Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Kethry · Kethry

I'm relatively new to the life of dealing with an A. I would appreciate any help in handling a delicate situation. Just some background, my b/f is an A, we've been together for 6 months, living together for about 1.5 months. Outside of his drinking our relationship is pretty good....

babz · babz

I am posing this question because I'd like some viewpoints. I learned that my husband has a gambling addiction in Feb. 06 and confronted him. He came clean -- and since then he says he doesn't want gambling in his life. I don't think he does - it just makes him feel like shit. But, yo...

anon_user · anon_user

What an odyssey! I joined this board some months ago, started going to Al-Anon and learned so much. After two months of reading here, I left my A BF of 3 years which lead to him getting sober… I went back for 3-4 months of sobriety and happy times, before he tossed me out… and this time I told him I would n...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Hi everyone, I just wanted to update and let you guys know that the house finally sold, it closed last Thursday and we actually walked away with a little money. I paid off a credit card and then wired him $600 which cost me $70 to do and that was his half, the last cent I will ever give him. Spo...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))) With regards to my recent post: MEN IN AL-ANON I would like to offer my apologies, I thought I was doing something that felt right to me. In pointing out how It can be hard for males to approach Al-Anon. I never thought I was doing any harm. I now know I na...

HereIam · HereIam

Of myself. I mean, what would anyone expect of children raised by alcoholics/insane and violent people? We did the best we could to survive. It has taken a lifetime to figure out a lot of things and I give myself and my siblings a lot of credit for raising ourselves (to a certain degree, of c...

CJ · CJ

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie It is an eye opening book. I got it used on Amazon for $4. It was reprinted in 1992, but the symptoms and solutions contained are no less than amazing. I was awestruck by the depth of analysis that I can apply to myself. Friends, if you have not already, read t...

Paulm · Paulm

I am an alcoholic. I need your help. 1. Don't lecture me, blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry at me for having TB or diabetes. Alcoholism is a disease, too. Don't pour out my liquor; it's a waste because I can always find ways of getting more.> Don't let me provoke your anger. I...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

And I think... I'm sorry you love me too!

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It was actually in response to his statment that he was a good dad. I said that he really needed to step back and take a long hard look at the reality. He didn't agree. Luckily whenever he calls it's a payphone and we can only talk for so long otherwise it might get nasty. I really...

jaja · jaja

This may sound dumb, but I really don't know how I am controlling! I'm a co-dependant from way back - all my life, I guess. Just before my A left for his motel room, we were yelling and he told me that I always try to control things. We were yelling too much for him to say just how I controlled and I've be...

CJ · CJ

I posted this to one of our friends, and thought, perhaps, it could be help to more of us. -take what you want, leave the rest- trust a little, and have confidence to sit down with him, voices low and non-threatening, and discuss your feelings on the finances. i think it very wise to divvy th...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Real Love is not based on attachment, but on altruism. In this case, your compassion will remain as a humane response to suffering as long as beings continue to suffer. -His Holiness the Dalai Lama In my meditation today, it discussed the reality that all of us are children of God, and when we w...

Messy · Messy

I found this today and wanted to share... All 'da love ~ Messy

*********************************************************************

marmare · marmare

I posted this on my blog last night......I have realized that I am enabling on of my sons. I have asked him to leave my house for now and will talk when emotions have calmed down. He is spending his weekends drinking and smoking pot...I think that is all he is doing.....I will say that people...

Gailey · Gailey

I have been reading alot of posts lately but have not been posting alot. Sometimes it is hard to relate when I read mostly posts from spouses of A's. I would like to encourage those lurkers out there...especially if you are a mom or dad to get in here and participate. You will notice that whe...

acjmom · acjmom

Good Morning all, Well...it was a long night. I miss my A so much, I know at this point in my life I can not be with my A and since hes been gone I have realized the whole past two years of my life have been nothing but a big fat lie...I dont know now why I held on as long as I did...maybe so he...

curious · curious

I know that being in Alanon is suppose to bring peace to th soul. At times it helps. Lately, however I don't feel so peaceful. I hit rock bottom a few months ago when my husband od on a mixture of pills, beat my 19 year old daughter, and abandoned us 800 miles from home. Sin...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((Hello MIP Group))) I have recently been struggling with Power and Control. Just when I think I have found a "groove" of letting go and Letting God something else pokes it's little head out and shows me something else I have to work on. Its no mystery to me that I have a big problem with l...

hudsond · hudsond

One thing about my A is the huge all or nothing view of things. This weekend he seemed to go way overboard on 12 stepping people. I know this is part of the program and I want him to do what he has to do to stay sober, but to an "earth" person looking in it's a little unnerving. He tried to ta...

jdansmom · jdansmom

I've been trying to work through the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover Plan and I posted this to their forum tonight -- thought ya'll would have good insight too -- them from a money perspective and ya'll from an al-anon/aa perspective... Thanks... Well it's been Murph...

