are doing takes a lot of our time. Or That I bumped into some personalities again but that would be like saying other people or situation...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Just a reminder... Had a rough night but remembered that *feelings* have nothing to do with TRUTH. Feelings come and go, and change. TRUTH stands and is truth for a reason. When we feel down, we should remember that there IS a higher power, through which all things are possible. Ask for help. Someti...

Cooper · Cooper

So I don't want to bash Al-Anon but one of the reasons I started attending meetings is because I was led to believe you didn't need to be religious. I have attended two different groups in my area and both are very very religiously driven. I have openly talked about this at a meeting and was told to focu...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I am sad beyond belief. The grief has hit it's all time height. I know there are 5 stages of grief. I have hit the first few stages already: 1. Denial and isolation, 2. Bargaining, 3. Depression. The next stage that I am experiencing is the Anger. I am so mad at my AH. He moved back home on Monday. I...

Cooper · Cooper

God I hate alcohol....dealt with it my entire life...even being sober myself for many years alcohol/addiction still affects my life and that sucks. Two months ago I finally had to draw the line with my 21 year old son and make him leave home. He had been stealing money and prescriptions out of my roo...

Wolfie · Wolfie

Hi. Hello. Whats up? How's everyone doing? I got lost again but I'm back again.

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Take your pick of these and everyone feel free to add some!

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I have a daughter who is completely amused by putting her face in a plastic jug and making sounds. (she's one and a half). Play is not always a thing that comes naturally after years of coda training so I'm asking you all, what do you do for fun? I struggle with this,tend to deny it for years and years then br...

Nightingale · Nightingale

I am so desperate to let this issue go but it just keeps creeping up on me. I need help but please do tell me to just get over it. If I could I would have a long time ago. I've been with a sober alcoholic for 6 and a half years. It was a rocky start for a lot of reasons. I was going through a divorce with another alcoh...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

i'm so mad right now. Two months ago, my AH was diagnosed with mild acute pancreatitus. He had a 4 hour IV flush three days in a row. Two visits to the ER for hallucinations while he detoxed. He got his labs back a couple of days ago, and he's super-lucky. Everything back to normal, no liver damage, and...

mjferg · mjferg

The holidays are fast approaching and yesterday I was thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas and I had a panic attack!I am realizing that I really struggle emotionally around the holidays.I usually have an underlying depression around the holidays, it is just a sadness that haunts me. And in th...

