Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

My estranged AH is back home after a work trip. I, of course, am out of the house and have been doing really well focusing on my own life and staying detached. I'm finding myself obsessing again. The man did horrible things to me; I don't want him back. I don't want to call him or see him. I'm not even upse...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all....having a rough week. Praying for some clarity and serenity into what I should do about my ex ABF who is still part of my life and still an active drinker. I have been praying for some kind of answer to come over me and I am pretty sure I do not want him to be part of my life anymore. This devistates me i...

AsphyxiateOnMisery · AsphyxiateOnMisery

Well I've been coming to meetings for the past couple of weeks now and the thing I find hardest to understand is how to connect with a higher power being agnostic. I know it's not a religious program and I know that my higher power can be a bookcase if I want it to be, but I find it kind of hard to do the 12 steps i...

silent · silent

things went well fri.nite with me and him,but come saturday or today,he had to have a pain pill ,all his connections here are all gone either mostly dead ,and the only one person he had told him no nomore she is disabled severely and got told on so now she has cut him off,but he managed to think up someone th...

Tigger · Tigger

I have been reading an old thread from last year, anf it has been helping me to get some things clear. I have just read what white rabbit said about sponsorship: "Recovery is at your own pace. I had a sponsor for a full year before I was ready to tackle the steps. I was stuck on Steps 1 and 2 forever, and t...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi,This morning I woke from a deep sleep, with the sudden realisation, that I am where I am because of me. Not from anyone/anything else. Soley from the choices I have made for my life. In the Laundry List book Step 5 reads - We admitted to our Higher Power, To Ourselves and to another human being the ex...

marcys1313 · marcys1313

I need some help. My parents are both considerable drinkers (dad 8-9 beers per day and mom 3-5 glasses of wine). I have spent my life always having the alcohol and drugs put before me, and now that i am an adult, i am terrified of ending up the same way. I have worked my butt off getting where i am and i don'...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I grew up in a mentally ill home, escaped to chaotic relationships, jumped from one to the next for decades. Had long periods of celibacy where I felt incredibly lonely, despondent and abandoned. So there was never much semblance of balance in my life. Skip to 5 years since I left the ex A (anniversary...

Augustus · Augustus

I am desperate! I do not know what to do....she is tearing me apart! I have my compassion and my oath of "in sickness and in health" as well as my Catholicism on one side and her morphine, tramadol, oxycotin addiction on the other as well as ones I may not be aware of. She is mean to me. She is cond...

Fina · Fina

I've tried several times to get ahold of John, whom, I've been told, is in charge of the rooms here. I'd like very much to chair one of the chairless meetings in Alanon. Please let me know how to proceed. Fina.

silent · silent

and him and me knowing he has given me this awful std that he isnt planning on getting rid of it ,this is really hard ,sex is over with between us and he is gonna just keep spreading it around to whoever when i actually call it off ,im picking up my med for it monday,no sex for 20 days and then have to go back in an...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I had to go to the office where my exAH works and use the fax machine there, since I don't have one and I asked 2 other places that had a fax and they don't let anyone not staff use them. So anyway I was in the office for awhile faxing out forms to different agencies and he comes in the room I am in and starts getti...

Peachy219 · Peachy219

Hi All, I'm new(ish) to all this and I've finally decided to get off the roller coaster, take a giant leap of faith and do what I need to do to get healthy and sane. I left my addict boyfriend (again) last week. I kept trying to find the magic formula of things I could say/do to help/save him. I kept trying to m...

MaryB · MaryB

My husband has been sober for over 2 years. He is on step 10. I have had counselling from his rehab and was discharged a few months ago. I am very proud of my husband and the work he has done BUT I have been getting increasingly unhappy about our financial situation. He has not worked for 3 years - I am bring...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm trying to decide .. LOL .. I have a situation with the kids school, .. I am responsible for homework, rides to and from school and so on. I don't mind that at all .. what I do mind is the 4 nights out of the month as well as 2 weekends I'm still responsible for making sure the homework is done. It's importa...

