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Beyond the promise of Al-Anon
(Preview)
To me, the promise is that I will be OK regardless of another person's behavior. The benefits are even more. Tonight I see AlAnon and the miracle of detaching with love has allowed me to push aside the ism and let me live with my love for my brother. He died tonight. I didn't always think of it as detaching w...
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Jill
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14
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729
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strange dream
(Preview)
In my dream last night I was hanging out with some friends (people from back in school in my teenager years), we went to this bar and each of us ordered a few mini bottle drinks, then we got into my truck (I don't even own a truck) and drove off. I was drinking and driving. Then I decided to pull over and let my f...
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buick23
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6
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588
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Back online
(Preview)
I finally made it back online after over a week without electricity following Hurricane Gustav. Fortunately no damage to my house - just tons of limbs and debris. But the heat was beginning to get to me!!! My SAB moved back a couple of weeks ago and things have been going very well. He even tolerated...
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round3
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2
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322
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New?.. I guess.
(Preview)
I suppose I'm not entirely 'new' to this whole al-anon stuff. My boyfriend has been an alcoholic well before we met, I know this for a fact. Alcoholism is a thing that runs in his family, or so he has told me.. I recently had to have an abortion because we are not ready for such a huge responsibility just yet...
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Beckatitis
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4
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397
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I think I am growing up, after 40 years of life...
(Preview)
Well the AH has been home now for about 2 weeks. Things have gone pretty good. I am grateful to have him home in that since we lost our "baby" (our dog) it has been really tough. She died on my birthday (8/26/08) and it has been difficult on our whole family. I wasn't sure how my AH was going to cope...
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wildthang86
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1
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414
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Seeing Things From The Other Side
(Preview)
My friend's husband is an ex drug addict. They are currently separated and he came for a visit. I was able to view the behaviors of both the Alanoner and the Alcoholic. It gave me a totally different perspective. She was incredibly mean to him and was right in his face reprimanding him for every mistake...
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kissers
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4
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595
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the holidays
(Preview)
The holidays are approaching in a month or two. I am in the USA and for those in the UK I'd remind you we have Thanksgiving here which is really a 4 day holiday. Christmas is not as long as it is in the UK and elsewhere but it is still a huge holiday. Last year I really did not do too bad. This year I want to do bet...
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maresie
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2
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356
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my a
(Preview)
i think she is coming back to the area and i am having an anxiety attack about it..she has been miserable and down in the dumps now she wants to come back home i am ready to pack up my stuff and move out of state if things get nasty again because ..hopefully...god i pray..i can not deal with this crap any longe...
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charlescharles
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1
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384
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Al-Anon humor is good medicine sometimes!!
(Preview)
( TRUE STORY) A member of my group called to talk to me late this afternoon. She is 100% detached from her daughter after 15 years of strugles and 7 rehabs. She made that decision almost a year ago. She has never looked back, as hard as it has been she has stuck to her guns. Her three grandchildren live with h...
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RLC
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5
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2171
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I will be dancing!!!
(Preview)
Hi all! Well, thanks to my wonderful f2f meeting and the great people here, I feel real good about the choices I am making and feel like I am doing really well so far. The hunting season starts this saturday and I am nervous for sober bf, but it is his path to follow - he has to decide what he can handle wit...
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mslouise
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8
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492
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Grateful
(Preview)
Everyday I miss my ex-a so I keep coming here to remind me how lucky I am that I am not with him any longer. I read all of your post and I see how many of you that are still strugeling with resentment. I am grateful today that i was strong enough to leave. My head says run run, but my heart keeps on telling me how...
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notmywill
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7
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539
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streaking
(Preview)
Oh the dizzy mood swings sure keep me going and I constantly appreciate the support, encouragement and hope I receive here. It is such a novel idea that al anon folks accept each other as we are right now even when we don't know ourself who we are and under constant change as we progress or slip or sink or...
