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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Reminded ...
Post Info TOPIC: Reminded ...
rrib


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Reminded ...
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Deblyn's post a few days ago Well do you love them????? reminded me that I do much better when I remember to be grateful for what I have. And of something I'd read, an excerpt from the book Awakening In Time by Jacquelyn Small. Kat and I liked is so much, we included it at our wedding. Not that we remember to practice any of this stuff ... but Deblyn's post reminded me of this so I thought I'd dig it up and share it.

The Law of Right Relationship: To unconditionally love and honor each other as equal beings is the highest freedom.

TEN RULES FOR RELATIONSHIPS OF THE HEART

RULE 1: Love manifests as freedom to be oneself, not as the bondage of trying to be someone we are not.

RULE 2: Always tell your partner the truth.

RULE 3: No one is ever simply "right" or "wrong"; rather, we all receive lessons in how to remain conscious and responsible human beings.

RULE 4: We all have similar feelings and needs; our storylines are the divergent part.

RULE 5: No one else is responsible for turning us on; getting "turned on" is an inside job!

RULE 6: Don't let the experience of joy or contentment take you down.

RULE 7: Aloneness belongs in relationships alongside togetherness.

RULE 8: We grow more from being recognized as having a positive trait than we do from being criticized for having a negative one.

RULE 9: Paradox is the name of the game in relationship; the more I need, the less I can have.

RULE 10: In relationships where both people envision ever-expanding love and deepening purpose, the vision becomes reality.

 



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hotrod


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Thanks RRIB

Great thoughts to ponder and implement

 I can see how alanon tools can point us in these positive directions

 



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

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kris10


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I really like rule number 9!!! Thanks for sharing!

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Kristen

Jerry F


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copied that!!...printed same...Refrigerator door still has room.  (((hugs))) smile



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GailMichelle


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I get all the rules and agree with them. However, #6 confuses me. Can someone enlighten me? Little dense tonight

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Debilyn


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thankyou rrib. these are wonderful. I like the one about aloness. I learned in a book called,"Commentaries on Living," By Krishamurti about aloness.

good book. Also,"The Prophet," By Kahil Gibran is good in describing our separateness and how we come together.

hugs,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Pushka


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Hugs,

Thank you for the share I'm going to print this one out and put it on the fridge too!!

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
tommyecat


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Thanks for sharing rrib! 



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pinkchip


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All of those are truisms I believe

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rrib


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GailMichelle wrote:

#6 confuses me. Can someone enlighten me?

See this around A.A. all the time. Someone comes in, starts getting sober, takes care of all the left over problems. And as soon as everything becomes 'rosey' it's like they shoot themselves in the foot. Like no turmoil and drama in life just leaves them feeling too empty. And the cycle repeats .... 



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Debilyn


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In my experience number 6 is more for the A. A's usually have very low self est eem. Its almost  symptom of the disease.

They cannot accept  things that are good well, a new house,new job, happiness, contentment.They honestly do not feel they deserve it and or they are afraid it will all go away anyway.

Many have have lost everything, they get things back by hard work, but inside they know they are a drink away from losting it all again.I have heart they cannot handle success.

Remember a slogan says keep it simple.Most A's in recovery have a certain routine they get into that is the best way for them not to use. They feel very uncomfortable deviating from that. They do not  like the unknown. I called it tunnel vision. But for them it is ok.

Even a trip to the beach or camping can freak them out. Even though they are on program, they would be out of their element and not know where to get their booze, or where to drink it. Or whatever drug they do.

Keep it simple is a major thing for an A in recovery.

love,debilyn who thought about this a lot last night.

 



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Jackie11


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Debilyn wrote:

In my experience number 6 is more for the A. A's usually have very low self est eem. Its almost  symptom of the disease.

They cannot accept  things that are good well, a new house,new job, happiness, contentment.They honestly do not feel they deserve it and or they are afraid it will all go away anyway.

 WOW light bulbs just went off in my head. Thank you for sharing this!!! I appreciated the 10 rules as well, so helpful!!



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Lindaoakford


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I am not an alcoholic but I can relate deeply with number 6.


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GailMichelle


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rrib wrote:
GailMichelle wrote:

#6 confuses me. Can someone enlighten me?

See this around A.A. all the time. Someone comes in, starts getting sober, takes care of all the left over problems. And as soon as everything becomes 'rosey' it's like they shoot themselves in the foot. Like no turmoil and drama in life just leaves them feeling too empty. And the cycle repeats .... 

 Thanks for taking the time to explain.  I get it  smile

Actually, I used to shoot myself in the foot too!  I'm not alcoholic.  But I was raised by a mother who always waited for the other shoe to drop.  I learned by observing her.  She must have learned it from her parents.  It took me many years of therapy to realize that I didn't have to live that way. 

YES!  You can unlearn undesirably behaviors! 



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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt
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