Aloha · Aloha

I am having so much fun seeing how recovery work continues to remove fear from my life. About a year ago, I posted about my experience with getting up and reading the Al-Anon Preamble in front of a room of around 100 people at the annual Big Island Bash, an AA convention with Al-Anon participation. Well,...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

I have a question . . . I am often tired, can't seem to get enough sleep, lots of aches and pains, very low resiliency (I may feel well enough for a nice hike, or tear through the house cleaning, but then I pay for it the next day by being exhausted). I have tended to explain this away as 'reaction to stress' o...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

That work thing I was worried about earlier in the week, the decision I had to make - turned out it wasn't so difficult. I guess its true, when you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you end up crapping all over today. Sorry. Crude analogy but u get my point I'm sure. Have a wonderful evenin...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Well, AH just left for his appointment at court. This is the sentencing hearing. I have been minding my own business and not asking questions, although I did hand him the checkbook just in case he needs it to pay fines, etc. I said a few nice encouraging words and told him that I would pray for him. He s...

amills4294 · amills4294

Participating in this program has opened up a lot of closed off emotions - many that I really would rather not feel but I know I need to move through them to get past them and see them from the other side. Sometimes this is a very difficult thing to do when others either don't understand the process or don'...

silent · silent

ok,1st off ive been away from alanon for several mths ,no meetings no where near me but been coming here way long time,most of you know me as chinup,ive been really busy with myself and sick son,got back with my ex a/d b/f i split up with him for nearly a year and dum me went and scooped him back up and away fro...

Fina · Fina

Hi and thanks for reading. I've a retread in Al-Anon and am looking for someone to help me work the steps (again). I'm starting step 3 and know how much wiser it is to have someone who isn't my own ego working with me. Let me know if you want more details. And . . . thanks. Fina

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I was just re-reading the questions in the Blueprint For Progress under the topic of Love. I like the quote they have there: I needed love before I even knew what it was. Now that I understand something about it, I need it even more. By loving myself, I not only take care of my own needs, but I lay a foundatio...

cath111 · cath111

I threw my boyfriend of 3 years out the 1st of the month after his behaviour became too abusive and outrageous. He has called a couple times on business and I haven't been very receptive. I expected a call today re something he needs that is still here, but he didn't call. Although I tell myself it's n...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Words god gave me today are gratitude and service. So, service is a great way to show gratitude. Works for me. You all have a nice day now.

NoworNever · NoworNever

Hi all. Last night my finace and I had it out about doing his part around the house. He seems to think that working and being sober is all that is required. He has been sober 20 months and has not smoked cigarettes for 2 months. After 12 years together, I am indeed happy and we have talked of marriage, and I am...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Good morning! Have a great day!

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everybody! I have to say I am very grateful for the Alanon lesson of detachment. It's something I didn't "get" while I was in my relationship, but now that I'm out, it has become VERY useful! My ex RA appears to be living/staying down my street about 500 yards away - this close, despite a 10...

AsphyxiateOnMisery · AsphyxiateOnMisery

So as I've stated in my introduction in a previous thread, I've begun attending meetings (both alanon and naranon) because of my fiancé's heroin addiction. And I just wanted to make this my progress thread on here. Today, I had a therapy appt but I ended up missing it and having to reschedule due to my ow...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am less than 2 months from my move and haven't set up my job or house yet and am lookinglike crazy. All the rentals I call on are wanting to be rented out by May 1 or won't take my dog. I have to stay low so there aren't many and after the divorce I gave up my horses, my house and so much material stuff I will not gi...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Hey all. I wanted to publicly apologize for arguing with mods on this board. It usually takes me a day or two to realize when I acted like a big jerk. Even if I was right about some of my points (which is questionable), Who cares? It is not appropriate to argue with folks that are doing service free of ch...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I see the step board discussions here. do you do the 12 Traditions as well. It would certainly be interesting to see something like that. just food for thought......

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was just thinking that I am still blessed even when I don't feel it or see it! I deserve every blesssing that I receive. Why not me? I am a child of God who is not junk! I have purpose & a real reason to be here. I hope you all know how much you are needed & loved. I have come a long way even before I starte...

robin91 · robin91

Hi, all - I'm a first time poster. My AH and I were just divorced in January. In 2 days it will be final. Over the past few years he was addicted to heroin (and kicked), put our home into forclosure (that I prevented by liquidating retirement funds) and is now drinking almost daily. When we appeared...

pineapple · pineapple

I haven't been here lately as much as I have in the past, or as much as I would like to. I've been dog/house sitting for some friends who are out of the country. But I'm not comfortable leaving my home completely so I've been going back and forth in taxis with food, clothes, and dogs between friend's house i...

living for me · living for me

I've recently (after 3 long years) decided to separate from my husband for 3 months. This has been a decision that is not at all easy to come to for me. I'm a SHM to 2 small kids with 5 pets. Completly financially dependent on my husband for the most part. In any case, after so many years of trying to keep my fa...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Does anyone have experience or thoughts on telling your boss about a spouse's alcoholism? I have an excellent relationship with my boss and have worked with him for nearly 15 years. I'm considering telling him what is going on just so he is aware that I may need to take time out of the office here and ther...

