Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

stephaniej · stephaniej

It's been awhile since I've checked in...end of school year rush has given me lots of non-A things to focus on (which is good!). I definitely feel like I'm working my program fairly well, and seeing meaningful results. I've started doing several things that help keep me from obsessing/focusing on...

glad lee · glad lee

"Be committed to the relationship you have with yourself. We get so committed to other relationships, but we sort of toss ourselves away. We get around to ourselves only now and then. So, really care for who you are. Take care of your heart and soul." This was from Louise Hay's faceboo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, went to a small mini convention over the weekend. In the afternoon had the opportunity to hear some AA shares. One gentlemans share was the best share I have ever heard. He spoke how people caled him holy.... He said he looked it up in the dictionary the word Holy and it said wholesome. he s...

jewel91 · jewel91

I wonder were the line is. Exactly where do my boundaries end and chaos and stupidness begins. When do I say when. I love an Alcoholic, that is my problem. The problem doesn't exist just because he's active again, he's been scheming on his next beer for months now... Not wanting any treatment or couns...

beckylee · beckylee

When will I know I'm done?. He's gone seemingly, as happy as a clam. Alone in his small apartment, just far enough so he doesn't have to deal w my and my daughters tears and confusion. When will I know when I'm ready to give up on this wishful thinking. That he will go back to AA. That our family will be restor...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I heard this today, and it really resonated with me. It's something a psychotherapist said to a contestant on The Biggest Loser several years ago, as he spoke about being abused as a child. They talked about the trauma of living that way for so long, and how it colors every single thing you do until you...

barisax · barisax

The second half of the second step is "could restore us to sanity". It doesn't say "could restore us to power". Why do things seem to get even harder when our A gets sober? Maybe we expect them to do it our way. In order recover, the alcoholic has to let go of what doesn't work... the insani...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Here I am complaining about my 2-day vacation. I should feel relaxed & refreshed. I just felt like I needed sleep & more time in the hot tub! I am glad we got away even if it was in a town that I am totally familiar w/ Today is a better day though. It has been Friday since we have been home. I am so glad fo...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

So it has been a week or two since I wrote on here and i just need the reassurance everything is going to be ok. my crack addicted ex is going to rehab tomorrow and it isn't by his choice. After last weekend when I thought I had a full proof plan for him and his daughter to hang out with my friend and her daughter...

flannel81 · flannel81

I am pregnant with my third child and although I am physically well I am emotionally burnt. I can't believe I did - but I asked my husband to leave today. I just can't take the drinking, especially around my children. (both under 5) This obviously is not the 1st time but I have been hoping for his recovery a...

Temple · Temple

Himself very cranky this morning. Yelled once, said something entirely unreasonable and mean in a quieter voice later. I told him that when he is like this nothing I do is ever right to him. And that I hope I don't have to start staying away from him in the morning because I prefer to fix his breakfast (h...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I ship off soon to basic training. I've been through it before, but I am still starting to get nervous. I'm reading other people's experiences and it got my mind spinning. How will I deal with doing all these physical tasks on very little sleep? What if my belongings get stolen? What if my assigned...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, I am figuring out that maybe it is my joints that are killing me not my muscles. I am still waiting to see the rhuematologist soon. I am in the meantime going to live one day at a time--my cousin agrees. I have been emailing her for awhile now & it seems that she is the closest I am going to get to having...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Looking for some ESH from those who have either moved on from a cheating/lying spouse or those who stayed. Words cant explain the pain that I am feeling, but am I crazy for thinking about wanting to work things out? If he lied once wont he keep doing it? As of now were are broken up and clearly marriage is of...

Temple · Temple

I promise to go and lie down for awhile after this one. (Grins) A dear poster, and I'm sorry I don't remember which one, said just a day or two ago that she wouldn't change anything because being married to her A brought her to Alanon and healing (very much a paraphrase.) And I got about half-angry with th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I had over a handful of my great group of gal pals and we had a potluck going away party for me. It was so nice and the love around the table was immense! Every one wished me so much hope and great things on my next season and helped give me the next boost of confidence to get to my next group of friends that can su...

Frank1 · Frank1

Tonight I am sharing at our Al Anon meeting in Falls Church Virginia (Unity Club). My theme is "Al Anon problem solving" . I started my afternoon confused and foggy, worried about a number of problems. Plenty of alcoholism in our extended family background. But right now the issues are no...

Oaklandgal · Oaklandgal

They are not on pgs. 269-270 of the "From Survival to Recovery" Book (Rev. 2007) that I just bought. I found the Promises online and printed them out, and would love to know if they are in this book, just somewhere else? thanks!