Carolann · Carolann

Several years ago my daughter( now 24 yrs old) entered college. She soon met a young man through friends. Her life gradually spiraled out of control. We came to realize that she was willingly addicted to what we began to see was a toxic , abusive, relationship involving drugs and physical abuse. Long s...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have allowed him into some of my trauma, like when I lost my virginity I was 12 and I was raped, molested what ever you wish to call it. I continued to let this guy that lived in the neighborhood take advantage of me just to feel loved for a few years, when I tried to tell my Mother about it, she silenced me, pu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is one of those days where my hands won't get warm. Anyhow, I am going to continue to type mistakes or not. So, what I am thinking is that I am so blessed w/ super-great friends who I can call on almost daily. Some people take time out of their busy schedules to talk to me, listen or even give me a ride. I a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Made it through Thanksgiving (Preview) For reasons I won't go into, Thanksgiving was always going to be a huge challenge this year - there's another big tragedy going on on the side. But then you may remember I was worried about my ex-AH's downhill slide. He showed up for our big dinner and I could tell he had been drinking. He was much loude...	Mattie	2	637	Nov 28, 2014 by neshema2
	the gambler (Preview) I had a weird moment today. It isn't al-anon but it's how I am applying al-anon to my life, I hope that's OK. I've expressed here before the fact that I have a gambling addiction. It went postal in my late teens and early 20's and then I went to gamblers anonymous a few times and learned how to arrest it. It wa...	missmeliss	20	1101	Nov 28, 2014 by el-cee
	Sticking to boundaries when things are unclear (Preview) Would appreciate ESH on sticking with boundaries in unclear situations, or choosing to overlook boundaries due to lack of certainty. The next to last time my AH fell off the wagon, I told him I would not stay in the house with him if he drank again, because he turns into a mean drunk to me. My AH's priest al...	oceanpine	12	788	Nov 28, 2014 by pinkchip
	I think this is progress (Preview) Hi - In the past I gave my A an ultimatum about drinking, prior to alanon. Today we are going for a lovely dinner with family where almost everyone will be drinking except me. I have given it up more than 20 years ago. I see alcohol as a destructive force however I guess some people can be social drinker...	Lyne	5	693	Nov 28, 2014 by giraffe13
	I am thankful today is over (Preview) For many, Thanksgiving is a joyous holiday. For me, and others, it is dreaded because of Tyanksgivings of the past and how the alcoholic uses it as yet another excuse to drink. I made it through the day and am thankful for that. After spending the night away, I came home. I told the AW I was only spendi...	hdftby100	4	859	Nov 28, 2014 by Debilyn
	NEED some alanon hugs (Preview) I get back spasms (most likely due to the beatings and the anxiety /ptsd that followed) anyway, I can "turn" wrong and i feel something like "grab" and muscles in my lower back seize up.....this attack is one of the worst since years.....pain is unrelenting...I have meds for i...	neshema2	22	1089	Nov 28, 2014 by DavidG
	It feels good to say…. (Preview) Happy Thanksgiving	milkwood	7	604	Nov 27, 2014 by cloudyskies
	34 yr old A daughter keeps us on an emotional roller coaster and we want to get off (Preview) Our unemployed, divorced, alcoholic, past (we think) cocaine abusing, presently prescription drug abusing daughter lives a hundred miles away. She has a roomate who is A and a drug addict. A married older man supports her financially. To give you an idea of the emotional roller coaster we have be...	lgnutah	10	910	Nov 27, 2014 by neshema2
	Feeling so sad...yet thankful at the same time (Preview) My daughter is home this weekend for Thanksgiving. She told me some really sad things about her roomate and her ex boyfriend. Her roommate started college right after her dad was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident. Her cousin also committed suicide before she left. How awful. But how strong she is to...	Newlife girl	5	1074	Nov 27, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Very busy .. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! (Preview) First and foremost HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! It has been a wild month .. I do not know if I am coming or going. This is weird to say .. I'm divorced however I'm not divorced legally if my XAH dropped dead tomorrow we would be married, no divorce decree has been signed. I also celebrated another birthday! XA...	SerenityRUS	4	735	Nov 27, 2014 by PP
	What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving season??? (Preview) I was reading back to see when I was single a year ago, what I was doing for Thanksgiving and Christmas and since I have been on MIP the last 3 plus years it is easy to read back here as if I was journaling and track me. I was up north with my ex in-laws and exAH to see my youngest for dinner, which she is now ba...	Breakingfree	10	916	Nov 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sometimes doing the right thing is hard! (Preview) I am feeling sad and stressed this thanksgiving.It just kind of hit me today!Besides ending my relationship,I have other things going on in my life.This year is completely different from previous years.It is just my youngest daughter and I this year.Oh, I have 3 other kids,they are grown,and have k...	mjferg	8	820	Nov 27, 2014 by pinkchip
	Happy Thanksgiving MIP and it's been a while.... (Preview) Hello everyone-- It's been a long time since I've posted, although I come to these boards and learn from all of you each time I do. I wanted to share how grateful I am to have found this site (thank you John); which led me to online meetings, which led me to a sponsor who has helped me immensely, which led me...	yanksfan51	11	739	Nov 27, 2014 by pinkchip
