Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Aljani · Aljani

I have been dealing with my husband for over 12 years now but the last couple of years have been extremely hard. Seems he is drinking way more ever since I got pregnant with our third child, then my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 8 months later and about a month after she passed away my 10 daug...

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

Hi everyone, I posted in here a couple of times re: my A-ExBf and how we split... Well, turns out i've been doing pretty well in keeping away from him. Thankfully he hasnt contacted me either (or tried to). I have however been approached by other guys (one in particular) and we've actually been chatti...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I do have a sponsor who is a double winner. She has been working the steps with me and she did admit that she only knows one way to work the steps and that is the AA way. I have heard it said that the 4th step in AA is different from the one in Al-Anon. Can someone clarify this for me? Thanks

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi everyone, The last few weeks have been really tough. I finally understand that I matter, and my son matters, enough to create a boundary for my AH. My boundary was that I didnt want to live with AH if he continued to drink and be drunk in our home. My AH "moved out" and has been gone now for 3 day...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just abit restless tonight..thinking about what i can do to make my life the best i can...trying to find some self love here..where i put my wants and needs before the others..and do what i need to do to get the ball rolling in my own life not having to worry or take care of the other..making it so they can de...

mslouise · mslouise

So as you all know my "sober"abf moved himself out on Monday. I told him please do not take any money out of the account as we had pending payments - 1 of which was for a medical bill for him (we didn't have much in there anyways). On Tuesday am he texted me saying he withdrew $50. Asked him ag...

debilyn · debilyn

I am still sick from the horrendous behavior of the driver I had to Ca. Being stuck like that, with no choice was so horrible. I do not see how anyone could live like that day to day with out going crazy. My A was not that type of abusive. Plus I could leave or whatever, was never stuck. My prayers and love to yo...

marmare · marmare

Most of you know that my 2nd oldest son's wife has cystic fibrosis. She is once again in the hospital but not for the usual "tune up" they have found something on the lympnoids near her lungs and her lungs. They are not sure if it's an infection or cancer. Please say a short prayer. She told...

mslouise · mslouise

I am very sad, very angry. My soberbf left me on Monday. From my previous post, you can see we have been struggling lately since he got laid off his job 4 weeks ago. Before he got laid off we were talking about marriage (we even got joint checking account which I would have never done if I didn't feel righ...

liljeannie · liljeannie

GRRRRR!! I am so angry and so frustrated right now. I am trying to get myself a car. In my earlier posts I mentioned that I have a brand new jeep, abf pays for this vehicle...its a lease, so the registration is in the name of the bank. I drive it...after July 4th, he has never driven it again. I have told...

Mariner · Mariner

Just sitting here trying to pluck up courage to go to my first F2F meeting. Talking myself out of it, not sure it's the place for me, not sure I'll fit in, not sure I'll be of any use........ If I thought for one minute you guys would be there I'd be ok..... I'd get there early... Got 30 mins to decide

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

We have this sort of situation, I don't think it's that uncommon, we can't live seperately for financial reasons. Or it at least complicates things. I'm trying so hard to live my life like he is not a part of it. It's not that hard, I try to avoid any situation where I need him (child care, help around the ho...

joyoma · joyoma

Just to say I had my #2 operation Monday to remove the lung met from right lobe. The schedule and routine was same as July. I am now home and gingerly breathing and trying to move normally. This one a bit more painful than #1 but I think it is because it was on my right and I am so right dominant. My son was my c...

marmare · marmare

My daughter inlaw is being released. Tests negative......seems the CF inflamed nodules horribly......Thanks you for the prayers!!!! Hugs

Becky1 · Becky1

I finally see it! Serenity! Isn't it funny how....we always think we know what we want, and ask and ask and beg HP for it, and cry and moan cos He's not giving us what we think we want? THEN, when we finally Let Go and Let God, the blessing flow so quickly like Manna, that we cannot even fathom how much and how g...

Rita G · Rita G

Well Southwest Louisiana was affected by Ike also - we did NOT receive the really bad winds - ours was only 50-65 mph with a few gust up to around 80-85 mph. But we have had tremendous amounts of water from the storm surge. All of Cameron Parish & a good marjority of Calcasieu Parish is flooded - as you w...

CJ · CJ

Family -- This weekend was filled with emotion, stress, anxiety - then gratitude and humbleness. as drama has not escaped me, totally, my partner and I dealt with a complication, induction, then emergency caesarian. she was amazing, showing me the strength and courage of a mother that are rarely m...

kennymack · kennymack

Hi everyone. I'm new here, and I found this forum out of desparation! I'll try to make this horribly long story as brief as I can. I have a 52 year old severly alcoholic brother living with my 78 year old mom. I'm staying there now also because of the situation. He is on full diability, in need of many organ...