FORGE AHEAD · FORGE AHEAD

Anyone that has read my previous post would most likely say, Wow-she is moving fast on these decisions. The fact is, it has been 20years in the making. I am just waking up and finally realizing that I am not the only one that should be responsible for this family. So, the Ultimatum.... Told my AH that he...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Friday was hard. He cried, I cried, we talked a lot. I talked with my RBF that night a long time, I was very depressed, sad, hurt and emotional because I don't care how old our kids get, they are our babies and sending him away was excruciating. RBF made the note that I've made before my son has very simila...

Temple · Temple

OK, they are old ones, but I can very conveniently forget and go back to living my life as if it were a dress rehearsal. Pinkchip got me thinking, and here was my first thought: Whenever I start obsessing about Him and His faults I must remember that I was and am one sick Pussy Cat, else I would never have ma...

Temple · Temple

It takes an enormous amount of energy to be angry or upset or blaming. The cat sprayed my bedspread this morning. Usually I want to kill him when this happens. Today, I thought, well, he was trying to get me up, and the other kitty was in and he may have been afraid he'd get jumped if he went to the sandbo...

Temple · Temple

I keep reading "It's a disease." I think it's easier for me to think of it as a genetic condition, but that is way beside the point, which is around here someplace. There have been so many good, thought-provoking posts of late and one that really helped me was Dolly Llama's about how all the a...

Yvr · Yvr

This is my first post on any Internet forum, I don't know if this is appropriate place but anyway... I lost my mother 3 months ago to cirrhosis, she was 65. I'm having real trouble trying to convey the emotions I have about this. I feel the closest thing for me to compare it to is losing a parent to suicide, i...

Violla · Violla

I have been dating a recovering alcoholic for the past year and a half. He has been part of the AA program for the past 12 years. He attends 3-5 evening meetings a week, including a Big Book Study with his guy friends and his home group meeting. Many a weekend nights I have spent alone because of him atten...

peregrinator · peregrinator

Hello, all, this will be my first post to this board, but I have been "lurking" here for several months (I guess I'm shy.) I'll try to give some backstory without going on too long: I was in a relationship with an active alcoholic for 3 years (there's alcoholism - denied and swept under the ru...

sookie · sookie

UGH. My separated AH's life just sprials out of control again. Last night he got drunk and stepped out in front of a CAR. He was taken to the ER and now has a fractured rib and staples in his head. God knows what will be in the paper tomorrow (and he is on probation for 2 DUIs). It just never ends. I knew somethi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know he will have only been gone for 48 hours but I am not ready for AH to get home in the AM from jail. He will be home tomorrow during the day and then has to go back for the last night before they release him. I am nervous and don't know what to expect. I would like to think that he'll be humble and a bit depr...

littlehawk · littlehawk

My inner voice is probably the worst enemy I have. It feeds the codependence triggered by my alcoholic. So here I am, up late and trying to catch myself before I relapse. So far, my A has been sober (this time) for 21 days. So this isn't about drinking, but I think I just witnessed her get triggered. And I ca...

shandi1966 · shandi1966

My boyfriend has relapsed. Hasn't used in 5 days or so he says. How do I deal with this extreme fear and anxiety that he is going to use again. I know with my brain that he is going to. It doesn't matter if he does or doesn't, I didn't cause it and I can't cure it. I know all this stuff but my heart is broken. I have...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I think my AH just looks for things that upset me and push push push !!!! I am having a hard moment ... but am deep breathing through the insanity !!!!!!!!!!!

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I attended an AA meeting this evening with my husband. As I listened to those who spoke, including a member that began that topic of "surrender," I realized on a deeper level that the alcoholic seeks recovery when they are ready. Everyone's bottom, those who spoke, was different. But wh...

aroundmulberrybush · aroundmulberrybush

I can't believe I'm going around the mulberry bush again... My brother was an alcoholic, and died an alcoholic in November/2010. My family did everything we could to 'try to save him' but he really never wanted to stop drinking and deluded himself into believing he was a 'problem drinker' but not an...

Overcome · Overcome

Is anyone else having problems getting into the MIP Chat/Meeting room this morning? I keep getting a message that says: "startup error: java.lang.Error:unable to load interface pixx: java.lang.SecurityException:trusted loader attempted to load sandboxed resource..." I can get...

CDK · CDK

Talking it out. A little back story. My A and I dated 4.5 years.. Off and on, of course. For the last year or so, I began working on myself, attending therapy, and trying to understand codependency. About a month ago, I flipped out because I could no longer deny how toxic he was for me, and I for him. I just st...