Rita G · Rita G

We had a post last week that talked about advice, I said I prefer to say "suggestions". I found this card at an Area Assembly that I went to a few months ago. It is CAL (Conference Approved Literature) for Alateen, but I found that it really applied to me even though I am way older than a teenag...

debilyn · debilyn

Ok this is weird. All the animals go nuts in the morning when I trudge thru the 3 feet of mud and 3 miles to my barn...NO I am not exagerating. well maybe a little. (c: First i feed the horses. Then the goats and llamas, then I am in the walkway in the barn on the other side is Fan...

kissers · kissers

I haven't spoken to my ex for a year. I moved and he had no idea of my whereabouts. He is friends with the police departments, Homeland Security, NSA, etc. He has many, many connections. I thought he was gone until last night. A long time ago he gave me a cell phone and when I severed contact with him h...

david62 · david62

Hi ((((Family))) I got one of those "junk" mail adds from MSN today and the title of it, "Does Your Date Drink too Much?", caught my eye....so I read it. I was surprised! It actually had some really great advice on how to deal with another person's drinking "problem" and even mentions AA and Alanon. Just...

Cindy · Cindy

Good morning. This is my first post on this site. I have been out of touch with Al Anon for years, but find myself in the place of needing a safe place again. I am feeling very out of control and am having difficulty dealing with my daughter, and I question h...

Messy · Messy

Well... I have had some GREAT couple days. Though, I am afraid as soon as I say it, write it... whatever... that things will turn sour again. My 'A' has come to grips with the fact that at this point in our relationship he can not move back into the house until he makes some major change...

maresie2 · maresie2

As many of you know I had really big issues this year because the a's mother (who is 71) married some man she knew from high school. She had met him at a high school reunion and they married literally within weeks of the reunion. The A's mother went from a widow (who never dated anyone) to...

twinkie · twinkie

I am really greiving today. I thought everything was going OK, that my A was sincere and was working his program or had the desire to. I told him what I needed but I know that didn't necessarily mean that was what he needed or desired. He just told me the other night that he didn't want t...

kerry5 · kerry5

Hi Everyone, In the slight change you wonder where i have been and not in the room so much. I want you to know that i am not leaving alanon. There are some things i need to work on for myself and need a little distance to do it. It is time for me to really get into recovery something i have never done....

acjmom · acjmom

I have read a little bit about this med but am wondering if any of you have ever been around someone taking it...does it work, what happens, how long are they on it, how much does it cost...is it worth it? Are there other meds that will help an A with withdraw? Rhonda

carosie · carosie

(((roomies)))) So much has happened since my last post. Some of you may have noticed I haven't been online for awhile. Hubby was in the hospital. He picked up an intestinal flu bug and was vomitting so forcefully that it caused a varcose vein in his esophagus(a result of drinking) to rupture. You don...

CJ · CJ

We found out my wife left rehab after 1 day. She was given an Alcohol Assessment and found not to be an alcoholic. Her mother called the facility when she found this out (2 weeks later), and asked them if they knew Alicia was a psychology major and that she had been given assessments in the...

alora_red · alora_red

I will try to be as quick as I can with this..... Last Week - AH took off on a Wednesday from work to get drunk and high on crack (unusual because payday is Friday, but he asked his boss for it early). Called at 11:30pm as usual to say he wants to come (Usually I yell a little and let him come home). This...

alora_red · alora_red

Can you buy Alanon books at a regular bookstore? I was wondering if any of you had some good Alanon books you could reccomend for a beginner. I plan to go later this week a purchase a couple, but since I don't really know what the best ones are I thought I would ask here :) Thanks A Bunch

maresie2 · maresie2

Today is the 5 year anniversary of when my mother died very suddenly. The A at that time was totally not there for me on any level. I did not have the space then to acknowledge it. That's pretty key for him not to be able to be "there" on any level at key events. When I've been s...