Jen57 · Jen57

I'm pretty new to AlAnon and loving the glimpses of serenity that I see. So, for me, starting to work the program has meant creating some distance between myself and my husband. (He's not the A, my stepson is, but my H is an ACOA). Doing more of my own thing--feels good, but also lonely. So I've started try...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I met with my attorney an hour beforehand to go over things. He warned me that as luck would have it, we drew one of the toughest judges out of that area office. Sigh. It lasted 90 grueling minutes, and the chair was so uncomfortable that I had to keep shifting from one hip to the other with my bad back. Halfw...

nmike · nmike

I attended an awesome AA/Alanon camp-out this weekend on the Hopi Reservation in Arizona. Freedom in Sobriety. The speakers were inspiring - AA, Alanon, and Alateen. The Alateen speakers in particular were so powerful. I went to sleep under a full moon listening to a drum group. I am committed to ke...

maresie · maresie

Today I had the unfortunate position of being stuck with someone else's mistake at work. I had an idea I might be. I have been there and done that many times. On the other hand since I have been working really super hard to get through many of the obstacles in front of me a request I asked for to do with the w...

charlescharles · charlescharles

thanks for some of the feedback i got on my last post..maybe i am not ready yet..maybe i haven't gone through enough pain..maybe things will change..not cut off but change maybe i will move away..or maybe at some point i will find the courage to stop picking up the phone or maybe i still haven't learnt th...

Nicole · Nicole

For me, this has been tough. I've been told to get it all done and don't let it just drag out for months so that's what I'm trying to do. It's really discouraging though because when you start looking at the past and seeing all the things you are carrying with you on a daily basis, it's really sad. Resentmen...

debilyn · debilyn

Off we go again with Tim driving. He started talking himself awake, I begged him to pull overhe refused. I said I have to go to the br. he says whatever in a very mean way that basically was so what, He finally stops, I limp into the dark rest room scared and got sick. Not wanting to get back into the van. T...

malauba777 · malauba777

Hi! I am a newbie because I can no longer deal with what is going on in my life with out some support. I have taken xanax to deal with it in the past and quit taking that and now experiencing anxiety attacks due to not wanting to deal with confrontation. My mother-in-law is an alcoholic. The only things t...

ddub · ddub

I have been reading in the search mode and I just had to share one of the best explanations I have ever read about talking to our kids. The things I learn in al anon can be used in all our affairs and this has been expanded for me re: honesty with our kids. Love this and send thanks to John for this posted r...

thetalady · thetalady

I just had an epiphany! I grew up as a child with an alcoholic father. During those years, it was drilled into my siblings and me that what went on in the house was a secret. The funny thing was that as I grew up and started sharing some of the "secrets" with close friends and neighbors, they all s...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH drinks daily, just lost his driver's liscence due to DUI. We have two kids. I want a separation, he is supposedly looking for a place, we sleep in seperate rooms. OK, so, last night, a great band comes to town, and I wanna go, but I work till late. Halfway through, they are slow and permit me to leave earl...

debilyn · debilyn

Arnold and Nic's great adventure. excuse the mistakes I am pooped. crosspost pl This all started from, I believe, Alexis sent out pictures of Arnold and nic over the internet. They were stuck in a shelter in LA,Ca. Janice of "Heartsonnoses" pig sanctary sent me an email. "Deb, these...

maresie · maresie

During all the stages of recovery I've learned a lot. There is however a special grace in being in al anon. When I was first in recovery from codependency I felt I had to convert everyone. I was always recommending books (I still do that). I used to give people my books and then go out and get another copy...

charlescharles · charlescharles

i'm getting really sick of talking about the same stuff over and over again..but it looks like my a is coming back into town...and even though i say i will keep an open mind to it..i am nervous and pretty doubtful anything will really change i am prepared this time to take some steps..boundaries...and e...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, I havent been here for a bit, I have been so busy working on my plan....only the more I work on it, the guiltier I feel. Abf has been basically kissing my behind since the ugly head of aggression and alcohol reared it itself bruising me and breaking a small bone in my foot. He has been sober fo...

maresie · maresie

Suddenly out of the blue the ex A is back calling me several times a day. On the weekend he called 15 times and just blocked up my entire voice mail. So on Sunday I switched my phone off (to airplane mode). Then I got into trouble because no one could reach me who needed to reach me. I have made a huge point of no...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, It seems to be boundary test for me at the moment, my work situation has turned insecure, I knew this was likely, and I will be lucky to sitting at a desk next week, I will have work until december though but have no workspace, I'll get over it. A friend who I thought was really for me has let me down,...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi Family, Well, Lynn, it was you who prompted me to take the bit between my teeth and be brave. I sent out an email to my church support group telling them just how I am feeling right now particularly and how I am not managing weekends at all and feel isolated blah blah... you know the rest if you read my prev...

