Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sookie · sookie

Well--I remember last year at this exact time (right after my AH's first DWI but before his 2nd DWI and stint in rehab--and BEFORE I found Al-Anon) and the holidays were pretty bitter. Here it is a year later...so much has changed and yet in some ways, it still feels glum. I think I am in a funk. I guess it is...

amills4294 · amills4294

I read a lot of the postings on here daily and I post as well. I'm a child of an alcoholic and married to someone who is not alcoholic but has alcoholic behaviors. I attend Face to Face meetings when I can. Last night I attended a meeting and there was a speaker. A girl from Alateen. She was originally bo...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It may sound like a cliche but what a difference today has made in my life! Even yesterday I was giving out hugs & I received what I gave. Talk about a sure thing! I am so happy to say that God my HP is working a great work in me & I am definitely still a work in progress! So much to be grateful for & I a...

tlynna · tlynna

I sympathize with the embarrassment post. It's taken me a very long time, but I am (mostly) beyond being able to get embarrassed by my AH behaviour. My question is, how to deal with the family pressure on "you need to control your husband!" They are really taken aback by the fact that I don...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Oh limited time and so much to say ... here it goes. This morning I had a tiny event happen that made me take note of how strange it truly is to not feel responsible for any one else's happiness. I like the fact that I can enhance another person's happiness or do something that makes them happy but lifelong h...

KLotus · KLotus

Was able to (again) attend my weekly homegroup meeting yesterday. It takes place over the lunch hour, and is not located near my work, but near home. Trying to work up the courage to ask my boss if I can work from home on Monday afternoons. Not sure how to pitch it - as a support group? I don't feel comfor...

amills4294 · amills4294

This has been a truly challenging year for me. I wish I had discovered this "concept" sooner. I was always the drama queen. Caught up in the emotion and drama of the situation because we were sooo not allowed to have drama or feel emotions when we were kids. As my aunt stated we were the &quo...

Pushka · Pushka

Has anyone read this book? I think I'm going to put it on my list of must reads. I'm curious who else has read it?? Hugs P :)

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

How do you guys deal with embarassing behavior of your A. Mine has had two in the past week, one in the grocery store, one in front of our house that a neighbor witnessed. Both were little temper tantrums, beyond my control, but when you are the person standing next to them and people look at you like eithe...

Doozy · Doozy

I wanted to share something I feel pretty happy about and thankful for tonight. I can feel all this work with Alanon and counseling really changing me and my relationships. One of the big changes has obviously been the end of a 3-yr relationship with a practicing addict, but probably more important th...

rara avis · rara avis

Anybody here have any ESH on recovering from being berated and/or in general being treated like caca? Besides meetings. W/an attorney, I recently put together the paperwork for a temp. restraining order [ FUN! ] and seeing all the things my ex did, didn't do, called me, etc...really brought hom...

dawnrg7 · dawnrg7

Ok well I had a "ahha" moment, like a light bulb went off finally after going to another al anon meeting (while my AH) is in treatment for the 3rd time. I realised I am as sick as he is or sicker for my insane behavior and for life to change for me I have to change. BUT IT is hard to change... this is al...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I first posted on here about how my AH said my love is conditional and that bothered me and at the time I didn't know how to respond to him. I've been learning, a lot. We had a great weekend, well I'm sick but he was awesome making soup, just being there. We watched a bunch of movies. I had said thank you for tak...

never going back · never going back

Hello and hugs to my MIP family! In my last post, I was extremely stressed about an up-coming confrontation with my AH. I read and re-read the advice given here. With the help of my HP and using your words as a guide, I stood fast to my resolve to live separate from my AH unless/until he was willing to seek s...

Lilbearz · Lilbearz

Newbie to the boards, haven't made the call yet to find face to face meetings. Here is why? While sober my AH knows I am posting on these message boards, he understands I need to talk to someone, to vent. It has been helping, not one argument in 5 days as he still continues to be drunk daily. I am keeping...