Becky1 · Becky1

I am working the alanon stuff, coming here, going to chat. Taking care of myself. Detaching from my AH. But I am lonely as hell. I am busy with friends, my daughter, my house, my craft projects, Christmas baking, wrapping, making, buying. I am just so overwhelmed by grief toda...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((friends))))))), Today my mind is doing a battle, trust me I am trying my very best to let go an let God...not always the easiest thing to do.....Chuck entered a long term rehab program, he called yesterday going thru 3 phases of rehab....I think that is a good thing for him, can only pray h...

barisax · barisax

Having played this game from almost every field position from behind home to left field, not to mention watched it from the dugout, the bleachers, and on TV... all I can say is, it's just as difficult to love a recovering A as it is to love an active one. Maybe more so. Why? For one thing, drinking is ju...

ollie · ollie

Hi folks, Well A has just spent a week with me,salvation army centre found him a flat,but due to heating problems ,bed etc he asked could he stay here,i told him yes but no drinking ,this was my only boundry. H e was back two days and the whole senario started...

doxie · doxie

Just wanted to pop in and say HI! to everyone and Merry Christmas. I wanted to let you know that I am swamped right now with school and planning to move and my job. But that I am ok. I will have more time to be here after the 18th which is the Holiday Break. I am planning on moving the week between Christmas...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

From today's Language of Letting Go: Letting Go of Shame Many of us were victimized, sometimes more than once. We may have been physically abused, sexually abused, or exploited by the addictions of another. Understand that if another person has abused us, it is not cause for us to feel shame. T...

sharky · sharky

Hi, I've been lurking on this board for about a week or two, and I think this is the place for me. My husband is an A, and I just threw him out of the house today. I'm not sure if it's permanent or temporary, but I'm pretty sure I did the right thing. I'm finally starting to do what's right for me and our...

bev · bev

hi family,i havent posted in awhile,but i have a question,how do i know if my hp is listening to my prayers, alot of you know of what i am dealing with,my AH drinking is getting worse,he drinks whenever he is off work,and when he is drinking he gets very nasty,and mean he yells at my 16 month old granddau...

acjmom · acjmom

I DID IT...I DID IT!!!! I paid the rent AND elect. bill all by myself!!!! LOL That might not seem like such a big deal to some of you...but the money was one of the biggest reasons I stayed with my A so long, I was so scared I wouldnt be able to do it by myself....didnt trust myself to be a gr...

gardengal · gardengal

It has taken me a very long time, to detach, and start taking care of myself. As we all know being taken care of, by someone else is out of the question. By doing simple things such as even showering regularly became a chore in itself, but you would make sure your children and everyone else were taken care o...

afmom03 · afmom03

   Well....those

meagain · meagain

I have not been on this site for a long time. It is so good to be back. I have a son that will be 32 in June and I think he has a problem with booze. I don't think-I know! the other morning he called me by mistake at 4.30am. I was so scared to pick up the phone-maybe a terrible accident--he was soooo sorry he called...

afmom03 · afmom03

Hi my firends!! Oh boy! This one is really going to get some people fired up! <LOL> That didn't sound good...but it's the best way I could think to write it right now. My A' fell asleep AGAIN last night with a cigarette in bed!! I have been on the couch since Thanksgiving. Well...my A's got a f...

hudsond · hudsond

I have been feeling very "off kilter" lately! Depressed, but not sure why!! There are so many things in my life that haven't gone as I thought they would--life never does, does it?? Things right now are pretty good, but I seem to be having a hard time with that!!! My AH has been sobe...

alora_red · alora_red

I have yet to make it to a f2f meeting. I was hoping to go to one this morning but I have other obligations I can't get out of, so I will have to wait until next week. I have been reading alot of the posts here on the board, and I have to admit I find some the alanon suggestions difficult.....such as detaching...

barisax · barisax

I thought I'd make this a separate post... I alluded to playing many positions with regard to alcoholism. It's time I qualify myself a bit here. Alcoholics in my life: 1. Father (deceased) 2. Uncle (sober) 3. Mother in law (deceased) 4. Sister in law (status unknown) 5. Another sister in law (on disabi...