Alone · Alone

A friend of mines child, a young man of 23, died today of a heroin overdose. From what I am to understand heroin is on the rise with the young now a days. What a waste, if only he could see the pain this has inflicted on his family and friends. I know his family felt they've done all they could do, got him treat...

debilyn · debilyn

ok I would say it is my hormones but I don't have any...haha You guys know I am recouping from knee surgery. It looks great I am walking unaided a bit. Still pretty easily tired. anyway yesterday I was working on a rescue. Breaking two potted pigs out of hades in a horrible shelter in LA Ca. Lots of plannin...

Mariner · Mariner

Not sure which way to turn right now. Recent events with my partner who is in rehab have left me questioning alot about myself. I know I couldnt have got through the past few weeks without you guys. The trouble is I know I'm codependant, I know I have massive problems since childhood due to my A dad. I kn...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was reading another post and some responses and I thought this was a good topic because I got stuck on it many times on this road. I wanted to share what I do sometimes and see if anyone else does it and/or maybe it will help someone get through. I used to have to have in my face proof of something because g...

meagain · meagain

We just got back from a 10 day holiday with another couple. Don't get me wrong - we had a great holiday, and they are lovely Christian people. I really tried to not focus on them always "bragging" obout their 2 children and grandchildren. She says they have never gone thru anything in their l...

cherrygirl30 · cherrygirl30

Hi everyone, I just thought i'd check in and say hi... I've been doing good and staying away from A-exbf. It's still pretty fresh, so of course i've had THOUGHTS of it, but then quickly thought better than to go ahead and do it. I always just say to myself "what good is it going to do? Is is going to c...

buick23 · buick23

All of my life, even after I moved out of my parents house, I worried if my mom would approve of the decisions I made. If I thought she would not agree, I would not do certain things. I even was afraid to tell her that we got a new kitten because I knew she would complain about it, and when I told her, she did. She...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Come to realise that I have a real HUGE problem with weekends. If I can get out and if I can make it to church, I manage - well sort of. I meet people, I mix and have a cup of tea or coffee and a chat. and then walk home to an empty home and just do not feel encouraged to cook a Sunday dinner like I used to do when I had...

CJC · CJC

Wow, it has been a long time since I've been on here. I've been very busy with my daughter starting school, service work through Al-Anon and Alateen, and of course the everyday routine. But I have to admit that i am thrilled to be back and have time to stop by and read posts, it makes me grateful for the prog...

buick23 · buick23

Every other weekend I'm the only one here in this house, and this weekend is one of those. I have always threated those lonely weekends, but this one turned out okay so far. I've been by myself exept for when I went to a f2f on Friday and I went to town with a friend tonight. I took time for myself and started w...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

I havent posted in a while concerning the situation with my ex A B/F but this morning I felt I needed to. I guess just to vent and reach out for some suggestions on how to deal with whats about to happen. Although I havent spoken with my ex or anyone in his circle of family and friends in a while (been super bus...

sadako · sadako

my life has become completely unmanageable, and no amount of prayer and dedication to my HP is doing anything. i turn my entire life over to my HP, i surrender my willpower to my HP. things just keep getting worse! i'm going one hour at a time at this point, forget the "one day" thing. perhaps s...

getoverit · getoverit

Hi hi and namaste~, shalom 2 all -- I know we r a www site and I do not actively discriminate on any kid.. Only a kid that is displaying a behaviour pattern that I have learned to let go / let my h p heal me out of makes me have s queasy sense in me. I have been told that is the voice of h.p. I accept that is the voice of...

Jill · Jill

To me, the promise is that I will be OK regardless of another person's behavior. The benefits are even more. Tonight I see AlAnon and the miracle of detaching with love has allowed me to push aside the ism and let me live with my love for my brother. He died tonight. I didn't always think of it as detaching w...

buick23 · buick23

In my dream last night I was hanging out with some friends (people from back in school in my teenager years), we went to this bar and each of us ordered a few mini bottle drinks, then we got into my truck (I don't even own a truck) and drove off. I was drinking and driving. Then I decided to pull over and let my f...

round3 · round3

I finally made it back online after over a week without electricity following Hurricane Gustav. Fortunately no damage to my house - just tons of limbs and debris. But the heat was beginning to get to me!!! My SAB moved back a couple of weeks ago and things have been going very well. He even tolerated...

