Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Temple · Temple

It takes an enormous amount of energy to be angry or upset or blaming. The cat sprayed my bedspread this morning. Usually I want to kill him when this happens. Today, I thought, well, he was trying to get me up, and the other kitty was in and he may have been afraid he'd get jumped if he went to the sandbo...

Temple · Temple

I keep reading "It's a disease." I think it's easier for me to think of it as a genetic condition, but that is way beside the point, which is around here someplace. There have been so many good, thought-provoking posts of late and one that really helped me was Dolly Llama's about how all the a...

Yvr · Yvr

This is my first post on any Internet forum, I don't know if this is appropriate place but anyway... I lost my mother 3 months ago to cirrhosis, she was 65. I'm having real trouble trying to convey the emotions I have about this. I feel the closest thing for me to compare it to is losing a parent to suicide, i...

Violla · Violla

I have been dating a recovering alcoholic for the past year and a half. He has been part of the AA program for the past 12 years. He attends 3-5 evening meetings a week, including a Big Book Study with his guy friends and his home group meeting. Many a weekend nights I have spent alone because of him atten...

peregrinator · peregrinator

Hello, all, this will be my first post to this board, but I have been "lurking" here for several months (I guess I'm shy.) I'll try to give some backstory without going on too long: I was in a relationship with an active alcoholic for 3 years (there's alcoholism - denied and swept under the ru...

sookie · sookie

UGH. My separated AH's life just sprials out of control again. Last night he got drunk and stepped out in front of a CAR. He was taken to the ER and now has a fractured rib and staples in his head. God knows what will be in the paper tomorrow (and he is on probation for 2 DUIs). It just never ends. I knew somethi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know he will have only been gone for 48 hours but I am not ready for AH to get home in the AM from jail. He will be home tomorrow during the day and then has to go back for the last night before they release him. I am nervous and don't know what to expect. I would like to think that he'll be humble and a bit depr...

littlehawk · littlehawk

My inner voice is probably the worst enemy I have. It feeds the codependence triggered by my alcoholic. So here I am, up late and trying to catch myself before I relapse. So far, my A has been sober (this time) for 21 days. So this isn't about drinking, but I think I just witnessed her get triggered. And I ca...

shandi1966 · shandi1966

My boyfriend has relapsed. Hasn't used in 5 days or so he says. How do I deal with this extreme fear and anxiety that he is going to use again. I know with my brain that he is going to. It doesn't matter if he does or doesn't, I didn't cause it and I can't cure it. I know all this stuff but my heart is broken. I have...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I think my AH just looks for things that upset me and push push push !!!! I am having a hard moment ... but am deep breathing through the insanity !!!!!!!!!!!

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I attended an AA meeting this evening with my husband. As I listened to those who spoke, including a member that began that topic of "surrender," I realized on a deeper level that the alcoholic seeks recovery when they are ready. Everyone's bottom, those who spoke, was different. But wh...

aroundmulberrybush · aroundmulberrybush

I can't believe I'm going around the mulberry bush again... My brother was an alcoholic, and died an alcoholic in November/2010. My family did everything we could to 'try to save him' but he really never wanted to stop drinking and deluded himself into believing he was a 'problem drinker' but not an...

Overcome · Overcome

Is anyone else having problems getting into the MIP Chat/Meeting room this morning? I keep getting a message that says: "startup error: java.lang.Error:unable to load interface pixx: java.lang.SecurityException:trusted loader attempted to load sandboxed resource..." I can get...

CDK · CDK

Talking it out. A little back story. My A and I dated 4.5 years.. Off and on, of course. For the last year or so, I began working on myself, attending therapy, and trying to understand codependency. About a month ago, I flipped out because I could no longer deny how toxic he was for me, and I for him. I just st...

LeahC · LeahC

I have been making more posts on here lately because things are just not good at all right now at home. I'm furious and frustrated and a variety of emotions. I'm just letting it out here because you people are the only ones who seem to understand what I'm going through. telling my alcoholic boyfriend th...

CDK · CDK

Hi. Im still spinning. I tried to do something nice for myself yesterday, and took myself out for dinner. Well, I ended up crying in the restaurznt. I managed to get myself home, and I felt like I was just going to break into a million pieces. I tried to call a name on my al ankn contact list, but it was like 10...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I have come to think of you as my friends.. I share the most intemiate thoughts and cherish your "un"advice and support. I am so excited. I have been working an buying a place. The starting price 3 yrs ago was $110k. I cant afford that so, I let them list with realator. When it didnt sell they ph...

rehprof · rehprof

so, the exA gets back in town after a month road tripping to Vegas. He attended son's baseball game (first time he'd seen his son in weeks) -- and he was wasted. I was not at the game, as I was working. Heard about his condition from others. I get home after work and the game to find a large screen TV that exAH...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Gosh, that's so hard to admit. This AM I was trying to be helpful and gave AH 2 rolls of quarters for his jail time. He claimed he only needed ones but I told him that maybe a roll of quarters might help in case the machine spit out the dollar bills. He didn't seem too grateful and I realized I was sticking m...