afmom03 · afmom03

Well...good-early morning friends!!! It is after 2am, I'm on the computer instead of sleeping and I'm suppose to wake at 5am. Not so this morning. I have to type very quietly because my A' is in the bedroom awake, and I'm just down the hall from him in our computer room. I am going to do something later thi...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I have decided to quit my part time job. I work as a bartender two nights a week. Use to work there full time for about five years. Been back about a year now. But I hate it. Have learned so much about ism that it turns my stomach to look at these people in the bar. Same ole people, same ole problems, same ole dru...

debilyn · debilyn

I don't use the word "should." To me it is trying to control someone, which never works. If I want to say something, I might say, "I would invite you to maybe try..." My experience is.... Have you tried...... I respect you Carol, however I feel MIP has taught me more about alanon that anything el...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My A called today after a week of no communication so I told him the house was closing today. He wanted to know if he could come stay for a couple of days for his son's birthday. I said I didn't want him staying. In reality I don't want him to come at all. I really would prefer not to...

HadEnuff · HadEnuff

This is a huge issue for me and I'm wondering how others deal with it. I've told him many times that I'm not interested in sex when he's drinking and so therefore, it's not a common occurance, because the only time he seems to really want it is during his drinking hours. He totally doesn't ge...

JillyJo · JillyJo

I'm married to an A for many years and he is now sober for about 9 years. I went to Al Anon meetings for years before he sobered up and continue to go now and then but not as much as I used to. Although he has been sober for many years, he basically acts out the same way he did before he sobere...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been thinking, I believe that what I have thought to be love is actually obsession. Now that my obsession is away from me and on the streets I feel a little sorry for him but..... Now I think how can I "LOVE" him and yet not feel so bad that he's in this position? I am starting to wonder n...