Beckatitis · Beckatitis

I suppose I'm not entirely 'new' to this whole al-anon stuff. My boyfriend has been an alcoholic well before we met, I know this for a fact. Alcoholism is a thing that runs in his family, or so he has told me.. I recently had to have an abortion because we are not ready for such a huge responsibility just yet...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Well the AH has been home now for about 2 weeks. Things have gone pretty good. I am grateful to have him home in that since we lost our "baby" (our dog) it has been really tough. She died on my birthday (8/26/08) and it has been difficult on our whole family. I wasn't sure how my AH was going to cope...

kissers · kissers

My friend's husband is an ex drug addict. They are currently separated and he came for a visit. I was able to view the behaviors of both the Alanoner and the Alcoholic. It gave me a totally different perspective. She was incredibly mean to him and was right in his face reprimanding him for every mistake...

maresie · maresie

The holidays are approaching in a month or two. I am in the USA and for those in the UK I'd remind you we have Thanksgiving here which is really a 4 day holiday. Christmas is not as long as it is in the UK and elsewhere but it is still a huge holiday. Last year I really did not do too bad. This year I want to do bet...

charlescharles · charlescharles

i think she is coming back to the area and i am having an anxiety attack about it..she has been miserable and down in the dumps now she wants to come back home i am ready to pack up my stuff and move out of state if things get nasty again because ..hopefully...god i pray..i can not deal with this crap any longe...

RLC · RLC

( TRUE STORY) A member of my group called to talk to me late this afternoon. She is 100% detached from her daughter after 15 years of strugles and 7 rehabs. She made that decision almost a year ago. She has never looked back, as hard as it has been she has stuck to her guns. Her three grandchildren live with h...

mslouise · mslouise

Hi all! Well, thanks to my wonderful f2f meeting and the great people here, I feel real good about the choices I am making and feel like I am doing really well so far. The hunting season starts this saturday and I am nervous for sober bf, but it is his path to follow - he has to decide what he can handle wit...

