The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have just signed up to this group tonight as i feel i need some support, advice and to speak to people who can understand whats going on. I have been with my partner for 7 months. When we first met i had no idea he was an alcoholic, as time past he started to drink more and more i confronted him on this and he agreed to cut down. He was put on Campral & with my support he tried cutting down & refused professional help. He relapsed 3 times in a matter or 2 months. While he has been drinking he gets abusive not physical just outbursts on what he says. Then tells me he is going to take his own life.
Two nights ago he had another relapse to the point of him drink driving to buy more alcohol. He was spotted by a family member of mine who drove past the bottle shop he has told me he wasnt drinking but later that night i found out he had been drinking 8 hrs straight. He at 4am he ended up in psychiatric ward in the hospital due to him harming himself.
I have 2 little girls & i am also suffering depression, Can someone give me and advice on what i should do & how to approach the situation He has agreed on getting help but how should i start?
You start by getting help for you .. big hugs and welcome, it's not an easy situation to live with an face to face alanon meetings would help a great deal in dealing with the isolation of the situation. There are many good books out there one of them is Getting Them Sober, Toby Rice Drew. Being enmeshed in someone else's disease is not going to help you help yourself.
Keep coming back,
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
You have made a step here to reach out and that is a HUGE thing. Can you check to see if there are any face to face alanon meetings in your area? I used to come to these boards and READ a lot--absorbing other people's experiences, strength, and hope but I would go to many meetings, too. I needed to learn how to protect myself from allowing the alcoholic to provoke me into negative thinking, anger, fear so that I could rebuild. Best wishes--keep coming back.
Welcome. I found this group in a moment of need, myself. This board is very welcoming, and I find I stay on track of healing myself by going to meetings and starting my day off by reading this board every morning.
The disease of alcoholism is a terrible one. I thought at first that it was a behavior caused by lack of will power. It will not be an easy road. I've been with my alcoholic for one year and nine months. We are finally each working on ourselves very diligently. She relapsed (and so have I - into codependency) several times. If he is serious about his own recovery, it will only work if you go into recovery with al-anon. It took me awhile to understand that I even needed any type of recovery. But it is working. And once it starts working, you'll notice real progress. Keep coming back. One day at a time.
-- Edited by littlehawk on Thursday 31st of May 2012 12:58:18 AM
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"Everything that has ever happened to us is there to make us stronger." - John Trudell
Lots of face to face Al-anon meetings, in time find a sponsor and keep coming back to MIP here. I second the book "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews volume 1, which they have at my public library. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Hi Ashley, my name is Kristy. I think they are right, search for local Al Anon meetings where you live. I'm going to do the same. You need to look out for you first, your health and mental state of mind is important for you and your children. If he's agreed to get help that is good, he has to be willing to help himself and do it only for himself. You will never be able to change him. He must be willing to work on himself. The program, I think would be very helpful to both of us. We don't have to go through this alone.
Thank you everyone for your replies, It has given me hope. He was released from hospital last night & stayed by himself and rang me alot to tell me how tempted he was due to the cramps and sweating but he managed to stay strong and not give into the alcohol. Tonight will be the first night we have spent together in a week so i am hoping things go well & once again thank you all