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ddub
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3
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501
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Wonderful Day
(Preview)
I've been hard of hearing for years, until in the last couple years it has isolted me to an unacceptable degree. Last year, I decided to start the process to get myself a bone anchored hearing aid, as I can't wear a regular one. This means that a screw is inserted into the skull, and the hearing aid plug...
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lin0606
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7
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421
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Things I can do insead of worrying about a relationship with someoen else
(Preview)
Things I can do besides think of the A...... Work Steps and Read Clean Exercise Learn about current events Do something to advance my work or career Meditate Write a letter to myself telling me what I have done right in life!! Practice healthy conversation, pick a topic and share with someone healthy...
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glad
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3
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566
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I really miss my husband
(Preview)
Hi all. As you know, my husband and I have been separated for almost 4 months. Since then, I am involved in f2f Al-Anon meetings, got a sponsor and am on Step 2, working hard, taking care of my home, paying my bills (just barely, but able to do it), taking care of our 8 cats and a sweet dog, and learning to li...
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AJ
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10
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2130
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Fear...
(Preview)
I have been thinking all day about how I believe inside that once things go bad that they will never be good again. Why do I feel this way? For the simple reason that I believe that if I screw up that God or other people or both want to punish me forever. This is the attitude I grew up with from my mom. She was al...
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seekingserenity
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5
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501
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in the bedroom
(Preview)
Hello all. I recently joined this message group in hopes of being able to find some answers to a very personal matter. My boyfriend and I have been dating about 3.5 years now, he has been sober for 3 years and 5 months... When we first started dating he was still drinking but we were not serious... after a s...
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twobytwo
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5
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601
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How Do You Stop From "Checking On" Your A-Ex Online
(Preview)
Hi all, I guess I cant say yesterday was REALLY my day one, and if it was, I kind of feel like i've already blown it in a sense. You'll all remember that I put down how my A-exbf blocked me online and how much it was bothering me. Well, last night I saw that he UN-blocked me, as he popped up on my buddylist. I w...
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cherrygirl30
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9
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661
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Ike
(Preview)
((((Family)))), To all you in the path of Hurricane Ike, please be careful. Let us know that you are okay when you can. I'll be thinking of all our Texas folk who have to evacuate. Don't take any chances. Do what you have to in order to be safe. Love and blessings to you all. I'll be saying extra praye...
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Karilynn
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2
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366
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Joyoma
(Preview)
I just wanted to let you know you have been on my mind this week and I hope you are doing okay and remembering to take care of self. ((((((hugs))))))
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Tenderheartsks
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2
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363
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HAD TO SHARE THIS LOVE IT
(Preview)
THIS IS A QUOTE FROM ELEANOR ROOSEVELT . MANY PEOPLE WILL WALK IN AND OUT OF YOUR LIFE BUT ONLY TRUE FRIENDS WILL LEAVE FOOTPRINTS IN YOUR HEART TO HANDLE YOURSELF , USE YOUR HEAD TO HANDLE OTHERS , USE YOUR HEART ANGER IS ONLY ONE LETTER SHORT OF DANGER IF SOMEONE BETRAYS YOU ONCE, IT IS HIS FAULT IF HE BETR...
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abbyal
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8
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572
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New job, new part of the country, new al-anon home group!
(Preview)
I have good news, I moved recently and I just found a great new al-anon meeting in my new city. I found a Monday night group I like very much near to where I work. So, right after work, off I go! Just a reminder that this fellowship spans the globe and that adds to MY comfort and serenity- my brothers and siste...
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Jean4444
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4
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301
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Trying to change
(Preview)
Hi Guys Struggled today, woke up feeling anxious and upset, was in danger of losing it a bit. So to get out of the house I went into town shopping. Usually I would be buying lots of goodies to take to my partner on a visit to his rehab. Honestly you'd think it was his birthday with the amount of 'presents/go...