notmywill · notmywill

Everyday I miss my ex-a so I keep coming here to remind me how lucky I am that I am not with him any longer. I read all of your post and I see how many of you that are still strugeling with resentment. I am grateful today that i was strong enough to leave. My head says run run, but my heart keeps on telling me how...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Would like some advice (Preview) I have been dealing with my husband for over 12 years now but the last couple of years have been extremely hard. Seems he is drinking way more ever since I got pregnant with our third child, then my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and died 8 months later and about a month after she passed away my 10 daug...	Aljani	5	730	Sep 20, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Still Going Strong! (Preview) Hi everyone, I posted in here a couple of times re: my A-ExBf and how we split... Well, turns out i've been doing pretty well in keeping away from him. Thankfully he hasnt contacted me either (or tried to). I have however been approached by other guys (one in particular) and we've actually been chatti...	cherrygirl30	4	553	Sep 20, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	How does an AA 4th step differ from Al-Anon 4th Step (Preview) I do have a sponsor who is a double winner. She has been working the steps with me and she did admit that she only knows one way to work the steps and that is the AA way. I have heard it said that the 4th step in AA is different from the one in Al-Anon. Can someone clarify this for me? Thanks	Mobirdie	6	7867	Sep 20, 2008 by Mobirdie
	Why do I feel like something bad is headed my way? (Preview) Hi everyone, The last few weeks have been really tough. I finally understand that I matter, and my son matters, enough to create a boundary for my AH. My boundary was that I didnt want to live with AH if he continued to drink and be drunk in our home. My AH "moved out" and has been gone now for 3 day...	Rocky38	5	665	Sep 20, 2008 by Maria123
	how do u live a good life (Preview) just abit restless tonight..thinking about what i can do to make my life the best i can...trying to find some self love here..where i put my wants and needs before the others..and do what i need to do to get the ball rolling in my own life not having to worry or take care of the other..making it so they can de...	charlescharles	5	606	Sep 20, 2008 by Karilynn
	the saga continues.... (Preview) So as you all know my "sober"abf moved himself out on Monday. I told him please do not take any money out of the account as we had pending payments - 1 of which was for a medical bill for him (we didn't have much in there anyways). On Tuesday am he texted me saying he withdrew $50. Asked him ag...	mslouise	6	508	Sep 19, 2008 by serendipity
	How do you do it????? (Preview) I am still sick from the horrendous behavior of the driver I had to Ca. Being stuck like that, with no choice was so horrible. I do not see how anyone could live like that day to day with out going crazy. My A was not that type of abusive. Plus I could leave or whatever, was never stuck. My prayers and love to yo...	debilyn	4	485	Sep 19, 2008 by serendipity
	prayer request (Preview) Most of you know that my 2nd oldest son's wife has cystic fibrosis. She is once again in the hospital but not for the usual "tune up" they have found something on the lympnoids near her lungs and her lungs. They are not sure if it's an infection or cancer. Please say a short prayer. She told...	marmare	3	499	Sep 19, 2008 by cookie1971
	Very sad and confused - he left me (Preview) I am very sad, very angry. My soberbf left me on Monday. From my previous post, you can see we have been struggling lately since he got laid off his job 4 weeks ago. Before he got laid off we were talking about marriage (we even got joint checking account which I would have never done if I didn't feel righ...	mslouise	13	814	Sep 19, 2008 by stormie
	All around the mulberry bush...... (Preview) GRRRRR!! I am so angry and so frustrated right now. I am trying to get myself a car. In my earlier posts I mentioned that I have a brand new jeep, abf pays for this vehicle...its a lease, so the registration is in the name of the bank. I drive it...after July 4th, he has never driven it again. I have told...	liljeannie	5	626	Sep 19, 2008 by lin0606
	F2F (Preview) Just sitting here trying to pluck up courage to go to my first F2F meeting. Talking myself out of it, not sure it's the place for me, not sure I'll fit in, not sure I'll be of any use........ If I thought for one minute you guys would be there I'd be ok..... I'd get there early... Got 30 mins to decide	Mariner	12	716	Sep 19, 2008 by Rita G
	living together and detaching (Preview) We have this sort of situation, I don't think it's that uncommon, we can't live seperately for financial reasons. Or it at least complicates things. I'm trying so hard to live my life like he is not a part of it. It's not that hard, I try to avoid any situation where I need him (child care, help around the ho...	RainyJamie	6	626	Sep 19, 2008 by Rita G
	lung surgery #2 (Preview) Just to say I had my #2 operation Monday to remove the lung met from right lobe. The schedule and routine was same as July. I am now home and gingerly breathing and trying to move normally. This one a bit more painful than #1 but I think it is because it was on my right and I am so right dominant. My son was my c...	joyoma	7	519	Sep 18, 2008 by ddub
	Update (Preview) My daughter inlaw is being released. Tests negative......seems the CF inflamed nodules horribly......Thanks you for the prayers!!!! Hugs	marmare	4	385	Sep 18, 2008 by queenie105
	HP Has a Great Sense of Humor (Preview) I finally see it! Serenity! Isn't it funny how....we always think we know what we want, and ask and ask and beg HP for it, and cry and moan cos He's not giving us what we think we want? THEN, when we finally Let Go and Let God, the blessing flow so quickly like Manna, that we cannot even fathom how much and how g...	Becky1	5	386	Sep 18, 2008 by kitty