twinkie · twinkie

I have been thinking very rigidly lately - black and white - stay or go? I'm learning and trying to figure out what my needs are and what is acceptable behavior (boundaries) and be true to myself. I've been reading alot of co-dependency - I fit every category - I am in Al...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Need advice (Preview) I'm relatively new to the life of dealing with an A. I would appreciate any help in handling a delicate situation. Just some background, my b/f is an A, we've been together for 6 months, living together for about 1.5 months. Outside of his drinking our relationship is pretty good....	Kethry	10	418	Dec 13, 2006 by carolinagirl
	I Broke the "Family Secret" law..... (Preview) I am posing this question because I'd like some viewpoints. I learned that my husband has a gambling addiction in Feb. 06 and confronted him. He came clean -- and since then he says he doesn't want gambling in his life. I don't think he does - it just makes him feel like shit. But, yo...	babz	7	517	Dec 13, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	Domestic Violence (Preview) What an odyssey! I joined this board some months ago, started going to Al-Anon and learned so much. After two months of reading here, I left my A BF of 3 years which lead to him getting sober… I went back for 3-4 months of sobriety and happy times, before he tossed me out… and this time I told him I would n...	anon_user	10	481	Dec 13, 2006 by Becky1
	UPDATE....House Sold....Moving on... (Preview) Hi everyone, I just wanted to update and let you guys know that the house finally sold, it closed last Thursday and we actually walked away with a little money. I paid off a credit card and then wired him $600 which cost me $70 to do and that was his half, the last cent I will ever give him. Spo...	carolinagirl	4	375	Dec 13, 2006 by carolinagirl
	MAKING AMENDS (Preview) ((((((((((((((((ROOMIES)))))))))))))))) With regards to my recent post: MEN IN AL-ANON I would like to offer my apologies, I thought I was doing something that felt right to me. In pointing out how It can be hard for males to approach Al-Anon. I never thought I was doing any harm. I now know I na...	ally	10	580	Dec 13, 2006 by ally
	Forgiveness (Preview) Of myself. I mean, what would anyone expect of children raised by alcoholics/insane and violent people? We did the best we could to survive. It has taken a lifetime to figure out a lot of things and I give myself and my siblings a lot of credit for raising ourselves (to a certain degree, of c...	HereIam	4	254	Dec 13, 2006 by abbyal
	Codependent No More (Preview) *Codependent No More* by Melody Beattie It is an eye opening book. I got it used on Amazon for $4. It was reprinted in 1992, but the symptoms and solutions contained are no less than amazing. I was awestruck by the depth of analysis that I can apply to myself. Friends, if you have not already, read t...	CJ	12	541	Dec 13, 2006 by marmare
	A letter from the Alcoholic!!! Please read (Preview) I am an alcoholic. I need your help. 1. Don't lecture me, blame or scold me. You wouldn't be angry at me for having TB or diabetes. Alcoholism is a disease, too. Don't pour out my liquor; it's a waste because I can always find ways of getting more.> Don't let me provoke your anger. I...	Paulm	5	773	Dec 13, 2006 by ShelBell
	He says I'm sorry - I love you (Preview) And I think... I'm sorry you love me too!	carolinagirl	4	464	Dec 13, 2006 by carolinagirl
	I don't think what I said was really mean... (Preview) It was actually in response to his statment that he was a good dad. I said that he really needed to step back and take a long hard look at the reality. He didn't agree. Luckily whenever he calls it's a payphone and we can only talk for so long otherwise it might get nasty. I really...	carolinagirl	6	436	Dec 13, 2006 by CJ
	About being controlling (Preview) This may sound dumb, but I really don't know how I am controlling! I'm a co-dependant from way back - all my life, I guess. Just before my A left for his motel room, we were yelling and he told me that I always try to control things. We were yelling too much for him to say just how I controlled and I've be...	jaja	3	338	Dec 13, 2006 by CJ
	finance 101 (Preview) I posted this to one of our friends, and thought, perhaps, it could be help to more of us. -take what you want, leave the rest- trust a little, and have confidence to sit down with him, voices low and non-threatening, and discuss your feelings on the finances. i think it very wise to divvy th...	CJ	13	644	Dec 12, 2006 by CJ
	Buddist thoughts on love (Preview) Real Love is not based on attachment, but on altruism. In this case, your compassion will remain as a humane response to suffering as long as beings continue to suffer. -His Holiness the Dalai Lama In my meditation today, it discussed the reality that all of us are children of God, and when we w...	Tiger2006	6	489	Dec 12, 2006 by Tiger2006
	To all..... (Preview) I found this today and wanted to share... All 'da love ~ Messy *********************************************************************	Messy	0	200	Dec 12, 2006 by Messy
	Now for my son...new boundaries to be set.... (Preview) I posted this on my blog last night......I have realized that I am enabling on of my sons. I have asked him to leave my house for now and will talk when emotions have calmed down. He is spending his weekends drinking and smoking pot...I think that is all he is doing.....I will say that people...	marmare	4	355	Dec 12, 2006 by hudsond