LeahC · LeahC

I have been making more posts on here lately because things are just not good at all right now at home. I'm furious and frustrated and a variety of emotions. I'm just letting it out here because you people are the only ones who seem to understand what I'm going through. telling my alcoholic boyfriend th...

CDK · CDK

Hi. Im still spinning. I tried to do something nice for myself yesterday, and took myself out for dinner. Well, I ended up crying in the restaurznt. I managed to get myself home, and I felt like I was just going to break into a million pieces. I tried to call a name on my al ankn contact list, but it was like 10...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I have come to think of you as my friends.. I share the most intemiate thoughts and cherish your "un"advice and support. I am so excited. I have been working an buying a place. The starting price 3 yrs ago was $110k. I cant afford that so, I let them list with realator. When it didnt sell they ph...

rehprof · rehprof

so, the exA gets back in town after a month road tripping to Vegas. He attended son's baseball game (first time he'd seen his son in weeks) -- and he was wasted. I was not at the game, as I was working. Heard about his condition from others. I get home after work and the game to find a large screen TV that exAH...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Gosh, that's so hard to admit. This AM I was trying to be helpful and gave AH 2 rolls of quarters for his jail time. He claimed he only needed ones but I told him that maybe a roll of quarters might help in case the machine spit out the dollar bills. He didn't seem too grateful and I realized I was sticking m...

LiveLaughLove · LiveLaughLove

Hi everyone, It has been less than I week since my ABF had his last major incident and realized that he needed to get help getting sober. He has attended AA for the first time in his life and has attended 2 meetings a day since the incident. I am so torn as to what to do. I know that I need to take care of myself...

Jeh · Jeh

Hi There, I'm not sure I my husband is the same kind of alcoholic as the typical family member described here. He usually doesn't drink and can sometimes drink in moderation. But about once a month he'll get carried away and drink a huge amount and break promises and be horribly hungover for the next day...

Fina · Fina

6/1/12 Topic~ PERFECTION ~ :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~"My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet." Mahatma Gandhi:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:....

Fina · Fina

Just as the 12 Steps guide the members, the 12 Traditions guide the groups. To prepare for our business meeting, please review the Traditions, listed below. Following the Traditions is a limited agenda for our first-in-a-very-long-time Business Meeting, this Sunday, at 9 pm eastern time. Al-A...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, I recently made a post on here stating how I got a job and was concerned on letting my alcoholic boyfriend, father of my 2 year old, pick up my daughter from day care. He pleaded with me swearing on everything that he would never drink and then drive with her in the car or while watching her. I was...

printig · printig

Something came up that I haven't wanted to talk to my sponsor about, because although it's not gossip and I actually have a genuine dilemma that affects my recovery, it involves other people in our small Alanon community. Some time back, a married man in the program made a pass at me. I rebuffed him and...

brokengirl · brokengirl

My sister is a cocaine addict. She is a love/sex addict and codependent as well. She has 6 yrs clean. I am really proud of her for the 6 years with no drugs or alcohol. She has been married now for a year and her husband is also and addict. He has been clean for maybe a year. Her behaviors/relationship with he...

Debilyn · Debilyn

As we know a non A is different than an A. There are many good things about A's. But sadly the disease, when it really gets in there and damages them, those things go away fast. They call them tin Gods. Let me tell you the boys a lot of us are attracted to were the "bad boys." I think back and they we...

PurpleFlower · PurpleFlower

Hi-I'm new here and need advice about my husband and his drinking-I feel like I am losing my mind and hoping I can get some perspective. I have been with my husband for 4 years and when we started dating we would both have wine every night and I would have never guessed he had any sort of alcohol problem. Aft...

silent · silent

i went on to the beach with my male feind it went good i was soo tensed up ,dont really know why ,i couldnt wait for it to be over with,it seemed he throughly enjoyed it all,he didnt notice me being tense ,i kept it hid,we talked and talked he opened and closed the car door for me everytime,wow never have i bee...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, There is something that I have been struggeling with for so long. I need someone to make sense of this concept for me. So we are not to argue with the alcoholic, or nag, or plea, etc. But what about when they disrespect you? Whether it's drinking related or not? I mean I hope the message isn't to excu...

Jozie · Jozie

I Wonder this Often... Today My Youngest Grandbaby Turned One Year old & seems LIke Yesterday I was Pacing the Halls of the Hospital with her Daddy In my Ear Going Crazy, Taking me with him :) Waiting on her to Arrive... I was Speaking to my Husband today and we got to speaking of my ADad... He said.. &q...