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Mariner
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5
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535
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work
(Preview)
i gotta go back to work...what i am learning from this program and from other programs has led me to a place of financial insecurity in a positive way i have been up and down financially most of my life..from times have having much money in the bank to other times of living out of my car and scrounging for ch...
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charlescharles
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4
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499
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In rememberance...
(Preview)
(((((Family)))), On this solemn day, let us take a moment to pause and reflect on those lives lost 7 years ago today. Many MIP family members will be hurting today. May we keep them all in our love and prayers. By the grace of HP hubby was down in the city that day and close to the Towers. He made it home s...
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Karilynn
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5
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497
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doing for me, long winded debilyn
(Preview)
Hi family, well I was my usual stubborn self and so the surgery went well. staff was great. I made one nurse get a bit mad and red faced...haha they have these horrid, plastic gowns now with a input to stick in this hose that blows warm or cold air. I felt like I was in a plastic bag!! I did not say anything. I ju...
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debilyn
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4
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562
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Drownig, depressed and in need of a plan B
(Preview)
I have had a rough week. My children are showing signs of anger and how this is affecting them. I have told my AH when I would ask him to stop drinking about my concerns when it came to our kids. Believe me it's part of my anxiety, my eldest has social, and language issues and has been getting help since 6...
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olg1213
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5
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620
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Program Action!
(Preview)
Greetings, I continue to struggle with this self love stuff and taking new action that will give me a different result. I no longer use the past actions that made me crazy and out of control but I am stuck in this quagmire of why bother and what does it matter. Not sad like depression though I realize thi...
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ddub
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5
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570
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Mixed Signals
(Preview)
I left my AH 2 1/2 months ago and filed for divorce one month after leaving. I started F2F Alanon meetings the night that I filed. After I started the meetings I decided that maybe my decision was made too quickly and in anger. Even as I gave the papers to my husband I said this is not the solution I had hop...
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Marshmallow
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2
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461
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Sincere apologies to cherrygirl 30 and anyone else I offended.
(Preview)
It appears I have ruffled some feathers and that was not my intention. I need to be more gentle with my words sometimes, and I will try hard to work on that. I would like to clarify that the questions I had asked cherrygirl30 in an earlier post of hers was not because I was 'following' her around the interne...
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Tenderheartsks
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2
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544
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UPDATE: So Now He Blocked me Online For No Reason!
(Preview)
So I go home today, and log onto my computer as I always do... He's on as usual. Then he's off. I had a feeling he blocked my screen name so I logged on under my other email and sure enough, I was right! I was in shock! Why the baby games? Why the need to block me when it was made clear that there would be no ta...
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cherrygirl30
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12
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985
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hello friends and family
(Preview)
just need to vent..talk..be somewhere..feel something..say something the days seem to be getting a bit better..maybe my mind and aditude are clearing up i lost my voice after a verbal fight.were i guess i tried to take my will back...or maybe my hp is telling me to shut up for now my a thinks she is comin...
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charlescharles
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2
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624
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(Preview)
Hey folks, I had an email from Debilyn recently, even though she has recently had surgery (don't know the details but that is not necessary it is enough to know that she is going through this on her own) and is feeling pretty rough. She told me that her neighbours are helping out and looking in on her; and...
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Suzannah
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9
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654
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detaching from mood swings?
(Preview)
I am again dealing with severe mood swings. Long story..but we have some very grouchy-hard-to get-along-with next door neighbors. A year ago they threatened the police because our dogs were barking to play ball with them before 6 PM. So we put up a big wooden privacy fence. We left up our chain link on t...
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afglin
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7
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687
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Need to let this out
(Preview)
ok so here's the deal. both my husband and i are alcoholics. from what it appears at the moment we are both alanons also. either way right now, the disease is alive and kickin in this relationship. i haven't had a drink in over 7 years. he drank a couple of days ago. after going into what felt like sho...
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Ash
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7
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598
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Fresh Start - MY day one....