Christina1215 · Christina1215

Hello :) my name is Christina and I have a few questions I've been searching the Internet for with no luck. Lucky for me I have sober alcoholics in my family and friends to help me relate and others who will be bringing me to an alanon meeting Wednesday. My boyfriend of 3+ years surrendered to alcoholi...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

We had an interesting discussion at my meeting last night about what attracted us to our qualifiers. It got me thinking about my past. I met my wife when I was 34--old enough to have gone through a decade plus of horrible relationships that just caused pain and misery for everyone involved. When I met my...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

and may be willing to swap numbers??? I have one number for a lady who is in Al Anon but she travels so much she is very difficult to get hold of. There are three people that go to meetings in Darwin, I had thier numbers but they never answer either on the two occassions each I have rung them. I know there is th...

amills4294 · amills4294

Well I went to a bonfire my local meeting has - it was very very windy and although warm for November the wind made it a bit chilly! We had a meeting around the fire which was very nice. The topic was about taking care of yourself - the very fundamental side of taking care of yourself. The reading asked que...

sookie · sookie

I am struggling lately in the process of separating from my AH. He already lives outside the home, but given his recent drinking binge and random lies (I believe he is a pathological liar), I just do not want to be married to him anymore. I deserve a better life, and alone is better right now. I am SO enjoy...

Not Alone · Not Alone

Okay, so I've started working on myself - counsellor, doing some reading etc. I'm feeling great - I really am! Can't believe I let myself get so lost. I know I wasn't always this way but I know what has brought me here and I'm working on it. ABF has started attending meetings regularly and counselling - h...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

My husband (who legally is my ex) went through 3 inpatient rehabs within 3 years. The first rehab we were both so naive. He was full of promises and I swallowed them hook, line and sinker. He was back to drinking in no time. (That G in my name used to stand for gulliable.) The second rehab I was out of the p...

KimK · KimK

Im struggling to keep my sanity tonight....Husband has only been home for about an hour and it's taken all I have in me to stay halfway sane....We have the same charger for our phones...Well, he lost his a couple of months ago, and hasn't bothered to replace it...He needed mine tonight, and I told him I'...

rehprof · rehprof

After 28 years married to an AH, I am surprised at how shakey I am in terms of confidence. Whenever anything goes wrong, I immediately take the blame, and then spend time worrying because I didn't get it right (which is often not the case). My counselor says that this all stems from the idea that I can con...

kris10 · kris10

My Abf gets paid on the 16th... I already know that he will be high.. Even maybe today and the next day because he usually "fronts" some a few days in advance to him getting paid... And last month he did something different. He got paid and gave his whole paycheck to his dealer so they could buy m...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Deblyn said this in a very recent post and it is oh so true. But the problem is, they don't start out being the horrible people they become. I said to a friend just last night that if mine had started out as the horrid, verbally abusive, treating me like dirt, donkey behind I no longer live with, I would NEVE...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. I can't remember if I shared once again what happened with the kittens .. dummy next door came and got them. I was upset however I handed them over no fuss no muss. Outside of letting her know clearly that if she did ANYTHING in ways of bothering myself or my children would have issues. This IS our p...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

It's been a rough day and I fully acknowledge responsibility for it. My wife had a job this morning and I took out the kids. When we got home, she was home and I immediately for whatever reason went into judgement mode. She wasn't drunk, I knew that, but I'm analyzing everything to what she's saying and ev...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Last night I became very honest with myself. I finally just started writing out the steps. I realized that I have successfully progressed with steps 1-3. I am currently working on step 4. I read a personality book a few weeks back and realized alot of my personality defaults come from the personali...

newbeginning1 · newbeginning1

Hi, my name is Alexa, and obviously I am new to this forum. I am really struggling right now trying to find a place in Alanon, but I know I really need the support and guidance that the program can give me. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for almost three years now. I am only 19 years old, so he...

Latinarose · Latinarose

Dazzed and confused! My addict is a drama king everything is a drama and he wants me to jump quickly to give him solutions to problems that arise in his life. His anger and outbursts ger out of controll and I can not make him see it. Frankly I can not talk to him sober or not!

emma058 · emma058

Just let me thank you all for allowing me to post my story. After 20 years of trying to live with an alcoholic and having him run my life. He finally crossed the line on Tuesday and threatened physical violence on me and managed to grab our adult daughter and pull her hair. Needless, to say, he is in jail...

Irish John · Irish John

I hope you will grant me some forebearance with my questions and offer me your insights. I have recently met an amazing woman, 57, with whom I hope to build a long term relationship. We have discussed that she is an alcoholic who has been sober for 18 years. She continues to attend weekly AA mtgs and ac...

KimK · KimK

Who knew that having too much bread in the pantry was breaking some great rule of the world....My husband came home today after work, which is unusual to begin with, but I was in the living room watching tv, and could hear him out in the kitchen complaining under his breath about the smudge of peanut butt...