MyBrokenHeart · MyBrokenHeart

A short time ago, I posted about the anguish I'd been going through dealing with my ex-wife. The degradation of the victim-role I put myself in in the vain pursuit of somehow begging and wishing a sick person better. I have since attended a few local Al-Anon meetings and it felt good to meet other peop...

Elizabeth10 · Elizabeth10

What do you do if you know the A is drinking, but don't confront him because you realize it isn't your place? My father is my A, and I am living at home with him and my mother until I graduate college. I used to help her look for the booze, smell him/the room to see if it smelled like liquor, and was basically he...

KLotus · KLotus

I'm sort of checking in. I thank God for this forum, just to air my thoughts if nothing else. Update - Yesterday I sent my AH a text that he could come a bit early to visit our daughter at our house (for those who don't know, we are separated due to his increasing anger/dv). I had my mom pick up my daughter f...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I have one of my kids who I have a very hard time detaching from. Honestly, compared to his "issues" I'm probably the most detached. Short background: He's 13. He's got mental health issues. He's got a genius IQ. He engages in HIGH LEVEL adult and peer manipulation using several self d...

FORGE AHEAD · FORGE AHEAD

Went to my second meeting(at a differnent location)last night. I am realizing that many of the people at these meetings are using the term "detaching with love". eventually it seems they are divorcing the first one and then having the problem again with the second and sometimes third m...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

My A has been diagnosed with severe ADHD, GAD and depression. Which came first, the mental illness or the alcoholism? We'll never know. The doctor has prescribed meds that can't be abused (they are somehow time released into the system and you can't speed that up by crushing the pills or taking mor...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Just last night I prayed to me higher power the same thing as always; give me clarity. let me know if he was unfaithful to me and show me what i need to see. Tonight i got that clarity. i found out that during our four year long relationship he has had another girlfriend for two of those years. he has been lyin...