GeneralLee · GeneralLee

Love and hugs to all ya'll. =) Just a page from my diary... 20120417: She bought a bottle of rum yesterday. Told me that she spilt some of it to hide that she drank it. She puked at about 8:20 and went to bed at 8:30. Today, the bottle was ½ full at aobut 10:30 this morning. By 3:00 it was gone except for 1 or...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I just wanted to say one more thing before I peel my eyelids off the computer screen. Thank you to all my friends, especially the ones I didn't know I had until just now. I was feeling a little...I don't know...like I didn't belong. And someone noticed that I was feeling that way and we chit-chatted for a b...

I am lost · I am lost

Will I KNOW, really KNOW when it's time to leave my AH? Will something come over me and I will just know? An epiphany maybe?

member922 · member922

Can someone explain to me the role of a sponsor? I don't know what I would say to one or what the sponsor would do for me. I feel like I can benefit from a therapist, but what does this person do? How do I qualify for one? What would I say to this person? I am not ready for the steps yet. Do they try to convince...

bettyboop · bettyboop

I'm not sure i understand the whole "not having ANY expectations" part. In my situation I certainly have very specific expectations from my alcoholic bf. I think they fall in line with boundaries. Help me understand this...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Last night I arrived at my meeting and as I sat down I asked HP to allow me to learn and to help me share something that might help others. Before the program started the shoe incident came to my mind. Easter weekend on Easter Sunday I got my sdaughter bathed and curled her hair and then it was time to get dres...

Tigger · Tigger

I've just had a really horrible and upsetting experience with a sponsor. I have been coming to alanon just over a year and had the sponsor since november. I am an acoa and don't trust easily (or trust the wrong people!) I have taken risks sharing with her and really worked hard and looked deeply at myself...

bettyboop · bettyboop

After reading the posts here for the last few days, I went to not one but two Al-Anon meetings tonight. I was very anxious and was pretty sure I wold cry through the whole thing...suprinsingly I did not. I listened carefully and learned a few things. I have started to feel better already, in the sense tha...

debbiems · debbiems

Well it happened again, my AS broke the boundries but this time i was strong enough to tell him not to come home. Did pretty good all week with the calls asking for money because he was hungry and had not eaten, (he does not have a job) the last call pulled hard on my heart I didn't give in but it seems like it is...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I've heard the "pendulum" theory - you swing one way for years with no boundaries, then you swing the other way for awhile with "hyper boundaries" then you find the middle. I don't know about others but for me, it never quite lands in the middle. I think that's because I'm always...

nicoleinrecovery · nicoleinrecovery

Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...

I am lost · I am lost

Im new here and I really just need someone to talk too. Here is my background. My father is an alcoholic although my parents divorced since I was 3 (29 yrs ago). My father was also really bad into drugs (crack/cocain). When they divorced my mother, brother and I got a place with my mom's new bf who was also a...

DogMom · DogMom

Hi. I went to my first F2F last week and plan to go again tomorrow. It has been 2 weeks since AH last drinking episode and I feel like I am trying to believe him but deep inside don't believe that he has stopped drinking, maybe for now, but not for good. I do believe he hasn't drank in the 2 weeks but since he i...

orchidlover · orchidlover

So much of evaluating my life is about unentangling what was me and what was the other person. For me one of the principal grief sticking points has been that I grew up in such abuse/neglect and chaos. Since then I think I view everyone else as an adult and me as a child/victim. Now I'm having to see throu...