KimK · KimK

I have to vent, otherwise, I will go scream at a drunken fool...and I know that will serve no good purpose. He came home, I was on the phone with a classmate of mine talking about school....Apparantly, I was talking with my boyfriend, and my husband hopes it is love and that I will leave....He's in bed pa...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My program accepted and practiced meditation has been for years "God is". I can and have been practicing that since my elder sponsor led me to it on a 24/7 basis. Especially now after last Tuesday's event I have wrapped myself in that meditation along with the rest of life. What has come...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have gotten some sleep lately which I kind of attribute to the medicine I am taking but also to the positive outlook I have on life these days! But, on Sat. night, I got a call on my phone at home at 2:30 am. Probably a wrong number. I stayed up pretty much after that. Can't a nice gal like me get a break? I just...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I actually had a good conversation with my husband yesterday before the addict monster came to play. I spoke to him about a 'spiritual reading' and how the lady who was channelling said that she knew he was smoking marijuana, and that it isn't going to stop and I have two choices to accept it or leave him....

John · John

A few weeks ago I was the opening speaker for the Tri City Area Conference in Petersburg, VA. They recorded and made a CD of my share which they kindly gave me a copy of.Should or shouldn't I share it on this site, and if so, should or shouldn't I let it be known here that it is a share by the founder and webmas...

Miss Maddie · Miss Maddie

I'm trying & trying to detach & not react..... Had a prety nice day & went out to a new place for dinner. Stopped by the liquor store for some holiday beers for the upcoming holidays & he got a 6 pack for the car. (I drove) At dinner, he didn't eat much & drank a BUNCH of beers. Barten...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Our son is only 10, but has a way of seeing the world in an honest, unfiltered way. And he doesn't have a problem speaking his mind about what he sees. Over the past couple of weeks, he has been coming to me and saying, "You and Dad have bad communication. You need to work on that." Tonight he told...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

I found this old post (2004) by Elizabeth to be very inspiring, and thought I would share it with other newbies like myself. ---------- Wise words from an AA who counsels with families of alcoholics: "Yes, the alcoholic can be forced to get sober." The spouse: "But I've tried every...

Pushka · Pushka

K, .. so my attitude has been fully adjusted .. LOL .. my AH has not been a happy camper tonight and well .. so be it. God love him, if he doesn't want to hug or kiss me goodbye/good night (I was told I was mean .. lol .. ok I'm sure I was grumpy acting) he doesn't have to and it's not personal (LOL .. I'm sure in his...

Lilbearz · Lilbearz

I want to thank all of you for sharing, I can relate to all of the stories. It is like reading my own journal if I had one. From the verbal abuse, which I like to call "Bullying", to the "I know you are cheating" when I am texting or on the phone "say hi to your boyfriend for me,...

lostinspace · lostinspace

It's been almost a week since I left my AH. As hard as it was to do, enough was enough. He started calling me weak and other things. He told me that I was "copping out on the relationship."But the thing is is that he wasn't drunk or drinking during that time. I just told him that we should go our s...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Well, I take care of the checkbook and bills. He earns the money, doesn't care what the checkbook or credit card balance is, just buys whatever he feels like. I don't try to tell him to stop spending anymore, we only have such and such in the bank...he doesn't care, and if he cared he could check the accoun...

patsquest · patsquest

I am new to this board having just found it this weekend. After 30 years of living with my husbands addition I am just now starting to get MY life back. For all those years of trying to control how he acted and what he did it has finally brought me to the point of "I just can't do it anymore"! There i...

Pushka · Pushka

Mark and Jerry both got me thinking about some things over the past 24 hours. I'm so grateful to you both. I will be reading about resentment contemplating about what has me stuck in the tar pit of the past. I gotta say I"m soooo angry right now and I feel so resentful with good reason the ironic thi...

never going back · never going back

Very, very anxious today. I can't get the knots out of my stomach. I'm trying to stay busy cleaning, doing yoga, walking outside, but that queasy feeling remains. My AH had a very successful (I thought) year and a half in AA, then quit going for a year and a half ( a time in which he relapsed 5 times), and has...

jazzcat · jazzcat

It was my A's birthday at midnight. We both play music, and had a show together. I was dreading it all day. He got just as drunk as Id imagined. But I kept laughing and enjoying myself. Serenity. His choices, his addiction, his life. Other musicians in town and his friends came out. Everyone was buying...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have been doing just that for about two months... I feel when the Tiger sleeps is when the monkeys prance.... you know? If I stop worrying will it happen? Then I think. STOP!! I know I have to be in today. I know I have to focus on me. I get caught up sometimes worrying, thinking, pondering... tomorrow. on...