	Having trouble being an emotional support to wife in rehab (Preview) Dear all, My wife is in rehab at the moment and it is hard. I was the only one working in our house, and now I have adopted the role of single parent to 3 kids. Life inside our home has been typical alcoholic hell for years now. I was very excited when she entered rehab, it was voluntary and a true first step...	MooseWork	17	845	Nov 27, 2014 by Newlife girl
	I just left... (Preview) I had been kidding myself for the last 2 years. She would get better, then worse. Had a few breaking points and what I thought were breakthroughs. This past Sunday my AW and I went to breakfast. She told me that she had been to the doctor and the doctor had asked her to come back for another blood test th...	hdftby100	11	1102	Nov 27, 2014 by tiredtonite
	ACRONYMs for ISM (Preview) The ism- I have heard : ISM "incredibly sick mind, I separate myself (i.e. isolate-think I am unique/better or less than), I seak misery/martyrdom" Anyone have any more?	luv123	19	3958	Nov 26, 2014 by cloudyskies
	the mysterious workings of addicted minds (Preview) are truly none of my business. Having been an inventory taker forever, only now its guided, I have tended to probe another's mind many times,always trying to understand, analysing and weighing,probing some more. Great skill for journalism,absolutely crap skill for interpersonal relationship...	aquamom23	4	678	Nov 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	feeling sorry for myself (Preview) Im a bit numb and a bit sad and a bit sorry for myself and at the same time im fuming. This drama and chaos is not welcome in my life. I never invited it. I feel like moving away to an island, no kidding. I dont like being a mother right now. Who says this is what weve got to put up with just because we gave birth a lo...	el-cee	8	858	Nov 26, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Thankful for this group full of loving wise people. (Preview) This is the time of year we are to give thanks for people in our lives. Although I do not know any of you personally, I wanted to post this sincere thanks for your wisdom, time and kindness. In times of great duress and sadness, I was blessed to come here and have contact with some caring people who gave me...	tpotterf	8	623	Nov 26, 2014 by Breakingfree
	I didn't prepare for this. (Preview) Far out. One of the main reasons I was so determined to stay in this town, right now, was so that my child could finish her final year of primary school with her class mates and do graduation etc. It is NOT easy sharing a room and a bed with my kid, she is restless, she snores, she is ridiculously flatulent, s...	missmeliss	22	1190	Nov 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	Scared. My husband coming home after five days in rehab (Preview) He is talking about continued therapy, but says everyone there says they hate AA. He wont say much about detox or what we can do together after therapy. I am so nervous, I feel sick.	Kath F	7	836	Nov 26, 2014 by PP
	Plopped into chaos and I feel content (Preview) As many of you know, we had a home flood about 3 weeks ago, destroying lots and causing us to make makeshift bedrooms in other parts of our home. We live in a small home with 4 adults, 2 cats and an 85 pound dog whom I have lovingly nicknamed TRex. There really is stuff everywhere and we are walking on bare c...	PP	17	954	Nov 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	new to this (Preview) Hello I am new here, I feel alone and I've never attended a meeting so all this is completely new to me. I've decided I can no longer deal with this on my own and just need to vent to someone who actually understands! I've been married for 6 yrs to an alcoholic and I'm at my wits end. He cannot function without...	lostandbroken	14	978	Nov 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	another crisis (Preview) My son has been doing great recently, a job, home with girlfriend, still drinking but no drama for a while until this weekend. Drama came again and it seems so unfair. I want a break, I got a break, he got a break, we all did, from the drama but while alcohol is still there alive and kicking the drama is only a...	el-cee	19	1158	Nov 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	Not a very good Sunday. (Preview) Hi, I haven't post much lately. Been busy making my life the way I want and recovering. My daughter has been up and down. She was unhappy today because she spent Sat with her dad and grandparents, slept over and had to come in the morning. I have no complaints about ex, he has been having contact with her, l...	Luiza	6	947	Nov 25, 2014 by Newlife girl
	life changing event (Preview) Sometimes things happen to us that totally rock our world. A week ago I had an incident happen that took a third of one finger and the tip of another. As I sit here typing using alternate digits, I reflect on how this loss will effect the rest of my life. I'm right handed and the injury is to my right hand, mos...	likemyheart	14	839	Nov 25, 2014 by Newlife girl
	How will you remember me? (Preview) This is from one of my blogs. Thought ya might find something of use in it. :) I wonder sometimes how you will remember me, after I'm gone. Certainly I do not plan to leave this world anytime soon. I'd like to think I'll be here for a while yet, but I am close to 60. I'm a heavy smoker. I've already had one hea...	Wolfie55	4	3065	Nov 25, 2014 by andromeda
	When people bring outside stuff to alanon (Preview) I go to an alanon book study every wednesday evening and we focus on one alanon book and all share with eachother. Similar to alanon meetings but a little different. Well, there is a guy there who talks a lot about his childhood trauma and it is difficult because I think he needs a therapist more than alan...	willowtree	13	776	Nov 25, 2014 by Wolfie55