	Parents of A's....especially moms!!!! (Preview) I have been reading alot of posts lately but have not been posting alot. Sometimes it is hard to relate when I read mostly posts from spouses of A's. I would like to encourage those lurkers out there...especially if you are a mom or dad to get in here and participate. You will notice that whe...	Gailey	5	413	Dec 12, 2006 by bobump
	Why cant they see? (Preview) Good Morning all, Well...it was a long night. I miss my A so much, I know at this point in my life I can not be with my A and since hes been gone I have realized the whole past two years of my life have been nothing but a big fat lie...I dont know now why I held on as long as I did...maybe so he...	acjmom	5	341	Dec 12, 2006 by Messy
	hurting--still (Preview) I know that being in Alanon is suppose to bring peace to th soul. At times it helps. Lately, however I don't feel so peaceful. I hit rock bottom a few months ago when my husband od on a mixture of pills, beat my 19 year old daughter, and abandoned us 800 miles from home. Sin...	curious	8	365	Dec 12, 2006 by curious
	Money,Power, and Control... how to let go? (Preview) (((Hello MIP Group))) I have recently been struggling with Power and Control. Just when I think I have found a "groove" of letting go and Letting God something else pokes it's little head out and shows me something else I have to work on. Its no mystery to me that I have a big problem with l...	twinmom2	9	398	Dec 12, 2006 by twinmom2
	Overboard (Preview) One thing about my A is the huge all or nothing view of things. This weekend he seemed to go way overboard on 12 stepping people. I know this is part of the program and I want him to do what he has to do to stay sober, but to an "earth" person looking in it's a little unnerving. He tried to ta...	hudsond	7	392	Dec 12, 2006 by hudsond
	To Enable or Not to Enable... (Preview) I've been trying to work through the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover Plan and I posted this to their forum tonight -- thought ya'll would have good insight too -- them from a money perspective and ya'll from an al-anon/aa perspective... Thanks... Well it's been Murph...	jdansmom	4	494	Dec 12, 2006 by debilyn
	Alateen Do's & Don'ts (Preview) We had a post last week that talked about advice, I said I prefer to say "suggestions". I found this card at an Area Assembly that I went to a few months ago. It is CAL (Conference Approved Literature) for Alateen, but I found that it really applied to me even though I am way older than a teenag...	Rita G	3	3413	Dec 12, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	For peoples who like my true Eden stories.... (Preview) Ok this is weird. All the animals go nuts in the morning when I trudge thru the 3 feet of mud and 3 miles to my barn...NO I am not exagerating. well maybe a little. (c: First i feed the horses. Then the goats and llamas, then I am in the walkway in the barn on the other side is Fan...	debilyn	7	308	Dec 12, 2006 by ZiggyDoodles
	my ex is stalking me (Preview) I haven't spoken to my ex for a year. I moved and he had no idea of my whereabouts. He is friends with the police departments, Homeland Security, NSA, etc. He has many, many connections. I thought he was gone until last night. A long time ago he gave me a cell phone and when I severed contact with him h...	kissers	7	504	Dec 11, 2006 by Jill
	Does Your Date Drink Too Much? (Preview) Hi ((((Family))) I got one of those "junk" mail adds from MSN today and the title of it, "Does Your Date Drink too Much?", caught my eye....so I read it. I was surprised! It actually had some really great advice on how to deal with another person's drinking "problem" and even mentions AA and Alanon. Just...	david62	0	288	Dec 11, 2006 by david62
	20 year old daughter acting out (Preview) Good morning. This is my first post on this site. I have been out of touch with Al Anon for years, but find myself in the place of needing a safe place again. I am feeling very out of control and am having difficulty dealing with my daughter, and I question h...	Cindy	10	560	Dec 11, 2006 by Cindy
	A Good thing... I hope (Preview) Well... I have had some GREAT couple days. Though, I am afraid as soon as I say it, write it... whatever... that things will turn sour again. My 'A' has come to grips with the fact that at this point in our relationship he can not move back into the house until he makes some major change...	Messy	1	305	Dec 11, 2006 by CJ
	The A's mother (Preview) As many of you know I had really big issues this year because the a's mother (who is 71) married some man she knew from high school. She had met him at a high school reunion and they married literally within weeks of the reunion. The A's mother went from a widow (who never dated anyone) to...	maresie2	1	373	Dec 11, 2006 by hudsond
	I need some help today... (Preview) I am really greiving today. I thought everything was going OK, that my A was sincere and was working his program or had the desire to. I told him what I needed but I know that didn't necessarily mean that was what he needed or desired. He just told me the other night that he didn't want t...	twinkie	6	346	Dec 11, 2006 by twinmom2
	Not leaving (Preview) Hi Everyone, In the slight change you wonder where i have been and not in the room so much. I want you to know that i am not leaving alanon. There are some things i need to work on for myself and need a little distance to do it. It is time for me to really get into recovery something i have never done....	kerry5	9	458	Dec 11, 2006 by carosie