KeepingFaith · KeepingFaith

Im learning so much in coming here and f2f meetings, my sponsor, my counselor, & a couple close friends that have lived through their journey of loving an A. I recently set boundaries with my Abf. And in part of it was ending the relationship until he enters recovery. Nothing changes if nothing c...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Searching for a good nights' sleep still. Got some new meds. Hope they work--actually a different version of the same I am taking now. I am doing much better--I finally talked to my dad Thursday. He is doing the best to be expected I guess. He wants me to come down & spend a week or almost a month w/ him....

nyc018 · nyc018

I'm going through a bad day dealing with anger and resentment at my AH, along with anger at myself for not being strong enough. I'm separated from AH, but we're still close in that he spends a large part of the weekend with me and our son. He's been sober since September after getting out of rehab. This f...

Pushka · Pushka

My AH and I spent the day together and had a nice time for the most part. I'm a little irritated at the moment (better for me to put it down here than to act out how I want too .. LOL) being woken up at the crack of dawn. He spent the evening in the ER .. THAT didn't make me happy as he could have gone to a dang dr ins...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I haven't felt self hatred and disgust since I don't know when. My VA/AA counselor told me years ago that when my time was all done that if I found that I had progressed 1/4" (a quarter inch) in recovery then I should be satisfied and my self righteous self said...uh uh Bill, I'll be miles away fr...

kris10 · kris10

How do I get rid of all this hate and resentment????? Every single night lately I can't sleep because I have all these thoughts in my mind of all the things that are bothering me and all the reasons why I resent my Abf... I find myself laying in bed next to him, discusted to even look at him.. I love him but I s...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I knew it then and I know it now. It was a combo of hating myself and being afraid to be alone. For me, I would rather be with someone I couldn't stand at that point than to be alone. When alone, I had to think about myself. I had to really ponder my situation and where my life did not go as planned. I had to f...

RLC · RLC

Today is Veterans Day. A day for us to thank all of the Veterans who gave of service and many who paid the ultimate price giving their life for their country and our freedom. My late brother was one of them. He was a Marine, once a Marine always a Marine. The few the proud the Marines. His motto: Semper Fi...