Pushka · Pushka

Something that I really really really wanted to share from this weekend were two things I heard from the same speaker. We had panels and then breakout sessions, one of the speakers on the panel spoke about what it was to be an emotional drunk and the blackouts that occur with that fix. I had more AHA mom...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Today has been one of those days, I'm sure many of you can relate. For some reason, I am getting irritated at myself because I still don't trust my AH. I have forgiven him for all the crap and for the DUI, but I still find myself struggling with trust issues. My therapist thinks that maybe he hasn't hit hi...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I grew up totally glued to my family. Unsticking myself from them took me decades, moving thousands of miles away. Guess what once I moved from my family since that's all I knew that's all I did. I dated co workers in intrigue, dated next door neighbors (the ex was actually a roommate at one point) dat...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm humbled by how powerful this disease is. Despite attending AA meetings 3 times per week for over 2 years, despite a 30 day stint in an outpatient rehab, despite daily interactions with her sponsor and program people, despite spending this past weekend at a spiritual retreat with other female alc...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Oops. I forgot to put the rest of the post in here. We hear a lot in Al-Anon about unconditional love. Such love makes no demands, exacts no payment, has no expectations. we are free to give it without anticipating or even wanting anything in return because the experience of loving in this way is so rewar...

house cat · house cat

Hi everyone! I'm new here. I went to my first Al-anon meeting this week and found a warm environment, full of loving people. After the meeting, a woman took me aside and talked with me. When I asked her about the lying, she was so nonchalant about it. "oh, lying is just part of the disease.&quo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, I am gaining lots of awreness lately although I do not like what I am seeing I know my Hp would not bring it to me unless he thought I was ready to handle it. I am realising how much I have given my power away. My head is a little clearer and I have really been focusing on my recovery. My ex ABF has been ba...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Lots of changes happening fast! I'm a little anxious, but remembering that these changes are GOOD. And what I am leaving behind is a life that was slowly killing me. Packing up my car with all my earthly belongings today and leaving the home I shared with my AH...f2f meeting, yes I will make the time.....