LiveLaughLove · LiveLaughLove

Hi everyone, It has been less than I week since my ABF had his last major incident and realized that he needed to get help getting sober. He has attended AA for the first time in his life and has attended 2 meetings a day since the incident. I am so torn as to what to do. I know that I need to take care of myself...

Jeh · Jeh

Hi There, I'm not sure I my husband is the same kind of alcoholic as the typical family member described here. He usually doesn't drink and can sometimes drink in moderation. But about once a month he'll get carried away and drink a huge amount and break promises and be horribly hungover for the next day...

Fina · Fina

6/1/12 Topic~ PERFECTION ~ :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~"My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet." Mahatma Gandhi:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:....

Fina · Fina

Just as the 12 Steps guide the members, the 12 Traditions guide the groups. To prepare for our business meeting, please review the Traditions, listed below. Following the Traditions is a limited agenda for our first-in-a-very-long-time Business Meeting, this Sunday, at 9 pm eastern time. Al-A...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, I recently made a post on here stating how I got a job and was concerned on letting my alcoholic boyfriend, father of my 2 year old, pick up my daughter from day care. He pleaded with me swearing on everything that he would never drink and then drive with her in the car or while watching her. I was...

printig · printig

Something came up that I haven't wanted to talk to my sponsor about, because although it's not gossip and I actually have a genuine dilemma that affects my recovery, it involves other people in our small Alanon community. Some time back, a married man in the program made a pass at me. I rebuffed him and...

brokengirl · brokengirl

My sister is a cocaine addict. She is a love/sex addict and codependent as well. She has 6 yrs clean. I am really proud of her for the 6 years with no drugs or alcohol. She has been married now for a year and her husband is also and addict. He has been clean for maybe a year. Her behaviors/relationship with he...

Debilyn · Debilyn

As we know a non A is different than an A. There are many good things about A's. But sadly the disease, when it really gets in there and damages them, those things go away fast. They call them tin Gods. Let me tell you the boys a lot of us are attracted to were the "bad boys." I think back and they we...

PurpleFlower · PurpleFlower

Hi-I'm new here and need advice about my husband and his drinking-I feel like I am losing my mind and hoping I can get some perspective. I have been with my husband for 4 years and when we started dating we would both have wine every night and I would have never guessed he had any sort of alcohol problem. Aft...

silent · silent

i went on to the beach with my male feind it went good i was soo tensed up ,dont really know why ,i couldnt wait for it to be over with,it seemed he throughly enjoyed it all,he didnt notice me being tense ,i kept it hid,we talked and talked he opened and closed the car door for me everytime,wow never have i bee...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, There is something that I have been struggeling with for so long. I need someone to make sense of this concept for me. So we are not to argue with the alcoholic, or nag, or plea, etc. But what about when they disrespect you? Whether it's drinking related or not? I mean I hope the message isn't to excu...

Jozie · Jozie

I Wonder this Often... Today My Youngest Grandbaby Turned One Year old & seems LIke Yesterday I was Pacing the Halls of the Hospital with her Daddy In my Ear Going Crazy, Taking me with him :) Waiting on her to Arrive... I was Speaking to my Husband today and we got to speaking of my ADad... He said.. &q...

MyBrokenHeart · MyBrokenHeart

A short time ago, I posted about the anguish I'd been going through dealing with my ex-wife. The degradation of the victim-role I put myself in in the vain pursuit of somehow begging and wishing a sick person better. I have since attended a few local Al-Anon meetings and it felt good to meet other peop...

Elizabeth10 · Elizabeth10

What do you do if you know the A is drinking, but don't confront him because you realize it isn't your place? My father is my A, and I am living at home with him and my mother until I graduate college. I used to help her look for the booze, smell him/the room to see if it smelled like liquor, and was basically he...

KLotus · KLotus

I'm sort of checking in. I thank God for this forum, just to air my thoughts if nothing else. Update - Yesterday I sent my AH a text that he could come a bit early to visit our daughter at our house (for those who don't know, we are separated due to his increasing anger/dv). I had my mom pick up my daughter f...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I have one of my kids who I have a very hard time detaching from. Honestly, compared to his "issues" I'm probably the most detached. Short background: He's 13. He's got mental health issues. He's got a genius IQ. He engages in HIGH LEVEL adult and peer manipulation using several self d...