Lilbearz · Lilbearz

I just found this message board, I have read posts that I can completely relate too, I just haven't taken that step and gone to a Family Group meeting. I have been married 15 years with two wonderful sons, and have been living with alcoholism for over 11 years of it, and I find myself at a cross road. Can I...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ugh. The holidays. (Preview) Well--I remember last year at this exact time (right after my AH's first DWI but before his 2nd DWI and stint in rehab--and BEFORE I found Al-Anon) and the holidays were pretty bitter. Here it is a year later...so much has changed and yet in some ways, it still feels glum. I think I am in a funk. I guess it is...	sookie	4	1152	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Alateen - amazing speaker from F2F meeting last night (Preview) I read a lot of the postings on here daily and I post as well. I'm a child of an alcoholic and married to someone who is not alcoholic but has alcoholic behaviors. I attend Face to Face meetings when I can. Last night I attended a meeting and there was a speaker. A girl from Alateen. She was originally bo...	amills4294	5	553	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	what a difference a day makes! (Preview) It may sound like a cliche but what a difference today has made in my life! Even yesterday I was giving out hugs & I received what I gave. Talk about a sure thing! I am so happy to say that God my HP is working a great work in me & I am definitely still a work in progress! So much to be grateful for & I a...	Hoot Nanny	3	521	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Embarrassment - a different twist (Preview) I sympathize with the embarrassment post. It's taken me a very long time, but I am (mostly) beyond being able to get embarrassed by my AH behaviour. My question is, how to deal with the family pressure on "you need to control your husband!" They are really taken aback by the fact that I don...	tlynna	8	584	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Not responsible for another's happiness + Sparky update (Preview) Oh limited time and so much to say ... here it goes. This morning I had a tiny event happen that made me take note of how strange it truly is to not feel responsible for any one else's happiness. I like the fact that I can enhance another person's happiness or do something that makes them happy but lifelong h...	Jennifer	6	699	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Update (Preview) Was able to (again) attend my weekly homegroup meeting yesterday. It takes place over the lunch hour, and is not located near my work, but near home. Trying to work up the courage to ask my boss if I can work from home on Monday afternoons. Not sure how to pitch it - as a support group? I don't feel comfor...	KLotus	9	487	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Separating Fact from emotion and removing expectations from the dynamics (Preview) This has been a truly challenging year for me. I wish I had discovered this "concept" sooner. I was always the drama queen. Caught up in the emotion and drama of the situation because we were sooo not allowed to have drama or feel emotions when we were kids. As my aunt stated we were the &quo...	amills4294	4	789	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Lois Remembers (Preview) Has anyone read this book? I think I'm going to put it on my list of must reads. I'm curious who else has read it?? Hugs P :)	Pushka	8	3341	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Embarassment (Preview) How do you guys deal with embarassing behavior of your A. Mine has had two in the past week, one in the grocery store, one in front of our house that a neighbor witnessed. Both were little temper tantrums, beyond my control, but when you are the person standing next to them and people look at you like eithe...	surfgirl123	6	493	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Alanon changing me and changing relationships (Preview) I wanted to share something I feel pretty happy about and thankful for tonight. I can feel all this work with Alanon and counseling really changing me and my relationships. One of the big changes has obviously been the end of a 3-yr relationship with a practicing addict, but probably more important th...	Doozy	7	483	Nov 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Recovering from being berated? (Preview) Anybody here have any ESH on recovering from being berated and/or in general being treated like caca? Besides meetings. W/an attorney, I recently put together the paperwork for a temp. restraining order [ FUN! ] and seeing all the things my ex did, didn't do, called me, etc...really brought hom...	rara avis	15	662	Nov 16, 2011 by Breakingfree
	New here, not to addiction though, need support (Preview) Ok well I had a "ahha" moment, like a light bulb went off finally after going to another al anon meeting (while my AH) is in treatment for the 3rd time. I realised I am as sick as he is or sicker for my insane behavior and for life to change for me I have to change. BUT IT is hard to change... this is al...	dawnrg7	7	440	Nov 16, 2011 by Breakingfree
	I had the response I needed (Preview) I first posted on here about how my AH said my love is conditional and that bothered me and at the time I didn't know how to respond to him. I've been learning, a lot. We had a great weekend, well I'm sick but he was awesome making soup, just being there. We watched a bunch of movies. I had said thank you for tak...	Jackie11	11	497	Nov 16, 2011 by Breakingfree
	A 'God-incidence' (Preview) Hello and hugs to my MIP family! In my last post, I was extremely stressed about an up-coming confrontation with my AH. I read and re-read the advice given here. With the help of my HP and using your words as a guide, I stood fast to my resolve to live separate from my AH unless/until he was willing to seek s...	never going back	7	599	Nov 16, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Concern of Face to Face Meetings (Preview) Newbie to the boards, haven't made the call yet to find face to face meetings. Here is why? While sober my AH knows I am posting on these message boards, he understands I need to talk to someone, to vent. It has been helping, not one argument in 5 days as he still continues to be drunk daily. I am keeping...	Lilbearz	7	430	Nov 16, 2011 by Breakingfree