	Surviving Ike (Preview) Well Southwest Louisiana was affected by Ike also - we did NOT receive the really bad winds - ours was only 50-65 mph with a few gust up to around 80-85 mph. But we have had tremendous amounts of water from the storm surge. All of Cameron Parish & a good marjority of Calcasieu Parish is flooded - as you w...	Rita G	4	853	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	Announcing --- (Preview) Family -- This weekend was filled with emotion, stress, anxiety - then gratitude and humbleness. as drama has not escaped me, totally, my partner and I dealt with a complication, induction, then emergency caesarian. she was amazing, showing me the strength and courage of a mother that are rarely m...	CJ	17	1181	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	Desperately need some advice (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm new here, and I found this forum out of desparation! I'll try to make this horribly long story as brief as I can. I have a 52 year old severly alcoholic brother living with my 78 year old mom. I'm staying there now also because of the situation. He is on full diability, in need of many organ...	kennymack	6	786	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	Am I crazy or what?? (Preview) I'm pretty new to AlAnon and loving the glimpses of serenity that I see. So, for me, starting to work the program has meant creating some distance between myself and my husband. (He's not the A, my stepson is, but my H is an ACOA). Doing more of my own thing--feels good, but also lonely. So I've started try...	Jen57	6	485	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	Had my disability hearing today. (Preview) I met with my attorney an hour beforehand to go over things. He warned me that as luck would have it, we drew one of the toughest judges out of that area office. Sigh. It lasted 90 grueling minutes, and the chair was so uncomfortable that I had to keep shifting from one hip to the other with my bad back. Halfw...	Tenderheartsks	3	569	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	Awesome Camp-out for AA/Alanon (Preview) I attended an awesome AA/Alanon camp-out this weekend on the Hopi Reservation in Arizona. Freedom in Sobriety. The speakers were inspiring - AA, Alanon, and Alateen. The Alateen speakers in particular were so powerful. I went to sleep under a full moon listening to a drum group. I am committed to ke...	nmike	3	659	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	good and bad (Preview) Today I had the unfortunate position of being stuck with someone else's mistake at work. I had an idea I might be. I have been there and done that many times. On the other hand since I have been working really super hard to get through many of the obstacles in front of me a request I asked for to do with the w...	maresie	3	475	Sep 18, 2008 by Maria123
	hello all (Preview) thanks for some of the feedback i got on my last post..maybe i am not ready yet..maybe i haven't gone through enough pain..maybe things will change..not cut off but change maybe i will move away..or maybe at some point i will find the courage to stop picking up the phone or maybe i still haven't learnt th...	charlescharles	0	378	Sep 17, 2008 by charlescharles
	4th step inventory (Preview) For me, this has been tough. I've been told to get it all done and don't let it just drag out for months so that's what I'm trying to do. It's really discouraging though because when you start looking at the past and seeing all the things you are carrying with you on a daily basis, it's really sad. Resentmen...	Nicole	5	5273	Sep 17, 2008 by Suzannah
	part two (Preview) Off we go again with Tim driving. He started talking himself awake, I begged him to pull overhe refused. I said I have to go to the br. he says whatever in a very mean way that basically was so what, He finally stops, I limp into the dark rest room scared and got sick. Not wanting to get back into the van. T...	debilyn	2	544	Sep 17, 2008 by maresie
	Crazy mother in law! (Preview) Hi! I am a newbie because I can no longer deal with what is going on in my life with out some support. I have taken xanax to deal with it in the past and quit taking that and now experiencing anxiety attacks due to not wanting to deal with confrontation. My mother-in-law is an alcoholic. The only things t...	malauba777	12	1761	Sep 17, 2008 by malauba777
	kids (Preview) I have been reading in the search mode and I just had to share one of the best explanations I have ever read about talking to our kids. The things I learn in al anon can be used in all our affairs and this has been expanded for me re: honesty with our kids. Love this and send thanks to John for this posted r...	ddub	6	574	Sep 17, 2008 by Denoraphy
	An Aha! (Preview) I just had an epiphany! I grew up as a child with an alcoholic father. During those years, it was drilled into my siblings and me that what went on in the house was a secret. The funny thing was that as I grew up and started sharing some of the "secrets" with close friends and neighbors, they all s...	thetalady	3	473	Sep 17, 2008 by Denoraphy
	all I give is mixed messages (Preview) AH drinks daily, just lost his driver's liscence due to DUI. We have two kids. I want a separation, he is supposedly looking for a place, we sleep in seperate rooms. OK, so, last night, a great band comes to town, and I wanna go, but I work till late. Halfway through, they are slow and permit me to leave earl...	RainyJamie	2	542	Sep 17, 2008 by linda
	Very long ride with an A pt 1 (Preview) Arnold and Nic's great adventure. excuse the mistakes I am pooped. crosspost pl This all started from, I believe, Alexis sent out pictures of Arnold and nic over the internet. They were stuck in a shelter in LA,Ca. Janice of "Heartsonnoses" pig sanctary sent me an email. "Deb, these...	debilyn	1	516	Sep 17, 2008 by artygirl