FORGE AHEAD · FORGE AHEAD

Went to my second meeting(at a differnent location)last night. I am realizing that many of the people at these meetings are using the term "detaching with love". eventually it seems they are divorcing the first one and then having the problem again with the second and sometimes third m...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

My A has been diagnosed with severe ADHD, GAD and depression. Which came first, the mental illness or the alcoholism? We'll never know. The doctor has prescribed meds that can't be abused (they are somehow time released into the system and you can't speed that up by crushing the pills or taking mor...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Just last night I prayed to me higher power the same thing as always; give me clarity. let me know if he was unfaithful to me and show me what i need to see. Tonight i got that clarity. i found out that during our four year long relationship he has had another girlfriend for two of those years. he has been lyin...

LeahC · LeahC

Anybody know anything about the anti-craving pill? My boyfriend and father of my 2 year old, has said that his mom has brought this up again. She has been bringing it up off and on for the last couple years about him trying this anti-craving medication for alcoholics. Supposedly it is suppose to take th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Today was a shocker for me, right when I was getting off of work the school counselor called me in for a conference at the end of the school day. The counselor had found a journal entry by accident in one of my daughters books. I am glad she did, but wow! The page said she has cut herself a couple times like her...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I picked a homeless guy D.R. here in this tiny town, to hmmm support. He is a vet. I have talked and listened to him for months now. Gave him two feather comforters, wool gloves, food for his dog etc. He never asks for money, never. But I give him some. Have never, ever seen him drunk. He is younger than me yet...

Ziola · Ziola

My husband is sober and has been for a few years but I think he is a dry drunk. When he gets angry or frustrated he fixates on me and all the things i have or haven't done. He gets irritable, irrational and when I try to speak to him about it, he shuts down and blames me. He says I can't take criticism and won't ac...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Sorry folks. I been underneath the radar. Been a few changes in my life and I had to take care of some stuff. But I'm okay. I've been spending more time with family. And I'm on f-book a lot. Anyone wants to be one of my poking buddies well I can never have too many friends. LOL. I had to leave my job at the recove...

LiveLaughLove · LiveLaughLove

I am new to this forum and new to Al-Anon. "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" I'm sure that this is a common question that many who are in a relationship/marriage with an alcoholic want to find an answer. The man I love is a verbally and emotionally abusive alcoholic but, when he is sober, he is the k...

Chaya · Chaya

I just got out of a 2 year off and on relationship with a recovering alcoholic. He was new to recovery and I was fresh out my marriage-a total disaster from the start, but when two ppl like us met it was magnetic (of course). I've been working in mental health for years but that didn't mean a thing when I ente...

sweeetr · sweeetr

My AH wants us to meet after work last night for dinner. He txted me what I wanted to drink, he seems to always beat me there, my reply "sweet tea". I get there and he has a "drink" and my tea is sitting there with a shot of vodka beside it. I said is that mine ?? he said yes,you use to like...

KLotus · KLotus

My thoughts: How is it that my AH of 3 years can be one year "sober," yet still immature, inconsiderate, manipulative, and full of rage enough to be increasingly more physically aggressive with me? To my knowledge, he has not picked up a single drink. Yet, he ditched AA almost as quickly...

sookie · sookie

I keep reminding myself...why is he like that? Why would a grown man DO that? How does an adult THINK that way--honestly? Because he is an alcoholic! So he will twist everything around to be about him and what a victim HE is and act like a spoiled, selfish child despite the fact he is in his 30's. And he wi...

JoElla74 · JoElla74

Hello, I'm a newbie here and new to Al-Anon. I am a recovering alcholic, 3 1/2 years sober. I attended AA to get sober. I'm married, 7 years and husband is an alcholic. I know only they can decide if they are an alcoholic but he shows all the signs of alcoholism. He's made it clear to me a couple of times t...

Ruhig · Ruhig

I was working with a new client today, when she brings up her alcoholic son in law. [insert typical story... DUI/fines ect..] and I replied "to each his own" she looks me dead in the eye and puts down her lunch, straight faced and says "at 50 years old, don't you think he'd cut it out?&quo...

Ashley89 · Ashley89

Hello everyone, I have just signed up to this group tonight as i feel i need some support, advice and to speak to people who can understand whats going on. I have been with my partner for 7 months. When we first met i had no idea he was an alcoholic, as time past he started to drink more and more i confronted hi...

silent · silent

ive decided to go ahead and go to the beach with this person,reason is i see no harm in it for one and reason he wants to keep me in secret is he keeps all of his lady freinds in secret at 1st just to see if it will work out,so i told him agin on phone that i did not want or need a dateing commitment,lol couldnt have...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I really am coming to think that the boundary stuff is so so crucial but its also a way to forgive yourself for being with the A in the first place. If you have no boundaries it isn't your fault. We are supposed to learn them in childhood. Some of us didn't do that. Now that I am so aware of boundaries I am rea...