	New here please help!? (Preview) Hello :) my name is Christina and I have a few questions I've been searching the Internet for with no luck. Lucky for me I have sober alcoholics in my family and friends to help me relate and others who will be bringing me to an alanon meeting Wednesday. My boyfriend of 3+ years surrendered to alcoholi...	Christina1215	12	682	Nov 16, 2011 by Breakingfree
	My wife is exactly who I wanted her to be (Preview) We had an interesting discussion at my meeting last night about what attracted us to our qualifiers. It got me thinking about my past. I met my wife when I was 34--old enough to have gone through a decade plus of horrible relationships that just caused pain and misery for everyone involved. When I met my...	usedtobeanyer	14	507	Nov 16, 2011 by Michelle814
	is there anyone here living in Australia (Preview) and may be willing to swap numbers??? I have one number for a lady who is in Al Anon but she travels so much she is very difficult to get hold of. There are three people that go to meetings in Darwin, I had thier numbers but they never answer either on the two occassions each I have rung them. I know there is th...	Lindaoakford	4	469	Nov 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	What are YOU doing to take care of YOU? (Preview) Well I went to a bonfire my local meeting has - it was very very windy and although warm for November the wind made it a bit chilly! We had a meeting around the fire which was very nice. The topic was about taking care of yourself - the very fundamental side of taking care of yourself. The reading asked que...	amills4294	4	533	Nov 16, 2011 by kitty
	Confused by choices... (Preview) I am struggling lately in the process of separating from my AH. He already lives outside the home, but given his recent drinking binge and random lies (I believe he is a pathological liar), I just do not want to be married to him anymore. I deserve a better life, and alone is better right now. I am SO enjoy...	sookie	7	525	Nov 15, 2011 by Not Alone
	confused??? (Preview) Okay, so I've started working on myself - counsellor, doing some reading etc. I'm feeling great - I really am! Can't believe I let myself get so lost. I know I wasn't always this way but I know what has brought me here and I'm working on it. ABF has started attending meetings regularly and counselling - h...	Not Alone	7	395	Nov 15, 2011 by sookie
	3rd Time Was Different (Preview) My husband (who legally is my ex) went through 3 inpatient rehabs within 3 years. The first rehab we were both so naive. He was full of promises and I swallowed them hook, line and sinker. He was back to drinking in no time. (That G in my name used to stand for gulliable.) The second rehab I was out of the p...	GailMichelle	6	545	Nov 15, 2011 by sookie
	Rough Evening (Preview) Im struggling to keep my sanity tonight....Husband has only been home for about an hour and it's taken all I have in me to stay halfway sane....We have the same charger for our phones...Well, he lost his a couple of months ago, and hasn't bothered to replace it...He needed mine tonight, and I told him I'...	KimK	13	518	Nov 15, 2011 by KimK
	self worth and control (Preview) After 28 years married to an AH, I am surprised at how shakey I am in terms of confidence. Whenever anything goes wrong, I immediately take the blame, and then spend time worrying because I didn't get it right (which is often not the case). My counselor says that this all stems from the idea that I can con...	rehprof	7	953	Nov 15, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	preparing myself... (Preview) My Abf gets paid on the 16th... I already know that he will be high.. Even maybe today and the next day because he usually "fronts" some a few days in advance to him getting paid... And last month he did something different. He got paid and gave his whole paycheck to his dealer so they could buy m...	kris10	16	623	Nov 15, 2011 by Jackie11
	In a healthy world people do not act like this (Preview) Deblyn said this in a very recent post and it is oh so true. But the problem is, they don't start out being the horrible people they become. I said to a friend just last night that if mine had started out as the horrid, verbally abusive, treating me like dirt, donkey behind I no longer live with, I would NEVE...	likemyheart	8	483	Nov 15, 2011 by tlynna
	OT - Cats .. (Preview) LOL .. I can't remember if I shared once again what happened with the kittens .. dummy next door came and got them. I was upset however I handed them over no fuss no muss. Outside of letting her know clearly that if she did ANYTHING in ways of bothering myself or my children would have issues. This IS our p...	Pushka	5	4087	Nov 15, 2011 by Pushka
	Bad day--my fault (Preview) It's been a rough day and I fully acknowledge responsibility for it. My wife had a job this morning and I took out the kids. When we got home, she was home and I immediately for whatever reason went into judgement mode. She wasn't drunk, I knew that, but I'm analyzing everything to what she's saying and ev...	usedtobeanyer	15	609	Nov 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Step Four in Progress - Direction Appreciated step four (Preview) Last night I became very honest with myself. I finally just started writing out the steps. I realized that I have successfully progressed with steps 1-3. I am currently working on step 4. I read a personality book a few weeks back and realized alot of my personality defaults come from the personali...	Michelle814	6	511	Nov 15, 2011 by Michelle814
	Teen looking for support (Preview) Hi, my name is Alexa, and obviously I am new to this forum. I am really struggling right now trying to find a place in Alanon, but I know I really need the support and guidance that the program can give me. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for almost three years now. I am only 19 years old, so he...	newbeginning1	8	524	Nov 15, 2011 by danni