	Question about Antabuse (Preview) I have read a little bit about this med but am wondering if any of you have ever been around someone taking it...does it work, what happens, how long are they on it, how much does it cost...is it worth it? Are there other meds that will help an A with withdraw? Rhonda	acjmom	5	587	Dec 11, 2006 by abbyal
	so much has happened (Preview) (((roomies)))) So much has happened since my last post. Some of you may have noticed I haven't been online for awhile. Hubby was in the hospital. He picked up an intestinal flu bug and was vomitting so forcefully that it caused a varcose vein in his esophagus(a result of drinking) to rupture. You don...	carosie	4	364	Dec 11, 2006 by Christy
	Grief, Guilt, Guile, Gall (Preview) We found out my wife left rehab after 1 day. She was given an Alcohol Assessment and found not to be an alcoholic. Her mother called the facility when she found this out (2 weeks later), and asked them if they knew Alicia was a psychology major and that she had been given assessments in the...	CJ	11	530	Dec 10, 2006 by Peggy7
	Ok, NOW I REALLY need HELP! (Preview) I will try to be as quick as I can with this..... Last Week - AH took off on a Wednesday from work to get drunk and high on crack (unusual because payday is Friday, but he asked his boss for it early). Called at 11:30pm as usual to say he wants to come (Usually I yell a little and let him come home). This...	alora_red	6	330	Dec 10, 2006 by CJ
	Alanon Book Reccomendations? (Preview) Can you buy Alanon books at a regular bookstore? I was wondering if any of you had some good Alanon books you could reccomend for a beginner. I plan to go later this week a purchase a couple, but since I don't really know what the best ones are I thought I would ask here :) Thanks A Bunch	alora_red	4	632	Dec 10, 2006 by abbyal
	5 year anniversary (Preview) Today is the 5 year anniversary of when my mother died very suddenly. The A at that time was totally not there for me on any level. I did not have the space then to acknowledge it. That's pretty key for him not to be able to be "there" on any level at key events. When I've been s...	maresie2	6	413	Dec 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	wHAT IS WRONG WITH ME (Preview) I am working the alanon stuff, coming here, going to chat. Taking care of myself. Detaching from my AH. But I am lonely as hell. I am busy with friends, my daughter, my house, my craft projects, Christmas baking, wrapping, making, buying. I am just so overwhelmed by grief toda...	Becky1	7	295	Dec 10, 2006 by Andrea12
	Today is a Struggle (Preview) (((((((((friends))))))), Today my mind is doing a battle, trust me I am trying my very best to let go an let God...not always the easiest thing to do.....Chuck entered a long term rehab program, he called yesterday going thru 3 phases of rehab....I think that is a good thing for him, can only pray h...	Andrea12	6	490	Dec 10, 2006 by drucilla06
	Loving The Recovering Alcoholic (Preview) Having played this game from almost every field position from behind home to left field, not to mention watched it from the dugout, the bleachers, and on TV... all I can say is, it's just as difficult to love a recovering A as it is to love an active one. Maybe more so. Why? For one thing, drinking is ju...	barisax	8	4065	Dec 10, 2006 by drucilla06
	TOO MUCH TO ASK I SUPPOSE (Preview) Hi folks, Well A has just spent a week with me,salvation army centre found him a flat,but due to heating problems ,bed etc he asked could he stay here,i told him yes but no drinking ,this was my only boundry. H e was back two days and the whole senario started...	ollie	4	347	Dec 10, 2006 by ollie
	A little bit gone (Preview) Just wanted to pop in and say HI! to everyone and Merry Christmas. I wanted to let you know that I am swamped right now with school and planning to move and my job. But that I am ok. I will have more time to be here after the 18th which is the Holiday Break. I am planning on moving the week between Christmas...	doxie	4	244	Dec 10, 2006 by mel123
	Letting go of (my) shame (Preview) From today's Language of Letting Go: Letting Go of Shame Many of us were victimized, sometimes more than once. We may have been physically abused, sexually abused, or exploited by the addictions of another. Understand that if another person has abused us, it is not cause for us to feel shame. T...	Tiger2006	5	363	Dec 10, 2006 by CJ
	Newbie - Intro & ? (Preview) Hi, I've been lurking on this board for about a week or two, and I think this is the place for me. My husband is an A, and I just threw him out of the house today. I'm not sure if it's permanent or temporary, but I'm pretty sure I did the right thing. I'm finally starting to do what's right for me and our...	sharky	2	295	Dec 9, 2006 by nmike
	how do i know if my hp is answering me (Preview) hi family,i havent posted in awhile,but i have a question,how do i know if my hp is listening to my prayers, alot of you know of what i am dealing with,my AH drinking is getting worse,he drinks whenever he is off work,and when he is drinking he gets very nasty,and mean he yells at my 16 month old granddau...	bev	8	400	Dec 9, 2006 by bev
	Good news and some questions (Preview) I DID IT...I DID IT!!!! I paid the rent AND elect. bill all by myself!!!! LOL That might not seem like such a big deal to some of you...but the money was one of the biggest reasons I stayed with my A so long, I was so scared I wouldnt be able to do it by myself....didnt trust myself to be a gr...	acjmom	7	317	Dec 9, 2006 by acjmom
	WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO IMPROVE YOURSELF? (Preview) It has taken me a very long time, to detach, and start taking care of myself. As we all know being taken care of, by someone else is out of the question. By doing simple things such as even showering regularly became a chore in itself, but you would make sure your children and everyone else were taken care o...	gardengal	4	504	Dec 9, 2006 by CJ
	What A Whippin'! You Were Right! GRRRR! (Preview)    Well....those	afmom03	1	349	Dec 9, 2006 by rtexas
	my son (Preview) I have not been on this site for a long time. It is so good to be back. I have a son that will be 32 in June and I think he has a problem with booze. I don't think-I know! the other morning he called me by mistake at 4.30am. I was so scared to pick up the phone-maybe a terrible accident--he was soooo sorry he called...	meagain	3	282	Dec 9, 2006 by Diva
	Now If I Only Live To Tell About It!! (Preview) Hi my firends!! Oh boy! This one is really going to get some people fired up! <LOL> That didn't sound good...but it's the best way I could think to write it right now. My A' fell asleep AGAIN last night with a cigarette in bed!! I have been on the couch since Thanksgiving. Well...my A's got a f...	afmom03	5	312	Dec 8, 2006 by megan
	Confused about where I am supposed to be--long (Preview) I have been feeling very "off kilter" lately! Depressed, but not sure why!! There are so many things in my life that haven't gone as I thought they would--life never does, does it?? Things right now are pretty good, but I seem to be having a hard time with that!!! My AH has been sobe...	hudsond	7	419	Dec 8, 2006 by Andrea12
	Need to ask some questions... (Preview) I have yet to make it to a f2f meeting. I was hoping to go to one this morning but I have other obligations I can't get out of, so I will have to wait until next week. I have been reading alot of the posts here on the board, and I have to admit I find some the alanon suggestions difficult.....such as detaching...	alora_red	8	520	Dec 8, 2006 by maresie2
	Surrounded! (Preview) I thought I'd make this a separate post... I alluded to playing many positions with regard to alcoholism. It's time I qualify myself a bit here. Alcoholics in my life: 1. Father (deceased) 2. Uncle (sober) 3. Mother in law (deceased) 4. Sister in law (status unknown) 5. Another sister in law (on disabi...	barisax	2	268	Dec 8, 2006 by just me
	To ALL Who've Read my Posts..... (Preview) Well...good-early morning friends!!! It is after 2am, I'm on the computer instead of sleeping and I'm suppose to wake at 5am. Not so this morning. I have to type very quietly because my A' is in the bedroom awake, and I'm just down the hall from him in our computer room. I am going to do something later thi...	afmom03	5	320	Dec 8, 2006 by Rita G
	Quitting my Job!! (Preview) I have decided to quit my part time job. I work as a bartender two nights a week. Use to work there full time for about five years. Been back about a year now. But I hate it. Have learned so much about ism that it turns my stomach to look at these people in the bar. Same ole people, same ole problems, same ole dru...	sisdragonfly1957	1	269	Dec 8, 2006 by maresie2
	serenity and advice (Preview) I don't use the word "should." To me it is trying to control someone, which never works. If I want to say something, I might say, "I would invite you to maybe try..." My experience is.... Have you tried...... I respect you Carol, however I feel MIP has taught me more about alanon that anything el...	debilyn	4	430	Dec 8, 2006 by debilyn
	Would like some ideas on this! (Preview) My A called today after a week of no communication so I told him the house was closing today. He wanted to know if he could come stay for a couple of days for his son's birthday. I said I didn't want him staying. In reality I don't want him to come at all. I really would prefer not to...	carolinagirl	5	391	Dec 7, 2006 by mama_nz
	What about Sex in Detaching? (Preview) This is a huge issue for me and I'm wondering how others deal with it. I've told him many times that I'm not interested in sex when he's drinking and so therefore, it's not a common occurance, because the only time he seems to really want it is during his drinking hours. He totally doesn't ge...	HadEnuff	18	1236	Dec 7, 2006 by abbyal
	alcoholism and personality types (Preview) I'm married to an A for many years and he is now sober for about 9 years. I went to Al Anon meetings for years before he sobered up and continue to go now and then but not as much as I used to. Although he has been sober for many years, he basically acts out the same way he did before he sobere...	JillyJo	15	5103	Dec 7, 2006 by snoopy
	Can someone please explain the difference between love and obsession? (Preview) I have been thinking, I believe that what I have thought to be love is actually obsession. Now that my obsession is away from me and on the streets I feel a little sorry for him but..... Now I think how can I "LOVE" him and yet not feel so bad that he's in this position? I am starting to wonder n...	carolinagirl	10	467	Dec 7, 2006 by twinkie
	Trying to make a healthy decision (Preview) I have been thinking very rigidly lately - black and white - stay or go? I'm learning and trying to figure out what my needs are and what is acceptable behavior (boundaries) and be true to myself. I've been reading alot of co-dependency - I fit every category - I am in Al...	twinkie	4	245	Dec 7, 2006 by hudsond
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.