CDK · CDK

Morning everyone. I hope everyone has a good day today. Im off work, and alone. Im really struggling. I cant eat really. It sounds stupid, but Im really having a hard time. I try to eat, but I cant seem to finish anything. I just gag. Everything is too much. I know not eating wont fix anything or make it all g...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, so much stuff going on around me my son gone to spain and has started dating a girl and YES her mum is an alcoholic. he caught her kissing some one else last week and has now gone back to her. i do not know the details and anyway it is none of my business he is 19. then my abf son has had trouble by where he...

Elizabeth10 · Elizabeth10

Hello, everyone! I've been attending "real" Al-Anon meetings since the middle of January. They have already helped me grow tremendously and meet amazing, inspiring people. My father is the A, and he was sober for about 10 years before he relapsed when I was about 8. He's been on-and-off...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

The June 2012 issue of The Forum has a great article titled, "Getting Off the Emotional Rollercoaster." My favorite exerpt: "The Al-Anon program taught me to focus on me. I learned that changing my behavior was all I could control in my life. The miracle was that the change in my behav...

John · John

Just wanted to land here for a few moments this morning and touch base with all you fine, wonderful people. As some of you know this past 18 months has taken some twist and turns that I never saw coming. Some of which tore me up to a point of despair and made sucking air on some days very hard to keep doing. I m...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I typed this up for myself and copied and pasted it here:I've heard this saying thrown around the rooms of Al Anon many times but I still don't get it. Detaching with love? I just don't understand how to apply it. Right now, I feel like I'm walking around with an angry chip on my shoulder because of his rela...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Well, AH drank this weekend while I was gone. I saw the purchases on our shopper's card online. I had checked it to look for coupons and some of the coupons that came up were for beer, so that tells me he drank. Then, I walked the dog down to the park and saw his empties in the trash cans. Now, they could ha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Insight 3 (Preview) It takes an enormous amount of energy to be angry or upset or blaming. The cat sprayed my bedspread this morning. Usually I want to kill him when this happens. Today, I thought, well, he was trying to get me up, and the other kitty was in and he may have been afraid he'd get jumped if he went to the sandbo...	Temple	1	382	Jun 4, 2012 by Bettina
	Slowly turning the corner (Preview) I keep reading "It's a disease." I think it's easier for me to think of it as a genetic condition, but that is way beside the point, which is around here someplace. There have been so many good, thought-provoking posts of late and one that really helped me was Dolly Llama's about how all the a...	Temple	10	1081	Jun 4, 2012 by Temple
	Coming to terms with mom's death (Preview) This is my first post on any Internet forum, I don't know if this is appropriate place but anyway... I lost my mother 3 months ago to cirrhosis, she was 65. I'm having real trouble trying to convey the emotions I have about this. I feel the closest thing for me to compare it to is losing a parent to suicide, i...	Yvr	6	600	Jun 4, 2012 by Ness
	Dating a 12 year recovering alcoholic (Preview) I have been dating a recovering alcoholic for the past year and a half. He has been part of the AA program for the past 12 years. He attends 3-5 evening meetings a week, including a Big Book Study with his guy friends and his home group meeting. Many a weekend nights I have spent alone because of him atten...	Violla	6	994	Jun 4, 2012 by Violla
	A lurker delurks - in need of others' experiences, encouragement, insights (Preview) Hello, all, this will be my first post to this board, but I have been "lurking" here for several months (I guess I'm shy.) I'll try to give some backstory without going on too long: I was in a relationship with an active alcoholic for 3 years (there's alcoholism - denied and swept under the ru...	peregrinator	6	621	Jun 4, 2012 by orchidlover
	How? Why? When? (Preview) UGH. My separated AH's life just sprials out of control again. Last night he got drunk and stepped out in front of a CAR. He was taken to the ER and now has a fractured rib and staples in his head. God knows what will be in the paper tomorrow (and he is on probation for 2 DUIs). It just never ends. I knew somethi...	sookie	5	598	Jun 4, 2012 by Pushka
	Nervous about him coming home from jail (Preview) I know he will have only been gone for 48 hours but I am not ready for AH to get home in the AM from jail. He will be home tomorrow during the day and then has to go back for the last night before they release him. I am nervous and don't know what to expect. I would like to think that he'll be humble and a bit depr...	ilovedogs	7	655	Jun 4, 2012 by sookie