LeahC · LeahC

Anybody know anything about the anti-craving pill? My boyfriend and father of my 2 year old, has said that his mom has brought this up again. She has been bringing it up off and on for the last couple years about him trying this anti-craving medication for alcoholics. Supposedly it is suppose to take th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I'm Doing Well! (Preview) It's been awhile since I've checked in...end of school year rush has given me lots of non-A things to focus on (which is good!). I definitely feel like I'm working my program fairly well, and seeing meaningful results. I've started doing several things that help keep me from obsessing/focusing on...	stephaniej	5	373	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Self-Care (Preview) "Be committed to the relationship you have with yourself. We get so committed to other relationships, but we sort of toss ourselves away. We get around to ourselves only now and then. So, really care for who you are. Take care of your heart and soul." This was from Louise Hay's faceboo...	glad lee	12	776	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Wholesome. (Preview) Hi everyone, went to a small mini convention over the weekend. In the afternoon had the opportunity to hear some AA shares. One gentlemans share was the best share I have ever heard. He spoke how people caled him holy.... He said he looked it up in the dictionary the word Holy and it said wholesome. he s...	Tracy	2	486	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Too Much Love (Preview) I wonder were the line is. Exactly where do my boundaries end and chaos and stupidness begins. When do I say when. I love an Alcoholic, that is my problem. The problem doesn't exist just because he's active again, he's been scheming on his next beer for months now... Not wanting any treatment or couns...	jewel91	4	549	Jun 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	When will I know? (Preview) When will I know I'm done?. He's gone seemingly, as happy as a clam. Alone in his small apartment, just far enough so he doesn't have to deal w my and my daughters tears and confusion. When will I know when I'm ready to give up on this wishful thinking. That he will go back to AA. That our family will be restor...	beckylee	5	551	Jun 6, 2012 by Mattie
	"You've Survived Your Own Personal War" (Preview) I heard this today, and it really resonated with me. It's something a psychotherapist said to a contestant on The Biggest Loser several years ago, as he spoke about being abused as a child. They talked about the trauma of living that way for so long, and how it colors every single thing you do until you...	stephaniej	2	441	Jun 6, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Step 2 Part 2 (Preview) The second half of the second step is "could restore us to sanity". It doesn't say "could restore us to power". Why do things seem to get even harder when our A gets sober? Maybe we expect them to do it our way. In order recover, the alcoholic has to let go of what doesn't work... the insani...	barisax	6	516	Jun 6, 2012 by Fiona
	vacations aren't all they are cracked up to be! (Preview) Here I am complaining about my 2-day vacation. I should feel relaxed & refreshed. I just felt like I needed sleep & more time in the hot tub! I am glad we got away even if it was in a town that I am totally familiar w/ Today is a better day though. It has been Friday since we have been home. I am so glad fo...	Hoot Nanny	2	451	Jun 6, 2012 by jewel91
	WHY?? When is enough enough and the fustration STOP! (Preview) So it has been a week or two since I wrote on here and i just need the reassurance everything is going to be ok. my crack addicted ex is going to rehab tomorrow and it isn't by his choice. After last weekend when I thought I had a full proof plan for him and his daughter to hang out with my friend and her daughter...	Julie3310	15	842	Jun 6, 2012 by Julie3310
	Life upside down (Preview) I am pregnant with my third child and although I am physically well I am emotionally burnt. I can't believe I did - but I asked my husband to leave today. I just can't take the drinking, especially around my children. (both under 5) This obviously is not the 1st time but I have been hoping for his recovery a...	flannel81	5	466	Jun 6, 2012 by Chaya
	Miracle? (Preview) Himself very cranky this morning. Yelled once, said something entirely unreasonable and mean in a quieter voice later. I told him that when he is like this nothing I do is ever right to him. And that I hope I don't have to start staying away from him in the morning because I prefer to fix his breakfast (h...	Temple	4	657	Jun 5, 2012 by Temple
	Using Al Anon lessons to survive military training! (Preview) I ship off soon to basic training. I've been through it before, but I am still starting to get nervous. I'm reading other people's experiences and it got my mind spinning. How will I deal with doing all these physical tasks on very little sleep? What if my belongings get stolen? What if my assigned...	Dolly Llama	5	757	Jun 5, 2012 by Oksie
	where do I begin? at the beginning (Preview) So, I am figuring out that maybe it is my joints that are killing me not my muscles. I am still waiting to see the rhuematologist soon. I am in the meantime going to live one day at a time--my cousin agrees. I have been emailing her for awhile now & it seems that she is the closest I am going to get to having...	Hoot Nanny	1	420	Jun 5, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Is it possible? (Preview) Looking for some ESH from those who have either moved on from a cheating/lying spouse or those who stayed. Words cant explain the pain that I am feeling, but am I crazy for thinking about wanting to work things out? If he lied once wont he keep doing it? As of now were are broken up and clearly marriage is of...	Corgi2	7	663	Jun 5, 2012 by Corgi2