	I just have a minute... (Preview) Is it possible to have 3 or more good days in a row? Nothing is really getting me down. I did go to a funeral service today & I cried but found myself in my favorite coffee shop shooting the breeze. The owner is turning out to be a pretty good friend. I hope she finds success in everything she does. I will b...	Hoot Nanny	3	531	Nov 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	How I learned to Mind My Own Business! (Preview) I was walking by the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting "13, 13, 13..." The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked in to see what was going on. Someone poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting, "...	Breakingfree	15	1126	Nov 25, 2014 by milkwood
	Older and Maybe Wiser (Preview) I was reading some of my old posts, back in 2012. I didn't see any from 2013. I don't think I was here at all that year. I was busy, getting older and maybe wiser. In September of 2012, I was having a conversation on a popular social media site. I had left the recovery house I was working in, I had a job but I want...	Wolfie55	4	747	Nov 25, 2014 by milkwood
	Problems with dating a girl in AA (Preview) good afternoon, i wonder if someone can give me any pointers... a bit of background: so i have been dating a 32 year old girl for the last 5 months and she is coming to 5 years sober, which is great. she underwent a 6 month rehab course and then has undergone the 12 step programme, regularly attends a couple...	johnny	13	883	Nov 25, 2014 by neshema2
	7 Days.... (Preview) Without a cigarette! Next month is my 56th birthday, my 25th sober anniversary, and the holidays... what better gift could I give myself than stop smoking which has been reducing my quality of life for the past few years? Keep me in your prayers as this is so very important I do at this time. Just 7 day...	John	16	921	Nov 25, 2014 by neshema2
	Thank you Al-anon (Preview) A little thing that happened on Sunday made me sit up and realise how utterly changed I am now. AH's son had arranged to drop by at 11am to visit, I had other plans and was going out. The big a-ha Al-anon moment was that AH had decided to drink all night and get drunk as a skunk! So staggered into bed (we h...	SunshineGirl	6	790	Nov 25, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	what do you say when you feel like there is not much to say... (Preview) I am struggling w/ the right words to say on here sometimes. I always want to say something profound & meaningful. I always wonder if I am saying something that may not be approved. I just guess I will wing it. I have been thinking about my Papa lately. He is on my mind especially this time of year. Actu...	Hoot Nanny	6	811	Nov 24, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Am I being judgmental? Or is my son's disease trying to manipulate me, again? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi - I'd like to ask for a sanity check on something that's happened several times now. My adult son is not using drugs, but he's not working any kind of program - he's a smart guy, but the disease has been mostly in control and his bad choices on financial matters and other day-to-day stuff have outweigh...	texas yankee	46	1771	Nov 24, 2014 by hotrod
	Just when I think I have it all figured out..... (Preview) So, things have taken a turn in my own mind and I really need to re-evaluate what is going on right now. I was determined to end my marriage and file for divorce right after the holidays. We're having some financial struggles right now and it's really putting things into perspective over where I will b...	andromeda	14	1025	Nov 24, 2014 by pinkchip
	how did you find your sponsor (Preview) HI! Please share about finding, choosing, and approaching your sponsor. Thank you!	josiehere	9	787	Nov 24, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (Preview) Thanksgiving was a time for me to shine!Oh I was a little Martha Stewart!Everything was perfect,the house was spotless.My mom complaining she was starving, was it ready yet!My dad yelling at the kids, and he couldn't hear the parade! I cooked for 2 days!By the time we sat down to eat I was sick.Inside...	mjferg	6	777	Nov 24, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Things are destabilizing (Preview) My A never stopped drinking, but after we separated ten years ago the situation got pretty stable. He never showed up visibly drunk, and we worked out an arrangement where he saw our son twice a week. Since he's a binge-drinker, he has long periods of sobriety. He even took care of our son (who wasn't...	Mattie	6	851	Nov 24, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Opinions about drinking at home please?? (Preview) Hi all This may be a controversial topic but I just wanted to canvas some opinions. I made a decision for myself a while ago that I would not drink at all in the house. My AH is an active A but most of the time he too try's hard to not drink in the house. I suppose my motive at the time was that everytime he asked me...	Tash2	14	983	Nov 24, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Creating fantasies in my head to cope with the pain (Preview) I am starting to wonder if it is a bad thing to create fantasies in my head in order to not obsess over my AH and all our problems. I know it makes me feel better, and I admit I am kinda flirting with someone. This someone is a single man with a great job. Recently he mentioned he wants to travel and wants to know...	Newlife girl	31	1018	Nov 24, 2014 by mjferg
	Wanna know if this program works? (Preview) That was a response my sponsor gave to me when I was repeating "this doesn't work for me" over and over and over....whaaaa whaaa whaa. Well that is how I found out the program works...because I gave away something I felt wasn't working for me and it worked for them and I got thanked fo...	Jerry F	7	1038	Nov 24, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	Thanks for the "Take what you like" option (Preview) Hello all. I've been reading here for a while and I just want to say thanks for letting me be a fly on the wall. Being able to read and listen have been invaluable to me. I started attending a local group several months ago and just last week talked to the group leader about being my sponsor. I'm sure I'm not a...	Southerngirl	8	828	Nov 23, 2014 by Fairlee