	Fighting my inner voice (Preview) My inner voice is probably the worst enemy I have. It feeds the codependence triggered by my alcoholic. So here I am, up late and trying to catch myself before I relapse. So far, my A has been sober (this time) for 21 days. So this isn't about drinking, but I think I just witnessed her get triggered. And I ca...	littlehawk	7	702	Jun 4, 2012 by ilovedogs
	extreme anxiety (Preview) My boyfriend has relapsed. Hasn't used in 5 days or so he says. How do I deal with this extreme fear and anxiety that he is going to use again. I know with my brain that he is going to. It doesn't matter if he does or doesn't, I didn't cause it and I can't cure it. I know all this stuff but my heart is broken. I have...	shandi1966	2	786	Jun 4, 2012 by michellelong
	UGH (Preview) I think my AH just looks for things that upset me and push push push !!!! I am having a hard moment ... but am deep breathing through the insanity !!!!!!!!!!!	sweeetr	4	396	Jun 4, 2012 by michellelong
	Listening & Learning (Preview) I attended an AA meeting this evening with my husband. As I listened to those who spoke, including a member that began that topic of "surrender," I realized on a deeper level that the alcoholic seeks recovery when they are ready. Everyone's bottom, those who spoke, was different. But wh...	GailMichelle	7	970	Jun 4, 2012 by Jackie11
	My brother and sister are both alcoholics ... (Preview) I can't believe I'm going around the mulberry bush again... My brother was an alcoholic, and died an alcoholic in November/2010. My family did everything we could to 'try to save him' but he really never wanted to stop drinking and deluded himself into believing he was a 'problem drinker' but not an...	aroundmulberrybush	6	680	Jun 4, 2012 by Oksie
	Problems getting into chat/meeting room 6/3/12 (Preview) Is anyone else having problems getting into the MIP Chat/Meeting room this morning? I keep getting a message that says: "startup error: java.lang.Error:unable to load interface pixx: java.lang.SecurityException:trusted loader attempted to load sandboxed resource..." I can get...	Overcome	1	318	Jun 4, 2012 by TryingToChange
	Trying to calmly figure something out... (Preview) Talking it out. A little back story. My A and I dated 4.5 years.. Off and on, of course. For the last year or so, I began working on myself, attending therapy, and trying to understand codependency. About a month ago, I flipped out because I could no longer deny how toxic he was for me, and I for him. I just st...	CDK	10	657	Jun 4, 2012 by CDK
	Annoyed, frustrated... (Preview) I have been making more posts on here lately because things are just not good at all right now at home. I'm furious and frustrated and a variety of emotions. I'm just letting it out here because you people are the only ones who seem to understand what I'm going through. telling my alcoholic boyfriend th...	LeahC	2	561	Jun 4, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Not doing well (Preview) Hi. Im still spinning. I tried to do something nice for myself yesterday, and took myself out for dinner. Well, I ended up crying in the restaurznt. I managed to get myself home, and I felt like I was just going to break into a million pieces. I tried to call a name on my al ankn contact list, but it was like 10...	CDK	6	604	Jun 4, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	wanted to share a good thing (Preview) I have come to think of you as my friends.. I share the most intemiate thoughts and cherish your "un"advice and support. I am so excited. I have been working an buying a place. The starting price 3 yrs ago was $110k. I cant afford that so, I let them list with realator. When it didnt sell they ph...	sweeetr	2	339	Jun 3, 2012 by Temple
	crazytown (Preview) so, the exA gets back in town after a month road tripping to Vegas. He attended son's baseball game (first time he'd seen his son in weeks) -- and he was wasted. I was not at the game, as I was working. Heard about his condition from others. I get home after work and the game to find a large screen TV that exAH...	rehprof	9	637	Jun 3, 2012 by sookie
	I am not at peace (Preview) Gosh, that's so hard to admit. This AM I was trying to be helpful and gave AH 2 rolls of quarters for his jail time. He claimed he only needed ones but I told him that maybe a roll of quarters might help in case the machine spit out the dollar bills. He didn't seem too grateful and I realized I was sticking m...	ilovedogs	6	640	Jun 3, 2012 by sookie
	New to this and trying to figure things out (Preview) Hi everyone, It has been less than I week since my ABF had his last major incident and realized that he needed to get help getting sober. He has attended AA for the first time in his life and has attended 2 meetings a day since the incident. I am so torn as to what to do. I know that I need to take care of myself...	LiveLaughLove	9	507	Jun 3, 2012 by LiveLaughLove