	Insight 4 (Preview) I promise to go and lie down for awhile after this one. (Grins) A dear poster, and I'm sorry I don't remember which one, said just a day or two ago that she wouldn't change anything because being married to her A brought her to Alanon and healing (very much a paraphrase.) And I got about half-angry with th...	Temple	6	437	Jun 5, 2012 by Bettina
	The last supper was tonight and the Uhaul is tomorrow (Preview) I had over a handful of my great group of gal pals and we had a potluck going away party for me. It was so nice and the love around the table was immense! Every one wished me so much hope and great things on my next season and helped give me the next boost of confidence to get to my next group of friends that can su...	Breakingfree	9	676	Jun 5, 2012 by Pushka
	Confused and foggy and anxious? Some approaches to sort out problems confusion overwhelmed solving problems tiredness Serenity Prayer - practical use of (Preview) Tonight I am sharing at our Al Anon meeting in Falls Church Virginia (Unity Club). My theme is "Al Anon problem solving" . I started my afternoon confused and foggy, worried about a number of problems. Plenty of alcoholism in our extended family background. But right now the issues are no...	Frank1	5	4300	Jun 5, 2012 by littlehawk
	Where are the Al-Anon Promises? (Preview) They are not on pgs. 269-270 of the "From Survival to Recovery" Book (Rev. 2007) that I just bought. I found the Promises online and printed them out, and would love to know if they are in this book, just somewhere else? thanks!	Oaklandgal	4	5737	Jun 5, 2012 by Jerry F
	the ultimatum (Preview) Anyone that has read my previous post would most likely say, Wow-she is moving fast on these decisions. The fact is, it has been 20years in the making. I am just waking up and finally realizing that I am not the only one that should be responsible for this family. So, the Ultimatum.... Told my AH that he...	FORGE AHEAD	18	906	Jun 5, 2012 by Debilyn
	Update on teen son (Preview) Friday was hard. He cried, I cried, we talked a lot. I talked with my RBF that night a long time, I was very depressed, sad, hurt and emotional because I don't care how old our kids get, they are our babies and sending him away was excruciating. RBF made the note that I've made before my son has very simila...	AStrongerMe	1	479	Jun 5, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Two new realizations today (Preview) OK, they are old ones, but I can very conveniently forget and go back to living my life as if it were a dress rehearsal. Pinkchip got me thinking, and here was my first thought: Whenever I start obsessing about Him and His faults I must remember that I was and am one sick Pussy Cat, else I would never have ma...	Temple	4	559	Jun 5, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Insight 3 (Preview) It takes an enormous amount of energy to be angry or upset or blaming. The cat sprayed my bedspread this morning. Usually I want to kill him when this happens. Today, I thought, well, he was trying to get me up, and the other kitty was in and he may have been afraid he'd get jumped if he went to the sandbo...	Temple	1	422	Jun 4, 2012 by Bettina
	Slowly turning the corner (Preview) I keep reading "It's a disease." I think it's easier for me to think of it as a genetic condition, but that is way beside the point, which is around here someplace. There have been so many good, thought-provoking posts of late and one that really helped me was Dolly Llama's about how all the a...	Temple	10	1182	Jun 4, 2012 by Temple
	Coming to terms with mom's death (Preview) This is my first post on any Internet forum, I don't know if this is appropriate place but anyway... I lost my mother 3 months ago to cirrhosis, she was 65. I'm having real trouble trying to convey the emotions I have about this. I feel the closest thing for me to compare it to is losing a parent to suicide, i...	Yvr	6	640	Jun 4, 2012 by Ness
	Dating a 12 year recovering alcoholic (Preview) I have been dating a recovering alcoholic for the past year and a half. He has been part of the AA program for the past 12 years. He attends 3-5 evening meetings a week, including a Big Book Study with his guy friends and his home group meeting. Many a weekend nights I have spent alone because of him atten...	Violla	6	1035	Jun 4, 2012 by Violla
	A lurker delurks - in need of others' experiences, encouragement, insights (Preview) Hello, all, this will be my first post to this board, but I have been "lurking" here for several months (I guess I'm shy.) I'll try to give some backstory without going on too long: I was in a relationship with an active alcoholic for 3 years (there's alcoholism - denied and swept under the ru...	peregrinator	6	662	Jun 4, 2012 by orchidlover
	How? Why? When? (Preview) UGH. My separated AH's life just sprials out of control again. Last night he got drunk and stepped out in front of a CAR. He was taken to the ER and now has a fractured rib and staples in his head. God knows what will be in the paper tomorrow (and he is on probation for 2 DUIs). It just never ends. I knew somethi...	sookie	5	639	Jun 4, 2012 by Pushka
	Nervous about him coming home from jail (Preview) I know he will have only been gone for 48 hours but I am not ready for AH to get home in the AM from jail. He will be home tomorrow during the day and then has to go back for the last night before they release him. I am nervous and don't know what to expect. I would like to think that he'll be humble and a bit depr...	ilovedogs	7	697	Jun 4, 2012 by sookie
	Fighting my inner voice (Preview) My inner voice is probably the worst enemy I have. It feeds the codependence triggered by my alcoholic. So here I am, up late and trying to catch myself before I relapse. So far, my A has been sober (this time) for 21 days. So this isn't about drinking, but I think I just witnessed her get triggered. And I ca...	littlehawk	7	746	Jun 4, 2012 by ilovedogs