atheos · atheos

After a year of meetings I guess I finally let my guard down enough for that... At this evening's meeting, I admitted feeling suicidal, and that the only reason I'm not dead is because my sister will need life-long care and I have to stay alive for that. I'm proud of the way my fellow Al-Anon members react...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	AH back in town, here I go obsessing again (Preview) My estranged AH is back home after a work trip. I, of course, am out of the house and have been doing really well focusing on my own life and staying detached. I'm finding myself obsessing again. The man did horrible things to me; I don't want him back. I don't want to call him or see him. I'm not even upse...	Dolly Llama	5	603	Apr 22, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Serenity and Clarity (Preview) Hi all....having a rough week. Praying for some clarity and serenity into what I should do about my ex ABF who is still part of my life and still an active drinker. I have been praying for some kind of answer to come over me and I am pretty sure I do not want him to be part of my life anymore. This devistates me i...	Corgi2	7	465	Apr 22, 2012 by Pushka
	Question about the steps. (Preview) Well I've been coming to meetings for the past couple of weeks now and the thing I find hardest to understand is how to connect with a higher power being agnostic. I know it's not a religious program and I know that my higher power can be a bookcase if I want it to be, but I find it kind of hard to do the 12 steps i...	AsphyxiateOnMisery	9	577	Apr 22, 2012 by Peachy219
	well,here goes for the rest of the story, (Preview) things went well fri.nite with me and him,but come saturday or today,he had to have a pain pill ,all his connections here are all gone either mostly dead ,and the only one person he had told him no nomore she is disabled severely and got told on so now she has cut him off,but he managed to think up someone th...	silent	3	511	Apr 22, 2012 by GailMichelle
	Easy does it (Preview) I have been reading an old thread from last year, anf it has been helping me to get some things clear. I have just read what white rabbit said about sponsorship: "Recovery is at your own pace. I had a sponsor for a full year before I was ready to tackle the steps. I was stuck on Steps 1 and 2 forever, and t...	Tigger	11	612	Apr 22, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Acoa related (Preview) Hi,This morning I woke from a deep sleep, with the sudden realisation, that I am where I am because of me. Not from anyone/anything else. Soley from the choices I have made for my life. In the Laundry List book Step 5 reads - We admitted to our Higher Power, To Ourselves and to another human being the ex...	Tracey C	5	397	Apr 22, 2012 by Breakingfree
	difficulty with parents (Preview) I need some help. My parents are both considerable drinkers (dad 8-9 beers per day and mom 3-5 glasses of wine). I have spent my life always having the alcohol and drugs put before me, and now that i am an adult, i am terrified of ending up the same way. I have worked my butt off getting where i am and i don'...	marcys1313	2	322	Apr 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	balance (Preview) I grew up in a mentally ill home, escaped to chaotic relationships, jumped from one to the next for decades. Had long periods of celibacy where I felt incredibly lonely, despondent and abandoned. So there was never much semblance of balance in my life. Skip to 5 years since I left the ex A (anniversary...	orchidlover	10	1903	Apr 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	maliciously indifferent 2 (Preview) I am desperate! I do not know what to do....she is tearing me apart! I have my compassion and my oath of "in sickness and in health" as well as my Catholicism on one side and her morphine, tramadol, oxycotin addiction on the other as well as ones I may not be aware of. She is mean to me. She is cond...	Augustus	9	660	Apr 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I'm looking for John; want to do service; chairing meetings (Preview) I've tried several times to get ahold of John, whom, I've been told, is in charge of the rooms here. I'd like very much to chair one of the chairless meetings in Alanon. Please let me know how to proceed. Fina.	Fina	1	296	Apr 21, 2012 by lacewing
	he keeps calling me to come and get him (Preview) and him and me knowing he has given me this awful std that he isnt planning on getting rid of it ,this is really hard ,sex is over with between us and he is gonna just keep spreading it around to whoever when i actually call it off ,im picking up my med for it monday,no sex for 20 days and then have to go back in an...	silent	6	569	Apr 21, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	I went to the train station last night and almost boarded to Crazytown! (Preview) I had to go to the office where my exAH works and use the fax machine there, since I don't have one and I asked 2 other places that had a fax and they don't let anyone not staff use them. So anyway I was in the office for awhile faxing out forms to different agencies and he comes in the room I am in and starts getti...	Breakingfree	10	577	Apr 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Reaching out and asking for help (Preview) Hi All, I'm new(ish) to all this and I've finally decided to get off the roller coaster, take a giant leap of faith and do what I need to do to get healthy and sane. I left my addict boyfriend (again) last week. I kept trying to find the magic formula of things I could say/do to help/save him. I kept trying to m...	Peachy219	5	486	Apr 21, 2012 by marcys1313