	Dazzed and confused (Preview) Dazzed and confused! My addict is a drama king everything is a drama and he wants me to jump quickly to give him solutions to problems that arise in his life. His anger and outbursts ger out of controll and I can not make him see it. Frankly I can not talk to him sober or not!	Latinarose	6	501	Nov 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	Husband out of home (Preview) Just let me thank you all for allowing me to post my story. After 20 years of trying to live with an alcoholic and having him run my life. He finally crossed the line on Tuesday and threatened physical violence on me and managed to grab our adult daughter and pull her hair. Needless, to say, he is in jail...	emma058	5	456	Nov 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	New member ? regarding supportive relationship (Preview) I hope you will grant me some forebearance with my questions and offer me your insights. I have recently met an amazing woman, 57, with whom I hope to build a long term relationship. We have discussed that she is an alcoholic who has been sober for 18 years. She continues to attend weekly AA mtgs and ac...	Irish John	6	510	Nov 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	Having too much bread in the pantry..lol (Preview) Who knew that having too much bread in the pantry was breaking some great rule of the world....My husband came home today after work, which is unusual to begin with, but I was in the living room watching tv, and could hear him out in the kitchen complaining under his breath about the smudge of peanut butt...	KimK	10	634	Nov 14, 2011 by KimK
	Just got drawn into crazy town.... (Preview) I have to vent, otherwise, I will go scream at a drunken fool...and I know that will serve no good purpose. He came home, I was on the phone with a classmate of mine talking about school....Apparantly, I was talking with my boyfriend, and my husband hopes it is love and that I will leave....He's in bed pa...	KimK	8	773	Nov 14, 2011 by KimK
	Reconfirmation... (Preview) My program accepted and practiced meditation has been for years "God is". I can and have been practicing that since my elder sponsor led me to it on a 24/7 basis. Especially now after last Tuesday's event I have wrapped myself in that meditation along with the rest of life. What has come...	Jerry F	4	561	Nov 14, 2011 by Andrea12
	some sleep; not much! (Preview) I have gotten some sleep lately which I kind of attribute to the medicine I am taking but also to the positive outlook I have on life these days! But, on Sat. night, I got a call on my phone at home at 2:30 am. Probably a wrong number. I stayed up pretty much after that. Can't a nice gal like me get a break? I just...	Hoot Nanny	1	411	Nov 14, 2011 by Jerry F
	had a good conversation with my husband (all my posts are long) (Preview) I actually had a good conversation with my husband yesterday before the addict monster came to play. I spoke to him about a 'spiritual reading' and how the lady who was channelling said that she knew he was smoking marijuana, and that it isn't going to stop and I have two choices to accept it or leave him....	Lindaoakford	11	843	Nov 14, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Simple Question (Preview) A few weeks ago I was the opening speaker for the Tri City Area Conference in Petersburg, VA. They recorded and made a CD of my share which they kindly gave me a copy of.Should or shouldn't I share it on this site, and if so, should or shouldn't I let it be known here that it is a share by the founder and webmas...	John	17	616	Nov 14, 2011 by glad lee
	Turning into a bad night........... (Preview) I'm trying & trying to detach & not react..... Had a prety nice day & went out to a new place for dinner. Stopped by the liquor store for some holiday beers for the upcoming holidays & he got a 6 pack for the car. (I drove) At dinner, he didn't eat much & drank a BUNCH of beers. Barten...	Miss Maddie	14	551	Nov 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	Out of the mouths of babes (Preview) Our son is only 10, but has a way of seeing the world in an honest, unfiltered way. And he doesn't have a problem speaking his mind about what he sees. Over the past couple of weeks, he has been coming to me and saying, "You and Dad have bad communication. You need to work on that." Tonight he told...	Very Very Tired	8	450	Nov 14, 2011 by Jackie11
	INSPIRED BY OLD POST (Preview) I found this old post (2004) by Elizabeth to be very inspiring, and thought I would share it with other newbies like myself. ---------- Wise words from an AA who counsels with families of alcoholics: "Yes, the alcoholic can be forced to get sober." The spouse: "But I've tried every...	GreenerGrass	11	628	Nov 14, 2011 by Michelle814
	A Homer Simpson D'oh Moment (Preview) K, .. so my attitude has been fully adjusted .. LOL .. my AH has not been a happy camper tonight and well .. so be it. God love him, if he doesn't want to hug or kiss me goodbye/good night (I was told I was mean .. lol .. ok I'm sure I was grumpy acting) he doesn't have to and it's not personal (LOL .. I'm sure in his...	Pushka	2	484	Nov 14, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Newbie Working Through It (Preview) I want to thank all of you for sharing, I can relate to all of the stories. It is like reading my own journal if I had one. From the verbal abuse, which I like to call "Bullying", to the "I know you are cheating" when I am texting or on the phone "say hi to your boyfriend for me,...	Lilbearz	8	436	Nov 14, 2011 by Lilbearz
	I did it!!!! (Preview) It's been almost a week since I left my AH. As hard as it was to do, enough was enough. He started calling me weak and other things. He told me that I was "copping out on the relationship."But the thing is is that he wasn't drunk or drinking during that time. I just told him that we should go our s...	lostinspace	9	626	Nov 13, 2011 by lostinspace