	extreme anxiety (Preview) My boyfriend has relapsed. Hasn't used in 5 days or so he says. How do I deal with this extreme fear and anxiety that he is going to use again. I know with my brain that he is going to. It doesn't matter if he does or doesn't, I didn't cause it and I can't cure it. I know all this stuff but my heart is broken. I have...	shandi1966	2	824	Jun 4, 2012 by michellelong
	UGH (Preview) I think my AH just looks for things that upset me and push push push !!!! I am having a hard moment ... but am deep breathing through the insanity !!!!!!!!!!!	sweeetr	4	436	Jun 4, 2012 by michellelong
	Listening & Learning (Preview) I attended an AA meeting this evening with my husband. As I listened to those who spoke, including a member that began that topic of "surrender," I realized on a deeper level that the alcoholic seeks recovery when they are ready. Everyone's bottom, those who spoke, was different. But wh...	GailMichelle	7	1012	Jun 4, 2012 by Jackie11
	My brother and sister are both alcoholics ... (Preview) I can't believe I'm going around the mulberry bush again... My brother was an alcoholic, and died an alcoholic in November/2010. My family did everything we could to 'try to save him' but he really never wanted to stop drinking and deluded himself into believing he was a 'problem drinker' but not an...	aroundmulberrybush	6	721	Jun 4, 2012 by Oksie
	Problems getting into chat/meeting room 6/3/12 (Preview) Is anyone else having problems getting into the MIP Chat/Meeting room this morning? I keep getting a message that says: "startup error: java.lang.Error:unable to load interface pixx: java.lang.SecurityException:trusted loader attempted to load sandboxed resource..." I can get...	Overcome	1	363	Jun 4, 2012 by TryingToChange
	Trying to calmly figure something out... (Preview) Talking it out. A little back story. My A and I dated 4.5 years.. Off and on, of course. For the last year or so, I began working on myself, attending therapy, and trying to understand codependency. About a month ago, I flipped out because I could no longer deny how toxic he was for me, and I for him. I just st...	CDK	10	699	Jun 4, 2012 by CDK
	Annoyed, frustrated... (Preview) I have been making more posts on here lately because things are just not good at all right now at home. I'm furious and frustrated and a variety of emotions. I'm just letting it out here because you people are the only ones who seem to understand what I'm going through. telling my alcoholic boyfriend th...	LeahC	2	604	Jun 4, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Not doing well (Preview) Hi. Im still spinning. I tried to do something nice for myself yesterday, and took myself out for dinner. Well, I ended up crying in the restaurznt. I managed to get myself home, and I felt like I was just going to break into a million pieces. I tried to call a name on my al ankn contact list, but it was like 10...	CDK	6	646	Jun 4, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	wanted to share a good thing (Preview) I have come to think of you as my friends.. I share the most intemiate thoughts and cherish your "un"advice and support. I am so excited. I have been working an buying a place. The starting price 3 yrs ago was $110k. I cant afford that so, I let them list with realator. When it didnt sell they ph...	sweeetr	2	379	Jun 3, 2012 by Temple
	crazytown (Preview) so, the exA gets back in town after a month road tripping to Vegas. He attended son's baseball game (first time he'd seen his son in weeks) -- and he was wasted. I was not at the game, as I was working. Heard about his condition from others. I get home after work and the game to find a large screen TV that exAH...	rehprof	9	680	Jun 3, 2012 by sookie
	I am not at peace (Preview) Gosh, that's so hard to admit. This AM I was trying to be helpful and gave AH 2 rolls of quarters for his jail time. He claimed he only needed ones but I told him that maybe a roll of quarters might help in case the machine spit out the dollar bills. He didn't seem too grateful and I realized I was sticking m...	ilovedogs	6	681	Jun 3, 2012 by sookie
	New to this and trying to figure things out (Preview) Hi everyone, It has been less than I week since my ABF had his last major incident and realized that he needed to get help getting sober. He has attended AA for the first time in his life and has attended 2 meetings a day since the incident. I am so torn as to what to do. I know that I need to take care of myself...	LiveLaughLove	9	550	Jun 3, 2012 by LiveLaughLove
	Unsure (Preview) Hi There, I'm not sure I my husband is the same kind of alcoholic as the typical family member described here. He usually doesn't drink and can sometimes drink in moderation. But about once a month he'll get carried away and drink a huge amount and break promises and be horribly hungover for the next day...	Jeh	3	447	Jun 3, 2012 by Smukke
	FRIDAY NIGHT (9 PM EASTERN) MEETING TOPIC (Preview) 6/1/12 Topic~ PERFECTION ~ *:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~"My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet." Mahatma Gandhi:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:....**	Fina	1	313	Jun 3, 2012 by Fina
	ALANON BUSINESS MEETING SUNDAY, 6/2 AT 9 PM EASTERN business meeting (Preview) Just as the 12 Steps guide the members, the 12 Traditions guide the groups. To prepare for our business meeting, please review the Traditions, listed below. Following the Traditions is a limited agenda for our first-in-a-very-long-time Business Meeting, this Sunday, at 9 pm eastern time. Al-A...	Fina	1	937	Jun 3, 2012 by Fina
	Venting (Preview) Hello, I recently made a post on here stating how I got a job and was concerned on letting my alcoholic boyfriend, father of my 2 year old, pick up my daughter from day care. He pleaded with me swearing on everything that he would never drink and then drive with her in the car or while watching her. I was...	LeahC	4	652	Jun 3, 2012 by LeahC