	New here - need advice (Preview) My husband has been sober for over 2 years. He is on step 10. I have had counselling from his rehab and was discharged a few months ago. I am very proud of my husband and the work he has done BUT I have been getting increasingly unhappy about our financial situation. He has not worked for 3 years - I am bring...	MaryB	10	465	Apr 21, 2012 by marcys1313
	How Important Is It? (Preview) I'm trying to decide .. LOL .. I have a situation with the kids school, .. I am responsible for homework, rides to and from school and so on. I don't mind that at all .. what I do mind is the 4 nights out of the month as well as 2 weekends I'm still responsible for making sure the homework is done. It's importa...	Pushka	10	511	Apr 21, 2012 by likemyheart
	Recovery removing fear (Preview) I am having so much fun seeing how recovery work continues to remove fear from my life. About a year ago, I posted about my experience with getting up and reading the Al-Anon Preamble in front of a room of around 100 people at the annual Big Island Bash, an AA convention with Al-Anon participation. Well,...	Aloha	3	504	Apr 21, 2012 by Pushka
	chronic fatigue (Preview) I have a question . . . I am often tired, can't seem to get enough sleep, lots of aches and pains, very low resiliency (I may feel well enough for a nice hike, or tear through the house cleaning, but then I pay for it the next day by being exhausted). I have tended to explain this away as 'reaction to stress' o...	Iris lover of dogs	8	423	Apr 21, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	That Wasn't So Bad (Preview) That work thing I was worried about earlier in the week, the decision I had to make - turned out it wasn't so difficult. I guess its true, when you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you end up crapping all over today. Sorry. Crude analogy but u get my point I'm sure. Have a wonderful evenin...	Wolfie55	3	343	Apr 21, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Court Day Today for AH (Preview) Well, AH just left for his appointment at court. This is the sentencing hearing. I have been minding my own business and not asking questions, although I did hand him the checkbook just in case he needs it to pay fines, etc. I said a few nice encouraging words and told him that I would pray for him. He s...	ilovedogs	5	455	Apr 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	all kinds of emotions flooding back (Preview) Participating in this program has opened up a lot of closed off emotions - many that I really would rather not feel but I know I need to move through them to get past them and see them from the other side. Sometimes this is a very difficult thing to do when others either don't understand the process or don'...	amills4294	7	449	Apr 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	HELP ME,give me peace (Preview) ok,1st off ive been away from alanon for several mths ,no meetings no where near me but been coming here way long time,most of you know me as chinup,ive been really busy with myself and sick son,got back with my ex a/d b/f i split up with him for nearly a year and dum me went and scooped him back up and away fro...	silent	6	425	Apr 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	Seeking a Step Sponsor (Preview) Hi and thanks for reading. I've a retread in Al-Anon and am looking for someone to help me work the steps (again). I'm starting step 3 and know how much wiser it is to have someone who isn't my own ego working with me. Let me know if you want more details. And . . . thanks. Fina	Fina	3	333	Apr 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Love (Preview) I was just re-reading the questions in the Blueprint For Progress under the topic of Love. I like the quote they have there: I needed love before I even knew what it was. Now that I understand something about it, I need it even more. By loving myself, I not only take care of my own needs, but I lay a foundatio...	Wolfie55	5	461	Apr 20, 2012 by Peachy219
	Having trouble believing it's not personal (Preview) I threw my boyfriend of 3 years out the 1st of the month after his behaviour became too abusive and outrageous. He has called a couple times on business and I haven't been very receptive. I expected a call today re something he needs that is still here, but he didn't call. Although I tell myself it's n...	cath111	6	639	Apr 20, 2012 by Peachy219
	Gratitude & Service (Preview) Words god gave me today are gratitude and service. So, service is a great way to show gratitude. Works for me. You all have a nice day now.	Wolfie55	3	309	Apr 20, 2012 by Pushka
	New here dry drunk housework communication (Preview) Hi all. Last night my finace and I had it out about doing his part around the house. He seems to think that working and being sober is all that is required. He has been sober 20 months and has not smoked cigarettes for 2 months. After 12 years together, I am indeed happy and we have talked of marriage, and I am...	NoworNever	10	5728	Apr 20, 2012 by nmike
	Happy Thursday (Preview) Good morning! Have a great day!	Wolfie55	5	295	Apr 19, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	detachment AND Fear? (Preview) Hi everybody! I have to say I am very grateful for the Alanon lesson of detachment. It's something I didn't "get" while I was in my relationship, but now that I'm out, it has become VERY useful! My ex RA appears to be living/staying down my street about 500 yards away - this close, despite a 10...	rara avis	12	569	Apr 19, 2012 by Pushka
	My progress thread (Preview) So as I've stated in my introduction in a previous thread, I've begun attending meetings (both alanon and naranon) because of my fiancé's heroin addiction. And I just wanted to make this my progress thread on here. Today, I had a therapy appt but I ended up missing it and having to reschedule due to my ow...	AsphyxiateOnMisery	11	895	Apr 19, 2012 by AsphyxiateOnMisery