	Step 8 (Preview) Step 8 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your ES H even if you are not up to this step. The link...	hotrod	2	346	Nov 23, 2014 by hotrod
	gathering strength (Preview) My dry ah and i are trying to work on the financials. So we are trying to work together, first mediation then we did one on one to talk financials only. He would not discuss any personal stuff About our failed marriage. He would not talk about us outside of divorce. The mediator said we had a lot of unresol...	Mirandac	16	843	Nov 23, 2014 by PP
	back for more (Preview) Yeah. Wolfie here. Aka Bernie. I know. I disappeared again. Only a few months this time. I could say it's the weird hours I work. Or that the outreach program Nancy and I are doing takes a lot of our time. Or That I bumped into some personalities again but that would be like saying other people or situation...	Wolfie	8	831	Nov 23, 2014 by Wolfie55
	ask for guidance from your higher power! Higher power (Preview) Just a reminder... Had a rough night but remembered that feelings have nothing to do with TRUTH. Feelings come and go, and change. TRUTH stands and is truth for a reason. When we feel down, we should remember that there IS a higher power, through which all things are possible. Ask for help. Someti...	giraffe13	3	5476	Nov 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	What is your higher power? (Preview) So I don't want to bash Al-Anon but one of the reasons I started attending meetings is because I was led to believe you didn't need to be religious. I have attended two different groups in my area and both are very very religiously driven. I have openly talked about this at a meeting and was told to focu...	Cooper	5	1199	Nov 23, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sadness too Great ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I am sad beyond belief. The grief has hit it's all time height. I know there are 5 stages of grief. I have hit the first few stages already: 1. Denial and isolation, 2. Bargaining, 3. Depression. The next stage that I am experiencing is the Anger. I am so mad at my AH. He moved back home on Monday. I...	Hullibee	44	1510	Nov 23, 2014 by PP
	it just keeps circling back (Preview) God I hate alcohol....dealt with it my entire life...even being sober myself for many years alcohol/addiction still affects my life and that sucks. Two months ago I finally had to draw the line with my 21 year old son and make him leave home. He had been stealing money and prescriptions out of my roo...	Cooper	8	937	Nov 23, 2014 by 4Horses
	Hi. Hello. Whats up? (Preview) Hi. Hello. Whats up? How's everyone doing? I got lost again but I'm back again.	Wolfie	1	523	Nov 23, 2014 by hotrod
	lookinup (Preview) Take your pick of these and everyone feel free to add some!	Breakingfree	2	520	Nov 23, 2014 by Wolfie
	what do you do for fun? (Preview) I have a daughter who is completely amused by putting her face in a plastic jug and making sounds. (she's one and a half). Play is not always a thing that comes naturally after years of coda training so I'm asking you all, what do you do for fun? I struggle with this,tend to deny it for years and years then br...	aquamom23	30	1314	Nov 23, 2014 by Wolfie
	Can't seem to let it go..... (Preview) I am so desperate to let this issue go but it just keeps creeping up on me. I need help but please do tell me to just get over it. If I could I would have a long time ago. I've been with a sober alcoholic for 6 and a half years. It was a rocky start for a lot of reasons. I was going through a divorce with another alcoh...	Nightingale	19	983	Nov 23, 2014 by PP
	I thought it was over (Preview) i'm so mad right now. Two months ago, my AH was diagnosed with mild acute pancreatitus. He had a 4 hour IV flush three days in a row. Two visits to the ER for hallucinations while he detoxed. He got his labs back a couple of days ago, and he's super-lucky. Everything back to normal, no liver damage, and...	SpiderArcana	13	718	Nov 23, 2014 by giraffe13
	The nightmare before Christmas ! (Preview) The holidays are fast approaching and yesterday I was thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas and I had a panic attack!I am realizing that I really struggle emotionally around the holidays.I usually have an underlying depression around the holidays, it is just a sadness that haunts me. And in th...	mjferg	22	1067	Nov 22, 2014 by YARNCRAZY
	My daughter has cut us out of her life (Preview) Several years ago my daughter( now 24 yrs old) entered college. She soon met a young man through friends. Her life gradually spiraled out of control. We came to realize that she was willingly addicted to what we began to see was a toxic , abusive, relationship involving drugs and physical abuse. Long s...	Carolann	9	758	Nov 22, 2014 by Carolann
	My boyfriend likes to dig into my traumatic past (Preview) I have allowed him into some of my trauma, like when I lost my virginity I was 12 and I was raped, molested what ever you wish to call it. I continued to let this guy that lived in the neighborhood take advantage of me just to feel loved for a few years, when I tried to tell my Mother about it, she silenced me, pu...	Breakingfree	15	726	Nov 22, 2014 by neshema2
	my hands are cold but I will charge on... (Preview) Today is one of those days where my hands won't get warm. Anyhow, I am going to continue to type mistakes or not. So, what I am thinking is that I am so blessed w/ super-great friends who I can call on almost daily. Some people take time out of their busy schedules to talk to me, listen or even give me a ride. I a...	Hoot Nanny	3	569	Nov 22, 2014 by cloudyskies
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.