(Preview)
I had an idea.... I noticed something about most of the responding posts to me. They told me that part of my recovery is to stop focusing on my A-ex, and to start keeping the focus on me and my recovery. Well, I thought about that, and that's what this post is all about. That was one thing I was sick and tir...
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cherrygirl30
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8
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678
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Gratitude list
(Preview)
I read the July 14th reading in the odat book. Thank you Louise, it made things better today. Also stayed busy, didn't see the Asober much today which helped. Now he's sick (a cold). I hope he can still make it to his fishing trip, and I can say that without sarcasm today. Talked to a friend today, well list...
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buick23
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3
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771
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On making amends
(Preview)
Yesterday at work, I completed a service transaction and then happily proceeded to tell the person who performed the work, that she had been given a $10.00 tip. After awhile, she came back to me and told me that the software did not register the tip. In disbelief, I could see that it was true, even though...
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glad lee
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2
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609
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Anyone Here in the Same Boat as Me and Just Break up w/ A?
(Preview)
Hi all, I was just wondering if there was anyone else on the board that is in the same boat as me and that just broke it off with their A bf/gf/husband/wife??? If so, i'm just wondering some good ways to cope with the loss, especially when you think you might have some issues of your own with being addicted...
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cherrygirl30
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3
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658
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Don't want him to drink in his home
(Preview)
I want to live in a sober home, but there is daily drinking. Do I have the right to ask him not to drink in his home?
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cabinfever5
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6
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566
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The boomerang and the cops
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I've been reflecting on the last few days and the topic of the "boomerang and the cops" sums it all up. I posted a few days ago, asking for my higher power to give me the courage to put the needs of my son and myself first - to finally say to my AH - I love you, but I can't be with you anymor...
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Rocky38
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2
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420
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What am I afraid of Hurricanes or Untreated Al-Anon's????
(Preview)
Hello my friends, it's been a while since I've been able to visit - we all know how busy life can be - but I had a few moments & stopped by to say Hey, what's going on? Yes it is that lovely season Hurricane Season - good gravy can't it be November 30th yet? We faired well thru Gustav - part of Louisiana did n...
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Rita G
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7
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1297
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Soaring with The Eagles
(Preview)
((((Family)))) Last night I got to fulfill one of my "bucket list" items, lol. I have wanted to see The Eagles in concert since...well since their were Eagles to see! Last night I did it! Drove to San Antonio, had a nice dinner then on to the venue! When I got there, and found the seats, I was a...
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david62
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7
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425
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Disposing of bottles.
(Preview)
I spent this weekend disposing of many wine & vodka bottles. The most bottles I've seen in one location ever. I remember as a child, I lived in a newly built community and there were sections that were not developed due to being land locked, so I got to play in the woods, about 50 acres or so, but stil...
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3Hz
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6
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435
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Quit smoking
(Preview)
So here I go again at my millionth time quitting. It was in control of me rather than the other way around and my lungs are NOT happy. So I quit yesterday. The first few days are nightmarish. If only I could keep that feeling when I think about just having one... Anyway, today is day two of quitting and t...
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carolinagirl
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3
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461
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tired and exhausted
(Preview)
mya..my 'girlfriend'..the woman of my dreams>???!!..blah blah blah she is suffering ten fold right now...last night was misery..she has finally gotten some food in her stomach and trying to settle down she dosen't have the finances to get to me...and i don't have the finances to get to her..tha...
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charlescharles
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4
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372
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ughhh!! my mom
(Preview)
Wow, when my dad heard of my breakup with BF he said : sorry your sad- I think all my kids are too good for everyone they choose (kiddingly) anyway so it will all be okay MY mom had to add the guilt trip: Well if you let him move back home I hope you will do me one favor and have a wedding this time- I swear sometime...
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glad
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5
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447
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I knew better!
(Preview)
I knew better than to listen to a rumor about getting the job. This where working my program helps. I took it ODAT. And don't you know I got a reject letter in the mail. lol. Management decided to withdraw the job announcement. At least I know that I interviewed well. Great experience and I will keep tryin...