	I need a new job, house and attitude! (Preview) I am less than 2 months from my move and haven't set up my job or house yet and am lookinglike crazy. All the rentals I call on are wanting to be rented out by May 1 or won't take my dog. I have to stay low so there aren't many and after the divorce I gave up my horses, my house and so much material stuff I will not gi...	Breakingfree	10	715	Apr 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Apologies - update on me (Preview) Hey all. I wanted to publicly apologize for arguing with mods on this board. It usually takes me a day or two to realize when I acted like a big jerk. Even if I was right about some of my points (which is questionable), Who cares? It is not appropriate to argue with folks that are doing service free of ch...	pinkchip	14	694	Apr 19, 2012 by pinkchip
	You know What Would Be really cool? (Preview) I see the step board discussions here. do you do the 12 Traditions as well. It would certainly be interesting to see something like that. just food for thought......	Wolfie55	12	526	Apr 19, 2012 by Wolfie55
	why me? or why not me? (Preview) I was just thinking that I am still blessed even when I don't feel it or see it! I deserve every blesssing that I receive. Why not me? I am a child of God who is not junk! I have purpose & a real reason to be here. I hope you all know how much you are needed & loved. I have come a long way even before I starte...	Hoot Nanny	4	287	Apr 19, 2012 by Jerry F
	Living with AH after divorce. Need suggestions (Preview) Hi, all - I'm a first time poster. My AH and I were just divorced in January. In 2 days it will be final. Over the past few years he was addicted to heroin (and kicked), put our home into forclosure (that I prevented by liquidating retirement funds) and is now drinking almost daily. When we appeared...	robin91	23	761	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	checking in (Preview) I haven't been here lately as much as I have in the past, or as much as I would like to. I've been dog/house sitting for some friends who are out of the country. But I'm not comfortable leaving my home completely so I've been going back and forth in taxis with food, clothes, and dogs between friend's house i...	pineapple	13	600	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	Telling the truth (Preview) I've recently (after 3 long years) decided to separate from my husband for 3 months. This has been a decision that is not at all easy to come to for me. I'm a SHM to 2 small kids with 5 pets. Completly financially dependent on my husband for the most part. In any case, after so many years of trying to keep my fa...	living for me	4	525	Apr 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Tell employer? (Preview) Does anyone have experience or thoughts on telling your boss about a spouse's alcoholism? I have an excellent relationship with my boss and have worked with him for nearly 15 years. I'm considering telling him what is going on just so he is aware that I may need to take time out of the office here and ther...	usedtobeanyer	19	934	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	Its scary when they start drinking and driving again (Preview) Love and hugs to all ya'll. =) Just a page from my diary... 20120417: She bought a bottle of rum yesterday. Told me that she spilt some of it to hide that she drank it. She puked at about 8:20 and went to bed at 8:30. Today, the bottle was ½ full at aobut 10:30 this morning. By 3:00 it was gone except for 1 or...	GeneralLee	26	1168	Apr 19, 2012 by hotrod
	You Know Who You Are (Preview) I just wanted to say one more thing before I peel my eyelids off the computer screen. Thank you to all my friends, especially the ones I didn't know I had until just now. I was feeling a little...I don't know...like I didn't belong. And someone noticed that I was feeling that way and we chit-chatted for a b...	Wolfie55	8	446	Apr 19, 2012 by living for me
	question (Preview) Will I KNOW, really KNOW when it's time to leave my AH? Will something come over me and I will just know? An epiphany maybe?	I am lost	13	513	Apr 19, 2012 by Auntyaya
	Sponsors (Preview) Can someone explain to me the role of a sponsor? I don't know what I would say to one or what the sponsor would do for me. I feel like I can benefit from a therapist, but what does this person do? How do I qualify for one? What would I say to this person? I am not ready for the steps yet. Do they try to convince...	member922	16	6725	Apr 18, 2012 by Tigger
	NO expectations? (Preview) I'm not sure i understand the whole "not having ANY expectations" part. In my situation I certainly have very specific expectations from my alcoholic bf. I think they fall in line with boundaries. Help me understand this...	bettyboop	16	4921	Apr 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Those A-Ha moments... (Preview) Last night I arrived at my meeting and as I sat down I asked HP to allow me to learn and to help me share something that might help others. Before the program started the shoe incident came to my mind. Easter weekend on Easter Sunday I got my sdaughter bathed and curled her hair and then it was time to get dres...	Jackie11	7	492	Apr 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Hurtful sponsor experience (Preview) I've just had a really horrible and upsetting experience with a sponsor. I have been coming to alanon just over a year and had the sponsor since november. I am an acoa and don't trust easily (or trust the wrong people!) I have taken risks sharing with her and really worked hard and looked deeply at myself...	Tigger	12	848	Apr 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	So starts MY journey... (Preview) After reading the posts here for the last few days, I went to not one but two Al-Anon meetings tonight. I was very anxious and was pretty sure I wold cry through the whole thing...suprinsingly I did not. I listened carefully and learned a few things. I have started to feel better already, in the sense tha...	bettyboop	8	463	Apr 18, 2012 by living for me