	A delicate situation (Preview) Something came up that I haven't wanted to talk to my sponsor about, because although it's not gossip and I actually have a genuine dilemma that affects my recovery, it involves other people in our small Alanon community. Some time back, a married man in the program made a pass at me. I rebuffed him and...	printig	5	651	Jun 3, 2012 by nmike
	Anger at Sister in Recovery (Preview) My sister is a cocaine addict. She is a love/sex addict and codependent as well. She has 6 yrs clean. I am really proud of her for the 6 years with no drugs or alcohol. She has been married now for a year and her husband is also and addict. He has been clean for maybe a year. Her behaviors/relationship with he...	brokengirl	5	568	Jun 3, 2012 by Chaya
	Picking the A's (Preview) As we know a non A is different than an A. There are many good things about A's. But sadly the disease, when it really gets in there and damages them, those things go away fast. They call them tin Gods. Let me tell you the boys a lot of us are attracted to were the "bad boys." I think back and they we...	Debilyn	10	604	Jun 2, 2012 by Chaya
	New Here-is he really an alcoholic? (Preview) Hi-I'm new here and need advice about my husband and his drinking-I feel like I am losing my mind and hoping I can get some perspective. I have been with my husband for 4 years and when we started dating we would both have wine every night and I would have never guessed he had any sort of alcohol problem. Aft...	PurpleFlower	11	761	Jun 2, 2012 by PurpleFlower
	my outing to the beach (Preview) i went on to the beach with my male feind it went good i was soo tensed up ,dont really know why ,i couldnt wait for it to be over with,it seemed he throughly enjoyed it all,he didnt notice me being tense ,i kept it hid,we talked and talked he opened and closed the car door for me everytime,wow never have i bee...	silent	11	853	Jun 2, 2012 by silent
	Disrespect (Preview) Hello, There is something that I have been struggeling with for so long. I need someone to make sense of this concept for me. So we are not to argue with the alcoholic, or nag, or plea, etc. But what about when they disrespect you? Whether it's drinking related or not? I mean I hope the message isn't to excu...	LeahC	8	886	Jun 2, 2012 by LeahC
	Where has the Time Gone... (Preview) I Wonder this Often... Today My Youngest Grandbaby Turned One Year old & seems LIke Yesterday I was Pacing the Halls of the Hospital with her Daddy In my Ear Going Crazy, Taking me with him :) Waiting on her to Arrive... I was Speaking to my Husband today and we got to speaking of my ADad... He said.. &q...	Jozie	2	660	Jun 2, 2012 by Breakingfree
	When they'res more to it. (Preview) A short time ago, I posted about the anguish I'd been going through dealing with my ex-wife. The degradation of the victim-role I put myself in in the vain pursuit of somehow begging and wishing a sick person better. I have since attended a few local Al-Anon meetings and it felt good to meet other peop...	MyBrokenHeart	9	3211	Jun 2, 2012 by Aloha
	When we know they are drinking... (Preview) What do you do if you know the A is drinking, but don't confront him because you realize it isn't your place? My father is my A, and I am living at home with him and my mother until I graduate college. I used to help her look for the booze, smell him/the room to see if it smelled like liquor, and was basically he...	Elizabeth10	7	620	Jun 2, 2012 by Aloha
	Today (Preview) I'm sort of checking in. I thank God for this forum, just to air my thoughts if nothing else. Update - Yesterday I sent my AH a text that he could come a bit early to visit our daughter at our house (for those who don't know, we are separated due to his increasing anger/dv). I had my mom pick up my daughter f...	KLotus	2	533	Jun 1, 2012 by Jackie11
	Need ESH (Preview) I have one of my kids who I have a very hard time detaching from. Honestly, compared to his "issues" I'm probably the most detached. Short background: He's 13. He's got mental health issues. He's got a genius IQ. He engages in HIGH LEVEL adult and peer manipulation using several self d...	AStrongerMe	11	713	Jun 1, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	why do al-anoners seem to keep choosing Alcoholics (Preview) Went to my second meeting(at a differnent location)last night. I am realizing that many of the people at these meetings are using the term "detaching with love". eventually it seems they are divorcing the first one and then having the problem again with the second and sometimes third m...	FORGE AHEAD	11	1064	Jun 1, 2012 by FORGE AHEAD
	A and Mental Illness (Preview) My A has been diagnosed with severe ADHD, GAD and depression. Which came first, the mental illness or the alcoholism? We'll never know. The doctor has prescribed meds that can't be abused (they are somehow time released into the system and you can't speed that up by crushing the pills or taking mor...	surfgirl123	2	550	Jun 1, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Finally got what I aked for (Preview) Just last night I prayed to me higher power the same thing as always; give me clarity. let me know if he was unfaithful to me and show me what i need to see. Tonight i got that clarity. i found out that during our four year long relationship he has had another girlfriend for two of those years. he has been lyin...	Corgi2	9	627	Jun 1, 2012 by Pushka
	Anti-Craving Pill (Preview) Anybody know anything about the anti-craving pill? My boyfriend and father of my 2 year old, has said that his mom has brought this up again. She has been bringing it up off and on for the last couple years about him trying this anti-craving medication for alcoholics. Supposedly it is suppose to take th...	LeahC	8	634	Jun 1, 2012 by Mattie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.