	Unsure (Preview) Hi There, I'm not sure I my husband is the same kind of alcoholic as the typical family member described here. He usually doesn't drink and can sometimes drink in moderation. But about once a month he'll get carried away and drink a huge amount and break promises and be horribly hungover for the next day...	Jeh	3	402	Jun 3, 2012 by Smukke
	FRIDAY NIGHT (9 PM EASTERN) MEETING TOPIC (Preview) 6/1/12 Topic~ PERFECTION ~ *:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~"My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet." Mahatma Gandhi:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:....**	Fina	1	271	Jun 3, 2012 by Fina
	ALANON BUSINESS MEETING SUNDAY, 6/2 AT 9 PM EASTERN business meeting (Preview) Just as the 12 Steps guide the members, the 12 Traditions guide the groups. To prepare for our business meeting, please review the Traditions, listed below. Following the Traditions is a limited agenda for our first-in-a-very-long-time Business Meeting, this Sunday, at 9 pm eastern time. Al-A...	Fina	1	879	Jun 3, 2012 by Fina
	Venting (Preview) Hello, I recently made a post on here stating how I got a job and was concerned on letting my alcoholic boyfriend, father of my 2 year old, pick up my daughter from day care. He pleaded with me swearing on everything that he would never drink and then drive with her in the car or while watching her. I was...	LeahC	4	609	Jun 3, 2012 by LeahC
	A delicate situation (Preview) Something came up that I haven't wanted to talk to my sponsor about, because although it's not gossip and I actually have a genuine dilemma that affects my recovery, it involves other people in our small Alanon community. Some time back, a married man in the program made a pass at me. I rebuffed him and...	printig	5	609	Jun 3, 2012 by nmike
	Anger at Sister in Recovery (Preview) My sister is a cocaine addict. She is a love/sex addict and codependent as well. She has 6 yrs clean. I am really proud of her for the 6 years with no drugs or alcohol. She has been married now for a year and her husband is also and addict. He has been clean for maybe a year. Her behaviors/relationship with he...	brokengirl	5	527	Jun 3, 2012 by Chaya
	Picking the A's (Preview) As we know a non A is different than an A. There are many good things about A's. But sadly the disease, when it really gets in there and damages them, those things go away fast. They call them tin Gods. Let me tell you the boys a lot of us are attracted to were the "bad boys." I think back and they we...	Debilyn	10	563	Jun 2, 2012 by Chaya
	New Here-is he really an alcoholic? (Preview) Hi-I'm new here and need advice about my husband and his drinking-I feel like I am losing my mind and hoping I can get some perspective. I have been with my husband for 4 years and when we started dating we would both have wine every night and I would have never guessed he had any sort of alcohol problem. Aft...	PurpleFlower	11	717	Jun 2, 2012 by PurpleFlower
	my outing to the beach (Preview) i went on to the beach with my male feind it went good i was soo tensed up ,dont really know why ,i couldnt wait for it to be over with,it seemed he throughly enjoyed it all,he didnt notice me being tense ,i kept it hid,we talked and talked he opened and closed the car door for me everytime,wow never have i bee...	silent	11	809	Jun 2, 2012 by silent
	Disrespect (Preview) Hello, There is something that I have been struggeling with for so long. I need someone to make sense of this concept for me. So we are not to argue with the alcoholic, or nag, or plea, etc. But what about when they disrespect you? Whether it's drinking related or not? I mean I hope the message isn't to excu...	LeahC	8	841	Jun 2, 2012 by LeahC
	Where has the Time Gone... (Preview) I Wonder this Often... Today My Youngest Grandbaby Turned One Year old & seems LIke Yesterday I was Pacing the Halls of the Hospital with her Daddy In my Ear Going Crazy, Taking me with him :) Waiting on her to Arrive... I was Speaking to my Husband today and we got to speaking of my ADad... He said.. &q...	Jozie	2	616	Jun 2, 2012 by Breakingfree
	When they'res more to it. (Preview) A short time ago, I posted about the anguish I'd been going through dealing with my ex-wife. The degradation of the victim-role I put myself in in the vain pursuit of somehow begging and wishing a sick person better. I have since attended a few local Al-Anon meetings and it felt good to meet other peop...	MyBrokenHeart	9	3024	Jun 2, 2012 by Aloha
	When we know they are drinking... (Preview) What do you do if you know the A is drinking, but don't confront him because you realize it isn't your place? My father is my A, and I am living at home with him and my mother until I graduate college. I used to help her look for the booze, smell him/the room to see if it smelled like liquor, and was basically he...	Elizabeth10	7	572	Jun 2, 2012 by Aloha
	Today (Preview) I'm sort of checking in. I thank God for this forum, just to air my thoughts if nothing else. Update - Yesterday I sent my AH a text that he could come a bit early to visit our daughter at our house (for those who don't know, we are separated due to his increasing anger/dv). I had my mom pick up my daughter f...	KLotus	2	488	Jun 1, 2012 by Jackie11