	stages of recovery (Preview) During all the stages of recovery I've learned a lot. There is however a special grace in being in al anon. When I was first in recovery from codependency I felt I had to convert everyone. I was always recommending books (I still do that). I used to give people my books and then go out and get another copy...	maresie	1	481	Sep 17, 2008 by queenie105
	my a is coming back (Preview) i'm getting really sick of talking about the same stuff over and over again..but it looks like my a is coming back into town...and even though i say i will keep an open mind to it..i am nervous and pretty doubtful anything will really change i am prepared this time to take some steps..boundaries...and e...	charlescharles	6	543	Sep 17, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	survival or deception? (Preview) Hello all, I havent been here for a bit, I have been so busy working on my plan....only the more I work on it, the guiltier I feel. Abf has been basically kissing my behind since the ugly head of aggression and alcohol reared it itself bruising me and breaking a small bone in my foot. He has been sober fo...	liljeannie	5	521	Sep 17, 2008 by maresie
	being harassed by the ex A (Preview) Suddenly out of the blue the ex A is back calling me several times a day. On the weekend he called 15 times and just blocked up my entire voice mail. So on Sunday I switched my phone off (to airplane mode). Then I got into trouble because no one could reach me who needed to reach me. I have made a huge point of no...	maresie	17	771	Sep 16, 2008 by maresie
	Setting firm boundaries (Preview) Dear all, It seems to be boundary test for me at the moment, my work situation has turned insecure, I knew this was likely, and I will be lucky to sitting at a desk next week, I will have work until december though but have no workspace, I'll get over it. A friend who I thought was really for me has let me down,...	maire rua	2	395	Sep 16, 2008 by kitty
	Took the bit between my teeth... (Preview) Hi Family, Well, Lynn, it was you who prompted me to take the bit between my teeth and be brave. I sent out an email to my church support group telling them just how I am feeling right now particularly and how I am not managing weekends at all and feel isolated blah blah... you know the rest if you read my prev...	Suzannah	4	647	Sep 16, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	the death of a young addict (Preview) A friend of mines child, a young man of 23, died today of a heroin overdose. From what I am to understand heroin is on the rise with the young now a days. What a waste, if only he could see the pain this has inflicted on his family and friends. I know his family felt they've done all they could do, got him treat...	Alone	8	692	Sep 16, 2008 by Alone
	halt (Preview) ok I would say it is my hormones but I don't have any...haha You guys know I am recouping from knee surgery. It looks great I am walking unaided a bit. Still pretty easily tired. anyway yesterday I was working on a rescue. Breaking two potted pigs out of hades in a horrible shelter in LA Ca. Lots of plannin...	debilyn	4	452	Sep 16, 2008 by Becky1
	confused even more (Preview) Not sure which way to turn right now. Recent events with my partner who is in rehab have left me questioning alot about myself. I know I couldnt have got through the past few weeks without you guys. The trouble is I know I'm codependant, I know I have massive problems since childhood due to my A dad. I kn...	Mariner	5	510	Sep 16, 2008 by Karilynn
	Having to know - getting to the why... (Preview) I was reading another post and some responses and I thought this was a good topic because I got stuck on it many times on this road. I wanted to share what I do sometimes and see if anyone else does it and/or maybe it will help someone get through. I used to have to have in my face proof of something because g...	carolinagirl	9	595	Sep 15, 2008 by liljeannie
	Really working toward recovery (Preview) We just got back from a 10 day holiday with another couple. Don't get me wrong - we had a great holiday, and they are lovely Christian people. I really tried to not focus on them always "bragging" obout their 2 children and grandchildren. She says they have never gone thru anything in their l...	meagain	4	395	Sep 15, 2008 by maresie
	Just Checking In - Been Doing Good Staying Away From A-ExBf (Preview) Hi everyone, I just thought i'd check in and say hi... I've been doing good and staying away from A-exbf. It's still pretty fresh, so of course i've had THOUGHTS of it, but then quickly thought better than to go ahead and do it. I always just say to myself "what good is it going to do? Is is going to c...	cherrygirl30	1	385	Sep 15, 2008 by maresie
	seeking approval (Preview) All of my life, even after I moved out of my parents house, I worried if my mom would approve of the decisions I made. If I thought she would not agree, I would not do certain things. I even was afraid to tell her that we got a new kitten because I knew she would complain about it, and when I told her, she did. She...	buick23	3	693	Sep 15, 2008 by maresie
	Weeekends (Preview) Come to realise that I have a real HUGE problem with weekends. If I can get out and if I can make it to church, I manage - well sort of. I meet people, I mix and have a cup of tea or coffee and a chat. and then walk home to an empty home and just do not feel encouraged to cook a Sunday dinner like I used to do when I had...	Suzannah	4	517	Sep 15, 2008 by maresie
	Long time..... (Preview) Wow, it has been a long time since I've been on here. I've been very busy with my daughter starting school, service work through Al-Anon and Alateen, and of course the everyday routine. But I have to admit that i am thrilled to be back and have time to stop by and read posts, it makes me grateful for the prog...	CJC	1	480	Sep 15, 2008 by Jerry F