	Broken boundries again, kicked him out (Preview) Well it happened again, my AS broke the boundries but this time i was strong enough to tell him not to come home. Did pretty good all week with the calls asking for money because he was hungry and had not eaten, (he does not have a job) the last call pulled hard on my heart I didn't give in but it seems like it is...	debbiems	7	938	Apr 18, 2012 by living for me
	Setting Boundaries for me is a process (Preview) I've heard the "pendulum" theory - you swing one way for years with no boundaries, then you swing the other way for awhile with "hyper boundaries" then you find the middle. I don't know about others but for me, it never quite lands in the middle. I think that's because I'm always...	AStrongerMe	6	636	Apr 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	Big step in Recovery, Senior Project. (Preview) Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...	nicoleinrecovery	3	510	Apr 18, 2012 by Jerry F
	Newbie (Preview) Im new here and I really just need someone to talk too. Here is my background. My father is an alcoholic although my parents divorced since I was 3 (29 yrs ago). My father was also really bad into drugs (crack/cocain). When they divorced my mother, brother and I got a place with my mom's new bf who was also a...	I am lost	9	554	Apr 18, 2012 by nine
	New Here...Waiting for the Next Time (Preview) Hi. I went to my first F2F last week and plan to go again tomorrow. It has been 2 weeks since AH last drinking episode and I feel like I am trying to believe him but deep inside don't believe that he has stopped drinking, maybe for now, but not for good. I do believe he hasn't drank in the 2 weeks but since he i...	DogMom	11	529	Apr 18, 2012 by nine
	a new metaphor (Preview) So much of evaluating my life is about unentangling what was me and what was the other person. For me one of the principal grief sticking points has been that I grew up in such abuse/neglect and chaos. Since then I think I view everyone else as an adult and me as a child/victim. Now I'm having to see throu...	orchidlover	7	493	Apr 18, 2012 by ilovedogs
	I'm an emotional drunk .. (Preview) Something that I really really really wanted to share from this weekend were two things I heard from the same speaker. We had panels and then breakout sessions, one of the speakers on the panel spoke about what it was to be an emotional drunk and the blackouts that occur with that fix. I had more AHA mom...	Pushka	15	3498	Apr 18, 2012 by pineapple
	Hate how I'm feeling today! (Preview) Today has been one of those days, I'm sure many of you can relate. For some reason, I am getting irritated at myself because I still don't trust my AH. I have forgiven him for all the crap and for the DUI, but I still find myself struggling with trust issues. My therapist thinks that maybe he hasn't hit hi...	ilovedogs	9	599	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	enmeshment (Preview) I grew up totally glued to my family. Unsticking myself from them took me decades, moving thousands of miles away. Guess what once I moved from my family since that's all I knew that's all I did. I dated co workers in intrigue, dated next door neighbors (the ex was actually a roommate at one point) dat...	orchidlover	6	669	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	It just goes on and on... (Preview) I'm humbled by how powerful this disease is. Despite attending AA meetings 3 times per week for over 2 years, despite a 30 day stint in an outpatient rehab, despite daily interactions with her sponsor and program people, despite spending this past weekend at a spiritual retreat with other female alc...	usedtobeanyer	14	906	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	I Think That's About Enough For Me (Preview) Oops. I forgot to put the rest of the post in here. We hear a lot in Al-Anon about unconditional love. Such love makes no demands, exacts no payment, has no expectations. we are free to give it without anticipating or even wanting anything in return because the experience of loving in this way is so rewar...	Wolfie55	5	602	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Lying (Preview) Hi everyone! I'm new here. I went to my first Al-anon meeting this week and found a warm environment, full of loving people. After the meeting, a woman took me aside and talked with me. When I asked her about the lying, she was so nonchalant about it. "oh, lying is just part of the disease.&quo...	house cat	18	777	Apr 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	trying to own my power (Preview) Hi All, I am gaining lots of awreness lately although I do not like what I am seeing I know my Hp would not bring it to me unless he thought I was ready to handle it. I am realising how much I have given my power away. My head is a little clearer and I have really been focusing on my recovery. My ex ABF has been ba...	Tracy	4	448	Apr 17, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Moving Day ACK! (Preview) Lots of changes happening fast! I'm a little anxious, but remembering that these changes are GOOD. And what I am leaving behind is a life that was slowly killing me. Packing up my car with all my earthly belongings today and leaving the home I shared with my AH...f2f meeting, yes I will make the time.....	Dolly Llama	6	623	Apr 17, 2012 by hotrod
	I finally cried at a meeting (Preview) After a year of meetings I guess I finally let my guard down enough for that... At this evening's meeting, I admitted feeling suicidal, and that the only reason I'm not dead is because my sister will need life-long care and I have to stay alive for that. I'm proud of the way my fellow Al-Anon members react...	atheos	10	565	Apr 17, 2012 by Dolly Llama
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.