	Need ESH (Preview) I have one of my kids who I have a very hard time detaching from. Honestly, compared to his "issues" I'm probably the most detached. Short background: He's 13. He's got mental health issues. He's got a genius IQ. He engages in HIGH LEVEL adult and peer manipulation using several self d...	AStrongerMe	11	667	Jun 1, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	why do al-anoners seem to keep choosing Alcoholics (Preview) Went to my second meeting(at a differnent location)last night. I am realizing that many of the people at these meetings are using the term "detaching with love". eventually it seems they are divorcing the first one and then having the problem again with the second and sometimes third m...	FORGE AHEAD	11	1021	Jun 1, 2012 by FORGE AHEAD
	A and Mental Illness (Preview) My A has been diagnosed with severe ADHD, GAD and depression. Which came first, the mental illness or the alcoholism? We'll never know. The doctor has prescribed meds that can't be abused (they are somehow time released into the system and you can't speed that up by crushing the pills or taking mor...	surfgirl123	2	501	Jun 1, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Finally got what I aked for (Preview) Just last night I prayed to me higher power the same thing as always; give me clarity. let me know if he was unfaithful to me and show me what i need to see. Tonight i got that clarity. i found out that during our four year long relationship he has had another girlfriend for two of those years. he has been lyin...	Corgi2	9	583	Jun 1, 2012 by Pushka
	Anti-Craving Pill (Preview) Anybody know anything about the anti-craving pill? My boyfriend and father of my 2 year old, has said that his mom has brought this up again. She has been bringing it up off and on for the last couple years about him trying this anti-craving medication for alcoholics. Supposedly it is suppose to take th...	LeahC	8	590	Jun 1, 2012 by Mattie
	My 14 year old proved not perfect finally and I am shocked! (Preview) Today was a shocker for me, right when I was getting off of work the school counselor called me in for a conference at the end of the school day. The counselor had found a journal entry by accident in one of my daughters books. I am glad she did, but wow! The page said she has cut herself a couple times like her...	Breakingfree	7	805	Jun 1, 2012 by Debilyn
	sharing a sad thing (Preview) I picked a homeless guy D.R. here in this tiny town, to hmmm support. He is a vet. I have talked and listened to him for months now. Gave him two feather comforters, wool gloves, food for his dog etc. He never asks for money, never. But I give him some. Have never, ever seen him drunk. He is younger than me yet...	Debilyn	5	554	Jun 1, 2012 by Debilyn
	Dry Drunk and denial (Preview) My husband is sober and has been for a few years but I think he is a dry drunk. When he gets angry or frustrated he fixates on me and all the things i have or haven't done. He gets irritable, irrational and when I try to speak to him about it, he shuts down and blames me. He says I can't take criticism and won't ac...	Ziola	13	2275	May 31, 2012 by LostMama31
	I'm OK (Preview) Sorry folks. I been underneath the radar. Been a few changes in my life and I had to take care of some stuff. But I'm okay. I've been spending more time with family. And I'm on f-book a lot. Anyone wants to be one of my poking buddies well I can never have too many friends. LOL. I had to leave my job at the recove...	Wolfie55	3	365	Jun 1, 2012 by orchidlover
	Should I Stay or Should I Go? (Preview) I am new to this forum and new to Al-Anon. "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" I'm sure that this is a common question that many who are in a relationship/marriage with an alcoholic want to find an answer. The man I love is a verbally and emotionally abusive alcoholic but, when he is sober, he is the k...	LiveLaughLove	6	1269	Jun 1, 2012 by LiveLaughLove
	Second guessing myself (Preview) I just got out of a 2 year off and on relationship with a recovering alcoholic. He was new to recovery and I was fresh out my marriage-a total disaster from the start, but when two ppl like us met it was magnetic (of course). I've been working in mental health for years but that didn't mean a thing when I ente...	Chaya	10	813	May 31, 2012 by Pushka
	watered down tea (Preview) My AH wants us to meet after work last night for dinner. He txted me what I wanted to drink, he seems to always beat me there, my reply "sweet tea". I get there and he has a "drink" and my tea is sitting there with a shot of vodka beside it. I said is that mine ?? he said yes,you use to like...	sweeetr	1	401	May 31, 2012 by glad lee
	Clarity please? (Preview) My thoughts: How is it that my AH of 3 years can be one year "sober," yet still immature, inconsiderate, manipulative, and full of rage enough to be increasingly more physically aggressive with me? To my knowledge, he has not picked up a single drink. Yet, he ditched AA almost as quickly...	KLotus	10	601	May 31, 2012 by orchidlover