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nmike
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6
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425
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give up or keep trying?
(Preview)
I went to my meeting today, and felt worse when I left than I did when I got there. We read through the pamphlet "the merry go round called denial". This once again brought back all those memories that I had convienently blocked out lately. I am a mess right now, can't settle down to go to sleep....
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buick23
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6
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631
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Ok, So Last Night We Fought and he said Never Text/Call Him Again
(Preview)
Hi all, I just posted my first post here yesterday about that guy i've been seeing. What happened now is last night I confronted him while talking online about the fact that he told me he's not ready for a relationship, yet last night he goes online and posts new pictures of himself shirtless and writes...
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cherrygirl30
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6
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456
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downward spiral
(Preview)
Abf returned to his group this today, after missing 2 weeks worth. He had drill this weekend, and by nothing short of a miracle, did not get demoted. This gave him a reason to celebrate...which he did. I went down to the shore with a girlfriend of mine on Sunday and when I got home, there he was, passed o...
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liljeannie
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3
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426
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AH goes to court
(Preview)
I got all worried about AH missing his court date, of course at the last possible minute he picks up the phone, calls the courthouse, gets his hair cut, and leaves 10 minutes late. I can't believe I let myself get sucked into his problems. For the record, I wasn't going to help him out. It is hard to not be in...
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RainyJamie
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6
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582
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Is it depression or just "me"?
(Preview)
Seems more of myself is being revealed daily, and it ain't too pretty. Realizations of myself and the true acknowlegement that "nothing changes if nothing changes". I have been in absolute denial that I could possibly suffer from depression. You know, I don't want to be depressed, maybe...
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Loupiness
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8
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495
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That NO SUBJECT post was a prayer request for our lovely DEBILYN.
(Preview)
Dozy me! Please read, NO SUBJECT. Thank you. Suzannah
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Suzannah
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0
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486
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she says shes coming back
(Preview)
my 'girlfriend'..the woman that caused me to get into this program says she is coming back from detroit to see me..says she realizes she loves me bla bla bla i have told her repeadedly that i am not in love with her..don't want her to come back..all though i sat on the phone with her for hours yesterday..e...
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charlescharles
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5
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543
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Living in a confused state
(Preview)
Part of the difficulty of trying to move forward in all of this is trying to make heads or tails out of it. My AH will go through periods of coming home drunk from work almost every day (he doesn't drink at home). To staying sober for 7 sometimes 10 days at a stretch. I ask myself is he an A or a problem drink...
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olg1213
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3
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405
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Al-anon relapse
(Preview)
I often wondered what an al-anon relapse would look like. Now that I have married a non-drinking alcoholic, I think I know. He quit drinking before we married two years ago, and he hasn't drank since, but he has become a control freak and a very possessive dry drunk. He won't let me go to an al-anon meetin...
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java
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5
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1853
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Okay family, honesty is the best policy and thank you all for being there for me... Love you...
(Preview)
((((((((((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))))))) Please accept my apologies for not trusting this family in my dark night. I really have learned a very valuable lesson there; and, if you can bear it, I will entrust you with the reasons why I found myself in that boat, out in the middle of a wild sto...
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Suzannah
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7
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440
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Gratitude
(Preview)
Hi All After a week of turmoil and heartbreak things have taken a turn for the better. After the shock of my partner being advised against a new relationship whilst in recovery and him not being able to tell me to go, things had been very painful for us. We had both been really happy and healthy together a...
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Mariner
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3
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405
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Walking on eggshells
(Preview)
Dear All, At the moment my step mother A has stabilised with the secondary brain cancer and is living from day to day. My father is distancing himself from me and I ring most days to find out all is ok, not to fix, just to honour the agreement I made with the palliative nurses as I am the nearest in distance. M...
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maire rua
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6
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564
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