	feeling content (Preview) Every other weekend I'm the only one here in this house, and this weekend is one of those. I have always threated those lonely weekends, but this one turned out okay so far. I've been by myself exept for when I went to a f2f on Friday and I went to town with a friend tonight. I took time for myself and started w...	buick23	2	382	Sep 15, 2008 by kitty
	Havent posted in a while (Preview) I havent posted in a while concerning the situation with my ex A B/F but this morning I felt I needed to. I guess just to vent and reach out for some suggestions on how to deal with whats about to happen. Although I havent spoken with my ex or anyone in his circle of family and friends in a while (been super bus...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	1	533	Sep 15, 2008 by Alone
	it's become too unmanageble (Preview) my life has become completely unmanageable, and no amount of prayer and dedication to my HP is doing anything. i turn my entire life over to my HP, i surrender my willpower to my HP. things just keep getting worse! i'm going one hour at a time at this point, forget the "one day" thing. perhaps s...	sadako	6	582	Sep 15, 2008 by sadako
	woo -- acceptance / inventory taking of what ever -- itz ok 2 lg lg always (Preview) Hi hi and namaste~, shalom 2 all -- I know we r a www site and I do not actively discriminate on any kid.. Only a kid that is displaying a behaviour pattern that I have learned to let go / let my h p heal me out of makes me have s queasy sense in me. I have been told that is the voice of h.p. I accept that is the voice of...	getoverit	0	422	Sep 15, 2008 by getoverit
	Beyond the promise of Al-Anon (Preview) To me, the promise is that I will be OK regardless of another person's behavior. The benefits are even more. Tonight I see AlAnon and the miracle of detaching with love has allowed me to push aside the ism and let me live with my love for my brother. He died tonight. I didn't always think of it as detaching w...	Jill	14	821	Sep 14, 2008 by buick23
	strange dream (Preview) In my dream last night I was hanging out with some friends (people from back in school in my teenager years), we went to this bar and each of us ordered a few mini bottle drinks, then we got into my truck (I don't even own a truck) and drove off. I was drinking and driving. Then I decided to pull over and let my f...	buick23	6	671	Sep 14, 2008 by buick23
	Back online (Preview) I finally made it back online after over a week without electricity following Hurricane Gustav. Fortunately no damage to my house - just tons of limbs and debris. But the heat was beginning to get to me!!! My SAB moved back a couple of weeks ago and things have been going very well. He even tolerated...	round3	2	405	Sep 14, 2008 by Peggy7
	New?.. I guess. (Preview) I suppose I'm not entirely 'new' to this whole al-anon stuff. My boyfriend has been an alcoholic well before we met, I know this for a fact. Alcoholism is a thing that runs in his family, or so he has told me.. I recently had to have an abortion because we are not ready for such a huge responsibility just yet...	Beckatitis	4	470	Sep 13, 2008 by debilyn
	I think I am growing up, after 40 years of life... (Preview) Well the AH has been home now for about 2 weeks. Things have gone pretty good. I am grateful to have him home in that since we lost our "baby" (our dog) it has been really tough. She died on my birthday (8/26/08) and it has been difficult on our whole family. I wasn't sure how my AH was going to cope...	wildthang86	1	496	Sep 13, 2008 by maresie
	Seeing Things From The Other Side (Preview) My friend's husband is an ex drug addict. They are currently separated and he came for a visit. I was able to view the behaviors of both the Alanoner and the Alcoholic. It gave me a totally different perspective. She was incredibly mean to him and was right in his face reprimanding him for every mistake...	kissers	4	677	Sep 13, 2008 by ddub
	the holidays (Preview) The holidays are approaching in a month or two. I am in the USA and for those in the UK I'd remind you we have Thanksgiving here which is really a 4 day holiday. Christmas is not as long as it is in the UK and elsewhere but it is still a huge holiday. Last year I really did not do too bad. This year I want to do bet...	maresie	2	440	Sep 13, 2008 by maresie
	my a (Preview) i think she is coming back to the area and i am having an anxiety attack about it..she has been miserable and down in the dumps now she wants to come back home i am ready to pack up my stuff and move out of state if things get nasty again because ..hopefully...god i pray..i can not deal with this crap any longe...	charlescharles	1	471	Sep 13, 2008 by maresie
	Al-Anon humor is good medicine sometimes!! (Preview) ( TRUE STORY) A member of my group called to talk to me late this afternoon. She is 100% detached from her daughter after 15 years of strugles and 7 rehabs. She made that decision almost a year ago. She has never looked back, as hard as it has been she has stuck to her guns. Her three grandchildren live with h...	RLC	5	2283	Sep 13, 2008 by maresie
	I will be dancing!!! (Preview) Hi all! Well, thanks to my wonderful f2f meeting and the great people here, I feel real good about the choices I am making and feel like I am doing really well so far. The hunting season starts this saturday and I am nervous for sober bf, but it is his path to follow - he has to decide what he can handle wit...	mslouise	8	579	Sep 13, 2008 by Peggy7
	Grateful (Preview) Everyday I miss my ex-a so I keep coming here to remind me how lucky I am that I am not with him any longer. I read all of your post and I see how many of you that are still strugeling with resentment. I am grateful today that i was strong enough to leave. My head says run run, but my heart keeps on telling me how...	notmywill	7	624	Sep 13, 2008 by Peggy7
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.