	selfish and immature (Preview) I keep reminding myself...why is he like that? Why would a grown man DO that? How does an adult THINK that way--honestly? Because he is an alcoholic! So he will twist everything around to be about him and what a victim HE is and act like a spoiled, selfish child despite the fact he is in his 30's. And he wi...	sookie	5	497	May 31, 2012 by sweeetr
	Don't know where I fit in anymore (Preview) Hello, I'm a newbie here and new to Al-Anon. I am a recovering alcholic, 3 1/2 years sober. I attended AA to get sober. I'm married, 7 years and husband is an alcholic. I know only they can decide if they are an alcoholic but he shows all the signs of alcoholism. He's made it clear to me a couple of times t...	JoElla74	8	463	May 31, 2012 by Pushka
	The family's view (Preview) I was working with a new client today, when she brings up her alcoholic son in law. [insert typical story... DUI/fines ect..] and I replied "to each his own" she looks me dead in the eye and puts down her lunch, straight faced and says "at 50 years old, don't you think he'd cut it out?&quo...	Ruhig	3	471	May 31, 2012 by maryjane
	New here & needing some advice (Preview) Hello everyone, I have just signed up to this group tonight as i feel i need some support, advice and to speak to people who can understand whats going on. I have been with my partner for 7 months. When we first met i had no idea he was an alcoholic, as time past he started to drink more and more i confronted hi...	Ashley89	6	573	May 31, 2012 by Ashley89
	my dicision still learning (Preview) ive decided to go ahead and go to the beach with this person,reason is i see no harm in it for one and reason he wants to keep me in secret is he keeps all of his lady freinds in secret at 1st just to see if it will work out,so i told him agin on phone that i did not want or need a dateing commitment,lol couldnt have...	silent	2	619	May 31, 2012 by silent
	the boundary stuff (Preview) I really am coming to think that the boundary stuff is so so crucial but its also a way to forgive yourself for being with the A in the first place. If you have no boundaries it isn't your fault. We are supposed to learn them in childhood. Some of us didn't do that. Now that I am so aware of boundaries I am rea...	orchidlover	11	771	May 31, 2012 by idontknow
	Will this stop? (Preview) Morning everyone. I hope everyone has a good day today. Im off work, and alone. Im really struggling. I cant eat really. It sounds stupid, but Im really having a hard time. I try to eat, but I cant seem to finish anything. I just gag. Everything is too much. I know not eating wont fix anything or make it all g...	CDK	5	516	May 31, 2012 by Breakingfree
	mind your own business (Preview) Hi all, so much stuff going on around me my son gone to spain and has started dating a girl and YES her mum is an alcoholic. he caught her kissing some one else last week and has now gone back to her. i do not know the details and anyway it is none of my business he is 19. then my abf son has had trouble by where he...	Tracy	4	887	May 31, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Newbie Introduction (Preview) Hello, everyone! I've been attending "real" Al-Anon meetings since the middle of January. They have already helped me grow tremendously and meet amazing, inspiring people. My father is the A, and he was sober for about 10 years before he relapsed when I was about 8. He's been on-and-off...	Elizabeth10	8	507	May 31, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Recommended Article in Al-Anon's "The Forum": My Decision to Get Off the Train (Preview) The June 2012 issue of The Forum has a great article titled, "Getting Off the Emotional Rollercoaster." My favorite exerpt: *"The Al-Anon program taught me to focus on me.* I learned that changing my behavior was all I could control in my life. The miracle was that the change in my behav...**	Green Eyes	3	465	May 31, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Hello Fellow Travelers! (Preview) Just wanted to land here for a few moments this morning and touch base with all you fine, wonderful people. As some of you know this past 18 months has taken some twist and turns that I never saw coming. Some of which tore me up to a point of despair and made sucking air on some days very hard to keep doing. I m...	John	6	617	May 30, 2012 by Oksie
	Loving detachment; help me out here (Preview) I typed this up for myself and copied and pasted it here:I've heard this saying thrown around the rooms of Al Anon many times but I still don't get it. Detaching with love? I just don't understand how to apply it. Right now, I feel like I'm walking around with an angry chip on my shoulder because of his rela...	ilovedogs	12	1856	May 30, 2012 by canadianguy
	He relapsed (Preview) Well, AH drank this weekend while I was gone. I saw the purchases on our shopper's card online. I had checked it to look for coupons and some of the coupons that came up were for beer, so that tells me he drank. Then, I walked the dog down to the park and saw his empties in the trash cans. Now, they could ha...	ilovedogs	10	687	May 30, 2012 by stephaniej
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.