	insufficient funds (Preview) Well, I take care of the checkbook and bills. He earns the money, doesn't care what the checkbook or credit card balance is, just buys whatever he feels like. I don't try to tell him to stop spending anymore, we only have such and such in the bank...he doesn't care, and if he cared he could check the accoun...	GreenerGrass	3	439	Nov 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Taking back my life after 30 years with the struggle (Preview) I am new to this board having just found it this weekend. After 30 years of living with my husbands addition I am just now starting to get MY life back. For all those years of trying to control how he acted and what he did it has finally brought me to the point of "I just can't do it anymore"! There i...	patsquest	5	490	Nov 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	An opportunity to heal (Preview) Mark and Jerry both got me thinking about some things over the past 24 hours. I'm so grateful to you both. I will be reading about resentment contemplating about what has me stuck in the tar pit of the past. I gotta say I"m soooo angry right now and I feel so resentful with good reason the ironic thi...	Pushka	5	584	Nov 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Needing ESH today more than ever (Preview) Very, very anxious today. I can't get the knots out of my stomach. I'm trying to stay busy cleaning, doing yoga, walking outside, but that queasy feeling remains. My AH had a very successful (I thought) year and a half in AA, then quit going for a year and a half ( a time in which he relapsed 5 times), and has...	never going back	8	473	Nov 13, 2011 by patsquest
	The Dreaded Birthday Party (Preview) It was my A's birthday at midnight. We both play music, and had a show together. I was dreading it all day. He got just as drunk as Id imagined. But I kept laughing and enjoying myself. Serenity. His choices, his addiction, his life. Other musicians in town and his friends came out. Everyone was buying...	jazzcat	5	416	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop???? live in today one day at a time (Preview) I have been doing just that for about two months... I feel when the Tiger sleeps is when the monkeys prance.... you know? If I stop worrying will it happen? Then I think. STOP!! I know I have to be in today. I know I have to focus on me. I get caught up sometimes worrying, thinking, pondering... tomorrow. on...	Michelle814	8	4393	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	Trying to not be afraid (Preview) Im learning so much in coming here and f2f meetings, my sponsor, my counselor, & a couple close friends that have lived through their journey of loving an A. I recently set boundaries with my Abf. And in part of it was ending the relationship until he enters recovery. Nothing changes if nothing c...	KeepingFaith	6	478	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	oh sleep, gentle sleep! (Preview) Searching for a good nights' sleep still. Got some new meds. Hope they work--actually a different version of the same I am taking now. I am doing much better--I finally talked to my dad Thursday. He is doing the best to be expected I guess. He wants me to come down & spend a week or almost a month w/ him....	Hoot Nanny	3	532	Nov 13, 2011 by tommyecat
	I feel like I've slipped (Preview) I'm going through a bad day dealing with anger and resentment at my AH, along with anger at myself for not being strong enough. I'm separated from AH, but we're still close in that he spends a large part of the weekend with me and our son. He's been sober since September after getting out of rehab. This f...	nyc018	12	491	Nov 13, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Passive Agressive - vent (Preview) My AH and I spent the day together and had a nice time for the most part. I'm a little irritated at the moment (better for me to put it down here than to act out how I want too .. LOL) being woken up at the crack of dawn. He spent the evening in the ER .. THAT didn't make me happy as he could have gone to a dang dr ins...	Pushka	13	620	Nov 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Just did an inventory about Tuesday... (Preview) and I haven't felt self hatred and disgust since I don't know when. My VA/AA counselor told me years ago that when my time was all done that if I found that I had progressed 1/4" (a quarter inch) in recovery then I should be satisfied and my self righteous self said...uh uh Bill, I'll be miles away fr...	Jerry F	15	807	Nov 12, 2011 by hiflying1
	Resentment... (Preview) How do I get rid of all this hate and resentment????? Every single night lately I can't sleep because I have all these thoughts in my mind of all the things that are bothering me and all the reasons why I resent my Abf... I find myself laying in bed next to him, discusted to even look at him.. I love him but I s...	kris10	25	914	Nov 12, 2011 by kris10
	What had me most trapped (Preview) I knew it then and I know it now. It was a combo of hating myself and being afraid to be alone. For me, I would rather be with someone I couldn't stand at that point than to be alone. When alone, I had to think about myself. I had to really ponder my situation and where my life did not go as planned. I had to f...	pinkchip	14	817	Nov 12, 2011 by orchidlover
	Thanks To All The Veterans (Preview) Today is Veterans Day. A day for us to thank all of the Veterans who gave of service and many who paid the ultimate price giving their life for their country and our freedom. My late brother was one of them. He was a Marine, once a Marine always a Marine. The few the proud the Marines. His motto: Semper Fi...	RLC	8	485	Nov 12, 2011 by tommyecat
	15 Years and counting - and at a Cross Road (Preview) I just found this message board, I have read posts that I can completely relate too, I just haven't taken that step and gone to a Family Group meeting. I have been married 15 years with two wonderful sons, and have been living with alcoholism for over 11 years of it, and I find myself at a cross road. Can I...	Lilbearz	12	574	Nov 12, 2011 by Truly Grateful
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.